god, fricking, damn it. I didnt know this was a fricking apple movie. frick. This honestly looks terrible. Its might just be the god awful fricking trailer. I guess they have to make this historical drama palatable to fricking zoomies? Everything about how it is cut was fricking stupid. Also, theres an audio editing mistake @1:19 seconds. Cool. Is this Amatuer hour? I think Phoenix is a great actor and he was a good pic but it really isnt showcasing that. Alsom and this is just a common complaint of Ridley Scott at this point, is France some fricking cold ass place like fricking alaska? The color temp of this movie is so muted and blue. That one sun rise shot was nice tho. Honestly any excitement i had for this is now gone. Will torrent someday, FRICK APPLE.
it's going wide to theaters first because apple isnt moronic like netflix, apple just ponied up the funding and said hey after the theater window let us keep it on apple TV
The Last Duel was flawed but I wouldn't say it was unbelievably bad
I somewhat share your opinion but I also think he's earned enough benefit of the doubt to let the old senile frick make whatever, even if he rapes Alien in the process
[...]
Be real. He fricking mogs you, both physically and spiritually.
Spiritually, maybe, but certainly not physically
11 months ago
Anonymous
Napoleon was a literal chad.
11 months ago
Anonymous
11 months ago
Anonymous
11 months ago
Anonymous
he looked pretty masculine with very robust facial features
11 months ago
Anonymous
lol hes got acne scars i mog him
11 months ago
Anonymous
probably actual pock marks from smallpox, pretty common back then
11 months ago
Anonymous
Past a certain age... a man without an army is a bad thing
11 months ago
Anonymous
HEY MAN NICE SHOT
11 months ago
Anonymous
Underrated.
11 months ago
Anonymous
Looks like Rutger Hauer,
11 months ago
Anonymous
If that's Chad, I'm GigaChad. I know that you can't fathom it because you're on Cinemaphile.org and think everyone here is a loser like you, but you're wrong.
11 months ago
Anonymous
Nuh uh, I am super duper omega giga chad and my girlfriend is super hot too.
11 months ago
Anonymous
>tfw Napoleon's sperm is still winning in 2023
bros...
That guy is Napoleon's brother's direct descendant.
he looked pretty masculine with very robust facial features
uncanny
11 months ago
Anonymous
Young Dennis Hopper is a dead ringer for Napoleon.
>he actually played Napoleon in a short segment in the movie The Story of Mankind.
11 months ago
Anonymous
Nah, Napoleon was quite handsome which makes him getting cucked even more amusing.
You can pretty much be a chad world conqueror and women will still cuck you.
11 months ago
Anonymous
He was kind of shy when young, lost his virginity with a prostitute, then fell in love with Josephine who was older and became his mommy gf. Of course she was also a prostitute, and he manned up about it once he realised this.
11 months ago
Anonymous
His young wife also got seduced by a chad thunderwiener recruited by the Austrian Emperor to seduce her.
Napoleon accomplished a great many things no man can hope to accomplish in one life.
Yet, he still got cucked because women only care about getting fricked.
11 months ago
Anonymous
He was kind of shy when young, lost his virginity with a prostitute, then fell in love with Josephine who was older and became his mommy gf. Of course she was also a prostitute, and he manned up about it once he realised this.
Got cucked because Josephine always saw him as the lowly corporal instead of the emperor of France.
11 months ago
Anonymous
He got cucked because Josephine was a notorious prostitute. She was long before she met him.
11 months ago
Anonymous
I never heard of this, sounds like bullshit
11 months ago
Anonymous
>sounds like bullshit
It's part of history.
https://shannonselin.com/2015/01/adam-albert-von-neipperg/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_Albert_von_Neipperg
11 months ago
Anonymous
He thought he would need six months to seduce Napoleon's second wife, it only took him a couple weeks, kek.
11 months ago
Anonymous
That's after Napoleon was defeated.
11 months ago
Anonymous
So? They were still married and he had a full house echelon in Elba.
11 months ago
Anonymous
So it was a royal marriage, you think they were in love?
11 months ago
Anonymous
>moving goal posts
Napoleon got cucked by women all his life.
11 months ago
Anonymous
You seem obsessed with cuckoldry, got something you'd like to tell us?
11 months ago
Anonymous
>now he's gonna cry
Just stating the facts of Napoleon's life that apparently make you wanna cry because he's your hero or something.
I just find it amusing that no matter how great a man is women only care about basest of things.
11 months ago
Anonymous
It’s not about Josephine, it was his second wife, who was an 18 year old BPD moron who hated Napoleon, then fell madly in love with him when she actually met him, then immediately fell similarly in love with the first guy to give her attention after he was exiled. Her son hated her for a reason
11 months ago
Anonymous
Its so common knowledge the english mocked him with it.
11 months ago
Anonymous
The English made up every lie conceivable out of their butthurt for Napoleon
11 months ago
Anonymous
Nope. All true. He even wrote shitty, self-insert fanfic with Notpolean as the tragic, romantic lead hero.
It's all fricking true.
11 months ago
Anonymous
I'm better looking
Nuh uh, I am super duper omega giga chad and my girlfriend is super hot too.
Wrong
11 months ago
Anonymous
post face
11 months ago
Anonymous
No. I'm better looking.
11 months ago
Anonymous
ok and I'm a space alien that is 20 million years more advanced than earthlings
What's the deal with the woman? She said something like "you're nothing without me" are they really going to pull a "the woman behind the strong man is actually stronger" bullshit or something.
no, they're going to pull off a woman THINKING that, but it not actually being the case. Women are people too anon. They have their own delusions of being influential just like us men can. Tough to understand, I know.
This is the only part that makes sense if they go with le stronk woman trope. Josephine constantly cheated on him and made him feel insecure all the time. Fun bit is that Nap was a bit of the cuck and loved her till his death.
You left out half the story.
She cucked him while he was in Italy and Egypt. But when he got back he confronted her, and the tables turned. She would remain faithful to him, but he would take mistresses as he pleased.
