>first year at Hogwarts >witness that mudblood Hermione slapping my fellow Slytherin house member Draco >assemble my friends and tell them my plan of revenge
somehourslater.scroll >we stretch our legs in pursuit of Hermione >Hermione gets among her fellow house members outside >we're hiding in the distance behind some bushes so they can't see us
itstimetostrike.mp3 >drop out pants and with loud grunts we give birth to massive poops >we've been saving our poops for days >we complements eachother's poops before I aim my wand on mine >'TELEPORTUS' >we watch with glee as Hermione's face changes >she drops her pants as fast as lightning and crouches >her friends doesn't bat an eye as it's still practiced to defecate & evaporate >she's certainly pushing hard to get it out >just as Hermione let it go we teleport in another poop >we hear Hermione grunting loudly >her friends starts paying attention to her >she's clearly struggling as she's not used to pass poops of this magnitude and frequency >'TELEPORTUS!' >Hermione drops on all four with sweat forming on her forehead >we teleport the poops with such rapidness giving her no time to gather her thoughts >her friends' faces are mixed with confusion and disgust >we laugh as our revenge is done >Snape catches us
ohshit.portrait
1/2
>he looks over at Hermione, her violated butthole next to a pile of excrement >he drops his pants and shits >he then casts engorgeo on it >now it's easily twice as big as ours, both in girth and length >a quick glance and you could have mistaken it for a basilisk >he looks at us and tells us to watch this closely >he takes out his wand >'TELEPORTUS!' >Hermione stiffens up >her stomach actually bulges to even manage to store this inhumane poop >actually felt sorry for her for a moment >we watch as Hermione builds up strength to begin to pass this colossus >pretty much everyone has left her by this point >Hermione's legs and arms are trembling beneath her >she's definitely having the struggle of a lifetime >with each loud groan we see the crap move out an inch >it doesn't even break off >'I should cut back on the fiber' Snape says >several intense minutes later it appears as if it's levitating out of Hermione's stretched anus >it's that solid >Hermione's shaking immensely now >with a last push it falls to the ground >so does Hermione out of exhaustion >'my job here is done' Snape says before stretching his legs to his hut >we can't help but stare at Hermione's ravaged arse >moments later we hear Dumbledore shout '500 points to Gryffindor' from a nearby window
2/2
>he looks over at Hermione, her violated butthole next to a pile of excrement >he drops his pants and shits >he then casts engorgeo on it >now it's easily twice as big as ours, both in girth and length >a quick glance and you could have mistaken it for a basilisk >he looks at us and tells us to watch this closely >he takes out his wand >'TELEPORTUS!' >Hermione stiffens up >her stomach actually bulges to even manage to store this inhumane poop >actually felt sorry for her for a moment >we watch as Hermione builds up strength to begin to pass this colossus >pretty much everyone has left her by this point >Hermione's legs and arms are trembling beneath her >she's definitely having the struggle of a lifetime >with each loud groan we see the crap move out an inch >it doesn't even break off >'I should cut back on the fiber' Snape says >several intense minutes later it appears as if it's levitating out of Hermione's stretched anus >it's that solid >Hermione's shaking immensely now >with a last push it falls to the ground >so does Hermione out of exhaustion >'my job here is done' Snape says before stretching his legs to his hut >we can't help but stare at Hermione's ravaged arse >moments later we hear Dumbledore shout '500 points to Gryffindor' from a nearby window
2/2
>he looks over at Hermione, her violated butthole next to a pile of excrement >he drops his pants and shits >he then casts engorgeo on it >now it's easily twice as big as ours, both in girth and length >a quick glance and you could have mistaken it for a basilisk >he looks at us and tells us to watch this closely >he takes out his wand >'TELEPORTUS!' >Hermione stiffens up >her stomach actually bulges to even manage to store this inhumane poop >actually felt sorry for her for a moment >we watch as Hermione builds up strength to begin to pass this colossus >pretty much everyone has left her by this point >Hermione's legs and arms are trembling beneath her >she's definitely having the struggle of a lifetime >with each loud groan we see the crap move out an inch >it doesn't even break off >'I should cut back on the fiber' Snape says >several intense minutes later it appears as if it's levitating out of Hermione's stretched anus >it's that solid >Hermione's shaking immensely now >with a last push it falls to the ground >so does Hermione out of exhaustion >'my job here is done' Snape says before stretching his legs to his hut >we can't help but stare at Hermione's ravaged arse >moments later we hear Dumbledore shout '500 points to Gryffindor' from a nearby window
2/2
>he looks over at Hermione, her violated butthole next to a pile of excrement >he drops his pants and shits >he then casts engorgeo on it >now it's easily twice as big as ours, both in girth and length >a quick glance and you could have mistaken it for a basilisk >he looks at us and tells us to watch this closely >he takes out his wand >'TELEPORTUS!' >Hermione stiffens up >her stomach actually bulges to even manage to store this inhumane poop >actually felt sorry for her for a moment >we watch as Hermione builds up strength to begin to pass this colossus >pretty much everyone has left her by this point >Hermione's legs and arms are trembling beneath her >she's definitely having the struggle of a lifetime >with each loud groan we see the crap move out an inch >it doesn't even break off >'I should cut back on the fiber' Snape says >several intense minutes later it appears as if it's levitating out of Hermione's stretched anus >it's that solid >Hermione's shaking immensely now >with a last push it falls to the ground >so does Hermione out of exhaustion >'my job here is done' Snape says before stretching his legs to his hut >we can't help but stare at Hermione's ravaged arse >moments later we hear Dumbledore shout '500 points to Gryffindor' from a nearby window
2/2
There are maybe 3 moments in this greentext where I would have stopped finding it funny and closed the reply box but you persisted anon. You persisted.
>he looks over at Hermione, her violated butthole next to a pile of excrement >he drops his pants and shits >he then casts engorgeo on it >now it's easily twice as big as ours, both in girth and length >a quick glance and you could have mistaken it for a basilisk >he looks at us and tells us to watch this closely >he takes out his wand >'TELEPORTUS!' >Hermione stiffens up >her stomach actually bulges to even manage to store this inhumane poop >actually felt sorry for her for a moment >we watch as Hermione builds up strength to begin to pass this colossus >pretty much everyone has left her by this point >Hermione's legs and arms are trembling beneath her >she's definitely having the struggle of a lifetime >with each loud groan we see the crap move out an inch >it doesn't even break off >'I should cut back on the fiber' Snape says >several intense minutes later it appears as if it's levitating out of Hermione's stretched anus >it's that solid >Hermione's shaking immensely now >with a last push it falls to the ground >so does Hermione out of exhaustion >'my job here is done' Snape says before stretching his legs to his hut >we can't help but stare at Hermione's ravaged arse >moments later we hear Dumbledore shout '500 points to Gryffindor' from a nearby window
2/2
Aw shiet here we go again, post the more she shat the more she drank part
>Sunset found her squatting in the dungeons, moaning. Every stool was different to the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the clock in the great hall struck 9:45 she was shitting chocolate frogs. The more she drank, the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew, and her thirst sent her crawling to Snape to ask for more potions.
>he looks over at Hermione, her violated butthole next to a pile of excrement >he drops his pants and shits >he then casts engorgeo on it >now it's easily twice as big as ours, both in girth and length >a quick glance and you could have mistaken it for a basilisk >he looks at us and tells us to watch this closely >he takes out his wand >'TELEPORTUS!' >Hermione stiffens up >her stomach actually bulges to even manage to store this inhumane poop >actually felt sorry for her for a moment >we watch as Hermione builds up strength to begin to pass this colossus >pretty much everyone has left her by this point >Hermione's legs and arms are trembling beneath her >she's definitely having the struggle of a lifetime >with each loud groan we see the crap move out an inch >it doesn't even break off >'I should cut back on the fiber' Snape says >several intense minutes later it appears as if it's levitating out of Hermione's stretched anus >it's that solid >Hermione's shaking immensely now >with a last push it falls to the ground >so does Hermione out of exhaustion >'my job here is done' Snape says before stretching his legs to his hut >we can't help but stare at Hermione's ravaged arse >moments later we hear Dumbledore shout '500 points to Gryffindor' from a nearby window
2/2
>he looks over at Hermione, her violated butthole next to a pile of excrement >he drops his pants and shits >he then casts engorgeo on it >now it's easily twice as big as ours, both in girth and length >a quick glance and you could have mistaken it for a basilisk >he looks at us and tells us to watch this closely >he takes out his wand >'TELEPORTUS!' >Hermione stiffens up >her stomach actually bulges to even manage to store this inhumane poop >actually felt sorry for her for a moment >we watch as Hermione builds up strength to begin to pass this colossus >pretty much everyone has left her by this point >Hermione's legs and arms are trembling beneath her >she's definitely having the struggle of a lifetime >with each loud groan we see the crap move out an inch >it doesn't even break off >'I should cut back on the fiber' Snape says >several intense minutes later it appears as if it's levitating out of Hermione's stretched anus >it's that solid >Hermione's shaking immensely now >with a last push it falls to the ground >so does Hermione out of exhaustion >'my job here is done' Snape says before stretching his legs to his hut >we can't help but stare at Hermione's ravaged arse >moments later we hear Dumbledore shout '500 points to Gryffindor' from a nearby window
2/2
>he looks over at Hermione, her violated butthole next to a pile of excrement >he drops his pants and shits >he then casts engorgeo on it >now it's easily twice as big as ours, both in girth and length >a quick glance and you could have mistaken it for a basilisk >he looks at us and tells us to watch this closely >he takes out his wand >'TELEPORTUS!' >Hermione stiffens up >her stomach actually bulges to even manage to store this inhumane poop >actually felt sorry for her for a moment >we watch as Hermione builds up strength to begin to pass this colossus >pretty much everyone has left her by this point >Hermione's legs and arms are trembling beneath her >she's definitely having the struggle of a lifetime >with each loud groan we see the crap move out an inch >it doesn't even break off >'I should cut back on the fiber' Snape says >several intense minutes later it appears as if it's levitating out of Hermione's stretched anus >it's that solid >Hermione's shaking immensely now >with a last push it falls to the ground >so does Hermione out of exhaustion >'my job here is done' Snape says before stretching his legs to his hut >we can't help but stare at Hermione's ravaged arse >moments later we hear Dumbledore shout '500 points to Gryffindor' from a nearby window
2/2
>he looks over at Hermione, her violated butthole next to a pile of excrement >he drops his pants and shits >he then casts engorgeo on it >now it's easily twice as big as ours, both in girth and length >a quick glance and you could have mistaken it for a basilisk >he looks at us and tells us to watch this closely >he takes out his wand >'TELEPORTUS!' >Hermione stiffens up >her stomach actually bulges to even manage to store this inhumane poop >actually felt sorry for her for a moment >we watch as Hermione builds up strength to begin to pass this colossus >pretty much everyone has left her by this point >Hermione's legs and arms are trembling beneath her >she's definitely having the struggle of a lifetime >with each loud groan we see the crap move out an inch >it doesn't even break off >'I should cut back on the fiber' Snape says >several intense minutes later it appears as if it's levitating out of Hermione's stretched anus >it's that solid >Hermione's shaking immensely now >with a last push it falls to the ground >so does Hermione out of exhaustion >'my job here is done' Snape says before stretching his legs to his hut >we can't help but stare at Hermione's ravaged arse >moments later we hear Dumbledore shout '500 points to Gryffindor' from a nearby window
2/2
How is it that dumb fricking Harry Potter of all things, these threads still always turn out gold after all these years?
