What a terribly overrated movie. That transition is laughably bad and the story is borderline nonexistent. The soundtrack was good, but it's all held back by horrible special effects and amateurish writing. Still don't see how this is a board favorite. It sucks.
It makes sense for conan. Read The Pool of the Black One where his swordsmanship gets explained. He’s basically self taught and dosen’t actually have much technique but he’s so supernaturally strong and fast (because muh powerful noble white savage) that he can kill even the most skilled opponent without much trouble.
>Zaporavo was the veteran of a thousand fights by sea and by land. There was no man in the world more deeply and thoroughly versed than he in the lore of swordcraft. But he had never been pitted against a blade wielded by thews bred in the wild lands beyond the borders of civilization. Against his fighting-craft was matched blinding speed and strength impossible to a civilized man. Conan's manner of fighting was unorthodox, but instinctive and natural as that of a timber wolf. The intricacies of the sword were as useless against his primitive fury as a human boxer's skill against the onslaughts of a panther."
OP conveniently missed the subsequent scenes of him fighting in a pit and not knowing how to do anything but brute force moves to win, and gradually learning more tricks as he wins more fights, then being pulled to be specifically trained by masters in weapons, plus being taught literacy and philosophy, because that wouldn't support his shitty ass bait OP post as homosexual wiener gobbling OPs are always wont to do.
Read the original Robert Howard stories. They mog every other Conan property so hard it isn't even funny. Even the film only kinda-sorta captures their SOUL.
This movie is the ULTIMATE midwit filter. People with 95-105 IQs, who think they are the peak of human intellect, are the only ones who can dislike this movie. If you don't like it, do yourself a favor, go to reddit, write a 200 page thesis about how you're smart for not liking it, and everyone will clap and agree, and you'll be much happier there. Hell maybe you can turn it in to a 4 hour long video essay while you're at it. Get them sponsorships, bro.
>anon misses the part where he is sold to a guy and trained by teachers of the art of war and bred to the finest stock
lmao zoomies can't pay attention for more than 200 seconds
china approves
>bred to the finest stock
it never dawned on me until the last time i watched this that now that far eastern mongol kingdom had a bunch of half conans running around fighting in their army now. pretty based.
>thinks you need to be a master swordsman to get fit and hold a sword
well, frick your mother, c**t.
The movie is good.
Forgot about the part where a guy buys him and teaches him to be a gladiator and master swordsman.
It's an "op didn't watch the movie" episode.
It’s a newbie takes ridiculously obvious bait episode
Honest question anon, how new are you?
>hasnt pushed a wheel in his life
SAMURA
It's Zamora.
I've read Howard's work. The first Conan captures it perfectly. Second one gets kinda silly but still kino.
I wish Solomon Kane got the same kind of treatment but his movie was sort of shitty.
Can't imagine why.
>I was just pretending
gay
What a terribly overrated movie. That transition is laughably bad and the story is borderline nonexistent. The soundtrack was good, but it's all held back by horrible special effects and amateurish writing. Still don't see how this is a board favorite. It sucks.
It’s okay anon you can admit you’re a midwit, not everyone is lucky enough to be gifted with an exceptionally high/low IQ.
Post your five favorite films. Let's see what a high IQ looks like.
Conan and Starship Troopers
>can't even name five
Thanks lmao
>That transition is laughably bad and the story is borderline nonexistent.
you will never be a man
This board just has bad taste in general, same as with Cinemaphile
>was castrated by his mother and locked in the cellar while she fed him trays of her congealed piss for maximum oestrogen intake.
>That transition is laughably bad
Indeed
>Still don't see how this is a board favorite.
You should contemplate this .. on the tree of woe.
Lucas would fix it with a nice CG remaster edition.
It was a really big wheel.
4u
It makes sense for conan. Read The Pool of the Black One where his swordsmanship gets explained. He’s basically self taught and dosen’t actually have much technique but he’s so supernaturally strong and fast (because muh powerful noble white savage) that he can kill even the most skilled opponent without much trouble.
>Zaporavo was the veteran of a thousand fights by sea and by land. There was no man in the world more deeply and thoroughly versed than he in the lore of swordcraft. But he had never been pitted against a blade wielded by thews bred in the wild lands beyond the borders of civilization. Against his fighting-craft was matched blinding speed and strength impossible to a civilized man. Conan's manner of fighting was unorthodox, but instinctive and natural as that of a timber wolf. The intricacies of the sword were as useless against his primitive fury as a human boxer's skill against the onslaughts of a panther."
