>Our school has four houses:
>The house that represents courage, friendship, bravery, all the obvious good guy traits;
> the house that is sorta cool but irrelevant;
> the house that is girly and has no other traits;
>and the house that believes in uncompromising racial superiority and genociding halfbreeds
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Last one sounds cool
Best thing is the way Rowling established the houses in the first book, they had potentials. Gryffindor was for brave morons, Ravenclaw for nerds who love studying, Hufflepuff was for patient people who always think with a clear head, and Slytherin was for opportunists. Then she pretty much threw all of this out the window by the end of the first book and said frick it, Gryffindor = good guys, Slytherin = nazi c**ts, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff = lol who the frick cares
thats because this is what people wanna see
they want to see the radical c**ts slaughter each other, not the moderate majority who drinks tea and talks about best gardening practices
so was the actual target audience that brainless?
I started reading Harry Potter when I was like 12, then re-read them when I was 16, and both times it bothered me how painfully one-dimensional the entire house system was portrayed. It didnt help Snape was portrayed as a good guy last minute for the excuse of there are good people in Slytherin too, while he was pretty much a jerk in the first six books
Dont forget slughorn
I always bring up Slughorn as a better (and actually only good) example of a Slytherin character who isnt a cliché jerk. Doesnt change the fact normies still consider Snape as the ultimate hero, despite who he was a grudge wielding bitter frick for six books
this. I mean Cho Chang is Ravenclaw but at no point in the books does she do anything that makes her seem smarter than the rest of the class. She seems more like a Gryffindor student tbh
out of all the prominent characters only Luna was Ravenclaw, and she was a big moron
Luna is the sort of person that would be writing weird Internet posts on eldritch lore that others, like protagonists in a mystery, would be reading to have some vague clue about what they are dealing with. She is a very good Ravenclaw. So good it was probably an accident on JK's part.
Luna would definitely post on /x/
Luna was inquisitive. She wanted the truth, not just bookworming the official version.
To be fair most sorting didnt make any sense. Hermione was so obviously Ravenclaw. Cedric was described as a genius and prodigy in the books and he was Hufflepuff, in the same book where Hufflepuff is described as a house for idiots. Dumbledore was Gryffindor iirc and he wanted to genocide the muggles in his youth. Ron was an opportunist lot of the times in the books, riding on his few seconds of fame both in GoF and OotP, which makes him kinda Slytherin. Luna and Gilderoy Lockhart were Ravenclaw, but Luna was a good hearted moron (Hufflepuff) and Lockhart was spineless opportunist (Slytherin). James was in Gryffindor and he was the school bully. Peter Pettigrew was in Gryffindor and he backstabbed his friends out of fear. The only sorting that made sense was Slughorn. He was Slytherin and he was a big opportunist, but wasn't a complete douchebag, and sided with Dumbledore instead of Voldemort, he was probably the only good example of a Slytherin who actually isn't a backstabbing bastard. Snape was a joke, he became a Death Eater due to getting rejected by his oneitis crush then ran to Dumbledore and pledged loyalty when said crush was in danger.
think Dumbledore was actually in Ravenclaw, think its mentioned in the last book with Harry reading the biography of Dumbledore and being surprised
wikia says he was in Gryffindor
must've misremembered or picked that up from a fanfiction and thought it was canon
james wasn't the school bully, he just kept snapecel in check when snapecel started being creepy and giving girls the ick
no, he constantly got detention with Sirius because they bullied everyone they didnt like
it was dead on in OotP, when Snape makes Harry reorganize old papers and all of them were just detention lists
that's snapecel revisionist history
next you're gonna start crying about muh six gorillion death eaters getting their souls sucked out, we dindu nuffin honest
They were also infamous pranksters like Fred and George. They did bully Snape but he's literally a self-hating israeli Nazi youth so
Hufflepuff is the WEEDSTONERS house.
