Whenever I see these things now I remember the "Do you know the definition of insanity?" guy from Far Cry 3. >Over and over and over and over again thinking 'this time is gonna be different' no, no, no please... This time is gonna be different
The only way I can explain it is that most of these corporations have been hijacked internally by twitter addicted activists, and they're making films based on their ideals, rather than what audiences want. They still get paid when the films bomb, and they don't care. If anything they just get hired by some other massive corporation and repeat the cycle.
They just care about activism, rather than making a profit, and they're like an infection eating away at every corporation in USA right now.
>take money >there are off-shore companies and banks that are just an empty shell >Dirty money is put in an account, this account issues an invoice or loan to a real company >money goes legally to this company through the loan (that will never be paid back) >Money is now official
Insert shitty movies and Hollywood and you have the israeli Mafia.
>or it's somehow a way to wash illegal money in some form
I've been sayin' this for years about soap operas and hallmark movies.
They gotta be for money laundering purposes.
>There is no way the money pushers wouldn't see the writing on the wall from a mile away though. >So I can only assume it's either malicious or it's somehow a way to wash illegal money in some form.
More and more of the upper management are these idiot true believer women though. Just look at Disney, so it's not just some low level staff writer anymore, it's the head of Lucasfilm, the head of marvel film, and all the entire middle management.
The money men at Disney said "Buy Marvel and Star Wars so you get some boy franchises", then Lucasfilm and Marvel said "turn those into girl franchises".
Diversity mandates and HR departments means a bunch of uni educated women will dominate your coproration, and they all are hardcore twitter addict feminists.
>take money >there are off-shore companies and banks that are just an empty shell >Dirty money is put in an account, this account issues an invoice or loan to a real company >money goes legally to this company through the loan (that will never be paid back) >Money is now official
Insert shitty movies and Hollywood and you have the israeli Mafia.
>or it's somehow a way to wash illegal money in some form
I've been sayin' this for years about soap operas and hallmark movies.
They gotta be for money laundering purposes.
These are dumb-dumb answers. Corps have open books and anything shady can get them sued by their investors.
Who is investing in shitty hallmark movies and soap operas watched only by old women?
Why do they like a hundred fricking christmas movies each year?
They're cheap and fast to make and they aren't shilling out big money to get big name actors in them. The biggest names you'll find are actors that got big after being them, or names from yesteryear, like the chick from full house, or the chick from wonder years.
Honestly the biggest name I've seen in a hallmark is Lacey Chabert and she ain't in SHIT anymore.
3 months ago
Anonymous
Not him but they're probably extremely cheap to make, the actors are garbage and probably wouldn't be employed otherwise. There's no cgi, no stunts so less insurance, the settings are extremely basic, you can probably get away with the b team for everything involved in film and sound, costumes hair and makeup are just regular clothes.
3 months ago
Anonymous
>hallmark movies
They make money by licensing them to all the European TV stations. They have none or very minimal amount of Black folk in them, so they are very palatable by european boomer women. Every holidays, all movies I see on my parents TV are Hallmark feel-good slop.
>More and more of the upper management are these idiot true believer women though. >Diversity mandates and HR departments means a bunch of uni educated women will dominate your coproration, and they all are hardcore twitter addict feminists.
This guy gets it.
>public conscious of famous quotes is now linked to video games and pop culture television
god i fricking hate our modern soi culture so god damn much >definition of insanity? just like my heckin far cry! xD
You're such a fricking moron, work on your reading comprehension before you sattle up on your "uhm ack-tually..." high horse. Of course the "definition of insanity" itself isn't from the character, no one even remotely said that and that every other anon got that and didn't reply a immediate brain fart about society to feel superior over nothing should give you something to think about, because you seem like the exact kind of person you hate so much.
Even though it makes people seethe, The Force Awakens is still like the 5th highest grossing film of all time and the highest grossing star wars film ever made. Sure you can argue that that's nothing to do with it having a female lead and is more down to nostalgia and marketing. But you're not arguing with me, you're arguing with the suits who keep trying to replicate that success. They keep trying because, if they're successful, they've essentially doubled the audience for these franchises. It's the ultimate end goal of any movie studio to make this formula work consistently
Tdoay I will remind you:
"A movie generally needs to earn 2-2.5 times its budget to be profitable, as that figure accounts for the budget, marketing, and the theatres' cut."
She is ugly as frick, why do they never ever ever hire hot b***hes? I know hot black women are rare, but the ones that are mixed, it sometimes happens. This movie is not going to do well, the first one had 2-3 known actors.
because black women know they are only attractive when they have white features.
read: not having big lips, wide noses, sloped forheads, nappy hair, big feet
>Whatever happened to casting attractive black women for these roles? People would complain way less if the girls were actually cute
"Whiteness" and "colorism".
They say that beauty standards are built around whites, ergo they have to pick the least white looking people ever. Notice how the average "black" in tv/films are darker than ever, and mixed people just vanished?
I read this story once about a pirate captain that knows her crew is probably going to mutiny because she's a woman so she keeps them satisfied by letting them gangbang her
Anyway this probably isn't going to be that so I'm not going to watch it
I was just making memes anon. I know black pirates were and are STILL a thing. What's funny is the thought that anyone - including black people - would want to see a black gurlpower pirate franchise movie in 2024
Yeah but when people want a pirate movie they want sword swinging, swashbuckling, yo ho ho, keelhauling, canons, and breaching enemy ships by way of rope swinging. Romanticized shit. Captain Kidd, Black Beard, and the like.
Not somalian rape babies swinging around AKs and machetes.