Yes, but she still was always on his mind, what you're talking about was still a character flaw to some extent because Nappy had an extremely fragile ego, so he had to punch back thrice as hard when it came to every perceived blow or humiliation (even if a person didn't mean to offend). I honestly don't get why people loved him as anything more than a general and protector, the guy seems too intense, domineering and insecure to be loved.
You don't climb to the heights of power like that without being a megalomaniac. He conquered all of Europe west of Russia and put his brothers and sisters on the throne of all the notable kingdoms around. Of course he was proud to a fault, and couldn't just forgive being cucked.
Because it's a. Hollywood so god forbid actually doing some historical accuracy and b. it's Ridley Scott the last person you want around while making historical kinos >inb4 gladiator gays and kingdom of heaven sois flock the thread to defend him
He's 31 which is perfect, and looks exactly like him.
He'd need to have been campaigning ahead of it to establish himself as having the gravitas for the role. Not much of his recent work would have people going "YES, he could be Napoleon".
I think phoenix would be perfect if this was just maybe about le grande armee in Russia, the hundred days and waterloo or something but yeah in no way can he pull off a young rising napoleon
life is just life, there's no puppet master behind everything. Find a wife you can live harmoniously with and have children and live old and die. That's all you need to do to be a "real player". If you can accomplish anything extra on top of that, go for it, but definitely make sure you have secured that or are securing it and that your accomplishment seeking does not risk that happy family life.
A guy who chases being the top banker or politician or whatever, but has a miserable home life, you do not actually want to be him. You only envy the image or idea of him, but living his reality is miserable and you would hate it. You are just constantly busy with one nonsense after another while you are acutely aware of the shallow unfulfilling nature of your personal relationships.
>A guy who chases being the top banker or politician or whatever, but has a miserable home life, you do not actually want to be him. You only envy the image or idea of him, but living his reality is miserable and you would hate it. You are just constantly busy with one nonsense after another while you are acutely aware of the shallow unfulfilling nature of your personal relationships >rich people are le sad
literal lie invented by slaves
being rich only solves problems that money can solve
you can't buy a woman's authentic love
11 months ago
Anonymous
>being rich only solves problems that money can solve
which are 99% of problems. You are able to provide physical security, health, education, mobility, opportunity and recreation for yourself and your family. And yes you can actually "buy" a woman's love, since the main thing they look for in a long term partner is security. Don't be a piece of shit and women would be falling over themselves to marry you. If you're paranoid over gold diggers look for high achieving women who are rich themselves.Why are you coping with this romeo and juliet "authentic" shit? A woman might love you in poverty but you don't get up and start trying to make money and see if she stays with you.
11 months ago
Anonymous
>And yes you can actually "buy" a woman's love, since the main thing they look for in a long term partner is security. Don't be a piece of shit and women would be falling over themselves to marry you.
Then you've only ever dealt with superficial love. It sounds like you only look for certain types of women. And that's okay if that's what you prefer. But actual love with a woman is possible if you search for it.
11 months ago
Anonymous
>you can't buy a woman's authentic love
Now imagine being and ugly like most men. kek
Checked and based.
People look for meaning in all the wrong places. A meaningful life is always built on meaningful relationships. Everything else is window-dressing.
someone who had the bright idea to cast one of the greatest actors of our time as Napoleon
that kind of talent doesnt exist in our younger crop of male actors, at least not ones with plausible enough looks (like Chalomet)
it's fricking jarring. It's like casting Bruno Gantz to play a 30 years old Hitler during his rise. He also looks emanciated and sickly while Napoleon was pretty fat in his later years.
Also, I take issue with calling Phoenix a good actor. He's good in very specific autism-like roles, he's nowhere the actor I'd choose as an incredibly charismatic general.
My point is that imagine casting that Bruno Ganz to play Hitler during the Beer Hall Putsch or prior to the war? He'd look out of place no matter how much of a good actor he is.
someone who had the bright idea to cast one of the greatest actors of our time as Napoleon
that kind of talent doesnt exist in our younger crop of male actors, at least not ones with plausible enough looks (like Chalomet)
people who watch biopics and expect english speakers to speak in the accent of the foreign language are some of the most moronic midwits alive
you either just speak english or speak the actual language, donning a french accent is a moronic half-measure.
At best you have characters speak different variations of English accents if that's needed, e.g. Joaquin doesn't need a French Corsican accent, but he should have some kind of accent that separates him from how everyone else is speaking English
>you either just speak english or speak the actual language, donning a french accent is a moronic half-measure.
Then why do they put on English accents when the actors aren't English? Just speak with no accent if you're going to do something so stupid. But in reality it's because they think dumb audiences associate the English accent with any European country, aside from Germany which must always have the correct accents so you know they're the bad guys.
We sound moronic when speaking English. I'm not sure why everyone insists on this, it would only make the movie more ridiculous than it already is.
In my opinion, the best compromise would be for them to slip in some French lines here and there "Mon empereur" when addressing Napoleon, or extras shouting "En avant!", "Feu! and shit during combat scenes.
And yes, I know there's going to be an epic reddit comeback saying that we sound moronic when speaking French as well.
Frenchgay here, French people don't speak to each other in English with a stupid accent. A whole film like that would sound absolutely ridiculous. Either make it in French or in standard English with received pronunciation as they're doing here.
>And yes you can actually "buy" a woman's love, since the main thing they look for in a long term partner is security. Don't be a piece of shit and women would be falling over themselves to marry you.
Then you've only ever dealt with superficial love. It sounds like you only look for certain types of women. And that's okay if that's what you prefer. But actual love with a woman is possible if you search for it.
your idea of love only exists with teenagers anon. I guarantee a woman is always gauging your resources. Invite a woman for a date and be a stingy mf and see if she'll want a second one.
>I guarantee a woman is always gauging your resources.
