oh man this movie really was

oh man this movie really was

Mike Stoklasa's Worst Fan Shirt $21.68

Homeless People Are Sexy Shirt $21.68

Mike Stoklasa's Worst Fan Shirt $21.68

  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Great movie but a greater soundtrack.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      the studio originally wanted ennio morricone to do the score but milius insisted on letting poledouris do it. i cant believe how that worked out.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        To be fair, Morricone could have absolutely fricking killed it, but somehow we still got one of the best film scores ever.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          nobody is a bigger morricone fan than me, but the game has scored so many movies that nobody really knows how many he's done. conan very likely could have been one of the hundreds of forgattable ones

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Why does this soundtrack make me want to lift?

      ?si=qVOR9sE65yuur3-4

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      It certainly was, now was it good? I can't tell

      Soundtrack is the only great part about the movie

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    nothing happened in it he just walked around places got a sword beat some guys and nothing of it had any correlation what so ever
    my dad likes it though so 8/10

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >he just walked
      no, they ran

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        nothing happened in it he just walked around places got a sword beat some guys and nothing of it had any correlation what so ever
        my dad likes it though so 8/10

        And sometimes…
        Drove

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          my gf hated this movie

          she hated this movie so bad she cried

          what the hell is her problem

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          And occasionally, partied with the snake cult

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      lolwut. at the end personal revenge has been taken AND a king's quest has been fulfilled
      is a revenge plot with underlying philosophical tones too complicated for u zoomzoom

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        apparently yeah, id rewatch it but it was so fricking boring the first time around that i have 0 interest
        although that was a few years ago

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Not enough quips and explosions huh? Why don't you try Fat Burger from now on? You can get yourself a cheese and fries for 2.95, homosexual

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          if you were too young, low iq or low test - seriously, then you wont get it.
          have your testosterone levels checked, and if they are at all low then start doing things to raise it. the right foods, strength exercises, daylight, avoiding things that lower it, quality sleep.
          also try doing something besides sitting indoors with a blanket wrapped round you like an infant.
          go on a hike, spend some time in the forest, chop up some wood.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            You sound gay

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          All these ppl shitting on u over a movie are gay. I didn't like fighting when I was younger because it wasn't like the movies: now I'm an amateur fighter looking to make a living off it in a year.

          I never beat zelda when I was a kid n didn't get it; beat ocarina of time like 8years later... my point is: Conan is frickn lit; u just haven't hit the wave yet, or maybe it's just not for you.

          As someone who wants to be the strongest man in the room, loves comics, vidya (classes format, etc), fantasy, Bmovies(i know its not supposed to be B, but it checks a lot of boxes for the era), and the Neggar: these movie will always be in the vault...

          The new one kinda sucked ass, but maybe I'll go back n give it another try... I suggest u do the same w/ the originals, but only when u feel like it. For me I watched them at like peak of my fantasy delve, and i was itching for something to go w/ the theme while i played everquest project 1999... glorious

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Just start w/ the original... the new ones with that momoa guy sucked when I saw them, but maybe I was just comparing the whole time... gonna go back n watch today

            learn how to fricking type you god damn moron

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              he's got brain damage from all the amateur fights
              go easy on him anon

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Just start w/ the original... the new ones with that momoa guy sucked when I saw them, but maybe I was just comparing the whole time... gonna go back n watch today

            I see that CTE is settling in nicely

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        not him but he's half right. It was just a collection of unconnected stories coincidentally bringing Conan to James Earl Jones at the end. It wasn't boring but I did find myself asking why the film chose to focus on those events rather than the established plot more specifically.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Anon, what is the riddle of steel?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        nothing happened in it he just walked around places got a sword beat some guys and nothing of it had any correlation what so ever
        my dad likes it though so 8/10

        Like "what if you didn't eat breakfast this morning" but for movie literacy.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        There is no riddle of Steel, Conans village uses Iron.
        Iron, in its raw form, symbolizes the primal essence of strength and resilience. It is the foundation upon which civilizations rise and fall, the elemental core of mankind's triumphs and tribulations. While steel may boast refinement and versatility, iron embodies the unyielding spirit of the forge, tempered by the fires of adversity. In the crucible of combat, iron endures, unrelenting in its steadfastness, a testament to the indomitable will of those who wield it.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >There is no riddle of Steel
          stopped reading there

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        i dont remember

        if you were too young, low iq or low test - seriously, then you wont get it.
        have your testosterone levels checked, and if they are at all low then start doing things to raise it. the right foods, strength exercises, daylight, avoiding things that lower it, quality sleep.
        also try doing something besides sitting indoors with a blanket wrapped round you like an infant.
        go on a hike, spend some time in the forest, chop up some wood.

        my test levels are fine

        now describe the plot of titanic

        i havent seen it

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          i'm not a doctor but this looks extremely gay

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >testosterone
          >reference range 8.6 - 29
          >result 1.0
          >my test levels are fine
          Uh, are you a eunuch by any chance?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            don't forget 4.5 times the reference amount of estradiol
            >estradiol is an estrogen steroid hormone and the major female sex hormone
            i'm guess it's just bait

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          spironolactone?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Jesus Christ, not only is he a moronic plotgay he can't even pick up the frickign plot right in front of him.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I feel sorry for your dad. A son who will never know the riddle of steel.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      now describe the plot of titanic

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It's a good movie but a bad Conan adaptation.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I don’t believe it was unfaithful
      I think it captures a good portion of the philosophy of Robert E Howard’s works, more so than many post Howard “official” novels.

