Reminder that Joan is alive in Heaven as part of the Church Triumphant and she can see you jerking off to her.
Hot
I hate her so much. A schizophrenic propaganda mouthpiece for a fake state that was unjustly and treasonously trying to deprive France from its rightful Kings; a nation of hypocrites and crooks and murderers. Her friend Gilles de Retz was one of the most prolific serial killers in history: he raped, brutally tortured, and murdered 140 children before being executed.
Not a single person in France lifted a finger to stop Guillaume de Normandie from conquering England in the name of 'self determination'. Not a single person in France lifted a finger to stop Étienne de Blois from conquering England in the name of 'self determination'. Not a single person in France lifted a finger to stop Geoffrey 'Plantagenet' d'Anjou from conquering England in the name of 'self determination'.
But suddenly, when their arrogance and greed came back to bite them on the ass and the English inherited the French throne, SUDDENLY, it was all 'self determination' and 'we can't have an English ruler on the French throne!'
FUUUUUCK I'M SO MAD
It's the ultimate fricking disgrace that the Catholic church has SAINTED this chienne. FRICKING CANONIZED HER. Even people in Anglophone countries look up to this French partisan.
Our history has been robbed from us. How many Anglophones who know J*an have even heard of Jane Grey, or could name a single fact about her? Yet Jane Grey was a true Englishwoman, persecuted and killed by Welsh usurpers when even younger than Joan. And unlike Joan, she was incredibly well educated; one of the best-educated women in the world at that time.
Lmao rosbeef keep on seething at based sainte jeanne d'Arc
She’s french, of course she’s not blonde. Japs just think all westerners are either blonde or Black folks.
Something like 33% of my family is blond, my wife and children are blond and blue eyed. We're celto/latino/frankish/vikangz mutts ofc we have some blonds arround here.
Oh hey a version of her where SHE'S NOT FRICKING BLOND! Props for that. Seriously that bugs me like you would not believe anytime they make her blond. We know she wasn't blond. she's one of the most well documented persons not just of her era but in history.
>m-muh accuracy!
History can be both accurate and also fun. Fate never deviates from the sources where it matters, at most genderbending some dudes into waifus and making characters sexier.
>Fate never deviates from the sources where it matters
I don't believe that for a second. Especially since "turning them into anime waifus" is generally a pretty big fricking deviation.
Also some of them existing at all is kind of a big historical deviation. And him being a girl is a big deviation from myth. So either you get to have "Arthur exists because belief in myths made him real" or you get to have "Arthur is actually a girl because the real one was and myths got distorted cause she pretended to be one," but you don't get to have both.
Fate includes mythological figures as well as historical ones, they even have separate categories. And turning King Arthur into a girl doesn't nullify the fact that no one wrote as much modern fiction about him than Nasu (and not just FSN's urban fantasy). Besides, the gender bending is always directly addressed, just in case you're moronic enough to need that clarification.
>where it matters
ATTILA THE HUN WAS NOT AUTISTIC, DID NOT CARRY A RAINBOW SWORD THAT REDIRECTS THE ENERGY BLASTS OF A DIVINE GIANT ROBOT FROM THE DISTANT PAST, AND IS NOT THE LAST SURVIVING REMNANT OF A CIVILISATION-EATING ALIEN SUPERWEAPON THAT WIPED OUT 90% OF ALL LIFE ON EARTH IN THE DISTANT PAST.
UNTIL THE SWORD EXCALIBUR WAS USED TO ONESHOT HER.
I see your weaboo Blackbeard, and raise you one Grand Duchess Anastasia inexplicably having a shadowy spirit-Stand thing to justify her being able to battle with other Servants.
I could be mean and start pulling out Lostbelt Servants to assert just how little Fate gives a shit, but I'll keep those in reserve in case "Fate never deviants from the sources where it matters" anon wants to come back and argue the point.
3 months ago
Anonymous
Do you not know what Viy is? Come on now, it's a great piece of trivia to add to her as a Servant.
3 months ago
Anonymous
I'll tell you what Viy isn't: Anything to do with ANASTASIA'S legend. Might as well have given her the fricking firebird as her Noble Phantasm for how little it has to do with her, historically.
3 months ago
Anonymous
So? It's Russian folklore that not many people are aware of, a neat thing to include with one of the very few Russian servants. I don't see an issue here. It's not like her biography says that she wrote the story or anything.
3 months ago
Anonymous
My issue is you're moving the goalposts, twat.
>m-muh accuracy!
History can be both accurate and also fun. Fate never deviates from the sources where it matters, at most genderbending some dudes into waifus and making characters sexier.
>History can be both accurate and also fun. Fate never deviates from the sources where it matters, at most genderbending some dudes into waifus and making characters sexier. >"N-no! I-i-it's okay to j-just sprinkle little bits of lore even if they have n-nothing to do with the s-subject matter?"
Fantastic, I suppose it's okay to fit a Japanese teamaker into the Berserker class caste or associate Paul Bunyan with a joke character who tried to summon Servants using pot noodles and none of his surrounding folklore.
3 months ago
Anonymous
I'm not moving anything. Viy's description in FGO is fairly accurate, and so is Anastasia's. They've been put together - so be it. It's more fun that way. Minamoto-no-Raikou and Ushi Gozen weren't the same person either, it was just a fun way to introduce that myth.
3 months ago
Anonymous
>It's more fun that way
But it's not historically accurate anymore than Attila the Hun being an alien superweapon is, you moron. It would be like giving Eric Bloodaxe the blessing of Jord even though there is no evidence in Eric's legends about being blessed by a particular Norse god.
3 months ago
Anonymous
It's accurate enough. Fate doesn't claim to be a textbook, but it's a really good introduction to both history and mythology. Without it, people simply wouldn't know who Lakshmi Bai was, and how one novel described her as "the Jeanne D’Arc of India". Hell, they wouldn't even know who Attila the Hun is, with or without the alien lore of Altera (which is a separate thing, by the way, FGO doesn't even mention Altera's Extra lore).
A study was even conducted in Japan, the result being that students who played FGO did better on the history exams (with historical figures in particular) than those who didn't. Regardless of what you might think, real people are not moronic enough to think that Attila might've been a space alien lady. But FGO does tell them who Attila actually was, and the colorful character makes them memorize it. It's a net positive.
3 months ago
Anonymous
Personally, Strange Fake got me obsessed with Richard the Lionheart
I learned far too much about the man
Said novel is also how I found out that Dumas was a good cook and even wrote a cookbook he considered his Magnum Opus
what is the problem? I don't see anything strange for you to say this.
3 months ago
Anonymous
It's a bit of a bad example picture, but Fate Blackbeard is a NEET shut-in otaku who's admittedly hiding his power level, but he's still a fricking loser.
I like the headcanon that his goal is to instill fear, and lighting a few matches in his beard and hair won't do the trick in modern times. So he goes full weeb to disgust people, which "scares" them when he goes to fight them
The real degenerate shit is that he's low-tier when Drake is a 4-5 stars. Ask anyone on the planet who they'd recognize more, between Blackbeard and Drake, and 99% would say the former. HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN FOUR STARS AT LEAST!
FGO's nonsense is questionable but the anime adaptations are pretty good. Historical accuracy shouldn't be much of a concern when watching Fate. It has never presented itself as being so. Just roll with it since even if they did bother to resemble the figures more they would still be different.
Most of Fate is good, that's why it's still more popular than other waifu-based series.
Only Apocrypha is down right bad. Most of the criticisms of Fate start from there.
3 months ago
Anonymous
Unironically outside of a few specific cases where they usually specified, it used to be better. It went from "Most accurate Arthurian myth depiction in centuries other than Mordred and Arthur being girls" which at least added an interesting angle to things [since suddenly Morgan's claim is a lot stronger] to like 40 layers of retcons that get increasingly moronic.
Also Apocrypha was mid with a poor understanding of how to use its protagonist or explain its point [it's slightly better at the latter in the original but still bad at it] so they just had him do nothing until he suddenly does everything, but it's not no where near the worst of Fate content even if we exclude individual lost belts from FGO from the mess. Last Encore and like 90% of post-Extra Extra-related content exists for frick's sake.
> Fate never deviates from the sources where it matters
A HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA HAH AH
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA HA
AHAHHAHA HA
A HAHAH HA
µAH AH
HA HAH AH HA
A HAH HAHAAHAHAHAH
Fate turned Notable Blond Twink Alexander the Great into a redheaded muscle-mountain resembling Ganondorf.
It also turned Notable Muscle-Mountain Gilgamesh into a blond twink.
Fate loves subverting popular expectations of historical figures. Like Napoleon being a tall, buff, positive, cannoneer, instead of a short, grumpy, army commander.
3 months ago
Anonymous
Stupid sexy napeleon
3 months ago
Anonymous
They originally had some excuse for, servants didn't resemble their historical appearance due to a combination of people's perception of them and changes to keep their identity hidden, which FGO pretty much dropped. It's why Cu isn't a weird monster man in the original Fate.
He also had a Noble Phantasm based on the loyalty he inspired on his men
Which is like Napoleon having a NP based on winning Winter campaigns
3 months ago
Anonymous
They had fought for years and pushed as far as India, while he lived they accepted his attempts to fuse Persian/Macedon culture by marrying Persian women, that's incredible loyalty among his men.
>where it matters
where does it "matter", fategay ? can't be the characterization, because fate characters get turned into 2 dimensional anime archetypes that don't ressemble their inspiration at all or even have the same central conflict 80% of the time
can't be their lived history, because fate usually changes that completely to make it fit in their absurd magical realm
can't be their looks, because they consistently and almost deliberately make them look like the opposite of what you'd expect
can't be their view of the world, cause lolgrail makes them learn modern lingo and turn them into otakus for some stupid reason
so what the frick is it again if it's not any of that ?
I'll tell you what it is, it's vacuous signifiers and trivia, associated names (that also don't ever ressemble their inspiration at all) to give the semblance of accuracy to something that is basically a dumbed down, hollow shell made to appeal to morons that just skim wikipedia
frick you
>m-muh accuracy!
History can be both accurate and also fun. Fate never deviates from the sources where it matters, at most genderbending some dudes into waifus and making characters sexier.
We do know she's not blond, but only from a single piece of physical evidence, one of her hairs preserved in a wax seal. Her hair colour can't actually be nailed down from contemporary accounts alone.
While I get the joke of her being insecure about not being able to hear the voice of God, I can't help but think if it would have been funnier to go the opposite direction and her constantly pestered by the voice of God. Just continually getting bad advice and telling her 'dad' to shut up.
