Simon
Karakter
De Stilte Rond Christine M.
Flodder
New Kids Turbo
Some would say Turks Fruit, but i think its kinda overrated. There isn't really that much, but there is some if you search a little.
Half the states in the US already legalized it and cops in the other half turn a blind eye. The only places where they arrest you for it are shitholes like Mississippi or Utah.
not counting Soviet films because it's more interesting >The Night Before Christmas (1913) >Twilight of a Woman's Soul (1913) >After Death (1915) >Chekist (1992) >Stone (1992) >Burnt by the Sun (1994) >Palms (1994) >Whispering Pages (1994) >Spiritual Voices (1995) >Oriental Elegy (1996) >Prisoner of the Mountains (1996) >Brother (1997) >Mother and Son (1997) >Khrustalyov, My Car! (1998) >Of Freaks and Men (1998) >Moloch (1999) >Brother 2 (2000) >Elegy of a Voyage (2001) >A Place in the World (2001) >Taurus (2001) >Russian Ark (2002) >Father and Son (2003) >The Return (2003) >The Sun (2005) >Alexandra (2007) >Cargo 200 (2007) >Silent Souls (2010) >Hard to Be a God (2013) >The Fool (2014) >Leviathan (2014) >Closeness (2017) >Loveless (2017) >Beanpole (2019) >DAU. Degeneration (2020) >Petrov's Flu (2021) >Fairytale (2022) >Tchaikovsky's Wife (2022)
I'm moronic. here are the only Dutch films I'm familiar with >Everyman (1963) >Turkish Delight (1973) >Katie Tippel (1975) >Soldier of Orange (1977) >Spetters (1980) >On Top of the Whale (1982) >The 4th Man (1983) >The Vanishing (1988) >Mother Dao, the Turtlelike (1995) >Borgman (2013)
Well I like prog rock and edm so maybe biased. It's good to me. Also I'm talking about the Netherlands, some people in this thread are talking about Russia for whatever reason.
>who is Paul Verhoeven >who is Rutger Hauer
there is also this one film where Carice van Houten turns into a cat I think, or used to be a cat and then turns into Carice van Houten
Why do Dutch people make "sandwiches" with only one slice of bread? That's not a sandwich, a sandwich has two slices of toast with stuff in between. Your open-faced snacks are simply "X on toast", and have no claim to sandwichdom. However I will concede the chocolate hagelslag and your whole sweets-on-toast thing is quite nice.
I just can't be bothered to learn country flags and the OP filename and first post both indicated Russia, so I went with it
>who is Paul Verhoeven >who is Rutger Hauer
there is also this one film where Carice van Houten turns into a cat I think, or used to be a cat and then turns into Carice van Houten
they are all russia's b***h deep down. all of the former iron curtain and west europe as well. all the shit they talk about russia in the media is a psyop
>they are all russia's b***h deep down. all of the former iron curtain and west europe as well. all the shit they talk about russia in the media is a psyop
We're not taking you guys in America when you lose and your country's destabilized. I hope you know this. Inaction for this long is the same thing as saying you agree with Putin. You can go to China.
>don't understand social tact or politeness >israeli tier obsession with money and getting paid what you're owed by friends and family >joyless German-esque culture
Dutchoids are autistic as frick
nafribros... I thought we were ruining the Netherlands (tbh yeah euro Moroccans are usually low IQ mountain dwellers or worse, riffans so I understand the racism)
Our modern-made movies and series are abject trash.
We have the worst actors and actresses, as well as the worst directors. Most of them all come from a concentrated clique where they get their education and even world views from. They're all the same type of play it safe-morons.
If a person has genuine talent, that will only have opportunity to manifest itself outside of the country.
Maybe it's a phenomona that every country experiences, but it really does feel that Dutch actors tend to overact or just don't hit the tone right in most scenes
As a Dutchie I love all the memes about our language. Especially the one with the urang utan. IK OOK IK OOK WEET IK WAT NOU WE GAAN, ik vind het echt fantastisch. Hoop dat Teemong doorbreekt met goeie films maken
>BOARD DOOD >WAT NOU
What a moronic language. Impossible for someone to make true art while they sound like this.
