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there is absolutely no way this ends up good. it has potential to be cringe kino though.
I made it about half way through the first episode of his netflix show without laughing once before i threw in the towel. He should just live off his shrek residuals because whatever comedic talent he had is long gone.
When Mike Myers got divorced, dad suggested that it was because he couldn't make his wife laugh anymore.
Kanye destroyed him.
I mean that's what Eddie Murphy has been doing.
This
The original trilogy was kind of like south park in that it was really aimed at kids/16-25 yos.
They were made when the internet was still new and the jokes were fresh. Now the same jokes are either creepy or cringe. That entire style of humour is a relic from the past. So when they "update" it, it will just feel soulless and dumb
>They were made when the internet was still new and the jokes were fresh. Now the same jokes are either creepy or cringe. That entire style of humour is a relic from the past.
The first one was the only real good one. Second one was barely ok and the third one was just frick it the movie.
Correct.
I remember enjoying them all and thinking they were equally good, but on rewatch even 2 is a massive step down. 1 had an actual plot with great comedy woven in throughout, 2 was 90% unconnected gag scenes.
2 and 3 both have some decent bits, but they aren’t in the same league as 1.
>Made for 16-25 year old's
You're a fricking moron. Everyone enjoyed the Austin Powers movies. You must be a zoomer talking out of xis ass.
>there is absolutely no way this ends up good. it has potential to be cringe kino though.
It could be great if they parody the whole Craig era of the franchise. If they just make fun of the old films again yeah it's gonna be stale bullshit.
YEAH BABAY YEEEAAAHH
The only way is to make it ABOUT him being old and embrace it fully. No mojo etc.
Id watch it. Him being cranky about people touching his thermostat. Dick only works some days, his strong English teeth mostly fallen out...lol
YEAH BABY
The first movie is very much about him being old and out of touch, just not physically old. So it wouldn't be a big departure.
I think you mean no way it gets good reviews. The first movie is essentially a tame version of misogynistic man meets 3rd wave feminism and a bunch of fish out of water jokes.
its just freshly baked slop to keep the license.
I hope 60 percent of it is set in Britain and the series gets some of the outlandishness of their cartoons and postcards.
I'm pretty sure that's just Casino Royale(1967)
I will look into that now, honestly at this point can a Spider-Man 4 pronouncement be far away?
It won't happen, they'll just keep rebooting it and making new series forever.
Casino Royale is extremely fun. It's a really high-budget shitpost
What the frick did they mean by this
what is implied by that pic
The Pentaverate was hilarious, no reason this shouldn't be worthy.
>comedy movie in the new dark ages
It's doomed from the start. Should've looked to anchorman 2 and zoolander 2 as examples of why they shouldn't bother.
They're also bringing back Happy Gilmore.
And on Netflix at that. Brace yourself for interracial relationships and at least one homosexual relationship or troony inserted actor
I am fine with sandler having an unsimulated sex scene with a Black person
>I am fine with sandler having an unsimulated sex scene with a Black person
Picrel
oldspice guy is unironically anti-porn irl. he was no fap before it was a meme.
Indeed, from what I've heard Terry Crews is a very decent man
meh, that shit movie was never good
I also had a great idea for Happy Gilmore 2, make it about Shooter McGavin trying to get into the senior PGA tour while Happy and his fans constantly torment him. Make Happy the antagonist and make shooter the main character who tries to earn redemption by maturing as a golfer.
It's netflix though, so it will be an hour of sandler making moron faces while his friends frick around and tell gay jokes.
Zoolander 2 is a thing?
Yep, and it's one of the sequels that outshines the original like Predator 2 or Alien 3
Didn't realise it was Opposite Day
The only problem with zoolander 2 is that it centers around his fat son for half the movie. Just do the same thing as the first one. Every generic sequel should just be a 80% rehash of the first one time gapped enough that it's semi fresh
they should just invent the HypnoToad and be done with it. none of this crap is worth the effort or the billions of man-hours zonked out in watching it
Anchorman 2 wasn't shit and called out CNN's and other fake news bullshit before everything went downhill.
Anchorman 2 was fricking terrible
Anchorman 2 wasn’t that bad, never understood all the hate it gets
It's like Ghostbusters 2: It's actually perfectly fine, it's just that the first movie has already happened and the lightning has already been caught, so it's not as "good"/big/iconic/etc.
The difference is that anchorman and zoolander were never funny.
He's been "working" on this movie since 2008. It'll never happen.
This. Though the same could be said about Beverly Hills Cop 4 and it’s finally coming out this year
And looks fricking awful. No one wants to see all those characters we remember now old, its unnatural & corny. It won't be remembered, trust me.
Zooms riding on the coattails of the 80s/90s is sad af. That was our kino, can't you make your own??
old characters playing the same goddamn jokes because everyone is looking through nostalgia goggles at awful old films
Zoomers look through the goggles at our times in the 80s and 90s because this current time is so demoralizing, oppressive and intrusive they cant stand being in their own lives or generation. They hate themselves just like millenials who looked back at the 50/60s as a magical gem while the boomers raped their asses
In what world are "zoomers" the ones making these movies?
Only if it's a full length version of the Tom Cruise film
Worst film of the three but the opener is one of the best scenes of the entire trilogy.
ru kidding? listening to them say "yeah baby" and "oh behave" was cringe as frick
That’s the joke. also it’s cringe when Austin says it too.
you had to be there at the time, EVERYONE was saying that shit so it was funny to see recognizable faces joining in
no no, Goldmember was actually the best of the trilogy, but mistaking it for the worst is a common midwit/lowwit mistake on here
1st one is spy comedy at heart
2nd is straight forward James Bond parody
3rd is unintentional parody of Austin Powers
Prove me wrong homosexual
1st one is spy comedy at heart (wow, that's some deep deconstruction there, and you have 1 and 2 mixed up here)
2nd is straight forward James Bond parody (see above, oh and 2 was an unfunny cash-grab rushed to theaters following the unexpected success of 1, and it rehashes jokes from the 1st)
3rd is unintentional parody of Austin Powers (you can think this if you want but you're alone on this hill)
Prove me wrong homosexual
>Prove me wrong homosexual
take a break from here, anon, beside it's all subjective so there's nothing you've said that can be proven or disproven (but it is the midwit take)
it was the best musically, but the very tired repeat joke recalls to past jokes, that moronic subtitle joke that went on for three minutes when you understood it from the first line, goldmember is just an awful character. i'm also biased since i saw the first two years before the third came out, while most people only saw the 3rd
1>2>3
Ikr I laughed EVEN HARDER when they straight-up repeated the shadow gag from the 2nd movie, and the scenes when Goldmember peels off his skin and eats it or whatever, absolutely hilarious.
>and the scenes when Goldmember peels off his skin and eats it or whatever, absolutely hilarious.
Cool it with the anti-Richard Stallman remarks.
It was great seeing it in theaters when everyone knew the actors and cheered but when I show it to people now they’re just confused.
It didn't travel well culturally. At least with Blazing Saddles, it's a cultural watershed. What the frick is this? Just providing pomo "humor" directed by Gen X gays that would be eventually be the entire force behind cultural collapse bc they were finally paid to shit on white men and white culture forever. When is the black American gonna go through that? morons shit the bed for decades but the best we ever got was Friday? With a black dad as head of household? Buncha fantasy land sissies left now.
TOM CRUISE IS
MIKE MYERS
IN THE BODY OF AUSTIN POWERS
Ted Danson
as Brian
as Tom Cruise
as Mike Myers
as Austin Powers
in Austin Powers 4
I can't unsee the middle tooth
Neither could Mike Myers. There's a subtle genius in Goldmember.
this is was the highpoint of Goldmember for real. its legit well done, fun, and gets you invested.
>hey buttholes!
>devito as mini me
will he be back?
>When the actor has a higher kill count IRL than the character he's playing
HEY butthole
He's too busy with the Peter Five franchise.
Who will be cast as the woman of color who does most of the stuff in the movie
They already did that with beyonce in goldmember before it was cool and fake and gay.
Beyonce is hot so it's ok
god it's gonna be 80s bullshit
I'm guessing for this one they will play upon the late-period Roger Moore Bond flick "Octopussy", maybe call it... I don't know, hard to get more low-key vulgar than that.
Badonkabussy
>Austin got frozen again after Goldmember.
>Wakes up in modern 2024
>Remake it with Austin learning about the modern world
>Tries to embrace the changes and adapt again
>Eventually realizes this is all bullshit and goes anti woke
>New Villain is Scott
>Scott embraces more of Number 2s ideas of corporate evil
>The woke agenda is all his plan to control and ruin things
It would be better to do a reboot about a spy from the raunchy 90s being unfrozen in the puritan 2020s
what is puritan about the modern age? women are bawdtier than ever just with less men.
Like everything else nowadays it's Schrodinger's Purity.