I hate her so much. A schizophrenic propaganda mouthpiece for a fake state that was unjustly and treasonously trying to deprive France from its rightful Kings; a nation of hypocrites and crooks and murderers. Her friend Gilles de Retz was one of the most prolific serial killers in history: he raped, brutally tortured, and murdered 140 children before being executed.
Not a single person in France lifted a finger to stop Guillaume de Normandie from conquering England in the name of 'self determination'. Not a single person in France lifted a finger to stop Étienne de Blois from conquering England in the name of 'self determination'. Not a single person in France lifted a finger to stop Geoffrey 'Plantagenet' d'Anjou from conquering England in the name of 'self determination'.
But suddenly, when their arrogance and greed came back to bite them on the ass and the English inherited the French throne, SUDDENLY, it was all 'self determination' and 'we can't have an English ruler on the French throne!'
FUUUUUCK I'M SO MAD
It's the ultimate fricking disgrace that the Catholic church has SAINTED this chienne. FRICKING CANONIZED HER. Even people in Anglophone countries look up to this French partisan.
Our history has been robbed from us. How many Anglophones who know J*an have even heard of Jane Grey, or could name a single fact about her? Yet Jane Grey was a true Englishwoman, persecuted and killed by Welsh usurpers when even younger than Joan. And unlike Joan, she was incredibly well educated; one of the best-educated women in the world at that time.
>poor >mentally ill >illiterate >virgin >hated the british >hated prostitutes >LARPed as le based warrior
she really was /ourgirl/ frick the french for letting her die
>There's a french cartoons thread >There isn't a british cartoons thread
Cinemaphile is a french board. Get over it Brit.
She’s french, of course she’s not blonde. Japs just think all westerners are either blonde or Black folks.
There are plenty of blondes in France. It's just that Joan wasn't one of them.
The Japs just have some weird fixation on blondes. I supposed because it's seen as exotic over there.
in a world of black and brown, a hair that literally glistens as gold is pretty interesting. I dont mind black hair personally, but everyone loves gold
I don't care about your actual post, but it made me realise just how much wasted potential it is that there wasn't a bong equivalent to joan leading the british. Yes, there are national heroine equivalents in other time periods, but I mean specifically two of them in rivaling countries under the circumstances of the hundred year war.
Imagine two smug schizoid 15yo brats constantly 1upping each other to win a war, each of them fully claiming to be on a direct mission from god. Imagine how heated the arguments between their fans would be even to this day. As it stands, the brits got no smug brat, and everybody just talks about joan.
>Cucked men >Cucked women >Cucked God >Cucked France's legal system twice >Happily married to Beta mild nobility
All before she became middle aged in her mid 20's
The dyke, she's had confirmed kills in 1v1 duels multiple times while Joan says in court she preferred her banner over her sword and never killed anyone herself.
For what its worth, Edward the Black Prince and Henry V both started their military careers at 16ish, with Eddy leading at the Battle of Crecy at that age. Quite a bit before Joan, unfortunately
God didn’t make a bong Joan because he knew the sight of two underage femcels fighting each other would either kickstart feminism or waifuism and the world wasn’t ready for that level of cringe yet
Wouldn't work, because it would necessitate an english girl being simultaneously beautiful and virtuous and such a thing is simply not possible in tandem in the british woman, let alone individually.
>We don't live in a timeline in which Jeanne d'Arc humiliates her British rival in a battle and tells him to 'run home, little boy, before I break my sword upon your backside too.'
Darkest timeline.
>but it made me realise just how much wasted potential it is that there wasn't a bong equivalent to joan leading the british.
Boudicca.
She has been abused by progressive movements for decades to say womyn stronk despite being a massive failure. And as a soft/"civic" nationalist for longer- >two smug schizoid 14yo brats
Oh I see, this is a schizoid thread. Joan is a shitter waifu than most.
Everyone who ever met her: >Joan is intelligent, impressive, and extremely charismatic
Anglo Cinemaphileners six centuries later: >ur waifu a shit
Who to trust
>Boudica
If I wanted her brought up, I wouldn't have specified >Yes, there are national heroine equivalents in other time periods, but I mean specifically two of them in rivaling countries under the circumstances of the hundred year war.
They deny her hearing the voice of God because otherwise that would mean He supports the French over them, so they call her a glorified cheerleader, only to seethe more when they realize they are admitting that this cheerleader beat them.
You typ like unto a perfidiouſ Burgundian, wanting in goodly witt but rich in madde
>Yet Jane Grey was a true Englishwoman, persecuted and killed by Welsh usurpers when even younger than Joan.
The Lady Grey claimed right to rule via Mary Tudor, fifth daughter of actual Welsh Henry VII. She was I think blameless in what happened to her and deserves sympathy, but she was a pawn in courtly games and her backers lost.
>m-muh accuracy!
History can be both accurate and also fun. Fate never deviates from the sources where it matters, at most genderbending some dudes into waifus and making characters sexier.
arthur will return and anglos will finally be extinguished,british isles to the bretonic people.
It's a good thing the English lost if you like... English. If they had won, the English nobility might have remained french and thus we all speak french now
The actual """reason""" was that the court made her swear that she couldn't wear men's clothing, then refused to give her women's clothing, and used that as proof she had broken her vows.
She was a teenage girl wearing a suit of armor and brandishing a sword while screaming very angry to kill them. That alone would've been a turn-on to your average French knight regardless of how she looked.
>schizophrenic
Reminder that none of her visions are actually consistent with schizophrenia or any other brain problems so the logical conclusion is that she actually was ordained by God to drive the English out of France.
More realistically she lived in an area that was subject to repeated English raids and attacks and developed a hatred of them and that combined with her pious nature made her believe she was given a divine mission since everyone at the time was religious. No schizophrenia or brain problems required, just hatred and vengeance.
>Imagine getting so mad because your french king lost to the actual french king.
If England had won the 100 years war, english as a language and culture would have been erradicated by the central government like every single local french dialect and identity. Be thankful that they just kicked your ass instead of seething for no reason. You became an actual country because of it instead of a glorified french colony
>Her friend Gilles de Retz was one of the most prolific serial killers in history: he raped, brutally tortured, and murdered 140 children before being executed.
I don't remember where I read/heard this, but apparently some people think it was just a kangaroo court to oust someone the people in charge didn't like.
Not, like, the didn't have enough evidence for a modern court, but they didn't have enough evidence for a court of their era.
Some people believe the accusations against blue beard were false, with the only goal to frick him into either exile or death penalty (probably for his properties, money or something like that). More than anything it's the idea that if he really raped, slaughtered and killed (not necessarily in that order) as many toddlers as he supposedly did, people are questioning the logistics of the whole matter. Kidnapping, storing and disposing of that many kids with so little to show for it archeologically is what was found weird.
>Also something something age of consent was different then
Not really; you're thinking of child BETROTHALS, back when marriage was basically a contract between two families to make sure they didn't kill each other. And you know what'll frick things up? The wife and/or heir dying in childbirth.
So, while people were engaged to be married, they'd wait until the woman was old enough to have safe childbirth (which is a more recent thing than you'd think, medically speaking). The reason people back then had so many kids was because life expectancy was fricking brutal. War, disease, famine - that shit WOULD kill you.
>poor >mentally ill >illiterate >virgin >hated the british >hated prostitutes >LARPed as le based warrior
she really was /ourgirl/ frick the french for letting her die
Joan already was making plans to send an army into the Holy Roman Empire to fight the Hussite heretics. She had a letter written to them to convert or she'd come their and kill them once she finished with the English.
Joan likely would have stayed a voluntary celibate soldier of God, joining wherever a holy war was fought.
It wasn't really though, it was basically a margin doodle by a guy who never met her, the sources from her actual men should be enough. Jean was a short olive skinned brunette with nice sturdy legs and a great wrack
Don't forget a finely sculpted ass, 10/10 face, DSLs, eyes you could drown in, and she smelled of cinnamon and cardamom.
What are your sources?
3 months ago
Anonymous
The French hon hon.
3 months ago
Anonymous
>So Joan chased all those women out of the camp, shouting threats a walloping them with the flat of her sword
She broke a holy sword doing this.
3 months ago
Anonymous
how do you break a sword on somebodies ass?
3 months ago
Anonymous
if you hit wrong with the flat side the weight of the blade will bend it out of shape.
3 months ago
Anonymous
>a prostitute’s ass is stronger than the wrath of god
Poetry
3 months ago
Anonymous
Don't forget a finely sculpted ass, 10/10 face, DSLs, eyes you could drown in, and she smelled of cinnamon and cardamom.
The archangel Michael revealed all of it to me as I prayed beside a beech tree.
3 months ago
Anonymous
Not him, but the large breasts report I know for a fact came from one of her retainers and the transcript can be found describing her as shapely before court, at the very least
There's an event chain in the sons of Abraham dlc that spawns her. You can seduce her if your king is lustful and/or cynical. But you have like a 5% chance unless you tinker with files
I feel dirty knowing how to accomplish that by heart.
>Get a Joan of Arc OC event by losing a war >She always is celibate so you have to use the seduction focus and be a Master Seducer that lets you alway pass seduction check >Joan OC loses celibate and can be married now
Nobody really cares about the French empire while English became the closest thing to a universal language because of the BE’s influence. Unfortunately that’s working to our detriment these days, but I have faith there’ll be an upheaval in the next decade or so.
>France is doing great in comparison.
Both countries are falling apart.
Britain has bee going through an Orwellian phase since the 1980's and France keeps threatening to have another civil war every 3 weeks.
And both inch closer to full on race war daily.
>NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THE ANIMATION/MUSIC >NOT EVEN A LINK
Cmon
What you thought of it? I want the 2 last images as a wallpaper.Gives the vibe that she went to Heaven to kill the english for eternity.
Anyway, what is your favorite Paco&Rodri clip?
I think the nrse gods have the coolest clips (and they form a storyline), the greek gods have the catchiest songs and the veeery old fairy tales ones are the funniest (give me a Weird AI vibe).
>Anyway, what is your favorite Paco&Rodri clip?
Big fan of the the Goddess Isis one(hoping to see Nephthys get a good one too).
Most relistened ones might be either Gilgamesh or Ares out of the mythological ones, but Bluebeard/Barba Azul or Blancanieves Rusa(Russian Snow White) wins out overall.
The one about Odin is hype as frick, might be their best.
Before watching their videos I always pictured Osiris as a woobie whose major story is just being killed, but their characterization of him as a major chad now stuck with me
Before watching their videos I always pictured Osiris as a woobie whose major story is just being killed, but their characterization of him as a major chad now stuck with me
>The womanlet married her giant brickhouse of a brother and then fricked her chad brother too
>Anyway, what is your favorite Paco&Rodri clip?
