Pitch a star wars movie.
Pitch a star wars series.
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Pitch a star wars movie. Pitch a star wars series.
Pitch a star wars movie.
Pitch a star wars series.
Thalidomide Vintage Ad Shirt $22.14 |
Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
Thalidomide Vintage Ad Shirt $22.14 |
Imagine seething so much over an action space fantasy series made for 12 year olds like this guy lmao
No. Frick off.
>ext shot
>a random stormtrooper shows up in plain clothes
>using his blaster, he mows down literally every character remaining from the sequel trilogy
>the end
kino material
Yuuzhan Vong comes and cums in Rey for 3 hours
-= Shaqueefa in Ascendance =-
A Strong Black Birthing Hutt has taken over the criminal enterprises of Tattooine and quickly ascends to the throne of the newly-formed Imperial Senate after resurrecting billions of armless and legless fallen Stormtroopers, using lioness-based Blackmancy to turn them into packs of ravenous gibbering demons. Soon, the galaxy is sundered, squalid, and in a state of total disrepair, until a band of rebels take it upon themselves to form small collectives and to reconstitute civilization from the ground up. The show traces their exploits as they relearn the secrets of potable water.
>Pitch a star wars movie.
>Pitch a star wars series.
nope. frick off kathleen. you will get no more ideas from Cinemaphile
>Pitch a star wars movie.
140h minutes of Cal Kestis and nightsister Merrin having sex for the purposes of procreation, fully explicit with closeups and nudity, real penetration.
>Pitch a star wars series.
A reality miniseries about former Star Wars actors/directors executing terrible vengeance against the people who destroyed the franchise.
First episode is Mark Hamill drowning Rian Johnson in a container full of green liquid, because of that awful walrus milking scene.
Second episode is Oscar Isaac cutting out J.J. Abrams' tongue and forcefeeding it to him, payback for making Oscar say "somehow Palpatine returned."
Third and final episode is George Lucas using a whip to strangle Kathleen Kennedy, for betraying him and also trying to kill Indy too.
Disney comes out and says that their nu canon has been made non canon. All the old media that had been deemed non canon by disney is now canon again. They then make movies following the plot of the Dark Forces games.
>All the old media that had been deemed non canon by disney is now canon again.
>Again
Anon...
Disney must fire Kathleen Kennedy and apologize to Star Wars fans, then retcon everything after Episode VI
Disney would be insane to disrespect George's final wish for her to be in charge.
Does George want to buy tens of thousands of tickets for the next Star Wars movie?
>movie
Monty Python-esque comedy following a battalion of storm troopers stationed on death star 1. Movie ends with the station’s explosion
>series
Whatever the frick it is Palpatine was doing between getting thrown into death star 2’s reactor and TROS
A Black person, a woman, and a israelite go on an adventure. There's lightsabers or some shit.
Disney doesn't understand the mythic, heroicism Lucas was doing with this originals(1-6).
You are misunderstanding if you are viewing 1-6 as real-life depictions of events, it's a blend of dramatic legends/tales being told in movie form.
Anyway, draw from history. Rather than moving forward the Lucas story, expand the depth.
star wars series? easy, jedi school. takes place after episode 1. take inspiration from The Wire s4.
Movie? Collapse of the Rakatan Empire(re-canonized by disney already), take place a 1000 generations(40,000 years) ago which ushers in the galactic dark ages and the rise of the Jedi. Palpatines line of "1000 years" in AOTC will mean THAT iteration of the Republic(republic of the prequels).
Sadly they kinda bungled that with 'the high republic'
A “Cheers like” show where it’s just some guy running a cantina with his friends and there’s not fighting or bullshit. Every once in a while a stormtrooper tries to start some shit but they never hit anything with their blasters and the bartender pours him a tall drink and suggests (comically) that “maybe this’ll help, I always shoot better after a few drinks.” But at the end of the day everyone gets along and they’re just kind of messing with each other, shenanigans ensue
Make it campy with a forced laugh track and kind of give it that 80s sitcom vibe. If Norm Macdonald was alive I’d say make him the writer/showrunner. Also make it TV-MA
Lucasfilms priority should be to even this out as much as possible.
If they are going to turn Star Wars into the massive space opera they want it to be, then I think they should honestly just give the OT and PT eras a hiatus and focus on the stuff we rarely see.
Bingo
>>ext shot
>>a random stormtrooper shows up in plain clothes
his blaster, he mows down literally every character remaining from the sequel trilogy
>>the end
>3 films for rise of the First order
Damn, everyone really forgot the resistance cartoon happened, huh
mandalorian movie
ez mode, clap clap, give me my million dollars please
make it about the fate of some planet, resistance to the empire, mandalorians rise up, white power, you know all that good stuff
The movie is about a moron feminist woman who single handedly ruins an IP worth billions of dollars
oh wait thats real life
>Have extremely valuable thing
>Give extremely valuable thing to female
Classic blunder
Movie set in a remote planet where it's always raining on the surface. The planet was once an ancient sith capital but has since become a regional hub run by the black hand. A smuggler is given a mission from the new republic to extract someone from the planet, but when they meet their cargo it's a new Jedi Knight representing a new Jedi order founded after the last trilogy. The Jedi was on their first solo mission assigned to recon the situation on the planet. Jedi discovered some particularly dangerous threat and tried to escape, but was stopped by a black hand enforcer who is a lapsed Jedi themselves. The enforcer easily beats the Jedi Knight, chopping off an arm and leaving him for dead in some terrible natural hazard (monster bog). Jedi survives and gets underground, now passing as a one armed dishwasher at a canteena. Smuggler wants to take the Jedi out, Jedi doesn't want to go because muh morals. Smuggler tricks the Jedi and takes them off world...
