>Little girl can make her hands glow yellow and sometimes talks to imaginary friends
>"Better fricking execute her, I guess."
Were IRL puritans really this moronic?
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>Little girl can make her hands glow yellow and sometimes talks to imaginary friends
You have no idea how ass backwards they are to this day.
>Massachusetts is backwards
>Connecticut is backwards
>New Hampshire is backwards
They all talk funny
Unironcally yes
Of course not. You think everything cinema tells you is factual?
You can find many accounts of so called witch trials and you'll find out they were very rational and reasonable. History is rarely so stupid.
>Puritans
I wish you people at least learned how to hide your obvious current-politics bait thread under the guise of "wwwhaaat i juuuust wanna talk about cartoons on the cartoon board, am i not allowed? :sad smeily face:" until like 3 or 4 comments in
This shit is depressing
What are you talking about? I'm not using "puritan" as some bullshit adjective for non-horny people I don't like. I mean the characters in Paranorman were literal 18th century puritan colonialists.
I never said "horny", anon... I never said it... I just said it's obvious how baithomosexual your thread is
I seriously didn't even consider "horny"
But hey, if the shoe fits, frick it
I don't want to duck my size 14s, anon.
>Characters are literally Puritans
>Bitches that this is somehow Modern Politics
Yes. Moreso, even. Wouldn't even wait for any proof of glowing hands.
Go watch The Crucible
>Were IRL puritans really this moronic?
americans have done worse for less
>girl is a witch
>communicates with ghosts
yeah she belongs on the stake
i mean yeah, its an unnatural ability in a dark time when everyone was scared shitless
also >puritans
>also >puritans
Is there some kind of contention/controversy around this term for historical usage? What would you suggest instead? Settlers? Pilgrims?
if your not bullshitting me its just one of those buzz words people like to throw around in a few threads here. namely people arguing about fetish threads
I'm not bullshitting you. The movie is literally about puritans and the Salem Witch Trials. Also, I guess I just spoiled it for you, but it's older than a decade at this point.
Didn't the witch trials start because women were legit acting like prostitutes and lying to get away with everything?
That and fungus in the wheat.
>Didn't the witch trials start because women were legit acting like prostitutes and lying to get away with everything?
Yes but they weren't the ones being accused, they were the ones doing the accusing.
None of the victims of the witch trials were younger than 45 most were in their sixties.
Sounds like a very stupid idea to kill off your futile young and keep old hags alive.
Yes. Within a historical-religious context Puritan is a label applied to a variety of Protestant groups seeking further reformation of the Church of England by removing Catholic influences and practices. The modern use of the term is mostly a 19th century creation based on 16th-17th century disparaging use of the term (Puritans didn't actually call themselves Puritans) and comes with a host of misassumptions about the group regarding pretty much everything. Puritans were not joyless, oppressive reactionaries; they were mainline to progressive reformists.
>Puritans were not joyless, oppressive reactionaries
They banned board games and Christmas.
Christmas in those days was more akin to Mardi Gras or Carnival than what we celebrate today. The ban on games had more to do with anti-gambling measures than hating fun.
>They banned board games and Christmas.
Music, dancing, stage plays, any Saint's feast day & the associated partying, banned.
Yes. Why do you think "Witch Hunt" is still a short term for mass hysteria? Hell, look at the Satanic Panic that started in the fricking 80's and is still kind of around. Get them a bit riled up and people will see enemies on every corner.
Even though Aggie was (initially) completely harmless, the fact that she had magical abilities in a way that could be easily verified made the legal case against her 1000x more substantial and fact-based than the entirety of the Salem Witch Trials, which were the result of mass hysteria and false accusations. They weren't even looking for real "magic users", just pagans. And they didn't even actually find any.
Of course, maybe IRL they weren't as moronic, because they never executed a child. The only child to ever be convicted and sentenced to death got off on appeal and was awarded reparations. It was the final straw that ended the witch hunts.
So, the people of Blithe Hollow are both more and less moronic than the actual historical puritans. I'd say more, because they were those stupid fricking hat buckles that no one else actually wore in the real world.
Superstition and fear were used to justify the trials but accusations were targeted attacks by people getting even with neighbors or, more often, trying to take their land.