Big fan of the the Goddess Isis one(hoping to see Nephthys get a good one too).
Most relistened ones might be either Gilgamesh or Ares out of the mythological ones, but Bluebeard/Barba Azul or Blancanieves Rusa(Russian Snow White) wins out overall.
[...]
Odin one is fantastic.
I hope they make a Set song next. I really like his design and having a "villain" song would be great.
God I love her so much. More than Giles, more than that noble who gave her a horse immediately after seeing her, more than that squire who said she had nice boobs
Claudia Octavia triggers my savior complex something fierce and I've off and on entertained the idea of doing a highly dramatized story focused on her life mainly and the other Claudias that were around Nero: her half-sister Claudia Antonia and the freedwoman Claudia Acte. But I also have no confidence in my writing ability.
Joan's British equivalent was Edward the Black Prince who was her complete opposite >British to her French >Royalty to her commoner >From the start of the Hundred Years War to her nearing the end >Sided with the commoners over the nobles during a dispute. While Jeanne sided with the nobles. >Jeanne died being burned in fire while he died from dysentery (so basically dehydration.) and water loss. >Jeanne never got to see the end of the war, while he got to see a temporary peace (an assumed end) because he helped negotiate it.
You forgot >Black Prince: Notorious chevauchée who sacked villages having brutal murders, rapes and pillaging to demoralize the French. >Joan: Under oath during her trial that she never killed anyone personally with her sword and preferred her banner
There's a reason when they made a Dynasty Warriors Spin-off about the Hundred Years War the two were the main representative commanders in the first game.
> they made a Dynasty Warriors Spin-off about the Hundred Years War
The what?
My favorite part is when they explain the joke because I'm dumb.
What's weirder is that they do the exact same joke again later in the movie, but then don't explain it. Kahmunrah Rises Again really is blatantly just four episodes of the canceled cartoon series strung together.
Yeah the game map was huge and semi persistent and instead of just a weapon you controlled an entire formation of soldiers as a mercenary. After awhile into the campaign you'd get an offer from the Black Prince and Jeanne D'Arc to join one side permanently. If you pick England Edward gives you Excalibur and when you inevitably don't do that Jeanne presents you with Durandal and calls you one of the people closest to her and you get to save her from her execution and ride the man responsible for it down like a dog.
The sequel sees the war interrupted by basically the Dragon from Revelations showing up to unleash legions of monsters on the world and destroy both armies and kidnap Jeanne, with a chance that all of the commanders on both sides present other than the Black Prince, yourself, and a mercenary friend of yours can actually fricking die in the battle and just be gone from the game for the rest of the campaign. Which if you just played the first one La Hire and co dying after you've been broing it up because you were too slow actually kinda fricking hurts.
Bladestorm: The Hundred Years War and Bladestorm:Nightmare's controls were kinda weird but it fricking ruled and is to this day still very arguably the best of all Dynasty Warriors games.
>England has more churches devoted to Jeanne than France does.
WHAT?
YOU'RE JOKING! WHY HAVENT I SEEN THEM.
TELL ME WHERE THE TOMBOY CHURCES ARE! I NEED TO KNOW!
She really, REALLY liked artillery. Had the most cannons under her command out of any French leader of the war, and she knew damn well how to use them. I wouldn't be surprised if she could eyeball trajectories on incoming fire.
For added trivia, IIRC she never actually used her sword except to chase prostitutes out of her war camps, so yes she basically beat the frick out of the entirety of England more or less unarmed.
bro they ditched her like a hot potato the second she failed at paris, then they let her do what ammounted to a suicide charge against a burgundy siege with 200 only men.
she was a nice girl, but she wasn't some sort of prodigy.
You don't appear to know the definition of prodigy.
3 months ago
Anonymous
He's not wrong. Some revisionists say that Orleans would have been a French victory regardless of her being present. She failed plenty of times and was a liability to the crown in being so aggressive that it was becoming detrimental to the overall strategy. Tactically she had clear talent though boisterous is might have been but her zealotry (which is one of her biggest charms and biggest strengths as a person) became her greatest thorn at her side
3 months ago
Anonymous
You don't appear to know the definition of prodigy either.
That's how it goes. If there was somehow a thread about automobiles there or some other subject that doesn't belong there, I guarantee it would be a good thread simply because it is off topic.
Also Gilles de Rais was framed by rivals and people who wanted his land. His "confession" was obtained under torture and there's never been even a shred of forensic evidence found for all of the supposed murders. Same deal as Elizabeth Bathory who was targeted by her family's rivals and Emperor Matthias II who owed a large debt to her family.
>Same deal as Elizabeth Bathory who was targeted by her family's rivals and Emperor Matthias II who owed a large debt to her family.
That's right!
Liz Love!
Gilles even refused to admit guilt until they threatened him with excommunication, so the devil worshipping claims are also ludicrous. Why would someone who sold his soul to the devil still care about that?
No she was planning on joining the crusade against the Hussite heretics in Germany. She had someone write to them demanding their conversion and everything.
My favorite Jeanne fact is how when the king asked what boon she wanted for all her help getting him crowned, all she asked was for her hometown to be exempt from paying taxes forever cause its hard on the farmers.
What is more amazing is how the king and all his descendants kept to that promise for hundreds of years until the Revolution, who then forced the town to start paying taxes again.
I hate how Jeanne d'Arc became "Joan of Arc" in English. How the frick did that even happen? No one calls Leonardo da Vinci "Leon of Vinci", or some shit like that.
That would've been better design imo, but since Artoria Alter came first so they had the idea matched her color scheme instead.
Now thinking about it, it would've been really clever if the Alters were just slightly more historically accurate versions of the Fate version, like with accurate hair color and clothing. Shame it wasn't.
It's from Destripando La Historia, youtube link was posted here:
>NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THE ANIMATION/MUSIC >NOT EVEN A LINK
Cmon
What you thought of it? I want the 2 last images as a wallpaper.Gives the vibe that she went to Heaven to kill the english for eternity.
Anyway, what is your favorite Paco&Rodri clip?
I think the nrse gods have the coolest clips (and they form a storyline), the greek gods have the catchiest songs and the veeery old fairy tales ones are the funniest (give me a Weird AI vibe).
I remember one time I said I found cartoon Mary cute in a Mandela Catalogue thread and experienced horribly realistic nightmares for the next 2 nights.
And i'm supposed to believe these are some sort of punishment? When tons of people get cancer every year? Not to mention the train track nail sounds like a cool story for later, the dude's an edgelord after all.
I feel like if someone tried to make an accurate adaptation of her story in this day and age both sides would hate it.
The right would call it woke and call her a strong independent woman who don’t need no man
And the left would hate her piety, nationalism and desire to become a tradwife someday
There’s just no winning.
your lame horseshoe theory discounts one half of that spectrum actually absorbs media, and the other just gripes about it for idpol reasons
leftists belong in death camps
>The right would call it woke and call her a strong independent woman who don’t need no man
Leftists literally would not get it, they'd try to remove any mention of God in her story. This would be stupid since everything she does is for god but there is no doubt Hollywood would try to lesson God's impact on her story as much as possible in the same way they've tried to remove Christ from Christmas
Joan isn't prideful and stuck up. There's no backdrop of smugness when she's fighting because she is doing it for God. When she chases off prostitutes it's not because she hates seeing men be happy. Its because she knows the men can be better.
Joan is the only woman men would die for and not want to frick.
>footgay
I catch 'em when I can and I want another datum: if you had to pick just one answer, even if both are true to some extent, do you find the concept of feet psychologically erotic or do you find physical stimulation of the feet physically arousing, e.g. a foot massage vs. a back massage?
>Denied to use her artillery against Jan Žižka and his terifying state-of-the-art Wagenburg tactics. >Denied teaming up with Vlad II Dracul and young Vlad the Impaler to kick the Ottomans back to the other side of the Bosphorus. >Denied her deliverance of the Byzantine Empire. >Denied to grow older and aid the Catholic Monarchs to end the Emirate of Granada and maybe talk with Christopher Columbus. >Denied to retire and die of old age.
Why am I supposed to like the anglos again?
While that would be based, would haughty German nobles bother to listen to a French peasant that the best method to destroy Hussite war wagons was to bombard then with dishonorable cannons?
Also Joan would HATE that the Catholic league ends up teaming up with the moderate Hussites to destroy the radical branch in exchange for the Church acknowledging the moderate branch as a legit rite with that is allowed to drink the Blood of Christ.
It's aight. I'm more of a history boomer but I loved playing as her in TW2. Wish TW3 was complete so I can conquer the world as her and for her to reign as immortal empress. It's weird that a game with giant dinosaurs and zombies and and rats with nukes and steam tanks etc. my favorite faction is the relatively uncrazy group of knights
I liked Milla's performance as her though her movie shits on her through strawmanning
Like Dustin Hoffman tears her story apart as confirmation bias but it only happened that way in the movie
I forgot this was Cinemaphile while reading through the thread. There are far more inspiring woman in history then some french girl who made France win a war it was guaranteed to win anyway.
Being fair she fricked up the Romans enough that the generals went ape shit and when Nero found out he had the generals responsible tortured and executed for what they did to her and her daughters. Even at the time people simped pretty fricking hard for her and thought she was amazing.
The real question is why is anglogay bringing her up when they're almost entirely unrelated to the Iceni.
>Being fair she fricked up
bro she suicided her entire army against a roman legion 10 times smaller because she didn't know anything about war beyond "berserker charge"
Before that, the Iceni had the war essentially won. No reinforcements were comic and no defenses could be set.
>Being fair she fricked up the Romans enough
She didn't, she massacred a few barely occupied/defended garrisons and then the second she and her people encountered a half-competent Roman army they got annihilated.
>went ape shit
Romans tended to do that when dealing with rebellions, yeah. Spartacus' rebellion led to thousands of men being crucified along the Appian Way which pretty much put an end to slave revolts.
>made France win a war it was guaranteed to win anyway
The Hundred Years War being a famously quick and simple affair and morale being such an insignificant factor in pre-industrial warfare.
>France wins 100 years war >gets to control all its mainland bits and has nothing stopping further conquest >Frace loses 100 years war >gets to control all its mainland bits and has nothing stopping further conquest and the british cease existing as a people and now are just french, Irish famine never happens
A reverse trap would be like those pirates or soldiers during the 18th or 19th centuries that served on ships or in armies pretending to be men for a variety of reasons (mental illness, the urge to leave shit homes or to fight alongside their spouse etc.) Jeanne wouldn't be considered one.