Sure, but she's looking for a minimum. You don't need to be rich to find love. I think you may just have a problem with the type of women you date. If you want shallow women though then you do you.
of course you can buy love. that's the whole point of all the time you spend making money.
11 months ago
Anonymous
that's like saying you can buy muscles. No way around it, even if you take roids, you have to put the work in to get the results that you truly want. There is no shortcut that involves buying yourself directly to the end result. Some amount of work is necessary
I was expecting them to do some CGI de-aging for the young Napoleon scenes since Joaquin isn't DeNiro in The Irishman-old yet, but looks like he's going to be late 40s the entire runtime.
Those deathmasks you guys are posting was made after he likely died from stomach cancer. Napoleon was based, but I think most people have "strong features" after wasting away and dying from cancer.
Accounts from when he was young doesnt mention him as particularly good looking. He was average height for the time at best, but he charismamaxxed and many accounts mention his eyes as being extremely piercing. He was most likely actually a bit scrawny, because money became extremely tight for his family after the father died.
All the paintings of young Napoleon look similar, so they're probably accurate. Though that kind of face wasn't considered particularly attractive at the time. And yes he was kind of scrawny and had narrow shoulders. Piercing eyes I remember reading about too, he was intense and energetic.
>Here's that little corporal I was telling you about. >Nice work on the Toulon job kid. Now how'd you like a trip back to the old country? We got some unfinished business with the Habsburgs, and I got a cannon with your name on it.
>Soldiers, you are naked, ill fed! The Government owes you much; it can give you nothing. Your patience, the courage you display in the midst of these rocks, are admirable; but they procure you no glory, no fame is reflected upon you. I seek to lead you into the most fertile plains in the world. Rich provinces, great cities will be in your power. There you will find honor, glory, and riches. Soldiers of Italy, would you be lacking in courage or constancy?
- Napoléon addressing his men when he took over as commander of the Army of Italy in 1796
As kino as Napoleon's campaigns were, there's a direct historical line from his invasion of Russia to the situation in Ukraine right now. That's arguably where Russian resentment of Western Europe began.
The Catholic/Latin and Orthodox/Cyrillic split has always been too major to overcome. Many Russian Tsars have attempted to Europeanize the country and they all failed. Russia belongs to an Eastern cultural bloc on a grassroots level.
Never, his crimes were uniquely terrible even by his contemporary morals. He stands out as an example of the depths of depravity and evil modern people can be capable of so unless our civilization fundamentally changes time will meter rehabilitate him.
anyone can roid out but it has to be sustainable anon. Nazi Germany was basically a massive case of meth fueled roid rage. You'll have a short period where you're on top of the world and able to take on anyone, then it all comes crashing down
>uniquely terrible even by his contemporary morals
Because they were israeli? (+ 5 million gays, gyppos, etc nobody seems to care about)
let's compare high scores with Stalin, Mao or Misc Pot
>So what did you want to talk about, Bernadotte? >They're making me Crown Prince of Sweden. >Sweden!? >The land of vikings and cheap furniture. >How'd you manage that? >You know my friend Baron Carl Otto Mörner? Well he put in a good word for me over there at the court. >What's going on here!? I'm busy taking over Europe and you're getting an entire kingdom placed in your lap!? >You want Sweden? I can give you Sweden. I prefer Pontecorvo. >No! Take Sweden, enjoy Sweden...
Just saw the trailer and it looks like shit.
Lots of bad looking action scenes, it seems like it's going to be about most of his life so it's guaranteed to be like 3 hours long. Super serious tone, and all the dialogue I heard was super stiff.
I dont see how this is going to be good.
schizo post: they purposefully cast him as too old in part because scott is an aging boomer who hasn't made a good film for decades and to reinforce to younger people that they have to leave the big decisions to the elderly and that they have never been capable of achieving anything
funny how boring it looks, with the obvious cgi cannons, and the constant jump-cuts for maximizing emotional impact because they think you're too moronic to understand it otherwise. and because the whole scene is artificial anyway, there aren't people out there on a field doing manouvers with pyrotechnics go off around them. it's all cgi. it's one of those battle scenes where you look down to your phone to scroll through your timeline because it's so fricking soulless and unengaging.
I wished he finished that ww2 one about some german soldier. Also there was some other guy that was supposed to make DUNE but the studio denied him. Woulda been kino....
imagine being the last emperor of the world, one of the greatest strategic minds ever, and hundred years after your death virgin incels talk shit about you because you weren't an epic marvel mary sue.
Its just some funny banter, no one ITT will ever be remembered though history like napoleon is. Might as well have some fun with it while we can still participate in the discussion.
>Never, his crimes were uniquely terrible even by his contemporary morals. He stands out as an example of the depths of depravity and evil modern people can be capable of so unless our civilization fundamentally changes time will meter rehabilitate him.
Imagine being this mad because someone called out hitler for being a moron. Even if you think the holocaust was made up, hitler showed how incompetent he was by taking command on the eastern front. Open any book about the campaign in the east from 1943-1945 and you'll see how hitler fricked himself and his army constantly. Anyone who idolized such a moron has to be one himself, how else could you excuse him destroying his own army with dog shit commands.
I mean, the Eastern Front was already fricked by that point and his generals had already fricked it pretty good too. Just swapping one moron in charge for the other. The only thing is that some of these morons lived long enough to write self-aggrandising memoirs blaming it all on Hitler.
The battle of kursk and fortress cities are uniquely part of hitlers moronation. Before the battle of kursk there was a chance for an armistice between the soviet union and Germany if hitler gave up most of their gains from operation barbarossa. Not ideal, but Germany may have lived on. Hitler decided to double down on a shit plan and killed off his nation in 2 years because of it.
>a chance for an armistice between the soviet union and Germany if hitler gave up most of their gains from operation barbarossa
That would be something that would not happen though. When has anyone ever petitioned an armistice to give up land with you pretty much asking them to invade you from a better position in the near future?
