Nolan directs the biopic.
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Nolan directs the biopic.
Nolan directs the biopic.
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Would anyone go to such efforts to find you?
I think it would take at least 2 weeks for anyone to realise I was missing or dead, probably longer.
Get a job
billionaire onboard
Was he against The Fed?
how I've adored
I kind of hope they save them for the news kino and inevitable kino kino
I hope they fricking die as a lesson to all the other millionaire tourists that do this kind of moronic shit.
I just hope they die because it's funny
Yeah, because Everest works so well.
You know how people on this board spend all day looking at pictures of pretty female celebrity feet and collecting those pictures of female feet and jerking off to them? Well maybe that’s what the titanic is to these guys, and they had the means to go see it. It’s like they’re footgays at the Cannes yachts paying to get a foot job from Demi Moore, except when they cum from the footjob they have a heart attack and die. That’s basically what’s happening here, except instead of a foot job they are going to die at the bottom of the ocean. But at least they died chasing their dream.
I hope they live and continue to spend money funding this type of deep sea exploration technology. I know they died though, unfortunately. I really don't know what their endgame was getting into an underwater carbon fiber can controlled by a Logitech controller though, but I'm sure they had their reasons.
Exploring is a white thing, you wouldn't understand.
You sound like the kind of guy who falls for all the tourist traps when you travel
>70-96 hours of oxy left
>article is 48 hours old
They're gonna find it when there's only 5 mins left.
>250k a seat
>Here's your controller, bro
So did the batteries die?
>thought this was a shitpost
>look up sub
>this is the actual fricking controller
What the frick were they expecting to happen
>tfw nobody brought batteries for the wireless madcatz controller
and now they're all going to die
>Mum said it's my turn to die in the sub
Imagine dying inside a million dollar bionicle canister
Wait WHAT?? THESE are the guys stuck down there right now? With a third party Pelican 360 controller as the steering???????
This can’t be real
>"hold me controller bro"
>hands you that
>"wtf is this lmao"
>tosses controller to the back of the sub, shattering it
>"bro, that was the real controller bro"
>"bros...."
>water level
Triplets confirm, the controller did it
Nice dubs, they deserve it.
Checked
$250K for a trip and get lost
>bunch of corporate israelites and poos get flushed with the Titanic
good
>titanic 2 involves james cameron rescuing a stranded submersible from the wreckage itself
hollywood really needs to stop with the shitty sequels
If they die they can sell tours to their wrecked sub. Like a special edition, Titanic and Submarine wreck combo.
dead men sell no tours
SHIVER MY TIMBERS SHIVER MY SHORES
did they try calling it?
I'd totally watch a movie where the people on this sub team up with George clooneys character from a perfect storm to battle aliens on the bottom of the oceam
Oh yeah and Leo Dicaprio plays jack from titanic who has only aged 30 years in the last hundred because alien experimentation
>aliens
I'd watch it they are against Titanic's cthonic spirit.
X-COM chads report in
>aliens
CNN: Shahzada Dawood is a trustee of the SETI Institute in California, according to a biography published on its website.
Shit just got interesting.
Dawood and his son are Muslim, so they have defo done some praying since this all went down. What's really interesting to think about however is the fact that they have no idea what direction points towards Mecca. That must be incredibly disconcerting, especially when your essentially praying for your life, and up until this point, you have ALWAYS known which direction Mecca is. And with his son too? Sucks bros
But because earth is round, their prayers always fly off into space before reaching Mecca. All the flat-earthers you see on here are just desperately coping muslims.
Lmfao
>Communications lost
>3/4s way to the bottom
>Hasn't floated to the surface yet
They're paste.
>Cameron and Nolan both in deep sea submersibles getting raw stock footage of the sub wreck
Perfect gif
This is my biggest nightmare. Imagine suffocating to death after 3 days of complete agony being stuck in a metal coffin, knowing that no one is coming.
This. I feel like the “we’re totally mounting a rescue mission!” is to save face. “We did everything we could.” They gave up as soon as they got the s.o.s. that the sub sunk.
Imagine volunteering to ride in a metal coffin, and paying $250,000 for the privilege.
IMAGINE IMAGINE AN A24 MOVIE DIRECTED BY EGGERS WHERE FIVE PEOPLE ARE STRANDED IN A SUBMARINE AND GO CRAAAAAZY
>he doesn't know
Bobby Eggs is in the tourist sub.
5 guys, 96 hours of oxygen. You're chances of survival increase exponentially if you have a few less guys breathing your oxygen. If they're still alive, do you think they're contemplating killing one another for the oxygen?
>kill man for oxygen
>his decaying corpse unleash gases that poison the air
>stuck in a box with some dead guy who voided his bowels all over the deck
Is Musk gonna deploy his anti-pedo sub for this one?
Too busy dabbing on israelites and left Black folk
The fact we have trans kids and not cool, fast submarines like cars underwater anyone can drive really means society is over, it plateaued and is plummeting as we speak.
Elon's not talking about it because the sub team was relying on Starlink for communication.
they are pretty fricked tbh if they did surface which is likely they still can't get out of it since it's bolted from the outside
if they are stuck at the bottom it's unlikely any rescue can happen at all before they run out of air even if they do find them
if the pressure vessel sprung a leak well... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1seOyEbIT8
why? radio doesn't work underwater only sonar/soundwaves
>>>>>can’t open the sub from the inside
I don’t care what dumb fricking precautions they’re taking there that is a DUMB fricking idea there should be an emergency hatch no matter what. If some guy goes insane and blows it then oh well don’t bring insane people on subs and planes
last time he tried to help people every shat on him
so who goes to save the submarine when it sinks?
A second homemade submarine, but with keyboard and mouse controls.
underwater & underrated
PC master race to the rescue.
just go up and breath
jesus how can these people be so stupid
I was gonna say, is taking your chances and swimming to the surface not an option?
I want to believe I'm getting trolled
No. Even going straight up from a depth of 18m is dangerous.
They forgot to add some kinda tracking device?
I'm surprised it wasn't connected to a boat or ship
The titanic is 2 miles downs. Imagine a 2 mile long steel cable in a spool.
Hey guys, I'm on the sub (Not the billionaire though), we have wifi but can only use it to access Cinemaphile! AMA me anything.
First of all, they'll freeze to death before they run out of oxygen.
Second, they aren't suffocating, they were crushed.
>Open the Submarine hate
>Swim up to the surface
>Get rescued
WOOOW SO HARD. What morons.
Jokes aside, it's bolted closed from the outside. Even if it was floating on the surface they'll die if they aren't found in time.
Wtf for what fricking purpose? There’s no hatch??
what use is a hatch. some moron could panic miles underwater and try to open it. they either get found or they die, hatch isnt gonna help much even if they are floating on the surface
>Open a hatch under 1000 times atmospheric pressure
Ok sure thing Hulk
it would take a few hours to swim up the surface and you'll be out of air by then
a better idea would be
open the hach
push the submarine up for a while
enter again to breath
go outside and push/swim up
rinse and repeat
This. 1 person pushes while the others breathe and just rotate.
Do you guys not understand water pressure? Here's some James Cameron kino to explain the concept
Your body is 70% water, your water will counter the outside water
It’s even simpler than that
>hold your breath in the sub
>get out and swim up
>oxygen expands in your lungs as you go upwards
>free air and buoyancy so you barely have to swim
>laugh at the grim reaper as he rattles impotently at your escape from certain death
Holy shit that's genius
why Oppenheimer is going to bomb
you just know one dude has already resorted to rape and murder
Murder I understand but why rape?
no one wants to die a virgin
It's only men aboard the sub.
So?
Homosex isn't losing your virginity.
Your bussy has a virginity
How about I pound that dookiedoor until you sqlorp from your boiclitty, and we'll see if you still feel like a virgin
they're all pink on the inside
because it's 2015
Would you go to Hell if you just killed the other guys? You were like, “Guys, we’re already dead, and I want to know what it’s like to kill.” Is that permissible?
Under whatever weird Vishnu prayer “I am become death” Oppenheimer quote, if you’re doomed on a sunken sub you SHOULD kill your fellow crewman. At least that’s what God implied in that quote.