>A reverse trap would be like those pirates or soldiers during the 18th or 19th centuries that served on ships or in armies pretending to be men
one of those to not be raped
the easiest answer
I don't know much about female sailors. Read and Bonny were the most famous ones and their pirate careers are more of a novelty instead of something comparable to Blackbeard or Roberts or any of the other famous pirates around the time. Female soldiers were around for quite a while. I don't know much about this subject outside of the American Civil War but I do remember hearing this Swedish woman who served in the Swedish army and eventually married another woman or something. Or maybe it's just the alphabet people embellishing history. As for the American Civil War, my favorite story would be of a private constantly going to to their commander's tent at camp. Then some months later that private starts to develop a traditionally unmanly bump in their belly.
Reminder that Jeanne was not a warrior and never participated in any battle. She was a cumrag, basically, used by soldiers to boost their morale by gangbanging her
Of course she wasn't a warrior. That doesn't mean she wasn't brave. She was on the front lines and got shot twice by crossbow bolts. And she died a virgin in all three holes.
A bannerman was a honorable position to hold, not to mention dangerous since you had to depend on your allies while you held the flag to rally behind. She also got close enough to get injured multiple times. She had more bravery than you'd ever have in your whole life. Keep seething.
They have done historical figures before like Anastasia
Pesonally, I would go for historical figures featured so much on fiction it's easy to forget they actually existed like El Cid, Cleopatra, Julius Caesar or Blackbeard
Also since they began with stories overshadowed by adaptations one about the real crap Alexander Hamilton did parodying Miranda's style would be quite funny
Destripando la Historia a Spanish YouTube animated music series that tells, through songs, the true stories of tales everybody knows better from their adaptations. They started with fairy tales, with also some myths like Hercules and Thor, the origins of holidays like Halloween or Christmas (the origin of Valentine's Day was their first song), real life people with non accurate animated movies based on them (Pocahontas and Anastasia) and even the original stories of comic book characters like Iron Man or Thanos. Then, they made one about the real myths of Zeus and was followed by songs about the rest of his siblings and they focused on songs based on various myths (Greek, Norse and Egyptian mainly but they have dealt with other myths like Sun Wukong or Gilgamesh). Their last song was about Jeanne of Arc implying that they are going to return to more varied topics again.
Also their quality got such a glow up, they started with chalkboard drawings, later went to digital illustrations, they started putting more little animations and since some years they went full animated. They have got pretty popular in Spain and Spanish speaking countries in general (They are quite popular in Mexico apparently) and have official merch (including books that either expand the stories of their songs or tell about other ones that still have no song) and do live concerts.
There's a YouTube channel that makes English subtitles of their vids if you are interested: Unravelling Subs
>asked the priest to hold up a crucifix while on the stake so the last thing she'd see would be the Lord >the executioner was afraid that he would be damned to Hell for killing a holy woman >they had to burn her body at least twice, because her pure heart was untouched by the flames according to the executioner
Jeanne was too pure for this world even in death.
Her fetish is murder OP
We have so much in common.
She'll enjoy murdering all my sperm all over her face
No, her fetish is cannons explosions.
Do they make her vegana tingle?
Mine too
A shame she'll never know the joy of modern artillery.
She is the Patron Saint of Balistics.
I thought that was Saint Barbara, the e-girl saint.
>Her fetish is murder
Murdering the english, which is something we share.
She is the perfect woman for sure
Hot
Lmao rosbeef keep on seething at based sainte jeanne d'Arc
Something like 33% of my family is blond, my wife and children are blond and blue eyed. We're celto/latino/frankish/vikangz mutts ofc we have some blonds arround here.
Oh hey a version of her where SHE'S NOT FRICKING BLOND! Props for that. Seriously that bugs me like you would not believe anytime they make her blond. We know she wasn't blond. she's one of the most well documented persons not just of her era but in history.
She’s french, of course she’s not blonde. Japs just think all westerners are either blonde or Black folks.
Blonde Jeanne is the best though.
>Fate shit
Bite on a sidewalk.
>m-muh accuracy!
History can be both accurate and also fun. Fate never deviates from the sources where it matters, at most genderbending some dudes into waifus and making characters sexier.
>Fate never deviates from the sources where it matters
I don't believe that for a second. Especially since "turning them into anime waifus" is generally a pretty big fricking deviation.
Also some of them existing at all is kind of a big historical deviation. And him being a girl is a big deviation from myth. So either you get to have "Arthur exists because belief in myths made him real" or you get to have "Arthur is actually a girl because the real one was and myths got distorted cause she pretended to be one," but you don't get to have both.
Fate includes mythological figures as well as historical ones, they even have separate categories. And turning King Arthur into a girl doesn't nullify the fact that no one wrote as much modern fiction about him than Nasu (and not just FSN's urban fantasy). Besides, the gender bending is always directly addressed, just in case you're moronic enough to need that clarification.
fate is still shit.
>where it matters
ATTILA THE HUN WAS NOT AUTISTIC, DID NOT CARRY A RAINBOW SWORD THAT REDIRECTS THE ENERGY BLASTS OF A DIVINE GIANT ROBOT FROM THE DISTANT PAST, AND IS NOT THE LAST SURVIVING REMNANT OF A CIVILISATION-EATING ALIEN SUPERWEAPON THAT WIPED OUT 90% OF ALL LIFE ON EARTH IN THE DISTANT PAST.
UNTIL THE SWORD EXCALIBUR WAS USED TO ONESHOT HER.
Any source for those outrageous claims?
if you have none then Attila WAS a cute autistic girl
You look my boy Blackbeard in the eyes and repeat that.
I see your weaboo Blackbeard, and raise you one Grand Duchess Anastasia inexplicably having a shadowy spirit-Stand thing to justify her being able to battle with other Servants.
I could be mean and start pulling out Lostbelt Servants to assert just how little Fate gives a shit, but I'll keep those in reserve in case "Fate never deviants from the sources where it matters" anon wants to come back and argue the point.
Do you not know what Viy is? Come on now, it's a great piece of trivia to add to her as a Servant.
I'll tell you what Viy isn't: Anything to do with ANASTASIA'S legend. Might as well have given her the fricking firebird as her Noble Phantasm for how little it has to do with her, historically.
So? It's Russian folklore that not many people are aware of, a neat thing to include with one of the very few Russian servants. I don't see an issue here. It's not like her biography says that she wrote the story or anything.
My issue is you're moving the goalposts, twat.
>History can be both accurate and also fun. Fate never deviates from the sources where it matters, at most genderbending some dudes into waifus and making characters sexier.
>"N-no! I-i-it's okay to j-just sprinkle little bits of lore even if they have n-nothing to do with the s-subject matter?"
Fantastic, I suppose it's okay to fit a Japanese teamaker into the Berserker class caste or associate Paul Bunyan with a joke character who tried to summon Servants using pot noodles and none of his surrounding folklore.
I'm not moving anything. Viy's description in FGO is fairly accurate, and so is Anastasia's. They've been put together - so be it. It's more fun that way. Minamoto-no-Raikou and Ushi Gozen weren't the same person either, it was just a fun way to introduce that myth.
>It's more fun that way
But it's not historically accurate anymore than Attila the Hun being an alien superweapon is, you moron. It would be like giving Eric Bloodaxe the blessing of Jord even though there is no evidence in Eric's legends about being blessed by a particular Norse god.
It's accurate enough. Fate doesn't claim to be a textbook, but it's a really good introduction to both history and mythology. Without it, people simply wouldn't know who Lakshmi Bai was, and how one novel described her as "the Jeanne D’Arc of India". Hell, they wouldn't even know who Attila the Hun is, with or without the alien lore of Altera (which is a separate thing, by the way, FGO doesn't even mention Altera's Extra lore).
A study was even conducted in Japan, the result being that students who played FGO did better on the history exams (with historical figures in particular) than those who didn't. Regardless of what you might think, real people are not moronic enough to think that Attila might've been a space alien lady. But FGO does tell them who Attila actually was, and the colorful character makes them memorize it. It's a net positive.
Personally, Strange Fake got me obsessed with Richard the Lionheart
I learned far too much about the man
Said novel is also how I found out that Dumas was a good cook and even wrote a cookbook he considered his Magnum Opus
He makes One Piece Blackbeard look accurate.
what is the problem? I don't see anything strange for you to say this.
It's a bit of a bad example picture, but Fate Blackbeard is a NEET shut-in otaku who's admittedly hiding his power level, but he's still a fricking loser.
>broke-oro my fragile kokoro
I like the headcanon that his goal is to instill fear, and lighting a few matches in his beard and hair won't do the trick in modern times. So he goes full weeb to disgust people, which "scares" them when he goes to fight them
The real degenerate shit is that he's low-tier when Drake is a 4-5 stars. Ask anyone on the planet who they'd recognize more, between Blackbeard and Drake, and 99% would say the former. HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN FOUR STARS AT LEAST!
This only applies to early Fate. FGO ruined the franchise, frick off.
FGO's nonsense is questionable but the anime adaptations are pretty good. Historical accuracy shouldn't be much of a concern when watching Fate. It has never presented itself as being so. Just roll with it since even if they did bother to resemble the figures more they would still be different.
Most of Fate is good, that's why it's still more popular than other waifu-based series.
Only Apocrypha is down right bad. Most of the criticisms of Fate start from there.
Unironically outside of a few specific cases where they usually specified, it used to be better. It went from "Most accurate Arthurian myth depiction in centuries other than Mordred and Arthur being girls" which at least added an interesting angle to things [since suddenly Morgan's claim is a lot stronger] to like 40 layers of retcons that get increasingly moronic.
Also Apocrypha was mid with a poor understanding of how to use its protagonist or explain its point [it's slightly better at the latter in the original but still bad at it] so they just had him do nothing until he suddenly does everything, but it's not no where near the worst of Fate content even if we exclude individual lost belts from FGO from the mess. Last Encore and like 90% of post-Extra Extra-related content exists for frick's sake.
> Fate never deviates from the sources where it matters
A HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA HAH AH
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA HA
AHAHHAHA HA
A HAHAH HA
µAH AH
HA HAH AH HA
A HAH HAHAAHAHAHAH
Fate turned Notable Blond Twink Alexander the Great into a redheaded muscle-mountain resembling Ganondorf.
It also turned Notable Muscle-Mountain Gilgamesh into a blond twink.
Fate loves subverting popular expectations of historical figures. Like Napoleon being a tall, buff, positive, cannoneer, instead of a short, grumpy, army commander.