      That said, one element I think they missed was the savagery and strangers which is potent in this world. Magic isn’t just parlor tricks but truly otherworldly, eldritch influence with implications pointing to a dark vastness beyond the dominion of man. Ultimately Conan’s struggle is against that Void, a Bronze Age Ubermensch against primordial cosmic horror

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Magic isn’t just parlor tricks
        With Thulsa Doom shape shifting into snake I wouldn't say it was it tricks only there either.
        > truly otherworldly, eldritch influence
        His voice might be magical too but that was unclear.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Thulsa turning into a snake that can’t really do anything as the extent of his power is underwhelming. Minor transformation/illusion with no real otherworldly implication. I take him for a conjurer of cheap tricks

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >Thulsa turning into a snake that can’t really do anything as the extent of his power is underwhelming. Minor transformation/illusion with no real otherworldly implication. I take him for a conjurer of cheap tricks

            He had a cannable cult where ritual sacrifice enabled him to become a snake. But his philosophy was power over others is stronger than personal strength

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            he turned a snake into an arrow.
            him going into snake form is supposed to be more his original form, not a trick. there's even a hole cut in the wall of the throne room for him to slide through. it's the whole reason for being a snake cult.
            conan being ressed was magic though, did you miss that

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >I don’t believe it was unfaithful
        >I think it captures a good portion of the philosophy of Robert E Howard’s works, more so than many post Howard “official” novels.
        It literally portrays Conan as a slave when conan would literally die than become a slave
        Conan went out as an adventurer because he got bored of cimmeria not because he was captured
        Conan's entire ethos and the entire point of the stories is about unfettered freedom not revenge
        >a Bronze Age Ubermensch
        The Hyborian age is not bronze age in any way, Conan wears full knightly armor and commands a nation that's literally based off medieval france, frick off secondary

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >when conan would literally die than become a slave
          Even as a child?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Technically destroyer is a good adaptation so frick you buddy

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      It's a bad adaptation of a one off adventure which Howard's stories were.

      That said it does a good job incorporating pieces from different stories to make a single film. I like Barbarian but I like Destroyer too. Both succeeded taking different approaches

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I like destroyer more as I’ve gotten older, could do without grace jones but I love that lil thief homie. Destroyer is a good DnD movie.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          sounds like you caught aids and are senile.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah Destroyer is just a good time. It's mostly well made and the writing is fine. It's 80s slop, but 80s slop is leagues ahead of current day slop.
          Only thing I really don't like about Destroyer is the ending. Conan should've stayed in that kingdom and plough that princess day and night until it's time for the next adventure.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It's a masterpiece.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Perhaps what makes the film so enduring is that it doesn’t preach it’s values but presents ideas and let’s the audience decide for themselves

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    What is best in life?

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    should I watch conan? which movie is the best?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Just start w/ the original... the new ones with that momoa guy sucked when I saw them, but maybe I was just comparing the whole time... gonna go back n watch today

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The ultimate nietzschean tale.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Arnie's best performance

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    the kinoest of kinos

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Where can I find an Atlantean sword in order to become an Aryan Chad?

      ?si=s30HhvJRDEXXhIIs

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It truly is one of the movies of all time.

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Any other kinos that have this feel?
    Pic related

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      *tips fedora*

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      There are plenty of moronic quotes like this on reddit, you should go there

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      he is right, but it doesn't mean barbarism is better or stronger, it just destroys social order, and on a new soil new civilization can grow up
      wheel of life

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Physiologically modern humans existed for tens of thousands of years without civilisation just fine. By that time scale civilisation is far from the norms for humans and is not guaranteed to persist especially since it provide the conditions for its own destruction once it reaches a level of complexity. This is also the answer to the Fermi paradox in my opinion.

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    How doesCinemaphile feel about Kull the conqueror. Not as good as the Conan movies, but I'd say it's still fun if you don't expect anything too serious.

    Not as good as the stories but then the movie was supposed to be a 3rd Conan movie anyway

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >My child, you have come to me my son. For who now is your father if it is not me? I am the well spring, from which you flow. When I am gone, you will have never been. What would your world be, without me? My son.

    It loops back to the snake eating itself; Thulsa created Conan on the path that would lead to his own destruction.

    And this scene is way better than Jones voicing Darth Vader. He technically has a point; all that Conan became was partly because of Thulsa. Conan made himself survive slavery and the gladiator pits, but the hatred of Thulsa and thirst for revenge is what motivated him.

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    ?t=337
    for me its Evan Stone version

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Frick your freedom

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

Leave a Reply to Anonymous Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *