George goes into a convenience store, but they don't have what he wants and to avoid looking like a thief he wanders around awkwardly pretending to be shopping for a while before trying to leave, but doing all that gets the clerks suspicious.
That's all I got. I think this every time I go into a gas station.
And then George and Jerry try it but George gets spooked by nothing and drops a bunch of glass bottles while running out and Jerry has to pay for it all
>George goes back to the same store with Kramer so he can buy something to prove he's not a thief >Leave the store >Kramer pulls out a candy bar he stole and George freaks out
Dress nice, walk confidently like you work there, and if they greet you, self-assuredly greet them back with perfect dictation, eloquence, and an air of friendliness and sex-havingness. Park your luxury or sports car in the nearest parking space so they can see it. It also helps to be on the phone with someone very important, like a CEO, respected politician, or the Pope. It’s not foolproof and you may occasionally feel anxious, but it should help some.
Better that he and some other dude are waiting for a shipment to come in on some chips with a rare flavor they both want to resell, and are constantly trying to one-up the other while not attracting the attention of the clerk.
George keeps drinking the coffee but it malfunctions and keeps running. He keeps trying to get cups but it spills all over and gets kicked out just when the shipment comes in
Literally me at hardware store when they don't have some stupid little thing I need. >George ends up buying tool he doesn't need, still looks nervous while buying them >thinks some guy in the paking lot that looked at him for 2 seconds is an undercover cop and following him >Kramer makes a joke about the cops planting evidence, 20 volt tool batteries with the security tag on them or whatever >George is checking around and realizes he actually did accidentally steal one of those tiny almost useless keychain measuring tapes >goes to the hardware store to give it back >reurn desk refuse to take it because it's something they don't even really inventory >George put it back and feels better for about 10 seconds >turns around to see a security guard with his hands on his hips
Whats always missed in these threads is it just becomes putting the characters as we see them in situations involving current things. But the best episodes were taken right from the lives of the writers. Stuff like this works way better than all the blm streamer shit. I think its best to try and find times in our lives when we acted georgish or kramerish etc.
J: So, George is she pre-op? Post op?
G: I'm not sure
J: you're not sure and you're on the 3rd date?
G: you don't think-
J: oh I think!
G: oh geez *panic*
G: what do I do if *makes a flopping motion with his arm*
*Kramer slides in*
K: *goes and gets a smoked sausage from the fridge* what's up
J: George has a date with a transgender person
K: pre op?
G & J: dunno
K: George you ever here of futanari
G: futa whatee?
K: futanari, it's when-
*apartment intercom buzzes, Jerry answers.*
E: it's me
J: come on
J: I thinks it's very woke of you george
G: bah woke. I'm already broke I don't need woke
K: oh you gotta be woke
*Elaine entere*
J: are you woke?
E: I'm dating a guy black
K: oh she's woke
E: why are you asking me that?
J:George has a date with transgal
E: shut up *pushes Kramer, his smoked sausage hits George in the face*
J: guess you'll need the practice
>She has a penis, Jerry! >A penis? >Like a small cute and feminine penis? >Oh I wish Jerry... >What, so it's a real man's penis? >A FULL ON TEN INCHER, JERRY! >So let me get this straight... >Here we go... >Your girlfriend... has a bigger penis than you?
Jerry picks up girls by using his namesake, Nobody knows what he looks like but they know his name, George hears this and uses it to pick up women, Meanwhile Kramer does jerry's set as "jerry" so that jerry can go on a date with this girl who seems to keep flaking him. Kramer drops the n bomb on the set, rest writes itself.
>Kramer gets a black friend >calls him "my Black person" >says "you people always say homie is your word, I thought that meant Black person was ours" >George is lonely >what's the deal with rising gas prices
Episode with Elain trying to get into film acting but the film she's in flops. Jerry see's this and tries a film career by making a children's movie but that flops also.
With Jerry busy with his film venture, Kramer takes over Jerry's stand up comedy role at the laugh factory.
Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer attend a weekend technology retreat in the countryside. The retreat promises a digital detox and an opportunity to reconnect with nature, but chaos ensues as the group struggles to adapt to the tech-free environment In the end, the gang returns to their tech-saturated lives with a newfound appreciation for the benefits of technology, however quirky and absurd they may be
george gets mugged, flips out, and pushes somebody else into the alley for the mugger to steal from. He starts to view every person and shady location as a potential mugging, and he hides a bunch of fake wallets on himself.
kramer gets a rodent infestation. He panics, then accepts it and builds little rat doors into his and jerrys door, then goes haywire again. No resolution is offered.
Elaine puts on a little weight (imagined) and goes on a radical diet, then starts giving jerry shit for not following the same radical diet
jerry wins 20 dollars on a scratchie he finds in his jacket pocket, but it expires on the day he tries to cash it in, and him and the bodega clerk get into a israelite-off
Honestly a troony that used to be called Sam (male) and is now called Sam (female) getting angry at George for saying that they hadn't changed their name would work perfectly
>BLM riots >Jerry and gerg giving thumbs up out jerrys appt window >rock through window >jerry yels "NO NO NO YOU STUPID Black folk!!!! WE'RE ON YOUR SIIIDE!"
There should be an SCP-like wiki for summaries of back-episodes, that came out since season 9.
The script set on 9/11 would be worth considering for instance.
Season 17, Episode X: The Fork would be an all-time classic would it not?
When would Jerry get iPad?
>so how was the date with what’s his name? >ummm, it was ok >just ok? >wellll... >come on, out with it >he’s a coomer, Jerry >a ‘coomer’?? >yah >well so what, all men are coomers really. I’m a coomer! >oh no, not like this >Kramer’s a coomer! >oh yeah, Kramer’s a coomer >see it’s not that bad >I don’t know, he showed me a lot of weird stuff >well like what? >*slow exhale*... you ever seen a trap? >a trap? >yeah like a… trans… (makes the ‘mixed’ gesture w hands) >you mean...? >oh yeah >like with all the.... parts? >yep! aaaall the parts >yikes >he’s obsessed with them! he follows them on Instagram, chaturbate, onlyfans.... it’s a real problem! >I see >and he’s giving them money! Like it’s not enough to be cooming to them all day, he has to be supporting them financially too?! >so he’s a coomer AND a simp! >yes!! >we’ll take the check
>George fakes different illnesses to get to work from home >ACTUALLY gets rare tropical disease that no one believes >kramer has a side gig selling vax boosters >hooks George up with remedy
>Jerry gets bumped on train and spills coffee on himself >he calls her a (bad word) >Jerry's current gf introduces him to her friend >it's the (bad word) lady >he has to pretend he was calling her something else >accidentally says an even more offensive word
>Elaine does NPC streaming >George becomes obsessed with it during his quarantines >after taking Kramer's drug George goes crazy, bursts into Elaine's apartment
George: she had a gyatt jerry, a GYATT!
