>oh man us filmmakers have it hard
>I understand how hard it is to make a movie
>trust me, I know what I'm talking about
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>oh man us filmmakers have it hard. >I understand how hard it is to make a movie
Is he the guy that cried when RLM made fun of him?
Funny thing is that ever since then, Stuckmann has elevated his career while RLM continue to spiral downward.
If Shelby Oaks fails that will come crashing down. He has seriously damaged his numbers by not reviewing films. RLM is doing the same thing but their numbers are holding up due to non-review content doing ok.
>RLM is doing the same thing but their numbers are holding up
Have you not seen their patreon exodus? People are unsubscribing in droves due to lack of content. Jay even had to address it in a recent member's block video, promising that more reviews would come soon. Could tell he was super panicked too and probably lying.
It's not a good idea showing all the props they've bought with the Patreonbuxx. Also, they are destroying thoughtful gifts from viewers for silly gags. It's obvious they've become jaded and on auto-pilot.
No, I was only looking at viewers. That's interesting.
This didn’t happen
Okay Stuckmann
>Cuckmann fan
Opinion discarded.
Stuckman is the ultimate normie for tv. Not as funny as Jeremy Jahns. Doesn't do anything special like RLM. And is equally not as politically savvy as Critical Drinker (regardless of where you stand on his views. You gotta agree that he milks very well).
I guess that is Stickman's niche then. The super mid void right in the middle. Not having a hook IS his hook, I guess
Hi Chris
yes, I can't believe he thought it was a good idea to put this out
Kwab. They obviously never even watched his content. It was just a joke about how everyone youtube reviewer having the same 'red curtain' set.
QRD?
He used to idolize them. They made fun of his attempts to reach out to them and collaborate together.
see
Why would people who like Kenobi make fun of anyone?
Pretty hypocritical of RLM.
Without Mike's dishonest film criticism, Stuckmann would have never existed in the first place.
best post itt
His movie is going to come out, be mediocre, and he will continue making shitty youtube reviews until he dies. The worst part about him is that his reviews aren't even interesting. RLM, despite being idiots with shit taste, were kind of funny sometimes, they had personality. This guy doesn't even do jokes.
I am convinced he got swindled by his producers. The indie budget filmmaking field is as sketchy as Hollywood is, often sketchier. I work in the industry and there is so much backstabbing, scheming and manipulation at the low levels also. Stuckmann has basically no experience actually working on films, so it's really easy to con a guy like him.
>making films is actually really hard
Cope. Godard made a masterpiece on his first try. So did Sion Sono and many others, y’all just talentless normies.
More films are still shit than not shit. Virtually every film is a labor intensive project and the majority are beyond awful
>be mediocre
TELL THAT TO STUCKMANN'S BROKEN SCRIPT
Critics making movies never works. It's not about being passionate about movies. It's about being passionate about the PROCESS of making movies. Those are two totally different things.
They simply want to re-create all if the things they love about movies without knowing it caring about all of the extremely technical and boring stuff that goes in-between all of the wiz bang cool stuff. ...Things like proper lighting, depth of field and blocking (where the actors move to and stand). Ruthlessly editing the things that don't work even though you went through all of the trouble to film them.
Script writing is also way harder than it looks on the surface. Great scripts look natural and easy when they actually take a ton of skill to make them seem that way. With things like multi-layered characterization and dialogue that users proper subtext in the voice of the character and isn't super on the nose.
There are a million micro-decisions that need to be made when making a movie and can only be learned by being part of an movie's production cycle. It's why actors can make the jump but critics can't.
This is why a movie made by a critic will always be super turbo cringe.
This was always a good example for me, since it's just a simple shot on a bench in broad daylight, and yet
yet the setup remains complex*
that's a pretty simple setup actually, they are mostly manipulating available light with scrims, flags, negative fill and bounces. I don't think there is even a light source outside of the frame. As far as lighting goes this is pretty simple and straightforward.
True in that it's not doing anything complex in the world of film lighting, but consider it from a non-lighting expert's perspective, that's about the basic minimum for a simple shot. Somehow I doubt
is doing much besides "get a camera and point it".
I think that's the point being made. That that one there is a basic setup. That's not even a complicated lighting situation. The same should be considered for camera movement, or blocking, or editing. If you review films on youtube for a living and decide you want to be a filmmaker yourself, do you actually know all these basics you'll need on your crew?
There's actually a saying in the industry that quite often the most inexperienced people on the crew are the PA and the director. You don't necessarily need to know how things are done if you just know how to communicate things to the crew and especially the key department heads (DP, 1st AD, set designer, costume designer, editor etc.). Of course experience almost always helps, but there are historically some directors like Tarantino who didn't have lots of practical and technical set experience and yet their first feature film was a critical and commercial success. Stuckmann isn't Tarantino though.
yep directors are leaders, like conductors in an orchestra. They need to be confident and know how to work with a team. Tarantino might not know anything technical but he knew exactly what he wanted and was extremely driven and charismatic.
