>be me
>looking for twin pistols kino
>pulls out Hunger Games bow and arrow
Nope.
 |
 Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
|
Netflix Tomb Raider teaser.
>be me
>looking for twin pistols kino
>pulls out Hunger Games bow and arrow
Nope.
|
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
|
I have already given up
At least we're getting that Tomb Raider Trilogy remaster.
Finally, light at the end of the tunnel, and some other aspects promising, but can't trust them after all the unfulfilled promises that were ultimately just a thinly-veiled 'frick you'.
I hear you there, brother. It's been suffering being a Tomb Raider fan these past few years.
We will always have the book that came out for the anniversary.
Forgot link
https://libgen.is/book/index.php?md5=FBD18C0DE1D8C0E037F4B000CB9FF496
hunger games really be for gay homies tho
Didn't the writer of the 2013 games said she hated Lara and the games?
I'm the biggest TRgay ever and I can't stomach the reboots. Played one for about 40 minutes ... though technically it played itself while I watched ... giving me control for a 30 seconds at at time before unceremoniously wresting it away again from my clawing grasp ...
There's nothing in them that has the feels of the previous games - at all. And frick little-girl-lost Katniss Lara, or whatever the frick that's supposed to be.
guess what you only get your dual welds in a 30sec bit right at the end at the end of the final boss fight, I am not remotely exaggerating
>ffs
Not surprised son, I am just disappoint.
If you're not doing a backflip dodging while firing with both hands into an enemy, what's the point in even living? Sad. Many such cases.
I played Shadow...and it was Uncharted with a chick. I thought it was fine for what it was, but it wasnt really Tomb Raider
I played like ten minutes of the demo because I heard it was better, until I was like, "What the frick is this shit? I'm slow-walking around in a crowd of people with my dick in my hand trying to bumblefrick onto what exactly?". You can't get any less Tomb Raider than that, and this is what they're using to try to sell me on the game?
After I quickly became convinced the 2013 reboot was never going to let me actually play it, I tried watching a playthrough like the movie it obviously wanted me to watch all along, but that was just as boring. I've never seen a single clip or snippet of gameplay that made me want to go back to that trilogy.
People might say that I'm being too harsh based on too little actual play time, but I would counter that it shouldn't be this hard to make an existing hardcore TRgay demand you take their goddamned money. Coming from someone who has racked up hundreds of hours on the old games, still counting, and desperate for more. But post-2013 shit doesn't scratch that itch at all.
the only thing about the first reboot game was the and get this optional puzzle bits, its mental they made the core of the game an optional extra
Played frick all of it and still heard the phrase, "I can do this", enough to never want to hear it ever again. What is that shit supposed to even be? Dramatic? Such superficial meaningless pap. It's like anti-cool, anti-interesting, anti-dialogue.
>Wokeflix
Dropped
It would be better if she just carries both bow and arrows and her duel pistols. Bow and arrow can be used for the stealth kills and hunting animals for food. The duel pistols for facing multiple enemies who have discovered her and are closing in, especially since the pistols have a higher rate of fire than a bow and arrow.
I have not issue with her being proficient with a bow, or any weapons as might be necessary. A bow being something she can utilise in a pinch, which is what they seemed to imply was the case in that game, but making her use it as if it's her weapon of choice. Screw that shit.
At first I thought the bow shit was just because that Hunger Games crap was all the rage with Zoomgays at the time, and would also explain her shitty look being like that Lawrence b***h. But now I think it must be some kind of bloody-minded 'guns am bad' type twisted logic where the usual suspects just can't bring themselves to have their heroine running around handing out free lead-based life vaccinations, just because they happen to be propelled by gunpowder.
Is she white and thin?
If she's white and not fat I'll take my wins.
Literally if she's not black we fricking win.
no what this anon said
its not lara
Why is Lara a pajeet now?
She's always been British they're just updating her character to match current demographics.
We never got a 2003 Tomb Raider movie Directed by Paul Verhoeven starring Kelly Brook. Frick this gay timeline....
Would have watched that.
The saddest thing about the lack of ongoing good TR Cinemaphile shit is it's not rocket science and never was:
>get thot who has the look, the body type, (cosplay thots prove there's no shortage)
>add English accent
>good live action adaption of outfits
>get her to act cool competent confident, (not smug plank-face-feminist-idea-of-stoic pseudo-confident)
>Indiana Jones archeological adventure style story
>enjoy your money printer
Jolie for all her physical perfection was playing it just a little too self-aware, as were those films themselves. The same old mistake they used to make with comic book superheroes and vidya movies pre-MCU. Thinking because it's a comic or vidya it's somehow 'for kids', a 'comedy', so shouldn't be played totally straight as action/drama. 'Comic book' used to equal 'comedy' to studio Boomertards back then for some strange reason, like more akin to 'comic strip' in the 'funny pages' of their newspapers, and nobody could seem to disabuse them of that moronic notion.
Also they'd think because there are fantastical elements like magic artifacts, they can just do any old whacky dumb random shit they like without it making any sense, as if Indiana Jones and israelite artifacts are real and should be taken seriously, but any other shit is like MLP shit.
Jolie was actually a better Lara type character in 'Salt' because she was playing a serious, single-minded super spy climbing and jumping on shit.
>PLEASE make porn of our brown tomboy!
>PLEASE!
They're so desperate for a new Korra, it hurts.
I'm just guessing here, but I'm assuming that they can't use the old Lara design because the artist that designed it would have to be paid. So instead they used the Nulara that no one likes or gives a shit about.
I never got that kind of thing, because to avoid paying old guy, you pay new guy to create new version? Also not owning versions outright as part of the IP, how is that a good deal?
Reminds me of the McNeill/Locarno/Paris situation. I mean I get it, but I don't get it.
Probably because the old design was using an older contract that gave him bigger royalties. The new design probably isn't owned by any one person because it was obviously a design by committee piece of shit owned by the corporation and not the artist.
Are they gonna adapt this?
>her inner party girl
what the fricking frick is this shit? do they have no respect for the character at all?
There’s other degrading implications in that image as well.
this is suppose to be positive empowered female right? Lara Croft, LARA FRICKING CROFT
>we'd run into so many cute guys haha
WHAT THE FRICK?
>Duke Nukem can have a lot of sex but not Lara
The eternal chud
>2 completely different characters are different
yeah no fricking shit
uh yea, duke is a horndog, lara is not
>lara is not
Women don't dress like (OG) Lara does if they aren't complete cum-bawds constantly wanted to get pounded deep and hard. Believing otherwise is pure foolishness.
This might shock you, so you better sit down.
Lara Croft isn't a real woman, she's a video game character.
Her design is twofold, it makes her look like an adventuring archeologist and it arouses young men who were the people playing the games.
She doesn't have sex, or a sex drive. That is something real people have in the real world, she's not real.
I hope this helps you understand the difference between fictional characters and real people.
You're actually pulling the "actually wrestling is fake" card out about a videogame character with a design that's clearly meant to convey the sort of person she is? You are a fricking moron. If you can't discuss fictional characters as if they're real what are you even doing on Cinemaphile you absolute fricking mongoloid you?
Titillation for the purpose of selling the games isn't conveying anything, are you actually autistic?
>she's not real.
Neither is Santa Claus, Zeus, or Jesus fricking Christ. Doesn't mean some homosexual gets to just change them without people getting pissed off and them losing their original appeal.
None of those fictional characters you mentioned are trademarked, moron. You can make whatever version of Santy Claus you want if that is your thing.
Someone does "Own" Lara, so yeah, any homosexual they authorize can change her.
I'm not even defending Nulara, just pointing out that judging her based on your real world puritanism is moronic, like you.
>without people getting pissed off and them losing their original appeal.
its not a legal issue you dipshit
Ok, so you're mad, big deal, doesn't change a fricking thing.
uh no it doesn't it just maintains the shittness of current croft adaptations? are you moronic?
>no legally we can do this anyway
do you even realize how creepy you are?
>moron finds how two sets of things differ and thinks it disproves my point
Why didn't you just go with Lara starts with 'L', but none of the others do. It would be just as valid a distinction, meaning not at all.
>your moronic
Now frick off. I'm sure we'll all see you later in a 'What Would Vic Mackey Do?' thread or some shit like that.
what utter nonsense, she did that for dexterity and mobility and because she was in tropical environments for the most part, she is sexy as all frick but she doesn't
>discover her inner party girl
that's moronic she is nobility she can go frick when she choose and never acts like a cheap prostitute, even in the jolie movies, she hooks up plenty and is again sexy as all frick, she still never
>discovers her inner party girl
>we'd run into so many cute guys haha
its degrading to her character, its like saying indy hooked up with a lot of girls, of course he did, but he wasn't going to night clubs trying to pick up
>she did that for dexterity and mobility and because she was in tropical environments for the most part
Look at the dresses and other outfits she's worn in other classic games. The woman is a wiener-crazed bawd and it couldn't be more obvious. This has always been obvious to anyone who has ever, ever, touched a titty.
oh you are a zoomer, sry didn't realize
you really like to ignore 1/2 of posts that don't line up with your shit don't you?
>Reserved British girl having casual sex in an African country
Two different circumstances with different implications
Women don't use pistols they use bows.
>Voiced by Hayley Atwell
That's good casting