>male urges and sexuality: pure evil
>female urges and sexuality: powerful and amazing
>women are bawdtier than ever just with less men
the definition of puritanism
*punches a troony in the face*
>Austin, you can't hit a troony, that's a hate crime!
>thats no troony, thats a woman, man
Jay Roach made Little Fockers
If they mock the current state of comedy this could be great.
I want it to happen if he gets Elizabeth Hurley back and puts her in kinky outfits.
Fat Bastard will be renamed Plus-sized Bastard.
>healthy at any size bastard
Alotta gayina will be replaced with Alotta Subscribas
>Alotta Subscribas suffers a goofy death like falling off a cliff or into a pool full of piranhas or getting hit by a car or something
>Austin: "Unsubscribed, baby."
austin powers in current year is 80 years away from austin powers austin powers over 30 years
If he goes all in and attacks all things woke, it could be hysterical.
There is a slight chance that it is a take on the Craig era, but that seems hard to do well.
Have you seen the Pentaverate? Hems a cum guzzling leftist moron through and through, it will be woke nonsense with Dr. Evil acting like Trump
How...? Mike Myers is old as frick. I feel like any jokes will be stale as hell and there will be wokeness added to try and draw in the masses. Beyonces character fit the context of the stronk afro american woman of the time and place. I dont think we can have that anymore. Im fairly certain it will have a bunch of gay/trans shit in there no one wants to see anymore.
Also considering that, have you noticed how much normies are starting to wake up about the gay shit they are being forcefed all the time. For a culture of people that believe in "acceptance" its amazing how fast they have started to wear out their welcome in such a short period of time..
>have you noticed how much normies are starting to wake up about the gay shit they are being forcefed all the time. For a culture of people that believe in "acceptance" its amazing how fast they have started to wear out their welcome in such a short period of time..
Something something that one episode of South Park where Mr. Garrison and Mr. Slave teach everyone the difference between "tolerance" and "acceptance"...
>pull the emergency switch
Looks pretty good for his age, really. Full head of hair, nice average face. Don't wish to see another flick twenty years too late that no one wants. We already had Austin Powers 4. It was called "The Love Guru".
Why not just do a sequel to So I Married an Axe Murderer where the chick gets out of jail and Cape Fears him?
... and that's a good thing!
Why can trannies literally never stop talking about sex in any capacity?
They have short lifespan to enjoy all the gender euphoria anon
>trannies literally never stop talking about sex in any capacity?
They are insane, and should be segregated from society and institutionalized for treatment.
Because their entire identity starts and ends with their sexual fetish
Because they can never find real love, someone who actually cares about them & what they think & feel, so the best they can hope for is to be a basic cum dumpster
they're just (more) mentally ill gays. some gays have 5000 partners in a lifetime.
but there's only like 200 of them in the whole world so who cares
Imagine:
>Changing your hairstyle, wardrobe, name, pronouns, speech pattern, etc.
>Alienating most of your family and friends
>Taking drugs that wreak havoc on your body
>Getting surgeries that mutilate your genitals and face
>Forcing an object into an open wound in your crotch every single day
>Accumulating hundreds of thousands in debt to do all of the above
All for the sake of your fetish.
And you have the gall to ask why they think about sex all the time. A troony's life is nothing but thinking about sex. His fetish is is raison d'etre. He ruins then ends his life all for it.
People ask why trannies are so influential online when there are so few of them. The answer is obsession. They are obsession incarnate. The core function of every troony is to satiate his fetish. He makes his life and body a temple to it. He forces those around him to acknowledge it. He spreads it to impressionable young people.
The life of a transexual is one of zealous devotion to a singular purpose.
It would be impressive if it wasn't so horrifying.
superlative bait
Everything these freaks say makes them more and more hateable, how do they do it?
Jesus. I swear LGBTQXYZLMNOZ people are really that selfish arent they..
it's comorbid(kek) with narcissism. no memeing. they overlap. it's just extreme selfness, brought on by trauma/autism
>these people are claiming that “woke” is a meaningless term
>ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME
>THAT'S A MAN BABY
do people on twatter screenshot posts from nobodies on here then get angry about them?
Posting twitter and redddddit trash should be a bannable offense on this forsaken site.
That's a Tumblr post, moron.
>knowing the difference
you are the cancer that has killed Cinemaphile.
Yes, all the time. The are entire youtube channels dedicated to getting angry at Cinemaphile.org.
If they rebooted Austin Powers he would be frozen in 1994 and be a Madchester raver.
I hate trannies so much it’s unreal
The troon kind of makes a good point. Remakes can be horrendously unfunny, like Zoolander 2 or Anchorman 2.
