Scratch that. Reverse it.
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Scratch that. Reverse it.
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
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what moronic studio exec thought fans were dying for a fricking wonka backstory
Actually seems like an easy pitch to me. Recognizable name/IP. Origin stories are popular and don't have to follow the book. And Depp's portrayal was polarizing, and the Wilder movie is old, so you know there will be viewers who are satisfied by neither and are hungry for a new portrayal.
Yes but this is one of the cases where having a backstory to the mysterious character is making it less interesting. Nobody gives a shit if Wonka had a shitty childhood and how he got into the chocolate factory business, his appeal is that he's an unpredictable powerful madman that appears out of nowhere and you never quite know how evil he is.
Exactly. So many things suffer from having an origin story. Similar to the xenomorphs. We don't need to know the why/where/how. In fact NOT knowing makes the character more interesting.
THANK YOU! The Alien movies took a moronic turn trying to explain the origins instead of furthering the extant world. Many such cases.
>Origin stories are popular
Are they really popular? Or are they just pushed aggressively because execs want to find the next multi-film franchise?
I actually think it's a neat idea. How DID Wonka get all that crazy shit? Thought it would've been better seeing him travel the world and finding this shit.
I hope we get to see Wonka murder those chocolate cartel competitors
It's better not knowing, the unknown and speculation is what makes something interesting.
Girls like Chalamet and moms will want to take their children to see this movie. Don't pretend it's not an easy sell.
I do want to explore Wonka's backstory
left is peak twink cumdump body
hot as frick
>he thinks its about what viewers want to watch
why is this movie
why
yes
I honestly believe this is the extent of his of his jubilant and whimsical acting ability
>It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You quieted up! You listened down which now has to be scratched and reversed, so you get NOTHING! You LOSE! Good day, sir!
Hey would have been a EXCELLENT joker if a quality batman movie was a thing back then.
Who is this? Why does this fairy have flowers on his vest?
Wonka. He killed children in broad daylight and got away with it, and maimed countless others. It's a pretty fricked up movie if you actually pay attention. The suit and frilly shit is cover, in that scene hes yelling at an 11 year old telling him he's going to live destitute forever
I put my thing down flip and reverse it
Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gnaht ym tup i
Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gnaht ym tup i
i just realized that line of gibberish is just her actually playing the previous line in reverse. whoa
omg!
Based Missy Elliot posters
>squirrels made
an aberration unto God's work, classic Wonka.
Is it worth it? Let me work it
I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it
Who's his chocolate assistant? Does she get CREAMED?
He looks completely unanimated here. May as well be doing a press junket in this scene.
It's a jpeg, anon
Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gnaht ym tup i
thread theme:
this one better be in the film
>Pop
the worst acting I've seen in a while
That’s what I thought when I first saw the trailer. I thought I might be the only one who thought that since the comments on the trailer were overwhelmingly positive.
They always are with big productions
part of any big movie's marketing budget these days is flooding the youtube comments with artificial positivity
YouTube also just has automated bots that scrub most critical comments.
I hope Chalemet pulls a Pattinson and we all have to apologize for calling him a bad actor.
whats this kids deal is he like the new thing
He’s like 30 he just eats a lot of onions products.
Yes, they are trying to shill him as the next Leo DiCaprio
Wooden actor he was the worst part of dune
I don't understand what they were trying to go with the DUNE movie. Jessica was a perfect cast, but he fricking sucks as Paul.
she was too fricking hot, it was distracting. he wasn't filming a porno and didn't need to hire such a hot actress
Is that a Chinese man in a suit?
He didn't even have to audition as Wonka, they just gave him the role. It's so over
Is he mocking me!?
he was much better than Zendaya as Chani, Chalamet is almost what I actually pictured Paul looking like based on reading books first
israeli?
i meant to say greek to you not to
the atreides are described in a greek sort of way and Chalamet has a lanky greek look
he is such an unbelievably dogshit actor
why does he have a pet nigress? i understand a man having needs but thats what oompaloompas are for
https://youtube.com/shorts/mpya9GvKnNw?feature=share
Like i've seen many others say.. the way he delivers this line is so bad. He should have just studied Gene Wilder more and copied him down to a T.
i've never seen this guy act in anything and I already hate him for having such a dumbshit name
>~~*THE CHOCOLATE CARTEL*~~
What did they mean by this?
I like him, but that's such a miscast.
OF COUSE he is paired with a black girl! I can't recall a single non-white in the main cast of the original. I need to watch that again.
His delivery of that line was so terrible
Why are normies circle jerking him off so much the way he delivered that line told me this movie is gonna be shit charisma vacuum
Voldy?
Absolutely none of the new generation of Hollywood kids and young adults are growing up into likeable big names and theater fillers so they've just decided to go with the tried and true method of throwing money at the problem and promoting their most nepotistic picks possible until nobody has a choice but to watch their favorite prancing israelites
It’s going to be kino isn’t it?
yes.
see
why are his sleeves so frayed
Ezra Miller would have been kino. He has that energy that he's just about to do something sociopathic for his own amusement but holds back because he understands that being crazy in modulation is more fun that being crazy all the time.
I would actually watch this. Ezra plays unhinged well and he's a decent actor
the head chef in The Bear is easily best pick based on being very Gene Wilder in appearance and often an unhinged angry type actor
No Ezra has that whimsical but dark nature where you don't know if he's a pedophile or just a child at heart. Wonka isn't angry or unhinged.
Wonka isn't angry til the end but hes certainly unhinged, you're overrating Ezra, toe to toe Bear is gonna seem more like Gene Wilder Wonka
Nta but im seeing it now. Welp, of course some nepotistic homosexual gets the part. I watched shameless and the Bear guy definitely has the intensity more than the guy picked.
greek
it's THEY'M
Unironically The Flash was great because of Ezra
Would have watched this
They were attached to the role initially
Dong Lover would have been interesting but it would have been seen as woke
you fricking think
Gosling or Miller would have been better choices. Gosling because he's a great actor and Miller because he's genuinely unhinged and would bring a lot to the part. Timotheeee is really just shit all around.
Gosing can only act weird ironically. He never commits. Lars and the real girl hes just playing himself. He never commits to a role.
Gosling as Wonka sounds fricking awful.
>sneed that, Chuck it
disgusting looking cretin.
I hope this movie bombs. Not every movie needs a fricking prequel or origin story
I don't hate what I've seen.
I figured it would be dark and edgy, but from what I've seen, besides the weird child sidekick, and the weird cg oompa-loompas it doesn't look that bad.
Maybe that's just because everything else has just been so awful, but honestly it looks alright. Not a classic, but maybe we'll get a few good shitposts out of it.
Scratch that. Reverse it. Delete this fricking movie.
*Dancing Black noises*
he cant act
My God the Black person heroine in this movie is so fricking ugly, like the rest of them. Note also how they made one of the cartel elites a Black person. And when is this movie set? A dickensian novel? Why are there so many Black folk? And wasn't the bubble/floating candy an experimental thing during the Gene Wilder wonka movie? Why does he have it in a stable state in this prequel? And how come that "strike that reverse it" line feels so choreographed and fake? My God please have mercy on me, this movie just feels like sucu garbage. Ring that fricking bell
>why are there so many Black folk?
History has been whitewashed.
>wasn't the candy experimental?
>how come that line feels so fake?
This, and more, will be little winks and nods to people that watched the 1971 film. It's purposefully artificial because it's not a character saying a line, it's an actor reading a script that is trying to give you member berries.
Wrong video, my bad lmfao.
?t=173
She's literally prettier than any girl you could dream of having bro. Cope.
I've dreamt of prettier boys lmao, do you really have that lame of dreams? What do you dream about, doing your taxes?
>I've dreamt of prettier boys lmao, do you really have that lame of dreams?
Yeah b***h, he brings a pizza, it's the 90s all over again, I've got a n64 with two controls and whoever wins smash bros gets the first brojob. Like I said, what do dream about, fiscal reports
I dream about getting raped and murdered a lot tbh. Better dreams stalked through weird slums. Theyre kinda fun though
Oh well on a serious note I'll have a bone or joint dislocated and I'll be stuck in bed unable to move without causing more pain. Then I'll wake up and...it's another bone or joint dislocated. It'll cycle this dream for hours, never actually waking up. Been a while since I had that one tho.
Dang, I wish I had more detailed crazy dreams like that. Sometimes I just brush over it. Having a better memory would help too.
they should have cast the guy from the bear
This dude has the weirdest proportions. I can't believe he's not a israelite.
I’d rather have a weird looking dude who can act than a wooden pretty boy like Chalamet.
Jjfjfjfj
Narrator: He is.
Can we call him the Bear israelite now then?
The weird thing is Him and Gene are the same height
He looks like russian, israelite, albanian, italian. Like what the frick is this thing. Only 2023 this guy is leading man material outside of a sitcom.
This. He looks like an extra from Welcome Back Kotter.
Sneed that. Chuck it
giv timmy willy
>here is your 21st century sex symbol bro
source ?
timmy is not for sexual
That's me in the corner.
That's me in the spot. light.
The giant guy from euphoria is what zoomer girls are lusting after(he should've been batman or superman), he'll become the first zoomer star. Chalmette will drop off with his shit movies noone watches.
>What's in the chocolate box?
>an eccentric, unmarried 30 year old man spending quality time with an underage negress
what did ~~*they*~~ mean by this ?
