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  1. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why do protestants wait so long to get baptized? I got baptized like a few weeks after being born. Now my soul is saved for eternity.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      I thought they did infant baptism besides Anabaptists
      Also isn't saying your soul is saved forever from baptism a protestant position

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Only Baptists believe in once saved always saved

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      gotta have your priorities straight. baptism later, wiener mutilation now

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Baptized by birth
      Blasphemy.

      Jesus was baptized in His adult years by John. Apostle Paul said to baptize Christians in the name of Jesus Christ. Pic related

      Catholics and Protestant churches baptize when you are born which is not from The Bible. Neither do they baptize you in the name of Jesus Christ. They baptize in the name ~~*((Trinity*~~)), Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Also you join the church during this Satanic ritual.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        They didn't invent baptism until after Jesus was born so he gets a pass

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        you're so fricking stupid even for christ cuck standards

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >They baptize in the name ~~*((Trinity*~~)), Father, Son and Holy Ghost
        You do realize that means God, Jesus and Mary, right?

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          It's not accurate to Bible.

          You should only be baptized in the name of Jesus.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >It's another israelite tries to blaspheme the Holy Spirit post
        Christ is King, Israel will fall, All israelites Must die 🙂

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          I am not blaspheming Holy Ghost. Trinity is a false indoctrination. You should only worship 1 true God. God is not equal to His Son and Holy Ghost.

          Even Jesus said how to pray. You pray to God.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            1 true God sounds like some Muslim chicanery. Begone.

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              The why did Jesus taught His disciples to pray:
              >Our FATHER who art in Heaven.

              Apostles' Creed
              >I believe in God the Father almighty, Maker of heaven and earth,
              >and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord,
              >who was conceived of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary,
              >....
              >I believe in the Holy Spirit

              There is direct line of order how you should worship. God comes first.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                Rajeet, this is getting embarrassing.

                >NOOOO YOU CAN NOT HECKING OFFEND MY SEMITIC DADDIES
                Most of "Christianity" is transmutated notion. And other two are either high elite and truly hostile as their books command, or simple people who have 0 difference with Christians and just keeping Some of "their" faith traditions they inherited from dad or mom.

                Just like only very few say "I am Superman fan" 100% only comics canon written by Jerry Siegel, but at minimum combination of Siegel's vision + vision of people that drastically changed his concept and at normal loving character that has NOTHING in common with an (")actual (") Superman created by Siegel besides some elements of costume and some names at best. At best.

                Just like when people say "King Arthur" Most don't mean The original books lore or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as in meaning the original comics (only)

                Did a Christian frick your mum?

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                Yes, that's how I was born, one Christian had sex with another. Duh. Although He is more of a pro communist, because he saw people of different religions united, but he isn't moronic materialistic troony he Knows real world is more complex than what ~~*science*~~ allow to think
                about
                But all in all My Father is how I myself define Christianity notion to which I myself prescribe. He isn't some fake homosexual in a dress, he isn't abuser, he is literally The Man, one of the best.

                What's that question even supposed to mean.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          Shhhh... sweetie, it's alright. No more tears.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        moronic Unitarian

        >They baptize in the name ~~*((Trinity*~~)), Father, Son and Holy Ghost
        You do realize that means God, Jesus and Mary, right?

        moronic muslim

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        JWanon

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Adult baptism is a choice you make to enter into a covenant. Baptism at birth is nothing, just dunking kids in water.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        They also baptize children in Trinity which implies God, YHWH, is a polytheist entity. The Father, The Son and Holy Ghost. Trinity is a Satan's plan to deny the divinity of God.

        God is above everything. He is not equal to Jesus nor The Holy Ghost.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          Your position has been heresy for over a thousand years.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Baptized by birth
          Blasphemy.

          Jesus was baptized in His adult years by John. Apostle Paul said to baptize Christians in the name of Jesus Christ. Pic related

          Catholics and Protestant churches baptize when you are born which is not from The Bible. Neither do they baptize you in the name of Jesus Christ. They baptize in the name ~~*((Trinity*~~)), Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Also you join the church during this Satanic ritual.

          never understood anti trinity guys. God is the father of Christ. Christ is also the father, and the holy spirit is something that embodies all of us. Am i simply misinformed?

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            According to mainline Trinity theology (to which the Roman Catholic Church and most Protestant denominations ascribe to), Jesus Christ is not the Father, but he is still God, just as the Father is still God.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            Triquetra also known as the trinity symbol has cravings of 666; Number of The Beast. Trinity is Satanic deception to mock God and Christ and The Holy Spirit in the same context.

