Realistiically speaking, which one do you think would be the best to hench for?
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Realistiically speaking, which one do you think would be the best to hench for?
Easily Cobra.
Frankly, COBRA probably pays better and has better benefits than most megacorps these days, and is so widespread you may spend most of your life nowhere near GI JOE or anything really dangerous while you do your Evil Flunkie Job.
Fricking this. Like, Cobra is so far and away the best option that turning into a good guy is a better option than literally anyone else in that picture.
The only version of Megatron that might even be tolerable to hench for is G1 cartoon Megatron, maybe, if like one of his schemes involved using humans to fool the Autobots into doing something moronic (like the time humans convinced Autobots to launch themselves into the sun, but it was all Megatron's trickery). Otherwise it's him working you to death as an energon slave at best.
Skeletor might turn you into a magical super powered monstrosity, maybe? But it sucks. Mumm-Ra probably also sucks but I never got into that furshit so I assume working for a zombie furry would entail being a furry so getting crushed by Megatron is literally the superior option.
Shredder . . . like in the old ass TMNT movies he ran the Foot like a cult and Tetsu was a fricking butthole. It did not make being a ninja seem all that cool. In the comics you would probably get killed, or turned into a gay furry.
Honestly like fricking it's Cobra or nothing.
>megatron
Not the worst boss especially if you get results, his lieutenants are the real issue.
>mumm ra
Just an butthole
>skeletor
Also an butthole but more fun.
>cobra
Benefits, schooling, stable work, boss has a fat ass and wears spandex.
>shredder
You get to be a ninja.
Shredder. your enemies are few and youre relatively high up the corporate ladder since only him and Krang are smarter than you. Megatron doesnt take to Organics. Mumm Ra and Skeletor are too chaotic, and CC has you fighting against the Joes and has a large chance of getting you thrown into federal prison
Cobra. My dad was paralyzed from the waist down in Vietnam. I only exists cause he and his VA buddies signed up with Cobra and they put a chip in his back that lets walk and get an erection anytime he wants. Frick GI israelites.
Cobra Commander since it already showed us the henchmen get good shit and even get parachute training so they can escape exploding aircrafts
Cobra Commander is really underrated here. All the others are bad administrators or just plain schizo. Cobra put together the best end of cold war team he could if only he had a little more spine and told Destro "No, your moronic friend Dr.Dickblender can't join my terrorist organization". Speaking of Mindbender what was up with his shitty expensive plans? "Let's build and maintain a town full of brainwashed people!" Or "Let's dick around the world robbing grave so we can have a guy who's 5 seconds old tell us what to do!". He really is the weakest link.
Cobra Commander. He’s least likely to execute you for failure or screw you over on a deal, as long as you don’t try to usurp him. The competent versions of Shredder and Megatron are the “You have failed me for the last time” type that will straight up murder you. Both the competent and silly versions of Skeletor and MummRa will screw you over the second they think it will gain them something, regardless of your loyalty. For CC, don’t go gunning for his throne and yell “COBRA!” with some enthusiasm when trying to kill Joes, and you are good. Plus they got food, housing, medical, and training programs. Skeletor don’t care if you sleep in a dumpster outback and Shredder might kill you if you’re injured because they can’t take you to a hospital and you’ll slow them down.
>For CC, don’t go gunning for his throne and yell “COBRA!” with some enthusiasm when trying to kill Joes, and you are good.
Hell, even displaying a little self-interest isn't the worst trait for a Cobra trooper. Though charging into battle behind a latex clad Baroness, and I might cry out "For dat ass!"
I wonder how much they pay you
Terrorist shill thread
It's called MARKETING, you unwashed philistine. That's why your human potential will always be untapped and wasted on fools and morons. Unlike the people who take a chance to develop their leadership skills, and to sieze the money and power they've always deserved!
Look at the options though.
>Megatron
If you’re human he’ll eventually kill you or leave you to die. As a Decepticon you’re usually expected to die for him needlessly.
>Mumm-Ra
No benefits, nothing to gain from working for him, only real plus is he’s lenient on his grunts
>Skeletor
Treated like garbage, no benefits, expected to just be his slave and take beatings
>Shredder
A lot of versions, but usually you’re disposable and may be killed just as an example. Not to mention you get nothing but training.
Hama’s Cobra seems like a solid gig when it comes to henching.
>Good benefits
>Free housing and medical care
>Paid well
Only real risks are Joes and making the Commander mad.
Cobra assuming he's not in full on Cultist mode
Full on cultist mode is just the same as mum ra or skeletor. And they still pay better.
>Full on cultist mode is just the same as mum ra or skeletor. And they still pay better.
I'd say it's still better than any of the other options just that the odds of a horrifying demise go up by a fair amount compared to more regular Cobra Commander moods
Cobra.
Only ONE of those options gives you money for college and continuing education. Hell, cobra even has it's own correspondence education courses.
Megatron has troops, not "henchmen".