You have to shitpost continuously on Cinemaphile but if you don't get post right as the cooldown timer ends or you mistype the really tiny captcha one of your fingers gets cut off.
>the set for the bathroom in Scary Movie 4 was so good that it was used for the flashback scenes in Saw 3 because the original set had been destroyed after the first Saw
Kino
you have to eat one bigmac per hour for two weeks, otherwise all your friends and relatives receive a transcript of everything you searched for on porn sites along with a hidden cam pic of yourself in that moment, 1 pic & 5 search terms for every skipped bigmac
I think the sleep schedule would be the worst after 3 or 4 days. Sleeping for 30 minutes out of sheer exhuastion before waking up to eat another fricking Big Mac.
A bunch of people wake up in a grain silo. There are hooks hanging from the ceiling but not enough for everyone. A countdown starts and suddenly the grain starts to drain out. The only way to escape it is to hold onto to the hooks or they'll get pulled under.
I don't know how the "you can really survive this if you think" twist would kick in. Maybe the group could just hold onto to each other and avoid getting pulled under? Also maybe the hooks are covered in broken glass or something so it's hard to hold on.
The hooks are curved blades, razor sharp all the way around. The only way not to fall in is to impale your hand or wrist so you can bear your weight without the hook just ripping through
anon, you have wasted the prime years of your life stuck inside on the computer posting irreverent crud on message boards instead of going out and socialising with people and women. the contraption you are in is a simple desk and computer chair from an office supply store. there are no restraints and you may leave at any time, the bonds holding you here are only of your own making.
you must make a choice, to leave this place and become a functioning member of society, make friends in the real world, contribute to the betterment of mankind, and find some fulfillment to feed the pit of eternal dread you foster within. or, you may remain here and suffer a fate worse than death. you have the rest of your life to make your choice.
why does this make me feel nothing. is it poorly written or do i just not care about gays assuming talking to a woman or hanging out with people is any better than sitting in a room doing nothing.
>wake up in bathroom with hands bound behind you and ballgag in your mouth >hello Anon, I'd like to play a game >you are breathing in a deadly nerve agent >the only antidote is in the puppet's pants >live or die, the choice is yours
>Hello chud, I want to play a game >For years you have shit up Cinemaphile with the claim that trannies are being paid en masse to disagree with you about your opinions about television shows and films >In doing so you have ruined a once good website with moronic fringe political beliefs and paranoia >In front of you is a lever connected to a buzzsaw and an electric drill >Simply pull the level to release yourself >In doing so you will be castrated and have a hole drilled where your scrotum once was >Will you die a man, or become the very thing you hate? >You have 60 seconds to decide >Let the games begin
uhh sweetie, transgendered folx aren't just men who cut their dick and balls off and poke a hole there... they are REAL women who have to undergo multiple sex rearrangement surgeries and take years of medication to finally become the beautiful butterflies they deserve to be.
Similar premise, but you have to shit it up the claim that anyone who doesn't except raceswaps, and preachy garbage that beats you over the head is a ""chud"", a caricature with beliefs held by people spanning the political spectrum, but most importantly for some reason in the shitty meme pictures, and garbage posts you make he must connect everything, even issues not dealing with race, to "white genocide".
Suction cup dildo attached to a door. The victim is forced to slide themselves onto it analy. On the other side is an old lady. She is told to open the door and when she does she is so shocked she slams the door closed, thus reinserting the dildo at immense speed into the victims anus. May possibly have limited effect on gays or trannies
>Hello anon, I want to play a game >You've been on janny's ass every day for the past 8 years >Now penance must be offered >I have injected you with a virus that will kill you in sixty seconds >There are two syringes in front of you, one containing the antidote, the other containing cyanide >Live or die, the choice is yours
There is cyanide in both syringes, jigsaw removes his mask and reveals himself to be janny
>hello anon >for your acts against the jannys >you will be shot by a gun for the amount of money you've taken from jannys paychecks >*click*
Nothing happens......
anon, you preach repeatedly to countless redditors about trusting the hecking science!!1!, you have been injected with an untested unapproved novel mrna vaccine. you have a choice to either accept science is fallible or you may continue to smugly post about how much more clever than the orange man you are. this trap is unwinnable, in two more weeks you will die of unrelated cause which is notably unusual in your age demographic.
I’m really glad writers are on strike and I really hope we never get a new Saw film from those pompous, prissy hollow skulls. They’ll just shit on the franchise, make most of the cast black, and something gay people something waman somethin
>Infront of you are 2 men, one named Sneed one named Chuck >You need to find out which is which but you are only allowed to ask one question which both will answer >Please also keep in mind that Sneed always lies whereas Chuck is an honest man >If you choose wrong or fail to make a decision in 60 seconds the room you're in will explode
>Hello Suzy >You have been a very naughty nurse, stealing and selling narcotics to feed your shopping sprees >In ten seconds the corpse in front of you will reanimate and rape you with a giant glowing wiener >To live, you must achieve orgasm >If he comes before you do... you will die
>Hello fatso, your entire existence from elementary school to now has been one of gluttony at last count you weighed over 500lbs
>Today you'll get the workout of your life or death...in front of you is a recumbent bicycle specially reinforced to support your weight
>Across the room you'll notice a gate with a digital clock on it, whenever you slow down that timer starts counting down when it hits zero you'll be surrounded by wild boars much like you they're starving and they'll eat anything in their path...I call this "The Pig Pen".
Lmao easy, I finish filing in 9 hours, it's just 3x2 hour long movies of basically Texas, Dallas lined up in a row going absolute ham on his ass. I'll broadcast it free on national television and an audio book version for a few am radio stations
Hello, anon. I want to play a game. I see you have a problem with people who identify as anything other than the gender they were assigned at birth. You have made your hatred towards trans people clear for all to see, and now it is time you faced that hatred head on.
You have been drugged and placed in a situation where you must accept a trans woman's gender identity. To do so, you must make love to her and prove to yourself that it is normal, acceptable, and even pleasurable to have sexual contact with a trans woman. Your survival depends on your ability to overcome your own bigotry and preconceived notions about gender. Live or die, the choice is yours.
Jigsaw isn't a homosexual and doesn't feed people's delusions, he makes them accept the truth. He'd more likely put a troony in a trap where the only way to get out is to prove themselves a man. That or He'd go the other route and make them cut their own dick off.
Basically. Vietnam protestors actually had balls and went to jail for their beliefs. What happened to the American publics balls, they drop off or something?
Saw puts one of the jokers in a trap then tells the others what to do and say. If they don't do it Sal is lowered into a pit full of cats with rabies. Joe has to come out of retirement to save his friends.
>Forced to mod /b/ for 72 hours straight or your mom will die in her sleep tonight if you don't reply to this post with "Please don't kill me, Mr. Jigsaw!".
The medical business loves draining people of cash while providing nothing but false promises.
So to exit the trap they have to donate a certain amount of blood. They donate so many pints then the goalpost is moved. Jigsaw needs more blood for some phony reason that highlights their schemes. They fight amongst themselves. Jigsaw keeps moving the goalpost until he sucks them dry.
Tbh, I have had this day dream in my head after reviewing cases of Giveaway Scammers.