Nailed it
>and yet
....it's a very basic setup for film
and yet none of that effort was really needed. you could just go to a random bench in NYC and film that with one guy in 30 seconds.
guerilla filmmaking, neorealism and metarealism > hwood
sam hyde is a more important filmmaker than ari aster, robert eggers and all the other zoomers
trying too hard
But you would agree Ubermensch Eggers is a much better filmmaker than ~~*Aster?*~~
Looks like he's got a budget of ~$1million for his feature, thats a shoot ratio of 1.05:1 so i'm sure it will be excellent. Worked for Hitchwiener afterall.
>It's about being passionate about the PROCESS of making movies. Those are two totally different things.
So fricking true. i remember thinking i wanted to make movies, but actually filming, begging friends to be in it, writing, lighting, editing and all that shit made me fricking exhausted, wasn't fun for me. I still love watching movies though.
>i remember thinking i wanted to make movies, but actually filming, begging friends to be in it, writing, lighting, editing and all that shit made me fricking exhausted, wasn't fun for me.
Most likely the problem was that you tried doing everything by yourself. It's the constant pitfall these Youtuber critics also fall into.
>Lighting guy? I can do that. Sound? Just put a mic there, that's not complicated. I'll edit myself later, I don't need an editor. I've done reviews for years, it's the same thing.
>extent of his lighting is "flip the lightswitch in the room on"
>Pugh looks fricking miserable
>Zendaya looks anorexic
Why do zoomers find them """hot"""?
you are right in some way but what you are missing is all that bullshit is incredibly easy to learn if you have a decent IQ
the dilemma is more for film geeks to be getting along with the kind of people who get into acting, the homosexual theater kid sorts, and the autistic geargays who get into cinematography
>all that bullshit is incredibly easy to learn if you have a decent IQ
This is what the worst filmmakers and hacks believe. Being good is not "easy" at all.
>muh 10,000 hours
then explain why 99 out of 100 things are trash, all the "experts" are making them.
Holy hell you just answered your own question. Like why isn't your favorite music artist releasing 100% bangers all the time? Because it's fricking hard that's why.
>then explain why 99 out of 100 things are trash, all the "experts" are making them.
because the 'great' films were made by a tiny number of people and you forgot all the absolute trash that was made in the past.
How about you explain why 99 out of 100 are trash, if it is "easy" to learn all these things?
It's up to that guy who says filmmaking is something only hollywood elitists are qualified to do because they're experts, then he bends into a pretzel that the experts are incapable of making good things.
>don't make a film, only WE can make it because we're experts
>what!? you're expecting it to be good!? even we the experts can't make good films, so stay out our business!
very typical industry elitism.
are you totally baffled about what a professional is and what an industry is?
Are you some sort of moron? Who is "we"?
Not sure if you are willfully missing the point or not.
It's not about being an Elite. It's about getting practical experience to the point you can actually make something good and not fanfic tier cringe.
So many times I have seen Anons link to some fanfic as an example of something better than the real thing. And 99 99999% of the time it's cringe. Or at the very best it's good...for a fan fic. But there is always that gap, like and uncanny valley. A valley of the slightest cringe, that separates even the best most high level fan fics, from the real thing.
Because actually making the real thing and making it good is FRICKING HARD. and the biggest way to out yourself as someone who doesn't no what they are talking about at worst or fan fic their taste and talent at best. Is to even suggest that making something good, that people would pay to watch, is easy.
Unless it's Harry Potter.
stuckman is a gay, but i highly doubt his film has any less artistic integrity than the goyim slop that gets green lit on the streaming services. nobody is held to any standards anymore, it's all data driven homosexualry
i just got Stuckmannized
>Keith David is in Hazbin Hotel and in Chris Stickman's feature debut
Wild career
And over 50% of the budget probably went to hire him for 1 day of shooting. That’s why he had to make another video begging for more handouts
Keith David charges nearly $50k just for speaking at a live events. That's like, maybe 2 hours of his day from the moment where he gets ready for work, drives, speaks, then drives home. And that's not how movie sets are, so I bet Cuckmann easily dished out $500k to hire him. It'll be literally the only thing in the movie that'll have some sort of positive quality to it.
He was also in that shitty Shane Dawson film, Smiley. Keith just seems like one of those actors who's talented but also perfectly willing to be in trash for a paycheck.
>Keith David dramatically saying "I did it for the lulz" in a theatrically released feature film
Over a decade ago and still definite proof we're all dead and this is clown world hell.
>I refuse to review Madame Web in my Madame Web review
What's the fricking point of having a film review channel?
adsense and algo money
He’s clearly desperate for funds at this point & knows a Madam Web review will do numbers because everyone’s trashing it atm, but he’s still too scared of pissing anyone off in the industry that he didn’t actually review it.
Can’t criticize Hollywood or he’ll get blacklisted.
Something really weird happened with this guy. It’s like he’s a husk of a person. Just seems really miserable ever since he told his childhood story of being a Jehovah’s Witness. If you watch his really old videos he’s noticeably happier to be talking about movies. The passion is gone.
Trying to break into the film industry has broken his spirit.
it happens to all YouTubers. most just straight up quit or risk turning into him
This. Just look at Ralphie, RLM guys and Cuckman lmao.
God I miss Ralph. He was the first YouTube reviewer I watched that actually made me think about watching shit critically instead of being spoon fed.