I mean they regularly cast the blackest Blacks possible for European period pieces so might as well cast some pale, red haired, potato flinging Irish person for this flick
Black folk never became privateers, they would have to be freed as slaves to become pirates. Most privateers were Anglo, Spanish, or French, and they were almost exclusively male. Many "pirates code" or general ship codes included "dont bring a woman on board, nor your 12 year old squire, they will just cause sexual tension and drama"
>a younger cast of pirates
They already tried this shit with Dead Men Tell No Tales, also starring an up-and-coming TV actress (Kaya Scodelario). It wasn't a dismal failure, but it was just soulless and shit enough that it probably killed the franchise.
There is 0 % chance this won't be shit since they're doubling down on bad ideas that they already know won't work
>There is 0 % chance this won't be shit since they're doubling down on bad ideas that they already know won't work
it will fail only because of white chudcels, repeat after me
it will fail only because of white chudcels, repeat after me
it will fail only because of white chudcels, repeat after me
it will fail only because of white chudcels, repeat after me
it will fail only because of white chudcels, repeat after me
I think Disney is the only major media company that can afford to go full woke these days. Other companies will still do "diverse casting" and political messages in low-budget movies but no one else can haemorrhage money on massive franchises like Disney. The Mouse israelites have convinced themselves that "sending a message" is more important than profitable films, because the box office gross is just a small part of their income, and Black Rock will continue to bankroll it in the effort to reset western society or whatever it is they want
Nobody is going to fricking watch this lol. This is very much a product of 2016 or 2017. The whole “what if X but GIRLS” didn’t even sell back then. Boys liked it because it pirate adventures and girls liked it because Jack made them wet
Who is the target audience supposed to be? I watched the first film because of supernatural skeleton pirates. My sisters and mother watched all the movies because of Captain Sparrow. A Girl Pirates of The Californian doesn't appeal to anyone because young men don't like Stronk Feminist Fat Black Lesbian characters and women don't give a shit about Strong Women, they want Dreamy Men in their movies. >Buh what about Hunger Games?
Hunger Games was full of young dreamy popstar boys in skintight suits.
There is no target audience, and the thought doesn't even occur to them. Their morality is highly performative, and it's heavily influenced by the praise or wrath they will receive on Twitter. Any project must be about showing how strong women and minorities are. Doesn't matter that by making action series female focused you alienate men who don't like girly films, and you alienate women who don't like action making "Movies for no one".
All these idiots hired because of HR departments (which only look at grades and idiot feminists test well) and diversity mandates. Once these policies are in place, you can NOT fight against them. Oh and if anyone complains they will gang up and claim that person harassed them (or hugged them and made them feel icky) so they get fired.
It's the same thinking behind Star Wars. They think boys will watch it because of the name and they think girls will watch it because of they put a girl front and center.
Who knows. The first movie had something for everyone. Some feminism, some honorable knight code for the chuds and a stinking funny pirate not giving a single shit. It was I would say Millennial/Zoomer Star Wars.
>i always got hard whenever she was on screen
So same it fricking hurts. I went to DragonCon a little over a decade ago and this woman there looked so similar to her in the cosplay that I got horny wild-eye before I could open my mouth and hit on her, and walked away because I could hardly control such primal horniness so much so that I knew I'd fumble the bag. Her character turns me into a straight up dickbrain.
Even though it makes people seethe, The Force Awakens is still like the 5th highest grossing film of all time and the highest grossing star wars film ever made. Sure you can argue that that's nothing to do with it having a female lead and is more down to nostalgia and marketing. But you're not arguing with me, you're arguing with the suits who keep trying to replicate that success. They keep trying because, if they're successful, they've essentially doubled the audience for these franchises. It's the ultimate end goal of any movie studio to make this formula work consistently
>star wars >50 yr build up to the last and final trilogy of the trilogy >~15-20 yrs between trilogies
vs >PoTB >Name literally first movie and they built onto >tried to come back after few years with 4 installment >failed even with Jack Sparrow >this time will be different without Sparrow or Will Turner/Davy Jones
Pirates of the Carribean is some disney ride turned into movie and they got lucky. Now, it's the last thing they have to ruin and they plan on changing it.
They missed a really good chance to give her hairy pits and legs but nothing.
broad shouldered men give women more orgasms
the breeding selection in africa and american sports probably just stuck hard
idk lmao don't ask me i'm not a scientist
Looks like she can grow some arm hair, just stop waxing and shaving everything for the role and it'll be great.
Why don't they do something different? What happened to the creativity that spawned the series? Why keep pushing out films when you just know everyone is going to say its worse than the first movie because it doesn't include x characters or something else. Hollywood and Disney are moronic.
if it were just attractive women in a movie/story made in earnest, but the fact that its a ugly gorilla is the hollywood bat signal of "this is not about entertainment, a story, sfx, or anything other than forcing our political beliefs down your throat and youre racist/sexist if you see it and racist/sexist if you dont"
>Can’t wait for them to drop 250mil on this and no one shows up
USA's box office is totally dead, and Hollywood has not gotten the memo. Box office has been where most of the studio's profits come from so they're in deep denial that their entire system is broken and that they're doomed to bankrupsy. In the next 10 years we will see a majority of studios just going bankrupt.
>In the next 10 years we will see a majority of studios just going bankrupt.
Disney, Warner Bros, and Paramount are already going bankrupt. Best guess is these studios get bought by tech giants and have to sell off smaller divisions.
So you have Amazon buy a studio and suddenly all their movies heavily feature Amazon services.
Or Apple buys Disney and now all the heroes have the newest Apple gadgets that get digitally updated every year.
Ayo seems to be the new blackie that they're pushing to be huge, despite no one knowing about her and her seemingly having no box office draw.