But how do you know they are virgins?
OH NONONONONONO
Why are you panicking?
I don't understand why they're trying to rescue these frickheads
This is like the Brittney Griner shit.
These people made their frickign bed when they frivolously decided to go to the place that human beings least belong in.
If I was trying to mountain climb into a volcano, and I went missing, they definitely shouldn't fricking send anybody to look for me
Maybe these morons should've sprung the cash for actuall fricking maritime satnav system instead of Elon's shitty Wi-fi
AAAAAAAAAAA MUSK SAVE US
I remember, when I was a kid, it was my dream to build my own submarine.
Thank God for making me a worthless underachiever.
I guess they got the full Titanic experience.
why don't they just use that oxygen to float to the surface? are they stupid?
Why not just sway inside the submarine left and right until it tips over and they can crawl out of it
This, they don’t have a life raft in there? Fricking inflate and away you go. They don’t have those probably for the same reason you aren’t given a parachute when on a plane. (?????????)
>They get to the sub
>Manage to link up (Need it or keep it?) and start rescuing the passengers
>Suddenly the captain of the rescue sub feels a hand on her shoulder
>'Room for a few lost souls?'
>She turns round
>It's Captain Edward Smith with a horde of passengers behind him, not looking like he's aged a day
>The rescue captain raises an eyebrow
>'Not for lost souls...'
>She smiles
>'... But for old friends!'
>Captain Smith chuckles
>'Took you long enough!'
>They load up and head for the surface, celebrating and breaking bread
Underrated fricking post.
So they just assassinated that guy so they could raid his hotel room or whatever right?
What are you talking about? He landed in water, he's fine.
true, he only died after they got him out so technically he landed safely
he falls so gracefully, do you think he understood he was about to die?
Someone please explain WTF is going on in this webm
Little Black person is to dumb to let go of dumb white guy trusting little Black person. Little Black person flies into the air with dumb white guy. Little Black person climbs on dumb white guy and detaches him from the parachute leaving only little Black person. White man dies.
is there a link for this story? why the frick did he go up with him? lol
I love seeing rich white boomers die because of their stupid arrogance
>An Australian man who plunged 40 metres (100ft) to his death on Thai beach caused his own death by unbuckling his parasail harness, equipment operators told police.
>Roger John Hussey, 70, died when he fell into shallow water moments after taking off as his wife and dozens of others watched from the beach.
Yeah I'm sure he unbuckled it himself for no reason whatsoever.
Okay but that's a ballsy/elaborate/moronic way to kill somebody if intentional
>On the beach
>broad daylight
>hundreds of witnesses in the age of cellphones
>rely on pure upper body strength at 100ft to hoist yourself on to a dudes shoulders and fight him to unbuckle the harness
>got arrested anyway
It wasn't on purpose but that bizarre move the handler guy was doing (which is routine but still) likely snapped open the buckle, which was some worn out garbage anyway.
The local cops likely said it was an accident because they don't want the local tourism to suffer.
>caused his own death by unbuckling his parasail harness
It's interesting how every article includes the video but none even mentions why the frick the other guy was climbing onto his back.
I've seen one article that says it was tandem parasailing but the other guy doesn't even have a harness.
Imagine your last moments on this Earth being a brown manlet angrily climbing over your shoulders and fondling your belly looking for the buckle while you wonder just what the frick is going on
This happened in Thailand. He was probably there to have sex with ladyboys. Good riddance.
they always climb:
imagine trusting this little pygmy with your life
my point was that climbing is part of the job for them. its been done for years
ah yes nothing like having another man's nutsack ten centimeters above your head to really take in those Thai sights
>imagine doing this stupid shit in a 3rd world country instead of waiting 10 more years for full dive vr
>POV: You're passengers in that submarine
Imagining this scene in the 2023 remake.
>Titanic TV show
>looks just like a TV adaption of the incident like the movie
>something feels off though and there are weird incidents happening that allude to the coming crash
>season 1 twist
>turns out all the ghosts of the original incident are trapped in a perpetual purgatory that looks like the ship but aren't aware of it except for a few exceptions, like AHS murder house
>season 2 twist
>All the people that died on the submarine trying to explore the titanic end up joining the ship
Could it work?
The trick is for all of them to bunch up on one side of the sub, either the front or the back.
The other side is lighter and tips upwards and then since it's only air on that side it starts to slowly rise. It might take a few hours to get it to rise all the way up to the surface, but what do they have to lose.
No they have to run back and forth like Pirates of the Caribbean to get it rolling like a log back to the surface.
>stuck inside a small pressurized capsule surrounded by water
>little light, possibly no light by now
>limited air running out
>lost at sea
>know you're going to suffocate or die or dehydration
What a nightmare. Horrifying.
Seriously though why does shit like this exist. Why would anyone want to spend a quarter of a million dollars (250,000) to see some rusty metal covered in barnacles like what the frick are we doing here? What a moronic thing. Waste of money, time, resources, effort.
>Be millionaire/billionaire
>Could literally go to ANY Destination on Earth
>"Nah I'd rather be stuck in a tiny little submarine and gawk at crashed ship that killed 1500 people"
I only feel sorry for the guy who was getting paid to pilot the dumb thing.
>feeling sorry for wagies
Chalk this submarine up as another win for NEETs
if they are almost at the bottom, then just push off the bottom with your legs and shoot up to the surface?
Get in, loser. We're going d[iv|y]ing.
I wonder which one snapped first.
QRD?
That's not the same guys. There are some guys stuck in that tube 2 miles underwater and nobody knows exactly where they are. If they're even still alive it would be a miracle, moreso if they get rescued in the next day before they would in theory run out of oxygen.
>no windows
Wait, how do they even view the wreckage?
cameras, probably.
Then why not just send a drone?
All drones have been send to ukraine to make sure Russia is defeated and all ukr males become trannies and pedophiles.
through a camera, it's all prerecorded
they don't even send them down, they just sit in that tube for like 20 hours and the people on the ship pretend they went down. they have some sailors go bloop bloop outside and sway the tube a bit.
but this time the whole tube rolled off the deck and here we are
there is a window
he looks so happy
lets all get in a hollow anal plug and dive 3 miles underwater - who wouldn't enjoy that?
This little rinkydink coca cola can 100% got smashed and slammed
They probably got all expelled out of that tiny window like a wet fart
That's the best case scenario. Much better for it to all be Joever in a fraction of a second of explosive decompression instead of going through mental torture for days then slowly asphyxiating. However, this probably didn't happen. The US military has a vast sonar system to monitor the oceans for submarines. If subs sink or explosively decompress it's very loud and easily detected. They said they haven't picked up any noises like that in their area.
Frick yes! Suffer billionaire technophile bastards!
it would be over for them very quickly
WHAT
YOU JUST EXPLODE
30 FEET
“FRAGMENTATION OF BODY”
That’s actually a different situation where the guys were at super high pressure and then the diving bell was reduced to normal atmospheric pressure, google those names and you can find it
This is way more delta P. Considering how carbon fiber pressure vessels tend to fail it's like a speeding semi hit every inch of their body simultaneously. Reduced to clouds of goo.
>smashed and slammed
x2 PIMPY x3 BAPE
Holy shit. How'd you get a live feed?
Imagine dropping 6 figures to get stuffed inside a Fleshlight and this motherfricker is just there with his dogs out just inches from you
And now you're dying
>light at the bottom of the ocean
Wtf is down there? Pacific Rim portal?
oh god imagine the smell especially as the oxygen starts running thin
Reminds me of this guy
>The man who survived two-and-a-half days trapped on the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean
>Divers were just there to collect bodies thinking no one survived
>suddenly a hand grabs you
This was only 30m down from the surface. The titanic is 3,800m down.
If they paid 250k each to be there, why not just toss all that money overboard (or flush it inside the internal toilet this kind of sub must have). That should give them enough negative buoyance to rapidly rise.
Why not dismantle the sub, turn it into a plane and fly back to land?
This will be one of those constant topics on the internet where autists will try to force a discussion to jack off on it together like that james franco movie and that mccandles guy.
