>mom calls me downstairs cause conan is on the telly
>its the shitty 2011 one
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>mom calls me downstairs cause conan is on the telly. >its the shitty 2011 one
Meh, it wasn't that bad.
It wasn't pozzed with progressive diversity shit, but that's the only good thing that can be said about it. In fact, I don't remember a single scene from the movie. Extremely forgettable.
>I don't remember a single scene from the movie
This is without fault the one thing that everyone remembers about the film. That they don't remember anything from it. It's so uncanny that it makes me wonder if it ends with a scene that hypnotizes the viewer into forgetting everything they saw in the last 2 hours.
like, maybe they show this film to manchurian candidates so they don't consciously remember their programming
Well I do kinda remember the start with Ron Pearlman, and something about a chariot chase, that's it. Maybe they shouldn't have made everything a CGI shitfest and it would've stuck more in people's mind. It looked like 300 but without the meme potential.
>Meh, it wasn't that b-ACK
>complaining about Rachel Nichol's breasts slapping around in a form fitting dress for 90 minutes
You should tell your mom that you're gay
Hollywood needs to learn that when a movie is perfect, you should never try to remake it. Why is every new terminator shit? because nothing can top T2. Why is every new jurassic park shit? Because the first one was perfect and there is nowhere to go from there. Conan the Barbarian is a perfect film and there is no topping it. How about they fricking try to remake Se7en while they are at it? A movie so perfect that the entire mystery/thriller genre dried up for 20 years because nobody could top it.
The original Conan's good but by no means perfect.
wrong
The effects were shit and so was the "acting," if you can call it that.
Arnold's Conan is kind of a pussy, ngl.
>t. would have been one of the dozen other slaves who died of exhaustion turning the Wheel of Pain
Conan died and had to be saved by a woman and a scrawny chinaman, he's not better.
>pilpul activated
>shifts goalposts to a false equivalency
oh well
>no argument
I accept your defeat.
Conan is saved multiple times by Women in the original REH stories you mong.
Unironically REH had a thing for turning the "damsel in distress" thing on it's head, and he was the OG writer of strong female characters that can hold their own with the Men.
Conan saves lots of damsels, and even the "strong female" characters usually wind up being saved by him in the end; but they have their fair share of getting Conan out of the shit as well.
I was pretty fricken hype when I heard Rachel Nichols was going to do her first sex scene in this. Then it turns out she used a body double. But we got the Fappening anyway so joke's on her I guess.
I've fallen asleep three (3) [III] times watching this shit heap. It's incredible how they managed to make that setting boring. I watched the OG and Destroyer back to back to wash the taste out the following day. How? How the frick do you make breasts and blood boring?
Rape that b***h, that will teach her a lesson.
Movie is great until it starts the third act. Then it shits the bed unbelievably. It's like it was made by an entirely different group of people.
The princess was hot
>still living with your parents at that age
They told me Cinemaphile was full of normal adults.
your mom knows what is best in life
Rose McGowan was also in this but totally unrecognizable
I think your mom just wanted to share her enthusiasm for Momoa's body of work
Casting 8/10
Costuming and set design 10/10
Script and directing 0/10
Score 0/10
It’s weird—a lot of the elements were there and it might’ve been fine on it’s own but it’s in the shadow of a truly great film and it just felt like I was watching an HBO version of Hercules or Xena.
The script was a horrific mishmash and just rehashed the original which already had nothing to do with REH works.
And it was cheesy to the max which also ruined it.
Such potential wasted with a villain actor as good as stephen lang.
From what I gather this Conan is a lot closer to the actual Conan from the novels, closer than Schwarzenegger's. However, the script is awful.
Will we ever see a King Conan movie?
Soul
YO, LIL CONEY
VOTE FOR BEST!
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I remember a guy's nose getting cut off and him yelling "AHH! MY NOSE!" in a cartoonish fashion. I also remember Conan yelling "AhhhhhhhhFIGHT!" right before a battle scene, but that one I might have misheard because it seems too goofy to be real.
wrong
It's been over 15 years since the Zelda 8.8 controversy and vidya culture is still this immature about review scores.
first half is good then it goes to shit