>Disney, Warner Bros, and Paramount are already going bankrupt.
Disney is big enough that they can survive literally losing 1 billion in the box office recently. The Hulu sales will hurt them way more, but they will have to sell off assets. WB and Paramount are 100% dead though. All they needed to do was make deals with Netflix, Hulu, and other distribution channels and make decent films rather than sinking BILLIONS into garbage like Paramount Plus.
>Best guess is these studios get bought by tech giants and have to sell off smaller divisions.
This is my nightmare scenario, since it means big tech social media companies control everything. So it's just Meta-Google-Amazon-Tiktok-twitter based society forever even though we know they're garbage destroying society.
Max and Paramount Plus have the most goddawful UIs I've ever seen. It's like they make it intentionally hard to find the content you want. So you're forced to watch the latest slop they pump out to please investors. I have the ad supported plans and the ads play at low resolution to save bandwidth. They also force ads onto the pause screen. So the only good thing about a tech company buying those studios is maybe the apps will start being coded properly.
>A female-led spin-off was announced in June 2020, starring Margot Robbie with Christina Hodson writing the screenplay. The film is separate from the sixth film also being developed. Bruckheimer was attached as producer. In November 2022, Robbie said the project was not going forward. Bruckheimer then shared the following month that the project wasn't officially dead and that a sequel merely took priority. He then later reiterated that it will still be made and has a "very strong story" but also needs "a little more work".
Wew lad, should've let Margot be a part of this. She's riding high off of Barbie right now and that would've sold. Margot + Bruckheimer would be a goddamn swindle they could launder so much money from producers.
Also: Ayo *smacks lips* Edebiri
Just give Johnny Depp $300 million and 1,000,001 alpacas to come back as Jack Sparrow because this shit will flop without him
Disney’s hubris will never cease to amaze me. They realize Johnny Depp IS pirates of the caribbean? Anyone saying otherwise is coping hard. Geoffrey Rush is great but he isn’t the one making woman ages 15-55 wet, Jack is
All true, but do you really want to see a washed-up cancer-ridden old-man Depp? Imagine every recent movie they've brought back where the character's now an old man. They've all sucked shit. All of them.
>decent
no she is definitely not
cast Ella Balinska as the lead or no fricking deal
>She's hot, but who's the better actress?
who the frick cares?
it's a fricking disney pirates movie, acting ability? kek
do you think Depp's acting in those movies was deep and meaningful artistry? or just a gimmick that people liked? Orlando Bloom was and still is a shit actor.
>or just a gimmick that people liked?
This one, but Ayo is also a comedy writer. She probably has a gimmick up her sleeve if she can't bring the acting chops. That's my line of thought.
broad shouldered men give women more orgasms
the breeding selection in africa and american sports probably just stuck hard
idk lmao don't ask me i'm not a scientist
Disney’s hubris will never cease to amaze me. They realize Johnny Depp IS pirates of the caribbean? Anyone saying otherwise is coping hard. Geoffrey Rush is great but he isn’t the one making woman ages 15-55 wet, Jack is
And entirely popular because of Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow. Nobody watched any of these movies because of Orlando Bloom or Keira Knightley. There were basically a star vehicle for Depp and he was the only thing carrying them
Also based on a theme park ride that had no named characters in it. Like there's a reason it was so easy for Jack Sparrow to take over the ride when the movies did well.
>Orlando Bloom or Keira Knightley.
they were good to get the female audience on board and I think overall they fit pretty nicely as side characters, William side story on the Dutchman in 2 was nice and the resolution with him and his father was satisfying
I like 2 and 3 a lot, it's a good trilogy, in fact I think the 2nd one is almost as good as the first one and they all aged not only well but 2 and 3 have way better effects than anything coming out nowadays
>Update the redhead in the ride to become a pirate girl and shill her hard in merch in anticipation of her becoming the focus of this female reboot >Go with a black lead instead
And it will bomb. Pirates was about Jack Sparrow and nothing but Jack Sparrow. Without Depp there isn't a franchise. Even with him I doubt anyone cares.
Disney reminds me of one of those guys from old furniture commercials where they would be yelling about how they have too much inventory and everything must go except instead of furniture they're talking about money.
I want you to imagine Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the black pearl.
Now I want you to imagine it with 1/5th of the budget (but the budget will be 200m because embezzlement)
I want you to imagine the cast with 800% more Black folk
I want you to imagine no actors of any worth apart from flavor of the month zoomer shit
I want you to image an AI generated script
I want you to imagine 2024 politics, sensibilities and morals in the 18th century Caribbean
I want you to white man bad
I want you to black man good
I want you to imagine hours of Indian CGI sloppa
And there's your pirates of the Caribbean movie
someone could shoop that bandana to the LGBTBIPOCIsrael flag and put some vibrators behind the skull instead of daggers
beyond that, it's not healthy to pay attention to demoralization media
Disney must be mentally ill. They're incapable of delivering a "big" movie for <$150 million these days and there's no way a DIE spinoff could gross enough to justify that expense.
You do not hand over male IPs to female leads. A b***h winning an award does NOT mean that men automatically want to see her in every fricking little popular thing. It's not impossible to dress up Ayo really attractively and have her play the love interest or whatever to garner interest. It's not impossible. But its an uphill battle if you really want this b***h to be the primary protagonist. The Little Mermaid is a practically radioactive series. You need at least 5 years to let people forget about that fricking movie. Don't just up and shit on Pirates when you have Johnny ready and available.
I'm not watching any western blockbusters anyway so I don't care. Either it's the laziest attempt at diverse pandering you will ever see or it's military propaganda. Or both like with Captain Marvel. Frick that shit. Muttmericans don't know how to make escapist cinema for the masses.
