What are the best Movies/TV about Ancient Rome?
What stories find the perfect balance between historical accuracy and engaging plot?
Pic unrelated, Spartacus is fun as hell (and Illythia is waifu-tier) but it's not high art by any means.
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Rome
Good thread, this
Barbarians season 1, Rome - that's literally it
>Barbarians
>Make a show about Teutoburg massacre
>The actual massacre only takes 15 minutes in the show, most of which is slow-motion action with some butthole monologuing over it.
>99% of the show is stupid soap opera love triangle drama involving STRONG WOMAN Barbarian, real historical figure and a moron.
That show was such a huge fricking disappointment. The show should've been all about the Teutoburg forest massacre because it took days to kill all the remaining romans and the last remaining them assembled a quick fort and final desperate and futile defence line. The story almost plays out like a horror story for the romans. Being isolated and lost deep in a rainy forest while few escaping stragglers of other columns bring news of ambush and massacre.
Finns used the same exact strategy in Raate road battle hundreds of years later, isolating pockets of soviet columns and massacring all soldiers of the large soviet army down to the last man.
>>The actual massacre only takes 15 minutes in the show, most of which is slow-motion action with some butthole monologuing over it.
>>99% of the show is stupid soap opera love triangle drama involving STRONG WOMAN Barbarian, real historical figure and a moron.
Exactly what I expected. I'm glad I didn't get hoodwinked into spending any amount of time watching it.
Watching the show with subtitles on was the draw for me. It's Darmok at Jalad tier, in it's exploration of the importance of language, the pitfalls of assuming someone else has the same values as you -- or no values -- and how language can be both manipulation and salvation.
Teutoburg could have been a full game of thrones intrigue show just for the aftermath and the infighting that ensued. Plus the consequences in Rome.
>be Germans
>win a battle that amounted to deception + ambush deep in your own territory
>sing praise about it for 2000 years
>seem to forget the part following it where Rome crushed them over and over and would have likely killed them all if the Emperor didn’t get jealous of how many Germans a potential rival was killing
Why are they like this?
Season 2 is ten times worse, they have fricking Germanicus and Tiberius as capeshit tier villains and a niggress archer in 1st century Germania because Larry Fink or some shit? Embarrassing stuff really, germans in general shouldn't try to make anything artistic at all
Fricking hell
Barbarians was extremely boring.
I thought it was cool they actually used Latin.
Rome
And what of good Solonius?
Good solonius stands fricking roman
going to have to watch this show again.
can't believe he never actually says "and what of good solonius" I am broken
>that one anon who watched all of Rome waiting for Solonius to appear
What? I am sure he does, I am sure I remember him saying that. It was some scene where Batiatis was doing well finally and Solonius was close by and asked "and what of good Solonius?" because he had helped in some way. I don't remember the details but surely this happened.
based good Solonius poster
>google tv shows about rome
>first fricking result is rome
Zoomies are so stupid lmao
>looking for quality
>dedicate hours of view time to first google result just in case
Generation X deserves their oncoming dementia.
This is why you're moronic
You can't even process the information fast enough to make an informed decision
Skill issue
nah, dedicate five minutes to doing research, which you will still have to do with whatever recommendations you get from here. the thing about zoomers is you supposedly grew up on the internet but you are less equipped to actually navigate it than an octogenarian. full-on "where do i click again, honey?" grandma mode, with no dementia to blame it on
Gen Y grew up together with the internet. Gen Z grew up with the internet already being a full-grown thing that they were shown and exposed to through filtered experiences but it's not something they grew up together with.
Unless something changes in the future gen Y will be the most tech savvy generation
Just ignore the old man yelling at the cloud.
>Gen Y grew up together with the internet. Gen Z grew up with the internet already being a full-grown thing that they were shown and exposed to through filtered experiences but it's not something they grew up together with.
>Unless something changes in the future gen Y will be the most tech savvy generation
The most tech savvy gen should have been Gen X, because Gen X lived before idiocracy style GUI, in the era of BBS, Usenet and the Bastard Operator from Hell. Gen Y lived through the assassination of the old no holds barred internet into Web 2.0 but don't really appreciate the consequences of what they witnessed. They are blooms cut too soon.