Jerry: a gyatt? Are you sure
George: Ohhh yea, she was double cheeked up in a pair of lulu lemons jerry!
Jerry: Both cheeks?
George: Two cheeks! It was amazing
*Kramer opens the door*
*Applause*
Kramer: Hey are you guys talking about that woman who was walking down by the post office earlier?
George: Yea kramah what about her?
Kramer: i think i saw her on instagram, she must be a foreigner because i remember her having a flag in her bio
George: Yeah?
Kramer: Yeah... it looked like one of those south american ones, kinda looked like argentina
Jerry: hey george.... a latina... come on now
George: I gotta know her ig kramah! Do you remember her @ ?
Kramer: Yeah sure buddy
*george looks it up on his phone, then looks crestfallen*
Jerry: whats the matter george?
George: Nothin.
Jerry: whaat, does she have an onlyfans or something? Come on george that doesnt mean you cant date, it just means shes.... sex positive
George: Its... its not that jerry
Jerry: whats the matter then, here george let me see her account
George: No
Jerry: George..
*a brief scrum ensues as jerry wrestles away georges phone to look*
Jerry: Kramer thats the TRANS flag shes not a latina! Shes traans
*He looks over at george, who is staring at the floor embarassed*
Jerry: Still george... a gyatt!
>George hits Jerry with his car and puts Jerry in a coma >George has to be Jerry's butler until Jerry gets better >George resents this so he sexually abuses Jerry
>Jerry orders Uber Eats >Jerry is in the bathroom when it arrives but Kramer who is at his apartment answers and pays for the food >Kramer gives the guy a bad tip >All the delivery drivers know each other and blacklist Jerry's apartment
>George learns about crypto from Kramer and buys a scamcoin >He makes a lot of money and brags about it to his coworkers and boss >His boss gives him $20,000 to buy scamcoins >The market crashes and George loses everything including
>Elaine struggles to match with the kind of guys she wants to date on Tinder
>Kramer buys thousands of dollars worth of expired PPE that was overbought for Covid and tries to bring back wearing masks as a fashion statement to get people to buy it
>george stays up all night watching mash reruns >drinks tons of coffee at work because he's tired >pisses in jug in office because mens room is gross from all the yankee players >steinbrenner sees piss jug in george's office and thinks it's sports drink, loves it >tells george he wants him to order enough of that sports drink for entire team >hijinks ensue
Kramer starts selling Chilli in one of those food carts
George eats it and farts during sex "it was that damn chilli! I was rocking and moving and it just came out..."
His girlfriend storms out
Kramer accidentally knocks way too much spice into the chilli
Jerry is getting shit on for being soft by his girlfriend goes to eat at Kramer's truck and eats the tainted chilli
Starts crying and runs off to get milk. gets dumped for not handling the chilli
George's girlfriend takes him back but he gets into a dilemma when she unloads her own fart. "what happened to me was an accident Jerry. She had INTENT. Intent makes all the difference!"
Elaine lmaos at Jerry says she can handle it easily
eats it at work and it sweating and crying from the heat
Peterman thinks it's because of some work incident and causes some kind of drama (this was already done with George loves spicy chicken tho)
>George goes full Chris-chan and molests Estelle >Kramer doesn't kneel for the George Floyd memorial >Jerry accidentally enrolls in Antifa >Elaine becomes a feminist just to capitalise on the movement for fame
George becomes lactose intolerant, but his girlfriend owns a homemade ice cream parlor. He tries to avoid trying it, but she gets insulted, so he tries a few samples.
Jerry finds an old sport coat in his closet that he thought he lost ages ago. Inside is a phone number written on a napkin for a girl he had a one night stand with the last time he wore it. He sets up a date with her, and since he’s last seen her, she lost an arm in a subway accident. He of course cannot live with this and begins the process of ending things tactfully
Kramer and Newman travel to Ohio pretending to be Mormons. It’s time for them to go on their mission, and they get NYC. They go back to their apartments and enjoy the free bikes and stipends they get from the church. That is until the overly friendly and very unnerving mormon version of book man pays them a visit.
Elaine is tasked with editing an erotic novel at work. She gets caught jerking off under her desk and has to go to counseling for sex addict rehabilitation. The therapist is an attractive guy that she hooks up with. She is fired, but steals the copy of the novel on her way out. She leaves it at Jerry’s apartment by mistake. He notices it and flips open the manuscript to a random begins to read it.
Jerry has just broken it off (heh) untactfully with the one arm girl in his apartment when Kramer, Newman, and Mormon book man show up. There is a big commotion in the apartment when Elaine arrives. Everyone is hastily and rudely introduced when Elaine recognizes the one arm girls name. She wrote the erotic novel. Jerry immediately begins an attempt to win back one arm Sally’s affections. Just then, George sprints into the apartment, needing to use the bathoorm. Mormon is in there and George bounces around yelling at him to get out.
George finally gets into the bathroom and as he walks out he is holding the manuscript and reading it.
I’m writing this all on a drunken whim and don’t feel like resolving
Kramer goes to a new gourmet ice cream shop and buys ice cream. Someone inside is being noisy or making annoying sounds or tapping his foot or something like that and he can't stand it so he goes outside to eat it. Just as he's about to take his second bite, a bird shits on it. After hesitating for a moment, kramer decides to eat it anyway because it was gourmet and he spent a lot of money on it. He discovers the bird shit made it taste delicious, so he opens his own competing ice cream stand and collects bird shit to use as his secret ingredient. Business is booming but then jerry's gf of the episode witnesses him collecting bird poop and the secret gets out. Jerry's gf breaks up with him and kramer loses his business but then it turns out the original ice cream store was using bird shit too and newman knew about it the whole time because he brokers bird shit smuggling through the mail the end.
>Kramer finds arguments on Cinemaphile and pretends to be one or both of the parties, replies with insults and generally makes the argument more intense. >George like to make mass reply posts. >Elaine can't solve the Captcha >Jerry gets banned for posting in an off-topic thread and doesn't know what to do with his time. >Puddy replies to posts with "Based" or "Cringe", so much so he begins using them irl.
>Newman becomes a janny >Can tell when it's Jerry posting based on posting style >bans him always >Jerry realizes it's Newman banning him >Has Kramer argue in his defense his posts are on topic >Kramer is instead made a janny, upholds Jerry's bans >Jerry decides he's going to dox Newman, tries to get George or Elaine to drop his dox on their machines so he won't be suspected >Meanwhile George tries to buy a pass, immediately is mocked for paying to post on imageboards >some random anon posts a screencap from when George sloppily ate a sundae at a ball game, turning him into a meme. George gets upsetm
>Elaine finally solves a captcha and makes a post >accidentally uploads a former boyfriend's dickpic instead of a funny reaction image >gets the apartment banned for three days >Kramer and George are angry that there's a ban and are trying to figure out who posted it >still don't know it was Elaine's fault >she tiptoes around certain questions while Kramer is going full Columbo >apparently rangebanned on most boards because of Newman >George hops on IRC to try to get unbanned >G: "THEY KICKED ME OFF OF RIZON, JERRY!" >J: "what's rizon?" >G: "I don't know" *shakes head*
>walking behind a women and speeding up to pass her so not seem like your following her >syncing up with neighbor and constantly running into them making you both paranoid you're following each other >George gets accuased of racism for hating Asians not sticking to the correct side of the footpath
90% of Seinfield and Curb story lines are just Larry David's life rules being dramatized.
Elaine goes to yoga class but the instructor (a middle aged man) keeps getting her to go into somewhat sexual positions and then she tries to catch him leering at the women but he's very careful and it becomes a game of cat and mouse over many classes so she installs cameras or something and it escalates and gets ridiculous
Kramer and Frank go into business together making Frank's famous gabbagool sandwich for online food delivery.
Pitman is obsessed with a gabbagool he had as a kid, and demands Elaine get him a sandwich from all the online food delivery places.
Obviously, Frank's is the one, Elaine doesn't know.
George dates a girl, it doesn't work out explains he must go on a trip for a long time because he is a marine biologist.
Frank and Kramer have an argument and Frank quits.
Elaine demands they keep making them because putt is going crazy without them.
George decides to help for some reason I don't know why.
Girl George dumped becomes a delivery driver and turns up at Kramer's to pick up the gabbagools whilst he's there working.
Serious decline in quality since Frank left, closed down by health department.
why was elaine lying to russel about hating tv shows when she wrote a script before? why is she such a b***h? all the characters have somewhat bad traits but elaine is despicable so often.
All of the characters talk about their grandparents serving in WWII. This fades into an episode set after the Normandy landings. Jerry is a radio guy who does stand up on nights, George is an adjudicant for a captain who hates him, Elaine is a Res Cross nurse and Kramer is a bomber crewman.
>George says something embarrassing during an interview with Stars and Stripes and costs his captain his career >Jerry befriends his Nazi prisoner over their shared love for Superman >Elaine falls for a wounded major, only to realize that he hates smokers, prompting her to attempt to quit and ruining her life >Kramers bomber wing blows up a strategic bridge and halts the German counterattack >The entire division comes under the command of one Captain Newman, who sends them all to the front lines at the end of the episode.
Jerry’s favorite cereal gets discountinued, and tries to get the remaining stock in the supermarkets; Kramer’s friend Bob saca mano knows a guy who is bootlegging them, and will give Jerry half of the cereal, but he has to spy on a woman that turned out to be bob’s ex. Elaine becomes obsessed with the cereal and ends up eating all of it by the end. George has a feud with a guy who always ends up getting the last brand of chips george likes.
Kramer meets Lazlow from GTA and they become shoc-jocks that go "viral" for making fun of Jerry Seinfeld, with a clip of Howard Stern admitting it was a good bit. George bombs terribly as a third mic and Kramer tells him he's good at steering the ship. Jerry says the same thing in the same condescending voice. I don't know how to end it, maybe with a contest that ends with Elaine pretending to frick a moron in church and getting them kicked off the air.
Jerry goes through a Tom Green phase where he paints dicks on his parents car bawdmobile style. The opener is him doing a daddy would you like some sausage bit to a dead audience. Kramer walks in on him rolling around on the floor shooting a fire extinguisher, wearing a dress screaming. George takes the two sets that Jerry was working on from the garbage can and becomes a hit at the local stand up club but has to come up with a third act and bombs horribly. Jerry gets upset with George ruining his material and starts to write that third set himself and gives it to George, who knocks it out of the park, and Jerry goes back to normal.
(Partially based on a true event. Rando reached out to me on LinkedIn to offer up an interview, had Former Student Athlete on his email signature, pure disbelief as I’ve been neeting up for months, bills where stacking up and my entire livelihood rested on a “former student athlete” to give me a job.)
PT1
>George: "Former Student Athlete?" Jerry! I've got rent due in a week and my life depends on a "former student athlete" for an interview! The insult! The lunacy of it all!
(george raises his hands in disbelief, sighing loudly)
>Jerry: Did he at least say what sport he played? I mean, he must be good at it to put it in his e-mail signature?
(Kramer slides into Jerry's living room, ticking and spazzing)
>Kramer: I wouldn't mock him george! My friend Bob Sacamano had something like that on his business card. "Bob Sacamano - A Professional!" Got him a lot of business back in the day!
(Jerry and George look at him confused)
>Jerry: A "professional"? What does Bob do anyways?
(Kramer spergs out, flailing as he makes noises)
>Kramer: Beats me! But he does all right for himself.
(Elaine walks into the scene, greeting the guys)
>Elaine: How's it going boys! Georgie boy! How's the hunt coming along?