There are more mocking comments like this in the thread than people actually mad about a black pirate. The real issue is that she's an unattractive woman in a male-led franchise that's only notable because of its aging lead. Cast Fleabag and a lot of these comments stay the same.
>This will make our film appeal to women
Pirates already appealed to women because they got to chose between dreamy Orlando Bloom and bad boy Johnny Depp. They are trying to solve a problem that didn't exist.
I watched the first three films recently for the first time and I don't get it. They're nothing special. They don't even tick the pirate box very well because all of the piracy is played comedic effect. Like it's more watered down than the Dread Pirate Roberts subplot of The Princess Bride. Jack Sparrow is, and I'm not even fricking with you lads, the most annoying part of the movies. Will and Will's c**t are bland, but they're inoffensive.
Geoffrey Rush was the only good part, CGI tentacles aside.
I just hope they don’t try to convince me she’s Anne Bonnie. As long as she’s an original character they can do whatever they want.
If the movie gets good reviews from the right people then I’ll watch it once it gets cheap. If it sucks ass I’m not giving them a penny.
>Disney throws millions of dollars worth of US currency into roaring bon fire outside of studio
More accurate headline and they’d probably see a bigger return on their investment selling the footage of them burning the money than actually making this movie
Ayo....
Hol up
SMWD
But pirates were AND still are predominantly black THOUGH
Ayo *smack lips*
That dude *sucks teeth*
Looks like *picks bugs from afro*
A lady *dribbles STDs down leg*
She’s pretty good in the stuff I’ve seen her in so I’m not worried. At least it’s not Jared Leto
Pathetic mouse shills. Frick off and take your nasty gorilla with you
wtf is taht prison costume
?si=43MaMnguDyQOe-Cm
Black guy attacked judge, and to prevent futher aggressions he had to use that in the next trial.
Based. Someone needs to remind these crusty old judges that they serve the people and their moronic thoughts are just that: moronic
>Jumps this high
Lmao. Extremely based
not only whites can't jump but whites can't even doge
SAD
?????????
She fricking sucks. And no, it's not just because she's a Black person.
She’s extremely overrated (and you can guess why)
A Pirate Trilogy starring my wife? Its an interesting concept, let’s see how it pans out
>female led film no one asked for rebooting popular franchise
We're like 10 films into this and they haven't figured it out? Also USA box office is a ghost town and they will just lose more.
Whenever I see these things now I remember the "Do you know the definition of insanity?" guy from Far Cry 3.
>Over and over and over and over again thinking 'this time is gonna be different' no, no, no please... This time is gonna be different
>”everyday until you like it!”
The only way I can explain it is that most of these corporations have been hijacked internally by twitter addicted activists, and they're making films based on their ideals, rather than what audiences want. They still get paid when the films bomb, and they don't care. If anything they just get hired by some other massive corporation and repeat the cycle.
They just care about activism, rather than making a profit, and they're like an infection eating away at every corporation in USA right now.
There is no way the money pushers wouldn't see the writing on the wall from a mile away though.
So I can only assume it's either malicious or it's somehow a way to wash illegal money in some form.
>take money
>there are off-shore companies and banks that are just an empty shell
>Dirty money is put in an account, this account issues an invoice or loan to a real company
>money goes legally to this company through the loan (that will never be paid back)
>Money is now official
Insert shitty movies and Hollywood and you have the israeli Mafia.
>commit financial crimes just to fund shit movies
wow you've really cracked the case genius
moron. The movies are part of the crime. They're helping clean the money.
>or it's somehow a way to wash illegal money in some form
I've been sayin' this for years about soap operas and hallmark movies.
They gotta be for money laundering purposes.
>There is no way the money pushers wouldn't see the writing on the wall from a mile away though.
>So I can only assume it's either malicious or it's somehow a way to wash illegal money in some form.
More and more of the upper management are these idiot true believer women though. Just look at Disney, so it's not just some low level staff writer anymore, it's the head of Lucasfilm, the head of marvel film, and all the entire middle management.
The money men at Disney said "Buy Marvel and Star Wars so you get some boy franchises", then Lucasfilm and Marvel said "turn those into girl franchises".
Diversity mandates and HR departments means a bunch of uni educated women will dominate your coproration, and they all are hardcore twitter addict feminists.
These are dumb-dumb answers. Corps have open books and anything shady can get them sued by their investors.
Who is investing in shitty hallmark movies and soap operas watched only by old women?
Why do they like a hundred fricking christmas movies each year?
They're cheap and fast to make and they aren't shilling out big money to get big name actors in them. The biggest names you'll find are actors that got big after being them, or names from yesteryear, like the chick from full house, or the chick from wonder years.
Honestly the biggest name I've seen in a hallmark is Lacey Chabert and she ain't in SHIT anymore.
Not him but they're probably extremely cheap to make, the actors are garbage and probably wouldn't be employed otherwise. There's no cgi, no stunts so less insurance, the settings are extremely basic, you can probably get away with the b team for everything involved in film and sound, costumes hair and makeup are just regular clothes.
>hallmark movies
They make money by licensing them to all the European TV stations. They have none or very minimal amount of Black folk in them, so they are very palatable by european boomer women. Every holidays, all movies I see on my parents TV are Hallmark feel-good slop.
>More and more of the upper management are these idiot true believer women though.
>Diversity mandates and HR departments means a bunch of uni educated women will dominate your coproration, and they all are hardcore twitter addict feminists.
This guy gets it.
That's exactly what it is
the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he was in it for the money
Its because it's propaganda. Its not about money. Hollywood has been the govts propaganda capital for like 100 years
It's not about supplying a demand, at best it's the opposite.
Demanding a supply?
>public conscious of famous quotes is now linked to video games and pop culture television
god i fricking hate our modern soi culture so god damn much
>definition of insanity? just like my heckin far cry! xD
Yeah but the actual origin is a feminist so it's better this way
You're such a fricking moron, work on your reading comprehension before you sattle up on your "uhm ack-tually..." high horse. Of course the "definition of insanity" itself isn't from the character, no one even remotely said that and that every other anon got that and didn't reply a immediate brain fart about society to feel superior over nothing should give you something to think about, because you seem like the exact kind of person you hate so much.
Even though it makes people seethe, The Force Awakens is still like the 5th highest grossing film of all time and the highest grossing star wars film ever made.
Sure you can argue that that's nothing to do with it having a female lead and is more down to nostalgia and marketing. But you're not arguing with me, you're arguing with the suits who keep trying to replicate that success. They keep trying because, if they're successful, they've essentially doubled the audience for these franchises. It's the ultimate end goal of any movie studio to make this formula work consistently
Today I will remind them
no substract the theater cut and the marketing costs as well
Tdoay I will remind you:
"A movie generally needs to earn 2-2.5 times its budget to be profitable, as that figure accounts for the budget, marketing, and the theatres' cut."
>yidsney
>black female lead
i've already lost interest and forgotten about whatever this garbage is
She is ugly as frick, why do they never ever ever hire hot b***hes? I know hot black women are rare, but the ones that are mixed, it sometimes happens. This movie is not going to do well, the first one had 2-3 known actors.
because black women know they are only attractive when they have white features.
read: not having big lips, wide noses, sloped forheads, nappy hair, big feet
Whatever happened to casting attractive black women for these roles? People would complain way less if the girls were actually cute
I love and prefer black women with straightened hair and I always will.
It's too much effort for most of them hence why they just shave it off and wear a wig.
What an butthole
anon wig culture should be shamed, they wear them instead of washing their hair or having to take care of it, they just decide to buy new hair
t. black
Sorry but I'm a functioning adult and don't see a point in embarrassing strangers in public
t. white
>Sorry but I'm a functioning adult
The frick are you doing here?
Perhaps he means he's a high-functioning autist?
Wigs are based, nigress hair is ugly therefore they should be allowed to wear wigs
>Whatever happened to casting attractive black women for these roles? People would complain way less if the girls were actually cute
"Whiteness" and "colorism".
They say that beauty standards are built around whites, ergo they have to pick the least white looking people ever. Notice how the average "black" in tv/films are darker than ever, and mixed people just vanished?
I read this story once about a pirate captain that knows her crew is probably going to mutiny because she's a woman so she keeps them satisfied by letting them gangbang her
Anyway this probably isn't going to be that so I'm not going to watch it
moronic crew. Should’ve done the mutiny and they just kept her as a sex slave
Frick you for getting my hopes up
dead on arrival
AYO
HOL UP
SO Y'ALL
>smacks lips
BE TELLIN ME
>snaps fingers
THAT WE
>straightens weave
WUZ
>gains 110 pounds
PIRATES
N SHIEEET???
dude for ONCE, black Pirates were a thing
you cant attack THAT
i think women pirate were a huge exception though, like the famous ones are the only ones, famous because of it
I was just making memes anon. I know black pirates were and are STILL a thing. What's funny is the thought that anyone - including black people - would want to see a black gurlpower pirate franchise movie in 2024
Yeah but when people want a pirate movie they want sword swinging, swashbuckling, yo ho ho, keelhauling, canons, and breaching enemy ships by way of rope swinging. Romanticized shit. Captain Kidd, Black Beard, and the like.
Not somalian rape babies swinging around AKs and machetes.
Oh please, it's pirates of the caribbean not pirates of the scandinavian, so it would make sense to cast a darker skin tone person. :/
The original Scandinavians was BLACK
Yakubian devils invaded their lands and stole they culture
Das why vikangz was so violent
I mean they regularly cast the blackest Blacks possible for European period pieces so might as well cast some pale, red haired, potato flinging Irish person for this flick
Yeah but even if it was ‘Pirates of Scandinavia’ they’d have a black cast anyway.
I don't care, I just want them gone.
Reminds me of that viking show that casted some historical norwegian viking jarl as the blackest nigress they could find
Black folk never became privateers, they would have to be freed as slaves to become pirates. Most privateers were Anglo, Spanish, or French, and they were almost exclusively male. Many "pirates code" or general ship codes included "dont bring a woman on board, nor your 12 year old squire, they will just cause sexual tension and drama"
With a yo-ho-ho and a yee-hee-hee.
A search engine and a bottle of booze for you and me.
>a younger cast of pirates
They already tried this shit with Dead Men Tell No Tales, also starring an up-and-coming TV actress (Kaya Scodelario). It wasn't a dismal failure, but it was just soulless and shit enough that it probably killed the franchise.
There is 0 % chance this won't be shit since they're doubling down on bad ideas that they already know won't work
>There is 0 % chance this won't be shit since they're doubling down on bad ideas that they already know won't work
it will fail only because of white chudcels, repeat after me
it will fail only because of white chudcels, repeat after me
it will fail only because of white chudcels, repeat after me
it will fail only because of white chudcels, repeat after me
it will fail only because of white chudcels, repeat after me
>Pirates of the Carribean: Curse of the Black Gurl
Heh
Black girl magic
They can summon virile white men with the power of thought alone
eugh
too late
people are waiting for emily rudd again in one piece
>women involved in the process in any way
i've already lost interest and forgotten about whatever this garbage is
They keep doubling down
I think Disney is the only major media company that can afford to go full woke these days. Other companies will still do "diverse casting" and political messages in low-budget movies but no one else can haemorrhage money on massive franchises like Disney. The Mouse israelites have convinced themselves that "sending a message" is more important than profitable films, because the box office gross is just a small part of their income, and Black Rock will continue to bankroll it in the effort to reset western society or whatever it is they want
>a younger cast of pirates looking for a hidden treasure
Netflix already beat you to the punch, shitney
>rebooting yet another movie but as a female only movie
>female only movie with heavy feminist vibes
Has a single one of these not flopped?