Make your own shit
I haven't seen a recent hollywood film in probably 3 years now but I happen to watch the trailer for this and it his acting felt really forced and awkward. Just felt like watching a dude try to be something he isn't capable of emulating.
say what you want Chalamet is much better than Tom Holland and hasn't shamed himself with several spidey roles or getting topped by a Black person on a shit tv show
It's only a matter of time until Timmy does something like this.
This israelite is going to be put in everything
hollywood was made by israelites, idiot. of course they are in these movies
Of course, just saying this israelite prince is their little baby and they're going to cradle him into every role imaginable.
like it matters. touch grass.
i know im literally not going to watch the dune movies. never watched anything he was in.
He's not going to be in any MCU films so you have nothing to worry
The only good new movie that could ever come out of the Wonka shit is a Great Glass Elevator adaptation.
Songs by Neil Hannon: The only indicator of kino.
I’m actually excited for this. It appears to be one of the biggest miscastings in recent Hollywood history. Without israeli nepotism this kid would be nowhere, he is absolute garbage in any movie where he has to emote and play a distinct character. And now they gave him one of the most eccentric and extroverted roles in cinema history. It’s gonna be a hilarious disaster.
i might be the only one on the planet who prefers the Tim Burton version
you are
You’re not. The Wilder one has neither style nor substance
nice bait
The movie is legit trash, depp is playing an alien rather than a whimsical weirdo.
NTA, and I agree that the movie is trash, but Depp played the character the way the script called for. I never read the book as a kid so I have nothing to compare it to other than Wilder (which was an all around better performance and better movie), so maybe it’s in line with the book, but it was a garbage script. I blame Burton much more than I blame Depp. I can’t really see a different actor making that particular movie better. Wilder could have played Wonka again and the movie would still be trash
I’d really like to see is what would happen if Burton and Depp and collaborated on that movie in 1990 instead of 2005 or whenever it was. Burton used to be an interesting director and Depp used to be an interesting actor. They’ve made movies together that were great. And on paper, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory seems like the perfect vehicle for both of them, but the movie was made at almost the lowest point in their careers, creatively speaking. Burton in particularly. Depp still had a few good years in him at that point, but the movie is so fricking lazy and paint by numbers. It looks like what you’d get if you told an AI to make a Tim Burton movie out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. And not even a good AI. Something you’d get out of some thing you programmed on character.io with five sentences to train it on
Wonka has to have a subtle undertone of menace to him that this version lacks. I cant picture this guy sarcastically watching a child fall into a chocolate river and then assuring his mother he will be fine once they scoop him out of the chocolate mixer
god damn i hate this lumpy weird face so much im going to have to hide this thread so i dont have to see it again
frick
>CGI hat
Diminishing returns. None of these attempts to revive old IPs are working. Some kids might see this, but kids as a generation are never going to give a shit about Willy Wonka like we did with Johnny Depp. And we barely gave a shit about him compared to our parents with Gene Wilder. No matter how much they try to pump air into these IPs, they are still surely dying. None of these new movies are being remembered. Kids today don’t give a shit about Popeye or Snow White or Willy Wonka or Mary Poppins or any of that old gay ass fricking bullshit. Make something the frick new already. Or don’t. They will soon stop watching movies and tv altogether.
homie is so miscast it's crazy, you can tell he's forcing himself to be all happy and whimsical that it doesn't come off natural at all.
I feel like young wonka would be an introvert. He never came across as extrovert. The only times he acted excited is when the kids were being killed in his plant.
why is this line in partiicular coming across so shitty? its jarringly weak in how its delivered
is his characterization of wonka just shitty or is he just a terrible actor
They cast an actor whose whil3 thing is being a moody gloomy think with permanent stoned laid back eyes to play a charismatic yeller... no shut its garbage.
Tim is a stinky moody sexy twink and that's all he should be cast as.
Sam Hyde would make a good Wonka let's be honest.
He should spend all his money on making a feature film.
he's making a game
I hate this homosexual’s face so goddamn much. I can’t take him seriously in any context. It’s like Hollywood trying to force your annoying cousin into every movie and seeing him immediately shatters any sort of immersion. I can’t see him as anything other than Timothy Chalameme. It’s just Timothy Chalameme playing dress up we all have to pretend he’s Willy Wonka
Cringe that, re-cringe it.
the only way this ugly twink who can't act for shit is getting these roles is by letting studio executives pound his butthole
This so looks so ridiculously bad, Chamolet can't act.
looks awful, but the thing that really made me know it was going to be shit was the disrespect of the actual story. why do they have a scene of everyone floating in a thing about the backstory? it was new and experimental and no one had known about or seen the floating drinks in the books/movie as it was being kept under wraps until wonka could make it safer, how is he going to have a whole plaza of people floating in his backstory? obviously it's just because execs/writers were like "remember the thing!? that'll trigger the nostalgia!" but it's cringe and it doesn't make sense. frick this.
honestly, the only time i'd want to see this IP revived is as a game from american mcgee
making chocolate of course