Austin Powers movie could compare the 90s with the current woke era and have very tongue in cheek takes on this or that issue, including troons. This would be an excellent plot point with potential if done right.
But, it's not going to happen, of course, first because no one in hollywood is really talented enough to write a decent funny script any more and, dare I say it, the "woke" take their own screed super seriously and would never dare make fun of it.
MacGruber TV series is actually pretty funny
never saw Macgruber sketches but the movie was far better than i expected from SNL
sketches on SNL started in 2007, the movie was in 2010 and the TV series in 2021. long stretch between series and movie but i thought it was on par
>Austin, I'd like you to meet your new partner, Anna Conda; an expert in disguises, she can easily enter enemy territory undetected, and is deadly with close range weapons
>>*Austin immediately punches her in the face, knocking her to the ground*
>Good God Austin! what are you doing to her, man!
>>That's no her, man, that's a he! *pulls off her wig*
can scientists with integrity announce the lgbt is a mental illness already?
lol. it always was. until very recently. they herald that as an historical justice. an alarming number are the result of trauma. it's actually kinda sad
>scientists with integrity
I think you get weeded out of the university system before you get your diploma if you show any real integrity.
mental illness
Why is there a 100% correlation between being transgender and having an unhealthy and inappropriate obsession with sexual perversion? (I already know the answer)
>trans women means more women he can shag
>confused_bird_we_just_dont_know.gif
>trans women
>women he can shag
Its qually disturbing that they have no idea how heterosexual men who like to frick around with women actually like vegana
I just dont think they can do the same type of humor that made Austin Powers movies. It doesnt work with todays audiences unfortunately. They will try, but tip toe to be PC and ruin their own jokes. Or just rehash of the last movies
>Scott, now the new Dr. Evil, realized he couldn’t kill Austin with guns or bullets
>Instead invents Cancel Culture to destroy Austin once and for all
I can write a better movie than they will, where’s my money
Be great. Id watch it. He gets canceled halfway through the movie doing his regular antics and the movie just ends. Would be great actually
>1993 to 2000
>no cold war
>no terrorism
>no race riots
>computers and internet advancing rapidly but not atomizing society
>no problem with gays or blacks or sex and no excessive degeneracy
>economy booming
>everyone was in a chill place
>freedom and responsibility, a cracking time
>Austin Powers is set 30 years after 1967, when Austin Powers entered stasis
>it has now been 27 years
soon we will all be Austin Powers
I want to go back but I know that world is gone forever and it’s only going to get worse.
I just wish there were some way it could be better.
You have to be the change you want to see. I thought for the longest I couldn't do or say certain things anymore. I thought others cared or would judge me. Some may. I'm not trying to be edgy or anything - as soon as I reintroduced the words "Black person" and "homosexual" into my regular vocabulary things improved. For me. None of my friends and family cared. Coworkers didn't either but I'm obviously cautious there.
I don't hate blacks or gays really but being comfortable enough to really talk about things helps. Most people aren't bad and I think collectively we've stifled ourselves for a long time. It was well intentioned but it wasn't good for any of us.
take your meds
Naw, I ain't a troony either
Perhaps you should take yours or start living a little
>1993 to 2000
>Gotta start in 1993 to ignore the Rodney King Riots of the 1990s
Why do you have to be so dishonest?
he deserved it. and got OJ off. ironically that's exactly where things went off the rails
now that's an interesting reboot. Mike Myers is unrecognizably old and apparently not funny anymore, but an Idiocracy type of that 70s show thing or that Brendan Fraser Blast from the Past would be interesting.
he did another one like that didn't he? Encino Man.
do a 90s version of Encino Man. or hell Pleasantville did it too.
do that but opposite. happy go lucky 90s, then y2k and 9/11 all at once and then they're in a black and white dystopian hellscape and try to "get back"
>no problem with gays
They're so unpopular that even Obama ran against gay marriage, gay shit is extremely recent.
90s were better in overall quality of life, but you forgot:
>Rodney King
>OJ
>School bussing of ghetto blacks entering its final phase
>Waco
>Ruby Ridge
>Overall government crackdown on "anti-government extremists"
>OKC Bombing
>The passing of several Counter Terrorism acts by congress that later formed the basis of the Patriot Act
>Columbine
>Yugoslavia break up and bombings of Serbia
>First Gulf War
>Multiple escalations and bombing of Iraq through the 90s
>First and Second Congo Wars which killed millions (okay no one cared about that one then or now, lmao)
>The cringy "self-esteem" movement
>The late 90s music industry crashing and being consolidated into a few corporate entities
>Gays and feminism being heavily pushed in mainstream by movies and politicians
>Rap being pushed and dominating suburbia
>Rappers literally starting gang wars by writing diss tracks
>Moral panics (these were justified in retrospect but done in the most obnoxious and alienating way imaginable that only made the situation worse)
>Overall early 90s crimewave
>Overall cuckery in masculine behavior (hey it's the 90s...)
