>Professor Dumbledore, because I was raised by muggles, I know their secrets, and they have a weapon that can destroy Voldemort

>Professor Dumbledore, because I was raised by muggles, I know their secrets, and they have a weapon that can destroy Voldemort
>What is it, Ms. Granger?
>It's called a 'gun'

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  1. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Dumbledore should have seduced Voldemort and given him AIDs

  2. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Guns are illegal in Great Britian, Wands, swords, axes, maces, and bows & arrows are not.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/dvT81OX.jpg

      >Professor Dumbledore, because I was raised by muggles, I know their secrets, and they have a weapon that can destroy Voldemort
      >What is it, Ms. Granger?
      >It's called a 'gun'

      >It's called 'magic loicenses'

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        https://i.imgur.com/dvT81OX.jpg

        >Professor Dumbledore, because I was raised by muggles, I know their secrets, and they have a weapon that can destroy Voldemort
        >What is it, Ms. Granger?
        >It's called a 'gun'

        >in the harry potter world you can't even use magic without approval from incompetent government bureaucracy who can confiscate your wand or imprison you
        >everyone goes to a boarding school and everyone's prospects are determined by who they and their families know
        >all the main characters become teachers or government workers
        just like real britain

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Where does that leave assault spoons?

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Guns are illegal in Great Britian
      No they're not.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah huh

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        always funny when homosexuals prove they didn't watch Hot Fuzz. Everyone's packing 'round here.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          Like who?

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            farmers

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      OI YA GOT A LOICENCE FOH DAT SPOON M8?

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Just accio a gun from America. Or portkey into America and alohamora some prepper’s gunsafe open. OR transfigure and old typewriter and half a newt into an ar-15.

      Hell, you can just imperio Uncle Vernon so he gives you his illegal, double barreled, millitary grade assualt weapon (one of the privileges of being at such a high level in the drill bisiness). Barrel been bent by Hagrid until it’s more crooked and floppy than senile old Dumbledore’s wiener? A quick semperus reparo will fix that. Hey Voldy, can you protego fast enough to not catch this rock salt? HOO RAH!

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >be me in 2003
        >just got home from work, drinking a beer
        >hear whoosh sound in my bedroom
        >whispering
        >catch three nerdy British kids wearing gay ass robes and picking through my gun safe
        >they gasp and disappear in a flash of light
        >fricking wizards

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Wands, swords, axes, maces, and bows & arrows are not.
      Damn, awesome. I feel all men should carry a sword, but holding anything more potentially harmful than house keys is illegal in my country.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Aussie?

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      No they’re not

      Like who?

      Mostl

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      There's a gun in the first 10 minutes of the first movie you absolute dolt

  3. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Never mind defeating Voldemort Mrs. Granger, I have a convoluted plan that involves implicating someone in my murder with an unforgivable curse and generally placing the lives of many children, yourself included, in incalculable danger
    >Before you leave, here is an incredibly powerful time control device
    >To help beat Voldemort?
    >Oh no Mrs. Granger, to allow you to take more classes than you otherwise would

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      I was always flabbergasted by the fact that these kids got access to some extremely potent magical items. A device to control time, a cloak that renders you completely invisible, a map that tells you where everyone is in the castle at any time of day....And they squander all of it.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        There kids, kids are fricking stupid, why there are laws to protect kids from adults.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >a map that tells you where everyone is in the castle at any time of day
        In hindsight, this makes Fred and George tremendous homosexuals
        >never realized that Pettigrew was Percy's rat despite sharing a dormitory for 2 years
        >never realized Voldemort was Quirrell (though tbf it's unclear how the map would parse possession)

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          Doubt they would know that Tom Riddle was Voldemort. Its not really clear what name shows up or why.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >a map that tells you where everyone is in the castle at any time of day.
        Didn't Harry's dad and his friends make that map when they were like 13? Can't be that hard to do.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Imagine all the kinky student sex that would go on in a wizarding castle at the ripe age of 16.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        The reasons wizards haven't taken over the world isn't because the good wizard won't let them, it's because they're all fricking morons.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      no one actually think HP has a good story, people just like it for the comfy old english wizard aesthetics

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        not true
        inconsistencies doesn't suddenly make a story bad. only to autists, who can't experience joy anyway

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Before you leave, here is an incredibly powerful time control device

      >Most people would agree that 8 hours of classes per day is more than enough
      >But because I hate you so much, Ms Granger, I want you to take 24.
      >Hope you have a heart attack and die.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        She does this for the whole year and also goes to summer school, shows up looking like Lindsey Lohan in the SNL skit because she is now 2 years older than the rest. Dumbledoor was a smart man.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          >shows up looking like Lindsey Lohan in the SNL skit

          We should have been so lucky.

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            Emma would need a magic bra to make the same display.

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Rachel Dratch's breasts were bigger

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      doesn't the time travel only go back like a day?

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        It goes back as far as you need, provided you can turn the dial enough times.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's also shown that it won't change the past, it simply allows you to be in two places at once. All the things they tried to change ended up being misunderstandings that never occurred in the first place. It's still very strong but you can't just go back and alter history, because anything you plan to do already happened.
        Also pretty funny how they were never used again after that book because time travel is hard to write

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      You can't change those types of events, time travel is convoluted and it shouldn't even exist in HP to begin with

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I have a convoluted plan
      Why the frick wouldn't he envolve other teachers like McGonagall or Flitwick in the horcrux hunt? They were more than capable

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/dvT81OX.jpg

      >Professor Dumbledore, because I was raised by muggles, I know their secrets, and they have a weapon that can destroy Voldemort
      >What is it, Ms. Granger?
      >It's called a 'gun'

      >"Frankly we didn't intervene because those 6 million muggles deserved it"

  4. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why didn't Voldemort just use a sniper rifle and shoot Harry at the Dursley house?
    It's not like he didn't know where it was

  5. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    man richard harris dying really sucked, despite having no clue what harry potter even was when he took the part i feel like his dumbledore was much closer to the book than gambon's.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      He wouldn't have been able to pull it off in the later movies, too much physicality and anger.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        you might be right, but gambon always felt like an angry dude pretending to be nice, i never once believed him as a "helpful sage" type. yeah they would have had to get creative to get 80+ year old harris to do any of the shit from the later movies but it would have been much more shocking to see him pissed off.