I could have sworn we're at about... 15-0 so far?
Black Rock
Mad Max but that still had Max as a dual lead & the feminism was the old school non woke type everyone agrees with (sex slavery/rape = bad)
I've never seen her in anything until I watched some of her SNL clips. She sounds way different than I thought she would.
>pirate of the caribbean
So it's gonna be about some island nig that steals some cars?
And that's what is been in shown on cinema these days ?
If she has very hairy pits and legs and belly I'll jerk to it.
Nobody is going to fricking watch this lol. This is very much a product of 2016 or 2017. The whole “what if X but GIRLS” didn’t even sell back then. Boys liked it because it pirate adventures and girls liked it because Jack made them wet
This b***h is so annoying to watch in The Bear, hate how she acts, I had to skip most of the screentime
DEY SAIL NAO?
Who is the target audience supposed to be? I watched the first film because of supernatural skeleton pirates. My sisters and mother watched all the movies because of Captain Sparrow. A Girl Pirates of The Californian doesn't appeal to anyone because young men don't like Stronk Feminist Fat Black Lesbian characters and women don't give a shit about Strong Women, they want Dreamy Men in their movies.
>Buh what about Hunger Games?
Hunger Games was full of young dreamy popstar boys in skintight suits.
At the very least, women want to look at something pretty and beautiful like Barbie rather than some fat black lesbian
twitter twats and bloggers who make a living either sperging out about shit movies or defending the shit movies
>Who is the target audience supposed to be?
There is no target audience, and the thought doesn't even occur to them. Their morality is highly performative, and it's heavily influenced by the praise or wrath they will receive on Twitter. Any project must be about showing how strong women and minorities are. Doesn't matter that by making action series female focused you alienate men who don't like girly films, and you alienate women who don't like action making "Movies for no one".
All these idiots hired because of HR departments (which only look at grades and idiot feminists test well) and diversity mandates. Once these policies are in place, you can NOT fight against them. Oh and if anyone complains they will gang up and claim that person harassed them (or hugged them and made them feel icky) so they get fired.
It's the same thinking behind Star Wars. They think boys will watch it because of the name and they think girls will watch it because of they put a girl front and center.
Who knows. The first movie had something for everyone. Some feminism, some honorable knight code for the chuds and a stinking funny pirate not giving a single shit. It was I would say Millennial/Zoomer Star Wars.
>wome-
dropped
here is disneys storyboard
Is my stinky sweatwife coming back?
i always got hard whenever she was on scree, save for whenever she opened her mouth and you could see her black teeth. bad oral hygiene is disgusting
>i always got hard whenever she was on screen
So same it fricking hurts. I went to DragonCon a little over a decade ago and this woman there looked so similar to her in the cosplay that I got horny wild-eye before I could open my mouth and hit on her, and walked away because I could hardly control such primal horniness so much so that I knew I'd fumble the bag. Her character turns me into a straight up dickbrain.
>how to correctly add Black folk to your film
>star wars
>50 yr build up to the last and final trilogy of the trilogy
>~15-20 yrs between trilogies
vs
>PoTB
>Name literally first movie and they built onto
>tried to come back after few years with 4 installment
>failed even with Jack Sparrow
>this time will be different without Sparrow or Will Turner/Davy Jones
Pirates of the Carribean is some disney ride turned into movie and they got lucky. Now, it's the last thing they have to ruin and they plan on changing it.
They missed a really good chance to give her hairy pits and legs but nothing.
Looks like she can grow some arm hair, just stop waxing and shaving everything for the role and it'll be great.
I loved the bald one
Bald women are so fricking hot
What is her acting ability? Is her character in The Bear all she can do, because it’s really annoying.
Why don't they do something different? What happened to the creativity that spawned the series? Why keep pushing out films when you just know everyone is going to say its worse than the first movie because it doesn't include x characters or something else. Hollywood and Disney are moronic.
the 4th and 5th movies werent even that popular and people barely knew they existed, and those still had johnny depp
no ones gonna watch the latest nignog token from twitter on the screen lol
>no ones gonna watch the latest nignog token from twitter on the screen lol
I read her letterbox and every review she worked in ACAB. She's a nitwit.
all criminals are black?
if it were just attractive women in a movie/story made in earnest, but the fact that its a ugly gorilla is the hollywood bat signal of "this is not about entertainment, a story, sfx, or anything other than forcing our political beliefs down your throat and youre racist/sexist if you see it and racist/sexist if you dont"
Can’t wait for them to drop 250mil on this and no one shows up
>Can’t wait for them to drop 250mil on this and no one shows up
USA's box office is totally dead, and Hollywood has not gotten the memo. Box office has been where most of the studio's profits come from so they're in deep denial that their entire system is broken and that they're doomed to bankrupsy. In the next 10 years we will see a majority of studios just going bankrupt.
>In the next 10 years we will see a majority of studios just going bankrupt.
Disney, Warner Bros, and Paramount are already going bankrupt. Best guess is these studios get bought by tech giants and have to sell off smaller divisions.