But yeah baby, I do agree, we are all essentially unfrozen Austin Powers now.
2000s and 90s were great decades that were also plagued with real life problems, but were still culturally remembered
>Overall cuckery in masculine behavior (hey it's the 90s...)
Men were more masculine in the 90s than they are today.
True, but that's when the big push to feminize men really took off.
>"Of course I'm not going to fight you, I'm calling a lawyer and taking you to court. It's the 90s."
Thats true too. Emasculation of men really started hard in th 90s. When before if you had problems you could take it outside and beat that ass. Or get your ass beat and have some humble pie after
>Warner Bros and New Line are partnering for this one, which has, quite secretly, been in development for, at least, a year now.
this is the worst sentence i've read in months, maybe years
hire a fricking editor god damn
Austin gets ipad
Austin discovers VR porn and sex machines.. never leaves the house again..
>It's been reported that Austin Powers 4 has a release date of 2025
>a few months prior to release Warner has pulled the movie
>they will now delete it and use it as a tax write off
>Mike Myers dies
>his last movie is erased from existence
>Zaslav gives himself a raise
OH BEHAVE
how will they top this moment
How will they ruin the callback?
>no, watch baby, it'll be a great bit, i yell "stop" in panic like i'm going to be smooshed instantly even though it's moving slowly, yeah
>austin it's a bullet train get off the tracks
Heh
It'll be someone dropped their iphone and someone else is running over the phone slowly, and the punchline will be about how he should've had a nokia because those things were indestructible.
There will be a big lever with a picture of a rabbit and a picture of a turtle, and Austin will notice the steamroller has been set to "turtle" the whole time. Then he'll look at the camera and do a funny face.
>that kid who kept yelling 'GET IN MAH BELLEH' for years afterwards
I like Heather Graham.
Hottest AP girl was Robin Swallows (Formerly Spitz)
the hottest girl was in the first one, she was a blonde hippie in the weird transitions they did, she had body paint and was wearing a bikini
I prefer Alotta gayina
she's still got it
I remember when Fat Mike Myers put on the Dr Evil suit again after a decade, just to make Trump jokes
Let me guess, Austin passes his 'groovy' mantle to some brown chick, because he's old, and out of touch, and the new generation needs to take the reigns, and that's ' totally shagadelic, baby.'
>austin, you've got to go back in time to the three previous movies and insert yourself with modern day CGI!
>Austin! We have been led to believe that Scott Evil has partnered with Donald Trump in taking over the world! You must stop the orange menace and Dr. Evil's incel son! Godspeed, Austin.
Watch the Pentaverate and you would know I won't be far off.
Regardless of where you stand on the political spectrum, Donald Trump destroyed comedy for the past almost decade. This movie will be nothing but references to LE EVIL ORANGE MAN.
Trump made it so it's PROBLEMATIC to poke fun at...anything?
i really, liked, reading this absolutely broken, gramtically insulting, quintessentially, millenial, twitter post of an article, hook.
Make it happen.
AUSTIN POWERS vs MASTER OF DISGUISE
This fricking thing. So we're finally gonna wheel everyone out? How old is Michael Caine? Oh, 91? Beyonce? (she won't do this). Hurley? (58 officially, 62 most likely). Graham? (supposedly) 54. Myers? 61. Why would you make this? Seems like a Gen X humiliation ritual at this point.
I wouldnt give a frick about anything at 91 honestly. Literally just let me get high, enjoy final moments with family and die peacefully..
Liz Hurley wore THAT dress 30 years ago. She was not over 30 then.
michael caine was in 1 film
beyonce was in 1 film
hurley was in 1 film
graham was in 1 film
why would any of them need to come back for another film?
you didnt even mention actual recurring characters portrayed by michael york, seth green, and robert wagner who were in all 3 films
they will have to address the death of mini-me
ALCHTULLAY Hurley is in 2
yeah but it was just a 1 scene setup and unnecessary
Sweeney's time
>they will have to address the death of mini-me
They should recast him with Peter Dinklage
If they cast him with warwick and had him beaten to death for 30 minutes straight I would see the movie 100 times in theater
fascinating
vern troyer was born on jan 1 1969
dinklage june 11 1969
warwick davis feb 3 1970
i never would have guess they were all basically the same age and mini-me is was the youngest
>they will have to address the death of mini-me
He's a clone. He also betrayed Dr Evil in the end of goldmember didn't he?
vern troyer is dead anon
I know, I was just saying his absence would be very easy to explain.
Quads
Sorry pal, you did it wrong
It would be pretty slick if they’d make the fourth one a parody of a modern, Daniel Craig type, James Bond movie.
Lol the dark side of Austin Powers? We dont need any more dark gritty adaptations of stuff people grew up with depressing them any further. We just went through the biggest demoralization campaign ever with covid etc
These fricking people will have a skeleton dancing around on a jossled stick forever before they let go of a property. Just look at Christ.
Imagine if they parody the trend of late sequels/soft reboots where they tear down the old protagonist.
I’d actually enjoy that a lot
if they did this + took the piss out of Daniel Craig's Bond it could be kino
God imagine they have a diverse group of new super spies replacing powers who try to come off as superior and they just continuously put their foots in their mouths
This actually feels like a powers movie in concept
So how would they parody that exactly?
Use your imagination, what a gay question
Have Austin/Mike break the 4th wall and vow to take down the producers.
i loved all 3 films but his pentaverate series was so bad i dont have high hopes for ap 4
Its just another pathetic money grab to set up for a "reboot" Austin powers with someone else. They never had to do it with Bond. The next Bond just became the next 007 from vetting, then he became that iconic role.
Mike Myers cant continue the role. There is going to be someone else or they will suggest it to keep the cash cow going..if the movie does ok maybe. I dont suspect it will. Most people that grew up watching this still likes the originals but has moved past its humor base. So all you get are frustrated fans with bland same old jokes with woke shit or people who have never seen it and dont get it.. an entire generation has been born and grown up without knowing Austin Powers
Only 20 years late
>that's not your birthing person baby
>that's a xherman, xherman
No, this is definitely going to happen, because Myers is going to do the one thing nobody wants and use Dr. Evil as a Trump stand in. He's going to run for "Evil President" and be completely confused because, despite promising things like "If I become president, I will shoot innocent people in the street" or "If I become president, I will nuke every major United States city," he's the most popular candidate by far.
>"I don't understand, Number 2. I keep saying I'm going to do horrible things and I keep getting more votes."
>"I don't understand it myself, Dr. Evil. They're saying something about 'telling it like it is,' but I don't really get what that means in this context."
>"They say I've the bests interests of America at heart..."
>"LIES! ALL LIES!"
>"...Yes, thank you, Frau."
Austin will have the Luke Skywalker/Indiana Jones/Nick Fury "former hero is now sad failure" plot where he can't do anything to stop Dr. Evil because he's not actually cheating the election, he's getting voted for fair and square. Also, Mini-Me will now be played by Peter Dinklage who doesn't play him like Verne Troyer did AT ALL (he's basically an entirely new character aside from the name and the costume) and ALL the other characters are visibly uncomfortable around him now.
It probably will be something as hackneyed as this. Truth be told, as inconsistent as the first three films are, they captured a moment in time. Turn of the millennium audiences could enjoy a breezy comedy with some low brow humour done well. The Bond parody aspect also likely won't land like it did back then because zoomers really don't care about Bond or have any frame of reference towards it.
>The Bond parody aspect also likely won't land like it did back then because zoomers really don't care about Bond or have any frame of reference towards it.
Why do you think we're so illiterate culturally? Bond is one of those grandfathered in things like Star Wars.
Daniel Craig is a grandad at this stage, and that's their predominant frame of reference. He has zero mojo by comparison.
I'm just saying that James Bond amongst people our age is one of those things so well-known and universal that everybody recognizes knows it when they see it, even if they've never seen anything Bond in their entire life.
Dinklage would never do Mini-Me.
I'm picturing him wearing the outfit, but acting a classy-yet-snobby individual, smoking cigars, drinking whiskey, etc. And every time someone tries to treat him like old Mini-Me, he just glares angrily at them until they change their mind, or just outright yells at them (Dinklage's Mini-Me would talk). He'd have this whole "You're lucky I'm even here right now" air about him.
Hell, maybe they could even do a plot where Mini-Me has passed away and Dr. Evil has kidnapped famous actor Peter Dinklage to act as a replacement for him.