>Imagine being this mad because someone called out hitler for being a moron. Even if you think the holocaust was made up, hitler showed how incompetent he was by taking command on the eastern front. Open any book about the campaign in the east from 1943-1945 and you'll see how hitler fricked himself and his army constantly. Anyone who idolized such a moron has to be one himself, how else could you excuse him destroying his own army with dog shit commands.
Because before calling anyone they disagree with "literally Hitler" they used call such person "literally Bonaparte." He was Europe's boogeyman for over a century until the next boogeyman.
Already walled at 23. Menbros...
walled? You dont know much about Napoleon
You are right, I am not homosexual like you so I don't have a Napoleon penis shaped dildo. I don't know him as well as you.
Napoleon isn't in that scene. That's Joaquin Fenix
god, fricking, damn it. I didnt know this was a fricking apple movie. frick. This honestly looks terrible. Its might just be the god awful fricking trailer. I guess they have to make this historical drama palatable to fricking zoomies? Everything about how it is cut was fricking stupid. Also, theres an audio editing mistake @1:19 seconds. Cool. Is this Amatuer hour? I think Phoenix is a great actor and he was a good pic but it really isnt showcasing that. Alsom and this is just a common complaint of Ridley Scott at this point, is France some fricking cold ass place like fricking alaska? The color temp of this movie is so muted and blue. That one sun rise shot was nice tho. Honestly any excitement i had for this is now gone. Will torrent someday, FRICK APPLE.
>a fricking apple movie
WHAT?
holy fricking shit
it's going wide to theaters first because apple isnt moronic like netflix, apple just ponied up the funding and said hey after the theater window let us keep it on apple TV
>apple
I'm afraid it's worse -- it's from Sony Pictures
Ridley Scott had proven time and time again he should have stopped making movies with Gladiotor. Everything since then has been UNBELIEVABLY bad
The Last Duel was flawed but I wouldn't say it was unbelievably bad
I somewhat share your opinion but I also think he's earned enough benefit of the doubt to let the old senile frick make whatever, even if he rapes Alien in the process
Was Gladiator even that good?
This was a 15 years old man in 1950.
this was an 11yo girl in 1913
what are they putting in our water??? it's over
>Here's that kid genius i was talking to you about
Yung Napoleon was a beautiful man. It's a travesty they cast the boomer Phoenix for this.
>this guy
>beautiful
I'm way better looking
stfu homosexual it's not like you'd ever be capable of conquering europe
I could try if you want me to.
do it homosexual, but unironically
OK I like will
Spiritually, maybe, but certainly not physically
Napoleon was a literal chad.
he looked pretty masculine with very robust facial features
lol hes got acne scars i mog him
probably actual pock marks from smallpox, pretty common back then
Past a certain age... a man without an army is a bad thing
HEY MAN NICE SHOT
Underrated.
Looks like Rutger Hauer,
If that's Chad, I'm GigaChad. I know that you can't fathom it because you're on Cinemaphile.org and think everyone here is a loser like you, but you're wrong.
Nuh uh, I am super duper omega giga chad and my girlfriend is super hot too.
uncanny
Young Dennis Hopper is a dead ringer for Napoleon.
>he actually played Napoleon in a short segment in the movie The Story of Mankind.
Nah, Napoleon was quite handsome which makes him getting cucked even more amusing.
You can pretty much be a chad world conqueror and women will still cuck you.
He was kind of shy when young, lost his virginity with a prostitute, then fell in love with Josephine who was older and became his mommy gf. Of course she was also a prostitute, and he manned up about it once he realised this.
His young wife also got seduced by a chad thunderwiener recruited by the Austrian Emperor to seduce her.
Napoleon accomplished a great many things no man can hope to accomplish in one life.
Yet, he still got cucked because women only care about getting fricked.
Got cucked because Josephine always saw him as the lowly corporal instead of the emperor of France.
He got cucked because Josephine was a notorious prostitute. She was long before she met him.
I never heard of this, sounds like bullshit
>sounds like bullshit
It's part of history.
https://shannonselin.com/2015/01/adam-albert-von-neipperg/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_Albert_von_Neipperg
He thought he would need six months to seduce Napoleon's second wife, it only took him a couple weeks, kek.
That's after Napoleon was defeated.
So? They were still married and he had a full house echelon in Elba.
So it was a royal marriage, you think they were in love?
>moving goal posts
Napoleon got cucked by women all his life.
You seem obsessed with cuckoldry, got something you'd like to tell us?
>now he's gonna cry
Just stating the facts of Napoleon's life that apparently make you wanna cry because he's your hero or something.
I just find it amusing that no matter how great a man is women only care about basest of things.
It’s not about Josephine, it was his second wife, who was an 18 year old BPD moron who hated Napoleon, then fell madly in love with him when she actually met him, then immediately fell similarly in love with the first guy to give her attention after he was exiled. Her son hated her for a reason
Its so common knowledge the english mocked him with it.
The English made up every lie conceivable out of their butthurt for Napoleon
Nope. All true. He even wrote shitty, self-insert fanfic with Notpolean as the tragic, romantic lead hero.
It's all fricking true.
I'm better looking
Wrong
post face
No. I'm better looking.
ok and I'm a space alien that is 20 million years more advanced than earthlings
waste of time. the only thing you could have in common with napoleon is having a shit taste in waifus
It's true, I have very little in common with him. I'm better looking, I probably can't conquer Europe, and I have great taste in waifus.
>I have great taste in waifus
That is up for the elder council of Cinemaphile to decide
Post, if you dare
Here
Wrong
Those eyes tell me she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose
>t. wizened hag enjoyer
i expected nothing less. disgusting
I was joking. It's actually Emily Feld.
acceptable
she's fricking ugly
stfu homosexual it's not like you'd ever be capable of conquering europe
I probably could if I wanted to
NO I'm the one who likes Emily and is better looking than Napolean. You're talking to someone else
dilate
Man-face
dilate
5/10
whatever happened to the emily feld posters?
fell off cause b***h is ugly
Wrong
She looks like Emma Watson if she were dropped on her head as a child
She's more attractive than Emma Watson
Be real. He fricking mogs you, both physically and spiritually.
his nose is gross
he had a chad italo-dinaric nose
Not really. He was sick, skinny, with pale skin.