I’m surprised he didn’t get as big as a following considering how hilarious some of his earlier works were.
his early videos are now considered too problematic to be mainstream
Destiny streams 12h almost every day for more than 12 years and is doing fine, fame keeps increasing.
Destiny? More like cucktiny
You can call him a cuck all you want but its undeniable that he gets pussy easily, a cuck would be someone with no options. And he says all the time that open relationships are not for normal people, he doesn't shill it to his audience.
His wife left him for some twink.
He shat on the red pill any chance he got, right before his prostitute woman cheated on him.
Pottery.
>fame keeps increasing.
Upwards of 35 morons know who he is.
No, hes known on way younger audiences. He did shapiro, jordan Peterson, talked to a bunch of palestine shills, constantly interacts with hasans fanbase, gained a bunch of subs during the fresh n fit arc, and even does canvassing and talks with senators. I'd say hes doing pretty good.
so 38 people then
His streams on yt constantly have more than 10k people. Hes actually one of the biggest streamers in the world
>His streams on yt constantly have more than 10k people.
And how the frick does anyone consider that famous? You my friend are in a bubble of morons. 10k pfft
>doing fine
>streaming
that's a whole another can of homosexualry. simps are moronic beyond belief
Because he knows Shelby Oaks sucks and is dreading the release.
At the end of the day, it's his job. And everyone eventually loses passion for their work if it's the same shit each year.
It's the vaccine.
c**t wife
Men really grow into 100% entirely dependent on how women treat them as we age it seems. Fantano went insane because he got a divorce.
I feel so bad for this random dude I follow Aquaholic, he got a divorce and hes just this old good boy British chap got the humor the glass half full optimism British men have, you can tell he completely had no idea she hated him and got comfortable with her, loved her maybe a few signs were there but he had romantic feelings to her until the end. She had that typical woman bullshit about needing space, finding some new dick before she dies etc. He barely could explain why she isn't in the videos anymore without breaking down and crying. Good on him for stiff upper lip. He spent the video driving his boat and looking deep in regret.
Women are like this gambling addiction the highs are so high then you make 100K then you keep gambling and eventually go broke.
Damn Zoomers have to be so b***hy about age, its called being old enough to have experienced basically every major age of media and allowing that to inform your takes.
Sean Chandler has some of that passion. I have no idea how he claims to watch backlogs of movies with 3 kids though, he seems a little fake to me.
Frick we really need to consider putting 7 figure deals to hot pornstars and give them acting lessons. There is zero reason why Nancy A or Haley Davies, Lana Rhodes couldn't be in an action movie.
youtube 10K is easily Twitch 30k
>Men really grow into 100% entirely dependent on how women treat them as we age it seems. Fantano went insane because he got a divorce.
I notice this too. Men are wrecked. This is because we actually love women, and we are traumatized when it's over. Women however are mere parasites. They move on quickly, frick new chads within days, get 6 figure HR jobs typing emails.
>This is because we actually love women, and we are traumatized when it's over
speak for yourself, simp
Men and women evolved alongside each other. You may think that you are immune but at some point some chick will be in your blind spot and frick your whole life up. You will never recover, no one is immune, not even bill gates, kanye west, elon musk, actual billionaire alpha predators.
I never call anyone loser but I'm inclined to call you one. Frick, you care about all the wrong things.
He tried to show the lefties that he’s one of them and now he’s beholden to them.
same is happening to Fantano
they both want 'in' on Hollywood
Imagine having a dream for your whole life, someone you were going to be, a thing you were going to do, knowing full well every waking second that you were destined for it, you had a natural gift for it, as soon as you got started on it it was all going to open up for you. And then finally getting the chance and fluffing it because it turns out you suck and you should have worked harder all those years you were dreaming about it. That's what makes you look like this, I know because I look like this.
>You should have worked harder all those years you were dreaming about it
Aaaaaaaaaaarghh
>Day-dreaming and conversation: "These harmless activities are more insidious [than drink and opium.].... Daydreaming bears a specious resemblance to the workings of the creative imagination. It is in fact a substitute for it
Day-Dreaming truly is the worst enemy of promise.
None of you even saw the movie yet and you are determining it's a flop because he looks tired in a still image. It is probably going to be great because he has the innate communication skills to reach millions of people, he is in the top 1 % which is all a director has to be.
You have a point Chris.
He built a career as a self descibed 'movie buff,' but some of his reviews and critiques contain some really cringe and ignorant remarks that expose him as being pretty clueless about basic movie making fundements, and he started to get called out on it, which must sting for someone as thin skinned as he clearly is. That's not to say he didn't have some personal stuff that fricked him up a bit, everyone has personal lives which brings heavy shit from time to time.
i think it's just cause he is busier outside of youtube now, he's trying to get his movie out and has infant twins, this might be the busiest he has ever been
>dead eyes
>pallid skin
>neckbeard
What went wrong
He went homo. Really.
>hey guys I drink cum now!
>btw everything is good now!
He got boring.
What will he do if Shelby Oaks debuts with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes?
I hope Shelby Oakes (with an e) gets a higher rating.
11?
