It just wasn't very good. That whole sword being stuck in the scabbard thing was fricking moronic. Just keep it out. frick. The fight where he basically commits sudoku on those guys near the farm is so fricking dumb I hate it. The burping and farting shit was was waste of time and a ton of people probably turned it off right there. This needed action at the start not farting
most viking media is "neo-viking" stuff that has more to do with a modern illusion of what vikings are than the real thing.
The Northman is of course still not perfect but it is much closer to the real thing than anything else
The first part of the Northman was perfect. Raiding in the East, maybe going to Constantinople, it would have been an amazing movie. But instead it was just Hamlet with vikings
That's true, but neither were Eggers last two movies, which I'm sure normies didn't even watch if they were surprised by The Northman. Broad appeal just means goyslop. Barbie has broad appeal, I'm sure.
The VVitch was great
The LLighthouse was great
The NNorthman was also very good but is probably the weakest of the three
The LLighthouse is without a doubt the strongest
>bro its a slow arthouse film
it was a 100M budgeted action film
are you fricking moronic??
why did olga fall in love with amleth so quickly? her village was just destroyed and she knew amleth was one of the ones that did it right away on the boat when he was pretending to be a slave
say you've never got pussy without saying it wtfffffffff
it was absolutely not an action movie. like three quick actual action scenes (one in the dude's head, one actually large in scale) do not make an action movie.
I loved the movie but it's definitely not something the ordinary kinoplex enjoyer would like. My girlfriend was confused by it at times, and she assumed it was going to be a comedy when Amleth and the king were burping and farting before tripping balls
why did olga fall in love with amleth so quickly? her village was just destroyed and she knew amleth was one of the ones that did it right away on the boat when he was pretending to be a slave
>why did olga fall in love with amleth so quickly?
Uh... he was the tallest and strongest guy in the area. I don't think she gives a frick that his people just killed her village. You know even less about women than I do; I know enough to dislike them but you seem to know nothing.
I think that's due to the Viking belief that you don't go to the afterlife unless you die in battle. That means he HAD to go. He probably wanted to keep his family safe too. Amleth survived and got revenge and there's no reason to believe Fjolnir can't too.
>2012+5+6 >still defending The Norfshit
Film was absolute trash. I've still yet to see anyone actually say what's good about the film other than its historical accuracy in depicting a Norse fable (that's just an unoriginal mashup of Gladiator and Hamlet). >setting
Awful. A few wooden huts in an open field. This somehow cost about $100m >fights
TLJ tier. Everyone just stands around waiting to be hit. >writing
Twilight has more depth than this >cinematography
Making the night shots an inconsistent mix of desaturated and saturated looked horrendous >music
Forgettable
>other than its historical accuracy in depicting a Norse fable
This is why I liked it. You get to see a legend acted out. The reality of it and the fantasy (draugr scene)
also, hamlet is based off of a norse legend
I went to see it, expecting something at least half as good of what Mel Gibson would have done with a similar theme. Instead, it was a lot of growling, farting and not much else. Shit was shit, just watch Apocolypto
I saw it in theaters and enjoyed it but it's like a 7/10 and I'm saying that as the target audience. Might never watch it again whereas I've seen Witch like 3 or 4 times.
If you didn't love it then you're clearly not the target audience. Tell me what you thought about Barbie because I think you were the target audience for that.
>If you didn't love it then you're clearly not the target audience
That's the dumbest thing I've read on this site today. I love movies like that. The execution was imperfect. I enjoyed it but not as much as others in the genre. Sorry I didn't LOVE your favorite movie.
>That's the dumbest thing I've read on this site today
It's not dumb at all. You can tell me how it's dumb after I've filtered this thread and checked my three other threads with no new replies then
continue filtering threads in the 4th tab.
this movie failed at absolutely everything it tried to do and is carried by two or three performances. by the end of it you're begging for it to be over. eggers would be a better director if he switched to making music videos.
I liked the contrast between old and modern morality in this movie.
The heroes became villains depending on the lens you viewed the film and i think it was deliberate.
It just wasn't very good. That whole sword being stuck in the scabbard thing was fricking moronic. Just keep it out. frick. The fight where he basically commits sudoku on those guys near the farm is so fricking dumb I hate it. The burping and farting shit was was waste of time and a ton of people probably turned it off right there. This needed action at the start not farting
Unironically filtered
More people saw Northman than this.
>one of the cinematic events of the year
>"yep this was a film this year"
Those aren't people. I've seen Northman but not Barbie.
/thread
>period movie
>modern underwear
sloppy production
I don't understand. Is that modern underwear? What is it meant to look like?
It's spandex, a modern polymer. It shouldn't be in a period film
That's not an airplane, that's the divine Hermes overlooking the battle.
that pic from Troy is fake
I don't blame them. Northman was boring as hell.
Eggers thinks he's as good as Ridley Scott but he forgot that Scott is a hack filmmaker.
I like the director... it's just that I have had like a decade of viking media oversaturation and I need a cooldown before watching it.
if something is good it's good
imagine falling for this reddit-tier hivemind homosexualry wtf
most viking media is "neo-viking" stuff that has more to do with a modern illusion of what vikings are than the real thing.
The Northman is of course still not perfect but it is much closer to the real thing than anything else
The first part of the Northman was perfect. Raiding in the East, maybe going to Constantinople, it would have been an amazing movie. But instead it was just Hamlet with vikings
That's what I liked about it. It did a pretty decent job at showing how bizarre and foreign Norse religion might have been like.
I was looking forward, then I realized it was already out and done.
well, who wouldn't?
i did my part and saw it in theatres and liked it but it absolutely isn't a broad appeal movie.
>it absolutely isn't a broad appeal movie.
That's true, but neither were Eggers last two movies, which I'm sure normies didn't even watch if they were surprised by The Northman. Broad appeal just means goyslop. Barbie has broad appeal, I'm sure.
personally i think the witch sucked but i loved the lighthouse and the northman.
The VVitch was great
The LLighthouse was great
The NNorthman was also very good but is probably the weakest of the three
The LLighthouse is without a doubt the strongest
>it but it absolutely isn't a broad appeal movie.
it is you're just too much of a homosexual to get it
bro its a slow arthouse film. the average viewer will find it boring and lame and say it sucked because it wasn't constant le ebin viking fights.
or maybe you're just a projecting midwit who has no business discussing art with your betters
homosexual
i said i liked it. no idea why you're so upset.
not upset you just talk like a mealy mouthed out of shape ugly dork
homosexual
You come across as an 80 IQ moron with zero reading comprehension
I'm too handsome to care bud
>bro its a slow arthouse film
it was a 100M budgeted action film
are you fricking moronic??
say you've never got pussy without saying it wtfffffffff
it was absolutely not an action movie. like three quick actual action scenes (one in the dude's head, one actually large in scale) do not make an action movie.
In the way Blade Runner 2049 was an action film
Based movie.
I loved the movie but it's definitely not something the ordinary kinoplex enjoyer would like. My girlfriend was confused by it at times, and she assumed it was going to be a comedy when Amleth and the king were burping and farting before tripping balls
why did olga fall in love with amleth so quickly? her village was just destroyed and she knew amleth was one of the ones that did it right away on the boat when he was pretending to be a slave
>why did olga fall in love with amleth so quickly?
Uh... he was the tallest and strongest guy in the area. I don't think she gives a frick that his people just killed her village. You know even less about women than I do; I know enough to dislike them but you seem to know nothing.
ya and the angry chad ends up leaving her alone and pregnant to go die, sounds like one of those pill moments if ive ever seen one aha!
>the angry chad ends up leaving her
I think that's due to the Viking belief that you don't go to the afterlife unless you die in battle. That means he HAD to go. He probably wanted to keep his family safe too. Amleth survived and got revenge and there's no reason to believe Fjolnir can't too.
Eggers actually is a secret redpill chud
>2012+5+6
>still defending The Norfshit
Film was absolute trash. I've still yet to see anyone actually say what's good about the film other than its historical accuracy in depicting a Norse fable (that's just an unoriginal mashup of Gladiator and Hamlet).
>setting
Awful. A few wooden huts in an open field. This somehow cost about $100m
>fights
TLJ tier. Everyone just stands around waiting to be hit.
>writing
Twilight has more depth than this
>cinematography
Making the night shots an inconsistent mix of desaturated and saturated looked horrendous
>music
Forgettable
>brain completely rotted by capeshit
>immediately resorting to strawmanning when you can't refute your shitty film's glaring flaws
kek
>other than its historical accuracy in depicting a Norse fable
This is why I liked it. You get to see a legend acted out. The reality of it and the fantasy (draugr scene)
also, hamlet is based off of a norse legend
>hamlet is based off of a norse legend
which one
The story that the Northman is based on, Amleth's tale
I went to see it, expecting something at least half as good of what Mel Gibson would have done with a similar theme. Instead, it was a lot of growling, farting and not much else. Shit was shit, just watch Apocolypto
Calling normies people is a bit of a stretch
I liked The Norfbloke, but you might be moronic if you can't understand why that didn't have mass appeal and Barbie does.
haven't seen barbie, but this movie was really good. got to see ATJ's butt 10/10
I saw it in theaters and enjoyed it but it's like a 7/10 and I'm saying that as the target audience. Might never watch it again whereas I've seen Witch like 3 or 4 times.
If you didn't love it then you're clearly not the target audience. Tell me what you thought about Barbie because I think you were the target audience for that.
>If you didn't love it then you're clearly not the target audience
That's the dumbest thing I've read on this site today. I love movies like that. The execution was imperfect. I enjoyed it but not as much as others in the genre. Sorry I didn't LOVE your favorite movie.
>That's the dumbest thing I've read on this site today
It's not dumb at all. You can tell me how it's dumb after I've filtered this thread and checked my three other threads with no new replies then
continue filtering threads in the 4th tab.
People want to watch safe trash and not cool R-rated Viking movies with blood and gore. Sad, but true.
I saw The NNnorthman and not Barbie
It wasn't that good.
It was good and totally over hated on here. It wasn't amazing, but definitely good
I fricking hate that part with his mother, I went with my mom and it was really fricking uncomfortable
>and it was really fricking uncomfortable
In your pants, i bet.
No it wasn’t, it was gross
The west is dead culturally.
you still all fricking decided to go watch BARBIE instead of a cool movie about Norse vikings that looked promising
why is one more culturally valid than the other?
do you realize how incorrect your entire worldview is?
how smug and up your own ass your are?
dial8 harder please
I always mistake this motherfricker for the guy from The Expanse.
Got nothing to watch for the night. Worth it bros?
Can't blame them, the marketing/posters/trailers were completely obnoxious.
>robert eggers
I pass
get woke, go broke
this movie failed at absolutely everything it tried to do and is carried by two or three performances. by the end of it you're begging for it to be over. eggers would be a better director if he switched to making music videos.
I liked the contrast between old and modern morality in this movie.
The heroes became villains depending on the lens you viewed the film and i think it was deliberate.
are you really surprised that normies are moronic?
it's all about marketing and big names for the golem