>he looks over at Hermione, her violated butthole next to a pile of excrement >he drops his pants and shits >he then casts engorgeo on it >now it's easily twice as big as ours, both in girth and length >a quick glance and you could have mistaken it for a basilisk >he looks at us and tells us to watch this closely >he takes out his wand >'TELEPORTUS!' >Hermione stiffens up >her stomach actually bulges to even manage to store this inhumane poop >actually felt sorry for her for a moment >we watch as Hermione builds up strength to begin to pass this colossus >pretty much everyone has left her by this point >Hermione's legs and arms are trembling beneath her >she's definitely having the struggle of a lifetime >with each loud groan we see the crap move out an inch >it doesn't even break off >'I should cut back on the fiber' Snape says >several intense minutes later it appears as if it's levitating out of Hermione's stretched anus >it's that solid >Hermione's shaking immensely now >with a last push it falls to the ground >so does Hermione out of exhaustion >'my job here is done' Snape says before stretching his legs to his hut >we can't help but stare at Hermione's ravaged arse >moments later we hear Dumbledore shout '500 points to Gryffindor' from a nearby window
2/2
>he looks over at Hermione, her violated butthole next to a pile of excrement >he drops his pants and shits >he then casts engorgeo on it >now it's easily twice as big as ours, both in girth and length >a quick glance and you could have mistaken it for a basilisk >he looks at us and tells us to watch this closely >he takes out his wand >'TELEPORTUS!' >Hermione stiffens up >her stomach actually bulges to even manage to store this inhumane poop >actually felt sorry for her for a moment >we watch as Hermione builds up strength to begin to pass this colossus >pretty much everyone has left her by this point >Hermione's legs and arms are trembling beneath her >she's definitely having the struggle of a lifetime >with each loud groan we see the crap move out an inch >it doesn't even break off >'I should cut back on the fiber' Snape says >several intense minutes later it appears as if it's levitating out of Hermione's stretched anus >it's that solid >Hermione's shaking immensely now >with a last push it falls to the ground >so does Hermione out of exhaustion >'my job here is done' Snape says before stretching his legs to his hut >we can't help but stare at Hermione's ravaged arse >moments later we hear Dumbledore shout '500 points to Gryffindor' from a nearby window
2/2
Cappin' for posterity. Giggled like a silly-billy.
>he looks over at Hermione, her violated butthole next to a pile of excrement >he drops his pants and shits >he then casts engorgeo on it >now it's easily twice as big as ours, both in girth and length >a quick glance and you could have mistaken it for a basilisk >he looks at us and tells us to watch this closely >he takes out his wand >'TELEPORTUS!' >Hermione stiffens up >her stomach actually bulges to even manage to store this inhumane poop >actually felt sorry for her for a moment >we watch as Hermione builds up strength to begin to pass this colossus >pretty much everyone has left her by this point >Hermione's legs and arms are trembling beneath her >she's definitely having the struggle of a lifetime >with each loud groan we see the crap move out an inch >it doesn't even break off >'I should cut back on the fiber' Snape says >several intense minutes later it appears as if it's levitating out of Hermione's stretched anus >it's that solid >Hermione's shaking immensely now >with a last push it falls to the ground >so does Hermione out of exhaustion >'my job here is done' Snape says before stretching his legs to his hut >we can't help but stare at Hermione's ravaged arse >moments later we hear Dumbledore shout '500 points to Gryffindor' from a nearby window
2/2
This begs the question, why didn't wizards just teleport the poop out of their intestines before they shit it out, rather than hope that the smell and stains are all perfectly transported away after shitting their pants in public.
They didn't shit their pants. Aristocrats in that era paid poor people to bring them a pot or bucket to piss/shit in and then take it away to be thrown on the dung heap. Even at fancy dinner parties they'd just piss into a pot right next to the table rather than leave the room. The only difference was that that Rowling's wizards magicked it away right after, instead of eating or sleeping in a room that's got a pot of piss in it.
>he looks over at Hermione, her violated butthole next to a pile of excrement >he drops his pants and shits >he then casts engorgeo on it >now it's easily twice as big as ours, both in girth and length >a quick glance and you could have mistaken it for a basilisk >he looks at us and tells us to watch this closely >he takes out his wand >'TELEPORTUS!' >Hermione stiffens up >her stomach actually bulges to even manage to store this inhumane poop >actually felt sorry for her for a moment >we watch as Hermione builds up strength to begin to pass this colossus >pretty much everyone has left her by this point >Hermione's legs and arms are trembling beneath her >she's definitely having the struggle of a lifetime >with each loud groan we see the crap move out an inch >it doesn't even break off >'I should cut back on the fiber' Snape says >several intense minutes later it appears as if it's levitating out of Hermione's stretched anus >it's that solid >Hermione's shaking immensely now >with a last push it falls to the ground >so does Hermione out of exhaustion >'my job here is done' Snape says before stretching his legs to his hut >we can't help but stare at Hermione's ravaged arse >moments later we hear Dumbledore shout '500 points to Gryffindor' from a nearby window
2/2
>he looks over at Hermione, her violated butthole next to a pile of excrement >he drops his pants and shits >he then casts engorgeo on it >now it's easily twice as big as ours, both in girth and length >a quick glance and you could have mistaken it for a basilisk >he looks at us and tells us to watch this closely >he takes out his wand >'TELEPORTUS!' >Hermione stiffens up >her stomach actually bulges to even manage to store this inhumane poop >actually felt sorry for her for a moment >we watch as Hermione builds up strength to begin to pass this colossus >pretty much everyone has left her by this point >Hermione's legs and arms are trembling beneath her >she's definitely having the struggle of a lifetime >with each loud groan we see the crap move out an inch >it doesn't even break off >'I should cut back on the fiber' Snape says >several intense minutes later it appears as if it's levitating out of Hermione's stretched anus >it's that solid >Hermione's shaking immensely now >with a last push it falls to the ground >so does Hermione out of exhaustion >'my job here is done' Snape says before stretching his legs to his hut >we can't help but stare at Hermione's ravaged arse >moments later we hear Dumbledore shout '500 points to Gryffindor' from a nearby window
2/2
not even a scatgay but my dick twitched a little reading this ngl
I'm glad someone else noticed this hack's awful direction. There's even a scene in OotP where Emma looks like she's about to burst out laughing. The characters mostly just stand around anemically and deliver their lines completely dispassionately. Yates' movies sucked all the soul from the series.
I don't think it's any secret, the series wanted a director to commit to doing more than one film and the only directors who would be willing to do that are going to be for-hire hacks.
Nah. Frick him. He started this whole grimdark bullshit in what was essentially a children's fantasy series.
3 months ago
Anonymous
the whole 3rd book's theme is grimdark because it's largely focused on evil creatures that float around making the weather gloomy, giving everyone an ecstasy hangover and trying to their suck their souls out of their mouths. Cuaron did a great job producing that feeling while still managing to make the film more colorful than all its successors
and then the series gets progressively darker as the evil wizards takeover. despite the series being kinda goofy and fun the driving themes and subject matter are actually pretty dark. there's a lot of torture, murder, mind-rape, and existentialism. one of the mistakes of the later films is failing to fully capture this shift in tone. the author claims the main theme is death
3 months ago
Anonymous
>largely focused on evil creatures that float around making the weather gloomy
Pidgeons?
Cuaron definitely made the most memorable and quality film. For some reason Reddit hates him.
3 months ago
Anonymous
I don't understand, when the hell is Reddit's problem with him?
3 months ago
Anonymous
harry potter fans treat the books like the Bible, and any director who chooses to make changes for the adaptation is evil
3 months ago
Anonymous
>and any director who chooses to make changes for the adaptation is evil
From my point of view, JK Rowling is evil!
3 months ago
Anonymous
>For some reason Reddit hates him.
Bullshit, PoA is (rightly) acclaimed by all of the internet (with the exception of the Cinemaphile contrarians) as the best HP film, it's GoF many there hate
It's not as obvious as I remembered, but it still looks like she's trying not to smile when she's supposed to be all serious at the end.
Cuaron definitely made the most memorable and quality film. For some reason Reddit hates him.
the whole 3rd book's theme is grimdark because it's largely focused on evil creatures that float around making the weather gloomy, giving everyone an ecstasy hangover and trying to their suck their souls out of their mouths. Cuaron did a great job producing that feeling while still managing to make the film more colorful than all its successors
and then the series gets progressively darker as the evil wizards takeover. despite the series being kinda goofy and fun the driving themes and subject matter are actually pretty dark. there's a lot of torture, murder, mind-rape, and existentialism. one of the mistakes of the later films is failing to fully capture this shift in tone. the author claims the main theme is death
PoA is a horrendous adaptation that sprints through the plot of the book, neglecting everything
>nothing on Scabbers illness or that something is wrong or the Egyptian photograph >no building the antagonistic relationship between Crookshanks and Scabbers, suggesting something further than predatory impulse >no sightings of the black dog and Crookshanks >nothing on Shrieking Shack, how or why the Marauders became animagus >nothing on Sirius "trying to kill Ron" during the night >no real demonstration of Lupus as a good teacher or much development between him and Harry beyond "eat this chocolate lol"
Disgraceful
3 months ago
Anonymous
For me? It's the beginning where Harry comes across a spooky haunted playground and then Sirius fricking growls at him, making him fall and call the bus. Instead of Harry just being startled by a large black dog lurking in the shadows and tripping, calling the bus. Such a fricking terrible change.
That's pretty typical for a school particularly when you are being scolded or questioned. What you think one is going to be leaning against the wall, one sitting on the floor, and another standing by the door? They're talking to their fricking professors at an English boarding school, moron.
>dude always be ashamed of sex and never let children find out always keep them sheltered and coddled >wait why are all women whoring themselves out the instant they have a single spec of freedom??????
Girls should not be obsessing over sex, you degenerate trannie homosexual. It leads to them treating sex are more important than pair bonding. A woman should only be getting pleasure from her husband, she should not be introduced to sex toys, you fricking pile of garbage. Someone get a noose for this queer.
I actually heard about this in one of those trashy gossip magazines
Some mum couldn't figure out why her 11 year old daughter and all her friends spent ages playing with the broom in her room
how can someone that good looking have a brother that looks completely average
I don't get it, shouldn't he have been one of the most attractive guys on earth along with his sister?