So you have Amazon buy a studio and suddenly all their movies heavily feature Amazon services.
Or Apple buys Disney and now all the heroes have the newest Apple gadgets that get digitally updated every year.
Ayo seems to be the new blackie that they're pushing to be huge, despite no one knowing about her and her seemingly having no box office draw.
>Disney, Warner Bros, and Paramount are already going bankrupt.
Disney is big enough that they can survive literally losing 1 billion in the box office recently. The Hulu sales will hurt them way more, but they will have to sell off assets. WB and Paramount are 100% dead though. All they needed to do was make deals with Netflix, Hulu, and other distribution channels and make decent films rather than sinking BILLIONS into garbage like Paramount Plus.
>Best guess is these studios get bought by tech giants and have to sell off smaller divisions.
This is my nightmare scenario, since it means big tech social media companies control everything. So it's just Meta-Google-Amazon-Tiktok-twitter based society forever even though we know they're garbage destroying society.
Max and Paramount Plus have the most goddawful UIs I've ever seen. It's like they make it intentionally hard to find the content you want. So you're forced to watch the latest slop they pump out to please investors. I have the ad supported plans and the ads play at low resolution to save bandwidth. They also force ads onto the pause screen. So the only good thing about a tech company buying those studios is maybe the apps will start being coded properly.
but you know it's inevitable either way anon.
they *already* do
at least with star wars they went with a black guy, latino guy, and attractive white woman. literally no one wants a black lady in anything
Disney intentionally trying to lowering its value for a apple buy out aren’t they?
Ever since Disney was taken over by the israelites, its demise was inevitable, we're in the end stage now
>what if PotC but black woman
absolutely inspired
>A female-led spin-off was announced in June 2020, starring Margot Robbie with Christina Hodson writing the screenplay. The film is separate from the sixth film also being developed. Bruckheimer was attached as producer. In November 2022, Robbie said the project was not going forward. Bruckheimer then shared the following month that the project wasn't officially dead and that a sequel merely took priority. He then later reiterated that it will still be made and has a "very strong story" but also needs "a little more work".
Wew lad, should've let Margot be a part of this. She's riding high off of Barbie right now and that would've sold. Margot + Bruckheimer would be a goddamn swindle they could launder so much money from producers.
Also: Ayo *smacks lips* Edebiri
what happened to margot robbie? I wanna see her as a pirate.
but there's already a mostly female pirates movie
heh
heheh
>younger
b***h looks like she's in her 40s
she's kino and you know it
>pirates of the caribbean without johnny depp
literally negative amounts of people give a shit
All true, but do you really want to see a washed-up cancer-ridden old-man Depp? Imagine every recent movie they've brought back where the character's now an old man. They've all sucked shit. All of them.
She's hot, but who's the better actress?
>She's hot, but who's the better actress?
who the frick cares?
it's a fricking disney pirates movie, acting ability? kek
do you think Depp's acting in those movies was deep and meaningful artistry? or just a gimmick that people liked? Orlando Bloom was and still is a shit actor.
>or just a gimmick that people liked?
This one, but Ayo is also a comedy writer. She probably has a gimmick up her sleeve if she can't bring the acting chops. That's my line of thought.
>do you really want to see a washed-up cancer-ridden old-man Depp
i don't want a new pirates movie at all
AYO?
AYO???
Just give Johnny Depp $300 million and 1,000,001 alpacas to come back as Jack Sparrow because this shit will flop without him
The same franchises FOREVER! YAY!
what a godawful picture of her, she looks 15 years older
here, a real picture
she's a decent looking woman
suburban even
they played it safe this time
why are black women so broad shouldered?
broad shouldered men give women more orgasms
the breeding selection in africa and american sports probably just stuck hard
idk lmao don't ask me i'm not a scientist
Estrogen and testosterone follow the same patterns as IQ.
black people have more hormonal issues than other races typically
>decent
no she is definitely not
cast Ella Balinska as the lead or no fricking deal
s-sexo
And Kat Graham as her sister
I'd watch this. Ain't racist when I'm horny.
Disney’s hubris will never cease to amaze me. They realize Johnny Depp IS pirates of the caribbean? Anyone saying otherwise is coping hard. Geoffrey Rush is great but he isn’t the one making woman ages 15-55 wet, Jack is
Indian ripoff when?
looks like a sure-fire hit!
PoTC is an entire 5 movie, 20+ year old franchise riding the coattails and goodwill of ONE actual good movie (the first one)
And entirely popular because of Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow. Nobody watched any of these movies because of Orlando Bloom or Keira Knightley. There were basically a star vehicle for Depp and he was the only thing carrying them
Also based on a theme park ride that had no named characters in it. Like there's a reason it was so easy for Jack Sparrow to take over the ride when the movies did well.
>Orlando Bloom or Keira Knightley.
they were good to get the female audience on board and I think overall they fit pretty nicely as side characters, William side story on the Dutchman in 2 was nice and the resolution with him and his father was satisfying
I like 2 and 3 a lot, it's a good trilogy, in fact I think the 2nd one is almost as good as the first one and they all aged not only well but 2 and 3 have way better effects than anything coming out nowadays
oh look, it's exactly what Cinemaphile has spent 8 years joking about.
>Update the redhead in the ride to become a pirate girl and shill her hard in merch in anticipation of her becoming the focus of this female reboot
>Go with a black lead instead
Kek.
And it will bomb. Pirates was about Jack Sparrow and nothing but Jack Sparrow. Without Depp there isn't a franchise. Even with him I doubt anyone cares.
Why?