>you are completely unbound and nothing hinders your escape, infact, I've already provided you with multiple weapons and tools you won't even need just to feel secure >all you must do is step around Warwick Davis without causing any h- >c-could you let me finish, you didn't have to hurt him, just walk pas- >i-is there a problem with the speaker, maybe he can't hear u-
>Hello anon >For your crime of posting women with no ass online >You are surrounded by 12 chubby women >If you don't have sex with all of them your dick will be chopped off
>Hello Janny, for years now you have considered yourself a one man army fighting for order and structure. Today I give you the chance to lead by example. Before you is a computer desktop already connected to Cinemaphile's television and film board, to earn your freedom you need only create a new thread and see it pass the bump limit. But be warned, for every 3 minutes that pass with you still in this room another bitminer will be activated and the thermal output of this machine's AMD processor will sharply rise. Can you remain true to the values you have enforced upon others or will you slowly be cooked alive by your own lack of imagination? Live or die, the choice is yours >...Oh, one last thing. In the adjacent room there are five people in a predicament similar to yours, only they have been given strict instructions to keep the board clear of all off-topic and pornographic material, it is a blue board after all. However, these individuals have not been poisoned, nor are they playing for their freedom or any other remuneration. In fact, you might even say they're doing it for free
>Hello anon >For your crime of posting Knock Knock memes on Cinemaphile >You are tied to a bed and Ana De Armas and Lorenza Izzo are waiting outside >In order to escape you have to let them frick you
>Hello Anon >for too long you've been making fun of British culture, and it's time to reap what you sow >in front of you is a table filled with British delicacies >bacon that isn't bacon, and it's wet for some reason >bland white bread slathered in lukewarm beans and tomato sauce >flavorless brown water called tea, and when I say flavor, I'm thinking about the word spelled with a "u" >after you eat every single bite, you have to take a shower in the upstairs bathroom >however... finish all the food quickly, or the perfectly set temperature will either be scolding hot... or freezing cold >Oh, and you'll want to get out of here fast... the licence for the TV you're currently watching... hasn't been paid
Hello anon. I want to play a game. For years you've imagined the smell on Cinemaphile - Television and Film and amassed a 2 terabyte collection of celebrity pictures. Imagine no more.
In front of you protruding from the wall are the asses, legs, feet, and hands of 14 different actresses. To your left - nametags of these 14 actresses. To your right - a handbook containing a detailed itinerary of each actresses day down to the minute before they were bound along with current biological plus dietary information.
In two hours the room will start filling with a deadly nerve agent. Upon naming all 14 of them correctly you will be freed. Well anonymous, will your particular set of skills save you from ruin? Or will this be the last time you "imagine the smell"?
You have to shitpost continuously on Cinemaphile but if you don't get post right as the cooldown timer ends or you mistype the really tiny captcha one of your fingers gets cut off.
so the captcha’s smaller for others, too. i thought i was losing it.
yeah wtf is going on with that
The only reason I'd ever purchase a Cinemaphile pass.
>the set for the bathroom in Scary Movie 4 was so good that it was used for the flashback scenes in Saw 3 because the original set had been destroyed after the first Saw
Kino
Lmao is this real? SM4 wasn't that good but that trivia is 100% kino
That's what the trivia page for Scary Movie 4 on IMDB says.
you have to eat one bigmac per hour for two weeks, otherwise all your friends and relatives receive a transcript of everything you searched for on porn sites along with a hidden cam pic of yourself in that moment, 1 pic & 5 search terms for every skipped bigmac
>you have to eat one bigmac per hour for two weeks
I don't think that's physically possible without intermittent vomiting.
if anyone here is willing to provide funding, i am willing to attempt this.
Funny you should say that, I've been looking up vomit porn
You don’t have to keep them down you just have to eat them
I think the sleep schedule would be the worst after 3 or 4 days. Sleeping for 30 minutes out of sheer exhuastion before waking up to eat another fricking Big Mac.
That's a fairly small amount of bigmacs for an average-sized person I'd say?
American detected.
Do I have to eat exactly once every hour or can I eat 8 of them and then go to sleep?
Guess they all get to watch random straight porn and find out I kinda like hustler magazine once a month
Lol
That's really not an unreasonable amount of food for the average person.
fat frick
What's the lesson here?
A bunch of people wake up in a grain silo. There are hooks hanging from the ceiling but not enough for everyone. A countdown starts and suddenly the grain starts to drain out. The only way to escape it is to hold onto to the hooks or they'll get pulled under.
I don't know how the "you can really survive this if you think" twist would kick in. Maybe the group could just hold onto to each other and avoid getting pulled under? Also maybe the hooks are covered in broken glass or something so it's hard to hold on.
The hooks are curved blades, razor sharp all the way around. The only way not to fall in is to impale your hand or wrist so you can bear your weight without the hook just ripping through
Hell yeah! Maybe that or piano wire that cuts them as they hang from it? I think nooses could be worked into this too but I'm not too sure how.
anon, you have wasted the prime years of your life stuck inside on the computer posting irreverent crud on message boards instead of going out and socialising with people and women. the contraption you are in is a simple desk and computer chair from an office supply store. there are no restraints and you may leave at any time, the bonds holding you here are only of your own making.
you must make a choice, to leave this place and become a functioning member of society, make friends in the real world, contribute to the betterment of mankind, and find some fulfillment to feed the pit of eternal dread you foster within. or, you may remain here and suffer a fate worse than death. you have the rest of your life to make your choice.
Don't worry Jigsaw, I'm gonna leave tomorrow.
why does this make me feel nothing. is it poorly written or do i just not care about gays assuming talking to a woman or hanging out with people is any better than sitting in a room doing nothing.
It's all a sham.
>instead of going out and socialising with people and women.
>people and women
What did jiggy mean by this?
Uh oh he let his power level slip
>wake up in bathroom with hands bound behind you and ballgag in your mouth
>hello Anon, I'd like to play a game
>you are breathing in a deadly nerve agent
>the only antidote is in the puppet's pants
>live or die, the choice is yours
>the puppet is not wearing pants
Rigged
The twist is that the antidote is literally sewn inside the puppet's pants. The victim realizes too late that they didn't have to do anything sexual
All of his victims are israelites and there is a quarter glued to the floor in the middle of the room. That's it.
Oy vey, annudah shoah!
>Hello chud, I want to play a game
>For years you have shit up Cinemaphile with the claim that trannies are being paid en masse to disagree with you about your opinions about television shows and films
>In doing so you have ruined a once good website with moronic fringe political beliefs and paranoia
>In front of you is a lever connected to a buzzsaw and an electric drill
>Simply pull the level to release yourself
>In doing so you will be castrated and have a hole drilled where your scrotum once was
>Will you die a man, or become the very thing you hate?
>You have 60 seconds to decide
>Let the games begin
uhh sweetie, transgendered folx aren't just men who cut their dick and balls off and poke a hole there... they are REAL women who have to undergo multiple sex rearrangement surgeries and take years of medication to finally become the beautiful butterflies they deserve to be.
Similar premise, but you have to shit it up the claim that anyone who doesn't except raceswaps, and preachy garbage that beats you over the head is a ""chud"", a caricature with beliefs held by people spanning the political spectrum, but most importantly for some reason in the shitty meme pictures, and garbage posts you make he must connect everything, even issues not dealing with race, to "white genocide".
… What?
Seemed pretty clear to me.
So the moral is that SRS is a torture method?
kino
Suction cup dildo attached to a door. The victim is forced to slide themselves onto it analy. On the other side is an old lady. She is told to open the door and when she does she is so shocked she slams the door closed, thus reinserting the dildo at immense speed into the victims anus. May possibly have limited effect on gays or trannies
>Hello anon, I want to play a game
>You've been on janny's ass every day for the past 8 years
>Now penance must be offered
>I have injected you with a virus that will kill you in sixty seconds
>There are two syringes in front of you, one containing the antidote, the other containing cyanide
>Live or die, the choice is yours
There is cyanide in both syringes, jigsaw removes his mask and reveals himself to be janny
>t.lonely troony
>hello anon
>for your acts against the jannys
>you will be shot by a gun for the amount of money you've taken from jannys paychecks
>*click*
Nothing happens......
