>Ok I'll be in your movie, but I have some stipulations.
>First, I want a female love interest who is 20 years younger than me. I have to wear tight fitting clothes and have at least 2 shirtless moments. My biceps must be visible at all times so short sleeves are a must. I must be portrayed as a sex icon despite being a bald 50 year old man. No male actor over 6 feet tall should be cast, and if you must cast them they must be never be in the same frame as me. At least two characters must be shown drinking Teremana tequila. During promotion for this movie you must never address me using my former WWE ringname as I wish to distance myself from my former white trash fanbase. However I reserve the right to make appearances at WWE events if it should benefit me. I want a star studded cast to act in supporting roles. Oh also I want 10 points on the net.
You forgot:
>No character I play can ever lose a fight.
>If a character I play has to, for purposes of that plot, not win a fight for any reason they must draw with their opponent or be forced to exist that fight after having landed an equal or greater amount of blows on their opponent than they received.
>Yes, I'm completely serious.
How did the kill the Scorpion King when he was a villain?
>*surpasses arnie easily*
Will you vote for him in the 2024 elections? He'll be the first man to run as both democrat and republican
he can't even get himself cheered against some lisping nepobabby homosexual
dwayne fricking SUCKS
uhhh... arnold was a millionaire before he even acted. he was a bricklayer and advertised it as 'european brick laying' made a fortune
>hollywood homosexuals lie about their backgrounds
yes, anon, we know
the "first thing" rock did with his mummy returns paycheck was "buy a hot meal". In 2001, when he filmed it, he was already a massive star with millions in the bank from WWF
What is this silly rivalry? Rock will never reach the cultural relevance of peak Arnie.
yeah but who cares about cultural relevance. im just looking at which movies are better
If peak arnie shills a tequila, it'll be a household product the next week
i miss the old rock. before he became all family friendly and lame. he was good in DOOM
what if the last 20 years was all just a huge work for his corporate sellout character and we're all being played
The Rundown and Walking Tall were kino as well
yeah i like both of those
litty
In Baywatch his character saves himself from a dangerous situation and Alexandra Mammario's character verbally expresses that fact so there can be no chance that any audience member might believe The Rock needed to be saved by anyone else.
>R-rated Baywatch produced by the Rock
>cast Daddario
>zero breasts, only swinging dicks
holy shit the female villain was awful. i swear every 5 minutes she had to say some dumb shit about if she were a man
You now realize everything the rock does is demo-maxxing
Making it r rated attracts the 17-25 year old demo
Making a baywatch reboot attracts the boomer demo
Making it have no nudity allows parents to take their kids
Having prebog zac efron attracts the female demo etc etc
His entire being is a polished product
>First, I want a female love interest
Yep, definitely not him.
He wants an implied love interest, aka a “beard”. He doesn’t actually want to shoot intimate scenes
A lot of actors are like this, they want to be portrayed as ladies men but they have no chemistry with women so they just shot a scene with him waking up while a beautiful woman is sleeping next to him.
>director yells "cut!"
>he acts like howie mandel after being forced to shake someone's hand
And the women are always "maxim" hot, I don't know how to describe it. Fake breasts, blonde, tight bodies. Basically what they think every man would like.
>and still gives his ass up for roles
Out of sheer boredom I decided to watch Black Adam again and I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it.
Its still got the annoying kid and the lame music but it is a pretty solid comic book movie.
Certainly a lot more compelling than the marvel slop.
Brosnan still the best part of the movie.
Black Adam is weird as hell because it has a really big ending, and then an extra 30 minutes of bullshit where they gotta kill Satan real quick.
>"So interesting story actually, in 1998 I almost visited my first In-n-out burger, but I only had two bucks in my pocket at the time and I was struggling to pay rent. But I told myself, one day I'm going to be rich enough to buy a double double with cheese and grilled onions and here I am."
>*takes out a double double from his back pocket*
>"reaaaally?"
kek did that happen actually? I skipped the rock on rogan's podcast because he's one of the fakest human beings on planet earth.
No, he told a story about how he almost became an MMA fighter. He steered clear of anything slightly controversial that Rogan brought up and refrained from revealing his stances on anything political . The consensus was that he was well coached to the point of being soulless
Sounds about right, yep.
my favorite part of that interview was when Joe attempted to low-key shill for his sponsor, Elon
>"Cybertruck? What's that, Joe?"
It was so fake and forced, I had an audible chuckle
One thing I don't miss about roofing is the guy who would listen to JRE on speaker all day. I always feel uncomfortable after listening to him speak about anything
Even without considering the controversy surrounding musk, the rock is the type of guy to approach buying a truck by weighing the benefits of their association with manliness and self sufficiency while also being associated with conservative republicans. I bet he wished he could freeze time whenever he wants to call his publicist or poll the audience
>>Ok I'll be in your movie,
Not accurate
They're almost always his own movies.
My favourite is the one where he gets all misty eyed and recounts how when he was a teenager he'd steal a snickers bar from this store once a week for a whole year, and he'd mean mug the cashier and not even try to hide the fact he's shoplifting. So he goes back to the store 20 or 30 years later as a millionaire, picks up every snickers they have, pays for them all and then tells the cashier to give them out for free.
And he tells this story like everyone is supposed to go "What a life you've lived! What a guy!".
Ah the masked Snickers ad
He’s actually Telly from the movie Kids
How is this different from the stipulations Arnold and Sly used to have?
I can't really blame him. What's he doing wrong
>Me straight arming your gay ass
Check em
Frick you and your anti-rock attitudes.
Take this homosexual back, he's ruining WWE
He’s somehow worse than Hogan