What if someone farts or need to take a shit while in there, full of guys too I assume, hellish.
>pay 250k for a ticket on a small sub
>small sub doesn't even have a tiny backup propeller like one of those on dunce caps from old comic strips that you hand crank to power
All subs should have auxiliary pedals.
don't quit your day job
>Malaysia Fight 370 has a shitty knock off for zoomers
It is at this time that this trick would come in handy.
The water is like really cold.
>The water is like really cold.
Just start a little fire in the air pocket of the flipped canoe.
I imagine tensions are pretty high in that tiny sub.
I wonder what kind of conversations they're having.
Probably typing out and recording messages on their phones. [Spoiler]And leaving one-star reviews.[/Spoiler]
The billionaire is probably complaining that the others aren't killing themselves to preserve his oxygen.
They must be under a lot of pressure.
no
NOOOOO!!!!
this can't be true
i can't believe that THIS is how elon musk dies
he is - was.... - the smartest man in the world, a philanthroper that helped millions, and an epic shitposter that owned libs. if god saves anyone in the sub, it should be elon.
I read that these things have backup signalling equipment and locating equipment
Since those also seem to have failed. There's a good chance it's a total catastrophic failure ie. it imploded
This sub is basically just a tube. It doesn't have shit and was basically like a fancy garage project with no regulations because it's small enough and only operates in international waters.
proper subs have all kinds of locating equipment. this one doesn't even have gps.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_West_Virginia_(BB-48)#Pearl_Harbor
>film gets shitty remake
They really should just move the wreck to an easier to reach location. What were they thinking when they put it two miles beneath the Atlantic? That's hardly prime real estate.
weren't there a bunch of killer whales destroying boats in the north atlantic?
is it possible that some orcas destroyed this thing? if we are at war with whales then we should surrender and let them win
idk but I say let's kill all orcas just to be safe
I was just about to say a bored or as could’ve spotted it and dunked on it
Frick whales lol, absolute menaces everyone rooting for orcas on the internet is moronic
not all whales are Black folk like orcas there are accounts of humpbacks even protecting humans from orcas
Humpbacks fricking hate orcas, though. Chances are they're not protecting humans, they're just fricking over the seaBlack folk and denying them their hunt which just happens to be to our benefit (or any other prey animal)
I’ll change whales to dolphins since orcas aren’t even true whales
frick dolphins, absolute menaces. They drown and rape people constantly but in order to keep tourism up local places don’t give a frick
>orcas aren’t even true whales
Yes they are you fricking brain let. Saying dolphins aren’t whales is like saying parrots aren’t birds.
Your comment served no porpoise.
>whales suddenly start killing boomers, "migrants" and wagies
Imagine not rooting for the whales. Hell, I'm currently in the process of building my own version of image related so that I can join them.
did tin tin hollow out a shark to make that sub or is it just shaped like one?
It's just shaped like one. Professeur Tournesol built it for shits and giggles.
there were rich people on board, they obviously captured them as POWs
Shouldn't a military sub sonar be able to find it?
This is the one thing we didn't want to happen.
I know trannies must be having a field day on Twitter about elon
I don't get it, they've been surviving in a submarine for 100 years?
>Call your sub the Titan
>Lack of basic safety features causes easily preventable deaths
>Millionaires are taken down with it
>That moronic teenager who jumped out of the party ship at night and drowned
>This story
This has been a good year for those with Thalassophobia
this was like 2 days ago lol
Are these things not attached to a bigger ship via a chain? If not why not?it can't be that much more expensive when compared to everything else
There's usually some sort of tube and pulley system so you can send coca cola and sandwiches up and down.
small independent sub company please understand
how do you get lost in the ocean just swim up?
They didn't know which way was up.
drop a pen? and you know where down is
>he believes in gravity
There is no gravity at that depth.
Dumbass, there is still gravity, it is just closer to the moons level.
>gravity
It's the other way around
>Somehow, the titanic is still killing people...
They must be under alot of pressure.
So this is Titanic 2.... Wow. Not what I expected....
Why is everyone talking about trannies and Elon Musk?