    • 8 months ago
      I don't know why I still come here.

      I was rewatching the first Harry Potter a couple years ago and I was all like "gee why does Dumbledore look so much like Capt crozier" I looked it up and turns out the actor was Jared Harris' dad. I felt almost proud of myself for spotting

  6. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    what other secrets does she know?

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Not how to secretly evade taxes, that's for sure.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      https://voca.ro/1eRazQgD2TzF

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Is this 11labs?

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah, it was in one of the last threads.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >>we're supposed to believe that Harry and Hermione didn't know ex-IRA guys

        https://voca.ro/1aKEodpOGG90

        https://vocaroo.com/1aP2eExNVYyW

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          Cheeky bugger.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            Satan begone
            https://vocaroo.com/1cmbyVfuDC0P

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              I shall scour the archives once again. Thanks for at least letting me know what's possible, anon.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                https://vocaroo.com/1mzX3Mlp2uNR

                aHR0cHM6Ly9tZWdhLm56L2ZpbGUvbzRaMVJBNlojanpwQkNCb1BXajVOdXRfTmVIZm1WWWdDdE8weENraGF4Z0s2UzdzY0NBbw==

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                You are a standup chap, anon, and shall always have my admiration. I would like to name a son after you.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                Then Anon he shall be named.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                that's actually a pretty cool name, ngl

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Anon
                >Anonymous
                >The nameless one
                Unless you intend to spawn an eldritch horror, your son's gonna get hella bullied.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                I was intrigued thinking base64 would hide something cool.
                My disappointment is immeasurable and my day has been ruined.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                Are you kidding? It's a treasure trove!

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                spoonfeed me how to use that link, im dumb

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                For some reason it didn't like me posting the link so I switched it up

  7. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    If muggers can't see magic, imagine how much money a wizard assassin would make. Just avatar kedavra people from like 100 ft away in crowded places. Muggles can't see magic, and it doesn't leave a trace. Literally Light Yagami tier.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Muggles can see magic, that's why Jacob got wrapped up in everything in the fantastic beasts movies.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      there were wizard cops right? im pretty sure they can smell magic. honestly, id probably end up as ron's dad. just having a normal govt job for a paycheck, and trying to frick around with non-magic shit until i get it right.

      honestly, the best thing rowling did with magic in these books was that it was basically incompatible with normal technology. no wizard computer hacking, no bullshit fricking with security systems. dumbledore was apparently the only person who could turn off normal lights with magic

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        I've always thought an interesting story would be the wizards totally underestimating muggles and trying to wage war on them, maybe Grindlewald or something.
        Wizards basically got stuck in the early 1800s for technology, Arthur Weasley is the muggle expert and he doesn't know what a rubber duck is.
        Truth be told, muggles would kick the shit out of wizards.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          ive given a lot of thought of a book with the premise of magic versus guns. it appears to be incredibly difficult to manage both modern tech and weapons and limiting magic without gimping it. that one magic wand movie with will smith was on the right track, but magic was way too gimped

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            Magic wouldn't need to be gimped at all, at least not how it's portrayed in HP.
            Their most lethal and illegal spell is the killing curse, which just does the same thing as a gun - except the gun doesnt require you to be evil and full of killing intent.
            All their shielding spells and visual trickery was developed prior to infrared and heat guided missiles, wizards are horribly outgunned in a fair fight.

            Now what would be interesting would be the wizards realizing this and having to get clever, using polyjuice to impersonate the president or something.

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              yeah but thats what i mean, there would have to be clear limitations on magic, otherwise theres no plot. we joke about how non-magic people somehow live with secret magicians, but its never really important to harry potter. cant just give wizards the ability to disappear artillery or warriors or wahtever.

              the whole teleportation thing in harry potter is a big plot hole. i'm sure there's some cope, but i cant help but think wizards would be teleporting around constantly. to the point that any sort of fight would never occur because they can just hearthbubble out

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                If memory serves it's very difficult to apparate, only really skilled wizards can do it.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                possibly. i assumed it was the wizard equivalent of learning to drive a car.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                Literally 16 year olds do it, I doubt its hard for them

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                Your memory does not serve

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                >they can just hearthbubble out
                Most of them don't like it, it's nauseating, you can split body parts and you can't apparent in other continents or other considerable distances

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              Wizards would just need to transfigure muggle weapons.

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              >Their most lethal and illegal spell is the killing curse
              It's only illegal because of how dangerous it is to other wizards.

              Muggles aren't shit. Wizards wouldn't even bother with the killing curse. They'd just do things like summon enormous walls of fire or flick their want to send their enemies a hundred feet into the air and let them fall back down.

              Doing things like that to other wizards is trivial. Other wizards can survive those attacks easily. Muggles can't.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                Muggles win again.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                > They'd just do things like summon enormous walls of fire or flick their want to send their enemies a hundred feet into the air and let them fall back down.
                Well, wizards can't survive any of that either. They can use their magic to prevent themselves from being harmed from it, but that's hardly a sure thing. Hermione literally punched Malfoy in the face and he didn't use magic to protect shit. Now think about some special operations unit with night vision goggles and infrared laser sights moving through hogwarts just gunning down everyone in their sleep.