At least it's not whoppers.
anon, you preach repeatedly to countless redditors about trusting the hecking science!!1!, you have been injected with an untested unapproved novel mrna vaccine. you have a choice to either accept science is fallible or you may continue to smugly post about how much more clever than the orange man you are.
this trap is unwinnable, in two more weeks you will die of unrelated cause which is notably unusual in your age demographic.
moron
It's been done.
I’m really glad writers are on strike and I really hope we never get a new Saw film from those pompous, prissy hollow skulls. They’ll just shit on the franchise, make most of the cast black, and something gay people something waman somethin
you have to find a good Wes Anderson film or you die, you have your whole life to achieve this goal
>Saw film set entirely on a train
Could it work? Final trap would involve pulling one of those big ass brake levers.
It could be a group thing like Saw 2 where they progress from one carriage to the next but I can’t really think of anything to spice it up
that's good enough
probably better than the new movie
Smallville did some SAW train Kino https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iJPkAs61Qns&pp=ygUXU21hbGx2aWxsZSBsaW9uZWwgdHJhaW4%3D
>lionel almost dies to a lionel
pottery
>Infront of you are 2 men, one named Sneed one named Chuck
>You need to find out which is which but you are only allowed to ask one question which both will answer
>Please also keep in mind that Sneed always lies whereas Chuck is an honest man
>If you choose wrong or fail to make a decision in 60 seconds the room you're in will explode
>Hello Suzy
>You have been a very naughty nurse, stealing and selling narcotics to feed your shopping sprees
>In ten seconds the corpse in front of you will reanimate and rape you with a giant glowing wiener
>To live, you must achieve orgasm
>If he comes before you do... you will die
You have to go 40 days without sex, fail this challenge and your head explodes (With the sex detector bomb placed in your skull.) Let the games begin
Come on, Jignig.
You know that's impossible. Who could possibly go that long without sex?
>Hello fatso, your entire existence from elementary school to now has been one of gluttony at last count you weighed over 500lbs
>Today you'll get the workout of your life or death...in front of you is a recumbent bicycle specially reinforced to support your weight
>Across the room you'll notice a gate with a digital clock on it, whenever you slow down that timer starts counting down when it hits zero you'll be surrounded by wild boars much like you they're starving and they'll eat anything in their path...I call this "The Pig Pen".
>joke isn't that you die from heart failure
You had ONE (one) job!
something like this
You have to make a new trilogy of saw films before tobin bell dies
Lmao easy, I finish filing in 9 hours, it's just 3x2 hour long movies of basically Texas, Dallas lined up in a row going absolute ham on his ass. I'll broadcast it free on national television and an audio book version for a few am radio stations
Dumb esl poster
Hello, anon. I want to play a game. I see you have a problem with people who identify as anything other than the gender they were assigned at birth. You have made your hatred towards trans people clear for all to see, and now it is time you faced that hatred head on.
You have been drugged and placed in a situation where you must accept a trans woman's gender identity. To do so, you must make love to her and prove to yourself that it is normal, acceptable, and even pleasurable to have sexual contact with a trans woman. Your survival depends on your ability to overcome your own bigotry and preconceived notions about gender. Live or die, the choice is yours.
Nope.
Sucks to suck, jiggy.
Did pol literally invent more words for trans people or something? The frick, man
Kek
>oh... and "she" just killed "herself." that wasn't part of the game... uh, I guess you can go free.
Jigsaw isn't a homosexual and doesn't feed people's delusions, he makes them accept the truth. He'd more likely put a troony in a trap where the only way to get out is to prove themselves a man. That or He'd go the other route and make them cut their own dick off.
Troons are delusional more at 11
are there really this many troonys on Cinemaphile or is it just low IQ trolling?
>take the vax goyim or lose your career
Basically. Vietnam protestors actually had balls and went to jail for their beliefs. What happened to the American publics balls, they drop off or something?
and then they said take the experimental gene therapy or youre a big bad "antivaxxer"
its hilarious that it worked
Saw VS Impractical Jokers
Saw puts one of the jokers in a trap then tells the others what to do and say. If they don't do it Sal is lowered into a pit full of cats with rabies. Joe has to come out of retirement to save his friends.