And she's anything but average otherwise. Shouldn't she have been some boring looking British person that comes from an average looking family instead of looking that good and making my life hell for not being able to be with her?
3 months ago
Anonymous
>Shouldn't she have been some boring looking British person
I've just told you: That's not how genetics work. There is no "good looks" gene. Just genes that influence certain phenotypical traits. No guarantee that those mesh well.
Emma was truly a angel. Imagine how beautiful she would have turned out if some one wed her and bed her when she was 18 and gave her plentiful kids to take care of
Imagine removing her robes and licking her tiny body all over, nibbling her neck and kissing her adorable little nipples. Only a heartless monster wouldnt think about her cute girlish mouth and tongue wrapped around a thick wiener slick with her saliva, pumping in and out of her mouth until it erupts, the cum more than her little throat can swallow.
The idea of thick viscous semen overflowing, dribbling down her chin over her flat chest, her tiny hands scooping it all up and watching her suck it off her fingertips is just amazing. Spreading her smooth slender thighs, wiener poised at the entrance to her pure, tight, virginal wunny, and thrusting in deep as a whimper escapes her lips which are slippery with cum, while her small body shudders from having her cherry taken in one quick stroke.
You lean over her, listening to her quickening breath, her girlish moans and gasps while you hasten your strokes, her sweet pants warm and moist on your face and her flat chest, shiny with a sheen of fresh sweat, rising and falling rapidly to meet yours.
You'd run your hands all over her tiny body while you violate her, feeling her nipples hardening against your tongue as you lick her chest, her neck and her armpits, savoring the scent of her skin and sweat while she trembles from the stimulation and as she reaches her climax, hearing her cry out softly as she has her first orgasm while that wiener is buried impossibly deep inside her, pulsing violently as an intense amount of hot cum spurts forth and floods through her freshly-deflowered wunny for the first time, filling her womb only to spill out of her with a sickening squelch. And as you lie atop her flushed body, she sighs breathlessly and her fingers dig into your back as she feels your wiener hardening inside her again.
Man, if I was Harry in HP 7 in that tent with Hermione, I would've been face deep in her British crumpet the entire time. Just conceptualizing the redolence of her hairy unwashed muff after days of not being able to shower would've driven me wild. The musky aroma of her bush combined with my raging hormones would've been too insane to control. I would've given up on my search for magical artifacts and shit and would've been balls deep in her for days. Engorio indeed.
It's because the movie producers didn't give a shit about the other houses. They had some midget in a suit and then decided whatever it's Flitwick who cares.
Easily offended nogs and nog adjacent white protectors (NAWPs) write this stuff when they sleep, and upon awakening have no recollection and feel offended all over again. They're basically self-sucking penises, there's no way any of this shit is normal.
Why did they gradually reduce her smug as time went on? She was so much better in the first films than in the very last ones. (Personality-wise, I mean - so keep it in your pants, guys.)
neat idea but I always reupload these things anyway sorry anon
https://voca.ro/1vmczhTfKM7K
https://voca.ro/1mWnMEmyWTAz
https://voca.ro/1m3FsRjpknDG
https://voca.ro/113HwC6VCpSQ
https://voca.ro/113HwC6VCpSQ
https://voca.ro/15ZqQIL9wFzD
https://voca.ro/1lybWvh1sz8B
https://voca.ro/1ePa6ZcE3Syn
Only a Harry Pottah gay like ne would get the reference, Emma Wattson's first crush was Tom Felton (Draco), in Wattson's words he was "so cool", when they were teens Felton would ride his skateboard with Emma just on front of him making close contact with their bodies.
> be me, 11-year-old wizard > get letter from Hogwarts > mfw (my face when) I learn I'm a wizard > go to Diagon Alley, buy a wand and an owl > first day at Hogwarts > sorted into Gryffindor > potion class with Snape > accidentally mix wrong ingredients > potion explodes, Snape's hair turns pink > whole class laughs > later, try to cast a simple spell > end up turning my friend's hair blue > typical day at Hogwarts
>>hair turns pink >> whole class laughs >> later, try to cast a simple spell >> end up turning my friend's hair blue
Sounds more like a typical day in California
That list that used to be posted showing the difference in IMDB rating for movies between men and women had all the Harry Potter movies EXCEPT Azkaban on it. Because bros know.
imagine if you were capable of applying the text to these images instead of to the filename
6 year old kids can do it, but not you
it still wouldnt have been funny, but at least it wouldnt have been sad
HARRY FRICKING POTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH YOU WEASLY LITTLE FOUR EYED FRICKING NERD DID YOU SPIKE THE ENTIRE BUTTERBEER SUPPLY WITH YOUR BOTTLE OF LIQUID LUCK A POLYJUICE POTION MADE FROM A LOCK OF HERMIONE'S HAIR
THE ENTIRE FRICKING SCHOOL LOOKS LIKE MISS GRANGER RIGHT NOW AND THEY'RE GOING OUT INTO DIAGON ALLEY TO GET FRICKING DEFILED BY EVERY MAN THAT EVEN LOOKS AT THEM
YOU STUPID LITTLE SHIT HARRY I LET SLIDE THE FACT THAT YOU SNAPPED MY FRICKING ELDER WAND, I HAD THAT SHIT IN MY GRAVE SO THAT YOU COULD GET IT BACK ONE DAY AND RULE HOGWARTS WITH IT BUT OHHHHH NOOOO ABSOLUTE POWER OR SOME SHIT CORRUPTS HUH. NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE, YOU'VE MADE ALL THIS GRANGER PUSSY AND LEFT ME NONE OF IT.
GO OUTSIDE AND CAST IMPERIUS ON ALL OF THEM RIGHT NOW AND BRING THEM TO MY CHAMBERS. I'LL ONLY AWARD GRYFFINDOR 200 POINTS FOR NOW BUT I'LL ADD AN EXTRA 50 FOR EVERY TIME I GET LAID.
>I know you, you are Never-will-be-a-woman Nick >I prefer Miss Noelle, if you don't mind >Never-will-be-a-woman? How can you be never-will-be-a woman >Like this: *shows his pus-infected gaping "neovegana" made out of ass and ballshack to first year students*
>Hey Harry have fun back at school by the way here's a magic two way mirror so we can safely talk while you're at school >Hey Harry it's been a few months fancy seeing you in this fire. You wanted to talk to me badly? Well keep breaking into Hitlers office to talk to me, don't bother using that magic mirror I gave you. >Hey Harry I'm here to save you. You were worried about me and couldn't get in touch with me so you broke out of school to fight Death Eaters on your own? Well don't worry I'll be out of your hair soon. But remember to keep that magic two way mirror for important deus ex machinas later, I'm going to fall through this lacy, gently wafting curtain now.
>>Hey Harry it's been a few months fancy seeing you in this fire. You wanted to talk to me badly? Well keep breaking into Hitlers office to talk to me, don't bother using that magic mirror I gave you.
Sirius hadn't given Harry the mirror at that point.
>>Hey Harry I'm here to save you. You were worried about me and couldn't get in touch with me so you broke out of school to fight Death Eaters on your own? Well don't worry I'll be out of your hair soon. But remember to keep that magic two way mirror for important deus ex machinas later, I'm going to fall through this lacy, gently wafting curtain now.
Harry's visions had never been false until that point, so he had no reason to believe he was being tricked, and in his conviction that his dear godfather was being tortured he wasn't going to waste time on a phone call instead of hauling ass to save him.
>he wasn't going to waste time
yes, why call someone who can literally teleport over there in a split second instead of getting your buddies to ride invisible flying horses to London with you, there's no time to lose!
>mfw my old hard drive full of dumbledoreposts and audios carefully crafted by anons to go along with them are forever lost due to a recent house fire
At least my insurance is covering all the damage but frick man all my OC and quality memes are gone forever
>HDD decided to stop working >all my memes gone >keep searching for things I thought I had saved >remembering it's all gone
Honestly feels like dementia or something. You keep thinking you have it somewhere while being unable to find it.
Frick I hate dataloss.
He's talking about Alzheimer's. The thing that happens when you live next door to a moronic wizard and the government keeps wiping your brain every time you see them magicking away the dog poop on their lawn, until you can't remember anything any more.
Didn't rowling say wizards shat on the floor and magic-ed it away before muggles invented toilets? Doesn't this mean that according to canon, indians in the potterverse are wizards who forgot how to do magic?
That story from her finally made the whole "the basilisk moves through the walls by using the plumbing" thing make sense. Because the plumbing they put in isn't actually used to transport piss and shit, that just get vanished once it passes the U-Bend. But in typical wizard fashion they didn't understand the real workings of a toilet and so thought all the other pipes were still necessary.
3 months ago
Anonymous
uh ackhyally the plumbing works because someone flushed the girl ghost down the toilet and she ended up in the lake in book 4
3 months ago
Anonymous
Because the wizards thought that's where you had to make pipes go for the toilet to work, copying muggle designs verbatim. They're obviously not flushing all their shit and piss directly into the lake because if they did then Harry would have been swimming through forests made out of toilet paper in Goblet of Fire.
3 months ago
Anonymous
What makes you think they use toilet paper at Hogwarts?
3 months ago
Anonymous
How do you flush a ghost anyway?
Ghosts are immaterial, right? So how come water doesn't flush right through hem? Here on their bodies can it apply its force?
3 months ago
Anonymous
how does Filch shit then?
3 months ago
Anonymous
He can still use the magical toilets. None of the children know how to cast the vanishing spell and so they made toilets that do it automagically, like a vanishing cabinet that anyone can use without casting any spells.
>yfw Hogwarts was an early adopter of toilets precisely because it was a boarding school where a bunch of kids would live away from their parents for the first time, those parents having been the ones who vanished their shit and piss every day before then and so the kids could not be trusted to vanish their shit themselves without making it appear in the great hall or explode >yfw before then they'd use chamberpots and then have to call out for a teacher or prefect to vanish it for them, which is why prefects got the privilege of their own bathroom with better bathtubs
>mfw my old hard drive full of dumbledoreposts and audios carefully crafted by anons to go along with them are forever lost due to a recent house fire
At least my insurance is covering all the damage but frick man all my OC and quality memes are gone forever
There was this vertical that got posted in the old Sherlock threads after the season where he faked his death. It was explaining how he faked it in a logical step by step way, like using the ball to remove his pulse etc, and then in the last panel it went "and then Falcor The Luck Dragon swooped in to catch him mid-fall" or something and Sherlock was shopped into riding on Falcor. I saved it but lost it at some point and now I've been looking for that fricking thing for YEARS at this point. Like tears in rain...
Frick that sounds funny. Some of the best OC in this website is flash in the pan and gets saved to a few hard drives never to be seen again. I have a habit of preserving almost anything an anon puts effort into.