>implying RT critics will bother
He's bracing for the legendary trolling he knows will inevitably plague his movie. So he's taking this odd stance where he's not going to criticize movies anymore, probably in the hopes that people will show him empathy when his own movie is a piece of shit. But the internet isn't that kind Chris. I'm a shitty cook, but I still cook for myself daily and I won't hesitate twice to criticize a professional chefs dish if it sucks.
He's not just not criticising movies. He's barely talking about them. I'd say he's reading from the wikipedia summary but even that would be more interesting
Something about the reality of making a film fricking broke this dude. I swear he's been looking progressively more miserable since he started on it. Not once has he ever sounded enthusiastic or excited about it
I'm guessing he was hoping for an A24 distribution, but they rejected him because Shelby Oaks sucks
something similar happened to Ralphthemoviemaker, tried making his own movies but they sucked and he's been visibly burntout ever since
>got booted from his own podcast
It's over.
>quality of podcast improved immensely
Its a lot better without him nervously laughing at everything that he says
I made a 10 minute long voice over narration video with images for my youtube channel, didn't really plan it out or anything, just went off the fly and made it as I went. The amount of effort I had to put just into editing to make it vaguely decent was insane. 10 minutes of content took me like 2 days to edit something together I was satisifi3d with, and that's just a shitty little amateur video. I couldn't imagine how overwhelming editing together a 90+ movie.
this is why movies have professional editors, and they take months to edit anyway
Just use AI, dickheads
all in good time anon
Then you're known as "that AI movie"
im a photographer and was asked to film a 30 sec. commercial for this venue, to get the staff to spit out a few lines like "welcome" etc. it took a fricking hour. never again
That's why real productions have lots of smaller roles to balance the workload and to work more effectively. Directors don't edit their own movies, they have an editor, who also has at least one assistant editor who helps with the grunt work of the editing etc.
Ralph btw is btw a prime example of an internet "critic" who got his shit pushed in when he realized how hard it is actually to make anything good. Didn't he shit on the (absolutely cringe and terrible) Channel Awesome films? Yet his own films were basically at the same level. There's also clearly dumb pride and fear there, he tried to do too much himself (direct, write, act, shoot etc.)
>he tried to do too much himself (direct, write, act, shoot etc.)
This would have worked if he had any actual talent.
See: Cooper Raiff, Steven Soderbergh, Sean Baker
>Makes one college artsy "film" in black and white
>TheMovieMaker
I miss him just shitting on bad reality shows
What are they?
Making the AVGN permanently destroyed James Rolfe too. Stuckmann will never recover from its failure
James recovered from it, although it took him 5 years. Stuckmann's pain has only just begun. Now he must watch it ripped to shreds by critics and audiences, his dreams stomped on, while pretending he doesn't care.
He's a bit too nice but I think he's an OK dude.
His reviews are pandering shit, however.
We need a fresh YouTube movie personality. All the old vanguard are aging and/or visibly burnt out. Jahns is the only one with a spark of life, but even he's getting up there in age
At least Jeremy "Gordon" Jahans still kinda sorta reviews films but flecks of grey are starting to appear in his beard.
You people act like once he’s got a walking cane he won’t be able speak how he feels about film.
Nobody likes to see people past their prime
Ask and ye shall receive
What in the everloving frick
Underrated
I like Jahns. He may not go in depth into movies like Stuckmann used to, but he seems like a bro.
After every big budget movie I watch, his is the first one I go to, to get his reaction. Jahns is extremely dialed in to the tastes of the middle of the road general public and he's funny. After I watch a movie I really like I will usually spend a good hour or so watching dozens of movie reviews on it for different takes. I did exactly that for Leave the World Behind.
This, he and Stuckmann were my two main ones I'd listen to in my car after getting out of the theater. I don't actually go to the theater all that much or care a lot about new movies but that was always a nice ride home.
Why do reviewers always go straight into directing their own film instead of doing more minor BTS work or just writing/producing? Directing even a mediocre movie takes a ton of skill
False sense of expertise
dunning kruger shit
overestimating their ability to make good movies because they can point out flaws in terrible ones
> Joe Bastianich
Just be happy critiquing. If I made bank watching one movie a week and posting a video about it I'd never do anything else. Thats the fricking life right there
I guess the worry is that the gravy train probably stops when you're a youtuber at any time. I understand wanting to go into something more stable. It's also probably a nice fantasy to imagine making your own indie movie and sticking it to the Hollywoodgays, but that's not stable.
I could do a good movie if i tried.
They don't want to be in a "side role"
Making a movie is as simple as going on set with a bunch of professionals who think your a c**t, and being creative. That's literally it
Going straight to directing a film is fine, but you need to start with short shorts.
Like everything, practice makes perfect. You need to have that drive to play around with a shitty dslr for 3 hours, or film your friends being idiots and see if you can edit it into a dumb music video.
If you're not prepared to spend literally years just learning by doing, then you have to go to film school to pay to do the same thing or get on sets where other people will fill in for all the shit you're too lazy learn.
>film school
An almost iron clad guarantee you won't be making films in the future.
Not true at all.
The mistake is thinking film school is going to open any doors for you. It won't. Film school is purely about learning the practical skills. Not about padding your resume for a job like an M.B.A.