That whole story of Giles Corey refusing to make a plea while being tortured until he died? He refused to plea because if he did and was then found guilty his property/land would be forfeit and wouldn't go to his family.
I always thought that was artistic license by The Crucible to draw parallels between the Salem Witch Trials and McCarthyism. Then again, my understanding of history is pretty shitty.
>Originally thought he was just metal as frick and didn't want to give them the satisfaction
>He did it for his family
That's metal as frick.
I mean, doing it for your family is very chad or whatever you call it these days, but why couldn't it be both? He'd ensure land for his family AND deny the morons the satisfaction of being right, these aren't mutually exclusive things
I just never knew about the family part. I just imagined an ornery motherfricker who was out of fricks to give.
>More.......weight.......
I can't kneel any harder to this absolute chad
It’s based on the doctrine of the cessation of miracles after the heroic age of Christianity. Basically, after Jesus and his apostles were dead, nobody on earth had miraculous power. This means that if anyone did display miraculous power, it meant that they were getting it from a source other than God - the Devil. Quite the contrary to stereotypes about Puritans however, they were some of the most educated people in Europe and they weren’t especially misogynistic. And Catholics actually killed far more suspected witches than they did. Plenty of Puritan types didn’t even believe in witchcraft, and indeed the official opinion of the Christian authorities throughout most of history was that magic is fake. However, many were also of the opinion that murderous intent (if someone believed they were summoning demons or doing hexes etc.) then that was enough to put them to put them to death. Others believed that “white” or supposedly good witches were worse than evil witches because they encouraged people to solve their problems through esoteric and/or pagan rites which distracted from typical means of salvation and assistance like prayer
>It’s based on the doctrine of the cessation of miracles after the heroic age of Christianity.
Really? Because I always assumed it was because of the explicit condemnations of witchcraft in the old Testament and the way the sentence for that was death. "Suffer not a witch to live" and all that. It seems a lot simpler an explanation that the theological debate between Cessationism versus continuationism that Calvinists in particular were so heated about.
Yeah, Catholics were more tolerant of magicy stuff throughout history (not after the publication of malleus maleficarum or whatever that book is called) because they didn’t have such an absolutist take on whether men could wield God’s power. The crusade of Puritans against magic wasn’t only against rural pseudo-pagans and wise women, it also extended to the Church itself. They were committed to battling against many things that we would call “holy magic” and I suspect the main reason is their cessationism; Catholic rituals like consecration, exorcism, beating the bounds etc. and even stuff like paternosters and signs of the cross were all fraudulent and primitive magical practices to the Puritans. Puritans hated both witches and monks for basically the same reason. Though of course Catholics were also persecuting witches en masse at the same time Puritans were
The official position of the Church through most of the Middle Ages was that Witches had no supernatural power. In fact one of the tasks of the Inquisition was to dispell such local superstitions.
Witch trials were a trend from the Renaissance.
It was completely justified
They must’ve been the republicans of their day
Take that shit to pol you sneed and feeder.
>Dear Cinemaphile, your disgusting fetishism and obsession with sex is ruining this site. Cinemaphile is a BLUE BOARD. That means SAFE FOR WORK. We should be able to scroll through the front page or the catalog without being bombarded with an ocean of exposed navels, bare collarbones, and uncovered feet. You coom-brained sickos should stop spending all day jerking off and try going to Church for once.
wiener and balls
Everything that isn't going to church or reading the bible is satanic.
We must destroy everything that I don't understand-- I mean, that is harmful to sky daddy-- I mean, to God.
Fun fact, Puritan influence actually caused Christmas to be illegal in New England until the early 1700s. They thought it was an unbiblical papist invention or a pagan holiday with a Christian coat of paint
IIRC it was also because Christmas traditions involved pranks and property crimes back then, much like Halloween/Mischief Night today.
Also lots and lots of drinking.
"Merry" originally meant tipsy.
Om nom nom tasty rye bread, I sure hope it isn't tainted with ergot-- HOLY SHIT THERE ARE WITCHES EVERYWHERE!!???!!!!
>That person doesn't believe I'm a woman even tho I wasn't born female better ruin his life for not participating in my fantasy
Who knows.
It's a people of the time issue. It's a mob mentality and mass hysteria issue. It's an issue of people with power who do not tolerate anything that challenges their orthodoxy.