I feel your pain bro. I have every file I've ever saved on a computer stretching back to 1995..... except a period between 2007 and 2010 due to a crash. The things that are missing in that gap are priceless...
me too man. I have a micro SD that I (for moronic as frick reasons) had encrypted on an old phone and I can't de-encrypt it because the phone had been formatted, on 2022 I tried to fix it because it didn't turn on.and they couldn't find any spare parts of my cellphone so I sold my phone to the store so they could use some of their spare parts. i got like 8 dollars for it. and now I still have the micro sd and I can't find a place to de-encrypt it. and all my 2016 to 2018 pictures are missing on it. and what pisses me off is that I had a lot of pictures of my favourite kitty that is now dead so its fricking sad man.
>“Harry, did I ever tell you about my secret nephew Aurelius? He was an illegitimate half-muggle love child whom his family was ashamed of, so his mother’s sister sailed to the United States with him as a baby, instead of his father or mother. When the ship started to sink (because it was the Titanic), the unrelated half-black daughter of a rapist mind control wizard switched him out with her half-brother (whose mother was consensual, and also white). The rapist wizard didn't care about the daughter, but he did love his son, and he was afraid that his daughter’s mother's son would be angry that his mother was mind control raped and kill the baby instead of the rapist, so he sent the son he loved across the sea (on the Titanic) to be raised in an orphanage by a muggle who hated magic instead of protecting him himself. Anyway, both babies just happened to be magic, so the daughter switched them so she could have a less annoying brother. His aunt thought that her nephew was still on the Titanic, and felt so strongly about this secret shame child that she’d tried to abandon in America that she tried to swim down and rescue him and drowned instead of just using magic while the rape daughter watched and did nothing to inform her that her real son was already safe. She then gave my nephew to a French half-elf servant who served the mother, and after the mother was raped and died in childbirth, that meant she had to continue serving the rapist, who thought he was the real son, and delivered him to the orphanage. My nephew was then raised as a muggle who didn't know how to control his magic, destroyed half of New York, had sex with Voldemort's pet snake, pioneered goth fashion, killed Bambi, and joined the alt-right led by a gay, sodomizable wizard Nazi who wanted to stop WWII. By the way, don’t ask why they used a muggle boat instead of apparating or flying across the ocean. They were all good friends, except the rapist mind control wizard” he said calmly.
All I have to say about the Harry Potter books that hasnt been said 10000 times is that Rowling uses tag questions SO MANY FRICKING TIMES.
People meme about "Stretch his legs" but Im pretty sure that over 7 books, she has characters say shit like "THATS BLOODY CRAZY, ISNT IT?" around 500 times.
Bros I've matched with an italian cutie on Bumble that looks like Hermione, same haircut and everything, she even have the "it's leviosaaa" meme in her bio.
Give me ideas for when she comes chatting with me.
>watch About A Boy as a boy >already have an /ss/ fetish and so get a major crush on the older punk girl >then she reappears as the spunky HP girl with punk hair who can also shape-change
Since I was about 13, I've roleplayed, both online and offline (more offline than online after I became an adult obviously), sexual fantasies based within the Harry Potter world. From the mundane "shagging the professor" types, to "milf Ginny being railed by her son's friend(s)", to werewolf fricking, to pureblood incest. The whole gamut. What I've learned is that the ultimate turn on for women is degenerate sex with plausible deniability as to the bawdtery of it.
ie. fricking 20 different men while married (degenerate) BUT it's because that's how wizards do sperm donation (no guilt or responsibility) or fricking your son's friends (degenerate) BUT it's because you got enchanted by some lust magic (no guilt or responsibility).
I'd say that was the framework for over 90% of the roleplaying.
>You realize women have sex with men, right?
You realize that if a woman has sex with a man, that also means that said man has the same exact sexual act with a woman, right? The only way something can be "big AMONG women" is when they do it without any men participating.
>The only way something can be "big AMONG women"
Not necessarily. It could be an unfulfilled fetish, for example or one that the women enjoys but the man only does because she enjoys it.
That said, women absolutely are roleplaying straight sex with each other online, in these fantasy worlds. And gay (male) sex too. Very, very rarely lesbian sex unless you trick them into it.
>And gay (male) sex too.
You mean anal with a strap-on? That sounds like a terrible idea.
3 months ago
Anonymous
No I mean they're writing erotic roleplays with each other wherein they play two male characters that have lots of gay sex. In the HP fandom, the main two couplings are Sirius/Remus and then Draco/Harry.
3 months ago
Anonymous
are girls into sneed/chuck RP?
3 months ago
Anonymous
im more of a remus/hermione kind of guy
3 months ago
Anonymous
I never enjoyed when they played Hermione because she has no degenerate angles to play with, the way the Weasleys have.
>final day of the term >everyone in the Great Hall >Gryffindor and Troonerin are tied for the lead in points >Dumbledore begins his speech >"It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends" >"Ms. Rowling, for your courage in telling off the trannies I award 5 points to Gryffindor" >"Troonerin, I have not forgotten your contributions this year, I award you a point for every gender" >Troonerin table erupts in celebration, thinking they have won the House Cup >"2 points to Troonerin!" Dumbledore calmly shouts "Congratulations on your House Cup victory, Gryffindor!" >"Now for the decorations!" >Dumbledore gently flicks his wrist as all Troonerins start swinging around with red and gold rope tied around their neck >"Minerva, pass the treacle" Dumbledore says with a grin
>tfw you realize that the version of events depicted in the story is just a tall tale Harry made up >Harry actually killed Squirrel and incinerated his body, then claimed he did it because the victim had been possessed by Voldemort >Harry unleashes a Basilisk on the school, abducts Ginny Weasely and rapes her, then makes up some story about a possessed diary >Harry helps a dangerous animal and a convicted murderer escape, excuses it by shifting the blame on his best friend's rat >Harry kills his rival Cedric who is about to beat him in some shitty tournament, then blames it all on Voldemort >Harry tries to kill his cousin, blames dementors >Harry kills Dumbledore, blames it on Snape >Harry kills Snape and burns down his school, says that Voldemort came back from the dead and did it >... and "All was well."
That show is so fricking dead on arrival. I can't believe they guys running HBO now are so moronic that they're betting on a show remake of a book and film franchise instead of making a Hogwarts show with a completely new storyline to at least grab some people who want new stories set in a magical castle.
Its incredibly stupid that they're just remaking the books when the movies were so well recieved but I really doubt its going to flop. Remember how well Hogwarts Legacy did?
Remember how well the last Harry Potter universe movie did? And that was a new story meant to make the old fans continue watching to find out the secrets of Dumbledore.
can someone give me a qrd for the Weinstein thing? how could he frick so many actresses and why especially him? why did he inparticular have so much power that after he was gone, most of his actresses' carreer died?
Because producers and the money they move controls everything. Vast majority of cinema artistry is a smokescreen marketing trick or coincidental, movies are made by businessmen to make more money. All the celebrity status these women enjoy is artificial, it exists solely because the media machine insists it exists. When the curtains part and you realize it's all a lie, you can either suck a mangled israeli wiener for a few more years of the illusion or get kicked out and replaced by another fresh faced piece of ass.
so harvey was a producer? judging by how many famous actress' carreers died, was he especially important among producers?
and is what hervey did a common occurance in hollywood among producers? will there eventually be another scandal like Weinstein?
He was a huge producer. Owned Miramax at one point and then the Weinstein Company, you can look up all the movies they made. Those careers died because it's the fate of nearly every hot young actress, very rarely do women transition gracefully into old lady actors. The scandal happened because the media wanted to fire people up with the #MeToo shit, it was always there from the goldem age of cinema, sleazy fricking businessmen having full control over beautiful young woman in a closed off secretive environment. It happens everywhere, the scandal didn't fix anything, everything is evil, don't trust the israelites.
He produced like a hundred kinos during the 90s, 00s, and 10s. All the films around the turn of the century that this board remembers fondly had Harvey's name plastered at the end credits.
>"YES YES WELL DONE SYLTHERIN, HOWEVER" Dumbledore roared calmly >The hall was dead silent. Slytherin House waited anxiously >"However nothing, haha!" Dumbledore ejaculated jovially onto the crowd. "Slytherin has won! You are the rightful winners of this year's House Cup. Well done." >"Draco Malfoy, come forward to accept your house's most deserved reward!" the old man said in his dignified, Liberace high voice. >Slytherin House cheered as their champion >Draco stretched his legs to claim their prize, his face beaming, his chiseled chin held high and haughty. >The hall filled with green and silver banners cascading from the bannisters over the Cisgendered children below >Nearly-Circumcised Nick cheered with the other ghosts, standing in the corner >It was the proudest moment of Draco's young life, he, heir of his house, Head Boy, Prefect of Slytherin. >The product of generations of immaculate Natzee breeding, which is a bad thing, ya'know >Now his father, hot-headed, solid, yet steely cold, would expel pride upon him as he returned to his stately manner at Wizard Christmas. >He took haughty strides up to the podium, until at least he came right in front of the old, venerable headmaster, who unexpectedly stood up. >Why would he be so generous? Malfoy thought, as he knew Dumbledore hated his kind. >Perhaps age had mellowed the old bumfellow, made his throbbing, biased hart more flaccid in its perfectly legal discrimination....
>"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS" he cried, his hard, elderly wand erect in his hands, pointed at Malfoy >The boy fell in front of the podium, rigid as a board, his eyes glaring with complete and utter shock at the headmaster's actions. >"COLLOPORTUS!" Dumbledore shot into the air with a roaring boom. locking all the doors in the hall. >With Malfoy's stiffened body propped up against the podium, Dumbledore turned around, dropped his trousers, and revealed the most very forbidden forest, white, grey, and speckled with brown. >A magnificent groan echoed throughout the hall, as the headmaster squatted down above the boy's face. >BRAAAP >BRAAAAAAPPPPP >The entire hall gasped in horror as Dumbledore's steaming greenish stink splattered across Malfoy's face. All the poor boy could do was take it. >A wretched smell filled the air, something worse than a Troll after sweet copulation >BRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPP >"AHAHAHAHAHA! WELL DONE SLYTHERIN, OH YES SYLTHERIN EXCELLENT INDEED! HEHEHEHE!" Gandolf bellowed insanely as his brown bowel brew blasted forth from his prolapsed butthole, gushing hot torrent after gushing hot torrent >"BRRRAAAAPPPP >The Professors threw their heads back in hysterical laughter. There was no question that they were having the time of their lives, watching as Dumbledore's putrid poop potion plastered Malfoy's prissy pretty boy face. >BRRAAPP >The students were in chaos. Slytherin House was absolutely humiliated as their Headmaster's cankerous colon concoction encrusted Malfoy's face, his clothes, and the floor, spreading through the entire hall. >Eventually Dumbledore's fecal fountain floundered. He pulled up his trousers, angrily screaming calmly "DID YOU SLYTHERIN SCUM SINCERELY SURMISE THAT I WOULD LET YOU WIN ANYTHING?! YOU ARE SATAN'S CHILDREN! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE WARS IN HISTORY! YOUR CRUCIFIED OUR LORD AND SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST!" >The entire hall erupted into applause at Dumbledore's righteous rebuke of the demonic Slytherin israelites. The end.
