Post films with literally no humour

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Then what was the scene with him staring at himself at the water and seeing himself as Jesus going for, OP?

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    it was pretty funny watching a bunch of nips get tortured to death because they believed a mangled translation of the bible, and the various jesuits struggle with this because they couldn't allow themselves to even concieve of the notion that mistranslation of the bible was even possible

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >no humor
    Are you serious? Did you forget when he reveals the asiatics thought the priests were talking about the sun?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      An extremely stupid bit in an otherwise good move.
      Japanese son = musuko, sun = taiyō or hi
      Portuguese son = filho, sun = sol

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        This. Mistranslations occurred I'm sure, but their "version" of Christianity had the important tenants down. Also OP, the scene where the priests eat before praying and the spit the food out was pretty funny.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >their "version" of Christianity had the important tenants down.
          it really didn't. it just looked close enough that most people weren't going to examine or question further.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            believing in Jesus is the more important tenant, they didn't think he was the sun, like the film says.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              they didn't believe in jesus. they believed the sun would not rise for three days if they suffered enough, and then they'd go to paradise.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        But they taught in English. In the movie. Not in real life, I know. But you can't deny they taught in English in the movie since they spoke English with Portuguese accents which makes no sense if we were watching Portugese movie magic'd to English for us. If they were speaking their native tongue they wouldn't be stumbling over their words and struggling to express emotions.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          the movie was in english, the jesuits were from portugal, speaking portuguese.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >the jesuits were from portugal, speaking portuguese.
            In real life. Not in this film's continuity. If they were speaking Portugese they would be able to speak clearly and articulately when talking to each other instead of
            >Ehh i ehope uhyou ehwill uhhhh
            Not to even mention the obvious fact that the Padre they find who was also ethnically Portugese (per the movie), spoke English with no Portugese accent at all. Explain that if they're "actually speaking portugese"

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              the movie was made by an american, for american audiences. that's all the explanation needed.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                So for Americans sake they had spiderman splutter away in fake portugese but NOT quigon, because if quigon did so, the americans would... what?

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >if dey was speakin my monkeyspeak they'd bee speakin clearer!
                yea okay pablo

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >Perhaps in this alternate history, there has also been a union of Portugal and England under a single monarch.
                I think it's simply the Pope, and Ireland rather than England. Ferreira was from Ireland. Another reason you know the young padres weren't speaking Portugese because very unlikely he would understand them.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                who ya talkin to bruh

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                who ya talkin to bruh

                oh. It's meant for

                Let's not forget that in the film was filmed in Taiwan, with nothing to indicate it was not meant to be set there. This implies Japan had wrested control of the island from the Dutch, before the Chinese Ming loyalists were able to. That is, it's an alternate history.
                Perhaps in this alternate history, there has also been a union of Portugal and England under a single monarch.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                so he'd sound like the voice of authority

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              Let's not forget that in the film was filmed in Taiwan, with nothing to indicate it was not meant to be set there. This implies Japan had wrested control of the island from the Dutch, before the Chinese Ming loyalists were able to. That is, it's an alternate history.
              Perhaps in this alternate history, there has also been a union of Portugal and England under a single monarch.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              half the movie is people trying desperately to explain basic concepts and facts to rodrigues (garfield) and having reactions like

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KX6EF0zGC84

              when he proves all the well crafted arguments, appeals, expressed facts, experiences, etc, completely failed to penetrate his "faith." he's supposed to come off as kinda dumb.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          historically, the japanese had some experience with and knowledge of english before they had any contact with the portuguese, so the idea is the jesuits were trying to translate the gospel into japanese using every known word, from any language, that both the jesuits and the would-be converts both knew. throw in some confirmation bias, and the result is a completely fricked translation that just gets worse as it gets better.

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I just want to be this Chad

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      he's a hilarious c**t

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Jesus cannot go against his own words. Only two options:

    A) Satan spoke to him, told him to deny Christ
    B) The Hollywood movie is typical satanic subversion

    Matthew 10:33
    King James Bible
    >But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.

    Revelation 2:10
    >10Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Look, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison to test you, and you will suffer tribulation for ten days. Be faithful even unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      or that jesus isn't real and he was telling himself what he wanted to hear

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      They were still allowed to believe, the nip government was just obsessed with the symbolic act of making them step on an image of Jesus. But ultimately the image is just an image, not God.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        the point was to get the krishitans to stop with the whole mangled death-cult version of christianity they'd been fed by showing them the priests/jesuits had also ditched it.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        That doesn't really matter for the characters involved. They are still being forced to deny their faith or die. Even if the method does not technically constitute denial they still believe it does, so it does.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Schizo

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      He did not deny Jesus

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Unironically filtered. I sincerely feel sorry for you that your thoughtless dogmatism prevents you from understanding this Christ-affirming kino.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Lunched.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Protestants would never understand Silence.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >protestant autism
      lmao nobody will ever take you seriously

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I"MAAA NATT UH CREEECHINNNNN

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Michael Mann movies i guess

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      nah he's usually got some small measure of humor like pacino in heat (she's got a GREAT ASS) and cruise in collateral (you killed him? no i shot him, the bullets and the fall killed him)
      but yeah there's not much

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Jamie Foxx had some comedy moments in Collateral too iirc.

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I agree with you, OP. After seeing people tied up and thrown in the ocean the protagonist should have made a quip to release the tension. It's really anxiety-inducing when you can't crack a smile.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Why did refuse to let Joss Whedon and that one Buffy chick be alone together?

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    ?t=48
    >watch scorsese movie
    >rolling stones start playing
    it's kino every time

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Are christcucks really so mentally ill that they'd rather die than step on an image or say a few words?

    Even if God ends up being real, I think you can make a pretty convincing case
    >Hey God, I'm really sorry about that time I stepped on image of your face, if I didn't do it they would've killed me and my whole family

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      This argument falls flat on it's face when you realize they'd achieve sainthood if they had died for being followers of Christ
      it's ridiculously unbelievable that a church father could be held ransom with the lives of his congregation if the reason they are being killed is because of their religion
      As martyrs they would have been welcomed in Heaven

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      the target of the act wasn't the jesuits, but the japanese converts. but the japanese converts were following a horribly mistranslated version of christianity, where they basically believed the more they suffered, without killing themselves, the better the chance of the sun not rising for three days, and then them dying and going to paradise. so they weren't eating or drinking more than the bare minimum, weren't cleaning, weren't generally working.

      the problem is the jesuits could not even begin to concieve of the idea it was possible to mistranslate the word of god. because the word of god wasn't supposed to be just people talking to each other, the word of god is supposed to shine through and show people the Truth, the moment people are made aware of it.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Blessed check.
      You forget that Christians believe in an eternal paradise. Why would anyone who sincerely believes that they are assured a place in Heaven if they don't break the rules on Earth ever break a single rule on Earth? Especially when dying for God's sake actually assures their position even more?

      the target of the act wasn't the jesuits, but the japanese converts. but the japanese converts were following a horribly mistranslated version of christianity, where they basically believed the more they suffered, without killing themselves, the better the chance of the sun not rising for three days, and then them dying and going to paradise. so they weren't eating or drinking more than the bare minimum, weren't cleaning, weren't generally working.

      the problem is the jesuits could not even begin to concieve of the idea it was possible to mistranslate the word of god. because the word of god wasn't supposed to be just people talking to each other, the word of god is supposed to shine through and show people the Truth, the moment people are made aware of it.

      This is a lie, lol.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >This is a lie
        except all of it is true. the japanese converts weren't christian, didn't understand scripture, or even have a close to accurate idea of who jesus was or what he did. they were some butt-fricked-inside-out monstrosity that worshiped priests and suffering. it would be centuries before actual japanese christians would come into existence. the kirishitan death cult was just suffering in vain, and it was the jesuit's fault.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          You can just keep repeating the lies if you want, it doesn't make them true.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            why do you feel historical fact is a lie?

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              Because it is not historical fact.
              Listen, you are obviously some autist or schizo with an agenda. I don't want to rain on your parade too much but when you start lying about things for no reason you're stepping on people's toes.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                how is it not historical fact that the initial jesuit attempts to convert the japanese to christianity were horribly mistranslated and resulted in a nonsensical death cult?

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                How is it not historical fact that the ocean is red? It just isn't.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                except... that's what happened. the kirishitans didn't believe in anything remotely resembling the meaning of christian scripture. they only used a few names/rituals correct.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                see

                You can just keep repeating the lies if you want, it doesn't make them true.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                okay, cover your ears and scream for it to stop. its not like you can check on this yourself in an instant.

                ITS NOT LIKE THEY MADE A HISTORICALLY ACCURATE MOVIE ABOUT EXACTLY WHAT I AM SAYING OR ANYTHING

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                protestants opened the door for endless variations of jesusanity, sorry catholicuck

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                which, of course, has nothing to do with anything.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >dey not christians cause dey not doing the right magic rituals and stuff

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                they weren't christians because the jesuits of the time had close to no understanding of japanese, and completely botched every aspect of the initial attempts at translation.

                like the inquisitor said, the japanese, at that point, had a better understanding of spanish/portuguese than the jesuits had of japanese, and this was years after the initial contact.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >this is true because the fictional movie had characters who opposed christianity say it was true

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                bruh, its a true story. not sure why you think its pure fiction.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous
              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                nice selfie?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >be man who's whole life is devoted to God and spreading it to others so that they would be saved
      >deny God not only going against everything you believe but essentially damning others as well
      Kinda makes it a difficult choice for them

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Some of the scenes with the Kichijiro have a sense of humor.

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      There was some humor. I remember that one tourist and then that one guy in the therapy group.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        It's been 5 years since I watched it to be fair. I just remember it having such a serious premise that it almost flipped back around to being comical.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      God this sucked, Hawke was such a useless whiny b***h do Protestant C*cks really

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Lol at the end the moronic japs where worshipping a paganistic version of jesus. This movie shows why religions that tries to convert everyone always split into different heresies. Like christianity: latins kept catholicism, germans protestantism and greeks orthodoxy (and the stupid japs a literal sun jesus)

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >the moronic japs where worshipping a paganistic version of jesus
      They weren't. That's just what an apostate traitor said to justify his behavior in public.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        They clearly were. The asian mindset was very different from the west. Clearly they wouldnt get the cultural context christianity is in. Its the same thing with hinduism to us, it is very hard to understand the concept of atman fully because we are not inside that tradition

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >clearly
          Where is it clear? What material are looking at where this is clear to you?

          okay, cover your ears and scream for it to stop. its not like you can check on this yourself in an instant.

          ITS NOT LIKE THEY MADE A HISTORICALLY ACCURATE MOVIE ABOUT EXACTLY WHAT I AM SAYING OR ANYTHING

          You are a schizo ranting about nonsense is all I'm hearing, nothing you are saying has a basis in historical reality.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Because people from other cultures have difficulty understanding foreign religious concepts. Imagine trying to make some peasant japanese understand greek concepts like the trinity and israeli profecies

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              I see. So you're just making things up and assuming that your understanding of the world is so all encompassing that your fiction accurately reflects reality.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      what if i told you that europeans worship a paganistic version of jesus

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    apostatizing is LE BAD
    ESPECIALLY IF IT'S TO SAVE INNOCENT PEOPLE

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Literally any comedy made in the last 10 years.

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    am I supposed to ignore all the politics, the attempted colonization of japan by europeans in the same vain as the philippines and indochina? instead I'm supposed to boo hoo over spirituality or some shit?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      yes, chud

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah

        too bad, glory to the nips

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Europeans (and americans) think they have the worlds best cultures and religion and they should be adopted by everone on earth. Suffice to say that this is impossible and create very degenerate anomalies like the philipines

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Oh yeah this movie exists.... is it any good?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      i for one think it's the best thing scorsese has done this century

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      if you're a committed christian you won't like it. scorsese is a heretic

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Bullshit I'm Christian and I love it. Last Temptation of Christ is also kino.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      nah he's usually got some small measure of humor like pacino in heat (she's got a GREAT ASS) and cruise in collateral (you killed him? no i shot him, the bullets and the fall killed him)
      but yeah there's not much

      am I supposed to ignore all the politics, the attempted colonization of japan by europeans in the same vain as the philippines and indochina? instead I'm supposed to boo hoo over spirituality or some shit?

      every scene has the subtext of being able to do a superfriends style screenwipe to
      >MEANWHILE, AT THE HEADQUARTERS OF THE SPANISH INQUISITION

      which is pretty funny

  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The Matrix

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I laughed at the scenes with Agent Smith he was funny, the context was funny.

  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    so lets break it down
    >jesuits contact japan during their warring lords period
    >christian nations will only trade with other christians
    >jesuits can't really understand japanese at all, or translate anything into it, but try anyway, because they think god will handle the heavy lifting
    >instead of telling these people to either learn japanese or frick off, a few lords "convert" their subjects to Christianity, to open up trade, for guns.
    >these lords still lose the warring lords period
    >but their converts are still there
    >fast forward
    >the now dominant government views the jesuits as agents of foreign subversion not only because of "trade-for-conversion," but also because the converts are worse than useless, because their version of the religion tells them to suffer as much as possible

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      nice fanfic

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    There are MULTIPLE scenes in Silence that are downright hilarious

  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    TERRUBAL BIZNIZZ!
    TERRUBAL!

  25. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    That one guy who kept betraying him was pretty funny.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Confession!!

  26. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The moment where the padre demands to be taken to the inquisitor and the Japanese lords look at him in confusion and then break into genuine laughter was such a brief and sudden mood shift in the story, it almost felt like a blooper that was accidentally left in

  27. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      that's literally me when i realize i've been trying to explain something complex to a moron though

  28. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
  29. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    it was funny seeing english speaking actors trying to pronounce portuguese names with "ão" "ães" and "ç"

  30. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >japanese catholics are killed and tortured by the government
    >their religion is outlawed for centuries
    >the two cities which boast the biggest number of catholics in Japan get nuked
    These guys just can’t catch a break.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      that's exactly why filthy anglo protestants targeted them

  31. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >no humor
    >the christcucks get cucked time and time again
    This is an uplifting comedy

  32. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Why were the Chinese so nice to them but the Japanese so mean?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      That was in Macau, so Portuguese control. China was also not nice, just not as bad as Japan. Jesuits got to hang out with the emperor and share their scientific knowledge, but actual missionary efforts were tightly controlled.
      Things were going well until dumber religious orders convinced the pope to ban ancestor worship and Confucianism, which the Jesuits had integrated into Christianity.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Why did Japan look like a complete shithole compared to China at that time?

  33. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    not religious but the scene where jesus speaks to him was kinda kino. It was just so comforting. He thought he had so much to explain and jesus was just like
    >dude I get it. I always get it.

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