Sometime between Episode 3 and 4, a young teen Leia meets exiled Jedi Ahsoka Tano. Something happens, and they end up having extremely sweaty, stinky lesbian sex literally for days. Like Leia's face is coated in Togruta pussy secretions, hair matted with it, everything. Score by John Williams.
Tarantino-style R-rated western about Mace Windu working with a bounty hunter on Tatooine
I would be up for more Mace as long as it was set in the past and it established that he wasn't really a good guy, more a grey area, and explain why he was angry and hostile all the time.
1) an idea involving Daisy Ridley's toes that is too saucy for Cinemaphile
2) A world between worlds movie that functions as a way to bring back Kylo Ren because he was the only successful new character. Eventually he can have a character arc of struggling to forgive himself for the evil things he's done and trying to atone for them.
3) KOTOR adaptation w/ Keanu as Revan
4) a "there were heroes on both sides" type movie that shows the wars from the perspective of an imperial grunt
>Heart of Darkness analogue
>Squadron of Elite Stormtroopers sent to hunt a Jedi embedded deep on a jungle planet
>New rookie joins them on expedition, is a mute and never removes helmet a la ODST
>Stormtroopers are picked off slowly by hostile animals, natives, and finally the Jedi slowly hunting them personally, until only the squad leader and the rookie remain
>Jedi is about to kill the Squad leader until the rookie pulls out a lightsaber, he is revealed to be Darth Vader in a different suit of armor
>He kills the Jedi and admits to the survivor he had to let the rest of the team die to get the Jedi to lower their guard, they would've fleed if they'd known the truth
>Squad leader leaves the planet humbled and broken having seen the destructive power of the force in person
Given that Disney is only capable of ripping off existing movies as the basis for their Star Wars projects, I'm amazed this hasn't been done yet.
Survival horror movie with a young order 66 survivor on a remote planet being hunted by an inquisitor.
A public, streamed, Kathleen Kennedy execution
I'd subscribe to Disney Plus for that
Make a movie about Luke training the new Jedi order and explains more about why he lost faith in Kylo Ren. Maybe that aspect of TLJ can finally be redeemed. You could even do some exposition about the First Order forming and Luke choosing non-interventionist peaceful approach.
Dead IP. Can’t be saved. Sorry mouseBlack person.
him
I will. But not to you.
Empire centered series based off the TIE Fighter computer simulator storyline.
For those who never played, a dude and hos brother are from a backwater thatvthe Imperial Navy unironically brings peace and stability to. They both join, one becomes a TIE pilot and the other becomes a stormtrooper. The brother is never mentioned outside of the game booklet. The pilot ends up recruited by a secret order working directly for the Emperor and ends up in an operation against a coup in a secret internal war. A series could show the pilot getting more and more radicalized into the dark side secret order, and the storm trooper brother, seeing the horrors of war up close and personal, could be more and more disillusioned. The radical and the cynic being brothers could fuel the drama, and the internal war between Imperial elements with non-Rebel 3rd parties also in the mix could provide all the shooty fight scenes you could want. And NO JEDI would need to be involved, thoughbthe studio probably would not be able to keep themselves from throwing in yet anotheflr Order 66 survivor somehow.
Your movie was shit Rian. At least this way it could at least make some sense.
An undercover cop gets involved in underground podracing on Tattooine, falls in love with the perp's sister
An isekai. A Japanese teenager is transported to the star wars galaxy where he becomes a jedi and gets a harem of alien girls. Vader jobs to him and he survives order 66.
Jedi must hunt down a serial killer on Coruscant
Sounds more like an issue for the coruscant police
Darth Timate is on the lookout for a new sex slave and purchases a young Twi'lek virgin.
The rest if the movie is just a high production value porno with the best alien prosthetics and make-up money can buy.
World Series Sabacc
G R Y S K S
I dont work for free Ms. Kennedy
A new trilogy so bad that makes sequel revisionism happen.
The Yuuzhan Vong sweep into the galaxy, kill literally everybody, terraform every planet, then Nom Anor looks like into the camera and says “That’s the last of Star Wars for literally ever”
Fin
Rough night, Kathy?
I can only pitch James bond movies. You want me to?
After 20 mins of space whizzing around, Luke Skywalker wakes up in his Seattle apartment. It was all a dream. It's finally over and dead.
BUMP BUM BUM BAAA
BAAA
BUMP BUM BUM BUM BAAAA