>black
>pirate
E hecking historically accurate. Thank you Disney
Disney reminds me of one of those guys from old furniture commercials where they would be yelling about how they have too much inventory and everything must go except instead of furniture they're talking about money.
I want you to imagine Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the black pearl.
Now I want you to imagine it with 1/5th of the budget (but the budget will be 200m because embezzlement)
I want you to imagine the cast with 800% more Black folk
I want you to imagine no actors of any worth apart from flavor of the month zoomer shit
I want you to image an AI generated script
I want you to imagine 2024 politics, sensibilities and morals in the 18th century Caribbean
I want you to white man bad
I want you to black man good
I want you to imagine hours of Indian CGI sloppa
And there's your pirates of the Caribbean movie
This was probably the actual pitch made to the Disney board.
there is precedent
>Disney the Flop Corporation
someone could shoop that bandana to the LGBTBIPOCIsrael flag and put some vibrators behind the skull instead of daggers
beyond that, it's not healthy to pay attention to demoralization media
I refuse to believe that's actually her name. Who the frick would name their kid Ayo Smackslips Tentsfingers?
>Anne
Sounds pretty based. Unlike most other things in human history, pirates had some outstanding women among them
Disney must be mentally ill. They're incapable of delivering a "big" movie for <$150 million these days and there's no way a DIE spinoff could gross enough to justify that expense.
AYO.
SO YOU IZ SAYIN'
SO YOU IZ SAYIN'
WE WUZ PI-RATS 'N SHIET?
>how do we respond
With apathy and not watching it as per usual.
You do not hand over male IPs to female leads. A b***h winning an award does NOT mean that men automatically want to see her in every fricking little popular thing. It's not impossible to dress up Ayo really attractively and have her play the love interest or whatever to garner interest. It's not impossible. But its an uphill battle if you really want this b***h to be the primary protagonist. The Little Mermaid is a practically radioactive series. You need at least 5 years to let people forget about that fricking movie. Don't just up and shit on Pirates when you have Johnny ready and available.
I'm not watching any western blockbusters anyway so I don't care. Either it's the laziest attempt at diverse pandering you will ever see or it's military propaganda. Or both like with Captain Marvel. Frick that shit. Muttmericans don't know how to make escapist cinema for the masses.
For me, it's Mary Read.
Why are women pretending to be men so fricking hot bros?
South Korea made a whole television genre out of that concept for some reason
How dare they the Caribbean is well known to be mostly white people. This is gross misrepresentation.
There are more mocking comments like this in the thread than people actually mad about a black pirate. The real issue is that she's an unattractive woman in a male-led franchise that's only notable because of its aging lead. Cast Fleabag and a lot of these comments stay the same.
flopkino
>piratesisters how do we respond?
Dont watch that shit
>character named Anne
So Anne Bonny? The female redhead pirate?
>So Anne Bonny? The female redhead pirate?
That's right, the famous negress Anne Bonny.
Ayo we be black soul sista piraps an shit.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Deaf Men Hear No Beeping
PUT A CHICK IN IT AND MAKE HER GAY!!!!
Well they sure as frick can't bring Depp back, he looks like shit.
butt pirates we are so fricking back
Flop
>This will make our film appeal to women
Pirates already appealed to women because they got to chose between dreamy Orlando Bloom and bad boy Johnny Depp. They are trying to solve a problem that didn't exist.
they are not trying to appeal to "women".
they're trying to appeal to twatteroids who only watch movies because of identity politics.
The women who make these films are all lesbians
I watched the first three films recently for the first time and I don't get it. They're nothing special. They don't even tick the pirate box very well because all of the piracy is played comedic effect. Like it's more watered down than the Dread Pirate Roberts subplot of The Princess Bride. Jack Sparrow is, and I'm not even fricking with you lads, the most annoying part of the movies. Will and Will's c**t are bland, but they're inoffensive.
Geoffrey Rush was the only good part, CGI tentacles aside.
WHAT HAPPENED TO POND YOU FRICKING wienerSUCKERS???
https://movieweb.com/pirates-of-the-caribbean-6-karen-gillan/
too sexy, had to be fired. They only get away with her in Capeshit because of the 50 pounds of makeup
Yeah no I'm good.
>AYO
kino inbound
I had to reread that tweet 6 fricking times before I understood "Ayo Edebiri" is a NAME and not fricking mooncricket ghetto slang. What the frick?
I just hope they don’t try to convince me she’s Anne Bonnie. As long as she’s an original character they can do whatever they want.
If the movie gets good reviews from the right people then I’ll watch it once it gets cheap. If it sucks ass I’m not giving them a penny.
>Disney throws millions of dollars worth of US currency into roaring bon fire outside of studio
More accurate headline and they’d probably see a bigger return on their investment selling the footage of them burning the money than actually making this movie
can't believe the loss in 2023 wasn't enough for Disney
what's their goal now??
I dont even care about pirates after 3. at least we have one piece now
>pirate
>swims like a brick
The reboot is not going to last too long
Ayo, e' de biri.
>piratesisters how do we respond?
>>>
all i need to do is sit back and wait for disney to lose millions.
based. we just aint gonna watch it (and if we do cuz our gfs beg, itll be pirated)
this b***h was horrible in The Bear, yet she won awards for it
>mosquito coast
you dont live in tropics you northern moron kek
will never be able to beat the comedic beats that the original three pirate movies had
Fake and gay
Not a single non bullshit source is saying anything.
mass replies should be instant death penalty
>Captain Black Sparrow
Ayo has 0 sex appeal. 20 years ago, Hollywood would’ve had cast a Halle Berry/Stacey Dash looking b***h. What has changed?
>Mosquito Coast
So they'll all have AIDs and Malaria then you reckon?