MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE?
Will the real Lord Sauron please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Lord Sauron please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here
Y'all act like you never seen a maiar before
Jaws all on the floor like thirteen dwarves just burst in the door
And started whoopin' Bilbos ass worse than before
They ruined his decor,
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That's a female
>short hair
no
Yes, Google her name
He sexy
My ring's gone cold, I'm wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The white wizard orcs cloud up my eyeball
And I can't see at all
Even even if I could it'll all be gray
But the Nazguls on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad
It's not so bad
Dear Gandalf, I wrote you but you still ain't callin'
I left my Ring, my Narsil and my master Morgoth at the bottom
I sent two Nazguls back in autumn, you must not've got 'em.
There probably was a problem at the Black Gates or somethin'
Sometimes I scribble spells too sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways, frick it, what's been up man? How's your Hobbits?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Ravenna.
I read about your king Denethor too, I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some city that didn't want him
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest Maiar
I even got that underground dank you did with Radagast
I got a throne full of your posters and your pictures, man
I like the shit you did with Bilbo too, that shit was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
Just to chant, truly yours, your biggest Maiar
This is Sauron
shit was frickin cash yo, witnessed.
damnnnnnnnnnnn shieeetttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ,orgasmed bro orgasmed
Dear Gandalf, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad, I just think it's fricked up you don't answer Maiars
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside the Shire
You didn't have to, but you could've wrote a spell for Saruman
That's my little wizard, man, he's only a thousand years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you
For seventeen years and you just said "No"
That's pretty shitty, man, you're like his frickin' idol
He wants to cast spells just like you, man, he casts spells more than I do
I ain't mad though, I just don't like bein' lied to
Remember when we met in Dol Guldur, when I fought you and you fought back
See, I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my master neither
He used to always get captured in Valinor and wither
I can relate to what you're chanting in your spells
So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and chant along
'Cause I don't really got shit else, so chanting spells helps when I'm left blank
I even got a ring with your name across the shank
Sometimes I even jut my eye to see how much I can see
It's like my regimen, the vision is such a rush for me
See, everything you craft is real, and I respect you 'cause you sell it
My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you, Gandalf, no one does
She don't know what it was like for Maiars like us growin' up, you gotta ring me, man
I'll be the biggest Maiar you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Sauron
P.S. We should be together too
bruh
i am continually impressed and mortified by this website. it's just so much more vibrant than R*ddet or Tw*tter I love it
Cinemaphile is the last vestige of what the internet used to be like before social media destroyed it.
where the vocaroo bois at?
Dear Mr. I'm Too High To Fall or Ring My Hands
This will be the last Nazgul I ever send your ass
It's been six years and still no word, I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two Nazgul, I wrote the spells on 'em perfect
So this is my last spell I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in Mount Doom right now, I'm doin' ninety on the fellbeast
Hey Gandalf, I smoked a gram of Radagast dank
You dare me to fly?
You know that song by the Dwarves, "The Misty Mountain Cold"
About that company that wanted to find their lost forgotten gold
And did, then the curse of greed doomed them for eternity?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from the curse and drowning
Now it's too late, I'm on a thousand ounces now, I'm drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a ring
I hope you know I ripped all your Elves off the wall
I love you Gandalf, we coulda been together think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't smoke and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't cast spells and scream about it
I hope the Balrog eats at you and you can't chant without me
See Gandalf, shut up woman! I'm tryin' to talk!
Hey Gandalf, that's my girlfriend screamin' on the tail
But I didn't silence her, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
'Cause if she gets whiplash she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the pit now
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to cast this spell out?
I have the feeling the orks will be treated as refugees who got shafted by the elfs and just want a home after the melkor thing played itself out. But because the elfs a black numenerons treat them like dirt they'll have a war. blond guy is like their spartacus.
I hate short hair twink. Doesn’t fit the lore at all.
Passion of the christ
WHY WAS SATAN A BABY AND WHO IS THE b***h HOLDING HIM?!
The b***h holding him is Satan, not the baby.
then who was the phone?
And started whoopin' his ass worse than before
They ate first of course, throwin' plates over furniture (ah)
It's the return of the "ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Gollum said, nothing, you idiots
Gollum’s dead, he's locked in my basement (ha ha)
Feminist women love a black Elf
"Chicka, chicka, chicka, Lord Sauron, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his one-ring-what
Flippin' to rule-them-all"
"Yeah, but he's so cute though"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of hobbits up in my realms loose
But no worse than what's goin' on in the king of Rohans courtrooms
I was going to make this thread. You stole this from me slim.
Yo everybody in Middle-earth throw yo motherfricking rings up and follow me
Everybody in Middle-earth put yo motherfricking rings up look look
Now while he stands tough, notice that this elf did not have his ring up
This Eru Illuvator got you gassed up
Now whos afraid of the big dark lord
One, two, three and to the four
One ring, two rings, three rings, four
Four rings, three rings, two rings, one
You're ring, he's ring, no ring, none
Mairon, real name no gimmicks
Two Morgul Orc girls go round the Black Gate
Round the Black Gate,round the Black Gate
Two Morgul Orc girls go round the Black Gate
Round the Black Gate,round the Black Gate
Guess who's back
Back again
Sauron's back
Tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back
Guess who's back, guess who's back
Guess who's back, guess who's back
Guess who's back
I've created a Uruk-Hai
'Cause nobody wants to see Morgoth no more
They want Sauron, I'm chopped liver
Well if you want Sauron, this is what I'll give you
A little bit of Dark Man with some Morgul Orc
Some Trollthat'll jump start my heart quicker
Than a shock when I get shocked at Minas Tirith
By the Rohirim who are not co-operating
When I'm sieging' the table while he's relieving
Hi my name is (who?)
my name is (what?)
my name is Slim Sauron
When you walked through the door (woo)
It was clear to me (clear to me)
You're the one they adore
Who they came to see (who they came to see)
You're a DARK LORD (baby, yeah)
Everybody wants you (everybody wants you)
Player, who can really blame you? (Who can really blame you?)
We're the ones who made you
How does he have a buzz cut? Dwarven Electric Razors?
Next level cringe
Serious question
Why did the show creators stay true to how Sauron is described but race swapped everyone else?
>stay true to how Sauron is described
Because when I think Sauron the Deceiver, I think deformed, inbred manlet
Sauron, under the guise of Annatar, is literally described as "fair" as all the elves are. He was never deformed, even as the necromancer (hes literally a master shapeshifter why would he look like an ugly troony)
I'm thinking this guy and the others he was with on the ridge are members of the cult of melkor, and not sauron.
IM HERE TO KILL CHAOS
Yo,
His plans are ready, Nazgul, Grond is heavy,
There's deception in his soul already,
Morgoth's spaghetti,
But on the surface he looks calm and ready,
To crush Man, but he keep on forgetting
where his ring's now, the battle goes so loud,
He looks with his eye but their plans have come out,
He's choking now, Mt Doom is erupting now,
The clock's run out, time's up, over, blaow
They actually did it, they made Sauron an angry incel
BACK
BACK AGAIN
Is that kind of haircut even possible without an electric shaver?
If youre a magic shape-shifting angel I'd imagine you could do it, but why would you become ugly eminem and not literally anything else
I was going to write a parody for Toy Soldiers but 90% of the lyrics already fit
This guy was ahead of his time
I aint gonna lie
Besides the short hair cut he does really look like a good Sauron. Gives me major Griffith vibes.
WHERE IS THE VOCAROO CHAD AT