How was the bussy game?
Not really, he was malnourished and quite melancholic. They say he improved after he became more older though
>Give me the 70's Freddy Mercury cut
Could transition have saved her?
What's the deal with the woman? She said something like "you're nothing without me" are they really going to pull a "the woman behind the strong man is actually stronger" bullshit or something.
no, they're going to pull off a woman THINKING that, but it not actually being the case. Women are people too anon. They have their own delusions of being influential just like us men can. Tough to understand, I know.
I get where you're coming from but
>he thinks modern pozzed filmmakers are capable of subtlety
>ridley scott of all people
>"you're nothing without me"
>Shoot your emperor, I'm right here
Yeah about that
She makes the most powerful man in Europe nut so her inflated ego makes her think he couldn't do what he's doing without her
This is the only part that makes sense if they go with le stronk woman trope. Josephine constantly cheated on him and made him feel insecure all the time. Fun bit is that Nap was a bit of the cuck and loved her till his death.
You left out half the story.
She cucked him while he was in Italy and Egypt. But when he got back he confronted her, and the tables turned. She would remain faithful to him, but he would take mistresses as he pleased.
Yes, but she still was always on his mind, what you're talking about was still a character flaw to some extent because Nappy had an extremely fragile ego, so he had to punch back thrice as hard when it came to every perceived blow or humiliation (even if a person didn't mean to offend). I honestly don't get why people loved him as anything more than a general and protector, the guy seems too intense, domineering and insecure to be loved.
he was just a genius with a personality disorder
You don't climb to the heights of power like that without being a megalomaniac. He conquered all of Europe west of Russia and put his brothers and sisters on the throne of all the notable kingdoms around. Of course he was proud to a fault, and couldn't just forgive being cucked.
Holy shit, he's literally me
>too intense, domineering and insecure
My curse is that's the exact type I'm attracted to.
Napoleon was a cuck so sure why not.
Your mom was a cuck
Napoleon was actually pussywhipped. Maybe read about his life
He was when he was in his 20s, then he started treating women like objects.
That's how 20 years old looked back then unironically
he just like me fr
Why didn’t they just de-age him?
>Here’s that kid I was telling you about
Lol Joaquin Phoenix is almost 50, that's the age Napoleon was when he died.
Why couldn't they cast a younger actor?
Because it's a. Hollywood so god forbid actually doing some historical accuracy and b. it's Ridley Scott the last person you want around while making historical kinos
>inb4 gladiator gays and kingdom of heaven sois flock the thread to defend him
Gladiator is pretty good. Great, even. Kino, dare I say?
Are you the same guy from the other thread who was upset Gladiator didn't feature gay romance and instead had too much "action"?
i like ridley but hes lost it
Gladiator is good but KOH is dogshit similar to most of his historical fiction movies.
Phoenix also looks like a miserable weirdo. They should have gone with pic related.
He'd need to have been campaigning ahead of it to establish himself as having the gravitas for the role. Not much of his recent work would have people going "YES, he could be Napoleon".
>Phoenix also looks like a miserable weirdo
so napoleon?
>Why couldn't they cast a younger actor?
at this point just be happy they didnt use a Black person
>Why couldn't they cast a younger actor?
Cause they all suck ass. why do you think the corpse of harrison ford is still around.
There's tonnes of better actors than le sad incel man.
That's 23, during the 18th century. He looks pretty youthful.
I think phoenix would be perfect if this was just maybe about le grande armee in Russia, the hundred days and waterloo or something but yeah in no way can he pull off a young rising napoleon
>tfw Napoleon's sperm is still winning in 2023
bros...
That guy is Napoleon's brother's direct descendant.
This sounds like a kino movie premise
imagine assassins creed but inverteted, where descendants are psychologically possessed by ancestors in a kind of psychosis.
god you're right. We have literal gold just waiting to be picked up and instead we get marvel goyslop.
When’s he running for President of France
lol when I see things like this I always think those people are the real players in life, we're just npc generating gdp in the background.
The real admins are the banker families who've remained completely intact for centuries and made their bones through the 1800s.
life is just life, there's no puppet master behind everything. Find a wife you can live harmoniously with and have children and live old and die. That's all you need to do to be a "real player". If you can accomplish anything extra on top of that, go for it, but definitely make sure you have secured that or are securing it and that your accomplishment seeking does not risk that happy family life.
A guy who chases being the top banker or politician or whatever, but has a miserable home life, you do not actually want to be him. You only envy the image or idea of him, but living his reality is miserable and you would hate it. You are just constantly busy with one nonsense after another while you are acutely aware of the shallow unfulfilling nature of your personal relationships.
>Find a wife you can live harmoniously with
Looks like a game over for me, how do I restart?
you keep trying, you have to be able to learn to compromise skillfully
I feel like I would end up killing her in some incel roid rage after seeing an actually harmonious couple and not being able to cope
as long as you believe in a better possible future for yourself, a version of that future becomes attainable.
>A guy who chases being the top banker or politician or whatever, but has a miserable home life, you do not actually want to be him. You only envy the image or idea of him, but living his reality is miserable and you would hate it. You are just constantly busy with one nonsense after another while you are acutely aware of the shallow unfulfilling nature of your personal relationships
>rich people are le sad
literal lie invented by slaves
being rich only solves problems that money can solve
you can't buy a woman's authentic love
>being rich only solves problems that money can solve
which are 99% of problems. You are able to provide physical security, health, education, mobility, opportunity and recreation for yourself and your family. And yes you can actually "buy" a woman's love, since the main thing they look for in a long term partner is security. Don't be a piece of shit and women would be falling over themselves to marry you. If you're paranoid over gold diggers look for high achieving women who are rich themselves.Why are you coping with this romeo and juliet "authentic" shit? A woman might love you in poverty but you don't get up and start trying to make money and see if she stays with you.
