Not to derail the thread with /misc/ shit but is anyone else disgusted that CADMUS raided Luthor's house? This is our tax dollars at work? If he's not free, are any of us?
Kahndaq is in the Middle East. But no, I'm metropolis born and raised.
Don't know how anyone who was born here could simp for that Bald homosexual, and his gay Purple jumpsuit.
Tell it to whoever gives out the lightning powers, you woke hypocrite. If you picked up a history book you'd know that the races are entirely seperate according to who Vandal Savage was impregnating that century.
do what a friend of mine did >hitch a ride to Gotham >try not to get shot >sneak into warehouse >open vats of acid and shit everywhere >bathe in a vat >get superpowers and become villain >go kick supermans ass
it works, get your revenge anon
>try not to get fatally shot
sorry my mistake, ya gotta stay positive in this hellhole
I don't want to die plus Superman is invincible. I just hope he leaves this planet.
you'll wish you jumped into that acid. you know how many homeless get abducted and experimented on by CADMUS and Lexcorp? At least you'd have some powers.
Did anyone else see Jr at the pride parade? Supes must rolling in his fricking grave right now. Speaking of grave, how long until he comes back from the dead, again.
I have to go on extended trip to Gotham for work next month and something came up. I’ve read through and prepped as much as I can for all the usual hellhole happenings, but none of the guides can answer this question: Is it rude/dangerous to laugh in public in the city? I don’t want to get shot in the back by someone “defending themselves” thinking it’s another Joker attack or something.
Gothamgay here. Yeah, laughing in public, at least belly-laughing is a pretty big faux pas. Especially after the Joker Wars, everyone's on edge, more than usual, with anything clown-related and a lot of people are carrying around weapons for protection even in the nicer parts of town.
Fawcett Citygay here, why does everything look like it's stuck in the 50s? I understand buildings, but people still dress like its 1954 there and drive classic cars.
He does. Had to clean up after him more than once. Thankfully it just smells like clay too. Only annoying thing is that the little chunks of clay he shits out have a life of their own too so actually cleaning them up without them wiggling away is harder than it sounds.
Are you selling any used women's underwear?
I do. Gotta make an extra buck in this economy. Right now I'm holding on to one of Harley Quinn's thongs (It smells like cotton candy) and a leaf Poison Ivy used to cover up her cooch, if either of those interest anyone here.
If someone's stupid enough to be willing to pay me 50 bucks to walk to their death then hell, I won't lose any sleep over it. Already had a few guards trying to have their way with Ivy now and then. The ones that are still alive are now eunuchs.
>how do all of these dead bodies keep winding up in the inmates cells? >why do we always find them the morning after anon is on duty?
Enjoy getting shitcanned when they get wise to your racket.
You misunderstood. I don't have any racket going on, I'm just a janitor. The guards don't need to get through me to get to them. They end up fricked up during other janitors' shifts too. Management knows the problem are guards that are too stupid to remember you shouldn't hang around Ivy's cell for very long or her pheromones frick you up.
our universe collided with that weird one again? I swear I just saw the spiderkid swinging near my howse again and he left this sticky web on my window, why the GCPD can just arrest those illegal crossuniverse drviants?
I don't fricking know anymore man...I remember living paycheck to paycheck in a shitty apartment, now I'm suddenly head of Star Labs with two kids and a wife.
I'm just thankful that my local Big Belly Burger didn't go bankrupt in the 90s in our new timeline
Could be this was actually a worldjump to a better time-line? Before I was working as a farmhand on a farm just outside Gotham and dating the farmer's daughter on the side. Now I OWN the farm and I'm engaged to her.
I don't know, dude. Last time I was on this board the timeline got fricked around like 3 or 4 times because of that homosexual Reverse Flash. Pretty sure one anon ended up becoming Doctor Fate in one of those timelines and another one was banging two of the Batgirls at a time.
I used to work at Planet Krypton and now I work at at Batburger
You're thinking of Superbabes, anon. There's one across the street from me. Not really my kind of place, but the Harley Quinn cosplayer they got there is fricking insane. It's kinda hot.
2 years ago
Anonymous
No, Planet Krypton was just a classier Super babe.