>dr evil is retired in a little cottage in the countryside, watering the flowers
>camera pans over to a small gravestone: Mr Bigglesworth
>next to it is an even smaller grave: Mini-Me
>next to it is an even smaller grave: Mini-Mr Bigglesworth
I would actually start crying.
It could work as a parody of the last three Bond films considering how heavily they leaned into Bond being too old and outdated for the job. Film everything with the same slick, overproduced camera work and unnecessary color grading. Austin gets blown to pieces at the end and replaced by a black, crippled homosexual stealing his identity.
>It could work as a parody of the last three Bond films considering how heavily they leaned into Bond being too old and outdated for the job. Film everything with the same slick, overproduced camera work and unnecessary color grading. Austin gets blown to pieces at the end and replaced by a black, crippled homosexual stealing his identity.
I need this.
We should turn the term "woke" back onto them. Realizing their mental insanity and ousting them. Thats what they fear. People becoming aware of their activities
Only the first one was funny, yeah I rewatched them recently
I want to have sex with a young afro Beyonce
Interesting. I want to have sex with 1999 Heather Graham.
for me its 41 yo mimi rogers in 1997
Personally, it's picrel for me, Alotta gayina herself.
Ah the classic 20 years too late sequel. Hoping for a top gun but most likely a Zoolander 2
Finally
I already know it's about Austin being a chud, even though the series is about making fun of Bond flicks.
>Sequence in the middle of the movie where Austin is sad from learning how old and out of touch he is in 2024.
>Austin: "Crikey, I can't believe how sad and out of touch I am... Wait a tick, wasn't this the plot of my first movie?"
>Love Interest: "Yeah, but soft reboots are all the rage these days, so that's fine."
>Austin shrugs and goes back to having his existential crisis.
They literally had a guy look straight into the camera and tell the audience time travel doesn’t matter.
The good solution is basically this blunt. “Haha I’m old and these late sequels suck, now let’s get on with it”.
Not that I think it could redeem itself. But they could try.
Prediction: Powers dies at the end, like Craig, being hit by a giant wiener-shaped missile.
Mike really shouldn't. The Inglorious Bastards cameo was good enough of a sendoff
he was in bohemian rhapsody 9 years later though
Screw Austin powers. Give us a NOLF movie with Cate Archer.
you will live long enough to watch all the good content from your childhood remade/rebooted into a zombified, current year accessible, safe humor, safe horny, wokified amorphous slop
>Austin, where did your new partner Strongin D. Pendant go?
>Well, Basil, it's the strangest thing! I asked her one of them hypotheticals about being alone with a bear or a man and the bird actually went with the bear, the silly bugger! Well, I thought I'd be a gentleman and respect her decision! So I left her alone in the woods with a grizzly and the darn thing ripped her to shreds, it did!
>Good heavens, Austin! That's the third bloody girl we've lost this week and they've all been to bear attacks!
>Couldn'ta been me, Basil. I don't mind having a shag with some shag carpet.
Goldmember was bad and everything after that was unheard of levels of awful. Don't bother
Goldmember was better than Spy Who Shagged Me, though.
Most of the celeb shit was cringe though. The Tom Cruise/Kevin Spacey bit was okay for a gag opening but by the time they got to Elvis Costello and Burt Bacharach many minutes later it went on far too long
>Goldmember has a couple bad jokes!
And Spy Who Shagged Me has a couple good jokes. Goldmember is still a better movie.
it just won’t be the same without mini me
The first movie was a 60's swinger feeling outdated in the 90's.
A sequel/reboot being that again for a 90's/early 2000's playboy in the 2020's could work i guess. But i feel like the whole "old timer" being faced against the new age of politics/culture has been done already and would feel too generic.
I mean cmon we can all see the scene where he says "that's a man baby" to a troony and gets checked on it.
You know when comedians like Jerry Seinfeld, John Clease and Jim Davidson say about some stuff meaning comedy isn't funny anymore this is the stuff they think is hilarious:
?si=HNcSDBnZp4281XNe
How dare those solids try to ruin comedy by not having literally this in their sitcoms and comedy films?
I cant decide if 2 is better than 1. I think the first movie has the best moments but 2 is more consistently funny overall.
Also Heather Graham made my pp hard back then and still does to this day
Each of the three movies has some genius top notch physical comedy gags, so it's hard to put any one of them down as worst.
I've said before the time is ripe for 00's nostalgia and Austin Poweres could easily simply be a self parody.
Mike myers is like 65 years old. This is going to be an "old jaded mentor gets blacksplained to by their new diverse supporting cast" scenario. He'll be replaced by a shaggadelic and empowered white woman daughter so she can get blacked by one of the afformentioned new supporting cast members.