(She playfully scowls like a pirate and curls her finger as a hook)
(George looks defeated and shows her the email as Elaine reaches out for it, her eyes widening, a big grin on her face as she SHOVES george away)
>Elaine: "Former Student Athlete"?! *She cackles* I might as well put "Birth Certificate Recipient" in my email signature. (Laughs some more as George sulks deeper)
(Jerry smirks and steps in)
>Jerry: Now, now fellas. You can't judge a man for his....pride in his athletic achievements.
(Kramer nods in agreement and reaches for george's phone)
>Kramer: Say, what does this guy even look like?
(Elaine and Jerry nod in agreement, curious as well)
>Elaine: *excited* right, right, right! We HAVE got to see this "former student athlete"
(She snatches the phone from kramer and begins to frantically look through linkedin all the while George sperging out)
>George: *visibly agitated* hey, HEY! Wait a minute you can't JUST look through a person's phone. It's an invasion of PRIVACY!
(Jerry smirks and looks away, Kramer twitches in agreement)
>Elaine: Oh pshh! I already know about the dating profiles. Samantha, my new assistant, showed it to me. And BY THE WAY? "Marine Biologist"? tsk tsk George....
(Jerry smirks some more and shrugs his shoulders, George couldn't be more embarrassed while Kramer is looking at the phone with Elaine)
>Kramer: THERE! There it is! “Athlete guy”!
(the gang groups up, all awkwardly looking down on the linkedin profile as Elaine, annoyed, struggles to hold the phone up for everyone to see)
(Close up of the phone)
(it's a linkedin picture of Larry David - Former Student Athlete)
*The gang, frustrated still don't know what sport he played, cue ending theme song*
Early Season 17 episode (2006/2007) >Jerry goes on tour, asks Kramer to keep an eye on his apartment while he's gone >Jerry returns and Kramer has opened a Wii Bowling alley in his apartment
I'm noodling on the rest, but like it as a start
>George doesn't wear the wrist srap >breaks Jerry's smart tv >they get an exact replacement model, but can't remember Jerry's Netflix password >Newman knows, of course >will give it to them >...for a price
People always say larry is always right on curb. He attacks a guy for wearing shorts on the plane cause he thinks legs are gross and it comes off as insecure even for larry. Imagine never wearing shorts cause you think legs are gross it's so autistic
Larry is a fricking neurotic weirdo and that's what makes the show so funny. I have never met a person who saw the show and thought Larry was always right
“The economy”
Kramer takes up a new career door dashing but quickly learns he can stack orders from different apps and make more money by taking multiple orders at once.
Meanwhile Elaine is accidentally clipped by a car in traffic and when assisted by the neurotic driver, decides to go with his worst assumptions and fakes a neck injury. The guilt mounts with the excuses.
Jerry is dating a woman who keeps borrowing his car and he can’t keep paying for cabs.
George starts carrying a baseball bat to work after seeing someone get mugged on the sidewalk and consequently becomes incredibly bold and aggressive in public.
Newman has been doing human trafficking for a while now and needs to hide a Cambodian girl in Kramer's apartment.
Jerry and George realize they're dating the same girl who is ENM and poly
Elaine's co-workers try to get her to go to a trivia night and she ruins it by getting the answers ahead of time.
It ends with the cambodian girl and the ENM girlfriend hooking up in the bathroom, only for the cambodian girl to shout out an answer at trivia night.
jery get ipad
I can't go to sleep tonight
George goes into a convenience store, but they don't have what he wants and to avoid looking like a thief he wanders around awkwardly pretending to be shopping for a while before trying to leave, but doing all that gets the clerks suspicious.
That's all I got. I think this every time I go into a gas station.
Just walk out pissed off and in a hurry
while stealing
lol would that be Kramer's strat?
And then George and Jerry try it but George gets spooked by nothing and drops a bunch of glass bottles while running out and Jerry has to pay for it all
>George goes back to the same store with Kramer so he can buy something to prove he's not a thief
>Leave the store
>Kramer pulls out a candy bar he stole and George freaks out
yea, Yeah! There we go!
Dress nice, walk confidently like you work there, and if they greet you, self-assuredly greet them back with perfect dictation, eloquence, and an air of friendliness and sex-havingness. Park your luxury or sports car in the nearest parking space so they can see it. It also helps to be on the phone with someone very important, like a CEO, respected politician, or the Pope. It’s not foolproof and you may occasionally feel anxious, but it should help some.
Lol very relatable. I do this all the time and it finally just got in the habit of walking right out
Better that he and some other dude are waiting for a shipment to come in on some chips with a rare flavor they both want to resell, and are constantly trying to one-up the other while not attracting the attention of the clerk.
George keeps drinking the coffee but it malfunctions and keeps running. He keeps trying to get cups but it spills all over and gets kicked out just when the shipment comes in
>swarm! swarm! swarm!
Literally me at hardware store when they don't have some stupid little thing I need.
>George ends up buying tool he doesn't need, still looks nervous while buying them
>thinks some guy in the paking lot that looked at him for 2 seconds is an undercover cop and following him
>Kramer makes a joke about the cops planting evidence, 20 volt tool batteries with the security tag on them or whatever
>George is checking around and realizes he actually did accidentally steal one of those tiny almost useless keychain measuring tapes
>goes to the hardware store to give it back
>reurn desk refuse to take it because it's something they don't even really inventory
>George put it back and feels better for about 10 seconds
>turns around to see a security guard with his hands on his hips
Fricking autistic zoomer
Whats always missed in these threads is it just becomes putting the characters as we see them in situations involving current things. But the best episodes were taken right from the lives of the writers. Stuff like this works way better than all the blm streamer shit. I think its best to try and find times in our lives when we acted georgish or kramerish etc.
Paul Giamatti as Larry
>jery get uber
>krame get ban from reddit for n word
>gerg get troony gf
>elan get onlyfan
>gerg get troony gf
post-op?
POST-OP!
J: So, George is she pre-op? Post op?
G: I'm not sure
J: you're not sure and you're on the 3rd date?
G: you don't think-
J: oh I think!