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              >teleport into world leader’s office while invisible
              >imperio on Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong Un, and Biden
              >order them to fire all their nukes on highest populated muggle cities
              >using mindreading, truth serum, and other mind magic to find out who is actually firing the nukes and using imperio on them to ensure they fire the nukes
              >watch as the rest of the muggles get wrecked
              >nuclear apocalypse
              >live in my expanded space trunk like Newt Scamander that is packed full of preserved food in time stasis trunks…wait in there for a few years for the worst of the fallout to resolve itself

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                >while invisible
                There was only one cloak of invisibility, and that's assuming you would have it.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                >There was only one cloak of invisibility
                Wrong, they were an item that could be purchased easily.
                What made Harry's cloak special was that it was both impervious to revealing charms and supposedly could hide you from Death™.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                Disillusionment works. If you’re skilled enough, you’re barely detectable. In addition, there are many invisibility cloaks, anon. They’re just made of demiguise hairs instead of whatever the Cloak of Invisibility is (they wear off after 10-20 years).

                How effective would a cloak of invisibility work against infrared?

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                >How effective would a cloak of invisibility work against infrared?
                Your standard invisibility cloak would light up like a bonfire. Harry's, however, would still be perfectly invisible.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                Unclear if it manipulates only visible light or the entire spectrum.
                If it's just visible light, which is likely considering whoever made it would have frick all idea what infrared is, then we could easily spot it.

                How about thermal?

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                It's just fabric, so you could definitely see heat spots on it.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                Unclear if it manipulates only visible light or the entire spectrum.
                If it's just visible light, which is likely considering whoever made it would have frick all idea what infrared is, then we could easily spot it.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                According to the wiki on the thing, it really only makes you invisible to sight.Voldemorts snake was able to detect people under the cloak bc snakes can sense heat (with infrared), so it is likely technology would be able to detect them too.

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                His dumb parents should have hid under it with him when voldemort broke in

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                That's... a damn good point actually.
                Except the attack was a surprise, so maybe just Lily and Harry could have hidden while James held him off.

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                Both of them can't find inside the cloak and Homenum Revelio can find them out, read the books, REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                Disillusionment works. If you’re skilled enough, you’re barely detectable. In addition, there are many invisibility cloaks, anon. They’re just made of demiguise hairs instead of whatever the Cloak of Invisibility is (they wear off after 10-20 years).

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            There’s no reason you couldn’t shoot a wizard to death

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            It’s basically the X-men storyline right? Where the government tries to imprison them all? X-men are just wizards without wands.

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              pretty good comparison actually. itd have to be where the majority of wizards cannot do cool shit like levitating houses or exploding a downtown city block. they can just kinda jump higher or make plants grow a bit faster or really good housecleaning

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            More like you would have to make magic insanely OP in order to compete with guns.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          A hot war would be over comically fast but the surviving wizards would learn quickly how to infiltrate muggle society. Theyd be ruling the world on no time

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            That's what would make it interesting, both sides slipping into paranoia.
            Muggles never knowing if who they're talking to is an impostor and wizards never knowing if a satellite is listening into their plans.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          you're not thinking outside the box. why would wizards fight battles? use magic to become invisible, teleport and mind control the leadership, ezpz

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            >why would wizards fight battles?
            Precisely because they underestimate us and think it'd be a shit easy victory.

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              And when some of them die they'll wise up. Their own civil war is fought by Voldemort primarily by mind controlling and infiltrating their own wizard government, where people know about magical mind control, it would be a walk over for them to fight muggles in this way

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Arthur Weasley is the muggle expert and he doesn't know what a rubber duck is.
          So why isn't he replaced by a muggle born?

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            wizards might have a magical government, but it's still a government at the end of day. i'm sure the people who know what a rubber duck is work private sector

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            Because they're outwardly prejudiced against half breeds.
            In reality people like Harry and Hermione, having lived in the real world, would dominate the wizarding world.

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              That’s pretty much what happened too, Hermione becomes Minister of Magic running the government, while Harry runs the Aurors making him basically commander in chief of Wizarding Britain’s armed forces.
              Meanwhile Ron helps run his brother’s joke shop.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                The Broadway show it not canon.

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            Isn't a theory that Arthur is just pretending to be moronic to make harry feel more comfortable? Also considering that most wizards appear to be at the very least half-bloods wouldn't they have at least a basic understanding of how things work in the muggle world

            • 7 months ago
              Anonymous

              >Arthur is just pretending to be moronic to make harry feel more comfortable?
              That would be the most cozy and wholesome thing in the whole fricking book series, honestly
              But there's evidence of the contrary, like Arthur's battery collection and the ford anglia illegal shenanigans.

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                could a moron retrofit a car to fly like a broom, evading the authorities until two kids steal it and fly it around one of the most well known wizard-run transportation lines in the world?

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          ive given a lot of thought of a book with the premise of magic versus guns. it appears to be incredibly difficult to manage both modern tech and weapons and limiting magic without gimping it. that one magic wand movie with will smith was on the right track, but magic was way too gimped

          why is it that every harry potter complaint i see always forgets the suspension of disbelief? its always real world comparison this, logic of someone who cant use music that
          every single time

          >Arthur Weasley is the muggle expert and he doesn't know what a rubber duck is.
          So why isn't he replaced by a muggle born?

          Because they're outwardly prejudiced against half breeds.
          In reality people like Harry and Hermione, having lived in the real world, would dominate the wizarding world.

          You know it always bothered me that 90% of Rowlings problems with world building in Harry Potter would have been solved by making the Wizarding World and the Muggle world two literally different worlds rather than a secret society that also inhabited our own.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            That's actually an excellent point/idea
            >Harry's parents get murdered in Magic Earth
            >Dumbledore hides him in Muggle Earth with a family he mind controls/threatens/bribes/whatever to take him in
            >That's why wizards know so little about muggles and their way of life
            >That's why the secret can be kept so well
            >That's why dragons, trolls, and giants can exist in the crowded-ass modern-day Europe with nobody noticing

            I was always flabbergasted by the fact that these kids got access to some extremely potent magical items. A device to control time, a cloak that renders you completely invisible, a map that tells you where everyone is in the castle at any time of day....And they squander all of it.

            To be fair, two of those just kind of fell into the MC's lap, it wasn't that he was entrusted with them, they just existed and he got ahold of them. The time turners were a terrible idea, never put time travel in a story if you can avoid it, it just breeds plot holes.

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            A huge appeal of the series for kids was the idea that wizards could be secretly lurking around any corner.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          ive given a lot of thought of a book with the premise of magic versus guns. it appears to be incredibly difficult to manage both modern tech and weapons and limiting magic without gimping it. that one magic wand movie with will smith was on the right track, but magic was way too gimped

          That's like the premise of shit ton of anime/manga/ nip young adult novels.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          the moon is not a star

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          If the Wizards can infiltrate human society first then they win. They can disable key infrastructure or even impersonate key individuals. Humans have no counter to this level of magic spycraft and espionage. They are helpless against it.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            Depends....How nuke-proof is Hogwarts?

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              >muh nukes
              yeah i'm sure great britain will trivially be able to launch nukes at an uninhabitated patch of land without the whole population having a meltdown and hanging the leaders from lampposts

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                Depends on if they go into all-out war.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                why would wizards ever engage in all out standing war?
                there is nothing they need to defend except themselves - muggles can't even approach magical anomalies forget utilising them.
                the ultimate guerilla force

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                >why would wizards ever engage in all out standing war
                Because there be a conflict between muggles and wizards at all implies that the wizards calling the shots are morons like Deh Man, otherwise there'd be no conflict at all.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            the whole point of magic is that it's pure potential.
            wizards would just cast a ritual mass hypnosis that makes all the muggles forget about wizards again.
            this is why the statute of secrecy exists - coz wizards don't want to lose the muggle friends they've made who understand magic.
            if soul magic is possible and mind magic is possible then logically speaking combining both of them on a mass scale is easily possible = anyone who does magic is the only one who can see magic society.
            trivial but grand solution that magic users aren't cruel enough to use unless forced to.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            >If the Wizards can infiltrate human society
            The half-bloods/muggleborn might be able to, but it's a repeating theme in the books the purely Wizard-raised magicals are dumb as frick and stick out like a sore thumb.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          >I've always thought an interesting story would be the wizards totally underestimating muggles and trying to wage war on them, maybe Grindlewald or something.
          Isn't this the literal plot of the fantastic creatures films? The guy Grindlewald spergs out because normies have made nukes and shit which started putting normies above wizards in the pecking order since the average wizard is a fricking gump with limited offensive power and the average american cop could waste them with a gun and just go "damn that guy on PCP was moved in a crazy fashion"

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah it was but he never actually got to do it.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Be Grindlewald
            >try to warn my magical brethren about an existential threat facing our kind
            >get berated and scorned
            >try to save everyone on my own
            >get thrown in prison for 'war crimes'

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous
            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              saved

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              why would white racist grand wizards terrorize serious blacks?

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous
        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          idea:
          >medieval/bronze age/agricultural revolution world where magic/wizards exist
          >but in this world wizards fight normal non-magic humans instead of being pussies
          >wizards win due to obvious superiority & natural selection prefers them
          >regular homosexual sapiens go exinct and are looked back as neaderthals
          >wizards advance in technology extremely quickly (magic is basically a superior version of electricity and used similar to zero-point energy)
          >fast forward and they are a space faring civilization expanding across the galaxy, magic is common in everyone and wizards consider them selves regular default humans (homo-magians?) (kinda like in Fairy Tail or My Hero Academia)

          basically this is the lore/premises to build upon a further story

  8. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Guns can do 0 (zero) to locate, access, and ultimately destroy Horcruxes, which of course is Volde's only weakness.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Guns can do 0 (zero) to locate, access, and ultimately destroy Horcruxes, which of course is Volde's only weakness.
      What happens if you drown lors voldemort? Does he die or is just suspended in infinite death animation?

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        so a .50 to the head won't hurt him. what about 3,000 rounds from a minigun. This why fricking vampires can't exist

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          This is why I like VTM vampires, they do a good job differentiating what's myth and what's real and balance things so that X vs Y discussions would be fun.
          In that world vampires are tough but not indestructible, so not only would enough bullets kill a vampire, guns are effective enough that many vampires use them. Plus humans have weapons like flamethrowers that would absolutely frick up a vampire's day.
          It makes the whole "vampires are strong but still need to hide so humans won't rise up and destroy them" thing very believable.

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            not the game but as I understand it the VTM world also has wizards that can snuff out stars shit like that

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        >just suspended in infinite death animation
        Pretty sure that's what happened to him at the end

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >dip bullet in basilisk venom
      >shoot horcrux
      That was easy

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        wouldn't it dissolve your gun barrel?

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          Luckily you only need one shot, and barrels are interchangeable.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          make the barrel out of a basilisk fang

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Guns and other muggle inventions go crazy nearby magic. So gun would jam.

        Yep, that's how it works. I am not making that up.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          i wonder if there could be some "magic gun". kinda like putting a wii remote in a plastic steering wheel. basically put a magic wand inside a gun thats magically programmed to cast some bullet spell.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            Why so convoluted? Just make the gun out of magic ingredients. Smelt some cauldrons for the barrel. Whomping willow/dragon horn grips. Make the bullets out of ground basilisk tooth, manticore spike, or other such horseshit for the propellant. Melt down some golden snitches to make the jacket. Bingo-Bango, Yous got'chu a wizard problem solver (purely academic of course)

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              >(purely academic of course)
              yes, headmaster. of course

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          You're actually wrong, but it's a common misunderstanding.
          Muggle tech doesn't work near Hogwarts, since it's been specifically charmed not to.
          Magic in general doesn't have an effect on tech.
          And also, it most likely wouldn't have an effect on guns or bullets, since their operation relies on the same basic physical and chemical interactions that the human body runs on.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Magic in general doesn't have an effect on tech.
            >And also, it most likely wouldn't have an effect on guns or bullets, since their operation relies on the same basic physical and chemical interactions that the human body runs on.
            explain how the leviosa charm would interact with a bullet's ballistic trajectory in 5 words or less

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              Five words? Okay. It wouldn't.