Indeed, damn near every notable director past and present has began with short films.
Both Stuckmann and RLM don't review films out of fear and ideology. They are just as corrupt as the old media reviewers they replaced.
This is how an Average Christ Cluckman """"Review"""" goes
>Long intro to take up time
>"Hi everyone I'm Chirs and I just watched this movie"
>continues with 4 minutes of explaining who the actors directors producers etc are
>I kinda liked this movie, Thanks for watching
>Outro
You forgot
>We need to support movies like this. We need to show Hollywood they should make more of this. See it in theater and buy the Bluray!
He is such a sell out and he's creating a lot of bad will with the audience.
Stuckman is one of those guys the world would be better without. He’s not a terrorist or a psycho but everyone knows things would be better if he just died or disappear forever.
he’s an absolute frickhead
?feature=shared
?feature=shared
I only watch Stuckmann YTPs so you will have to tldw these.
the skits, insulting other games to prop his up, and the “tribute” at the end.
>tribute
Surprised he can do that without getting banned.
More like Chris Fatmann
he won
he still hasn't understood ncfom
Kinomaster Stuckman le Julia.
DAT homie JUST GOT STUCKMANNIZED
Sadly he isn't acting in Shelb O.
I can understand what he was going for here, and props for the cuts lining up with the jabs he’s throwing. However, it doesn’t look very good because the camera work and lighting is so flat and uneventful.
>I can understand what he was going for here
Yes, you because you saw Drive.
>record kickstarter campaign
>Keith David is cast
>Shelby Oaks becomes a horror hit
>Stuckmann gets more directing gigs in Hollywood
>wins Oscar for best director in 2029
>Mike and Jay kill themselves
STUCKMANNIZED
For me it's the lurch to the side at :03
Imagine actually shooting this, looking at the footage and going "yep, nailed it, ready for publishing"
>fails to successfully walk in a straight line for six seconds
The truth is that people have a problem with sefl-reflection. It's hard to criticize what you make. Even the worst film makers out there can reflect on their work better than these two youtubers.
It's easy for them to look at a movie and say that the camera movement is bad; but then when they make their own movie they're like
>dude so what, let's just use a Walmart camera
>dude no, I can act on my own, we don't need a physically fit actor, I can be a mean gangster
>film set? Mom's kitchen
>dude so what, I'm just a guy who dedicates his entire life to film and tv series, I'm not some serious film maker, I don't need to take it seriously
Stuckmann's movie isn't out yet. Also, he gets huge bonus points for casting Keith David. Mike and Jay only managed to hire Patton Oswalt for Space Cop.
One of the main reasons why skilled people are skilled is they constantly evaluate their own work and improve.
>watches Drive once
Same sort of moronation that would make one think they could build a car from scratch just because they can drive one.
MOVE OVER SCORSRESE
anyone who claims to have "religious trauma" is a homosexual and their opinions should be promptly ignored
Normally I'd agree with you but in the case of Scientology, Mormonism and Islam I genuinely think the kids aren't alright.
Nah. I am mulsim. Anyone who whines about religious trauma is a gay.
>OH NO MY PARENTS MADE ME DRESS MODEST!! And I HAD TO PRAY!! The HORROR!
Well you aren't Shia, I take it.
Judaism too. Happy, bro?
You really only know of 4 religions?
*tips fedora*
I’m genuinely asking. There’s thousands of religions in the world and it’s tough to believe you only have a problem with 4, and they also happen to be pretty major ones. 3 of which similar in origin.
Scientology and Mormonism aren't major ones. I bet you're a mudslime so this is why you're offended.
In the context of religion, Scientology and Mormonism are in fact major. When there’s thousands around the world that most people aren’t even aware of, they can safely be considered major, comparatively speaking. The fact you only know of 4 religions is pretty weird.
>The fact you only know of 4 religions is pretty weird.
The fact that you expect people to memorize every single random religious sect is what's weird, you autistic sperg
Why did you stop naming religions at just 3? Are those the only ones you know?
>in case of
can't you fricking read? he was talking about those 3 religions ONLY. you ESL moron.
Stuckmann kickstarter backers desparately trying to derail the thread.
Self reflection is the #1 skill that people will always lack.
Everyone can be a critic. Spotting things that are wrong in someone else is easy.
Looking at yourself in the mirror with the same foreign look is what's difficult.
I just hate him. He’s so bullyable. He’s such a wimp. So wet. He has no back bone, the kinda guy who isn’t straight up with you and just calls it as it is. I bet he’s a miserable person to be friends with, does he do anything besides consume media? He doesn’t do anything but sit on his ass and watch movies and play games and work on his channel, that’s his life, that’s his personality, there’s nothing there, there’s no character there, there’s no laughs to be had with a guy like Chris, he’s just a straight up down the middle dull consumer. It baffles me that he’s so popular on YouTube, but then I gotta remind myself at the sheer number of losers there are on planet earth that probably think Chris is a cool dude. It’s amazing really.
Look at that wimp. You think that’s someone you want having your back when shit goes down? Chris is the type of dude who has 911 as an emergency contact in his phone, he’s the type of dude who’s the first one out of the building in the face on conflict. He wouldnt think twice to throw you under the bus of it meant he didn’t get in trouble. The definition of a sissy b***h. God I hate him and his wiener sucking face (literally). That beta male aura that radiates off him in every single video, I’m not surprised that he came out and admitted to liking wiener, in fact I expected it.
Chris the type of kid in school who covered his paper up when you tried to peak at his answers. The type of kid who told the teachers if there was an organized fight happening outside of school. He’s the type of kid where if you confronted him about his cowardice he would go and cry to the principal.
Stick in the mud also. Can you imagine having a drink with this guy and having some banter? Of course not. He'd get all pissy and sullen over the smallest joke at his expense. He's lame, like Zod's snapped neck.
Frick Chris Stuckmann. No, I will not get "STUCKMANNIZED" you soulless bugman.
Seething
>t. got Stuckmannized
This is very true and apparent to anyone who’s ever known a guy like this. Chris checks all the boxes and I don’t need to know him personally to know that
Why did this homosexual got big in the first place is beyond me. He's the most mediocre milquetoast nullity that I have ever seen make videos about movies.
have you ever spoken to a normie?
There has to be a reason why this non entity triumphed where the other non entities fell.
WHen is his movie coming out, those behind the scenes videos showing him looking in way over his head had be laughing
Which videos?
he released some behind the scenes videos of Shelby Oakes months ago, did he delete them?
You're thinking of Shelby Oaks. Shelby Oakes is a different film.
>look him up on twitter/x
>no account
>of course he deleted it like a lot of NPCs did when Elon bought it but he still has his instagram
He's so fricking predictable and boring
I bet you he has a bluesky account.
X is shitting on him so hard right now. There's no way he's thick skinned enough to have an account there
It's twitter.
>deadnaming a website
Epic gamer move
why? what happened?
Are you he sure he deleted it after the Elon acquisition?
Making a movie is difficult but not with the absurd amount of money Chris raised.
It is of you mismanage that money.
How much did he spend?
Do you think he would lose passion for films if he tried to make his own film?
>Lion King (2019) Editing Highlights - Part 3657
>spends an hour and a half seething about Sound of Freedom
I'd say he's already there
Man twinks hit the wall hard.
is that chris chan
ITT: people who never made a film criticizing someone who did.
Don't drown in all that jealousy.
Why do you watch this guy if you apparently hate him?
I enjoy his decline. I want to see his film crash and burn. I am a hater.
>filmmakers
>1x short
Er okay
For whaveter reason i have never watched any of this guys reviews even tho tey keep bombarding me with them on my israelitetube homepage, i clicked on this one just to hear what he has to say about this apparent shitfest that is Madame Webb and i was surprised to hear all he has to say is pretty much what OP says "OMG IS HARD MAKING MOVIES I FEEL FOR THE DIRECTOR AND WRITERS AND ACTORS OMG WE SO SAD PLEASE UNDERSTAND"... but he never mentions hat they can simply say NO I QUIT THANK YOU... he wants me to feel sorry for these parasites shitting horrible entertainment just because OMG their bosses tell them to make changes, well then just fricking wuit or say no... how fricking hard is it? and if you say that quitting and saying no will get you out of that studio or project then so be it, why would anyone comprimise their integrity or dignity by working for such a company? never watching any more of this basedboy, i just blocked his videos from appearing on my homepage.
Cyber City Oedo
>Ninja Scroll
>Wicked City
>Geno Cyber
>Angel Cop
Angel's Egg
Appleseed
Battle Angel Alita
The Big O
Birdy the Mighty
Black Magic M-66
Blue Submarine No. 6
Dominion + New Dominion Tank Police
Fist of the North Star
Goku: Midnight Eye I / II
Golden Boy
Gunbuster
Gunsmith Cats
Iria: Zeiram the Animation
Macross Plus
Mad Bull 34
Memories: Magnetic Rose
Metropolis
Patlabor 1 - 3
Roujin Z
Space Adventure Cobra
Space Dandy
Spriggan
Bubblegum Crisis
>Ninja Scroll
Wicked City
Geno Cyber
Angel Cop
Angel's Egg
Appleseed
Battle Angel Alita
The Big O
Birdy the Mighty
Black Magic M-66
Blue Submarine No. 6
Dominion + New Dominion Tank Police
Fist of the North Star
Goku: Midnight Eye I / II
Golden Boy
Gunbuster
Gunsmith Cats
Iria: Zeiram the Animation
Macross Plus
Mad Bull 34
Memories: Magnetic Rose
Metropolis
Patlabor 1 - 3
Roujin Z
Space Adventure Cobra
Space Dandy
Spriggan
Bubblegum Crisis
Kino taste in anime tbh
Rich Evans getting buff
I used to respect his reviews but since he tried to make it into the industry he became affraid of having an opinion, wich just shows you how fricked up the industry is, they completely broke him and he is yet to release a single movie lmao
>I used to respect his reviews
why
I have no friends
You can't be "in the industry" and a critic at the same time. That's moronic. You have to pick a side.
And before you open your fat mouth and say otherwise. No. Nobody wants to work with somebody that talks shit about them. This is true in any field or line of work.