2 years ago
Anonymous
Yeah, had to look it up. Doesn't look like a bad place, honestly. Definately classier thant Superbabes, like you said.
I don't know, dude. Last time I was on this board the timeline got fricked around like 3 or 4 times because of that homosexual Reverse Flash. Pretty sure one anon ended up becoming Doctor Fate in one of those timelines and another one was banging two of the Batgirls at a time.
Matched with a girl on tinder, she seems great but there's one big issue.
She's Gotham City born & raised. Call me prejudiced but I get scared lmao. Something about that city is fricking sick, and not in the good way. I'm not even sure whether Batman and Robin help or hurt matters.
It's a pretty sick city, but an anon before me wasn't lying that whatever's in the water that's killing people also makes the women ridiculously hot. Still, not sure there's pussy good enough in this world to get me to risk getting Jokerfied by that homosexual clown.
So, I think there's some serious connection between Batman, Bruce Wayne, and Matches Malone. But I can't say for sure what. They definitely all have some pretty strong jawlines though. Think they all went to the same plastic surgeon?
Why do people keep making posts about the cape freaks? This board is for cartoons and comic books about fictional worlds that don't have all that stressful shit.
sorry pal but i read superhero comics
and where else are we gonna post about superheros? the news board banned all superhero talk... also anyone else want to frick plastic man?
Ok scenario for you guys, let’s say I work as… Yes I’m ashamed but let’s get past that a Batman stripper in Coast city, well hypothetically I find myself chained up to a bathroom with the words ha ha ha spray painted, at least I hope that’s paint and it says no avoid the numbers. Well I have my phone on me you can guess what those numbers are. So chances I’ll make it out alive I’m guessing a 2.
Don't be ridiculous all of her magic is smoke and mirrors, except maybe for the part where she pulls a mirror out of smoke still trying to figure that one out.
Shit there's not a parade today is there? Frick well guess I'm gonna die gonna draw a red x on my back when you see the news that one will be me it's been real guys.
i saw the joker drive by the other day on the way to work and i shit you not that mothefricker was fricking NAKED he had his fricking DICK hanging out the window??? why wont batman just fricking kill this guy already
bros i found some pink kryponite while diving in a lake today... homosexual lex must have dropped it...anyway think i should like try and get it into contact with superman?
i just finished jerking of to the thought of Shazam fricking me
sure would suck if he turned out to be a kid ahaha that would be weird if he was a kid in a hot sexy mans body ahahahah
hey guys so uh how come flash always takes so long?
like why does he have entire conversations with the guy with the freeze gun when he could just run so fast he doesnt get noticed and run him into jail? my wife was frozen yesterday because of him
It’s not a freeze gun it’s a cold gun, trust me my uncle was a security guard and will never fail to tell the story of Captain Cold pistole whipping his boss the Bank Manager for calling it a freeze gun. He got fired for laughing but get this Captain Cold was such a great guy he slipped him 50 thousand.
I hear they got a real problem with rats and things like bedbugs. You can say a lot about Metropolis and Gotham, but the alien invasions, weird chemical spills, and other stuff have completely destroyed the pest populations...well except for the crocodiles, someone keeps importing them and then dumping them in Gotham's goddamn storm drains. But I'll take all the lunatics, space weirdos, and crocodiles if it means my shit building never sees one blood sucking bug or ankle biting vermin.
Yeah you’re full of shit I just found a news article about a guy named rat catcher releasing and this an actual quote a plague of rats on mainstreet Gotham.
I heard Flash is a criminal now. can't wait for the next crisis.
There's like 5 Evil Flashes, would you really believe that? It could have been Godspeed for all you know.
>Reverse Flash
>Professor Zoom
>Black Flash
Does Godspeed count as two?
Forgetting that Savitar guy.
Child Endangerment Crisis
Was his suit yellow by chance
We did get an attack by Reverse Flash here a few weeks back, so that doesn't come across as surprising.
GUYS I THINK SUPERMAN IS OWNDER WOMAN
can't wait for the next Marble movie
I wish they'd stop making anonman so gay.
Remember when we all believed Black Manta was being oppressed by Aquaman.
Is the water safe to drink in Gotham yet?
No.
It'll make you hot but it'll also kill you still.
still having nightmares and seeing shit during the day.
Was it ever safe to begin with?
I heard it makes the fricking Clowns gay
You must be a metropolis transplant. Standard practice around here is to boil your water with the window open. That or buy bottled stuff.
Not to derail the thread with /misc/ shit but is anyone else disgusted that CADMUS raided Luthor's house? This is our tax dollars at work? If he's not free, are any of us?
Frick Luthor his giant Robot stomped my house.
Spoken like a true Mexican. Go back to Kahndaq.
Kahndaq is in the Middle East. But no, I'm metropolis born and raised.
Don't know how anyone who was born here could simp for that Bald homosexual, and his gay Purple jumpsuit.
>all brown people aren't the same
Tell it to whoever gives out the lightning powers, you woke hypocrite. If you picked up a history book you'd know that the races are entirely seperate according to who Vandal Savage was impregnating that century.
Who the hell is Vandal Savage?
>He thinks Vandal Savage is actually immortal
Yeah, and Nic cage is a vampire.
Frick him, I want a pair of pants.
frick clowns, aliens , and jannies
black Powergirl is better
So long as she can crush my wiener with her veganal muscles, Power Girl can be whatever color she wants to be.
Superman flew through my building fighting Amazo again. I can't fricking stand that homosexual, now i'm homeless again.
do what a friend of mine did
>hitch a ride to Gotham
>try not to get shot
>sneak into warehouse
>open vats of acid and shit everywhere
>bathe in a vat
>get superpowers and become villain
>go kick supermans ass
it works, get your revenge anon
I don't want to die plus Superman is invincible. I just hope he leaves this planet.
>hitch a ride to Gotham
>try not to get shot
I don't think that's possible.
>try not to get fatally shot
sorry my mistake, ya gotta stay positive in this hellhole
you'll wish you jumped into that acid. you know how many homeless get abducted and experimented on by CADMUS and Lexcorp? At least you'd have some powers.
That's like 40% of the plot of Hench
Did anyone else see Jr at the pride parade? Supes must rolling in his fricking grave right now. Speaking of grave, how long until he comes back from the dead, again.
So just hypothetically if you anons got psychic powers after being exposed to a glowing space rock what would you do?
Am I the only one hearing’SOMEBODY SAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEEEEE!’ whenever I get into this town?
I thought I was the only one, plus it hapened multilpe times a day too... and I thought Smallville would be a eaceful town
>Thinking hearing early 2000s emo every time you enter a town isn't based
Oh but I'm sure some crime ridden hell holes like Gotham or Metropolis are better right? Get fricked city slicker
Nobody even knows what stupid flyover city you're talking about
Guys, anyone else get the sneaking suspicion Bruce Wayne is Batman?
why the frick do people always talk about superhero news on the comic board?
I have to go on extended trip to Gotham for work next month and something came up. I’ve read through and prepped as much as I can for all the usual hellhole happenings, but none of the guides can answer this question: Is it rude/dangerous to laugh in public in the city? I don’t want to get shot in the back by someone “defending themselves” thinking it’s another Joker attack or something.
Gothamgay here. Yeah, laughing in public, at least belly-laughing is a pretty big faux pas. Especially after the Joker Wars, everyone's on edge, more than usual, with anything clown-related and a lot of people are carrying around weapons for protection even in the nicer parts of town.
Fawcett Citygay here, why does everything look like it's stuck in the 50s? I understand buildings, but people still dress like its 1954 there and drive classic cars.
Trade restrictions Like Cuba.
I work as a janitor at Arkham Asylum. AMA
does clayface shit clay?
what do you do with it?
He does. Had to clean up after him more than once. Thankfully it just smells like clay too. Only annoying thing is that the little chunks of clay he shits out have a life of their own too so actually cleaning them up without them wiggling away is harder than it sounds.
I do. Gotta make an extra buck in this economy. Right now I'm holding on to one of Harley Quinn's thongs (It smells like cotton candy) and a leaf Poison Ivy used to cover up her cooch, if either of those interest anyone here.
Are you selling any used women's underwear?
If someone paid you 50 bucks would you let them molest one of the inmates?
And people wonder how the clown keeps escaping.
Eww I'd rather frick penguin than that ugly homosexual, no sir for me its riddler
If someone's stupid enough to be willing to pay me 50 bucks to walk to their death then hell, I won't lose any sleep over it. Already had a few guards trying to have their way with Ivy now and then. The ones that are still alive are now eunuchs.
No.
>how do all of these dead bodies keep winding up in the inmates cells?
>why do we always find them the morning after anon is on duty?
Enjoy getting shitcanned when they get wise to your racket.
You misunderstood. I don't have any racket going on, I'm just a janitor. The guards don't need to get through me to get to them. They end up fricked up during other janitors' shifts too. Management knows the problem are guards that are too stupid to remember you shouldn't hang around Ivy's cell for very long or her pheromones frick you up.
Are you really Jane Doe?
Do the lady-inmates ever try to use feminine wiles to get you to help them escape?
our universe collided with that weird one again? I swear I just saw the spiderkid swinging near my howse again and he left this sticky web on my window, why the GCPD can just arrest those illegal crossuniverse drviants?
... I feel like i was supposed to be dead, with a bunch of strange names in my head too... This is a new timeline?
I don't fricking know anymore man...I remember living paycheck to paycheck in a shitty apartment, now I'm suddenly head of Star Labs with two kids and a wife.
Pretty based worldjump tbh
I'm just thankful that my local Big Belly Burger didn't go bankrupt in the 90s in our new timeline
Could be this was actually a worldjump to a better time-line? Before I was working as a farmhand on a farm just outside Gotham and dating the farmer's daughter on the side. Now I OWN the farm and I'm engaged to her.
I used to work at Planet Krypton and now I work at at Batburger
Upgrade, honestly. Batburger beats the shit out of Planet Krypton.
>Not liking the resturant that was bascially a Superhero themed hooters
ngmi
You're thinking of Superbabes, anon. There's one across the street from me. Not really my kind of place, but the Harley Quinn cosplayer they got there is fricking insane. It's kinda hot.
No, Planet Krypton was just a classier Super babe.
Yeah, had to look it up. Doesn't look like a bad place, honestly. Definately classier thant Superbabes, like you said.
Which one is better?
Batburger. Not as greasy.
Better theme too. Who the hell wants to eat at a place named after a destroyed planet where countless people died?
I really hate the jokerized fries my girlfriend was killed when joker switched all of Gotham cities tampons with marshmallow sticks
I don't know, dude. Last time I was on this board the timeline got fricked around like 3 or 4 times because of that homosexual Reverse Flash. Pretty sure one anon ended up becoming Doctor Fate in one of those timelines and another one was banging two of the Batgirls at a time.
okay so that why that timeline die, it was too good for the universe sake.
I remember that. I was banging this one Powergirl cosplayer when it happened. Timeline got REAL fricky.
can't believe WayneMAX and Luthor+ are getting merged. fricking Luthor cancelled Squirrel Girl.
Met this really cool girl during today in DC at the Smithsonian, she was a curator and we're going out for coffee. Wish me luck with Diana!
So what comics are you guys reading? Me got some Daredevil.
Matched with a girl on tinder, she seems great but there's one big issue.
She's Gotham City born & raised. Call me prejudiced but I get scared lmao. Something about that city is fricking sick, and not in the good way. I'm not even sure whether Batman and Robin help or hurt matters.
Thank god for Metropolis. Love Supes, simple as.
It's a pretty sick city, but an anon before me wasn't lying that whatever's in the water that's killing people also makes the women ridiculously hot. Still, not sure there's pussy good enough in this world to get me to risk getting Jokerfied by that homosexual clown.
Hey anons how come most of green arrow's sidekicks seem weirder than batman's robins?
I used to shoot up heroin With Speedy back in the day, Nice guy.
There’s only one Robin
Otherwise Batman would just be a pedo
Like Bruce Wayne and his little orphan boys
Why did he shrink than?
So, I think there's some serious connection between Batman, Bruce Wayne, and Matches Malone. But I can't say for sure what. They definitely all have some pretty strong jawlines though. Think they all went to the same plastic surgeon?
Nah, no way Matches could afford the same kind of surgeon a big cheese like Wayne has. Get that outta your head.