G: oh geez *panic*
G: what do I do if *makes a flopping motion with his arm*
*Kramer slides in*
K: *goes and gets a smoked sausage from the fridge* what's up
J: George has a date with a transgender person
K: pre op?
G & J: dunno
K: George you ever here of futanari
G: futa whatee?
K: futanari, it's when-
*apartment intercom buzzes, Jerry answers.*
E: it's me
J: come on
J: I thinks it's very woke of you george
G: bah woke. I'm already broke I don't need woke
K: oh you gotta be woke
*Elaine entere*
J: are you woke?
E: I'm dating a guy black
K: oh she's woke
E: why are you asking me that?
J:George has a date with transgal
E: shut up *pushes Kramer, his smoked sausage hits George in the face*
J: guess you'll need the practice
Not bad would watch
>im dating a guy black
lel
hehe
>She has a penis, Jerry!
>A penis?
>Like a small cute and feminine penis?
>Oh I wish Jerry...
>What, so it's a real man's penis?
>A FULL ON TEN INCHER, JERRY!
>So let me get this straight...
>Here we go...
>Your girlfriend... has a bigger penis than you?
Sadly, those greentexts represent about 10% of this board's output over the last couple years. We need new material.
Newman steals Jerry's uber eats.
Elaine does ASMR streaming.
They already did Elaine ASMR and Jerry and George basically nutted to it
Kramer gets cancelled
Jerry picks up girls by using his namesake, Nobody knows what he looks like but they know his name, George hears this and uses it to pick up women, Meanwhile Kramer does jerry's set as "jerry" so that jerry can go on a date with this girl who seems to keep flaking him. Kramer drops the n bomb on the set, rest writes itself.
Kramer goes on the David Letterman show to clear the air after his most recent public debacle.
jerry loses to george playing madden, blames it on player ratings being wrong
"HOW IS LAWRENCE TAYLOR...A 95 OVERALL!" "HE SHOULD BE A 98....AT LEAST GEORGE, AT LEAST!"
>Kramer gets a black friend
>calls him "my Black person"
>says "you people always say homie is your word, I thought that meant Black person was ours"
>George is lonely
>what's the deal with rising gas prices
>Jerry gets a show in Paris
>finds out there are ISIS members in the audience
>tuns out they are fans
>they want to have him do a show in Syria
>Kramer borrows Jerry's car
>Jerry needs to go out
>Orders an Uber
>Cosmo is approaching
That's gold anon, gold!
Episode with Elain trying to get into film acting but the film she's in flops. Jerry see's this and tries a film career by making a children's movie but that flops also.
With Jerry busy with his film venture, Kramer takes over Jerry's stand up comedy role at the laugh factory.
Elaine gets gaped
Kramer says the "Black person" word
>gerge get WFH job
>jery get cancelled on twitter
>kramer join blm by mistake
>elan hookup with white supremacist
Jerry inspires Kramer to get into standup comedy, but his first gig at the Laugh Factory goes horribly wrong.
Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer attend a weekend technology retreat in the countryside. The retreat promises a digital detox and an opportunity to reconnect with nature, but chaos ensues as the group struggles to adapt to the tech-free environment In the end, the gang returns to their tech-saturated lives with a newfound appreciation for the benefits of technology, however quirky and absurd they may be
new season wen?
george gets mugged, flips out, and pushes somebody else into the alley for the mugger to steal from. He starts to view every person and shady location as a potential mugging, and he hides a bunch of fake wallets on himself.
kramer gets a rodent infestation. He panics, then accepts it and builds little rat doors into his and jerrys door, then goes haywire again. No resolution is offered.
Elaine puts on a little weight (imagined) and goes on a radical diet, then starts giving jerry shit for not following the same radical diet
jerry wins 20 dollars on a scratchie he finds in his jacket pocket, but it expires on the day he tries to cash it in, and him and the bodega clerk get into a israelite-off
>"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW 'SAM' WAS HER DEAD NAME? WHY WAS IT STILL ENGRAVED ON HER DESK PLATE?"
Why would a troony change from a unisex name?
>Why would a troony change from a unisex name?
Why would a troony do anything that makes sense?
Honestly a troony that used to be called Sam (male) and is now called Sam (female) getting angry at George for saying that they hadn't changed their name would work perfectly
Kramer get bitcoin
>BLM riots
>Jerry and gerg giving thumbs up out jerrys appt window
>rock through window
>jerry yels "NO NO NO YOU STUPID Black folk!!!! WE'RE ON YOUR SIIIDE!"
>Kramer leads the march and accidentally burns down the diner
There should be an SCP-like wiki for summaries of back-episodes, that came out since season 9.
The script set on 9/11 would be worth considering for instance.
Season 17, Episode X: The Fork would be an all-time classic would it not?
When would Jerry get iPad?
>so how was the date with what’s his name?
>ummm, it was ok
>just ok?
>wellll...
>come on, out with it
>he’s a coomer, Jerry
>a ‘coomer’??
>yah
>well so what, all men are coomers really. I’m a coomer!
>oh no, not like this
>Kramer’s a coomer!
>oh yeah, Kramer’s a coomer
>see it’s not that bad
>I don’t know, he showed me a lot of weird stuff
>well like what?
>*slow exhale*... you ever seen a trap?
>a trap?
>yeah like a… trans… (makes the ‘mixed’ gesture w hands)
>you mean...?
>oh yeah
>like with all the.... parts?
>yep! aaaall the parts
>yikes
>he’s obsessed with them! he follows them on Instagram, chaturbate, onlyfans.... it’s a real problem!
>I see
>and he’s giving them money! Like it’s not enough to be cooming to them all day, he has to be supporting them financially too?!
>so he’s a coomer AND a simp!
>yes!!
>we’ll take the check
Your mother will die in her sleep tonight.
You're hired
Would watch
Kramer joins the Nation of Islam.