>And yes you can actually "buy" a woman's love, since the main thing they look for in a long term partner is security. Don't be a piece of shit and women would be falling over themselves to marry you.
Then you've only ever dealt with superficial love. It sounds like you only look for certain types of women. And that's okay if that's what you prefer. But actual love with a woman is possible if you search for it.
>you can't buy a woman's authentic love
Now imagine being and ugly like most men. kek
>Find a wife you can live harmoniously with
Ahahahaha
A solid relationship is making a series of compromises you hate less than being alone.
Checked and based.
People look for meaning in all the wrong places. A meaningful life is always built on meaningful relationships. Everything else is window-dressing.
The stock market will be abolished.
The uprising starts now.
>npc generating gdp
How come you can't?
uhh.. should we be worried?
Damn, his sister looks exactly like him.
Napoleon said that all European wars are civil wars.
Based.
movie?
kinography of the highest order
god bless
Dino De Laurentiis knew how to make a fricking movie
look at the file name moron
>”All European wars are civil wars.”
>starts a bunch of European wars
>starts
Napoleon only ever started 2 conflicts: against Iberia and against Russia
I know. He still started them
A 'bunch' is not 2, so you don't know anything.
>has capetian blood within him aka the blood of the Ancient Kings of France
>married a Hapsburg
It's all coming together
levels of chadness that shouldn't be possible
Wish this homie would stage a coup in France and take over his rightful throne.
not to mention he married an austrian princess
I shit you not.
all he has to say is he's napoleon's descendant
>gets outmogged by wellington's descendant
Who had the bright idea to cast a 50+ years old boomer as Napoleon?
He's an established actor with a decent resume. Would be a bigger gamble to cast an unknown, although more accurate historically.
it's fricking jarring. It's like casting Bruno Gantz to play a 30 years old Hitler during his rise. He also looks emanciated and sickly while Napoleon was pretty fat in his later years.
Also, I take issue with calling Phoenix a good actor. He's good in very specific autism-like roles, he's nowhere the actor I'd choose as an incredibly charismatic general.
Bruno Ganz did a great job as Hitler.
My point is that imagine casting that Bruno Ganz to play Hitler during the Beer Hall Putsch or prior to the war? He'd look out of place no matter how much of a good actor he is.
He played hitler in his final days. I would have no problem with pheonix if this was just his return from elba+waterloo
Napoleon did have a bit of an autistic streak I'd say
No he didn't lol. Stop projecting your own flaws on historical figures.
name one, just one good 23 yo actor that can play Napoleon in a convincing way, face it most young actors are dogshit.
See
He's 31 which is perfect, and looks exactly like him.
you think he's a great actor like joaquin is? the hunger games cake guy?
He's decent and definitely has a bigger range than Phoenix who can play anything from depressed autistic incel to angry autistic incel.
>depressed autistic incel to angry autistic incel.
so he is perfect for Napoleon
>Napoleon according to Anglo propaganda
>you think he's a great actor like joaquin is?
On what planet is joaquin a great actor?
Why does it have to be a big name actor? You mean to tell me that billion dollar can't find some guy who can act and look the part?
But if you want, if I had to say at the top of my head, I think someone like Pattinson would do a decent job.
Not a bad choice either actually
He was the best part of that shitty Henry V movie.
i consneed, pattinson would work
>Why does it have to be a big name actor?
having "ACADEMY AWARD WINNER [ACTOR]" in the trailer literally sells more tickets.
Shit that would actually be really good. He also has that ambiguous mix of Chad and tortured introvert going on.
someone who had the bright idea to cast one of the greatest actors of our time as Napoleon
that kind of talent doesnt exist in our younger crop of male actors, at least not ones with plausible enough looks (like Chalomet)
He's a shit actor who makes Napoleon look like a depressed autistic old incel.
>Napoleon look like a depressed autistic old incel.
and one who's also a ruthless genius
he has many layers
Napoleon was also charismatic and his youth is one of his most famous qualities. He was the youngest general in France's history.
To see 50 year old Phoenix as Napoleon receiving orders from people half his age breaks all suspension of disbelief.
name the actor you'd think would be able to better portray napoleon across his lifetime
Nobody believes a zoomer looking actor could conquer Europe.
But that's exactly who Napoleon was.
>Not casting a separate actor to play young, twink Napoleon
Does Ridley not want the female audience?
I would have accepted Phoenix for Russia Napoleon and
for 1790s Napoleon
he was not
How are they going to portray the Revolutionaries? As well-intentioned democrats or the blood-thirsty morons they really were?
Probably both
There were so many factions that they could easily go with both (and more).
Still the best casting
war is hell
Josephine...didn't wash?
Stressful being an emperor
This is what Napoleon looked like at 23 and I'm tired of pretending otherwise
close enough
josephine had huge breasts they better not frick it up
Couldn't they at least try to do French accents? Why does every movie set in Europe have to have British accents?
It'll get dubbed for French theaters anyway.
people who watch biopics and expect english speakers to speak in the accent of the foreign language are some of the most moronic midwits alive
you either just speak english or speak the actual language, donning a french accent is a moronic half-measure.
At best you have characters speak different variations of English accents if that's needed, e.g. Joaquin doesn't need a French Corsican accent, but he should have some kind of accent that separates him from how everyone else is speaking English
>you either just speak english or speak the actual language, donning a french accent is a moronic half-measure.
Then why do they put on English accents when the actors aren't English? Just speak with no accent if you're going to do something so stupid. But in reality it's because they think dumb audiences associate the English accent with any European country, aside from Germany which must always have the correct accents so you know they're the bad guys.
RP is the standard way of speaking English you dumb frick
>speak with no accent
this is the average intelligence of a Cinemaphile poster
Why the frick would they have accents? Do you think French people talk to each other in accents?