Stupid sexy napeleon
They originally had some excuse for, servants didn't resemble their historical appearance due to a combination of people's perception of them and changes to keep their identity hidden, which FGO pretty much dropped. It's why Cu isn't a weird monster man in the original Fate.
He also had a Noble Phantasm based on the loyalty he inspired on his men
Which is like Napoleon having a NP based on winning Winter campaigns
They had fought for years and pushed as far as India, while he lived they accepted his attempts to fuse Persian/Macedon culture by marrying Persian women, that's incredible loyalty among his men.
They tried to address the twink Alexander thing by giving him a body double with a closer body type, though female
>where it matters
where does it "matter", fategay ? can't be the characterization, because fate characters get turned into 2 dimensional anime archetypes that don't ressemble their inspiration at all or even have the same central conflict 80% of the time
can't be their lived history, because fate usually changes that completely to make it fit in their absurd magical realm
can't be their looks, because they consistently and almost deliberately make them look like the opposite of what you'd expect
can't be their view of the world, cause lolgrail makes them learn modern lingo and turn them into otakus for some stupid reason
so what the frick is it again if it's not any of that ?
I'll tell you what it is, it's vacuous signifiers and trivia, associated names (that also don't ever ressemble their inspiration at all) to give the semblance of accuracy to something that is basically a dumbed down, hollow shell made to appeal to morons that just skim wikipedia
frick you
>clearly knows nothing about the franchise
>still seethes like his life depends on it
lmao
>no arguement
I win btw
I also probably know more about fate than you
Just say you don't mind because you want to look at breasts.
>Verification not required.
cringe
based
We do know she's not blond, but only from a single piece of physical evidence, one of her hairs preserved in a wax seal. Her hair colour can't actually be nailed down from contemporary accounts alone.
>the only evidence we have she wasn't blonde is a hair of hers that isn't blonde
Are you suggesting the carpet didn't match the drapes? I don't think it was that type of letter.
animation was cool, music feels generic. Story wise is SHIT and its not even told in a funny way.
Reminder that Joan is alive in Heaven as part of the Church Triumphant and she can see you jerking off to her.
please don´t say that, anon. It would imply that she knows of all the times i fapped thinking her. I don´t want that
I hope she likes what she sees.
>tmw Jeanne d'Arc sees you hot gluing the Saint Joan of Arc plushie you bought from your local cathedral
>Saint Joan of Arc plushie you bought from your local cathedral
This doesn't exist.
They sell them in my local cathedral. I didn't buy one, but they look like little snowmen.
I never jacked it to her but I do feel bad that I find her attractive now. So I just respect her in a platonic way.
>respectfully venerates
Her soul is in eternal bliss and praise to the lord so I'm sure she either understands or doesn't mind my masturbation habits
>she can see you jerking off to her.
That's fricking hot.
I might have my centuries wrong but there was a point that the feeling of having touched the light of god was the same as an orgasm.
So I'm just trying to get a piece of some of the action she's getting.
I wonder if Joan is one of the most jerk offd to people in history. She's almost certainly the most jerk offd to saint.
Good.
>Reminder that Joan is alive in Heaven as part of the Church Triumphant and she can see you jerking off to her.
Mea Culpa
This reminds me....
Outside of Jeanne d'Arc and Cleopatra what other real female historical figure has a large number of porn dedicated to her?
Florence Nightingale
Pocahontas
I'm honestly surprised there's no Julia the Elder stuff given that she was a canonical bawd IRL.
hot!
We deserve what is about to happen
The collective French waifu. Amazing.
Is she balding
not in the 2023 version
While I get the joke of her being insecure about not being able to hear the voice of God, I can't help but think if it would have been funnier to go the opposite direction and her constantly pestered by the voice of God. Just continually getting bad advice and telling her 'dad' to shut up.
I really hate Joan in clone high. There’s generally nothing whatsoever to connect her to the historical figure.
That is the joke
It's not even her joke. It's every joke in the fricking show, except the joke of JFK (bawd).
I hate her so much. A schizophrenic propaganda mouthpiece for a fake state that was unjustly and treasonously trying to deprive France from its rightful Kings; a nation of hypocrites and crooks and murderers. Her friend Gilles de Retz was one of the most prolific serial killers in history: he raped, brutally tortured, and murdered 140 children before being executed.
Not a single person in France lifted a finger to stop Guillaume de Normandie from conquering England in the name of 'self determination'. Not a single person in France lifted a finger to stop Étienne de Blois from conquering England in the name of 'self determination'. Not a single person in France lifted a finger to stop Geoffrey 'Plantagenet' d'Anjou from conquering England in the name of 'self determination'.
But suddenly, when their arrogance and greed came back to bite them on the ass and the English inherited the French throne, SUDDENLY, it was all 'self determination' and 'we can't have an English ruler on the French throne!'
FUUUUUCK I'M SO MAD
It's the ultimate fricking disgrace that the Catholic church has SAINTED this chienne. FRICKING CANONIZED HER. Even people in Anglophone countries look up to this French partisan.
Our history has been robbed from us. How many Anglophones who know J*an have even heard of Jane Grey, or could name a single fact about her? Yet Jane Grey was a true Englishwoman, persecuted and killed by Welsh usurpers when even younger than Joan. And unlike Joan, she was incredibly well educated; one of the best-educated women in the world at that time.
>giant wall of Anglo schizo rambling
Get lost british subhuman. This board is French clay.
You know British includes the Welsh and Scots, the latter being France's favourite catspaw.
The frick it is, Frog.
By the way, you're welcome for Lend Lease, eurocuck.
>There's a french cartoons thread
>There isn't a british cartoons thread
Cinemaphile is a french board. Get over it Brit.
>British
The Act of Union wasn't until 1707.
>She still makes Anglo's seethe this hard to this day.
No, she doesn't. The 100 years war is just history to us. We're just as likely to waifu her as anyone else.
I know I'm just teasing the schizo lol
Fair enough.
There are plenty of blondes in France. It's just that Joan wasn't one of them.
The Japs just have some weird fixation on blondes. I supposed because it's seen as exotic over there.
And an entire nation of women with long perfectly smooth black hair and they just don't appreciate it
what kind of mental process leads someone to conclude that shit?
>naruhodo
in a world of black and brown, a hair that literally glistens as gold is pretty interesting. I dont mind black hair personally, but everyone loves gold
Your food sucks too!
Kek I imagined her yelling this when she attacked
Chewing on frog legs?
notice how anon never said she DIDN'T receive visions from God
The English clearly wanted to be conquered all those times, otherwise they wouldn't have let it happen. They're conquer-bawds.
I don't care about your actual post, but it made me realise just how much wasted potential it is that there wasn't a bong equivalent to joan leading the british. Yes, there are national heroine equivalents in other time periods, but I mean specifically two of them in rivaling countries under the circumstances of the hundred year war.
Imagine two smug schizoid 15yo brats constantly 1upping each other to win a war, each of them fully claiming to be on a direct mission from god. Imagine how heated the arguments between their fans would be even to this day. As it stands, the brits got no smug brat, and everybody just talks about joan.
imagine the yuri...
You made me think of Julie d'Aubigny and now I'm disappointed that Jeanne d'Arc died 300 years beforehand.
>Cucked men and then killed them in duels
Psycho dyke
Unironically based. Would have fricked her senseless after a duel or die trying
>Cucked men
>Cucked women
>Cucked God
>Cucked France's legal system twice
>Happily married to Beta mild nobility
All before she became middle aged in her mid 20's
She'd bang both of you if you were man enough to not die.
Considering she killed men trained in swordmanship, I'd die instantly.
Are you a beta of minor nobility who's okay with getting cucked by a bisexual teenage theatrical fencer? If yes, you're good.
Most astroturfed historical female ever. Is she even real?
Why wouldn't she be? Not like France never had psychotic women running around.
Who’d win in a fight Jean or Joan?
The dyke, she's had confirmed kills in 1v1 duels multiple times while Joan says in court she preferred her banner over her sword and never killed anyone herself.
We would have pic related but instead:
>You c**ts have been doing this for over 500 years
>Five Hundred Years
>screencap
>It's now almost 40
For what its worth, Edward the Black Prince and Henry V both started their military careers at 16ish, with Eddy leading at the Battle of Crecy at that age. Quite a bit before Joan, unfortunately
God didn’t make a bong Joan because he knew the sight of two underage femcels fighting each other would either kickstart feminism or waifuism and the world wasn’t ready for that level of cringe yet
Wouldn't work, because it would necessitate an english girl being simultaneously beautiful and virtuous and such a thing is simply not possible in tandem in the british woman, let alone individually.
>there wasn't a bong equivalent to joan leading the british
Ex-fricking-cuse me?
>some dork that isn’t a qt tomboy
There should have been a young English commander who kept losing to her and the thought of her made him seethe even though he finds her alluring
>him
How else will Jeanne become pregnant?
Through the power of God. He did it once, he can do it again!
>We don't live in a timeline in which Jeanne d'Arc humiliates her British rival in a battle and tells him to 'run home, little boy, before I break my sword upon your backside too.'
Darkest timeline.
He would commit a sin afterwards
God, I wish that was me.
>There is a timeline where this shipping war is real and people died in this war
FRICKING LOL
SHIPKEKS IS MORE PATHETIC NOW
>but it made me realise just how much wasted potential it is that there wasn't a bong equivalent to joan leading the british.
Boudicca.
She has been abused by progressive movements for decades to say womyn stronk despite being a massive failure. And as a soft/"civic" nationalist for longer-
>two smug schizoid 14yo brats
Oh I see, this is a schizoid thread. Joan is a shitter waifu than most.
Everyone who ever met her:
>Joan is intelligent, impressive, and extremely charismatic
Anglo Cinemaphileners six centuries later:
>ur waifu a shit
Who to trust
>Boudica
If I wanted her brought up, I wouldn't have specified
>Yes, there are national heroine equivalents in other time periods, but I mean specifically two of them in rivaling countries under the circumstances of the hundred year war.
oy mate do you have a license for this hate speech?
Why does she make anglos seethe so much?
They deny her hearing the voice of God because otherwise that would mean He supports the French over them, so they call her a glorified cheerleader, only to seethe more when they realize they are admitting that this cheerleader beat them.
Imagine seething hard about people and events half a millennia ago. Americans and British don't even seethe about the American Revolution this hard.
Not unless a movie that leans on historical accuracy, drops the ball hard (The Patriot)
So, I've seen that the Napoleon movie was embarrassingly inaccurate, but was it at least entertaining?
Don't even think about them
You typ like unto a perfidiouſ Burgundian, wanting in goodly witt but rich in madde
>Yet Jane Grey was a true Englishwoman, persecuted and killed by Welsh usurpers when even younger than Joan.
