Man, those Jedi sacred texts sure were interesting. What was written in them Cinemaphile?
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 Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
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Man, those Jedi sacred texts sure were interesting. What was written in them?
Man, those Jedi sacred texts sure were interesting. What was written in them Cinemaphile?
|
Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
|
sneed
Power converter schematics
Based chad yoda dabbing on virgin Luke from space heaven.
*yoda quips at the camera*
Page-turners, they were not!
*audience explodes with laughter*
That would be kinda funny though and it fits yoda and his message in that scene
That’s what happened in the movie
If he actually said that then I forgot. I only vaguely remember that scene with ghost yoda and luke watching the fire. That was like the only pleasant scene of the movie
>*yoda quips at the camera*
>Page-turners, they were not!
>*audience explodes with laughter*
disney and their writing by committee
>*yoda looks at the camera*
>Let the past DIE, you fricking manbaby nerds! Star Wars is not for you anymore. Also, keep buying our junk.
Bravo Disney
The story of the first Jedi who was a woman and how she discovered the force
Probably just gooning material.
>Don't frick your sister.
>Don't drink green milk.
>Always prioritize getting your power converters
where may I find other similar scrolls of wisdom?
In the old EU, they said no one used paper and even the most ancient records were on disks and tapes.
>Three great treatises on the nature of the Force.
>Early fighting methods and Force wielding techniques
>A rant from some alien about the Force being a divine tool
>A recipe for chili
>Some bad poetry by Master Fufluff
>A whole volume devoted to rock collecting
>Some notes about personal hygiene
>An article from a magazine about women's underpants
Yoda knew what he was doing...
>Ahsoka tum pics
THE SACRED TEXTS
New culture shift just dropped - burning books is cool! Good leaders and good organizations now are the ones who destroy text and information, PRECISELY BECAUSE the passed-down knowledge and discoveries of our ancestors are obstacles to a new world order!
>burning books is cool!
Always has been.
I hate how they did a whole ‘do you ever read your Bible?’ shit here. They’re already slandering Luke Skywalker in the movie anyways, and they go and decide the entire ‘Jedi ways’ is some bullshit Luke doesn’t even know about that he uses to bully and lie to everyone just so he can be an butthole! Luke has never read what a Jedi was, even though he lies he says he did, and Yoda says it’s gay anyways!
To be fair she had known what a Jedi was for weeks at this point.
>Secret Jedi Rules
>1. No angsty teenagers on the jedi council
>2. Do not let Yoda alone with the younglings
>3. No hard feelings about misplacing giant clone armies
>4. Don't screen people in power for secret Sith activity. It's rude
What's the point of showing something like the Jedi bible only to destroy the concept afterwards? Rian jonshon's subversive autism is absurd.
Does Yoda secretly save the texts? I remember Rey having them at the end. I never saw 9 though.
Rey had already stolen them.
>fictional iconoclasm
>why?
>funy
It was written by old white men. Reading is for old white men anyway.
Rey is a woman and so amazing at the force, she just knows everything using her feelings and is more powerful than any of those chuds who came before her.
So why not holocrons?
>lets Luke waste his entire fricking life rotting alone on Shit Island before turning up and mocking him
was Yoda kind of an butthole
Yoda is one of the biggest buttholes of the franchise who isn't a villain
Luke was disconnected from the Force.
sometimes I feel like the israelites only made this crap to shit all over Luke and that's literally it.
>the israelites only made this crap to shit all over Luke and that's literally it.
That's exactly what they did. They thought the only way to get "their" star wars to succeed was to essentially shit on the original characters and make them look bad. They didn't even consider that it would do nothing but piss off the fans and make people hate "their" star wars, but that's exactly what happened.
Luke was the best part of the sequels
A good story for another time
Ashla bullshit.
why not share em? his sis is the leader of the republic, he could easily scan and share the texts to teach others the jedi way
Reminder that anyone can learn to be a Jedi and its not even really that hard.
The spin in season 2 is that shes only suddenly learned these jedi powers because she has like 1% capability to be one.