In one of the first jobs I had to process paperwork for a guy named Chim Chalalabad and I remember thinking that I couldn't come up with a more racist name if I tried.
Roger Clark (Arthur) from Red Dead Redemption 2 does these as well. First thought it was cool but then saw the prices and the results and realized it's all literally "You may remember me from..."
"MUDBLOODS could be here" he thought, "I've never been in this neighborhood before. There could be MUDBLOODS anywhere." The cool wind felt good against his bare chest. "I HATE MUDBLOODS" he thought. Unforgivable curses reverberated his entire wand, making it pulsate even as the 2 sickle butterbeer circulated through his powerful thick veins and washed away his (merited) disgust of impure bloodlines after dark. "With a horcrux, you can live forever" he said to himself, out loud.
> "Nothing like a hot butterbeer on a cold morning, eh?" said Dumbledore cheerfully. He took a sip. The prisoner squirmed against the ropes binding him to the chair. "When I was a kid, I never ate breakfast- we barely had any food- but now it's my favorite meal of the day. My students? I make sure they always start the day with a hot meal." > Dumbledore sat before the man. "It's funny, some people, they say they'd never steal? But then you've got a face on the back of your head, Dark Lord to take care of... you'll do anything. Which is why I'm not angry. What's your name again?" > "Q...Quirinus Q-Quirrell..." > "Really, I'm not. You're a thief, right? You steal things for a living. Correct?" > Snape slapped Quirrell hard. "Answer the man when he speaks." > "Y-yes..." > "Ok. So on the one hand we have you, Quirrell- a thief- and on the other hand, we have Mr. Hagrid here, who protects the chamber where I store the Sorcerer's Stone. One night Mr. Hagrid accidentally tells Harry Potter about the chamber. The thief, spotting an opportunity to serve his master, comes in and robs the chamber with an unknown accomplice. Now I ask you Mr. Hagrid, what do thieves do?" > "Beg your pardon?" > "It's a simple question, what do thieves do?" > "They... steal things?" > "Correct! And groundskeepers?" > "...keep things?" > "Right again. So who, in this scenario, wasn't doing their job?" The thief - who's job is to steal things, or..." he turned to Hagrid, "the fricking imbecile who left a chamber with the Sorcerer's Stone unlocked while taking a goddamn dump?" > "The imbecile?" said Hagrid. > "The imbecile!" said Dumbledore. He stood. "I'm not angry Quirrell. You were only doing your job." > "Thank you, Headmaster" > "Who was your partner?" > "Lucius Malfoy." >"Malfoy... untie him," Dumbledore said to Snape. He turned to leave. > "...Oh but before you do, cast a killing curse on this mother fricker." > "No! Please!" > "Some people you do not steal from," said Snape, drawing his wand.
That takes me back
>first year at Hogwarts
>witness that mudblood Hermione slapping my fellow Slytherin house member Draco
>assemble my friends and tell them my plan of revenge
somehourslater.scroll
>we stretch our legs in pursuit of Hermione
>Hermione gets among her fellow house members outside
>we're hiding in the distance behind some bushes so they can't see us
itstimetostrike.mp3
>drop out pants and with loud grunts we give birth to massive poops
>we've been saving our poops for days
>we complements eachother's poops before I aim my wand on mine
>'TELEPORTUS'
>we watch with glee as Hermione's face changes
>she drops her pants as fast as lightning and crouches
>her friends doesn't bat an eye as it's still practiced to defecate & evaporate
>she's certainly pushing hard to get it out
>just as Hermione let it go we teleport in another poop
>we hear Hermione grunting loudly
>her friends starts paying attention to her
>she's clearly struggling as she's not used to pass poops of this magnitude and frequency
>'TELEPORTUS!'
>Hermione drops on all four with sweat forming on her forehead
>we teleport the poops with such rapidness giving her no time to gather her thoughts
>her friends' faces are mixed with confusion and disgust
>we laugh as our revenge is done
>Snape catches us
ohshit.portrait
1/2
>he looks over at Hermione, her violated butthole next to a pile of excrement
>he drops his pants and shits
>he then casts engorgeo on it
>now it's easily twice as big as ours, both in girth and length
>a quick glance and you could have mistaken it for a basilisk
>he looks at us and tells us to watch this closely
>he takes out his wand
>'TELEPORTUS!'
>Hermione stiffens up
>her stomach actually bulges to even manage to store this inhumane poop
>actually felt sorry for her for a moment
>we watch as Hermione builds up strength to begin to pass this colossus
>pretty much everyone has left her by this point
>Hermione's legs and arms are trembling beneath her
>she's definitely having the struggle of a lifetime
>with each loud groan we see the crap move out an inch
>it doesn't even break off
>'I should cut back on the fiber' Snape says
>several intense minutes later it appears as if it's levitating out of Hermione's stretched anus
>it's that solid
>Hermione's shaking immensely now
>with a last push it falls to the ground
>so does Hermione out of exhaustion
>'my job here is done' Snape says before stretching his legs to his hut
>we can't help but stare at Hermione's ravaged arse
>moments later we hear Dumbledore shout '500 points to Gryffindor' from a nearby window
2/2
>moments later we hear Dumbledore shout '500 points to Gryffindor' from a nearby window
OK this is epic
Why did he give 500 points to Gryffindor and not Slytherin if it's Slytherin's excrement? Someone on Slytherin should correct him on that.
It's a reward to Gryffindor for overcoming a heroic challenge.
redeemed by the end
Careful anon, if GRRM reads this he might start fapping one out.
wtf
beautiful
true art
There are maybe 3 moments in this greentext where I would have stopped finding it funny and closed the reply box but you persisted anon. You persisted.
Aw shiet here we go again, post the more she shat the more she drank part
>Sunset found her squatting in the dungeons, moaning. Every stool was different to the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the clock in the great hall struck 9:45 she was shitting chocolate frogs. The more she drank, the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew, and her thirst sent her crawling to Snape to ask for more potions.
yeah... I'm thinking Harry Potter is back
Thank you Vince.
lol
roflmao even
How is it that dumb fricking Harry Potter of all things, these threads still always turn out gold after all these years?
As bad as the series can be, the setting is good
frick
my dick...
Cappin' for posterity. Giggled like a silly-billy.
This begs the question, why didn't wizards just teleport the poop out of their intestines before they shit it out, rather than hope that the smell and stains are all perfectly transported away after shitting their pants in public.
Because wizards are kinked up freaks
They didn't shit their pants. Aristocrats in that era paid poor people to bring them a pot or bucket to piss/shit in and then take it away to be thrown on the dung heap. Even at fancy dinner parties they'd just piss into a pot right next to the table rather than leave the room. The only difference was that that Rowling's wizards magicked it away right after, instead of eating or sleeping in a room that's got a pot of piss in it.
Uh huh, yeah...
not even a scatgay but my dick twitched a little reading this ngl
How bout i show you something else. Come in a close the door
Takes out magic wand
lotta weirdos in this thread
>Characters just stand in a line still delivering lines
Bravo David Yates impeccable directing
I'm glad someone else noticed this hack's awful direction. There's even a scene in OotP where Emma looks like she's about to burst out laughing. The characters mostly just stand around anemically and deliver their lines completely dispassionately. Yates' movies sucked all the soul from the series.
I don't think it's any secret, the series wanted a director to commit to doing more than one film and the only directors who would be willing to do that are going to be for-hire hacks.
They got lucky with Chris Columbus on the first 2 movies, none of them after felt quite as good.
Cuaron made a proper movie. Columbus and Yates made what were essentially ports of the books.
Nah. Frick him. He started this whole grimdark bullshit in what was essentially a children's fantasy series.
the whole 3rd book's theme is grimdark because it's largely focused on evil creatures that float around making the weather gloomy, giving everyone an ecstasy hangover and trying to their suck their souls out of their mouths. Cuaron did a great job producing that feeling while still managing to make the film more colorful than all its successors
and then the series gets progressively darker as the evil wizards takeover. despite the series being kinda goofy and fun the driving themes and subject matter are actually pretty dark. there's a lot of torture, murder, mind-rape, and existentialism. one of the mistakes of the later films is failing to fully capture this shift in tone. the author claims the main theme is death
>largely focused on evil creatures that float around making the weather gloomy
Pidgeons?
Pakistanis and iraquis
Those float?
Like poo in the loo, not like you would know it.
yes
Cuaron definitely made the most memorable and quality film. For some reason Reddit hates him.
I don't understand, when the hell is Reddit's problem with him?
harry potter fans treat the books like the Bible, and any director who chooses to make changes for the adaptation is evil
>and any director who chooses to make changes for the adaptation is evil
From my point of view, JK Rowling is evil!
>For some reason Reddit hates him.
Bullshit, PoA is (rightly) acclaimed by all of the internet (with the exception of the Cinemaphile contrarians) as the best HP film, it's GoF many there hate
That's just Emma's shitty acting
PoA is a horrendous adaptation that sprints through the plot of the book, neglecting everything
>nothing on Scabbers illness or that something is wrong or the Egyptian photograph
>no building the antagonistic relationship between Crookshanks and Scabbers, suggesting something further than predatory impulse
>no sightings of the black dog and Crookshanks
>nothing on Shrieking Shack, how or why the Marauders became animagus
>nothing on Sirius "trying to kill Ron" during the night
>no real demonstration of Lupus as a good teacher or much development between him and Harry beyond "eat this chocolate lol"
Disgraceful
For me? It's the beginning where Harry comes across a spooky haunted playground and then Sirius fricking growls at him, making him fall and call the bus. Instead of Harry just being startled by a large black dog lurking in the shadows and tripping, calling the bus. Such a fricking terrible change.
>There's even a scene in OotP where Emma looks like she's about to burst out laughing
what scene?
It's not as obvious as I remembered, but it still looks like she's trying not to smile when she's supposed to be all serious at the end.
?feature=shared
that's what people do
no-one went to see a movie about a magical wizarding school where people do what people normally do
That's pretty typical for a school particularly when you are being scolded or questioned. What you think one is going to be leaning against the wall, one sitting on the floor, and another standing by the door? They're talking to their fricking professors at an English boarding school, moron.
You can frame it in a less stilted way
He said, calmly.
go stretch your legs
>this is bad
why?
Just 'murrica things. Sex is fun, can't have that.
Can't have a single thread without homosexuals like you mentioning that goofy ass country.
America isn't a country. America is a continent. Or two, depending on how you count them.
moron
Says the guy who doesn't know what his own country is called.
This cat is now in the hospital after the Russians fired rockets at civilian homes in Kharkiv
this cat has better healthcare than most americans
Another win for Russia. 2 more weeks
I now trust da plan and no longer think Russia is a weak and pathetic country.
why does this fat motherfricker need so many olives?
>dude just teach literal girls to sexually pleasure themselves
That's how you get a generation of degenerate prostitutes.