My thanks, friend.
I thought he turned into a failed talkshow host?
op is a gay, just came here to post conan frog.
very nice frog
another one!
Conan frog, what is best in life?
sn-horse, the open sn- sn- in your hair, sn- at your breast,
Well done, soldier! We appreciate your input.
Also OP is a massive enjoyer of penises.
Why is he on Mars?
he was recruited by Dr. Who to fight against the ice clans.
He was told to get his amphibi-ass to Mars.
yes, what's the problem op?
>like watching kino and good story telling
>hate symbols
every fricking time
OP conveniently missed the subsequent scenes of him fighting in a pit and not knowing how to do anything but brute force moves to win, and gradually learning more tricks as he wins more fights, then being pulled to be specifically trained by masters in weapons, plus being taught literacy and philosophy, because that wouldn't support his shitty ass bait OP post as homosexual wiener gobbling OPs are always wont to do.
I would have PUSHED her WHEEL for 20 years, if you know what I mean.
she looks like rod stewart
I know, sexy as frick.
do you think they...
Not just with her, I think.
forgot pic.
Is that the witch?
I jerked off to that 15 second scene.
>katanas
this eastern worship bullshit is nonsensical, european master swordmen are the best and their manuscripts unsurpassed
But you're gonna be hard pressed to find a better weapon for use against unarmed, and defenseless civilians
that makes sense
they don't use them for combat in the film. the sword master who trained the actors is a jap you frickwit
no wonder the sword fights are the worst part of the movies
>indirectly mentions the sequel
>probably thinks destroyer is the same level of quality
opinion discarded
>the Hollywood stunt coordinator that uses his swordsmanship for showbiz is a jap
Does that unprove his point?
america had zero sword culture, so they used a pow
>But muh 10times folded steel! but curved blades!
These women are too attractive we all know the kind of women Arnie likes.
Yeah. Mexican handmaidens.
>OP needs to push a wheel
If you're 8 feet tall and 300 pounds of muscle, you can probably just brute force 99% of people. MUH TECHNIQUE doesn't matter.
*throws javelin*
He got sent to China to learn swordsmanship, you disingenuous homosexual.
is pushing a wheel a viable option bros? I got a couple of them in my garage and they're pretty heavy
What movie is this?
moulin rouge
Got a decent rating on imdb, thanks buddy I'll check it out
you're welcome. the title is French for "Red windmill", that's what he's pushing. Red because of the blood.
enjoy
The best one
eventually i read the marvel conan comics and i found out he was a really good hunter in his village
>he was a really good hunter in his village
he was 5 years old when he got kidnapped in the movie
>read the comics
The Dark Horse run was kino, especially when Busiek was the writer. I wouldn't touch Marvel Conan, though.
Read the original Robert Howard stories. They mog every other Conan property so hard it isn't even funny. Even the film only kinda-sorta captures their SOUL.
also he would probably be scrawny, no way they'd feed slaves more than old bread and water
This movie is the ULTIMATE midwit filter. People with 95-105 IQs, who think they are the peak of human intellect, are the only ones who can dislike this movie. If you don't like it, do yourself a favor, go to reddit, write a 200 page thesis about how you're smart for not liking it, and everyone will clap and agree, and you'll be much happier there. Hell maybe you can turn it in to a 4 hour long video essay while you're at it. Get them sponsorships, bro.
what if im a midwit but love the film?
This movie was rated PG. She is so fricking beautiful first child hood crush
14 at the time off filming by the way.
Why were they feeding him hgh? 20 years and he turns into a hulk from just pushing the wheel?
?t=150
>You should pay attention to other cars!
>anon misses the part where he is sold to a guy and trained by teachers of the art of war and bred to the finest stock
lmao zoomies can't pay attention for more than 200 seconds
china approves
>bred to the finest stock
it never dawned on me until the last time i watched this that now that far eastern mongol kingdom had a bunch of half conans running around fighting in their army now. pretty based.
imagine how swole and swordmaster sisyphus is, he's been pushing a boulder (a type of 3d wheel) for thousands of years