Pitch me a movie idea about the Amish

Pitch me a movie idea about the Amish

CRIME Shirt $21.68

Black Rifle Cuck Company, Conservative Humor Shirt $21.68

CRIME Shirt $21.68

  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I actually started writing one last night, while people were shooting off fireworks.

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Crime procedural featuring an amish main character in modern New York using police technology from 1876

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Damnit Mose, you're completely out of control
      >You'll have to turn in your badge and bible
      >...and your OTHER bible

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >wait since when did you carry a NIV?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Wasn't there a Harrison Ford movie like that?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        There's a movie with Harrison Ford and an Amish boy is in the witness protection program, or something like that.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Yes, it's called Witness, co-starring Kelly MGillis from Top Gun. If I remember correctly she has a topless scene while she's bathing herself and Harrison watches her. Also, the little Amish kid has a sick-ass wooden marble contraption for a toy.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        he even got an Oscar nom for it

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        No, that was about an Amish kid witnessing a murder and then he and Ford, who is a cop, have to go hide in Amish country because a crooked cop in the police department nearly gets them killed.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Damnit Mose, you're completely out of control
      >You'll have to turn in your badge and bible
      >...and your OTHER bible

      lmao

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Crime procedural featuring an amish main character
      If procedurals have taught me anything it's that the character is on rumpsringa and gets murdered.

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Chuck Paluhniuk Survivor

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I remember hearing a rumor that this was going to be made into a movie but then 9/11 happened and it got axed because the main character hijacks a plane in it.
      Entertaining book btw

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Is that the book whose numbering is reversed?

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Amish girl leaves town to go to the city. Aliens abduct her and she slowly grows into a thousand foot tall giant. Explores the ethos of the small girl who leaves her small town. A slow decent to madness so to speak; 4 hour comedy/drama/and some action.

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Watch Banshee for some Amish Kino

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    amish vampire hunters

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Amish girl goes to the city to get as much BBC as possible

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      shalom

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Amish guy here, this happens so damn often. It's sad. Our girls go to the city once and completely transform into BBC hungry bawds. What is it about black men that white girls like so much? Is it the sheer thickness of their penises or their towering height and giant muscles?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Oi, stop using internet go tend to the fricking cows. Keep at this and I will personally cut down your internet cable.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        opened this thread up with racebaiting post exactly like this one in mind and I must say that I am disappointed at the low effort post this is

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Why do you people keep doing this?
          It's not funny and you have been doing it incessantly for years.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Amish girl goes to the UK to watch as much BBC as possible

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    a 2 hour propaganda film about why being a christian is bad

    It's the only thing which will make it past the hollywood filter and I care more about money than personal values

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    an Amish kid witnesses at murder while at a train station and a detective from Philadelphia has to go out to Lancaster county to convince the parents to let him testify
    oh wait that's Witness

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Unscripted mockumentary where an amish girl goes to Kazakhstan to learn 2022 social values and technology to bring back to her village

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Just judging by her clothes, I'd say she's not amish. There are everyday white broads out there who just decide to start dressing and acting like what they think amish people are. That's an actual thing.

    Her skirt and bag is way too colorful, she's wearing some kind of boots, amish women always wear shoes, and that coat is way too modern. Her hair also looks way too well kept, and her bonnet is riding way to low, it's also stylishly untied.

    I grew up in a town that's like half amish and half english.