>dude always be ashamed of sex and never let children find out always keep them sheltered and coddled
>wait why are all women whoring themselves out the instant they have a single spec of freedom??????
Girls should not be obsessing over sex, you degenerate trannie homosexual. It leads to them treating sex are more important than pair bonding. A woman should only be getting pleasure from her husband, she should not be introduced to sex toys, you fricking pile of garbage. Someone get a noose for this queer.
It loosens the juices
I actually heard about this in one of those trashy gossip magazines
Some mum couldn't figure out why her 11 year old daughter and all her friends spent ages playing with the broom in her room
Reducius Phalissio Maximus
She’s schlepping gin now with her brother. I never knew how powerful Harvey really was.
>espresso martini
MARRY ME, EMMA!!!
rough
Get that cauldron out of the way arry
>Posting the edit
She's trying too hard to be quirky, though I wish she would handshake my dick like that...
tbf Swift does the same thing and people ate her slop up
how can someone that good looking have a brother that looks completely average
I don't get it, shouldn't he have been one of the most attractive guys on earth along with his sister?
That's not how genetics work.
what, are you calling her a genetic freak or something?
Nope. Quite the contrary. She's from a very genetically average family.
And she's anything but average otherwise. Shouldn't she have been some boring looking British person that comes from an average looking family instead of looking that good and making my life hell for not being able to be with her?
>Shouldn't she have been some boring looking British person
I've just told you: That's not how genetics work. There is no "good looks" gene. Just genes that influence certain phenotypical traits. No guarantee that those mesh well.
She’s an average bong that’s hit the wall
best emma likes brambles too :3
https://voca.ro/1djpEWHgek0x
https://voca.ro/120P54hfoYhk
Stupid and unsexy
A masterpiece of absurdity.
impressive
but check this out
One of my first and favorites.
Frick I knew it was a mistake to make the thread with Emma in the OP
my sides
Emma was truly a angel. Imagine how beautiful she would have turned out if some one wed her and bed her when she was 18 and gave her plentiful kids to take care of
This girl is like 10 years old here.
Wtf are you guys doing with these lewd implications
Someone like this would have no inclination of seggs
Crazy
she's a beloved television and film actress from the favorite series 'Harry Potter'
what are you implying?
>like 10 years old
What do you mean, "like"?
Imagine removing her robes and licking her tiny body all over, nibbling her neck and kissing her adorable little nipples. Only a heartless monster wouldnt think about her cute girlish mouth and tongue wrapped around a thick wiener slick with her saliva, pumping in and out of her mouth until it erupts, the cum more than her little throat can swallow.
The idea of thick viscous semen overflowing, dribbling down her chin over her flat chest, her tiny hands scooping it all up and watching her suck it off her fingertips is just amazing. Spreading her smooth slender thighs, wiener poised at the entrance to her pure, tight, virginal wunny, and thrusting in deep as a whimper escapes her lips which are slippery with cum, while her small body shudders from having her cherry taken in one quick stroke.
You lean over her, listening to her quickening breath, her girlish moans and gasps while you hasten your strokes, her sweet pants warm and moist on your face and her flat chest, shiny with a sheen of fresh sweat, rising and falling rapidly to meet yours.
You'd run your hands all over her tiny body while you violate her, feeling her nipples hardening against your tongue as you lick her chest, her neck and her armpits, savoring the scent of her skin and sweat while she trembles from the stimulation and as she reaches her climax, hearing her cry out softly as she has her first orgasm while that wiener is buried impossibly deep inside her, pulsing violently as an intense amount of hot cum spurts forth and floods through her freshly-deflowered wunny for the first time, filling her womb only to spill out of her with a sickening squelch. And as you lie atop her flushed body, she sighs breathlessly and her fingers dig into your back as she feels your wiener hardening inside her again.
>10 years old
>no inclination of seggs
Do you not remember being 10?
it's leviOsa, not leviosA!!!
>Limes Yo
So apt
god damn this picture looks like it was taken 20 years from now
>OYA LUV REMEMBAH ME I WAS IN 'ARRY POTTUH
>FANCY A SHAG THEN?
that's just makeup and lighting
GRIM
Times Ya
?
'Times Up' I am guessing. Wasn't that the buzzword they were doing when everyone who even ever smiled at a woman was getting accused of rape?
times up, roastie.
good morning, sir!
Man, if I was Harry in HP 7 in that tent with Hermione, I would've been face deep in her British crumpet the entire time. Just conceptualizing the redolence of her hairy unwashed muff after days of not being able to shower would've driven me wild. The musky aroma of her bush combined with my raging hormones would've been too insane to control. I would've given up on my search for magical artifacts and shit and would've been balls deep in her for days. Engorio indeed.
You know in the books she was ugly right? Emma sucked off producers to make her character more attractive
>Emma licked Rowling's hairy old snatch to let her shrink her teeth and have normal hair
h-hot
the original Flitwick design was so much better
then they made him look like a midget from a 70s porno
It's because the movie producers didn't give a shit about the other houses. They had some midget in a suit and then decided whatever it's Flitwick who cares.
>HARRY DID YOU WRITE 'ALL LIVES MATTER'
Who writes this stuff
anons with good sense of humor
Easily offended nogs and nog adjacent white protectors (NAWPs) write this stuff when they sleep, and upon awakening have no recollection and feel offended all over again. They're basically self-sucking penises, there's no way any of this shit is normal.
Big meme right here.
Why did they gradually reduce her smug as time went on? She was so much better in the first films than in the very last ones. (Personality-wise, I mean - so keep it in your pants, guys.)
because that's how it is in the books
The books leave enough room for interpretation to keep her smug.
no book Hermione continues to be a smarmy c**t
and fair enough she has to constantly remind Harry and Ron of things like they're moronic
>like they're moronic
Well, they ARE moronic.
"Anons, I'm not some sort of dumb bimbo you can objectify and fantasise about ramming into submission...I'm not a bimbo...honest..."
yjk Warwick ravaged her while big harv sat in the conrer and watched.
She hit the wall at 88mph
>raped to death by pakis
https://voca.ro/12hJCpAfUPbl
https://voca.ro/167yEJnPKgcj
Can you still make these? Did they shut it down? I had a really good idea for one and never got around to it...
that was a really funny week
https://voca.ro/18KtP8YNeR2D
https://voca.ro/14U1Ko8QecQ9
https://voca.ro/1nolNwLoW4oC
https://voca.ro/1aYIWWoEtv2C
I made a local userscript for annotating these so I could recognize when the same URLs were reposted but I never uploaded it
neat idea but I always reupload these things anyway sorry anon
https://voca.ro/1vmczhTfKM7K
https://voca.ro/1mWnMEmyWTAz
https://voca.ro/1m3FsRjpknDG
https://voca.ro/113HwC6VCpSQ
https://voca.ro/113HwC6VCpSQ
https://voca.ro/15ZqQIL9wFzD
https://voca.ro/1lybWvh1sz8B
https://voca.ro/1ePa6ZcE3Syn
They shut down the freebies, but it's still available for paypigs.
>She wanted to keep the tramp stamp
She really is a bimbo at heart
The Goblet of Fire depresses me with the Yuletide Ball.
Anyone else skip their schools dances?
add your own text
>skateboard
>not "wand"
apply yourself
His skateboard is why she fricked him IRL
How do you ride a wand?
I remember the GoF BTS where they imply something happened between them.
I was going to type broomstick but I had a moron moment and realized it too late. Anon did fine with the skateboard.
Only a Harry Pottah gay like ne would get the reference, Emma Wattson's first crush was Tom Felton (Draco), in Wattson's words he was "so cool", when they were teens Felton would ride his skateboard with Emma just on front of him making close contact with their bodies.
Bet Tom got a sip of her gin.
She was so cute
> be me, 11-year-old wizard
> get letter from Hogwarts
> mfw (my face when) I learn I'm a wizard
> go to Diagon Alley, buy a wand and an owl
> first day at Hogwarts
> sorted into Gryffindor
> potion class with Snape
> accidentally mix wrong ingredients
> potion explodes, Snape's hair turns pink
> whole class laughs
> later, try to cast a simple spell
> end up turning my friend's hair blue
> typical day at Hogwarts
>>hair turns pink
>> whole class laughs
>> later, try to cast a simple spell
>> end up turning my friend's hair blue
Sounds more like a typical day in California
Cinemaphile has like 2 or 3 of them, in a definitional sense.
>well done...
>...he said calmly
thats all i can think of
Which movie did she peak in?
azkaban
True, and all heterosexual men know it.
That list that used to be posted showing the difference in IMDB rating for movies between men and women had all the Harry Potter movies EXCEPT Azkaban on it. Because bros know.
acting wise? 4
>over 100 replies
>no dullest franchise pasta yet
Barilla. The dullest of all pasta franchises is Barilla.
nah...Barilla's drunken twitter rampage about trannies was p based
imagine if you were capable of applying the text to these images instead of to the filename
6 year old kids can do it, but not you
it still wouldnt have been funny, but at least it wouldnt have been sad
you should use pc next time, you smartgoy
>can't into filenames
newbie
loled out loud
much better with filenames
whats the other one?
HARRY FRICKING POTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH YOU WEASLY LITTLE FOUR EYED FRICKING NERD DID YOU SPIKE THE ENTIRE BUTTERBEER SUPPLY WITH YOUR BOTTLE OF LIQUID LUCK A POLYJUICE POTION MADE FROM A LOCK OF HERMIONE'S HAIR
THE ENTIRE FRICKING SCHOOL LOOKS LIKE MISS GRANGER RIGHT NOW AND THEY'RE GOING OUT INTO DIAGON ALLEY TO GET FRICKING DEFILED BY EVERY MAN THAT EVEN LOOKS AT THEM
YOU STUPID LITTLE SHIT HARRY I LET SLIDE THE FACT THAT YOU SNAPPED MY FRICKING ELDER WAND, I HAD THAT SHIT IN MY GRAVE SO THAT YOU COULD GET IT BACK ONE DAY AND RULE HOGWARTS WITH IT BUT OHHHHH NOOOO ABSOLUTE POWER OR SOME SHIT CORRUPTS HUH. NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE, YOU'VE MADE ALL THIS GRANGER PUSSY AND LEFT ME NONE OF IT.
GO OUTSIDE AND CAST IMPERIUS ON ALL OF THEM RIGHT NOW AND BRING THEM TO MY CHAMBERS. I'LL ONLY AWARD GRYFFINDOR 200 POINTS FOR NOW BUT I'LL ADD AN EXTRA 50 FOR EVERY TIME I GET LAID.
>I know you, you are Never-will-be-a-woman Nick
>I prefer Miss Noelle, if you don't mind
>Never-will-be-a-woman? How can you be never-will-be-a woman
>Like this: *shows his pus-infected gaping "neovegana" made out of ass and ballshack to first year students*
>Hey Harry have fun back at school by the way here's a magic two way mirror so we can safely talk while you're at school
>Hey Harry it's been a few months fancy seeing you in this fire. You wanted to talk to me badly? Well keep breaking into Hitlers office to talk to me, don't bother using that magic mirror I gave you.