If dude is going to be a movie critic he should stick to YouTube videos. If he wants to make movies he should get an entry level job like a grip or something and go all in and learn the craft. You can't have it both ways
Agreed but i'm convinced these daft c**ts think making youtube videos is the same as making films. It's a strange kind of stupid.
never seen a french new wave film have we. they were ruthless critics. they coined the phrase, to critique a film, make a film.
how is it not filmmaking? filmmaking = just a camera + creativity. you're a hollywood elitist
You just proved my point. Nobody watches French New Wave. It's a dead genre. And what was made at the time was purely experimental, for outsiders. No money to be made there. Art films are their own niche. And certainly not in the vein of what a YouTube critic covers it wants to make.
YouTube critics want to make Hollywood movies but without the perceived flaws of current Hollywood movies (even though they can't and don't know how) They don't want to make French art films.
New wave wasn't a "genre". And bunch of profitable films were actually made by French New wave filmmakers, because believe it or not, there actually was a time when alternative culture and movies were appreciated by people, it wasn't all soulless goyslop to brainless audiences like today.
You are kinda making my point tho
>You can't be "in the industry" and a critic at the same time.
This is a very hollywood-centric view, there's film scenes around the world where they critique each other in good faith all the time yet they still come togheter to work
And you can be a good critic whitout ''talking shit'', you can point out the good and the bad in a film whitout making it personal or being mean, that is another very american missconception
This idea that the film industry has to be these close knitted clique of the same people nepo-ing each other whiout accountabilty is why Hollywood is dying... and good riddance
>This idea that the film industry has to be these close knitted clique of the same people nepo-ing each other
You need to be in the industry to know who the talented crew are, you don't get the best, or even semi-competent by posting a wanted ad on monster.com, you get twats that are playing at it, like youtubers making 'films'
There's a difference between being an industry profesional and being part of a corrupt clique my friend
One of the good things A.I. migh bring is that americans won't have the monopoly of film production anymore, the fact that you no longer will need millions of dollars just to make something watchable is about to bring us a revolution in film-making
There's some dude in some easter european shithole who is about to become the next Coppola or Almodovar thanks to A.I. and that's a good thing
Sweet Christmas
>There's some dude in some easter european shithole who is about to become the next Coppola or Almodovar thanks to A.I. and that's a good thing
There's hundreds of thousands of dudes**
We will see a flood of A.I. slop, some of it even great, but they will have no audience to speak of. This is the future of entertainment. You will all be begging for Hollywood back.
>There's a difference between being an industry profesional and being part of a corrupt clique my friend
but there isn't
You need to know somebody to get in. But you can't know anybody without getting in. It's a chicken and egg situation. And it's 100% by design. To keep out competition.If you don't bo somebody, forget it. The door is beyond closed. It's nailed, welded, and covered in cement. It's why the acting industry is nothing but related nepo babies. It's the only way in.
The only other way is to start at the absolute 'bottom' (L.I.T.R.A.L.L.Y.)
>there's film scenes around the world
What you are talking about about is the equivalent of a classroom getting together and voting on the best show and tell. Those "scenes" are glorified film school. They aren't the industry.
i prefer dakota simply because she is pale
>early life
Don't worry , Chris...your time as a filmmaker is nearly over.
>erm, why do the pod racers keep moving from left to right, left to right, left to right??? esh....so boring
He's really taking a beating from his own fans, and that's saying a lot considering how moronic you probably must be to be a regular listener of this guy.
Is it possible to embarrass himself more with this movie than when he did this? Most people won't even care about the movie. It'll be boring and safe, like his reviews, with a few ""artistic flourishes" stolen straight from better directors. But this post had the entire internet laughing at him.
Too soon bro...too soon. That whole kerfuffle hurt him. Like bad. To the point that he actually made a video to tell people to stop and lay off of him.
Oof, that's a stinker. At least he's about as good as modern Hollywood writers.
>"Tell that to Zod's snapped neck!"
Say that to zod's snapped NECK
forgot about this clown
isn't he a literal unironic israelite?
we don't need another video from a critic shitting on a movie we all know is bad. literally who cares
>literally who cares
there is a massive crossover between the 10k losers who watch this crap on YT, and the 100 losers that post on Cinemaphile.
This guy would have been better off producing short movies that only cost him $10K, $50K, so on, for his captive audience of 2 million subscribers. That way he'd actually have room to improve from one project to the other, try his hand at different genres, etc. He might even be noticed by Hollywood if the shorts are any good, like that short horror film youtuber that was given a Blumhouse horror movie to direct. Or that 17-year old that produced those Backrooms CGI videos.
It really seems like Chris was more interested at "playing director" than he was of actually honing his craft. Now he's going to blow his load all at once (his subscribers, moronic as they may be, aren't going to be lining up to donate for another $1M+ film project where half the budget goes to hiring Keith David so Chris can feel like a real director). And Chris will be stuck doing YouTube the rest of his life.
>trust me, I know what I'm talking about
What's his movie called Shelby oaks? kek you can tell how shit its going to be just by that title,
>Shelby oaks
sounds like a pornstar
it sounds like late 90s low budget Oscar bait
>Shelby Oaks (1998)
>Dir. Anthony Minghella
>Starring Kevin Spacey, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Robin Williams
>Distributed by Miramax & The Weinstein Company
>144 min
>An author suffering from writer's block following the death of his wife moves to a quiet village in Massachusetts in the 1960s, and strikes up a relationship with his librarian neighbor, who has developed early on-set dementia
If I were a 20-40 something single female curled up on the couch with a warm blanket and a cup of hot cocoa I might watch it. But if I'm me? Not a chance.
Written by Stephen King
>Winner of five Academy Awards including Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay, Best Actress and Best Editing
>In Best Picture, following a blistering late awards campaign by The Weinstein Company, the film unexpectedly beat out four higher grossing nominees in John Milius' King Conan: Crown of Iron, Steven Spielberg's Indiana Jones & the Fate of Atlantis, George Lucas's Star Wars Episode VII: Heir to the Empire, and John Landis' They Had It Coming.
>was originally going to star Ashley Judd but something came up and she couldn't do it.
Indy should have won, as a sendoff. It was real good.
M-More like Shelby CROAKS!!!
captcha: 0hh4
Where can I find this. At least post a webm.
its in preproduction or something, comes after shelby oaks
These film review guys are always so depressed because they lack the creative spark or talent to do something themselves. Then their entire lives revolve around becoming a critic, and they end up hollow and burnt out inside. It becomes their job and they become enslaved to their patreon overlords and they push out new content constantly despite wishing they would just die and not wake up tomorrow morning.
That's why he's still the GOAT, even though it was all garbage!
I might just be that most of the movies that people want to see reviews on a generate clicks, are shit. We don't have to watch Manam Web. He does.
The capeshit genre is dead and there aren't that many Oppenheimers and Killers of the Flower Moon to go around.
Creative spark is overrated. A director should actually not be creative and be able to harness other peoples autism to create coherent art. Creativity is the death of art. Art is about discipline, which Chris Stuckmann has shown many times.
Cope
it's called the c-student, middle manager phenomenon. the Director should be able to harness insanely talented people, but he shouldn't be a creative mad man himself. His DP should be. His actors should be. He should be boring, like Steve Stuckmann or we. Look at the films of Werner Herzog, and Wim Wenders, germans are known for having no creative spark. But their films are incredible.
>it's called the c-student, middle manager phenomenon. the Director should be able to harness insanely talented people, but he shouldn't be a creative mad man himself. His DP should be. His actors should be. He should be boring, like Steve Stuckmann or we. Look at the films of Werner Herzog, and Wim Wenders, germans are known for having no creative spark. But their films are incredible.
This is so fricking dumb. Mad men DP's don't exist because so much of the work is about AUTISTIC preplanning and how to execute things on a very tight timetable.
Madmen actors can work, but quite often they burn out too many bridges or they lose their minds in the process and won't get hired anymore.
>Look at the films of Werner Herzog, and Wim Wenders, germans are known for having no creative spark.
Both are extremely creative filmmakers who broke bunch of established rules constantly in their careers. Herzog especially is one of the craziest directors to ever exist and you call him the typical autistic German engineer type who is a middle manager? What the frick are you on about? Most moronic post I have read today
read Herzog's poetry, he is an absolute midwit bore. He is attracted to insane subjects and insane people, and he is able to get them to do insane shit. It is why he's good. It is only the orson welles and jean luc godards who are the creative ones out there embarrassing themselves trying to be 'auteurs'.
nonachiever cope
Ah yes, Werner "drag a ship through the jungle for three years" Herzog, typical boring spark-free nerd.
Whenever I read anons' claim that they're good-looking but autism holds them back I couldn't really believe that. But then I look at Stuckmann who's obviously reasonably attractive but he's so clearly a dork and it makes me sad for a moment.
chris stuckmann is only 35
>h-he managed to get Keith David!
yeah so did the Hazbin Hotel people
I could probably get Keith David and I'm not even making anything
If I had Keith David with me, we'd recreate scenes from The Thing and They Live lol.
Keith David
Upcoming Projects:
>Hang Out With Anon And Drink Beers (pre-production)
I think he's doing Destiny since that other Based Black M.an died.
Stuckman’s movie will be shit but anyone still parroting the “critics can’t make movie!” Meme is just moronic.
The only good Schrader films were directed by other people (Scorsese, Pollack, De Palma, Weir)
Mishima is his best movie though.
why do these pedophiles have the same eyes all the time? him, vaush, etc. like opiate size pupils
Shelby Oats?!
All natural oats, straight from the heart of America
its the same shit that joe rogan does
>us comedians am i right
>guys, us filmmakers work so hard, I can't in good conscience rate this movie.
>we filmmakers are doing this for you
>people like, me, the director of miss web, and christopher nolan, just need your understanding
>we are directors, guys. it's kind of what we do for a living, so chill
You're right, he is trying to meme his career into reality, while failing upward. What he didn't account for is that hollywood is repulsed by youtube. They don't recruit from there, never did
>We
>us
>we
>us
>we
tfw nobody has the nerve to tell him
Do you have any actual examples of this supposed "us directors eh?" talk?
all this is going to be so much funnier if his movie sucks
Thats great and all but what about general Zod's snapped neck?