              If you could cast leviosa fast enough to intercept a bullet then you're the fricking flash.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                >someone pulls out a tacticool ar 15
                expelliarmus. flippendo.
                now what?

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                We solved that problem a hundred years ago.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                >gun shoots out of your arms with the force of a hummingbird flying
                >the sling dislocates your arm
                lol

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                You've never fired a gun or used a strap before, otherwise you'd know how moronic that is.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                >gets btfo
                >defaults back to ad hominem
                thanks for playing

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                >make up scenario that would not happen
                >gets called out and cries about it
                I accept your concession.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                >>make up scenario that would not happen
                you're in a thread about harry potter gun gay. go shove a silencer up your ass

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                You mean a suppressor, nogunz?

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                >NOOOOOOOO IT'S NOT TECHNICALLY A SILENCER!!!!!!
                I bet you get made when I call a magazine a clip

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                You've been made to be a moronic homosexual who can't spell.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                Makes me sad that feds are cracking down on high-capacity assault clips for my AR-15 brand musket

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                AR-15 isn’t a brand it’s just what the military calls their fully automated assault rifles

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                He did that to upset the other anon, it's bad bait.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                SIDEARM, b***hES

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                >expelliarmus again
                jk rowling you mad genius deleting gungays from existence trivially

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Exp-
                >*bang*
                >-ACK
                you were saying?

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                You know spells can be non-verbal, right?

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                BACK-UP, b***hES!!!!

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                Josh?

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                thats revolver ocelot. - revolver ocelot

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                >anon is so stupid he thinks he can talk faster than a man can pull a trigger

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          so drop a moab on everyone

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          You don't need to be up close as a muggle. You can just set up artillery with conventional shells. How is a wizzard stopping a 1 ton HE shell shot from a cruiser over 20 miles away. They might be able to beat "smart" weapons with electrical infetterence or some shit. Perhaps muggles were in the best place to fight wizzards around WW2. Imagine the allies and axis banding together to fight wizzards. Could be good be it a bit memey.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah but each time your shoot Voldemort he uses up one of his soul fragments encased in the horcruxes. It would take time, but shooting him each time he returned would do the trick.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        He didn't lose a horcrux when he suicided himself on baby harry.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          He actually gained an unintended horcrux IN Harry. Shooting voldemort wouldn't kill him, and even if you do manage to destroy his body, he can still survive as a malevolent spirit without "using up" any of his horcruxes. They aren't extra lives, but pieces of his soul that essentially keep him tethered to the world of the living and prevent him from crossing over. Now maybe you can nuke a horcrux, the objects themselves aren't invulnerable.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah but he was crippled for 14 years and didn't recover until he completed a wacky and complicated one-time resurrection ritual.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      Ok, but realistically. Will horcrux survive a nuke? Or even 10 kilos of tnt

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        yes

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      just kill him to death then kill all his followers that came out of the woodwork. Voldemorts only alive because his rat Black person minion was there to ressurect him

  9. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Pokemon dragoball etc. Harry potter was kinda like "eh thats neat" but was never like "omfg this blows my mind!!!"

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      [...]
      Animorphs
      Hardy Boys
      Artemis Fowl
      Pendragon

      [...]
      This and Yu Gi Oh, MtG.

      [...]
      I would have been even more obsessed with Animorphs and Digimon than I already was.

      [...]
      I might have got way more into Pokémon

      [...]

      harry potter saved adult me so much money, imagine being a card cuck endlessly shilling out money hoping to capture that one moment of happiness you had as a 12 year old opening a pokemon pack. meanwhile i play high quality video games faithfully recreating the castle.

      jk rowling thank you

  10. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    i read a ton as a kid, harry potter was just one of the many, many fantasy book series i read.

  11. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Animorphs
    Hardy Boys
    Artemis Fowl
    Pendragon

    [...]
    Pokemon dragoball etc. Harry potter was kinda like "eh thats neat" but was never like "omfg this blows my mind!!!"

    This and Yu Gi Oh, MtG.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Pendragon
      >Artemis Fowl
      My homie.
      I’m shocked they never adapted Pendragon. The fact that they haven’t despite it meeting diversity quotas before they existed tells me they only raceswap shit to provoke people.

      Also you forgot Redwall.
      Still pick up the books when I’m feeling beat sometimes.

  12. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

  13. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    why is it that every harry potter complaint i see always forgets the suspension of disbelief? its always real world comparison this, logic of someone who cant use music that
    every single time

  14. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Unless she just cast a spell to stop the hair growing, moron.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      there's probably some female wizard out there with a literal bush with magical tiny wildlife that sing songs when you frick

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah her name is Luna Lovegood.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous
    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      She wouldn't, it's not in her character, she's a witchy legbeard

  15. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >implying I spent my childhood reading this shit

  16. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    I would have been even more obsessed with Animorphs and Digimon than I already was.