The Lady Grey claimed right to rule via Mary Tudor, fifth daughter of actual Welsh Henry VII. She was I think blameless in what happened to her and deserves sympathy, but she was a pawn in courtly games and her backers lost.
arthur will return and anglos will finally be extinguished,british isles to the bretonic people.
Calm down Henry, you'll give those frogs hell next time
The next step in the British-French rivalry will be a war between Africans and Pakis. What a time to be alive.
That’s a lot of seething over someone who’s been dead for several centuries.
It's a good thing the English lost if you like... English. If they had won, the English nobility might have remained french and thus we all speak french now
You lost to a "glorified cheerleader"
Did what we did best and perfidiously stacked the court though.
>couldn't actually find anything heretical, burned her because she was a tomboy
>Virgin, religious, tomboy, nationalist and mentally ill
How evil and wicked bongs must be to kill her... No wonder their elite claimed to be the true israelites(now I see they were right)
The actual """reason""" was that the court made her swear that she couldn't wear men's clothing, then refused to give her women's clothing, and used that as proof she had broken her vows.
Imagine Jeanne in a cheerleader outfit cheering on the French army. Her toned body and fat breasts giving them impure thoughts.
No no no, part of the appeal is she screaming very angry to kill them.
She was a teenage girl wearing a suit of armor and brandishing a sword while screaming very angry to kill them. That alone would've been a turn-on to your average French knight regardless of how she looked.
>how to know someone's nationality with a single post
>schizophrenic
Reminder that none of her visions are actually consistent with schizophrenia or any other brain problems so the logical conclusion is that she actually was ordained by God to drive the English out of France.
More realistically she lived in an area that was subject to repeated English raids and attacks and developed a hatred of them and that combined with her pious nature made her believe she was given a divine mission since everyone at the time was religious. No schizophrenia or brain problems required, just hatred and vengeance.
>Imagine getting so mad because your french king lost to the actual french king.
If England had won the 100 years war, english as a language and culture would have been erradicated by the central government like every single local french dialect and identity. Be thankful that they just kicked your ass instead of seething for no reason. You became an actual country because of it instead of a glorified french colony
ow
>Her friend Gilles de Retz was one of the most prolific serial killers in history: he raped, brutally tortured, and murdered 140 children before being executed.
I don't remember where I read/heard this, but apparently some people think it was just a kangaroo court to oust someone the people in charge didn't like.
Not, like, the didn't have enough evidence for a modern court, but they didn't have enough evidence for a court of their era.
Some people believe the accusations against blue beard were false, with the only goal to frick him into either exile or death penalty (probably for his properties, money or something like that). More than anything it's the idea that if he really raped, slaughtered and killed (not necessarily in that order) as many toddlers as he supposedly did, people are questioning the logistics of the whole matter. Kidnapping, storing and disposing of that many kids with so little to show for it archeologically is what was found weird.
Schizo sexo
she's a mentally ill teenager
I'd imagine most teenagers would be after the shit they had to see. Also something something age of consent was different then, give me Joan wife.
>Also something something age of consent was different then
Not really; you're thinking of child BETROTHALS, back when marriage was basically a contract between two families to make sure they didn't kill each other. And you know what'll frick things up? The wife and/or heir dying in childbirth.
So, while people were engaged to be married, they'd wait until the woman was old enough to have safe childbirth (which is a more recent thing than you'd think, medically speaking). The reason people back then had so many kids was because life expectancy was fricking brutal. War, disease, famine - that shit WOULD kill you.
>War, disease, famine, etc death rate back then was higher.
FTFY.
>Hiro, a history autist, turned Joan into another historically inaccurate generic waifu
cmon man
So a teenager in the 2020s
femcel
Thot patrol'd
cringe
>breaks holy sword beating up prostitutes
glorious
B&T Joan is the GOAT
B&T everything is the GOAT. Loved the Billy the Kid and Socrates buddy scene.
>poor
>mentally ill
>illiterate
>virgin
>hated the british
>hated prostitutes
>LARPed as le based warrior
she really was /ourgirl/ frick the french for letting her die
They didn't let her die, Joan told them that God would save her, well, it turns out that she is crazy after all.
Even when she was sentenced to the stake, the biggest burn Joan received was by Philip the Good.
What if she became a mother
What if she was your mother
Joan already was making plans to send an army into the Holy Roman Empire to fight the Hussite heretics. She had a letter written to them to convert or she'd come their and kill them once she finished with the English.
Joan likely would have stayed a voluntary celibate soldier of God, joining wherever a holy war was fought.
>moronic and historically inaccurate haircut
it's a bowl cut, really common.
frick ya muddah
should I draw her with big breasts?
Big breasts are not battlefield appropriate.
Her men said she was stacked and had to bind them every time she wore armor
This meant she needed help to dress and some of them regularly saw her naked but she was so pure that they couldn't feel lewd about it
>doodle 2024MAR07 Jeanne destripando la historia
files.catbox.moe/w8eyzg.jpg
Nice
Jeanne milkers…
Now do Anne Frank nine months pregnant with decent-sized milkers and a popped out belly button obviously
meh.
such nice juggs
Holy milkers
Nice work as usual.
The one of the soldiers who escorted her to the town next to domremy, vaucoleurs said she was of "virile" looks
Which is medieval french to say she had a thicc butt.
>Which is medieval french to say she had a thicc butt.
Bonne.
based on the only known contemporary image of her that seems very plausible
BOOBA
It wasn't really though, it was basically a margin doodle by a guy who never met her, the sources from her actual men should be enough. Jean was a short olive skinned brunette with nice sturdy legs and a great wrack
Don't forget a finely sculpted ass, 10/10 face, DSLs, eyes you could drown in, and she smelled of cinnamon and cardamom.
With a low sultry voice.
What are your sources?
The French hon hon.
>So Joan chased all those women out of the camp, shouting threats a walloping them with the flat of her sword
She broke a holy sword doing this.
how do you break a sword on somebodies ass?
if you hit wrong with the flat side the weight of the blade will bend it out of shape.
>a prostitute’s ass is stronger than the wrath of god
Poetry
The archangel Michael revealed all of it to me as I prayed beside a beech tree.
Not him, but the large breasts report I know for a fact came from one of her retainers and the transcript can be found describing her as shapely before court, at the very least
Man those lips are kind of disturbing
They are FULL and SEXY; not that I would ever look at such a pure, chaste woman in that way.
Draw her being queen and pregnant like she is in my CK2 games
>CK2
How much incest was required to get to that point
There's an event chain in the sons of Abraham dlc that spawns her. You can seduce her if your king is lustful and/or cynical. But you have like a 5% chance unless you tinker with files
I feel dirty knowing how to accomplish that by heart.
>Get a Joan of Arc OC event by losing a war
>She always is celibate so you have to use the seduction focus and be a Master Seducer that lets you alway pass seduction check
>Joan OC loses celibate and can be married now
You think you feel dirty? I've had AI slop generated of this very scenario
tags? I can never gen crowns like that.
I haven't genned in a while but it was something silly like "embarrased Joan of Arc being crowned queen, manga style" or something
big ass
At least the British won in the end. Our empire was cooler.
In the end of what? the UK is a massive shithole falling apart at the seams. France is doing great in comparison.
Nobody really cares about the French empire while English became the closest thing to a universal language because of the BE’s influence. Unfortunately that’s working to our detriment these days, but I have faith there’ll be an upheaval in the next decade or so.
Two more weeks.
>to a universal language because of the BE’s influence
false
>France is doing great in comparison.
Both countries are falling apart.
Britain has bee going through an Orwellian phase since the 1980's and France keeps threatening to have another civil war every 3 weeks.
And both inch closer to full on race war daily.
There was one in Britain between Pakis and blacks recently.
Did he deserved it?
Did they make a Night at the Museum cartoon?
Animated movie
I can forgive them making her blonde solely for gifting us with that nose.
glorious
Semen in her nostrils
Built for an ugly nosehook!
name? Or is it literally a Night at the Museum movie?
Night at the Museum: Kahmunrah Rises Again
My favorite part is when they explain the joke because I'm dumb.
>Blond
FRICK OFF! I expect this shit out of Japan.
I find it kind of funny how Mark Twain of all people was a great admirer of Joan and claimed that his best work was the book he wrote about her.
everyone simps for Joan.
IIRC he saw a lot of his daughter in her
So she didn’t shave, right?
Of course. She was French; not Brazilian.
Imagine her lying naked on a pile of straw, her body toned with her large breasts exposed and her dark pubes and hairy pits visible.
>NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THE ANIMATION/MUSIC
>NOT EVEN A LINK
Cmon
What you thought of it? I want the 2 last images as a wallpaper.Gives the vibe that she went to Heaven to kill the english for eternity.
Anyway, what is your favorite Paco&Rodri clip?
I think the nrse gods have the coolest clips (and they form a storyline), the greek gods have the catchiest songs and the veeery old fairy tales ones are the funniest (give me a Weird AI vibe).
The one about Odin is hype as frick, might be their best.
They need to do a video just about Ragnarok
I think they're slowly building up to it.
The 3 waifus
Thay part is really hard-core. I love the portrayal of Odin as a classic wizard who's also an absolute madman.
>Anyway, what is your favorite Paco&Rodri clip?
Big fan of the the Goddess Isis one(hoping to see Nephthys get a good one too).
Most relistened ones might be either Gilgamesh or Ares out of the mythological ones, but Bluebeard/Barba Azul or Blancanieves Rusa(Russian Snow White) wins out overall.
Odin one is fantastic.
Before watching their videos I always pictured Osiris as a woobie whose major story is just being killed, but their characterization of him as a major chad now stuck with me
>The womanlet married her giant brickhouse of a brother and then fricked her chad brother too
I hope they make a Set song next. I really like his design and having a "villain" song would be great.
I'm all for it.
>What you thought of it?
I don't speak Spanish but I want to hug Jeanne d.Arc and they made her cute as I wanted. So I give them thanks
they have gotten worse music wise
Considering their earlier stuff was dubbing over existing songs, that says something.
My top 5
>Hestia (nominating her again for miss Cinemaphile)
>Sun Wukong (part where Buddha appears is pretty sick)
>Odin
>Zeus
>Demeter
Great list, but I think I'd put Hades instead of Demeter (I love the ending that reveals Hades is probably your uncle)
Gilgamesh is the one I end up singing the most, Ares is a close second
There's a channel that add english subs of their videos if you're curious:
https://www.youtube.com/@unravellingsubs3868/videos
I swear there was like historical record talking about what a sweet derriere Joan had like straight up callipygian cheeks.