>Hey Harry I'm here to save you. You were worried about me and couldn't get in touch with me so you broke out of school to fight Death Eaters on your own? Well don't worry I'll be out of your hair soon. But remember to keep that magic two way mirror for important deus ex machinas later, I'm going to fall through this lacy, gently wafting curtain now.
>>Hey Harry it's been a few months fancy seeing you in this fire. You wanted to talk to me badly? Well keep breaking into Hitlers office to talk to me, don't bother using that magic mirror I gave you.
Sirius hadn't given Harry the mirror at that point.
>>Hey Harry I'm here to save you. You were worried about me and couldn't get in touch with me so you broke out of school to fight Death Eaters on your own? Well don't worry I'll be out of your hair soon. But remember to keep that magic two way mirror for important deus ex machinas later, I'm going to fall through this lacy, gently wafting curtain now.
Harry's visions had never been false until that point, so he had no reason to believe he was being tricked, and in his conviction that his dear godfather was being tortured he wasn't going to waste time on a phone call instead of hauling ass to save him.
>he wasn't going to waste time
yes, why call someone who can literally teleport over there in a split second instead of getting your buddies to ride invisible flying horses to London with you, there's no time to lose!
>mfw my old hard drive full of dumbledoreposts and audios carefully crafted by anons to go along with them are forever lost due to a recent house fire
At least my insurance is covering all the damage but frick man all my OC and quality memes are gone forever
>he didn't get meme insurance
literally ngtmi
>HDD decided to stop working
>all my memes gone
>keep searching for things I thought I had saved
>remembering it's all gone
Honestly feels like dementia or something. You keep thinking you have it somewhere while being unable to find it.
Frick I hate dataloss.
>Honestly feels like dementia or something.
Dementia isn't a real thing. Rowling invented that for Prisoner of Azkaban.
He's talking about Alzheimer's. The thing that happens when you live next door to a moronic wizard and the government keeps wiping your brain every time you see them magicking away the dog poop on their lawn, until you can't remember anything any more.
Didn't rowling say wizards shat on the floor and magic-ed it away before muggles invented toilets? Doesn't this mean that according to canon, indians in the potterverse are wizards who forgot how to do magic?
That story from her finally made the whole "the basilisk moves through the walls by using the plumbing" thing make sense. Because the plumbing they put in isn't actually used to transport piss and shit, that just get vanished once it passes the U-Bend. But in typical wizard fashion they didn't understand the real workings of a toilet and so thought all the other pipes were still necessary.
uh ackhyally the plumbing works because someone flushed the girl ghost down the toilet and she ended up in the lake in book 4
Because the wizards thought that's where you had to make pipes go for the toilet to work, copying muggle designs verbatim. They're obviously not flushing all their shit and piss directly into the lake because if they did then Harry would have been swimming through forests made out of toilet paper in Goblet of Fire.
What makes you think they use toilet paper at Hogwarts?
How do you flush a ghost anyway?
Ghosts are immaterial, right? So how come water doesn't flush right through hem? Here on their bodies can it apply its force?
how does Filch shit then?
He can still use the magical toilets. None of the children know how to cast the vanishing spell and so they made toilets that do it automagically, like a vanishing cabinet that anyone can use without casting any spells.
>yfw Hogwarts was an early adopter of toilets precisely because it was a boarding school where a bunch of kids would live away from their parents for the first time, those parents having been the ones who vanished their shit and piss every day before then and so the kids could not be trusted to vanish their shit themselves without making it appear in the great hall or explode
>yfw before then they'd use chamberpots and then have to call out for a teacher or prefect to vanish it for them, which is why prefects got the privilege of their own bathroom with better bathtubs
There was this vertical that got posted in the old Sherlock threads after the season where he faked his death. It was explaining how he faked it in a logical step by step way, like using the ball to remove his pulse etc, and then in the last panel it went "and then Falcor The Luck Dragon swooped in to catch him mid-fall" or something and Sherlock was shopped into riding on Falcor. I saved it but lost it at some point and now I've been looking for that fricking thing for YEARS at this point. Like tears in rain...
Frick that sounds funny. Some of the best OC in this website is flash in the pan and gets saved to a few hard drives never to be seen again. I have a habit of preserving almost anything an anon puts effort into.
I feel your pain bro. I have every file I've ever saved on a computer stretching back to 1995..... except a period between 2007 and 2010 due to a crash. The things that are missing in that gap are priceless...
me too man. I have a micro SD that I (for moronic as frick reasons) had encrypted on an old phone and I can't de-encrypt it because the phone had been formatted, on 2022 I tried to fix it because it didn't turn on.and they couldn't find any spare parts of my cellphone so I sold my phone to the store so they could use some of their spare parts. i got like 8 dollars for it. and now I still have the micro sd and I can't find a place to de-encrypt it. and all my 2016 to 2018 pictures are missing on it. and what pisses me off is that I had a lot of pictures of my favourite kitty that is now dead so its fricking sad man.
Anyone have the one where Dumbledore is mind wiping the children after he rapes them?
>“Harry, did I ever tell you about my secret nephew Aurelius? He was an illegitimate half-muggle love child whom his family was ashamed of, so his mother’s sister sailed to the United States with him as a baby, instead of his father or mother. When the ship started to sink (because it was the Titanic), the unrelated half-black daughter of a rapist mind control wizard switched him out with her half-brother (whose mother was consensual, and also white). The rapist wizard didn't care about the daughter, but he did love his son, and he was afraid that his daughter’s mother's son would be angry that his mother was mind control raped and kill the baby instead of the rapist, so he sent the son he loved across the sea (on the Titanic) to be raised in an orphanage by a muggle who hated magic instead of protecting him himself. Anyway, both babies just happened to be magic, so the daughter switched them so she could have a less annoying brother. His aunt thought that her nephew was still on the Titanic, and felt so strongly about this secret shame child that she’d tried to abandon in America that she tried to swim down and rescue him and drowned instead of just using magic while the rape daughter watched and did nothing to inform her that her real son was already safe. She then gave my nephew to a French half-elf servant who served the mother, and after the mother was raped and died in childbirth, that meant she had to continue serving the rapist, who thought he was the real son, and delivered him to the orphanage. My nephew was then raised as a muggle who didn't know how to control his magic, destroyed half of New York, had sex with Voldemort's pet snake, pioneered goth fashion, killed Bambi, and joined the alt-right led by a gay, sodomizable wizard Nazi who wanted to stop WWII. By the way, don’t ask why they used a muggle boat instead of apparating or flying across the ocean. They were all good friends, except the rapist mind control wizard” he said calmly.
I saw that movie
>literally call people mudbloods
wtF was the THINKING
yeah it was too on the nose
what a moronic take
Cinemaphile = the Order
reddit = Fudge's post-revival government
jews = Death Eaters
All I have to say about the Harry Potter books that hasnt been said 10000 times is that Rowling uses tag questions SO MANY FRICKING TIMES.
People meme about "Stretch his legs" but Im pretty sure that over 7 books, she has characters say shit like "THATS BLOODY CRAZY, ISNT IT?" around 500 times.
Funny thing is the review that meme came from was for the first book, and the first book never, EVER uses the phrase 'stretch his legs.'
What's a tag question and what's wrong with them?
Bros I've matched with an italian cutie on Bumble that looks like Hermione, same haircut and everything, she even have the "it's leviosaaa" meme in her bio.
Give me ideas for when she comes chatting with me.
Say you know how to swish and flick.
>he caterwauled timidly
>sex with your werewolf husband
>watch About A Boy as a boy
>already have an /ss/ fetish and so get a major crush on the older punk girl
>then she reappears as the spunky HP girl with punk hair who can also shape-change
She was so cute (for a hobo) in Game of Thrones too
Too bad they killed her off instead of showing her adventures on unicorn-island.
I NEED COOMER VOCAROOS
yeah weren't there Emma Watson AI audios?
harry potter sex roleplays are a big thing among women
tell us more
Since I was about 13, I've roleplayed, both online and offline (more offline than online after I became an adult obviously), sexual fantasies based within the Harry Potter world. From the mundane "shagging the professor" types, to "milf Ginny being railed by her son's friend(s)", to werewolf fricking, to pureblood incest. The whole gamut. What I've learned is that the ultimate turn on for women is degenerate sex with plausible deniability as to the bawdtery of it.
ie. fricking 20 different men while married (degenerate) BUT it's because that's how wizards do sperm donation (no guilt or responsibility) or fricking your son's friends (degenerate) BUT it's because you got enchanted by some lust magic (no guilt or responsibility).
I'd say that was the framework for over 90% of the roleplaying.
>among women
So they're an exclusively lesbian thing then?
You realize women have sex with men, right? Just not with you.
>You realize women have sex with men, right?
You realize that if a woman has sex with a man, that also means that said man has the same exact sexual act with a woman, right? The only way something can be "big AMONG women" is when they do it without any men participating.
This is why you're still a virgin.
Nice projection there.
>The only way something can be "big AMONG women"
Not necessarily. It could be an unfulfilled fetish, for example or one that the women enjoys but the man only does because she enjoys it.
That said, women absolutely are roleplaying straight sex with each other online, in these fantasy worlds. And gay (male) sex too. Very, very rarely lesbian sex unless you trick them into it.
>And gay (male) sex too.
You mean anal with a strap-on? That sounds like a terrible idea.
No I mean they're writing erotic roleplays with each other wherein they play two male characters that have lots of gay sex. In the HP fandom, the main two couplings are Sirius/Remus and then Draco/Harry.
are girls into sneed/chuck RP?
im more of a remus/hermione kind of guy
I never enjoyed when they played Hermione because she has no degenerate angles to play with, the way the Weasleys have.
You should try having sex.
>MAAAALE!!! BIOLOGICAL MALE IN THE WOMEN'S BATHROOM!!!
>final day of the term
>everyone in the Great Hall
>Gryffindor and Troonerin are tied for the lead in points
>Dumbledore begins his speech
>"It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends"
>"Ms. Rowling, for your courage in telling off the trannies I award 5 points to Gryffindor"
>"Troonerin, I have not forgotten your contributions this year, I award you a point for every gender"
>Troonerin table erupts in celebration, thinking they have won the House Cup
>"2 points to Troonerin!" Dumbledore calmly shouts "Congratulations on your House Cup victory, Gryffindor!"
>"Now for the decorations!"