Hmmmm
Someone post the gape past
>George fakes different illnesses to get to work from home
>ACTUALLY gets rare tropical disease that no one believes
>kramer has a side gig selling vax boosters
>hooks George up with remedy
>Jerry gets bumped on train and spills coffee on himself
>he calls her a (bad word)
>Jerry's current gf introduces him to her friend
>it's the (bad word) lady
>he has to pretend he was calling her something else
>accidentally says an even more offensive word
>Elaine does NPC streaming
>George becomes obsessed with it during his quarantines
>after taking Kramer's drug George goes crazy, bursts into Elaine's apartment
Idk how to end it/tie it all together
>pitch a mason jar full of piss at them while firmly holding the jar and letting just the piss loose
it's a little trick I call Jar Holdy Hold
Kramer introduces his new troony girlfriend to the group and they have to figure out how to tell him before he finds out the hard way.
They finally tell him, and he's like "I know".
But it turns out he got all mixed up with the terms and the episode ends with him seeing a penis.
>what is the deal with black people? They're not black, and they're not people!
>George has a moronic kid and names it Jerry
>Jerry has to pretend not to find this insulting
Instead of George make it Kenny Banya
George: she had a gyatt jerry, a GYATT!
Jerry: a gyatt? Are you sure
George: Ohhh yea, she was double cheeked up in a pair of lulu lemons jerry!
Jerry: Both cheeks?
George: Two cheeks! It was amazing
*Kramer opens the door*
*Applause*
Kramer: Hey are you guys talking about that woman who was walking down by the post office earlier?
George: Yea kramah what about her?
Kramer: i think i saw her on instagram, she must be a foreigner because i remember her having a flag in her bio
George: Yeah?
Kramer: Yeah... it looked like one of those south american ones, kinda looked like argentina
Jerry: hey george.... a latina... come on now
George: I gotta know her ig kramah! Do you remember her @ ?
Kramer: Yeah sure buddy
*george looks it up on his phone, then looks crestfallen*
Jerry: whats the matter george?
George: Nothin.
Jerry: whaat, does she have an onlyfans or something? Come on george that doesnt mean you cant date, it just means shes.... sex positive
George: Its... its not that jerry
Jerry: whats the matter then, here george let me see her account
George: No
Jerry: George..
*a brief scrum ensues as jerry wrestles away georges phone to look*
Jerry: Kramer thats the TRANS flag shes not a latina! Shes traans
*He looks over at george, who is staring at the floor embarassed*
Jerry: Still george... a gyatt!
Would watch
>George hits Jerry with his car and puts Jerry in a coma
>George has to be Jerry's butler until Jerry gets better
>George resents this so he sexually abuses Jerry
Nothing.
Jerry gets a 16 year old girlfriend.
>Jerry orders Uber Eats
>Jerry is in the bathroom when it arrives but Kramer who is at his apartment answers and pays for the food
>Kramer gives the guy a bad tip
>All the delivery drivers know each other and blacklist Jerry's apartment
>George learns about crypto from Kramer and buys a scamcoin
>He makes a lot of money and brags about it to his coworkers and boss
>His boss gives him $20,000 to buy scamcoins
>The market crashes and George loses everything including
>Elaine struggles to match with the kind of guys she wants to date on Tinder
>Kramer buys thousands of dollars worth of expired PPE that was overbought for Covid and tries to bring back wearing masks as a fashion statement to get people to buy it
Would watch
>george stays up all night watching mash reruns
>drinks tons of coffee at work because he's tired
>pisses in jug in office because mens room is gross from all the yankee players
>steinbrenner sees piss jug in george's office and thinks it's sports drink, loves it
>tells george he wants him to order enough of that sports drink for entire team
>hijinks ensue
Elaine realises she's fricked every guy in New York (Including Kramer) and feels lost
George points out they haven't had sex
She just shrugs, laugh track ensues
Episode ends as Jerry points out she hasn't had sex with women yet, to which Elaine smirks at the camera
episode name The Chilli
Kramer starts selling Chilli in one of those food carts
George eats it and farts during sex "it was that damn chilli! I was rocking and moving and it just came out..."
His girlfriend storms out
Kramer accidentally knocks way too much spice into the chilli
Jerry is getting shit on for being soft by his girlfriend goes to eat at Kramer's truck and eats the tainted chilli
Starts crying and runs off to get milk. gets dumped for not handling the chilli
George's girlfriend takes him back but he gets into a dilemma when she unloads her own fart. "what happened to me was an accident Jerry. She had INTENT. Intent makes all the difference!"
Elaine lmaos at Jerry says she can handle it easily
eats it at work and it sweating and crying from the heat
Peterman thinks it's because of some work incident and causes some kind of drama (this was already done with George loves spicy chicken tho)
we could punch it up a bit
Not bad would watch
Learn how to spell "chili," moron.
more farts and i'm sold
your constant use of "chilli" has me thinking about that cartoon dog
>she has a feminine penis Jerry!
Any time Kramer isn't on the screen everyone should ask "where's Kramer?".
Kramer died on the way back to his home ghetto
>kramer is recast, played by Tig Notaro
KEK
that dyke was terrible on Star Trek: Nigscovery
George finds out his older brother was given up for adoption and is a guy named Larry David. Jerry and Larry are taken to Auschwitz.
>George goes full Chris-chan and molests Estelle
>Kramer doesn't kneel for the George Floyd memorial
>Jerry accidentally enrolls in Antifa
>Elaine becomes a feminist just to capitalise on the movement for fame
George becomes lactose intolerant, but his girlfriend owns a homemade ice cream parlor. He tries to avoid trying it, but she gets insulted, so he tries a few samples.
Jerry finds an old sport coat in his closet that he thought he lost ages ago. Inside is a phone number written on a napkin for a girl he had a one night stand with the last time he wore it. He sets up a date with her, and since he’s last seen her, she lost an arm in a subway accident. He of course cannot live with this and begins the process of ending things tactfully
Kramer and Newman travel to Ohio pretending to be Mormons. It’s time for them to go on their mission, and they get NYC. They go back to their apartments and enjoy the free bikes and stipends they get from the church. That is until the overly friendly and very unnerving mormon version of book man pays them a visit.
Elaine is tasked with editing an erotic novel at work. She gets caught jerking off under her desk and has to go to counseling for sex addict rehabilitation. The therapist is an attractive guy that she hooks up with. She is fired, but steals the copy of the novel on her way out. She leaves it at Jerry’s apartment by mistake. He notices it and flips open the manuscript to a random begins to read it.
Jerry has just broken it off (heh) untactfully with the one arm girl in his apartment when Kramer, Newman, and Mormon book man show up. There is a big commotion in the apartment when Elaine arrives. Everyone is hastily and rudely introduced when Elaine recognizes the one arm girls name. She wrote the erotic novel. Jerry immediately begins an attempt to win back one arm Sally’s affections. Just then, George sprints into the apartment, needing to use the bathoorm. Mormon is in there and George bounces around yelling at him to get out.
George finally gets into the bathroom and as he walks out he is holding the manuscript and reading it.
I’m writing this all on a drunken whim and don’t feel like resolving
That s fricking awesome. Keep drinking dude
breddy gud
george furiously masterbates to a pic of his ex gf while crying and smelling a piece of her clothing that she left behind
>its a jerry slips into the washroom to add 2 shots of vodka to his beer while his kidneys ache to hide his alcoholism from his friends episode
Kramer goes to a new gourmet ice cream shop and buys ice cream. Someone inside is being noisy or making annoying sounds or tapping his foot or something like that and he can't stand it so he goes outside to eat it. Just as he's about to take his second bite, a bird shits on it. After hesitating for a moment, kramer decides to eat it anyway because it was gourmet and he spent a lot of money on it. He discovers the bird shit made it taste delicious, so he opens his own competing ice cream stand and collects bird shit to use as his secret ingredient. Business is booming but then jerry's gf of the episode witnesses him collecting bird poop and the secret gets out. Jerry's gf breaks up with him and kramer loses his business but then it turns out the original ice cream store was using bird shit too and newman knew about it the whole time because he brokers bird shit smuggling through the mail the end.
>kramer wears maga hat
>Kramer finds arguments on Cinemaphile and pretends to be one or both of the parties, replies with insults and generally makes the argument more intense.
>George like to make mass reply posts.
>Elaine can't solve the Captcha
>Jerry gets banned for posting in an off-topic thread and doesn't know what to do with his time.
>Puddy replies to posts with "Based" or "Cringe", so much so he begins using them irl.
replies to posts with "Based" or "Cringe", so much so he begins using them irl.
based
>Newman becomes a janny
>Can tell when it's Jerry posting based on posting style
>bans him always
>Jerry realizes it's Newman banning him
>Has Kramer argue in his defense his posts are on topic
>Kramer is instead made a janny, upholds Jerry's bans
>Jerry decides he's going to dox Newman, tries to get George or Elaine to drop his dox on their machines so he won't be suspected
>Meanwhile George tries to buy a pass, immediately is mocked for paying to post on imageboards
>some random anon posts a screencap from when George sloppily ate a sundae at a ball game, turning him into a meme. George gets upsetm
>Elaine finally solves a captcha and makes a post
>accidentally uploads a former boyfriend's dickpic instead of a funny reaction image
>gets the apartment banned for three days
>Kramer and George are angry that there's a ban and are trying to figure out who posted it
>still don't know it was Elaine's fault
>she tiptoes around certain questions while Kramer is going full Columbo
>apparently rangebanned on most boards because of Newman
>George hops on IRC to try to get unbanned
>G: "THEY KICKED ME OFF OF RIZON, JERRY!"
>J: "what's rizon?"
>G: "I don't know" *shakes head*
larry david looks a bit like godard here
>walking behind a women and speeding up to pass her so not seem like your following her
>syncing up with neighbor and constantly running into them making you both paranoid you're following each other
>George gets accuased of racism for hating Asians not sticking to the correct side of the footpath
90% of Seinfield and Curb story lines are just Larry David's life rules being dramatized.
Elaine and Jerry go on a double date, and both get stood up
Kramer enters a forward roll contest
Kramer finds wine bottles on the street and when he goes to drink them it turns out they were piss bottles.
“Jerry, not only was there pee in those wine bottles, the man was severely dehydrated.”
“You didn’t stop at the one bottle?”
Elaine goes to yoga class but the instructor (a middle aged man) keeps getting her to go into somewhat sexual positions and then she tries to catch him leering at the women but he's very careful and it becomes a game of cat and mouse over many classes so she installs cameras or something and it escalates and gets ridiculous
bump
>imagine a boy at 12 with male pattern baldness ..
Neumann becomes trans
Kramer and Frank go into business together making Frank's famous gabbagool sandwich for online food delivery.
Pitman is obsessed with a gabbagool he had as a kid, and demands Elaine get him a sandwich from all the online food delivery places.
Obviously, Frank's is the one, Elaine doesn't know.
George dates a girl, it doesn't work out explains he must go on a trip for a long time because he is a marine biologist.
Frank and Kramer have an argument and Frank quits.
Elaine demands they keep making them because putt is going crazy without them.
George decides to help for some reason I don't know why.
Girl George dumped becomes a delivery driver and turns up at Kramer's to pick up the gabbagools whilst he's there working.
Serious decline in quality since Frank left, closed down by health department.
why was elaine lying to russel about hating tv shows when she wrote a script before? why is she such a b***h? all the characters have somewhat bad traits but elaine is despicable so often.
george and elain have an affair and jerry is not ok with it
I get to have sex with Elaine.
This except with me and she's wearing pajamas
elaine is so cute when she goes a little insane
All of the characters talk about their grandparents serving in WWII. This fades into an episode set after the Normandy landings. Jerry is a radio guy who does stand up on nights, George is an adjudicant for a captain who hates him, Elaine is a Res Cross nurse and Kramer is a bomber crewman.
>George says something embarrassing during an interview with Stars and Stripes and costs his captain his career
>Jerry befriends his Nazi prisoner over their shared love for Superman
>Elaine falls for a wounded major, only to realize that he hates smokers, prompting her to attempt to quit and ruining her life
>Kramers bomber wing blows up a strategic bridge and halts the German counterattack
>The entire division comes under the command of one Captain Newman, who sends them all to the front lines at the end of the episode.
Seinfield get a latino friend who is always having sex with asian women, the joke is that people always walk in on him fricking another asian women.
homie what in the actual frick is that hairstyle lmao I'm know you are a clown Larry but c'mon
hes just sporting a heihachi
Jerry’s favorite cereal gets discountinued, and tries to get the remaining stock in the supermarkets; Kramer’s friend Bob saca mano knows a guy who is bootlegging them, and will give Jerry half of the cereal, but he has to spy on a woman that turned out to be bob’s ex. Elaine becomes obsessed with the cereal and ends up eating all of it by the end. George has a feud with a guy who always ends up getting the last brand of chips george likes.