She had narrow hips and no ass
You got any historical proof of that anon?
JEANNE D'ARC IS A bawd FOR HOMUNCULUS DRAGON DICK
>SiegBlack person
kys
How would you impress St. Jeanne if you were on a date?
Talk about my faith.
Difficulty: I'm a (mostly) German Protestant. Jeanne'd want to get her 30 Years War on a couple centuries early.
>godless anglo
throw myself at her feet and beg for correction
I, on the other hand, wish to be her, like a fricking troon
Ask her about her religious experiences in 15th-century French.
God I love her so much. More than Giles, more than that noble who gave her a horse immediately after seeing her, more than that squire who said she had nice boobs
But do you love her more than Mark Twain?
Maybe. I haven't written a book on her. But his book was pure glorious waifutism and I salute it
Claudia Octavia triggers my savior complex something fierce and I've off and on entertained the idea of doing a highly dramatized story focused on her life mainly and the other Claudias that were around Nero: her half-sister Claudia Antonia and the freedwoman Claudia Acte. But I also have no confidence in my writing ability.
Yes
She looks like the prostitute who gave me herpes, I miss her
.
little bawd
She was pure.
My ideal woman.
>La Pucelle if she real
Would you follow her to hell itself?
Joan's British equivalent was Edward the Black Prince who was her complete opposite
>British to her French
>Royalty to her commoner
>From the start of the Hundred Years War to her nearing the end
>Sided with the commoners over the nobles during a dispute. While Jeanne sided with the nobles.
>Jeanne died being burned in fire while he died from dysentery (so basically dehydration.) and water loss.
>Jeanne never got to see the end of the war, while he got to see a temporary peace (an assumed end) because he helped negotiate it.
You forgot
>Black Prince: Notorious chevauchée who sacked villages having brutal murders, rapes and pillaging to demoralize the French.
>Joan: Under oath during her trial that she never killed anyone personally with her sword and preferred her banner
Didn't Joan actually kill all those prisoners because they rejected her first offer?
Sadly she was only raised to nobility after her death.
I don't think she always offered quarter but I've never heard of her taking prisoners first and then killing them.
There's a reason when they made a Dynasty Warriors Spin-off about the Hundred Years War the two were the main representative commanders in the first game.
> they made a Dynasty Warriors Spin-off about the Hundred Years War
The what?
What's weirder is that they do the exact same joke again later in the movie, but then don't explain it. Kahmunrah Rises Again really is blatantly just four episodes of the canceled cartoon series strung together.
Yeah the game map was huge and semi persistent and instead of just a weapon you controlled an entire formation of soldiers as a mercenary. After awhile into the campaign you'd get an offer from the Black Prince and Jeanne D'Arc to join one side permanently. If you pick England Edward gives you Excalibur and when you inevitably don't do that Jeanne presents you with Durandal and calls you one of the people closest to her and you get to save her from her execution and ride the man responsible for it down like a dog.
The sequel sees the war interrupted by basically the Dragon from Revelations showing up to unleash legions of monsters on the world and destroy both armies and kidnap Jeanne, with a chance that all of the commanders on both sides present other than the Black Prince, yourself, and a mercenary friend of yours can actually fricking die in the battle and just be gone from the game for the rest of the campaign. Which if you just played the first one La Hire and co dying after you've been broing it up because you were too slow actually kinda fricking hurts.
Bladestorm: The Hundred Years War and Bladestorm:Nightmare's controls were kinda weird but it fricking ruled and is to this day still very arguably the best of all Dynasty Warriors games.
hairy muff
>low sultry french voice
This boner must be divinely inspired.
no boner, just heart boner
>trying to dictate how the holy spirit is working itself on me.
Why don't you say that to my face ENGLISH.
>England has more churches devoted to Jeanne than France does.
WHAT?
YOU'RE JOKING! WHY HAVENT I SEEN THEM.
TELL ME WHERE THE TOMBOY CHURCES ARE! I NEED TO KNOW!
She really, REALLY liked artillery. Had the most cannons under her command out of any French leader of the war, and she knew damn well how to use them. I wouldn't be surprised if she could eyeball trajectories on incoming fire.
For added trivia, IIRC she never actually used her sword except to chase prostitutes out of her war camps, so yes she basically beat the frick out of the entirety of England more or less unarmed.
jeanne remains the best (and only french person worth remembering)
The Maquis de Sade was french and he at least put out.
French have two paths; either become pure beings of heavenly light or becomes pedophiles.
Why didn't any of those knights get the courage to confess to her?
She was on a mission from God, and she didn't put out. Also, she was a peasant girl, it wasn't a practical marriage for a noble.
I would give up my status to marry her. I could careless if she put out either.
Different mentality, if you had been raised back then you wouldn't think so.
She would have banished them to the shadow realm for leading her
most nobles instantly realized she was a clueless peasant operating purely on fanaticism fumes
she had a number of dedicated simps, including the king himself, but most people didn't like her autism
King just used her. Simps like Giles and D'Alençon all jerked off to her
Nique ta mere, who let the putains d'Anglais in? Burgundy, Flanders, I'm looking at you
bro they ditched her like a hot potato the second she failed at paris, then they let her do what ammounted to a suicide charge against a burgundy siege with 200 only men.
she was a nice girl, but she wasn't some sort of prodigy.
You don't appear to know the definition of prodigy.
He's not wrong. Some revisionists say that Orleans would have been a French victory regardless of her being present. She failed plenty of times and was a liability to the crown in being so aggressive that it was becoming detrimental to the overall strategy. Tactically she had clear talent though boisterous is might have been but her zealotry (which is one of her biggest charms and biggest strengths as a person) became her greatest thorn at her side
You don't appear to know the definition of prodigy either.
Repanse is best girl, not just in Bretonnia, but all of Total Warhammer
When did this board become Cinemaphile?
Cinemaphile is a dump. Half the threads are the same old debates on religion. the other half is haplogroup nonsense and world war 2
>Single Cinemaphile thread Is better to cover history than modern Cinemaphile board
lol
Always was
>Cinemaphile
>actually talking about history
Cinemaphile hasn’t been like that in nearly a decade
Fate Jeanne should look like a paler Makidera instead of another Seibaface
Blame Urobuchi
He's the one that established they look enough alike to trigger Gilles' insanity
This is because it's meta, people believed that "saber" was Jeanne before her identity was revealed.
That's how it goes. If there was somehow a thread about automobiles there or some other subject that doesn't belong there, I guarantee it would be a good thread simply because it is off topic.
I just like girls in armor, it has nothing to do with her being a minor!
She was of age well before she died. Everybody was a minor at some point anon.
It's funny and remarkable that for half the period she was active she was a prisoner
Died with the taste of Anglo cum in the back of her throat.
Nice headcanon homosexual
oh my!
a chance to post Joan from Drfiters!!
rate my Joan Cinemaphile
Would follow into battle and think impure thoughts about/10
Nice. Now draw her shouting die die die
Would commit blasphemy to worship her over our lord.
This is not what she would have wanted
Holy quints
Ugh Englishbros??!?!??
so it it written
Blessed be
Reminder that all the knights who "simped" for her were married men. Some were decades older than her. They did not love her like that
>Pascu & Rodri
The Zeus song ruined that channel.
What? The content is not that different, its still musics with stories.
But they kind of did the most famous fairy tales already.
Also Gilles de Rais was framed by rivals and people who wanted his land. His "confession" was obtained under torture and there's never been even a shred of forensic evidence found for all of the supposed murders. Same deal as Elizabeth Bathory who was targeted by her family's rivals and Emperor Matthias II who owed a large debt to her family.
>Same deal as Elizabeth Bathory who was targeted by her family's rivals and Emperor Matthias II who owed a large debt to her family.
That's right!
Liz Love!
Gilles even refused to admit guilt until they threatened him with excommunication, so the devil worshipping claims are also ludicrous. Why would someone who sold his soul to the devil still care about that?
Loving procreation with Joan with lots of cuddling and curses toward the English
Yes
Anglos are just mad that they were written to be the antagonists for that season.
Does she atleast know about her d'Arts?
There should have been an English noble to fall in love with her. Love could have bloomed on the battlefield
What little we know of her future plans, apparently she was planning on leading a crusade against the Ottomans after defeating the English.
>We missed out on the Joan of Arc/Dracula crossover arc
Vlad Tepes was actually born only months after she was burned
No she was planning on joining the crusade against the Hussite heretics in Germany. She had someone write to them demanding their conversion and everything.
The hussites, the ottomans, all would have kneeled before the queen of the tomboys
My favorite Jeanne fact is how when the king asked what boon she wanted for all her help getting him crowned, all she asked was for her hometown to be exempt from paying taxes forever cause its hard on the farmers.
What is more amazing is how the king and all his descendants kept to that promise for hundreds of years until the Revolution, who then forced the town to start paying taxes again.
>Reason number 837282 the French Revolution was a mistake
Why am I not surprised.
It's funny because the Republicans also waifued her a bit, given her mostly humble origins and her protonationalism
Everyone waifued Jeanne a bit, it comes with being a cute chaste tomboy.
>ywn marry one of mossa cannibalis character's
Reminder that it’s a historical fact that Jeanne had nice breasts
>the Japanese depicting her as blonde is unrealistic, they don't understand it!
Meanwhile, in the West
I hate how Jeanne d'Arc became "Joan of Arc" in English. How the frick did that even happen? No one calls Leonardo da Vinci "Leon of Vinci", or some shit like that.
actually we do, but it's inconsistently applied and mostly a matter of which usage was more popular
The English don't use soft Js at the beginning of words so this would lead to her being called "John Dark".
It wasn't even a name her or anybody in her family used in her lifetime. Proper last thames for commoners were just coming into fashion.
Last names*
Are we critiquing history now? Is that what we're doing?
My husbando John Dark.
Handholding
Fingers interlocked
Smiling at one another. Prolonged eye contact even.
I'd rather take the french than the britbongs.
For me it's the Hungarians
if Jalter's hair in that pic was dark, it would be not far off to the real thing. Including the booba
That would've been better design imo, but since Artoria Alter came first so they had the idea matched her color scheme instead.
Now thinking about it, it would've been really clever if the Alters were just slightly more historically accurate versions of the Fate version, like with accurate hair color and clothing. Shame it wasn't.
I dunno about historically accurate king Arthur but that would be a neat idea
What is this from? She looks cute
It's from Destripando La Historia, youtube link was posted here:
Best Joan
>They went with the English princesses instead of based Jeanne
They thought at first she was married to Noah
The patron saint of tomboys
>perfidious Albion
Their souls are burning now.