>Dumbledore gently flicks his wrist as all Troonerins start swinging around with red and gold rope tied around their neck
>"Minerva, pass the treacle" Dumbledore says with a grin
>tfw you realize that the version of events depicted in the story is just a tall tale Harry made up
>Harry actually killed Squirrel and incinerated his body, then claimed he did it because the victim had been possessed by Voldemort
>Harry unleashes a Basilisk on the school, abducts Ginny Weasely and rapes her, then makes up some story about a possessed diary
>Harry helps a dangerous animal and a convicted murderer escape, excuses it by shifting the blame on his best friend's rat
>Harry kills his rival Cedric who is about to beat him in some shitty tournament, then blames it all on Voldemort
>Harry tries to kill his cousin, blames dementors
>Harry kills Dumbledore, blames it on Snape
>Harry kills Snape and burns down his school, says that Voldemort came back from the dead and did it
>... and "All was well."
typical cop behaviour
Well, they DID make him an auror.
when are we going to get the wizard-noir Harry Potter/The Shield crossover prequel we deserve?
>previously, on The Ministry
>That little shitsquib who's been commuting sentences for prisoners in Azkaban needs to have an accident
>shill tries to promote new show by encouraging memes
>gets Hermione scat erotica
No refunds
That show is so fricking dead on arrival. I can't believe they guys running HBO now are so moronic that they're betting on a show remake of a book and film franchise instead of making a Hogwarts show with a completely new storyline to at least grab some people who want new stories set in a magical castle.
Its incredibly stupid that they're just remaking the books when the movies were so well recieved but I really doubt its going to flop. Remember how well Hogwarts Legacy did?
Remember how well the last Harry Potter universe movie did? And that was a new story meant to make the old fans continue watching to find out the secrets of Dumbledore.
>the secrets of Dumbledore.
No one ever really cared about Bumblebee, anon. He's just the Obi-Wan figure. And gay, apparently.
>>Oh! You're doing Harry Potter memes. Let's see then
cheers
Best Pansy!
Bestgirl!
>literally got fired for being too pretty
She doesn't even have any lines in any of the films though
can someone give me a qrd for the Weinstein thing? how could he frick so many actresses and why especially him? why did he inparticular have so much power that after he was gone, most of his actresses' carreer died?
Because producers and the money they move controls everything. Vast majority of cinema artistry is a smokescreen marketing trick or coincidental, movies are made by businessmen to make more money. All the celebrity status these women enjoy is artificial, it exists solely because the media machine insists it exists. When the curtains part and you realize it's all a lie, you can either suck a mangled israeli wiener for a few more years of the illusion or get kicked out and replaced by another fresh faced piece of ass.
so harvey was a producer? judging by how many famous actress' carreers died, was he especially important among producers?
and is what hervey did a common occurance in hollywood among producers? will there eventually be another scandal like Weinstein?
He was a huge producer. Owned Miramax at one point and then the Weinstein Company, you can look up all the movies they made. Those careers died because it's the fate of nearly every hot young actress, very rarely do women transition gracefully into old lady actors. The scandal happened because the media wanted to fire people up with the #MeToo shit, it was always there from the goldem age of cinema, sleazy fricking businessmen having full control over beautiful young woman in a closed off secretive environment. It happens everywhere, the scandal didn't fix anything, everything is evil, don't trust the israelites.
okay thanks for the answer Anon
He produced like a hundred kinos during the 90s, 00s, and 10s. All the films around the turn of the century that this board remembers fondly had Harvey's name plastered at the end credits.
>"YES YES WELL DONE SYLTHERIN, HOWEVER" Dumbledore roared calmly
>The hall was dead silent. Slytherin House waited anxiously
>"However nothing, haha!" Dumbledore ejaculated jovially onto the crowd. "Slytherin has won! You are the rightful winners of this year's House Cup. Well done."
>"Draco Malfoy, come forward to accept your house's most deserved reward!" the old man said in his dignified, Liberace high voice.
>Slytherin House cheered as their champion
>Draco stretched his legs to claim their prize, his face beaming, his chiseled chin held high and haughty.
>The hall filled with green and silver banners cascading from the bannisters over the Cisgendered children below
>Nearly-Circumcised Nick cheered with the other ghosts, standing in the corner
>It was the proudest moment of Draco's young life, he, heir of his house, Head Boy, Prefect of Slytherin.
>The product of generations of immaculate Natzee breeding, which is a bad thing, ya'know
>Now his father, hot-headed, solid, yet steely cold, would expel pride upon him as he returned to his stately manner at Wizard Christmas.
>He took haughty strides up to the podium, until at least he came right in front of the old, venerable headmaster, who unexpectedly stood up.
>Why would he be so generous? Malfoy thought, as he knew Dumbledore hated his kind.
>Perhaps age had mellowed the old bumfellow, made his throbbing, biased hart more flaccid in its perfectly legal discrimination....
Respect for using some proper verbs anon
>"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS" he cried, his hard, elderly wand erect in his hands, pointed at Malfoy
>The boy fell in front of the podium, rigid as a board, his eyes glaring with complete and utter shock at the headmaster's actions.
>"COLLOPORTUS!" Dumbledore shot into the air with a roaring boom. locking all the doors in the hall.
>With Malfoy's stiffened body propped up against the podium, Dumbledore turned around, dropped his trousers, and revealed the most very forbidden forest, white, grey, and speckled with brown.
>A magnificent groan echoed throughout the hall, as the headmaster squatted down above the boy's face.
>BRAAAP
>BRAAAAAAPPPPP
>The entire hall gasped in horror as Dumbledore's steaming greenish stink splattered across Malfoy's face. All the poor boy could do was take it.
>A wretched smell filled the air, something worse than a Troll after sweet copulation
>BRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPP
>"AHAHAHAHAHA! WELL DONE SLYTHERIN, OH YES SYLTHERIN EXCELLENT INDEED! HEHEHEHE!" Gandolf bellowed insanely as his brown bowel brew blasted forth from his prolapsed butthole, gushing hot torrent after gushing hot torrent
>"BRRRAAAAPPPP
>The Professors threw their heads back in hysterical laughter. There was no question that they were having the time of their lives, watching as Dumbledore's putrid poop potion plastered Malfoy's prissy pretty boy face.
>BRRAAPP
>The students were in chaos. Slytherin House was absolutely humiliated as their Headmaster's cankerous colon concoction encrusted Malfoy's face, his clothes, and the floor, spreading through the entire hall.
>Eventually Dumbledore's fecal fountain floundered. He pulled up his trousers, angrily screaming calmly "DID YOU SLYTHERIN SCUM SINCERELY SURMISE THAT I WOULD LET YOU WIN ANYTHING?! YOU ARE SATAN'S CHILDREN! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE WARS IN HISTORY! YOUR CRUCIFIED OUR LORD AND SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST!"
>The entire hall erupted into applause at Dumbledore's righteous rebuke of the demonic Slytherin israelites. The end.
>WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE
You're too late, the train already left hours ago:
Why isn't Cinemaphile taking advantage of this for meme potential?
He's probably a nice fella
>Ekow Quartey
That's some serious racist naming right there. Worse than "Ching Chong" and "Kingsley Shacklebolt". What was Rowling thinking?
In one of the first jobs I had to process paperwork for a guy named Chim Chalalabad and I remember thinking that I couldn't come up with a more racist name if I tried.
>Chim Chalala, Chim Chalala, Chim Chalabad!
he seems nice
>111 reviews
assuming most people don't leave reviews, why the frick does this guy get so many videos
>$200
Do people really?
>Rohan go to bed
>absolute nobodies think they're worth more than Warwick
if you notice he only has 10 reviews, the lowest of any person in that picture(despite his price being fairly accessible in comparison to others)
so yes, he is worth much less than the people you call nobodies
>the lowest of any person in that picture
he sure is
Smaller price for smaller actor
Roger Clark (Arthur) from Red Dead Redemption 2 does these as well. First thought it was cool but then saw the prices and the results and realized it's all literally "You may remember me from..."
Who the frick are Jon Campling and this Gotobed guy supposed to be?
campling is a nameless death eater in a train scene scene, gotobed is sirius in a flashback
lmao
That Lily actress looks pretty good nowadays.
They should hire her as adult Lily for that new series they're making.
>beetle-black eyes
it's like they're not even trying
They stopped trying the moment Daniel Radcliffe got an allergic reaction to half of his costume, including the contacts.
none are as hot as hermione
very sad to see Warwick selling himself short
>go to bed
>rad cliff
>what's on
>heard man
>felt on
What the frick is wrong with bri'ish surnames?
Warwick's such a God damn giant of a man.
My respect for him is immeasurable.
>Warwick's such a God damn giant of a man
for you
WTF is a war wick anyway, and how does it differ from normal wicks?
you never tell him to apologize for his cars. this is why we need feminism
https://voca.ro/16lqaDXSNdcB
"MUDBLOODS could be here" he thought, "I've never been in this neighborhood before. There could be MUDBLOODS anywhere." The cool wind felt good against his bare chest. "I HATE MUDBLOODS" he thought. Unforgivable curses reverberated his entire wand, making it pulsate even as the 2 sickle butterbeer circulated through his powerful thick veins and washed away his (merited) disgust of impure bloodlines after dark. "With a horcrux, you can live forever" he said to himself, out loud.
> "Nothing like a hot butterbeer on a cold morning, eh?" said Dumbledore cheerfully. He took a sip. The prisoner squirmed against the ropes binding him to the chair. "When I was a kid, I never ate breakfast- we barely had any food- but now it's my favorite meal of the day. My students? I make sure they always start the day with a hot meal."
> Dumbledore sat before the man. "It's funny, some people, they say they'd never steal? But then you've got a face on the back of your head, Dark Lord to take care of... you'll do anything. Which is why I'm not angry. What's your name again?"
> "Q...Quirinus Q-Quirrell..."
> "Really, I'm not. You're a thief, right? You steal things for a living. Correct?"
> Snape slapped Quirrell hard. "Answer the man when he speaks."
> "Y-yes..."
> "Ok. So on the one hand we have you, Quirrell- a thief- and on the other hand, we have Mr. Hagrid here, who protects the chamber where I store the Sorcerer's Stone. One night Mr. Hagrid accidentally tells Harry Potter about the chamber. The thief, spotting an opportunity to serve his master, comes in and robs the chamber with an unknown accomplice. Now I ask you Mr. Hagrid, what do thieves do?"
> "Beg your pardon?"
> "It's a simple question, what do thieves do?"
> "They... steal things?"
> "Correct! And groundskeepers?"
> "...keep things?"
> "Right again. So who, in this scenario, wasn't doing their job?" The thief - who's job is to steal things, or..." he turned to Hagrid, "the fricking imbecile who left a chamber with the Sorcerer's Stone unlocked while taking a goddamn dump?"
> "The imbecile?" said Hagrid.
> "The imbecile!" said Dumbledore. He stood. "I'm not angry Quirrell. You were only doing your job."
> "Thank you, Headmaster"
> "Who was your partner?"
> "Lucius Malfoy."
>"Malfoy... untie him," Dumbledore said to Snape. He turned to leave.
> "...Oh but before you do, cast a killing curse on this mother fricker."
> "No! Please!"
> "Some people you do not steal from," said Snape, drawing his wand.