Yet because there on the planet of the original 3 force users + the planet itself is strong with the force that raises your ability to use it.
So from 1% shes now 30% able to use it but once they leave the planet she'll go back to just being useless lesbian girl.
If they dont then the moron in the hat truly will be a fricking moron because it means everyone in the galaxy and their pet dog can be a light saber wielding jedi
>leaves paper books out in shitty seaside cottage
I'm surprised they didn't fall apart
Force healing.
The Winds of Winter
“baskin roberts trust fund band”
>so then I made a bookshelf inside an old moldy tree and the books decomposed in like three years
baskin roberts trust fund band
>Oh, read them have you?
>Well, I-
Did Luke really not read them?
No one knows.
Its unbelievably shit writing.
>Pee pee leads to poo poo
>Poo poo leads to wee wee
>Wee wee leads to doo doo
Nothing. Jesuit-style Master/Student stuff is always verbal (and anal) in how knowledge gets passed along.
Rian Micro-Johnson and his bosses are fricking morons who know shit about squat.
What they should have been is old proto-Sith texts written by someone like Plagueis. Someone coming from outside with already dangerous ideas forming. Throw in a bit of that C3P0 "black speech" personality-shifting stuff and use that as the underlying mcguffin of the three movies. Have it that they used to be in some special chamber under the jedi academy and Kylo got a look at them one day and got "infected" by the knowledge (or evil mutant midchlorians or whatever tf). Something to do with that is what triggers Luke's attack. Add that all the students had been getting nightmares etc. Like the knowledge in these boos was leaking out like radiation. This ties into why the Jedi do the master/padawan thing also. The "knowledge" of the Force is a living thing and can't be put in books. Perhaps not respecting this is part of why Luke lost the academy. Maybe he thought the Force could be a more universally applied discipline, and by the end he realizes it needs it's guardians and monks.
You can even have R2 being offline because he was carrying the texts at some point. Luke's ship being grounded because of the same deal. The books screw with technology even quicker than they screw with people.
Everyone "gets" the archetypal idea of "dangerous knowledge" so it should work as an acceptable hook to hang a trilogy on. And allows arguments (dramatic demonstrations) about whether it's okay to destroy knowledge once it's been discovered.
But we were dealing with filmmakers who A: didn't know the material they were working with. And B: don't seem to even understand how storytelling works, as RJ himself seems to entirely rely on surface-level tropes and high-schooler tier subversive notions and twists in his other works. While who knows WTF is even going on with Abrams nowadays.
Kino
I really like the idea of exploring the Sith school and not just being left with "oh yeah they're the bad guys"
I like how any random anon’s “this is what I would’ve done” that I’ve EVER read has been better than the sequel trilogy we actually got.
Do or do not. There is no bi.
To be honest, I hated this scene more than anything else in the sequels. It is even dumber than the "somehow palpatine returned" line. It randomly popped into my head in the shower the other day and I got annoyed. Complete homosexual shit.
The Lusty Mandolorian Maid
I have no idea how Wookieepdia knows - probably they posted in on twitter or something
Looking at the sources in that article, it's all stuff from the visual dictionaries. A good chunk of the lore comes from those things.
>Rey, have you read the Dune series by Frank Herbert? There's some chapters in the later books that I would like you to examine. Oh no, they have nothing to do with Jedi training. They're purely for improving your sexual prowess. We'll be having lots of sex on my island. You didn't think you could just leave did you? I want you to roll those chapters through your mind. Frank could be quite kinky. I think you'll find I picked up a few things from reading them myself. Did I ever tell you about my father's Padawan? Oh, by the way, if you see anything by Brian Herbert, throw it in wood pile to be burned later. Those things just keep popping up.
been through watching star wars chronologically on d+
the last jedi is the one that intrigues me the most ngl
im either gonna fricking hate it or think its a misunderstood masterpiece
They were manuals on bypassing the compressor. Rey already knows everything about that.
how ot piss against the wind
>What was written in them Cinemaphile?
Great question but perhaps a story for another time!