>In 1973, pregnant scientist Constance Webb (Kerry Bishé) is in Peru searching for a rare spider when her guide Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim) betrays and shoots her to steal the spider for himself.
>The dying Constance is found by Santiago (José María Yazpik), the leader of Las Arañas, a tribe of Spider-Men who protect the rainforest.
>Santiago allows the spiders to bite Constance and delivers her daughter Cassandra before she dies. He sends Cassandra to New York City, where she grows up in foster care.
>In 2003, Cassie (Dakota Johnson) is a misanthropic paramedic partnered with Ben Parker (Adam Scott), who is caring for his pregnant sister-in-law Mary Parker (Emma Roberts) while his brother Richard is away on a business trip.
>While rescuing a man from a car crash, Cassie falls into the river and nearly drowns before Ben rescues her. The incident activates Cassie’s latent psychic powers and she begins having visions ranging from 30 seconds to five minutes into the future.
>Meanwhile, Ezekiel has somehow used the spider’s venom to become a billionaire and acquire spider-like abilities, including a poisonous touch, but he is also haunted by prophetic dreams in which he dies in battle against three Spider-Women.
>Ezekiel identifies the Spider-Women as Julia Cornwall (Sydney Sweeney), Anya Corazón (Isabela Merced) and Mattie Franklin (Celeste O’Connor), three teenagers who have crossed paths with Cassie at various points, and sets out to kill them first.
>Cassie has a vision of Ezekiel attacking Julia, Anya and Mattie on the subway and rescues them. They flee into the woods, where Cassie explains her powers, and later hide in a nearby diner, where Ezekiel attacks them again, but they manage to escape.
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>Cassie recognizes Ezekiel and leaves the girls with Ben and Mary while she travels to Peru and meets Santiago, who reveals that Constance was searching for a cure for a neuromuscular disease that Cassie had been diagnosed with, which the spider bites cured.
>Santiago teaches Cassie to astral project and tells her “when you accept responsibility, great power will come.” Meanwhile, Ezekiel locates the girls just as Mary goes into labor and Ben rushes her to the hospital, where she gives birth to Peter Parker.
>Cassie rescues Julia, Anya and Mattie and they lure Ezekiel into a final confrontation at a fireworks factory, where Cassie astral-projects and saves Julia, Anya and Mattie while also fighting Ezekiel, who is crushed to death by a falling neon Pepsi sign.
>One of the fireworks explodes in Cassie’s face and she falls into the river, where she is paralyzed by a piece of debris before the girls rescue and resuscitate her.
>Several months later, Cassie – now blind and wheelchair-bound – shares an apartment with the girls, and has a vision of the four of them suited up and fighting crime as Madame Web and the Spider-Woman. She remarks that the future looks bright, and they all live happily ever after.
>THE END.
Yep, it's kino.
>Ezekiel, who is crushed to death by a falling neon Pepsi sign
>One of the fireworks explodes in Cassie’s face
The absolute state.
Wow, I'm really impressed. They somehow managed to make something more stupid and shitty than Morbius
This is so utterly uninteresting.
The fact that they dragged three Spider-Women through the mud for this makes me sad.
I’ll check out the titty webms that come out.
>Ben Parker (Adam Scott), who is caring for his pregnant sister-in-law Mary Parker (Emma Roberts) while his brother Richard is away on a business trip.
Leaving your handsome medic brother in charge of your cute hormonal pregnant wife could really lead to some TROUBLE™.
Adam Scott is considered handsome now?
So it's true that they only appear in costume for a few seconds?
Apparently yes. I read its more or less what we saw in the trailer, thats it.
It's true. All of it.
Yes, and not only that, the costumes are only worn in visions of the future in 2 scenes, they never have powers or suits in the present day.
>villain is killed by product placement
Incredible. I couldn't come up with something so shameless if I tried.
>villain killed by a giant Pepsi sign
>mfw
I jacked off at an early screening of this AMA.
Are there enough jiggling boobs and thigh shots to aide in such a task?
Why would the guide guide her to betray her and not just keep the findings to himself? Just make it an inheritance scam or some shit
>a tribe of Spider-Men
>partnered with Ben Parker (Adam Scott), who is caring for his pregnant sister-in-law Mary Parker (Emma Roberts) while his brother Richard is away on a business trip.
for a second i'd forgotten uncle ben wasn't peter's dad and i just thought he was getting cucked
Does Sydney show any decent cleavage in the film?
No. But she spends most of the movie in glasses and tight stockings.