  17. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Everworld, Seventh Tower, a series of unfortunate events, Narnia, a bunch of random short stories.
    There was a glut of YA series, even then.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >that time Violet just shot Count Olaf right in the fricking face

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >tfw they set fire to the house and make a clean getaway across the border only to realize they're in Canada

        Truly unfortunate

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      for me it was the edge chronicles

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Looks kino, will investigate.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          >The Edge Chronicles is a children's fantasy novel series written by Paul Stewart and Chris Riddell. It consists of four trilogies, plus four additional books, and other books
          some moron on Cinemaphile probably owns all these books

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        My Black

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        >floating island populated by all the aristocrats
        >city beneath them is where all the poor trash live
        i like this trope a lot. first encountered it with Alita and it's always stuck with me

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Everworld
      Hell yeah. I still like Senna even though she's objectively a b***h

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      >The Seventh Tower
      Absolutely stellar taste, anon. That has to be one of the most genuinely creative fantasy settings I've ever read, it sent my imagination wild as a kid.

  18. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Reminder that this was on the night of her 18th birthday.
    Makes you wonder what photos exist taken before then that couldn't be published.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      I remember an interview or something where she had said this was the first time the paparazzi had started lying down on the ground to get upskirt shots of her. She was 100% fair game at 18.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        I mostly meant accidental photos.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Wonder where her earliest slip could have been.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Was going to say that too. Same with leaks

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Ywn stumble upon Emma's old point and shoot camera in a thrift shop that still has the nudes she took for Tom Felton on it.

  19. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    why would you wear panties like that with a dress? if i was a woman i would be constantly paranoid about people seeing up my skirt or dress

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      anon, they know what they are doing and exactly what they want you to think when they do it

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      More importantly, why is her dress hiked up so high as she's getting out of her car. Just what was she doing...

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      She was hoping to get her first sexo as an adult. We could have been that mistake, bros...

  20. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Professor Dumbledore what spell did you just cast I can't move haha
    >Professor?
    >Professor what are you doing?
    >N-no professor please I'm still a virgin

  21. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Hermione pussy hair is confirmed, mod on Cinemaphile gargles my pee

  22. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    >ah a brilliant idea ms. Granger, but alas one that many other young bright muggleborn like yourself have also brought up.
    >you see, you are forgetting that Lord Voldemort was also raised by muggles, he knows the power of their guns and bombs first hand having grown up in London during the Blitz
    >he ensured no random muggle could best him by enchanting his robes to be impervious to bullets, not to mention how even a simple shield charm we teach to children can block a high powered round

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >enchanting his robes to be impervious to bullets
      His bald head doesn't have robes.
      >not to mention how even a simple shield charm we teach to children can block a high powered round
      Good luck waving your wand at 3500 feet per second while a 308 round rips through the air from half a mile away, making contact with your skull before you ever hear the shot.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >spergy /k/gay word salad that just amounts to 'nuh uh!'
        Wow so to win the war you just need to snipe every single enemy by surprise when they're not expecting it. Someone tell Ukraine! They're doing this all wrong!

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          Just one enemy. Hell, why not have people strap on suicide jackets and give him an explosive hug?

  23. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    i dont think they would have a problem with taking upskirt shots of a 17 year old if it wasn't against the law, stop crying

  24. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >What would you have spent your childhood on if you didn't have Harry Potter to enjoy?
    Cinemaphile, of course.

  25. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >bad: punish
    >good: reward
    >start punishing sex
    >start rewarding slaving away your life
    >result:

  26. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    ! Did you cum in the goblet of fire Harry?

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous
  27. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    [...]
    i dont think they would have a problem with taking upskirt shots of a 17 year old if it wasn't against the law, stop crying

    [...]
    >bad: punish
    >good: reward
    >start punishing sex
    >start rewarding slaving away your life
    >result:

    It means that we can make fornication illegal, not only we could, but we have to since it's moral, and not the fake arbitrary "moral" of 18 sun revolutions.

  28. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    >we're supposed to believe that Harry and Hermione didn't know ex-IRA guys who were decommissioning/burying all of their old weapons and explosives

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      More like
      >get on plane to America
      >buy gun
      >transfigure into a baseball cap
      >fly back to UK

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        They were 90s teenagers, they weren't that independent yet and Harry is Muggle poor but is a wizard billionaire.

        It's much easier shaking down ex-IRA guys who have accepted to go legit.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          I've seen it estimated that he probably had about $2M in real money

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >>we're supposed to believe that Harry and Hermione didn't know ex-IRA guys

      https://voca.ro/1aKEodpOGG90

  29. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    >but g-gun would totally kill wizards

    There is a reason why Expeliarmus, the disarming spell, is taught on first year

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >sniper blasts your brains all over the pavement
      Lotta good the smellyarmits did you, huh?

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >prep time
        ok batman

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >use Time Turner to go back in time
        >Apparate behind the sniper, wearing The Cloak of Invisibility and Elder Wand
        >cast Crucio until the Sniper can't handle the pain and shoot himself

        Nothing personal Mugglescum

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          Are you moronic?
          The time turner can't change things, that's not how it works.
          The time turner doesn't allow you to go back and make decisions that would impact the way things turn out, you're only able to do things that were already done.

          It's amazing how many idiots got filtered by this simple device.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            >you're only able to do things that were already done.
            From whose perspective? In PoA Harry thinks he sees his dad save him from the Dementors, only to later go back in time and realize it was him saving himself.

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              It's an objective fact.
              Harry thinks he sees his dad, but that doesn't have any effect on him going back in time.
              It's only when he realizes that it wasn't his dad, but himself that he saw, that he steps out and does what already happened.
              It was unavoidable, he HAD to go back and save himself because he was already saved.

              Pretty cool way to exclude free will from your universe

              I got news for you, it's excluded in this one too.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                >but that doesn't have any effect on him going back in time.
                True, but it does mean you can change the past, since Harry never would've made it to the point he could use the time turner without having first made it to the point he could use the time turner, which is impossible. Dumbledore used the time turner before they did to go back and make sure they'd use it to save themselves (originally they presumably didn't), which is why he tells Hermione that 'three turns should do it'.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                This is a common issue for people to get a handle on with the time turner.
                How could Harry have gone back to save himself if he weren't already saved by himself?
                How could Dumbledore know how far back to go if they hadn't already been there?