As a Dutchie I love all the memes about our language. Especially the one with the urang utan. IK OOK IK OOK WEET IK WAT NOU WE GAAN, ik vind het echt fantastisch. Hoop dat Teemong doorbreekt met goeie films maken
Leviathan
Stalker
Solaris
The Return
Admiral
Admiral is a mediocre soap opera, but other mentions are good.
my man you're supposed to skip the boring bits
The battle bits are great and make up for the lame love plot
they're made up though
also an interesting fact, the guy who played kolchak also played trotsky in a different show
I refuse to believe that anyone is capable of mistaking Holland for Russia so I'll just call you a troll instead.
Americans
All boring shit
Thats the flag of the Netherlands you fricking moron.
Simon
Karakter
De Stilte Rond Christine M.
Flodder
New Kids Turbo
Some would say Turks Fruit, but i think its kinda overrated. There isn't really that much, but there is some if you search a little.
Gouden ei/the vanishing
zwart boek
soldaat van oranje
honneponnetje
schatjes
and frick it, i'm claiming Verhoeven.
>Flodder
I didn't think men of culture still posted on this board.
Marathon en All Stars missen hier.
Dat gezegd hebbende; als je Simon niet gezien hebt mag je jezelf geen nederlander noemen. 10/10 kino
New Kids
dit
Half of the country is too autistic and the other half is neets living off government gibbs smoking weed all day
>nd the other half is neets living off government gibbs smoking weed all day
hahah burgers seething. enjoy your marvelslop and jailtime for a plant
Half the states in the US already legalized it and cops in the other half turn a blind eye. The only places where they arrest you for it are shitholes like Mississippi or Utah.
Wrong
>Ameriburger education
so true
Anon... That's the russian flag, not the fr*nch one...
Highly underrated.
Cause their only good director, Paul Verhoeven, went to america.
I once read Spielberg was interrested in working with him until he saw his flick Spetters. Guess he doesnt like gay anal gang rape, weird eh
But spielberg is into vore thus why he worked with tobe hooper, after seeing texas chainsaw and Eaten alive and directing Jaws
uhh
Black moon 1975
Ex Drummer, or is that Belgian?
yes Flemish.
Lily was Here
'zellig is a gem DOE
praat normaal koekwaus
Tsmt
Hagedis te veel is good.
Verhoeven is sometimes ok
>Hagedis te veel
Wat
A Lizzard Too Much.
Americans should be blocked from participating in these kinds of threads
Ik ben letterlijk een kaaskop
not counting Soviet films because it's more interesting
>The Night Before Christmas (1913)
>Twilight of a Woman's Soul (1913)
>After Death (1915)
>Chekist (1992)
>Stone (1992)
>Burnt by the Sun (1994)
>Palms (1994)
>Whispering Pages (1994)
>Spiritual Voices (1995)
>Oriental Elegy (1996)
>Prisoner of the Mountains (1996)
>Brother (1997)
>Mother and Son (1997)
>Khrustalyov, My Car! (1998)
>Of Freaks and Men (1998)
>Moloch (1999)
>Brother 2 (2000)
>Elegy of a Voyage (2001)
>A Place in the World (2001)
>Taurus (2001)
>Russian Ark (2002)
>Father and Son (2003)
>The Return (2003)
>The Sun (2005)
>Alexandra (2007)
>Cargo 200 (2007)
>Silent Souls (2010)
>Hard to Be a God (2013)
>The Fool (2014)
>Leviathan (2014)
>Closeness (2017)
>Loveless (2017)
>Beanpole (2019)
>DAU. Degeneration (2020)
>Petrov's Flu (2021)
>Fairytale (2022)
>Tchaikovsky's Wife (2022)
I'm moronic. here are the only Dutch films I'm familiar with
>Everyman (1963)
>Turkish Delight (1973)
>Katie Tippel (1975)
>Soldier of Orange (1977)
>Spetters (1980)
>On Top of the Whale (1982)
>The 4th Man (1983)
>The Vanishing (1988)
>Mother Dao, the Turtlelike (1995)
>Borgman (2013)
fricking have a nice day
They make a lot of good music instead.
lol
Well I like prog rock and edm so maybe biased. It's good to me. Also I'm talking about the Netherlands, some people in this thread are talking about Russia for whatever reason.
