Man, those planets are REALLY close together...

Man, those planets are REALLY close together...

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  1. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Imagine the tidal force

  2. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    JJ can't do scale. He pulled the same shit with Star Trek '09.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Star Wars has always been awful at scale. I will remind you that the clone wars, a GALACTIC scale war, was fought with 1.2 million clones, ~15% the size of the men fielded by the United States during World War II, a war that was fought on two continents and a few small islands in the Pacific.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Those clones were the equivalent of black ops specialists going up against battle droids that couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. They probably lost one clone for every thousand droids they turned to scrap.

  3. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why did the laser curve and split?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Stop asking questions and buy more tickets

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Uuh... Uuuhh... It's because... Uuh... Because it's a children's movie! Yeah, take that, chud!

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Why did the laser curve and split?
      "Phantom Energy" according to the lore. Look it up.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Link me to the autism mines that spawned this lore ore.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >would follow the line of egress that had been provided by the weapon's technicians
        Holy shit I thought you were making this up

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >deathstar #3 laser somehow gets seen by people halfway across the galaxy (also yeah, the planets are waaaaay too close)
        uhhhh, phantom energy!

        >laura dern lightspeed suicides into a capital ship, raising the question as to why that's not a common practice in sw combat
        uhhhh, million to one odds!

        >palpatine gets obliterated in a explosion in the middle of space and comes back again 30 years later
        uhhhh, dark science, secrets only the sith knew!

        anyone who had at any point been involved in the writing process of these 3 movies deserves to have their fingers broken with a hammer

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >phantom energy
          >dark energy
          >quintessence
          >sub-hyperspace
          -pocket nova
          incalculable amount of hackery

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >I saw you writing that script with your right hand. Can you do it with both hands?
          >..No sir...

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Palpatine should've been like an evil force ghost who was so absurdly over the top comically evil he literally died but just didn't stop existing. It would've made the possession plot he had make at least some sense. But instead he's like, in a body, just still alive.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Look it up.
        No

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Too fast.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      they used a fancy lens

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      For the same reason that Spock could watch Vulcan get sucked into a black hole from a different planet on the far side of the system, or why in the next movie, the Enterprise could fall into the Earth's atmosphere only about 5 minutes after being disabled next to the moon.

      JJ Abrams doesn't understand space at all. Like, not even at an elementary school level. The man is dumber than the dumbest black gorilla Black person, and can't even figure out why the things he puts in his movies make no sense.

  4. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Man, those planets are REALLY close together...
    Is this a galaxy for ants?

  5. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    We just had this fricking thread. Let it die already.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      *sigh* Somehow the thread returned

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Underrated

  6. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >"well,huh....(oh God I can't believe I'm actually going to say this)
      Som-

  7. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Everything about these movies is bad. Just an absolute clusterfrick. I went into TFA excited and came out extremely unhappy and confused about what I just watched. I hope everyone who made it gets ass cancer.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Does the Force give you super strength? That imperial guard woulda overpowered her and cut her breasts off.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      You poor bastard. I went through my happy-to-unhappy moment when somebody on Cinemaphile posted the .webm of Han fricking Solo getting ganked by his emo son. Yeah, just go ahead and kill off one of my childhood heroes you israelite homosexual. Like hell I'm going to watch your fricking flick now.

      Little did I know that there was much much worse to come. But at least I've never watched it, much less paid good money for it. And I never will. Thank you Cinemaphile. I owe you a solid.

  8. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    The same reason starships with FTL do battle w/in a stone's throw of each other like old sailing ships: so you can see them on the screen. But you knew that.

  9. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I am not even joking when I say this: this is what finally woke me up to the fact that 95% of the population is literally, full-blown mental moronic and not even really human. When I first saw this, the following train of thought developed in my mind over a few days
    >Something that moronic can't exist
    >Yet it does
    >Well, I guess a very moronic man could produce it as a thought
    >But if he ever voiced it, the sheer preponderance of non-moronic people around him would cause him to be mocked and corrected
    >So how does it exist?
    >Wait, how does it exist in a MAJOR MOVIE, with billions of dollars at stake?
    >This isn't just "general people around him correcting him," this is untold thousands of people involved in the writing and production of t the movie who could have, at any time, said "Uhhh dude... Planets ain't close together, dumbass"
    >NOBODY did
    >THOUSANDS of people with high stakes jobs, responsible to thousands of shareholders and studio executives with billions of dollars on the line, are moronic??
    >Wait, I've only ever seen rare people who saw the movie get upset at it, too
    >In a "normal" world, the world I just moments ago thought existed, 95% of the people in the theater would go "Wait, that's moronic!" simultaneously
    >Nobody did?
    >Only rare people mention it at all?
    >MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE moronic?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      When I first saw it in the theater, I thought it was a single planet surrounded by moons. When Finn saw the destruction, I thought they were in the same solar system. Then I read somewhere that those were multiple planets + the destruction was seen from lightyears away. It finally hit me that Disney Wars wasn't worth investing in.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      If you think this is bad check out how they brought back Palpatine.

  10. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    holy shit they're moons you morons

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >they're moons
      They're not. They comprise the entire Hosnian System. They just happen to be conveniently near each other to show off the bright colorful explosions.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      even as moons they would have collided with one another millions of years ago. They are too large and close together.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >they would have collided with one another millions of years ago.
        >They are too large and close together.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          My 12-year old son asked me if planets are actually this close in space and I had to explain him that filmmakers just whiffed

  11. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Everything I see from the new Star Wars reminds me of those feveresque dreams you get when trying to sleep after doing shitloads of drugs.

  12. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    For the record, that was originally meant to be Coruscant from the PT. They reneged on that decision after realizing they went too far. Motherfrickers really wanted to erase George's legacy to promote their own dogshit.

  13. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >How about a third Death Star, this time about 100 times more powerful, capable of shooting a target through hyperspace anywhere in the galaxy with a push of a button
    how could you not be embarrassed coming up with this?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      You have to admit that after *that*, creating Star Destroyers with ordinary superlasers on them is pretty weak tea.

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