Fricking Americans I swear
>Why the frick would they have accents?
Are you being deliberately obtuse?
We sound moronic when speaking English. I'm not sure why everyone insists on this, it would only make the movie more ridiculous than it already is.
In my opinion, the best compromise would be for them to slip in some French lines here and there "Mon empereur" when addressing Napoleon, or extras shouting "En avant!", "Feu! and shit during combat scenes.
And yes, I know there's going to be an epic reddit comeback saying that we sound moronic when speaking French as well.
Frenchgay here, French people don't speak to each other in English with a stupid accent. A whole film like that would sound absolutely ridiculous. Either make it in French or in standard English with received pronunciation as they're doing here.
or cast french actors.
your idea of love only exists with teenagers anon. I guarantee a woman is always gauging your resources. Invite a woman for a date and be a stingy mf and see if she'll want a second one.
>I guarantee a woman is always gauging your resources.
Sure, but she's looking for a minimum. You don't need to be rich to find love. I think you may just have a problem with the type of women you date. If you want shallow women though then you do you.
>You don't need to be rich to find love
nah you're the one who said you can't find love if you're rich.
no i didnt, i just said you cant buy it. You can find it but you can't buy it.
of course you can buy love. that's the whole point of all the time you spend making money.
that's like saying you can buy muscles. No way around it, even if you take roids, you have to put the work in to get the results that you truly want. There is no shortcut that involves buying yourself directly to the end result. Some amount of work is necessary
he definitely looks too old. but whatever, normie audiences won't care.
I was expecting them to do some CGI de-aging for the young Napoleon scenes since Joaquin isn't DeNiro in The Irishman-old yet, but looks like he's going to be late 40s the entire runtime.
Those deathmasks you guys are posting was made after he likely died from stomach cancer. Napoleon was based, but I think most people have "strong features" after wasting away and dying from cancer.
Yeah but you can look at all the paintings of him before he got fat.
Accounts from when he was young doesnt mention him as particularly good looking. He was average height for the time at best, but he charismamaxxed and many accounts mention his eyes as being extremely piercing. He was most likely actually a bit scrawny, because money became extremely tight for his family after the father died.
All the paintings of young Napoleon look similar, so they're probably accurate. Though that kind of face wasn't considered particularly attractive at the time. And yes he was kind of scrawny and had narrow shoulders. Piercing eyes I remember reading about too, he was intense and energetic.
Just watch Abel Gance’s 1927 masterpiece Napoleon instead of this ugly garbage
Hope we get some of his madlad Marshals
They literally hired some Moroccan to play Davout.
What the frick is Ridley Scott's problem?
Not watching this shit but I'm curious, who plays the GOAT, Ney?
This dude apparently. I really don't see it, especially if they're not going to dye his hair red / chestnut.
thats not too bad. throw on some rouge, since Ney was nicknamed the "the ruddy" or the "the redfaced" by the soldiers
Ahaha good joke anon, you nearly got me. There is no way it could be true, right?
Joaquin Phoenix is a terrible choice for the role and a shitty overrated actor
The wrong Phoenix died
unironically they want to take away from his glory by not depicting him as a young man in his twenties carrying out such events
>Here's that little corporal I was telling you about.
>Nice work on the Toulon job kid. Now how'd you like a trip back to the old country? We got some unfinished business with the Habsburgs, and I got a cannon with your name on it.
>mfw Napoléon was actually getting "you're a loose cannon!" letters from the Directorate during his invasion of Italy
>And your other Grande Batterie!
This will likely be a trainwreck, but this is an absolutely kino period of history.
>Soldiers, you are naked, ill fed! The Government owes you much; it can give you nothing. Your patience, the courage you display in the midst of these rocks, are admirable; but they procure you no glory, no fame is reflected upon you. I seek to lead you into the most fertile plains in the world. Rich provinces, great cities will be in your power. There you will find honor, glory, and riches. Soldiers of Italy, would you be lacking in courage or constancy?
- Napoléon addressing his men when he took over as commander of the Army of Italy in 1796
Well Cinemaphile, would you follow him?
yes, but to loot and rayp
As kino as Napoleon's campaigns were, there's a direct historical line from his invasion of Russia to the situation in Ukraine right now. That's arguably where Russian resentment of Western Europe began.
There's a direct line from the French Revolution to the current day degeneration of society.
The Catholic/Latin and Orthodox/Cyrillic split has always been too major to overcome. Many Russian Tsars have attempted to Europeanize the country and they all failed. Russia belongs to an Eastern cultural bloc on a grassroots level.
So when is big H going to get the Napoleon treatment?
Be told that he's short? I don't know, they already played the troony/fatulence problem/homosexual/incontinent/druggie/israelite accusation cards.
You forgot the one testicle
Never, his crimes were uniquely terrible even by his contemporary morals. He stands out as an example of the depths of depravity and evil modern people can be capable of so unless our civilization fundamentally changes time will meter rehabilitate him.
It's also that he didn't make any positive contributions while Napoleon made plenty. Hitler is more like an unsuccessful Genghis Khan.
He took Germany from economic turmoil into a world superpower in just a few short years.
and then to a country that is still under foreign occupation
Not his fault a bunch of israeli countries teamed up to take him down.
>the israelites control the world!
>wtf, the world is trying to kill me!
>who saw this coming?
This would imply he was right
and it implies he was very, very bad at planning
Sure, though I fail to see what he could have done about it, he would have been coup'ed by ye olde glowies if he hadn't galvanised the german people
anyone can roid out but it has to be sustainable anon. Nazi Germany was basically a massive case of meth fueled roid rage. You'll have a short period where you're on top of the world and able to take on anyone, then it all comes crashing down
This wins dumbest post of the day.
nou
just remove a little 0 and it's not so bad after all
>uniquely terrible even by his contemporary morals
Because they were israeli? (+ 5 million gays, gyppos, etc nobody seems to care about)
let's compare high scores with Stalin, Mao or Misc Pot
It's called The Greatest Story Never Told
>So what did you want to talk about, Bernadotte?