Sounds chill
The Hufflepuff Common Room is accessed through a pile of barrels that is in a recess a little past the still life painting that is the entrance to the kitchens, to reach it, you enter a door to the right of the main staircase in the Entrance Hall and down a staircase there. Although it is therefore at dungeon level, it is “as dissimilar as possible” from the Potions classroom. The common room is decorated in House colours, which in this case means that there are lots of yellow hangings; like Gryffindor Tower, it has a lot of comfortable armchairs. There are “little underground tunnels leading to the dormitories, all of which have perfectly round doors, like barrel tops” .One gains entry to the Hufflepuff common room by tapping out the rhythm to the name “Helga Hufflepuff” on a stack of barrels. Tapping incorrectly or on the wrong barrel will cause one of the barrels to spill vinegar all over the person trying to enter.
>have entrances all across campus to go to the dorm room because you want to smoke weed and not get caught
>can constantly get food from the kitchen whenever
IDK man they're OP in many ways
Also canonically, OP, hufflepuffs don't exaggerate how skilled they are because they know they'd only hurt the Gryffindors pride, make the Ravenclaws feel less clever, or cause the Slytherins to feel inferior.
Puff is the house of rejects that got powercreep after majority of HP's audience (lonely women) related to it.
Their emblem is a badger, something that would absolutely destroy the three other animals, the power has always been there
Your picture is an American badger, the emblem is of a European badger
All badgers are violent bastards
is their common room in the Shire or wtf?
Yes, literally. In exchange for not being a meme house they get supremely comfy digs. Also they're "super lazy" so they have magic ways to get to class that other houses aren't allowed to use.
>Also they're "super lazy" so they have magic ways to get to class that other houses aren't allowed to use.
What the frick is this anon talking about
>DUDE!
>MALE!
funniest thing I’ve ever seen posted here
kek
You go to the house who's value you like more
Hermione is smart but cares more about being brave and standing up for what she believes in
by this logic Pettigrew valued bravery yet betrayed his only friends without hesitation
To be fair they are judge when their 11
He could have just become a shitty person
>To be fair they are judge when their 11
Rowling got that from the German school system, where at the end of elementary school (year four) the teachers get to decide which of the three types of secondary school a student continues to:
Gymnasium/Ravenclaw, a more accademic curriculum that's supposed to prepare students for university.
Realschule/Slytherin, a somewhat more basic curriculum that includes lessons in practical skills and craftsmanship and preperes students for higher positions as specialized craftsmen.
Hauptschule/Gryffindor, which offers basic education for students who are supposed to become part of the general workforce.
There's also a branch of special needs education (Hufflepuff) for students who proof unsuited for even basic education levels.
>OI SNAPE
>EYEING LILY AGAIN
>CAME INSIDE HER LAST NOIGHT
>YEH DAS ROIGHT
>EAT SHIT YA POOFTA
>Chang
that's all it takes
Nerds who love studying rarely measure up, this is known
In real life Ravenclaws would have a monopoly on magical inventions, wizardly literature, music, everything. Rowling literally didn't know what to do with her own invention and every serious lover of learning was in a different house. Luna was her closest try at representing a young philosopher.
They would be on WizardchanCinemaphile pissing their life away. Rowling gets it.
>jumps on harry's dick the moment her chad bf croaks
Should be Slytherin
>Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff = lol who the frick cares
Kek, accurate.
original outline of the book she wanted all of the characters, with neville being a close friend of theirs, to be in different houses with Harry being in Slytherin
but she wasn't a competent enough writer to manage this
that sounds like a cooler idea, I'd have harry be initially an outcast amongst the Slytherin before forming his own faction in the house to rival Malfoy
Gryffindor: Brave, Powerful, Righteous
Ravenclaw: Intelligent, Resourceful, Loyal
Hufflepuff: People who still celebrate caturday on /b/
Slytherin: Narcissistic, Manipulative, Relentless
>Hufflepuff: People who still celebrate caturday on /b/
They probably have the most comprehensive meme archives on campus, sounds highly baste if you ask me
there should be a fifth house for the wierdos, like a special ed house. i guess seamus would've been a good candidate for it
literally hufflepuff
They literally just took any weirdos and morons and added them to the staff (Hagrid, the hall monitor guy)
Slytherin was right all along. Rowling knew this.
I'd like to believe that, but it seems there is nothing in-universe that confirms that the AMOUNT of magical blood matters. I'm still waiting to be convinced that intermingling has any impact on magical potency.
Hagrid in CoS says most wizards and witches are half-bloods, because if wizards/witches didnt start breeding with muggles they would've gone extinct
Being a mud definitely matters because then you can potentially produce more mud kids. Sure muggles can pop out a mud by chance once in awhile but that’s definitely how the first wizards came to be in the first place.
Mera wise mudbloods /muggleborns are mostly the results of squibs, non-magical people born to magical families who disowned them, living normal lives and the magic genes or whatever popping up again further down the line though this isn't generally known info and they just think it happens.
Half-bloods are people with one wizard and one muggle parents. It's considered better mostly because there's still history and family stuff connected to them.
In a world where one group of people has access to magic powers and another doesn't, racism is 100% correct.
did you even read the books
the amount of mudbloods is a fraction of the school population compared to people with magic parents and muggles already make up the majority of the world pop
wrong post meant for
Wasted
ravenclaw is for furries and trannies
Who else Slytherin irl?
This Russian girl looks like Mary Jane, they shoulda cast her in Spider-Man instead of zendaya mutt
without slytherin hogwarts would look like berkeley
Full of Cho Changs?
The book is written from Harry's perspective. Of course it's one dimensional, the kid's moronic.
>Of course it's one dimensional, the kid's moronic
I kek'd pretty loudly
>the school has a scoring system
>the house with the most points at the end of the school term wins
>headmaster just gives gryffindor points at the end to win
why was this allowed?
Dumbledore has dirt on all the teachers, they dont have the balls to speak against him
>the country has free elections
>the party with most control defines the narrative
>define any talking points from other party as "hate speech"
>win elections
why was this allowed?
Well setting aside that it was established in book one that Snape favored his house and blatantly would grant points to them and dock other houses, while the other house leaders tried to be impartial. It was likely that Dumbledore did it to avoid lawsuits and inquiries. Taking advantage of Harry and Hermione's muggle guardians and Ron's desperate for recognition attitude.
He is MAGA
so in other words, a honest version of society? we all know who the winners are and who the losers are, at least they're honest about it
Slytherin has the best common room.
>big ass common room under the lake with atmosphere
>meanwhile Gryffindor has some ass tower with a tiny common room and small bedrooms
>Ravenclaw is described the same in the books, having the other tower for common room
>Hufflepuff is next to the kitchen, actually based if you wanna sneak out to grab some snack in the middle of the night, and the elves would be happy to make you food because they are masochists
who wins? aquaworld view with all the bizarre water monsters swimming by the windows, or getting all kind of sweet shit in the middle of the night?
not writing/filming the other common rooms more was a crime
Ravenclaw common room is described in the seventh book
Hufflepuff common room was never described, only the location was revealed in the fourth book (it's next to the kitchen, other side of the basement compared to the Potions class and Slytherin common room)
>the elves would be happy to make you food because they are masochists
As well as serve your other needs which you start to experience when puberty hits.
Comfy.
>Helga Hufflepuff could have made her house all about 'Hustle, Loyalty and Respect', a true Familia that protects its own, picking a cool animal like a grizzly bear
>prefers to become the 'last guy to be picked for the team' special need kids house and a take a badger as their animal
Sheesh, she had no rizz fr.
I was thinking the other day that we literally got the most vanilla PoV we could've gotten. I'd kill to get a child of a Death Eater perspective of life at Hogwarts. Did Voldy do what he did because he's simply pure evil? Or did muggles and half bloods really did conspire to stifle and persecute purebloods/magical folk?
Either way a Slytherin PoV would've been cracked.
I always assumed Tom Riddle was either bullied or molested in the orphanage, but then Rowling the hack she is came up with some nonsense in an interview "he is not capable of love because he was conceived while his dad was under the effect of love potion" I dont know if she actually said it but it's way too Rowling like for fake news
I think it’s really fricking stupid that they never explained his hatred of Muggles being born from the fact that he grew up in the middle of WW2 London and had shells being dropped on him throughout his childhood. And to be fair, it’s not as ridiculous to be a supremacist when your race is literally magic.
I mean I guess his hatred stems from being abandoned by muggle father. And learning about his lineage to Slytherin, who also hated muggles and muggleborns.
It's said because he's the product of a forced relationship (love potion) he himself cannot feel or understand love. So he was fricked mentally from the get-go, the muggles didn't have much agency
you'd think they'd ban love potions after this incident
Most wizards can identify someone under the effect of a love potion pretty handily. Merope Gaunt practically kidnapped Tom Riddle Jr and kept him entranced in a predominantly muggle dwelling. Only reason she was able to get away with it.
Merope was essentially a feral child who never interacted with the outside world beyond her inbred Appalachian-type family; she didn't know any better.
The unfortunate implication that rape babies are inherently evil is pretty funny though
>Or did muggles and half bloods really did conspire to stifle and persecute purebloods/magical folk?
Tom just wants power and prestige, everything else is dressing.
Grindelwald is the true champion of wizardkind.
Writing (official) edgy fanfiction would have been a much better direction than fantastic flops, I don't think she thought the universe was deep enough to justify it when in reality no one would have cared and that's what the nerds wanted
JK release the 800 page Theodore Nott book, I don't care about your English boomer politics or even the fact that you aren't very good as a writer
yeah, I dunno why there's no simple spin-off of some other hogwarts student. hogwarts legacy shows there's an audience for exploring
My thought on it is that Malfoy should’ve been a girl that slowly gets closer to Harry over the books, going from rivals to lovers. That way, you’d have gotten her perspective as a person on the darker side, trying to do what’s right for her family while also struggling with her feelings for Harry. Harry also would’ve been challenged as, especially in the books, Harry is judgemental and abrasive.
Or, OR, and hear me out, Harry could've been gay for Malfoy and let it play out how you described it otherwise
I took an internet quiz and they said I was Ravenclaw. I know nothing about Harry Potter. Does Ravenclaw have sexy babes?
Ravenclaw has the least sexy babes. All the bimbos are in Hufflepuff.
this was the Ravenclaw prefect in Harry's year
>Ravenclaw has the least sexy babes
WRONG. Padma was hot. Cho was cute. Luna was never my cup of tea but she is considered a cutie by lot of people
>all bad wizards come from Slytherin
>not all Slytherins are bad though
>not a single friend in Slytherin the entire series
wtf
are Slytherin canonically self-aware of their evil, because that's just fricking lazy writing otherwise.
normal humans don't wake up and think:
>the sorting hat said I was evil, so I will join the common room with a fricking human skull and proceed to be evil
>the house that is girly and has no other traits;
What?
No one in Hufflepuff turned to the Dark Side.
They're the GOAT house and you can't be an incel because even if you are you get tons of pity fricks and there will always be one Stacy/Chad who will be your bf/gf.
>They're the GOAT house
kek, Hufflepuff is literally the special ed house for morons
>No one in Hufflepuff turned to the Dark Side.
They turn into the Dark Side. They are just professional enough to not get caught.
With AI there will be a version where dumbledore is a nazi.
>yes yes very good griffindor HOWEVER...HEIL HITLER GAS THE MUDS WIZWAR NOW. 6000000 POINTS TO THE ARYAN SLYTHERIN.
>With AI there will be a version where dumbledore is a nazi.
he was already a nazi in his youth in the canon
I'm a Gryffindor person.
God, year 2000, these BTS footage really is a time capsule.
Dumbledore was turned nazi by gay magic hitler until he wasn’t in love anymore.
The entire magic world is also massively into thinking they are superior in all ways to the point of creating their own government under the nose of everyone and believe in segregation from those that “just wouldn’t understand”
I'm Hufflepuff and trans.
>trans
Squib. You do not have a house. Report to Mr. Filch immediately.
>The house that represents courage, friendship, bravery, all the obvious good guy traits;
It represents recklessness, over-aggression, singlemindedness and a lack of risk-awareness.
It's the "future Darwin Award winner house".
>the house that is sorta cool but irrelevant;
Ravenclaw? It's for academic overachievers, freethinkers, social pariahs, autists and so on.
Mainly Asians, but also for guys who are into Asian girls.
>the house that is girly and has no other traits;
Nothing about Hufflepuff is girly. Apparently they're supposed to be about friendship and loyalty, in practice they take anyone who doesn't fit anywhere else. It therefore is a bit generic.
>and the house that believes in uncompromising racial superiority and genociding halfbreeds
Yeah, but it has the cutest, most smug girls.
>TFW your never ruin your Slytherin GF's bloodline with your mud blood seed
Ok, but who has the biggest futa wiener?
According to the fanfiction I believe it's Pansy Parkinson
The last one was made by an American
It's pretty clear that in some very early draft she intended for the Trio and Malfoy to belong to separate houses. She probably ended up tossing the idea because she couldn't make it work with the general "competitive boarding school" setting;
i literally watched harry potter 1 today kinda weird i see this thread now
There's a Harry Potter thread on Cinemaphile every other day at the very least. Nothing weird about it.
Pump the breaks, Gryffinbitch- friendship is Hufflepuff territory
Their loyalty knows no bounds
The Hogwarts houses are one of the few things that were made better by the community. JKR wants you to love Gryffindor, hate Slytherin, and not care about the others. But my impression is that people love Slytherin and Ravenclaw, but don't care about the others.
Harry Potter is a israeli series for midwits and homosexuals, which are you?
I’m a midwit homosexual probably.
I'm israeli.
I don’t recall any trans kids or “KILL WHITE PEOPLE” politics in HP so idk how it’s israeli.
I'm Slytherin and I want my wife to be knocked up by a mudblood.
Only raw, 100% pure all natural prime breeding wizard pussy is suitable for The Chosen One.
Yeah, but women still secretly want to be Slytherin. The amount of women that want to wear a Slytherin robe and larp as them at the harry potter universal parks is insane.
Ravenclaw is for actually intelligent people like Luna not Hermione who is a slave to anything someone with authority tells her to do.
>who is a slave to anything someone with authority tells her to do.
How many fricking times has she broken school rules, all on her own volition?
Imagine being sorted into Hufflepuff. Why even live
The comfy as frick underwater common room alone would make me want to be in Slytherin. Pureblood chuds can choke on my muggleborn chode; no-one's gonna bully me
incels be like i wanna be sorted into the last one
>HUFFLEPUFF
Why didn't he come to Harry Potter 20th anniversary?
it's almost like a school where kids learn magic but not little things like reading, writing, or math isn't all that well thought out
What isn't thought out? They have Arithmancy, which is the closest thing to math, and get homeschooled until they're 11, moron. Some muggleborns go to normal schools before they get the letter.
What do you need math for when you can just will things into existence?
Ah yes a society built on the basis of a 6th grade education, sounds promising. And no Arithmancy was Numerology and shit not math.
The closest thing they have to maths class, at least if done properly, is astronomy. That would actually require them to be proficient in arithmetics and basic algebra at the very least.
uoah Hermione cute, CUTE!
There's something about her expression here that just captivates me. She was so relentlessly pretty.
Girly? There's no girly house
I never understood why these kids were so unenthusiastic about their schooling. Not one of them thought unbelievable magic power was appealing at all? I would have been the nerdiest fricker ever and learnt every spell possible. Is talent that important to magic? What separates the Dumbledores and Voldemorts from the rest of them? I wish Rowling was a good writer. So much potential for the series pissed away.
Yeah, like Hermione. It's easy to be a bookworm when everything you read is actually interesting and fun and magical
Gryffindor is str max. Ravenclaw is int max. Slytherin is dex max. hufflepuff is one point in each attribute
Test
>and the house that believes in uncompromising racial superiority and genociding halfbreeds
Why are Hufflepuffs like this? Can't just be normal ass people.
They should have cast a real chink for Cho Chang tbh