Gen Z is fully integrated into Web 2.0 and social media and can run circles around X and Y -- but use their powers for inane attention seeking stunts like Carlee Russells's fake abduction in front of multiple CCTV cameras or Elliott Rogers inane sorority school shooter stunt.
spoken like a true zoomer
frick we're doomed
>half the thread is stupid generation war bullshit because one anon got butthurt about his hairline and erectile dysfunction and decided to take it out on the summergays
I Claudius.
only one mention of I Claudius.
its being shown again on BBC4 from this weekend. Hoping its been remastered
We saw a roman public toilet and people wiping their ass with scooper sticks, if spartacus isn't high art I dont know what is and it's set in the city of Capua which is known for its gladiators.
Rome without a doubt.
Spartacus is honestly probably my second choice.
To some extent The Chosen. It's not Rome-based but in a setting under the thumb of Rome.
>The Chosen
I've heard this is good beyond being Christian media, and has actual production value. Anyone else seen it?
I prefer that passolini one for a long form story about jesus’ life but this one is pretty good.
I watched it with my gf who grew up completely unaware of Christianity and still knows almost nothing about it and she still thought it was a good show.
There's some moments where it can be a bit grating and there's some cringey "youth group" feeling moments when the disciples are sitting around chatting but otherwise pretty good.
It's honestly just refreshing to have something in a new setting.
Its one of the most realistic depictions of the Gospel, they dont treat it like shlock and include lots of historical facts. Deff worth a watch.
The Chosen is pretty fascinating because it explores Jesus life long before the Crucifixion and in between a lot of the various gospel stories
Most folks focus on his crucifixion or brush over his life. This one is pretty interesting seeing both what life was like. What the power structures of the world Jesus was living in was like. How it would look seeing him gain followers and talking to people etc
>but it's not high art by any means
Words fall from your mouth like shit from ass
Romans were pretty fricking degenerate in awesome funny way.
There was a job in ancient rome called "Orgy planner"
Orgy planner had the authority to create the best orgy experience for guests. He could choose women, drinks, food, music etc. He could choose who fricks who and when.
>the orgy planner put you with your sister again
Why does it keep happening??
It was a different time.
An orgy was just a roman word for party. Sure, there was fricking, but that's for most parties. We later started calling gangbangs orgies.
>illythia
doesnt she basically do onlyfans on some kind of fan website?
I doubt it she's super walled by now
still hot
She's mommyposting on insta now
Feels like she should have become more famous, her wikipedia says she's done nothing for at least 5 years.
Maybe if she'd been on a more prestigious 'swords and breasts' show like GoT she'd have got a bit more exposure.
Cute, is she single?
Imagine what the dog smells
She used to schizo post on twitter about all men being rapists and other feminist nonsense.
>She used to schizo post on twitter about all men being rapists and other feminist nonsense.
I can't imagine why you actually know this. Who wastes their life following Z list "celebrities"
It was posted on Cinemaphile.
And she suddenly stopped after having a kid?
proper milf, OF when?
Plus it has motorcycles
Is that as goid as Romeo + Juliet?
She looks exactly the same. Too many clothes, though.
>This was your average female tv cast in Hollywood just a decade ago
It's amazing how American culture is speedrunning its decline.
Weren't some of the girls just escorts they hired?
This show was produced in Australia, but don't let that stop you crying about fictional white genocide.
Saxa was insane. She reminds me of the chick in Barbarians. Do German women really have a reputation of no fricks given confidence in their sexuality and femininity? Why aren't they classed with Italian women or French women for earthiness?
Because tv isn't real life?
delete that ugly prostitute on the bottom left that RUINED the series
Was it average though? Spartacus is pretty well known for casting super hot women.
Post that girl with the perfect breasts.
Muh fuggen dik.
I wonder where those breasts are now
Sadly, not in my face.
she's doing some livestream shit named slave girl or something
Some of the greatest breasts I have ever seen
She has the breasts of a 16 year old Namibian virgin.
>Hey mom, I finally got my big break in Hollywood!
When is a movie/show about Rome gonna depict some good ol' fashioned boyfuggin?
Watch Fellini Satyricon
Fellini’s Satyricon is gay kino
that didn't have movies or TV in ancient rome
Atia fricking ruined me
Jennifer Lawrence ain't looking so hot these days
I, Claudius.
This b***h stole the show. Then Caligula was even better. Amazing stuff.
KINO
They'd be so happy to know people remember them 2000 years later.
According to modern historians recent findings they were actually just super gay
apparently the quote that says "today i made bread" was actually a joke about taking a shit
JUNO'S c**t!!!
VAXXED
rip andy