This is sadly more than likely going to be the case. Another reboot 20 years after a series should have been done. So they can "pass the torch" to some diverse young zoomer cast. More than likely a new Austin Powers will be a woman. Which doesnt work unless they make her a huge bawd..but no one wants to watch a woman bawdting her way around
If this isn't the music played in the trailer, there will be hell to pay https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpYeekQkAdc
I wonder if it will have a focus upon how 'serious' spy fiction has become.
Craig Bond, female / ethnic diverse successor characters, cinematic universes, and multiverses all seem like things that it could try to parody. Though I suspect it probably won't really touch any of them, as the thinking will probably be that it is safer just to rehash what was done and proven before rather than have any real shift.
fsr I'm imagining a poster would feature Scotty done up to look like Steve Jobs while Austin and Dr. Evil have outfits based off the Abbey Road album cover
I think Austin Powers 4 needed to be made in the late-2000s/early-2010s when the like of Jason Bourne and Daniel Craig Bond would be its contemporaries.
>Craig Bond, cinematic universes, and multiverses
The risk with those is we seem to be moving past them if not already having done so. Cinematic universes aren't what they once were. People have soured on multiverses - to the point that even late stage of parody seems over. Craig Bond is finished: perhaps it could focus upon how there hasn't been a classic Bond in two decades, with the angle being Austin Powers is partly responsible for that and it could also echo the first film about Austin being a man of out time. I could also see some parody of superheroes (which obviously have the cinematic universes and multiverse association) however, once again that is something it will be too late to the party to relevantly or interestingly parody.
>female / ethnic diverse successor characters
Could cause a shitstorm it may just want to avoid.
Yeah that would have prolly been the timeframe to do it. But now its too little too late. Best to let things die
>Dr. Evil is remaking the first three films so that they are less problematic, is being paid one hundred quadrillion Venezuelan dollars by a mysterious contractor to do so
>Austin needs to sabotage the film-making process by disguising himself as the actor playing himself to go undercover and be as overly sexual as possible
>Mysterious contractor is 'Fat b***h'
Why do you want the new film to be a reboot that ignores the events of Goldmember
>Fat b***h is revealed to be Oprah
After Anchorman 2 and Dumb and Dumber To I learned my lesson. I haven't watched a reboot or sequel to something I like ever since and I never will again.
>Austin Powers vs. Palestine
Being frank, Goldmember was the weakest by far, I have no hope for 4. Its a torrent and watch at best.
I dont think Austin could survive in this world if the 90s were too much for him
I'm actually eager to see this just to see how bad it's going to be. Word is Mike is a douchebag off set, and no one knows how to make a comedy in this era. I will be watching though.
Good luck and God Speed. If there's a troony in it I will probably kill myself tho jfyi.
Well if it’s got a kino musical number at the start and they play it cool with the Cameos it could be pretty good. I doubt he would be making it for the money considering shrek. He probably thinks no one makes funny movies anymore so he’s logically gonna play it like the early 2000s. Honestly if Austin powers doesn’t land with you in2024 it’s not gonna land ever. It was extremely quotable which is why it had such staying power in the public. People don’t do that anymore
He's not going to be able to help himself making pop cultural references.
Although, he could do a "it's not the 90s anymore" theme.
Like, 1962-1998 is 36 years, 1998 +36, we're getting there.
austin powels 4: dr evil get ipad
>stay mum
why the frick does "stay mom" mean to keep a secret???
OI ME FEEL LOIK TALKIN BOUT SOMETHIN, MEANS ME LEAVIN' DA
>Mum's the word is a popular English idiom. It is related to an expression used by William Shakespeare, in Henry VI, Part 2.[1]
>The word "mum" is an alteration of momme, which was used between 1350 and 1400 in Middle English with very close to the same meaning, "be silent; do not reveal".
Honestly he should go the Borat route and do gonzo filmmaking with these characters in public places.
You know where Austin thinks he's being coy and covert but stands out. Or Dr. Evil shares too much of his plan publicly. Like a bakesale to raise money to build an evil death ray.
>Number Two, you say you've seen a popular TikTok of a young Black girl selling cupcakes on the street and she raised over 50 dollars in 10 minutes? Gentlemen, this is our plan...
>Cuts to Dr Evil in his Nehru suit in black pigtails being led into the back of a cop car while hoodrats are hooting and hollering filming the incident and Frau is screaming that "she can't breathe" while being arrested