>They're making me Crown Prince of Sweden.
>Sweden!?
>The land of vikings and cheap furniture.
>How'd you manage that?
>You know my friend Baron Carl Otto Mörner? Well he put in a good word for me over there at the court.
>What's going on here!? I'm busy taking over Europe and you're getting an entire kingdom placed in your lap!?
>You want Sweden? I can give you Sweden. I prefer Pontecorvo.
>No! Take Sweden, enjoy Sweden...
Bernadotte an ungrateful shit
Why is everything so fricking grey
THIS SUMMER
>BRMMMMM
ONE SMALL MAN
>BRRMMMM
WILL ACHIEVE
>"He has a horse!"
BIG THINGS
>"LE CHARGE MY MEN!"
NAPOLEON
Just saw the trailer and it looks like shit.
Lots of bad looking action scenes, it seems like it's going to be about most of his life so it's guaranteed to be like 3 hours long. Super serious tone, and all the dialogue I heard was super stiff.
I dont see how this is going to be good.
schizo post: they purposefully cast him as too old in part because scott is an aging boomer who hasn't made a good film for decades and to reinforce to younger people that they have to leave the big decisions to the elderly and that they have never been capable of achieving anything
Was doing that to the russians really necessary?
funny how boring it looks, with the obvious cgi cannons, and the constant jump-cuts for maximizing emotional impact because they think you're too moronic to understand it otherwise. and because the whole scene is artificial anyway, there aren't people out there on a field doing manouvers with pyrotechnics go off around them. it's all cgi. it's one of those battle scenes where you look down to your phone to scroll through your timeline because it's so fricking soulless and unengaging.
>cgi everything
I want to live in the timeline where Kubrick started and finished shooting his movie about Napoleon.
I wished he finished that ww2 one about some german soldier. Also there was some other guy that was supposed to make DUNE but the studio denied him. Woulda been kino....
look how there's not a single continuous shot there. looks worse than squirrel girl commercials.
imagine being the last emperor of the world, one of the greatest strategic minds ever, and hundred years after your death virgin incels talk shit about you because you weren't an epic marvel mary sue.
He's dead and I'm alive. I'm winning, b***h.
Its just some funny banter, no one ITT will ever be remembered though history like napoleon is. Might as well have some fun with it while we can still participate in the discussion.
Ambience for this thread
>tfw you arent advancing shoulder to shoulder with your bros into cannon and musket fire
>tfw kino scenes like Lannes dying in Napoleon's arms will get shafted for more Josephine bullshit
A docudrama of Larrey would be cool
Frenchman here
Although the trailer looks epic.
It doesnt feel 1% true
NO SOVL
>Never, his crimes were uniquely terrible even by his contemporary morals. He stands out as an example of the depths of depravity and evil modern people can be capable of so unless our civilization fundamentally changes time will meter rehabilitate him.
>uniquely
He literally brought liberty across the continent at bayonet point
Imagine being this mad because someone called out hitler for being a moron. Even if you think the holocaust was made up, hitler showed how incompetent he was by taking command on the eastern front. Open any book about the campaign in the east from 1943-1945 and you'll see how hitler fricked himself and his army constantly. Anyone who idolized such a moron has to be one himself, how else could you excuse him destroying his own army with dog shit commands.
I mean, the Eastern Front was already fricked by that point and his generals had already fricked it pretty good too. Just swapping one moron in charge for the other. The only thing is that some of these morons lived long enough to write self-aggrandising memoirs blaming it all on Hitler.
The battle of kursk and fortress cities are uniquely part of hitlers moronation. Before the battle of kursk there was a chance for an armistice between the soviet union and Germany if hitler gave up most of their gains from operation barbarossa. Not ideal, but Germany may have lived on. Hitler decided to double down on a shit plan and killed off his nation in 2 years because of it.
>there was a chance for an armistice between the soviet union and Germany
source?
>trusting the soviets to uphold treaties
>a chance for an armistice between the soviet union and Germany if hitler gave up most of their gains from operation barbarossa
That would be something that would not happen though. When has anyone ever petitioned an armistice to give up land with you pretty much asking them to invade you from a better position in the near future?
banger
I don't care. This movie looks cool. I am going to watch it with my father and appreciate white history in the twilight years of the West.
Imagine that shot, but he's got a zimmer frame
Fixed
>Joey LaMotta was 16 in this scene.
>Who's an animal, Alexei?
>Who's an animal!?
>YA MOTHER'S AN ANIMAL
Is there any good Napolean movies? Pretend I am a zoomer and need explosions and to be able to understand the dialogue (no shakespeare)
That 70s Waterloo film, it's a spectacle but not that good.
the 2007 bbc episode is good
>Imagine being this mad because someone called out hitler for being a moron. Even if you think the holocaust was made up, hitler showed how incompetent he was by taking command on the eastern front. Open any book about the campaign in the east from 1943-1945 and you'll see how hitler fricked himself and his army constantly. Anyone who idolized such a moron has to be one himself, how else could you excuse him destroying his own army with dog shit commands.
why does every thread about nappy inevitably turn into people talking about hitler
The comparison is a grave insult to Napoleon.
Because before calling anyone they disagree with "literally Hitler" they used call such person "literally Bonaparte." He was Europe's boogeyman for over a century until the next boogeyman.
the kaiser was the boogeyman for a bit
>le pre-modern era blue-greyish moody filter
frick israelites and their history revisionism
How much Eternal Anglo butthurt will be in this movie?
1. Massena
2. Ney
3. Lannes
4. Murat
5. Davout
6. Oudinot
7. Suchet
8. Saint-Cyr
can't say I care about the movie much
>you will never blast grapeshot artillery into crowds of rioting lefties and splatter their guts all over the streets of Paris
Napoleon was based