Modern puritans aren't burning witches. Today it's activists.and cancel culture trying to ruin people's lives.
It wasn't caused by mass hysteria, that was how it was executed.
It was caused by shitty people trying to steal land and business.
The reason witches in pop culture have a cauldron and are associated with cats is because a huge chunk of women accused of witchcraft were beer brewers. If they were declared witches their land and property and business (and life) were forfeit.
>"Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble!"
>Cauldron is full of beer
This tracks.
>Moonshine Witches
Sounds fun.
>Were IRL puritans really this moronic?
yes. They still are too.
Thread is too fully of franky history discussion. Needs more cute/wholesome.
Moralgays have killed people for far less
Why did they draw his sister so thicc and suggestive, good god.
>make her hands glow yellow
Do they get warm?
Don't be weird, anon. Sure, the idea of turning her body warm and toasty to cuddle with her boyfriend is cute. But y'all nasties gonna come up with some freaky shit for it.
>Don't be weird
>In a Paranorman thread
Daily Reminder: Nobody involved in the Salem Witch Trials actually believed in witches or that anyone involved was a witch.
The salem witch trials were a real estate scam to steal valuable farm land from elderly women who's husbands were away at the time the brain child of a corrupt official taking advantage of the Governor's absence and the cooperation of b***hy younger women who wanted the older more conservative women of the town dead for criticizing them.
If you confessed to witch craft you could not legally leave your property to your next of kin.
>Nobody involved in the Salem Witch Trials actually believed in witches
Proof?
It was objectively a naked land grab, as other people in the thread have mentioned nearly all of the victims were people who owned profitable land and businesses and if you were found guilty of witchcraft (accused and then confessed under torture) your land was forfeit and confiscated by the state since it was local politicians performing the trials that mean those politicians basically acquired the land themselves. Also all the accusations came from people who had an axe to grind with the accused.
It's as transparent as it gets.
>confessed under torture
This was a standard practice for most crimes at the time.
A tale as old as time: rich business people try to get richer by wielding "morality" as a weapon against the marginalized with the assistance and approval of the mob.
you were beaten to the punch twice ITT, but you're still correct.
As anon said above the whole reason Giles Corey allowed himself to be tortured to death was so he couldn't be tried for witchcraft and lose his family property.
>Little girl can make her hands glow yellow
Like E.T,?
No. Medieval times child witches or criminals were never executed, they were sentenced to a convent or nunnery for the rest of their lives instead. If she was an adult, then yes.
>The child-murdering, psychotic zealots who killed Aggie were better people than their IRL counterparts because they did it out of genuine fear and religious belief, instead of as a shifty real estate/political power grab.
wasn’t the moral of the story that what they did to her was fine and she was the actual villain for wanting to punish them?
I don't think it particularly had a message or moral like that, it just more like an broad look at how fear and hate affect people.
Not even slightly. They were portrayed as 100% in the wrong, admitted what they did was horrible and regretted it centuries later. The moral was that Aggie would be just as bad as them to slaughter a town full of innocent people out of her own anger and fear. Ultimately, however, she didn't. Meaning she wasn't as bad as they were.
>The moral was that Aggie would be just as bad as them to slaughter a town full of innocent people out of her own anger and fea
Typical westoid cuck morality.
What do you expect? It's a kid's movie, not The Punisher.
No, are you moronic? The moral was what they did was wrong and came to regret it. Aggie's problem was her situation was terrible for everyone involved and genuine empathy and compassion was what laid her to rest rather than kicking the can down the road
>Aggie is a sheltered religious kid who can't admit she loves Harry Potter
Cute!
>Ywn get ghost cuddles from Aggie
the puritans were so moronic they got kicked out of england
Does anyone have the old smeet art and greens of noose/choking fetish aggie?
Don't have the greens on me but here u go
heh nice we need more choking fetish aggie preferably with norman.
I'd say if somebody has any magical power whatsoever, that's plenty of reason to kill the shit out of her. Humanity should not allow anything to exist which they don't understand.
An X-Men villain wrote this post.
Nta but muties can frick off & die.
I get kinda bummed about the lack of Aggie in Laika marketing material, but considering her entire existence is a gigantic spoiler I totally get it.
Been a while since we've had a paranorman thread
I didn't want to burn everyone out on 'em.