>Forced to mod /b/ for 72 hours straight or your mom will die in her sleep tonight if you don't reply to this post with "Please don't kill me, Mr. Jigsaw!".
Knife urethra!
there are ten saw movies? holy frick. I only ever "saw" the first 2.
The medical business loves draining people of cash while providing nothing but false promises.
So to exit the trap they have to donate a certain amount of blood. They donate so many pints then the goalpost is moved. Jigsaw needs more blood for some phony reason that highlights their schemes. They fight amongst themselves. Jigsaw keeps moving the goalpost until he sucks them dry.
Tbh, I have had this day dream in my head after reviewing cases of Giveaway Scammers.
>you are completely unbound and nothing hinders your escape, infact, I've already provided you with multiple weapons and tools you won't even need just to feel secure
>all you must do is step around Warwick Davis without causing any h-
>c-could you let me finish, you didn't have to hurt him, just walk pas-
>i-is there a problem with the speaker, maybe he can't hear u-
>Hello anon
>For your crime of posting women with no ass online
>You are surrounded by 12 chubby women
>If you don't have sex with all of them your dick will be chopped off
I guess I'm reliving my 20's then.
Actually fitting punishment for sex change surgeons.
>Hello Janny, for years now you have considered yourself a one man army fighting for order and structure. Today I give you the chance to lead by example. Before you is a computer desktop already connected to Cinemaphile's television and film board, to earn your freedom you need only create a new thread and see it pass the bump limit. But be warned, for every 3 minutes that pass with you still in this room another bitminer will be activated and the thermal output of this machine's AMD processor will sharply rise. Can you remain true to the values you have enforced upon others or will you slowly be cooked alive by your own lack of imagination? Live or die, the choice is yours
>...Oh, one last thing. In the adjacent room there are five people in a predicament similar to yours, only they have been given strict instructions to keep the board clear of all off-topic and pornographic material, it is a blue board after all. However, these individuals have not been poisoned, nor are they playing for their freedom or any other remuneration. In fact, you might even say they're doing it for free
>Hello anon
>For your crime of posting Knock Knock memes on Cinemaphile
>You are tied to a bed and Ana De Armas and Lorenza Izzo are waiting outside
>In order to escape you have to let them frick you
>Hello Anon
>for too long you've been making fun of British culture, and it's time to reap what you sow
>in front of you is a table filled with British delicacies
>bacon that isn't bacon, and it's wet for some reason
>bland white bread slathered in lukewarm beans and tomato sauce
>flavorless brown water called tea, and when I say flavor, I'm thinking about the word spelled with a "u"
>after you eat every single bite, you have to take a shower in the upstairs bathroom
>however... finish all the food quickly, or the perfectly set temperature will either be scolding hot... or freezing cold
>Oh, and you'll want to get out of here fast... the licence for the TV you're currently watching... hasn't been paid
This trap would literally have no effect against Tweetney
I want Hoffman to sit on my face
so persistent…
Hello anon. I want to play a game. For years you've imagined the smell on Cinemaphile - Television and Film and amassed a 2 terabyte collection of celebrity pictures. Imagine no more.
In front of you protruding from the wall are the asses, legs, feet, and hands of 14 different actresses. To your left - nametags of these 14 actresses. To your right - a handbook containing a detailed itinerary of each actresses day down to the minute before they were bound along with current biological plus dietary information.
In two hours the room will start filling with a deadly nerve agent. Upon naming all 14 of them correctly you will be freed. Well anonymous, will your particular set of skills save you from ruin? Or will this be the last time you "imagine the smell"?
I think I could do it
It's not fair, how am I supposed to do it when I never got to practice in real life?
wait a minute will the actresses also get hit by the nerve agent? I thought you didn't kill innocent people?
It's okay anon they have fresh air on the other side of the wall.
Also not my problem.