Nothing LoL about it, we started hardcore and many popular dj's in other genres are dutch.
revenge kino
We are saving the best for when we are an underwater kingdom
Wrong. Soldaat van Oranje is kino
De Noorderlingen on its own debunks this thread. Alex van Warmerdam the fricking GOAT
I've only seen nr 10, which was hilarious and kino as frick. I really should seek out his other kinos.
dutch is just a german dialect that went out of control like bavarian
So many trolls.
Or maybe uneducated.
Or maybe both.
I just can't be bothered to learn country flags and the OP filename and first post both indicated Russia, so I went with it
New kids turbo is the only good d*tchoid film ever made.
>who is Paul Verhoeven
>who is Rutger Hauer
there is also this one film where Carice van Houten turns into a cat I think, or used to be a cat and then turns into Carice van Houten
>naming a belgian and a german
She started out as a cat, that's why she's called minoes
Legit comfy movie, Carice was great.
>I don't understand this world, I just wanna be a cat again!
Enter
I WANT TO FRICK COCO
maya*
they're like 15. what the hell is the matter with you?
kys zelligBlack person
It's good
I think Rundfunk is definitely up there.
Some good jokes and racism
This was filmed in my high school, a former teacher and classmate of mine are extras in it kek
A friend of my niece banged one of the main guys. They even shot a short movie in her appartement.
One of the duo? The blonde one’s gay so that doesn’t leave many other guys.
Yeah the other guy, i didn't know he was gay. I don't think he is.
I don't think there's a single scene or even line of dialogue involving Barteljaap Balneger or the german teacher that isn't hilarious.
>doesn't like lesbians
Every single dutch film is either about gays or prostitutes or race mixing or all 3 combined.
spoorloos
Why do Dutch people make "sandwiches" with only one slice of bread? That's not a sandwich, a sandwich has two slices of toast with stuff in between. Your open-faced snacks are simply "X on toast", and have no claim to sandwichdom. However I will concede the chocolate hagelslag and your whole sweets-on-toast thing is quite nice.
pretty sure they dont call them sandwiches
They call em boterhammen (butterhams)
Amsterdamned by Dick Maas
that boat chase is goat
way too many cuts and clearly stunt drivers
Am I having a stroke? Why are people mentioning Russian movies and productions in a Dutch movie thread?
Disregard, I get it now.
they are all russia's b***h deep down. all of the former iron curtain and west europe as well. all the shit they talk about russia in the media is a psyop
>all of the former iron curtain and west europe as well
so then just... Europe
spain, portugal, and italy get a pass. probably a few others
Yeah, those are hecking wholesome with their communist leadership and leeching of other countries. Hecking based amiright fellow redditor?
>they are all russia's b***h deep down. all of the former iron curtain and west europe as well. all the shit they talk about russia in the media is a psyop
We're not taking you guys in America when you lose and your country's destabilized. I hope you know this. Inaction for this long is the same thing as saying you agree with Putin. You can go to China.
Soulless country, one would need to be near a dutchman to understand
reading this thread I think dutch people may be more autistic than initially feared
>don't understand social tact or politeness
>israeli tier obsession with money and getting paid what you're owed by friends and family
>joyless German-esque culture
Dutchoids are autistic as frick
why does this trigger the dutch
I don't know why a dutch person would be triggered about an article of a south African paper about an Austrian...
Lmfao at all the moronic anons that don't know the country's flag in the OP. Also Spoorloos is the correct answer. Also >Hagedis te veel
Lmao
>thinking the homosexual dutch flag is worth remembering
you're the real moron m8
Come and see (1985)
>Not one kino in the entire country
That is not a country, that is a region in EU.
>Not one kino in the entire country
false
ZO'N GROTE VUURBAL JONGE
Verruckte mongo
>the joke was that they look like a bunch of outdated, low class morons
>hipsters look exactly like this now
Gebaseerd
zwartboek or soldaat van oranje are pretty neet. Wouldn't recommend other Dutch films.
I hear they're the top nation for production of bestiality porn. That's probably kino to someone.
wilde mossels
>look up 'hagedis te veel' thinking no way this is real and some moron american freshie mistranslated something
>it's actually real
name Kino from a sub 20 million population country
Countries with Pepsi logo flags cause most of the world's problems.
Riphagen was decent
It's a small country and they didn't get lucky. Imagine Sweden if there was no Bergman for example.
Sweden still has some great directors aside from Bergman
The state of this thread
>not Hertog Jan
That's a cringeman not a Dutchman
True of all toothpaste flags
Zeebats
Nicht Rijder
Arie & Bastiaan
Thermometer 4
Saving Private Henk
Gebaseerd
NEEM APPELSAP DIKZAK
I quite liked this.
A child that can somewhat act. What a world.
*What a would.
nafribros... I thought we were ruining the Netherlands (tbh yeah euro Moroccans are usually low IQ mountain dwellers or worse, riffans so I understand the racism)
kanker
They made the original, The Vanishing. Which is the one Kubrick really liked.
BEK HOUDEN, VERREKTE KUT!!!
new kids? voor mij is het pulp show
gvd wat ben ik oud
Just like Monty Python, a couple of gems but also a lot of shit
Most of de lullo’s, multilul en debiteuren crediteuren is great but so much of the rest is mediocre boring stuff
It's a country the size of Greece. They haven't put out a single kino either.
Greece is quite a lot bigger
>who is Costa-Gavras
>Kees, net als mijn broer
Still gets about 25 wanks out of me each year.
was terrible. writing was terrible as well with the civilian story. combat scenes were dogshit
S P O O R L O O S
P
O
O
R
L
O
O
S
I have this goofy looking shit in my to-watch list for some reason - I guess I'm not about to uncover a gem.
Our modern-made movies and series are abject trash.
We have the worst actors and actresses, as well as the worst directors. Most of them all come from a concentrated clique where they get their education and even world views from. They're all the same type of play it safe-morons.
If a person has genuine talent, that will only have opportunity to manifest itself outside of the country.
Maybe it's a phenomona that every country experiences, but it really does feel that Dutch actors tend to overact or just don't hit the tone right in most scenes
if anything theyre comically woody
its like watching a film with the entire cast made up of tommy wiseau clones
us dutchoids have never been good at art except for some painters briefly 500 years ago
after that this swamp race only cared about making monies
you can say that again
T. Mocro
Don't fricking gloss over these beautiful paintings Black person
For me, it's Bassie & Adriaan
>ywn have comfy travels around the world with your best friend, learning and laughing about everything
Kino
European wars are easy because when they conquer another country they just have to rotate the flag.
>155 replies
>no mention of him
BOARD DOOD
WAT NOU
>BOARD DOOD
>WAT NOU
What a moronic language. Impossible for someone to make true art while they sound like this.
Anon, English literally evolved from Dutch.
We are your daddy in every way. Now get back to picking cotton, these boat kinos need sails
We gaan?
As a Dutchie I love all the memes about our language. Especially the one with the urang utan. IK OOK IK OOK WEET IK WAT NOU WE GAAN, ik vind het echt fantastisch. Hoop dat Teemong doorbreekt met goeie films maken
Hetzelfde
>niet IK OOK
gaat het nooit maken
i cant see that flag without thinking about picrel
dsl sisters?
The 4th Man is alright.
The Columnist is fairly recent but one of the better horror films outside the US.
>A fricking toothpaste
Goddamn, didn't realize we made so much kino. I guess ameripoors are angry that it's not marvelslop
Zo. En nu klaar met dat Anglicaans gewouwel.
verhoevenkino:
Robocop
Total Recall
Starship Troopers
Basic Instinct
etc
Dutchkino
Abeltje
Soldaat van Oranje
Achtste-groepers Huilen Niet
Spoorloos
Het zakmes
Ciske de Rat
Flodder
Turks Fruit
Amsterdamned
Every single Dutch is a psychopathic autist who dreams of mass murder or a lazy stoner. No in between.
Our only mistake was colonizing northern America. God won't forgive us for creating the USA
Letterlijk ik
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/may/11/dutch-court-jails-drugs-gang-who-built-torture-room-and-cells-in-containers
Any Dutch kino for this?
She was enough