Instead of spending 250k why not just spend 3.5k and get that apple VR goggles and send a little tiny drone down there and look through that instead of getting crushed like my dreams of having a normal life.
Why don't the sea creatures band together and carry the sub up to the surface?
Have you not heard that orcas attack ships now? The israelites have triggered nature with all their pollution and fourth Industrial Revolution bullshit.
Based animals carrying on the legacy of Uncle Ted. Inshallah, technology will die.
why don't they inflate a life raft with their egos
all that PLAPing over the last few days memed this into reality
My work here is done
BREAKING NEWS!!!
It's the MEG!
Can’t wait for the Meg 2 kino
Mechanical failures general thread?
where do they go to the toilet?
There's a space for it according to reddit but it's really not much. I'm picturing like a waste basket with a curtain for privacy
would they be reduced to drinking their own piss to survive dehydration? I doubt the capsule has aircon, must be warm
I guess start rhythmic banging on hull in hopes of sonar picking it up
>stuck at the bottom of the ocean
>pic-related is the inside of the sub
>maybe it's pitch black down there--no electrical
>just sitting waiting for the oxygen to run out
Imagine being the last to die.
>sub rumbling under overwhelming pressure while you sit in pitch black darkness
Guys.....?
>air getting thin, hard to breathe
Guys, is anyone still alive?
>poke bodies clumsily in the dark, everyone is ice cold and stiff
.......guys?
>you reach for your belt pouch and take out a handfull of pink pills marked K56
Well, they thought I was crazy to bring these when we left, but I'd rather take these then end up like them
>you swallow the pills and lay your head down on your backpack
.......sorry guys
>you lay your head back and wait for a bit before gently drifting off to a blissful sleep
.......
.....
....
...
..
.
>
2 seconds later
>*BANG BANG BANG* guys?? We’ve towed you to the surface, stand back while we open the hatch!*
>finally, some privacy
I'd crank one last fap out fantasizing about
Kate Winslet.
Yep.
Shit and piss slowly fills the tube
>just sitting waiting for the oxygen to run out
If they're lucky the pressure will take over and it'll be over in a fraction of a second.
God imagine the choices you'd have to make. Do you do the right thing and die together or do you kill your fellow passengers so you can eat their lungs for extra oxygen, buying you maybe an extra day to get rescued.
>eat their lungs for extra oxygen
If you elected to let someone kill you, like if you were one of those israelite boomers could you be like “son, kill me” and let him strangle you or would your body reflexively fight back?
what do you do with your urine and excrement?
2/10
should be fishjacks
Make a better one.
Getting major WE GAAN vibes from the guy in the back
I know just the guy to call in
Well why don't we put him in charge?
they are telling all their sins to each other right now. if they get rescued the blackmail will begin
I wonder what Jim Cameron thinks of all of this? I don't think he was controlling his submarine with a madkatz controller
Most likely imploded and they all died instantly. Probably for the best, because they are not going to be found if they had power failure, who knows where they end up.
What I don't get is why it didn't have a tether, that just seems lazy.
tethering 4km down creates more problems than it solves
No problems anymore.
Like what? It's common as frick with smaller subs.
So they don't even know where the sub is?
How do they not have like multiple ways of tracking that. And aren't these small subs always connected to the surface with some cable or some shit like that?
Why would you even risk it losing contact by not having 10 backup systems.
I mean even if something catastrophic happened they should've had a warning trigger for that, just so people above know they got fricked up.
Apparently they were using starlink to stay in touch but that failed
How the frick does that even work through all that water. Is it neutrino based?
Another L for Elon
What's wrong?
Seems like a pretty authentic titanic experience to me
Okay, so what makes anyone think they’re still alive?
Did contact just get immediately cut and no one knows what happened?
Or were these guys like, “we’re going down our current position is *KSSSHHHHH……*” and now it’s a race to find them?
Do we know they even sunk? What if their radio broke or something.
we've been tracking them for years. they keep disappearing and reappearing in different spots for no discernible reason
What do you think they're hiding? Who are passenger number 4 and 5 of this mysterious vessel?
No clue because the company is being vague
they don't have a radio. they can only communicate with the sub through text AND it has no gps or other kind of locating beacon
> a fricking xbox controller
That’s PlayStation mate.
moron alert
>Someone forgot to charge the controller
Also this promo video makes me lol https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wi60tvRwRlE
>We're getting to see stuff that no human eyes have ever seen
Wow, some wreckage. Great stuff guys. Underwater Photography is fricking amazing because you can actually see whales and you know things that aren't DEAD
>We're getting to see stuff that no human eyes have ever seen
but thousands of people saw the titanic
Not in its rusted, dead, bottom-of-the-ocean state. You know, the exciting way that anyone from any age would choose to see it.
>woah...a rusted piece of shit that might might have been a guard rail in 1912
>using some piece of shit 3rd party controller for your multi-million submarine
Logitech gamepads are pretty good really
Yeah, James Cameron wasn't using a Madkatz controller when he did his Challenger Deep dive
I know what the frick this cannot be real. Maybe this company wanted these guys killed for some reason and made up this sub thing to disappear them. No fricking way they’re using some OLD, used, THIRD PARTY 360 controller from 15 years ago to pilot this sub, there is no way……. RIGHT??
All controllers would be 3rd party since it's custom hardware
????? They probably wrote a program on the computer and just plugged the controller in, you think they made their own Jimmy Neutron super controller underneath the crappy Pelican plastic? come on
>controller malfunctions
>sub starts tipping over
>everyone falls to the front of it as it now stands vertical
>the front window (now facing bottom) pops open
>someone's ass gets sucked into the opening
>huge farting noise
>the guy farts himself out through is own ass into a red puree
>the next one gets immediately minced through the same ass residue while the one behind him is halfway up his ass instantly
>they just fart themselves out onto the seabed where some crab bros are eating good tonight
>farts himself out through is own ass
Where does grandma come in?
>4th passenger was a grandma
>she starts farting faster than eminem
Hey man, the designer's mom gave it to him
Just before she died in an unexpected submarine accident
>Ground is covered in a soft rubber mat
Billionaires are moronic.
Rip the mat off the ground and hold it open over your heads. open the hatch and as the water rushes in, the air will be trapped up the pocket created by the mat. Now slowly float to the surface
Same principal as a diving bell
>Trusting your life and several others with a $30 Logitech Gamepad
You DID remember to bring the batteries and the charging cable, right?
>Controller gets fricked up and they start spinning in circles
It's in a depth of 13,000 feet
Just find the fricking feet and follow them to the sub. morons.
Get Tarantino on it if you have to. He'll put together a team.
Best part is that its not only a shitty third party controller we have all learned to avoid since our first console, it is a wireless cheap third party controller. Fricking wireless.
>wireless third party controller
This is the controller you had to use when you were the outcast at the birthday party and all the close friends had the good controllers
His big brother’s submersible gets the good controller.
They either imploded and are all goo or they are stuck at the bottom of the ocean somewhere spinning in circles because the Madkatz joystick input got stuck in one direction.
>"we're spinning out of control"
>"press right on the controller"
>"I am .. I AM"
>they spin for 20 hours
>"wait no .. YOUR OTHER RIGHT"
>"oh... whoops"
Who would win one rinky dinky toob or one spec of dust causing stick drift
>sneeze and snot/spit goes underneath the buttons
it’s over…
>uh, Drake? Where's the AA batteries?
>you said you were bringing them?
OceanGate? So the resulting 'scandal' after the deaths will be called "OceanGateGate"??
Raymond Asquith's epic and hilarious annihilation of The Times:
https://www.encyclopedia-titanica.org/asquith-titanic-conspiracy.html
"A real man makes his own biopic"
>nolan instead cameron
what the frick does nolan have to do with titanic AND submarines
op homosexual as usual, you have one job and it's to make the right joke and you still frick it up
Imagine the absolute state of them in that tiny little coffin just sitting there, not being able to do shit.
No backup system, no paddles, no spare propeller, no emergency sonar alarm, no diving suit, no giant spring to bounce of the bottom of the ocean, no bible, no toilet, noone wearing socks, no spare underwear, nothing..
what's worse, being stuck in a tube with 4 other people way down deep in the ocean or being stuck in a tube with 4 other people but two are pakistani and they need to do curry shits
>dumbshit schizo boomers frick their own lives up
Okay
Movie?
Call of Cthulhu
Leviathan
>first one to die is the black one
heh
kino of the highest order
Underwater
The worst thing if they are still alive and weren't exploded is that they are slowly dying with their last memories being the intense aroma of shit filling up the tube.
Comments already off, kek.
Lol the marking shit as for kids so nobody can comment is really the cowards way out
Kek, they have a video with Macklemore.
>Hey Macklemore can we go deep sea diving?
>Wut wut wut wut
Their corporation's future is on the same path as Macklemore's
did he know?
?t=121
Apparently they started with PS3 Controllers.
>this man this is a guy man you are entrusting with you life this
I hope they’re still alive but die of CO2 poisoning in the next few days. Will make a kino documentary.
Either they evolve quickly to breathe CO2 or they die.
This is one way to force evolution.
Reminds me of the Aniara ending scene lol
*beep* *beep* *beep*
>how did grandpa die
>he didn't use a playstation controller
fricking lol and checked
KEK
you can't even properly get upset in those cramped quarter and start a fistfight and kick the ass of the tool that fricked something up
naming risky project with 'gate' on hindsight is a really bad idea.
How much did they pay to take the minisub to the wreck?
250k per person
Thanks, seems affordable if you're a millionaire. Suppose we will find out if they cut costs.
The one video in the thread has the dude who owns it talking about how its legit a bunch of shit thrown together beyond the hull lol
hmm yeah im thinking im just gonna not go outside. time for some Television & Film
So wait... if they have 70-90 hours of oxygen left and they're stuck somewhere. Where would they shit or piss? That tiny cramped area in the sub doesn't seem like it accommodates anything.
They whole thing was only meant to take like a couple of hours, right?
Imagine the smell if they actually had to stay in there for 90 hours.
Jesus Christ, imagine the shitty awful nightmare. Imagine if one of them died like 14 hours before everyone else….
Sir, Junji Ito is already drawn up a rough draft of the manga.
>ancient ancestor crawls out of the ocean to escape the horrors within it
>billion years later
>a bunch of humans cram themselves into a sardine can and sink to the bottom of the ocean
Let's be honest were they sabotaged by Jim Cameron? He's been working on the same project for over a decade.
New underwater season of HMS Terror shaping up nicely.
>Mr Hickey stop breathing so heavily this instant!
I envy them. Not often do you get to star in the sequel to your favorite movie.
Who do we cast?
>Titanic 2: 127 Hours
Kinography
>Titanic 2: The rise of the titanic becomes real
>slain by a bag of cheetos
My question is how the frick did they lose conact? Shouldnt the mothership still see them on sonar?
contact was maintained through text messages, there was no sonar
>”But sir we’ll be miles underwater….”
>”just txt me lol g2g”
>250 grand
>mothership has no active or passive sonar
..homie wtf
>contact was maintained through text messages
And how was the text messages transmitted? Smoke signals?
acoustically
sound travels well in water, radio waves do not
I can't believe they lost contact and the location that early. They paid $250,000 to almost instantly be doomed to certain death in what was supposed to be the 5 day submarine expedition segment of an 8 day trip.
someone down there snapped and killed the others, nothing else makes sense.
He's probably chilling and sailing to south America.
They deserved to did for needing to witness the remains of a tragic event in person. Like frick them, they are super rich let them slowly sufficate the same way they made their employees suffocate over the years.
Kino death for some rich c**ts.
Nice to see their money and boredom kill them.
are you unironically 12
Do you think she's down there bros?
No, we already know who the five people are
(checked)
qrd on the five people?
A Paki Father and son
The CEO of Oceangate
Some rich Brit
A French Titanic Researcher
>Boat Kino
SIGN ME UP
Kinda rude. She must be self conscious enough without that patch they make her wear.
>large chef lady is called C(cornflakes) Kellogg
>Master chef
No, they're too deep even for whales to survive
>Nolan directs the biopic
I bet Jimbo Cameron have already tried to buy the rights.