Uh so wild shot in the dark here before the thread dies. Is it a sin to find a Saint attractive?
I remember one time I said I found cartoon Mary cute in a Mandela Catalogue thread and experienced horribly realistic nightmares for the next 2 nights.
Yeah but bro that was Mary, have some respect. I'm talking our dear sweet Joan over here.
I'm supposed to find that impressive? The Skyla argie straight up drew porn of her, anon.
And he got a train track nail through the foot and cancer.
And i'm supposed to believe these are some sort of punishment? When tons of people get cancer every year? Not to mention the train track nail sounds like a cool story for later, the dude's an edgelord after all.
Anon that all happened like a single week after he did that
Apparently the nail shit did, but it's not like I have the specifics so still sounds like fearmongering. Gonna need proofs about the cancer though.
Not if you marry them first.
Yes. It is a sin to find cute tomboy saints attractive
I feel like if someone tried to make an accurate adaptation of her story in this day and age both sides would hate it.
The right would call it woke and call her a strong independent woman who don’t need no man
And the left would hate her piety, nationalism and desire to become a tradwife someday
There’s just no winning.
Extremists on both sides are fricking morons anyway. I just wish they weren't all loud braying jackasses that ruin things for the rest of us
your lame horseshoe theory discounts one half of that spectrum actually absorbs media, and the other just gripes about it for idpol reasons
leftists belong in death camps
I'm glad you included that second line or I wouldn't have known whose side you were on.
>The right would call it woke and call her a strong independent woman who don’t need no man
Leftists literally would not get it, they'd try to remove any mention of God in her story. This would be stupid since everything she does is for god but there is no doubt Hollywood would try to lesson God's impact on her story as much as possible in the same way they've tried to remove Christ from Christmas
Joan isn't prideful and stuck up. There's no backdrop of smugness when she's fighting because she is doing it for God. When she chases off prostitutes it's not because she hates seeing men be happy. Its because she knows the men can be better.
Joan is the only woman men would die for and not want to frick.
I don't think that's totally right though. A lot of right leaning types still love Metroid and Alien
Ooooogh, sweet Joan.
Too cute
Join the army they said
Push the British out of France they said
It will fun they said
>we can hear you Joan
ahh the french, well known for being cooked... or was it their cooking?
Post her feet.
>footgay
I catch 'em when I can and I want another datum: if you had to pick just one answer, even if both are true to some extent, do you find the concept of feet psychologically erotic or do you find physical stimulation of the feet physically arousing, e.g. a foot massage vs. a back massage?
>Denied to use her artillery against Jan Žižka and his terifying state-of-the-art Wagenburg tactics.
>Denied teaming up with Vlad II Dracul and young Vlad the Impaler to kick the Ottomans back to the other side of the Bosphorus.
>Denied her deliverance of the Byzantine Empire.
>Denied to grow older and aid the Catholic Monarchs to end the Emirate of Granada and maybe talk with Christopher Columbus.
>Denied to retire and die of old age.
Why am I supposed to like the anglos again?
While that would be based, would haughty German nobles bother to listen to a French peasant that the best method to destroy Hussite war wagons was to bombard then with dishonorable cannons?
Also Joan would HATE that the Catholic league ends up teaming up with the moderate Hussites to destroy the radical branch in exchange for the Church acknowledging the moderate branch as a legit rite with that is allowed to drink the Blood of Christ.
If I learned something about the Zizka campaign in AOE2 is that the german knights can be too arrogant.
If it worked in France, it would work in Germany. There would be some receptive to her tactical changes and others not so much.
Joan would have been 80 at the time of Columbus. What a life she would have lived
She got isekaied to another realm where she kills demons and zombies and vampires while getting smashed by a hunk
That's not where I heard she was Isekai'd to
I suck playing as Bretonnia but I keep trying just for her.
It's aight. I'm more of a history boomer but I loved playing as her in TW2. Wish TW3 was complete so I can conquer the world as her and for her to reign as immortal empress. It's weird that a game with giant dinosaurs and zombies and and rats with nukes and steam tanks etc. my favorite faction is the relatively uncrazy group of knights
Does this mean God is an ass man?
That's Repanse who is WHFB Jeanne. IRL Jeanne did as the thread said have nice legs and nice boobs and probably had a decent dumper.
She was a kween
I liked Milla's performance as her though her movie shits on her through strawmanning
Like Dustin Hoffman tears her story apart as confirmation bias but it only happened that way in the movie
She's cute as heck if you can post more of this one
We posting more slop?
Toasting in the epic bread
I forgot this was Cinemaphile while reading through the thread. There are far more inspiring woman in history then some french girl who made France win a war it was guaranteed to win anyway.
I agree. Like Boudicca, Queen Elizabeth the 1st, Queen Victoria and even Margaret Thatcher.
>Like Boudicca
>boudicca
>inspiring
oh nonono Cinemaphilebros how do tell him
Being fair she fricked up the Romans enough that the generals went ape shit and when Nero found out he had the generals responsible tortured and executed for what they did to her and her daughters. Even at the time people simped pretty fricking hard for her and thought she was amazing.
The real question is why is anglogay bringing her up when they're almost entirely unrelated to the Iceni.
>Being fair she fricked up
bro she suicided her entire army against a roman legion 10 times smaller because she didn't know anything about war beyond "berserker charge"
Before that, the Iceni had the war essentially won. No reinforcements were comic and no defenses could be set.
>Being fair she fricked up the Romans enough
She didn't, she massacred a few barely occupied/defended garrisons and then the second she and her people encountered a half-competent Roman army they got annihilated.
>went ape shit
Romans tended to do that when dealing with rebellions, yeah. Spartacus' rebellion led to thousands of men being crucified along the Appian Way which pretty much put an end to slave revolts.
>made France win a war it was guaranteed to win anyway
The Hundred Years War being a famously quick and simple affair and morale being such an insignificant factor in pre-industrial warfare.
>France wins 100 years war
>gets to control all its mainland bits and has nothing stopping further conquest
>Frace loses 100 years war
>gets to control all its mainland bits and has nothing stopping further conquest and the british cease existing as a people and now are just french, Irish famine never happens
>There are far more inspiring woman in history
Are there though?
ywnbaw
>Doing Jannie's work for free
How's it feel to be more pathetic than a Janitor?
>he doesn't know
She keeps a lock of hair in her pocket
Here is your musicless animation
>l'OBJECTION!
Holy FRICK
Checked the video proper and they even used Mia Fey's voice clip for it
>More homosexual japanese video games
what you got against reverse traps?
jannies dont care
A reverse trap would be like those pirates or soldiers during the 18th or 19th centuries that served on ships or in armies pretending to be men for a variety of reasons (mental illness, the urge to leave shit homes or to fight alongside their spouse etc.) Jeanne wouldn't be considered one.
The person you're thinking of is Anne Bonny. Now there's a fine reverse trap.
>latin swarthy dark haired tomboy Jeanne and celtic ginger pale reverse trap Anne Bonny in the after life dabbing on the English
>A reverse trap would be like those pirates or soldiers during the 18th or 19th centuries that served on ships or in armies pretending to be men
one of those to not be raped
the easiest answer
I don't know much about female sailors. Read and Bonny were the most famous ones and their pirate careers are more of a novelty instead of something comparable to Blackbeard or Roberts or any of the other famous pirates around the time. Female soldiers were around for quite a while. I don't know much about this subject outside of the American Civil War but I do remember hearing this Swedish woman who served in the Swedish army and eventually married another woman or something. Or maybe it's just the alphabet people embellishing history. As for the American Civil War, my favorite story would be of a private constantly going to to their commander's tent at camp. Then some months later that private starts to develop a traditionally unmanly bump in their belly.
I see
ESE DIOS QUE TE HABLA A TI
ES ZEUS
Reminder that Jeanne was not a warrior and never participated in any battle. She was a cumrag, basically, used by soldiers to boost their morale by gangbanging her
Of course she wasn't a warrior. That doesn't mean she wasn't brave. She was on the front lines and got shot twice by crossbow bolts. And she died a virgin in all three holes.
You're not implying the crossbow holes right?
I am saying she was pure even as the flames took her
A bannerman was a honorable position to hold, not to mention dangerous since you had to depend on your allies while you held the flag to rally behind. She also got close enough to get injured multiple times. She had more bravery than you'd ever have in your whole life. Keep seething.
Since Pascu and Rodri are doing Historical Figures now, which ones do you want them to cover?
For me it's Richard the Lionheart
They have done historical figures before like Anastasia
Pesonally, I would go for historical figures featured so much on fiction it's easy to forget they actually existed like El Cid, Cleopatra, Julius Caesar or Blackbeard
Also since they began with stories overshadowed by adaptations one about the real crap Alexander Hamilton did parodying Miranda's style would be quite funny
What is this?
a French wienersleave
Destripando la Historia a Spanish YouTube animated music series that tells, through songs, the true stories of tales everybody knows better from their adaptations. They started with fairy tales, with also some myths like Hercules and Thor, the origins of holidays like Halloween or Christmas (the origin of Valentine's Day was their first song), real life people with non accurate animated movies based on them (Pocahontas and Anastasia) and even the original stories of comic book characters like Iron Man or Thanos. Then, they made one about the real myths of Zeus and was followed by songs about the rest of his siblings and they focused on songs based on various myths (Greek, Norse and Egyptian mainly but they have dealt with other myths like Sun Wukong or Gilgamesh). Their last song was about Jeanne of Arc implying that they are going to return to more varied topics again.
Also their quality got such a glow up, they started with chalkboard drawings, later went to digital illustrations, they started putting more little animations and since some years they went full animated. They have got pretty popular in Spain and Spanish speaking countries in general (They are quite popular in Mexico apparently) and have official merch (including books that either expand the stories of their songs or tell about other ones that still have no song) and do live concerts.
There's a YouTube channel that makes English subtitles of their vids if you are interested: Unravelling Subs
Thanks
You're welcome
>asked the priest to hold up a crucifix while on the stake so the last thing she'd see would be the Lord
>the executioner was afraid that he would be damned to Hell for killing a holy woman
>they had to burn her body at least twice, because her pure heart was untouched by the flames according to the executioner
Jeanne was too pure for this world even in death.
>Jeanne d'Arc.
How do you pronounce that?
Sean Dark
I do not believe you
It is very important to get her armor right if you are going to draw her in armor
Bobby Hill looking ass
I fricking love this thread
I hope this another one like this soon.
How can I get my own Jeanne.
Go to teen mass as the creep 30 year old.
The animation sucks so bad. And terrible one note facial expressions
Bump