Kramer meets Lazlow from GTA and they become shoc-jocks that go "viral" for making fun of Jerry Seinfeld, with a clip of Howard Stern admitting it was a good bit. George bombs terribly as a third mic and Kramer tells him he's good at steering the ship. Jerry says the same thing in the same condescending voice. I don't know how to end it, maybe with a contest that ends with Elaine pretending to frick a moron in church and getting them kicked off the air.
Jerry goes through a Tom Green phase where he paints dicks on his parents car bawdmobile style. The opener is him doing a daddy would you like some sausage bit to a dead audience. Kramer walks in on him rolling around on the floor shooting a fire extinguisher, wearing a dress screaming. George takes the two sets that Jerry was working on from the garbage can and becomes a hit at the local stand up club but has to come up with a third act and bombs horribly. Jerry gets upset with George ruining his material and starts to write that third set himself and gives it to George, who knocks it out of the park, and Jerry goes back to normal.
Jerry meets a girl in central park with huge breasts and starts dating her and it turns out she's actually 16
THEY AREN'T RIPE
Elaine dates Pierce Brosnan and starts to put on weight
(Partially based on a true event. Rando reached out to me on LinkedIn to offer up an interview, had Former Student Athlete on his email signature, pure disbelief as I’ve been neeting up for months, bills where stacking up and my entire livelihood rested on a “former student athlete” to give me a job.)
PT1
>George: "Former Student Athlete?" Jerry! I've got rent due in a week and my life depends on a "former student athlete" for an interview! The insult! The lunacy of it all!
(george raises his hands in disbelief, sighing loudly)
>Jerry: Did he at least say what sport he played? I mean, he must be good at it to put it in his e-mail signature?
(Kramer slides into Jerry's living room, ticking and spazzing)
>Kramer: I wouldn't mock him george! My friend Bob Sacamano had something like that on his business card. "Bob Sacamano - A Professional!" Got him a lot of business back in the day!
(Jerry and George look at him confused)
>Jerry: A "professional"? What does Bob do anyways?
(Kramer spergs out, flailing as he makes noises)
>Kramer: Beats me! But he does all right for himself.
(Elaine walks into the scene, greeting the guys)
>Elaine: How's it going boys! Georgie boy! How's the hunt coming along?
(She playfully scowls like a pirate and curls her finger as a hook)
(George looks defeated and shows her the email as Elaine reaches out for it, her eyes widening, a big grin on her face as she SHOVES george away)
>Elaine: GET OUT!
(Elaine in disbelief)
PT 2
>Elaine: "Former Student Athlete"?! *She cackles* I might as well put "Birth Certificate Recipient" in my email signature. (Laughs some more as George sulks deeper)
(Jerry smirks and steps in)
>Jerry: Now, now fellas. You can't judge a man for his....pride in his athletic achievements.
(Kramer nods in agreement and reaches for george's phone)
>Kramer: Say, what does this guy even look like?
(Elaine and Jerry nod in agreement, curious as well)
>Elaine: *excited* right, right, right! We HAVE got to see this "former student athlete"
(She snatches the phone from kramer and begins to frantically look through linkedin all the while George sperging out)
>George: *visibly agitated* hey, HEY! Wait a minute you can't JUST look through a person's phone. It's an invasion of PRIVACY!
(Jerry smirks and looks away, Kramer twitches in agreement)
>Elaine: Oh pshh! I already know about the dating profiles. Samantha, my new assistant, showed it to me. And BY THE WAY? "Marine Biologist"? tsk tsk George....
(Jerry smirks some more and shrugs his shoulders, George couldn't be more embarrassed while Kramer is looking at the phone with Elaine)
>Kramer: THERE! There it is! “Athlete guy”!
(the gang groups up, all awkwardly looking down on the linkedin profile as Elaine, annoyed, struggles to hold the phone up for everyone to see)
(Close up of the phone)
(it's a linkedin picture of Larry David - Former Student Athlete)
*The gang, frustrated still don't know what sport he played, cue ending theme song*
Early Season 17 episode (2006/2007)
>Jerry goes on tour, asks Kramer to keep an eye on his apartment while he's gone
>Jerry returns and Kramer has opened a Wii Bowling alley in his apartment
I'm noodling on the rest, but like it as a start
>George doesn't wear the wrist srap
>breaks Jerry's smart tv
>they get an exact replacement model, but can't remember Jerry's Netflix password
>Newman knows, of course
>will give it to them
>...for a price
You're not funny either.
the jerk store called
elaine gets gaped
People always say larry is always right on curb. He attacks a guy for wearing shorts on the plane cause he thinks legs are gross and it comes off as insecure even for larry. Imagine never wearing shorts cause you think legs are gross it's so autistic
Larry is constantly hypocritical in that show.
Larry is a fricking neurotic weirdo and that's what makes the show so funny. I have never met a person who saw the show and thought Larry was always right
You get up, you go to work. That's a show right there.
could you imagine if Larry and David were on the same show
“The economy”
Kramer takes up a new career door dashing but quickly learns he can stack orders from different apps and make more money by taking multiple orders at once.
Meanwhile Elaine is accidentally clipped by a car in traffic and when assisted by the neurotic driver, decides to go with his worst assumptions and fakes a neck injury. The guilt mounts with the excuses.
Jerry is dating a woman who keeps borrowing his car and he can’t keep paying for cabs.
George starts carrying a baseball bat to work after seeing someone get mugged on the sidewalk and consequently becomes incredibly bold and aggressive in public.
Finish it how you like.
Newman has been doing human trafficking for a while now and needs to hide a Cambodian girl in Kramer's apartment.
Jerry and George realize they're dating the same girl who is ENM and poly
Elaine's co-workers try to get her to go to a trivia night and she ruins it by getting the answers ahead of time.
It ends with the cambodian girl and the ENM girlfriend hooking up in the bathroom, only for the cambodian girl to shout out an answer at trivia night.