Smart really another thread I was in just did that, basically kept telling them don't make a thread the very next day and they did it twice. Now I haven't seen the thread in a while, to often kills a thread sadly. Weekly or bi-weekly usually works especially for laika threads/paranorman as they are fairly popular characters so people will at least check it out.
OP, you could get executed over something as petty as having a better crop than your neighbor's. The moment someone saw a chick doing something out of the ordinary, that moment she was en route to the pyre.
The Enlightenment was young, at the time Thomas Paine hadn't written 'The Age of Reason' yet and the Church, though declining, still held a lot of power.
>The Enlightenment was young
Yea they hadn't gotten to the real slaughter yet.
A bunch of people in a small town with zero education and no outside communication except horsemail.
They're going to go a little crazy.
Puritans could and would kill you over anything
You should see the shit IRL modern day Africans get up to
Weird things "happened" because the bread they made contained a hard to see mold that caused them to hallucinate IRL
They were taught that abnormal things were the work of witches and satan
They can't figure out whats going on and everything they know in the new world is still new and has not been mastered by man yet
One day a girl does something no human can do like glowing and communicating to an unseen force.
Stop acting like the world is like SouthPark the average person back then was smarter when it came to school knowledge and knew more about self sustainability than any of you frickers did
>Were IRL puritans really this moronic?
They were worse my dude, hands glowing yellow would mean execution FOR CERTAIN, talking to imaginary friends was a common reason to execute women too.
Honestly, they would execute her even if someone mentioned she had glowing hands, they didn't even need to actually check if it was real or not
puritans were the most despised for a reason, nobody could tolerate living with them. Though as always, God turned it around and used them to make a nation with religious tolerance.
but no, everything school told you about witch burnings is made up. There was this period called 'the enlightenment' where a bunch of fedoras started just making shit up about the past / religious people, claiming they did this and that, they're torturing barbarians with no morals, basically whatever to throw the scent off of themselves as boy-shagging hedonists. And the trend never went away. you know those ridiculously impractical torture devices like the iron maiden, where you could never remove the corpse afterward? made up.
>where you could never remove the corpse afterward?
I thought they just opened the thing back up and used some kinda tool to pry the body loose like getting a waffle out of the iron.
Nice schitzopost, christgay.
He's not entirely wrong. The Enlightenment is basically a bunch of self-aggrandizement shitting on earlier times for no reason other than, "hey, we got some second hand translations of a bunch of Byzantine and Eastern works and some copies of Greek and Roman shit that we didn't have before, that must mean everyone prior was moronic." Ironically the Enlightenment was one of the high points of occultism and superstition in Western academia, Middle Ages thinkers were heavy into logical analysis.
>Middle Ages thinkers were heavy into logical analysis.
In the Middle East maybe
Europe not so much
Oh eat shit
>Though as always, God turned it around and used them to make a nation with religious tolerance.
No. Every city a branch of christianity founded/was most prominent banned the other branches and pretty much ruled like it was Europe. It wasn't until after the Revolution that the notion of religious freedom started to take hold.
European witch trials and hysteria are facts, sorry god boy. The iron maiden was made up for tawdry adventure stories though.
Literally yes. Do you not know of the first Thanksgiving?
>white people are so moronic that they can't farm
>Americans see them starving and worry about having to kill them to prevent wendigos
>offer them food and educate them on how to farm
>real basic shit like "use fertilizer"
>white people survived certain death from the handout of food
Truly a grave mistake given their descendants being just as moronic today.
Real Life Pruitans killed something like 30 people because three teenage girls said they haunted them in their dreams. And the puritans believed it
>Were IRL puritans really this moronic?
Every time this question has ever been asked the answer has been "yes."
Every time.
You're talking about the guys that outlawed Christmas celebrations for being too fun.
Yes, they were that shitty.
Consider, if you will, that all real life witch trials occurred without any actual evidence of real magic at all.
I seriously wonder if there was some kind of contaminant in the water of food supply that caused low level hallucinations or neurological damage resulting in paranoia.
I know substances like that exist and have affected groups of people in the past. I've just never heard it tied to any fantastical criminal trials.
Fantastical in the sense of a real person saying "I accuse you of being a witch/vampire/werewolf/etc." and local law enforcement pursuing the case.
Not a fictional story.