Why do people keep making posts about the cape freaks? This board is for cartoons and comic books about fictional worlds that don't have all that stressful shit.
sorry pal but i read superhero comics
and where else are we gonna post about superheros? the news board banned all superhero talk... also anyone else want to frick plastic man?
People just get tired of talking about pirates after a while, anon, it's just a phase.
Ok scenario for you guys, let’s say I work as… Yes I’m ashamed but let’s get past that a Batman stripper in Coast city, well hypothetically I find myself chained up to a bathroom with the words ha ha ha spray painted, at least I hope that’s paint and it says no avoid the numbers. Well I have my phone on me you can guess what those numbers are. So chances I’ll make it out alive I’m guessing a 2.
Rumor is Zatanna does real magic in her shows
What a cheater
Don't be ridiculous all of her magic is smoke and mirrors, except maybe for the part where she pulls a mirror out of smoke still trying to figure that one out.
He did nothing wrong
Did you hear the one about Harley Quiin becoming a vegetarian.
Shit there's not a parade today is there? Frick well guess I'm gonna die gonna draw a red x on my back when you see the news that one will be me it's been real guys.
i saw the joker drive by the other day on the way to work and i shit you not that mothefricker was fricking NAKED he had his fricking DICK hanging out the window??? why wont batman just fricking kill this guy already
Was he hung?
im not a homosexual anon but i will say judging by the state of it Quinn defiantly enjoys a little CBT
>Harley is into CBT
bros i found some pink kryponite while diving in a lake today... homosexual lex must have dropped it...anyway think i should like try and get it into contact with superman?
Why are all the white girls into beast boy?
W keep seeing him come out of the girls bathroom with peanut butter on his tongue
I fricking swear if I that primadonna homosexual Booster Gold keeps trying to be the next Green Lantern...
Who’s booster gold?
i just finished jerking of to the thought of Shazam fricking me
sure would suck if he turned out to be a kid ahaha that would be weird if he was a kid in a hot sexy mans body ahahahah
Can someone please nuke gotham?
i hate it here.
Don't worry after Lex's house got raided i heard a bunch of villain's ended up getting ahold of nuclear level secrets
Can someone please unnuke Gotham?
I hate living in the Burn.
Anons I think I just ran over wil e coyote
Nightwing has such a tight ass
god i wish i was a villian so he could beat me up....
how easy do you think it would be to find a superhero gf/bf?
what are the odds any random person im dating is a superhero/villian?
You guys think this Jonah Hex figure was real?
Cmon man, none of those cowboy stories are real. That shit's like paul bunyan or the dude who lasso'd a tornado. It's just fairy tales.
Of course he's real. I saw a wax figure of him on a school trip to the museum back when I was in middle school.
oh frick i think i hear Bueno Excellente outside.....
hey guys so uh how come flash always takes so long?
like why does he have entire conversations with the guy with the freeze gun when he could just run so fast he doesnt get noticed and run him into jail? my wife was frozen yesterday because of him
Is that even fatal? I keep hearing conflicting reports.
It’s not a freeze gun it’s a cold gun, trust me my uncle was a security guard and will never fail to tell the story of Captain Cold pistole whipping his boss the Bank Manager for calling it a freeze gun. He got fired for laughing but get this Captain Cold was such a great guy he slipped him 50 thousand.
Did you ever notice that Newyork seems to be relatively chill compared to smaller city’s, like metropolis and Gotham.
I hear they got a real problem with rats and things like bedbugs. You can say a lot about Metropolis and Gotham, but the alien invasions, weird chemical spills, and other stuff have completely destroyed the pest populations...well except for the crocodiles, someone keeps importing them and then dumping them in Gotham's goddamn storm drains. But I'll take all the lunatics, space weirdos, and crocodiles if it means my shit building never sees one blood sucking bug or ankle biting vermin.
Yeah you’re full of shit I just found a news article about a guy named rat catcher releasing and this an actual quote a plague of rats on mainstreet Gotham.
See, it's only problem when Ratcatcher is around. You never hear about them any other time
My friend tried to leak LexCorp secrets on LexChan. He got banned and woke up dead the next day.