                This is what we call a causal loop, a repeating sequence with no possible beginning.
                The time turner itself functions on a perfectly logical set of rules, but its very function does necessitate the existence of said causal loops.

                This is just one of those moments where you have to suspend your disbelief and accept "it's magic I ain't gotta explain shit" as the literal canonical answer.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                It's less to do with how it works and the principles behind it, and more to do with the exact set of circumstances that take place at the end of the book being awkward.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                Oh it's awkward for sure, but it does logically pan out as long as you just handwave away the loop.
                It's the reason Rowling never used them again, it's too hard to keep the timeline straight and not have giant holes - which is why they all got conveniently destroyed in book 5.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                >which is why they all got conveniently destroyed in book 5
                It's also fricking hilarious because instead of making time turners an artifact nearly as rare as the Philosopher's Stone/Deathly Hallows, there were apparently dozens of them on a shelf all along.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                And they just handed one to a 14 year old girl.
                Nobody ever said Rowling makes sensible stories, just entertaining ones.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            Pretty cool way to exclude free will from your universe

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            >The time turner doesn't allow you to go back and make decisions that would impact the way things turn out, you're only able to do things that were already done.
            Harry literally goes back in time to save himself and Sirius from the Dementors in the forest which is something that would not have happened otherwise.

            • 7 months ago
              Anonymous

              yes but rowling hates trannies

            • 7 months ago
              Anonymous

              You're moronic, it already happened which allowed him to go back and do it.
              I'm not going to argue this with you, these are children's books you're being intellectually filtered by.

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            The moron is you anon. In poa potter and hermione go back and then save buckbeak and the rest. If you think that could be done only because turner allowed them to do what was already done... See the paradox? Two actually. One is they had to save bucky with a time turner for it to work but what started the first cycle if at some point there was no turner involved? Second paradox is you graduating elementary school while thinking and breathing at the same time is obviously a struggle for you.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      moron

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      I'm pretty sure Rawling herself said a wizard with a wand would lose to a muggle with a shotgun.
      The sole advantages wizards have are being able to fire their weapons with zero tells (wandless + nonverbal casting) and having mind-control to attack muggle leadership.

  30. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    I was always busy with school and family, so books were moreso something for bedtime. Harry Potter was okay, but my fondest memories are eating jumbo rockets under the covers with a booklet while reading the first Heroes of Olympus book. Unfortunately, the series doesn't withstand the test of time, and even tween me knew the series was garbage by Mark of Athena (book four).
    Anyway, read Discworld.

    [...]
    Animorphs
    Hardy Boys
    Artemis Fowl
    Pendragon

    [...]
    This and Yu Gi Oh, MtG.

    Are you me?

  31. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    There are no guns in england because they banned them dumb frick

  32. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Basically everything I spent my childhood on, since I only saw the first two movies and read none of the books.

  33. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    I might have got way more into Pokémon

  34. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    I always felt like the "just use a gun" sentiment was a bit odd. Wands are incredibly versatile and have almost the same functionality that guns do. It'd be a literal wave of a wand to nullify projectiles or deter gun use.

    Wizards using guns would be undeniably sick but it really wouldn't pan out... unless it were a magic gun.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      See

      >enchanting his robes to be impervious to bullets
      His bald head doesn't have robes.
      >not to mention how even a simple shield charm we teach to children can block a high powered round
      Good luck waving your wand at 3500 feet per second while a 308 round rips through the air from half a mile away, making contact with your skull before you ever hear the shot.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        A lot of the defense seen in the series is more in the moment (deflecting spells as they come) but if a wizard has to fight someone with a gun... then it seems like a no-brainer to cast a barrier or some protection spell into battle.

        And I imagine the response would be "what if the wizard was caught without a protection spell" and then you've looped back around because then a gun would serve the same purpose as casting Avada Kedavra.

        Wands just work well as guns as much as they are good at other stuff.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          The gun kills you before you have a chance to say a protection spell

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          I dont see wizzards lobbing avada kadavra's accross miles of open land like muggles do with shells, mate. Also I bet there will be some legion of wizzards on the muggle side that can help them circumvent dumb little barriers. There is no way wizzards would ever win. Wizzards don't innovate as is clear from the story but we muggles would have developed anit-wizzardy weapons within a year of war and they would all be in extermination camps by the end of the second year.

          Frick w*zzards! Muggle pride worldwide!

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          Wizards are vulnerable to bows and swords. There isn't any kind of protective spell that blocks them so I don't see one blocking guns.

          Voldermort could have just hired a junkie to murder harry and be done with it. He still would have all the other horcruxes.

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            voldemort and harry were intertwined by fate. only voldemort could kill harry, or vice versa. magical rules. kinda like how only mount doom lava could destroy the ring

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Wizards can go invisible, teleport, mind control and napalm bomb, guns are useless against such foes.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          No matter how much wizardry, teleport and mind control you pull, you cant do nothing when you're outnumbered 1000 to 1. That is why they try to remain secret. If muggles knew about them, they'd be instantly put in check or destroyed

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            If we're talking fully competent wizards they would have insurgent bases in soup cans buried in the desert and would teleport in only to release sentient homing nail bombs and unquenchable fire into population centers or to mind control, mind read or impersonate vital personnel. And there are many reasons to remain hidden, mainly because the wizards don't need anything from the muggles and don't want to exterminate them. There's nothing you can do against a foe who can go anywhere, hide in anything, disguise as anyone, and have zero identifying characteristics aside from being caught red handed warping reality.

  35. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    If Hermione is so intelligent why didn't she smuggle a gun into Hogwarts and kill Voldemort herself?

  36. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Is there anything more cringeworthy and gay than guys who ramble about how guns would kill everyone in harry potter? Aside from the complete lack of imagination about of all things, magic, "muh snipers muh 50 cals and 308s" only reminds me of kids who got bullied on call of duty.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Cry more about how your childhood wizard story holds no water when thought about logically

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Is there anything more cringeworthy and gay than guys who ramble about how guns would kill everyone in harry potter
      Yeah, the guy on Cinemaphile who comes into a thread about something that annoys him just to comment about how annoyed he is about the thread

  37. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    sex with witches

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      BIG WITCH _____

  38. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    hermoine becane rich smuggling in muggle supplies for the girls they had never heard of

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Witches just vanished their discharge between classes in the girls bathrooms. Of course, if you happened to get your period before you sixth year (the year in which they learned vanishing charms) you would be forced to just endure it unless you knew an older girl who liked you (likely as a result of sexual favors.)

  39. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Going outside and hanging out with my friends.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >go outside and hang out with friends
      >they're all talking about the new Harry Potter book and whose older brother has a copy they'd be willing to loan out

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Wow, that's a pretty neat image, anon. Check out mine.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        you fricker

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          >GOOD BYE, FRIEND OF HAGRID.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      >are you really free if your brain dictates your every action?
      as opposed to what?

  40. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why not use a radiation weapon? Wizards don’t even know what electricity is, much less gamma rays. They wouldn’t even know why their teeth are falling out and their veins leaking blood like a sieve

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      That would actually work shocking well.
      Just drop cores from a drone and watch them fall down dead.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      Because as someone already pointed out, Voldemort grew up in the muggle world, he was 19 when they dropped the bombs on Japan
      He knows what an atomic bomb is, what radiation is
      I'm actually very surprised he doesn't have custom spells that stimulate muggle warfare
      Imagine Voldemort just pointing his wand at you and and blasting you with lethal doses of radiation
      You have no idea what happened, then you start puking out your guts and burning up from the inside

  41. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    As early as year three, Hermione would have had a hairy pussy

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >odorius accio

  42. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Unleashes Dementors on the Muggle army
    The frick are they going to do about it?

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      What can a dementer do against a ginger?

  43. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >if you didn't have Harry Potter to enjoy?
    Even as a kid I thought it was frickin awful. I stopped reading the books in the first half on the fifth one. It was a damn chore I've put upon myself because my parents were obnoxious about it

  44. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Star Wars, Marvel, Manga and Anime were becoming a thing in the west at that time and there were already a handful of "magic academy" franchises there, the Potterverse pales in comparison to the mildest of Shonen Manga series.

    [...]
    >if you didn't have Harry Potter to enjoy?
    Even as a kid I thought it was frickin awful. I stopped reading the books in the first half on the fifth one. It was a damn chore I've put upon myself because my parents were obnoxious about it

    I tried reading one of those, the second one; shit feels like it's meant to be read to five year olds. I saw the movie and thought it was "okay" at the time, just not for me.

  45. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    i was 30 when the books came out, so meet up with friends, bmx to the gravel pits and jump off the gravel. we went to the swimming pool after never watched or read harry potter

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      >was 30 when the books came out
      Holy shit man, get out of this shithole already. I'm in my mid twenties and I feel too old for this place like half of the time.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        no. you'll be like me soon. The last movie i watched was Ace Ventura 2 when it was released

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      >30
      >riding bmx bikes
      >gravel pits
      >swimming pool
      >.. at 30 years old
      PSA: every moron LARP like this is some poo saying shit that doesn’t even come close to ringing true. Why? Because deep down every Indian is a scammer and swindler

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        no, i was talking about being young you dumb c**t. I grew up without the internet

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        >>at 30 years old

        No, not at 30 years old you illiterate dipshit. The question was how would you spend your childhood without Harry Potter and he answered how he spent his childhood ~15-20 years before the books came out.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      >was 30 when the books came out
      Holy shit man, get out of this shithole already. I'm in my mid twenties and I feel too old for this place like half of the time.

      no. you'll be like me soon. The last movie i watched was Ace Ventura 2 when it was released

      Samegay too

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      He wasn't asking about normal stuff every single generation does even though old dumbasses falsely complain that "kids today" don't. You really had no interests that weren't completely generic? No books, no movies, no television shows, no toys? You must have been the dumbest kid on the block.

  46. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Anything would've been better than being called "Harry Potter" because I was poor and wearing glasses.

  47. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Long before it was hebraically pozzed.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      Star Wars fans are even worse than potterheads.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Potterheads are fat HR workers, gays, troons, and single mom's fingering themselves with dragon dildoes and cleaning out their haunted coozes with their shitty wall mandalas while vaping.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          This is objectively wrong. I've inserted benis into two mom-tier women and while it's true that both of them owned at least one physical copy of HP, they weren't for recreational purposes. One was an ackshual mom who worked in banking and kept it around to entertain her child when she wasn't home, and the other was a uni language professor who used HP to organically supplement the introduction of literary English Eastern Euros

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            >aka I was given permission by the mom's black bulls for 2 minutes of me eating their pies out of their pussies while they waved their wands around aying 'Extracto spoogearamus".

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      >tfw born slightly too late to enjoy growing up in the 90s, yet slightly too early to be unaware of everything going to shit in the 10's.

  48. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    I guarantee that some wizard had a hot as frick mom and they made a polyjuice potion with her c**t hair to turn into her just to feel her breasts.

  49. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    'ARRRRRY POTTTERRRRR!

    IT'S BEEN HOW MANY YEARS NOW?
    HOW MANY YEARS OF DUMBLEDORE POSTING?!
    >He said calmly.

  50. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    As a kid, I was way more into Pokémon, Yugioh, and DBZ. I still am.

  51. 7 months ago
    Anonymous
  52. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Bro. Imagine a gun made from goblin silver. It could eat up spells and shoot them right back!

  53. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    >it's called social justice

    imagine lord voldefart but without his gang, because he was too white to be cool

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