            There is only one true God, YHWH, and His Son, Jesus. Holy Ghost is a blessing once you have been baptized in the name of Jesus Christ like The Bible says. Jesus sits next to God's throne in the right side. It implies that God is above Jesus. Trinity implies that God is not greater than Jesus Christ or The Holy Ghost. It deceives Christians to believe that God is divded into 3 gods. Breaking the first 2 Commandments

            >I am the LORD your GOD. You shall have no other gods before me
            >You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              >Before Abraham was I AM
              Pls actually read the bible, and the jehova witness vandalized version doesn't count

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                Means everyone is God.

                "You will be able to do things that I do And Even Greater"

                Literally I AM = God
                I Am "Janet" = God Janet

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:
          (Mat. 28:19)

          Notice how he says name, singular, of the Father, Son, Holy Ghost, as in all three of them possess the one divine name.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Lol your cult is so funny.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Denounce the Talmud.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          the talmud is a book written by pedophiles in the desert for pedophiles in the desert, same with the bible and the quran

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            That's why for me, it's Asatru. Whites only, plenty of women and orgies on the Solstice and Equinox!

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            Based anon you are at least consistent.
            Or some pagan.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            That's why for me, it's Asatru. Whites only, plenty of women and orgies on the Solstice and Equinox!

            Based anon you are at least consistent.
            Or some pagan.

            >t.

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              >NOOOO YOU CAN NOT HECKING OFFEND MY SEMITIC DADDIES
              Most of "Christianity" is transmutated notion. And other two are either high elite and truly hostile as their books command, or simple people who have 0 difference with Christians and just keeping Some of "their" faith traditions they inherited from dad or mom.

              Just like only very few say "I am Superman fan" 100% only comics canon written by Jerry Siegel, but at minimum combination of Siegel's vision + vision of people that drastically changed his concept and at normal loving character that has NOTHING in common with an (")actual (") Superman created by Siegel besides some elements of costume and some names at best. At best.

              Just like when people say "King Arthur" Most don't mean The original books lore or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as in meaning the original comics (only)

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Joseph Stalin's parents had him baptized a few weeks after birth. Does he automatically get into Heaven because of that?

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Does he automatically get into Heaven because of that?
        Doesn't work like that. Not even a Christian but you are moronic. You are criticizing something you have not even cursory knowledge of.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          The first reply to the thread just said he's saved for eternity because someone else chose to baptize him when he was a newborn. I merely asked him if that's the same for someone like Stalin.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            Yes, and you fail at logic. Baptism is necessary but not sufficient.

      • 8 months ago
        Drumfdabber

        He would get into heaven for defeating Nazism if religion was real. Seethe chuddy.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          (You)

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Show me where in the Bible that it says babies are to be baptized. I will wait

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Romans 3:28;4:5;5:1;Ephesians 1:13;2:8–9;Galatians 2:16;3:24;Philippians 3:9

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      What was all that stuff Jesus and Paul said about faith? Hmm. I can't remember

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Baptism + faith = heaven
        Baptism + no faith = purgatory for a bit and then God lets you in heaven
        No baptism = hell
        This is in the bible btw

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >my soul is saved because they splashed some water on my head
      lol

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >My soul is saved when I accept Jesus as my Saviour and Son of God and I baptize in His name.

        Fixed.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >My soul is saved when I accept Jesus as my Saviour and Son of God and I baptize in His name.

        Fixed.

        >thinking you can be saved in any way but the free grace of God
        kek the damned will never learn.

  2. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    It was dolphin piss in the cup.

  3. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    What is in the cup? Is it cum? I bet it's cum.

  4. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    christlarp cringe

  5. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    i prefer the episode when bart and homer become catholic like chads

  6. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Bart becomes a troony?

  7. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    I became a godfather today. God, I hate pr*ts so much it's unreal.

  8. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    I miss Phil Hartman

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Do you really?

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        yes

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Simpsons died with him.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      I miss Threads Cheeseman

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >His wife didn't

  9. 8 months ago
    Anonymous
  10. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Girl I wanted to frick got baptized recently
    >She's a single mom
    Do I still have a chance or will she try to make me fall for the marriage meme?

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Marriage probably. Good for her for trying to save her soul, but you aren't Jesus so that's ain't your job

  11. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    I’m not going to say anything. I’m just going to post Sneed. Because that’s what no-one did

    Sneed

  12. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    >pr*testants literally think a baptism when a kid is 10 is more "authentic" than letting the childs parents offer him up to God shortly after birth
    Literal troony behavior. Yeah the 10 year old really "chose" to be baptized lmao

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      This is an interesting look into a Catholic's mindset. He cannot fathom the prospect of one thinking for himself.

  13. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    why are american far-right "chirstians" so ... well..... unchristian?

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      The sectarianism, in-fighting, and outright moronation from all sides is pretty exhausting.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Muslims, israelites, etc. Everyone has in-flighting. Even fricking fandoms and groups that Supposed to be tight together because they are otherwise fricked by EVERYONE else find opportunities to split into at least 2 factions of morons following certain notions, usually it is cucКs and zealots with some middle ground of people without affiliation with anyone particular. I saw this firsthand.
        It's also why I am racist philosophically. The more brown or Black person black someone's inner philosophy is the more they inclined for this split, but black guy can have white philosophy while white can be complete philosophical dead end, unfortunately you can't know real people instantly by their looks.

        >there is no wiener up your ass at this very moment
        cant prove me wrong therefore you're a homosexual

        I can, there isn't.
        Now prove there is no god, there's no magic, there's only moronic troony materialism.

  14. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Is this the cuck thread?

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >There is no God!
      source?

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >there is no wiener up your ass at this very moment
        cant prove me wrong therefore you're a homosexual

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          >gay anal sex analogy
          the next step in the atheist "argument" evolution

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >christchads leave fake bills to spite tipping culture
      >atheistsissies throw a hissyfit and do a literal NO U
      lol

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Atheists are annoying, but this is unironically based. Frick pastors who use tithe money to buy cars.

  15. 8 months ago
    Anonymous
  16. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why is there so much Satanic / Masonic symbolism in Trinity doctrine?

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous
      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Also three veganas

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous
    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Reminder that baphomet doesn't exist and nobody, historically, worshipped him. The name was invented by inquisitors during an internal church power struggle over control of money.
      The image of baphomet portrayed here was invented by a frenchman at the end of the 1800s who deliberately misinterpreted hermetic texts and went under a fake israeli name to sound more exotic.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        PS satanism was invented in the 60s as a theme for a titty bar.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          Satanism has existed before Christianity. It has many forms because Satan is a great deceiver.
          Freemasonry worships Satan but larps as a Christian fraternity. Other religions are also false. Any religion that denies Jesus as Son of God and our Savior is an anti-Christ; a deceiver.

          Accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior and being baptized is the only way to be saved from Satan.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous
      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        t Freemason.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Doesn't really matter.
      If God isn't merciful only 0.00000000001% of Particular subdivision maybe not even any of Abrahamics at all, ALL are fricked
      If God is merciful none are fricked

      But then also, what kind of place heaven supposed to be. Mudslemin promise literal giantesses as Gfs, okay but what others, what if they just freeze you or you just have to constantly sing the holy songs.
      Life and even biblical stories are full of irony when most honest people are fricked, while gray flip floppers are the ones that get The Best of the both worlds.
      Then again, when Adam and Eve lost heaven? When they discovered good and evil, the distinction.

      Neville Goddard posses that these characters are just part of You, while You is I AM and God.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        *aren't fricked

        Of course

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >what kind of place heaven supposed to be
        Heaven is absolute unity with God. You're not alive as you are now, you don't play a harp and walk around on clouds. It's spiritual ecstasy far beyond popular depictions of "paradise", in which there's nothing but the light of God.
        I mean no disrespect but if you don't understand what this means you're on the wrong track.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Mudslemin promise literal giantesses as Gfs
        wtf i love mohammed now

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        All major religions created after the submergence of the Beringian land bridge are pretenders. The soul of a new god is birthed according to the formula y=e(x^pi), where x is the total number of gods and y is the world population. Therefore there can only be 1028 gods right now.

  17. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    There was an article in the news today about an Indonesian influencer being jailed for eating pigmeat and uttering the word Bismillah before. She has 2 million followers. Apparently, 90% of Indonesia is muslim.

    So that was what was in the papers today. It's classified as: 'hatespeech' or 'inciting to hatred'.

    Who do you side with? Influencers are moronic. But in the same paper today they are talking about Christian pastors being paedophils and nuns grooming the kids, getting them ready for the pastor and how that's un underlighted side of history.

    I swear, 'newspapers' are just clickbait right now. Anything is good, as long as it's provocative and generates clicks and income.

  18. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    SNEEEEEEED

  19. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    If this was a modern Simpsons episode it would be about Lisa.

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