    Btw, there would be nothing wrong with amish people using a train or subway, they'd probably all do that if they didn't all live in rural areas that don't have such things.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      There are various subgroups of Amish with different levels of rules that they live by. You might have talked to one on the internet before.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        There were mennonites in the southwest part of Virginia I'd see a lot and they drove cars but they were all black and made to look plain on purpose

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >but they were all black
          I could have sworn black cars were the "fancy" ones. Like no rich prideful person trying to look rich and respectable would drive a yellow bmw.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Shes on her way home from her Rumspringa where she got drunk and had homiez run trains on hermall night.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Mennonites do the moderate dress thing but still use current technology

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    goes on rumsrpingahhhh, witnesses degeneracy, returns to her home grateful for her life, family and values

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    it already exists, it's called "For Richer or Poorer" and stars Tim Allen and Kirstie Alley

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      also there's an amish rumspringa hitchhiker in the movie Gypsy 83 about a fat goth and her gay bestie travelling to a stevie nicks drag night

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >rumspringa

        This isn't an actual thing, it's just an invention of those shitty reality shows about the culture that came out a decade ago.

        If anything, it's kind of just an informal concept, in that you can general forgive kids for being kids, but there's no right of passage where you hand your kids a bong and a ticket to L.A. to go work it all out.

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    amish guy really good at bowling

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    everyone in this thread sleeping

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Benson Goes to the Country

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Undercover cop infiltrates a gang of amish bank robbers.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      How do you rob a bank when you're a strict pacifist?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        With a strongly worded note.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      They always escape on a horse drawn carriage. Kino. They also scream in German accents at the tellers

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    It's so weird that different minor sects within Amish/Mennonites have different sets of technologies they reject. Some sects have no restriction on tech use if they believe not using them will put their livelihood at risk, so men can use computers, drive tractors and trucks, and plant GMO crops to compete with farms run by the English (their generic term for anyone who's not Amish), but women can't use any tech because their job is housework, not farming.

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    lmao can't ride amtrak across pa without seeing one on your car

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Person witnesses crime.
    Lives with the Amish to hide from the criminals.
    Culture-clash comedy ensues.

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >qt, feminine, virginal, thin girl that would make a great wife
    I'm so used to western culture that this seems very exotic.

  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    White religious community? Ummm how bout it’s a horror movie, they’re all in a cult and some teens get stranded and the amish pick them off one by one. And each scene and especially each of the killings is done in such a way as to highlight the hypocrisy of their religious convictions.

  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Here's something I drew as a pun that absolutely no one ever gets.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      But the pun gets explained right there in the title, or did I miss something?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        are you sending it exclusively to thirdies or something

        He’s wearing le technology?

        You overestimate how obscure your puns are.

        I guess I was being hyperbolic. I only posted it once and not everyone looks at filenames. It's just I worked so hard on the scale mail that it was disappointing that no one got it. I don't even remember what prompted me to draw it.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          So what was the joke

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      are you sending it exclusively to thirdies or something

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      He’s wearing le technology?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      You overestimate how obscure your puns are.

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I remember when I was in school some Amish laborers were building a house across the street from where I lived. Foundation-to-finish, those motherfrickers had it up in like five days.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      amazing what can be done when well, you know

  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    From the twisted mind of Jordan Peele...
    >shrill violin note
    >scene of blond white Amish family having dinner together
    >ominous music builds up
    >nice black man who got lost in the countryside on the way to a friend's house
    >very ominous synth note creating feeling of sheer dread
    >tall bearded Amish man saying "You shouldn't have come here..."
    >black man looking in horror
    >slowed down reverb
    >Where the hood, where the hood, where the hood at...

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      What's the title, anon?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Nope

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I was thinking "Am", it fits in his moronic mode of titles because it could be short for Amish, but also like
          >I AM a black person, get used to it!
          I'll expect the check in the mail.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            AM
            >AMerica
            >African Male
            >AMish
            Whoa

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous
      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        *Lights Out*

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >not an ominous cover of Weird Al's Amish Paradise

  25. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    amish girl, goes to the city, comes back with her black bf, and then the black guy breeds all the women there and kills all the male amish

  26. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Amish kid and native American kid know there's a skinwalker, but none of the grown ups believe them so they team up to kill it while the grown ups actively work against them.

  27. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Imagine actual legit amish girls and how they'd enjoy an absolute dicking.

    I wonder if incest is big in those communities.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *