>NOT SLYTHERIN, EH?

>NOT SLYTHERIN, EH? BETTER BE...

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  1. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    CHUCKLEFRICK!

  2. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    wienerLESUCK!

  3. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    AUSCHWITZ!!

  4. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    SNEEDERCHUCK

  5. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    ZOIDBERG!

  6. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    A MAN!

  7. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >NOT SLYTHERIN EH? WELL LET ME JUST DO A COMPLETE 180... GRYFFINDOR!

  8. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Oh, the magic hat put me on green team?
    >Guess I have to be evil now :/

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's really a nature/nurture deal. IIRC:
      >live in the dungeon
      >your house professor is the douchebag potion guy who openly hates students
      >dumblebore clearly hates you and would rather hufflepuff win anything than you
      >everyone from sociopaths to future mass murderers is put with you and you just have to deal with it
      Pretty easy to see how a 10 year old who is a little more ambitious than usual but otherwise just a normal kid ends up a loon by the end of his seventh year in those conditions. I'd start humming pumped up kicks by the third year in a row dumblebore just decides lolgriffindorwins despite how hard my friends and I worked all year to score the most points because harry broke every rule again and got people killed and that's worth a million billion points.

  9. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    VISHNUPUFF

  10. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
  11. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    why not put him in slytherin and make the whole series show that you can be righteous no matter the house you're in and harry changes the perception of slytherin as le bad

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Because it was written by a woman.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Because she didn't originally intend for it to have that kind of nuance. Slytherin is for evil, racist conservatives, who are dumb and inbred, except for when they aren't and are regrettably attractive and extremely gifted.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Rowling wrote like 3 Slytherins that were decent people tops, including Snape who arguably didn't redeem himself enough

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        even slughorn was basically some republican boomer going "i'm not racist, my dog is black" and i dont even know who the third one is supposed to be

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Snape who arguably didn't redeem himself enough
        lmao what more do you want from the poor fricker? his entire life is torture except maybe a couple years he was friendzoned

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Have you read the series? It's way more obvious in the books but the whole premise of the series is to let kids self insert as Harry whom the whole world orbits around and idolizes.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Rowling wrote like 3 Slytherins that were decent people tops, including Snape who arguably didn't redeem himself enough

      Elon and Bezos would be Slytherins, its for people who prioritize their ambitions before anything else

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Like Doctor Doom?

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Why do you think his cloak is green? It's his old Slytherin cloak.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Blast that infernal Potter. His underhanded quiddich tactics are as bad as that infernal Richards! Latveria will not stand for this.

  12. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
  13. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    "DID YOU PUT ME ON YOUR HEAD?!", the hat whispered carefully.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO PUT HARRY POTTER'S MANE IN THE GARNISHMENT OF SORTING!?

  14. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    SNEEDENDOR

  15. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    HUFFLEPUFF

  16. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why do angloïds love the idea of "clubs" so much? Even the religion they invented (Free masonry) is based on the idea of belonging to some secret club.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Sounds like this lonely ass homie has never been invited to join any clubs lmao loser.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Even in regular school they divide the kids up in to houses and force them to compete against eachother. I have no idea what the point of it is either.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        It lets them develop a sense of comradery, encourages teamwork and a sense of drive to be better.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Does it work? It would be funny if UK schools divided kids in houses based on their race and religion.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            It has it's pros and cons
            >if UK schools divided kids in houses based on their race and religion.
            It's the UK the only real division is wealth and class based

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              >It's the UK the only real division is wealth and class based
              I noticed this when I lived there 10 years ago in Plaistow and Miles End. Unlike how it is in the US, gangs of kids in the UK would be all different races mixed together, black and white working class kids and sometimes indian kids all being friends. In the US even in metropolitan cities everyone self segregates. In the UK it was really only the Pakistanis I saw regularly self segregating. Even in the working class pubs it was all different races being mates and hanging out together-it's not like that in the US hardly anywhere.

              It might be one of the reasons UK is pushing so much BLM critical race theory propaganda recently, they don't like how united the working class is with eachother.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                There's a nice quote from the show Yes Minister wherein one of the government secretaries basically states that the only reason Britain gets involved with anything was to purposely make a "pigs breakfast" of it for their own needs

  17. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    They never built the lore of the other two houses enough. Ravenclaw seemed coolest to me as a kid

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      You say that cauz there wasn't one good looking girl in the movies so you automatically assume that there HAD to be in the other houses that we don't see.

  18. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Black personDOR

  19. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Is there a good way to separate students into houses while keeping their own distinct "flavor"? Or is random sorting the way to go?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      I think the general idea Rowling had was pretty good, her execution was bad. I'd keep it loosely tied to personality traits and have each house be better/worse on average at certain types of magic because it's tied to your personality type and good and bad traits. Make it clear that each house has pros and cons so it isn't "brave" "smart" "evil" "bland"

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        At the very least spreading out the positive traits while giving each house a flaw might be a bit appreciated. Griffondorks are brave but shortsighted, Snuffleupgus is kind but conflict adverse, That's so raven are smart but detached and the cult of Set are ambitious but not the cult of Set.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          All of that is implied pretty heavily.
          Gryffindors are shown as brave but reckless, constantly putting themselves in danger. Very impulsive.
          Slytherins are shown as ambitious, but willing to sell anyone out for any advantage.
          Hufflepuffs are shown as loyal but mostly mousy pushovers.
          Ravenclaws are intelligent, but detached. They even will bully someone like Luna.

  20. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    troonySLAUGHT

  21. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    SNEEDLEFEED

  22. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
  23. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Bros, do you think...? During year 4 do you think that Ginny was regularly giving Dean blowjobs?

  24. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >FRICKANDSUCK!

  25. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Do you hear me, kid? I'm going to sort you into Hufflepuff right now unless you agree to meet up with me after the feast and let me suck your wiener

  26. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    DETROIT

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      OH GOD OH MAN
      OH GOD OH MAN

  27. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    AMERICAN!

  28. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I sort of rewatched this (watched the Gun parody edit) and the amount of bullshit this school pulled in favor of Harry and his friends is fricked up.
    The Gryffindor bias is incredibly real.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      To quote Rifftrax
      >How does this game work
      >I dunno just wait for Harry's team to win.

  29. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I played Hogwarts Legacy and like 70% of the kids there were brown or Asian. What happened? Did Dumbledore ethnically cleanse the school after he became headmaster?

  30. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Choose your house:
    >Evil
    >Good
    >Smart
    >Other

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