>receive a cordial invitation from the elves to decide the fate of middle earth
>abuse and exploit their gracious and generous hospitality
>although the conversation can become tense at times, everyone maintains their civility
>open your slack jawed, unwashed beard and spew phlegm everywhere as you drunkenly tell them to go frick themselves
What the frick was his problem?
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>In ancient days they (the Woodland Elves) had had wars with some of the dwarves, whom they accused of stealing their treasure. It is only fair to say that the dwarves gave a different account, and said that they only took what was their due, for the elf-king had bargained with them to shape his raw gold and silver, and had afterwards refused to give them their pay.
Elves are israelites who refused to pay for services rendered.
Is there any proof or just more drunken rambling by autistic grudge bearing elders?
>autistic grudge bearing elders
Whos word could be worth more? Autists dont lie and those grudges came from somewhere.
Because as we all know, drunks make for excellent and trustworthy marks of character. What most likely happened is some dwarf miscounted a payment because he's shitfaced, as usual, and riled up the rest of his slovenly moron brethren with his misplaced lies and hatred. It's a wonder any race in middle earth tolerates dwarfs, let alone works with them.
knife ear cope. Pay your fricking bills next time and not with acorns you damn hippie.
Who's israeliteing who here!?
>oy vey muh ancestors!!
>never forget the 6 billion gems we were deprived of!!
Is there any race more israeli than fricking dwarfs?
The elfs who skipped out on paying a bill because they believed theyre eru and the valars chosen people and above the rules of "lesser" races
They literally are the valar's chosen people though.
Both elves and men are Eru's chosen people thoughbeitever
>dwarves=jews
>Erebor=Israel
I haven't read the book in a while but I'm pretty sure this is a Jacksonism. In the book the elves and dwarves distrust each other but they're more polite about it.
Around Elves, Watch yourselves.
Slender, effeminate Elf fingers typed this post, pinkies up as they typed.
>proceeds to wipe out his entire society because he's too fat, moronic, drunk, and greedy to stop digging so deep
it's social commentary
Frick elves
he hadn't gotten his golden lady pubes yet
Asks for 1, gets 3, pawns it later for beer money.
>be proud race of high test manlets
>don't give a FRICK
>just want to make made gains, both in body and fiscally
>create elaborate dorf fortress dwarven fortresses
>knew elf days are numbered
>be called to suck up to some dusty mayo elf
>tell him to frick himself and the valar he rode in on
>don't even give half a frick about the ring or what happens to it
>win anyway
>fart audibly in a booming eruption
>go back to your underground empire to mine shit
I always liked the Dwarf origin and how they were the first race, technically. I forget which Valar made them tho. I know it was the smith, Sauron's previous master before Melkor, but I forget his name.
The reason elf and dwarf don't like each other cause Illuvatar was cheesed his servant, the Valar, made them before the awakening of the Elves and as such, enminity would always be between the two races.
Thanks Hackson.
i want to pull dwarf women stomach hair out with my teeth
>Apologies master dwarf, you must wear a blindfold when passing through our realm.
>You see, 5000 years ago some dwarves totally unrelated to you murdered an elf king totally unrelated to us because he tried to israelite them out of payment for their work
>no, they didn't escape, they were slaughtered like animals. Please put the blindfold on
Dwarves are absolute Black folk
remember the first Hobbit film?
Yes
pound for pound how much stronger is an elf than a dwarf?
My headcanon is that a dwarf will beat an elf in arm wrestling but will lose in a 1v1 fight
All it takes to beat a dorf is hiding their booze. Within 5 minutes they'll be throwing a proper autism tantrum about their father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's beer being stolen.
In the books it's implied that Gandalf/Aragorn/Galadriel could definitely use the ring and the defeat Sauron, however they would then become corrupted. So what? What's Aragorn going to do, get orcs to torture the people of Gondor for no reason? Sauron himself was able to ally with other nations of men, so it's not like he was mindlessly fricking them over.
In fact, what would Sauron do if he won? Kill all men, elves, dwarves, trees, then collect taxes from the orcs? Sounds pretty boring.
What was Sauron's tax policy?
Slave labor. You dont need taxes when your can just get the work done for free.
Aragon already acts like a smug dick in subtle ways in the books. Presumably if he obtains the Ring he will become cold and arrogant, overwork his people, overstretch his armies, ignore his allies etc etc eventually becoming a cruel despot
Sounds bad, but it's weird they didn't give it more thought compared to the 1% chance of success 99% chance of everybody dies plan they went with.
What other choice did they have?
From a risk/reward perspective I think most people would choose to live under a cruel Aragorn than gamble everybody's lives on sending Frodo to the heart of Mordor.
Except Sauron would still live as long as the ring exists. Aragorn would become his puppet in time. Did you not read the fricking books?
Ofcourse he didnt. How else would he come up with moronic posts like
The explicit point is that the ring only has one master, you cannot use it, it can only be destroyed or returned to sauron. Just being near it causes people to lose themselves, what do you think happens if someone actually puts it on without a pure heart and halfling resilience?
>the ring only has one master, you cannot use it
Then why did Saruman, the most intelligent being in middle earth, seek it out specifically for that purpose? moron.
Because he was already corrupted by lust for power and became a moron, moron.
Except he was never in contact with the ring. From whence came the corruption? Your logic is flawed, wienersucker.
>From whence came the corruption?
That's not the RING you CHARCOAL CONGO Black person.
>write me a shitpost worthy of Reddit
Because hes both arrogant and corrupted you fool. Did you miss the part where Gandalf was reborn as Saruman was ment to be?
Think of it this way :
You're embedding into yourself a large chunk of Satan, thinking that it will not really be that bad.
Also Satan placed most of himself into that chunk.
>In the books it's implied that Gandalf/Aragorn/Galadriel could definitely use the ring and the defeat Sauron
do you know what Sauron's power is?
don't trust a word of anything having to do with him. Assuming the worst the only thing you can do, and even then you could be fricking yourself and not know it.
Do you think Frodo got to bang elf women in the undying lands? Kind of fricked up that he (and Bilbo) die virgins as far as we know.
There's no way Frodo and Bilbo didn't get some hairy hobbit tail in their wild and rich youth. But I assume in Valinor you feel bliss way above sexual pleasure
merry and pippin did all the sexo being the tallest hobbits
I can't believe I'm sharing my board with elf sympathizers
I'm specifically a Noldor sympathiser, remember all the elf-dwarf beef comes from filthy Sindar subelfs who have never even been to Valinor. Noldor and dwarves are bros
So does Arwen get to go to the same afterlife as Aragorn, or is she doomed to elven oblivion?
The former. She gave up her elven immortality to be with him.
Alright, I thought it might have been a human-specific afterlife, not mortal-specific
>*goes to heaven*
Have fun arguing about gold or whatever earthly concerns you losers have, we'll be too busy enjoying the greatest gift that could ever be given. In fact, do dwarves even have souls? I mean, they're just knockoffs made of dirt.
Sauron was looking for the ring. He knew it was in the possession of a hobbit. His forces caught Frodo sneaking into Mordor, although Sam took it before the orcs could. Why did he think Aragorn had the ring and not the more likely scenario of there being another hobbot alongside Frodo who evaded capture?
>tall, uppity mutt squares up with your bro
>rush him without hesitation
For me it's this guy.