I mean, if the choice is between definitely dying of dehydration or probably getting some intestinal parasites, you pick the parasites. At a certain point, bad water is still better than no water.
you at least boil it, idiot. that won't get rid of any nasty toxins that things have left behind but it will at least kill the parasites. shitting yourself to death is not fun.
>it's ok to drink water from a puddle in the amazon rainforest as long as it looks ok and you know you'll be out in a week so you can take a pill to kill any Giardia the puddle might potentially give you. In the short term, preventing dehydration is more important than worrying about Giardia.
FTFY
I mean, you can drink it. It's not likely to kill you outright unless it's disgustingly stagnant or contaminated with something like toxic algae. But there's a reason most wild animals have parasites and most humans don't. Clean water is a big part of that.
You SHOULDN'T drink random untreated water if you have any other choice, but if it's come down to a choice of "either I drink this dirty water or I start to die of dehydration" then you should absolutely drink the water.
Survivorman was kino.
I don't know what the frick he's doing now but most people who live in the wilderness alone for long periods go crazy.
I think he mostly does podcasts and shit like that on YouTube now. His channel also has every Survivorman episode available to watch for free, as well as commentaries on them. I think he does livestreams sometimes too but I don't know if they are a regular thing - I caught part of one a while back where he was streaming a little concert/Q&A thing he was doing. He offhandedly mentioned something about doing a new Survivorman season if the network wanted to do it, but I'm not sure if he was just teasing or if that's really something that's in the works.
As this anon
he pretty much does that on youtube but with flowers and weeds now.
mentions he also does a show on YouTube called "Wild Harvest" where he forages for wild edible plants (and sometimes animals) and then has a chef cook them up. It's kind of interesting watching a professional chef work with wild ingredients, and of course Les always shows the process of identifying and gathering the ingredients.
It's certainly possible, yeah. That's why you should be careful and avoid any water that looks, smells, or tastes particularly foul. Like everything in a survival scenario, it's a choice you have to weigh. Should you drink the water now, or should you hold out until you find some better water or until you can find a way to boil it (if you don't have a container this can be difficult, but there are ways to make it work)? Can you make it long enough without water to do either of those things? Are you sure you can find more water? And if you do, will that water be any better? It could very well be worse.
But one thing to keep in mind is that without water, you WILL die within a few days, and will likely end up too weak and debilitated to survive even before the dehydration kills you outright. With water, you MAY get diarrhea and become dehydrated from it. But one is a certainty, the other is a possibility.
This. The more I think about Les' approach to survival, the more correct it seems. I don't really watch too many others, but I have seen some Dave Canturbury and Canadian Prepper on youtube, and both of those guys do some weird shit sometimes that I think is incorrect. Both of them lean heavily into LARP territory, with Dave advocating only the biggest, most heavy duty, rugged, old school gear, and Canadian Prepper advocating carrying all kinds of tech and heavy shit that you simply don't need. In contrast, Les advocates minimalism above all else. You don't want to be carrying all this extra shit in a survival situation. You don't want ANY extra weight. You want to make things as easy as you possibly can for yourself, not harder. Les is totally fricking right about that. He's much more pragmatic than either of those other guys. He pointed out a fantastic saying that really illustrates this in one of his episodes, "If you don't need to walk, stand. If you don't need to stand, sit. If you don't need to be awake, sleep." That's brilliant and he's fricking right.
5 months ago
Anonymous
Yeah, exactly. I'd still die in the wilderness, but the knowledge I've gained from Survivorman would enable me to survive for at least a couple extra hours.
If I followed the example of morons like Bear Grylls I'd try scaling a fricking cliff or some shit and then just die. In any kind of survival situation you should NEVER take unnecessary risks.
>(if you don't have a container this can be difficult
Schizo that has been preparing for the apocalypse here.
Just make a fire, put some stones in said fire, dig a hole, fill the hole with water (use your hands or find a big leaf or something), and then put the hot stones into the water. You should probably filter it with a cloth or some other way though.
Oh right, I forgot about that method. I think he used it on Survivorman at least once (but I think he used his hat to hold the water instead of a hole).
>(if you don't have a container this can be difficult
Schizo that has been preparing for the apocalypse here.
Just make a fire, put some stones in said fire, dig a hole, fill the hole with water (use your hands or find a big leaf or something), and then put the hot stones into the water. You should probably filter it with a cloth or some other way though.
Used to? Have you seen happened to people that got parasites from drinking water in the wild in foreign countries? People have lost limbs and almost died from drinking dirty water, others got paraplegic, it gets worse if it's not moving water like from a pool.
Explain his encounter, homosexual OP. He was out in the Alaskan wilderness with nobody else around for miles. He starts feeling like he is being watched. This is actually caught on camera when he keeps glancing out towards the treelline but can't see anything. Then, only when he turns the camera off since he was done filming the creation of his shelter, does he hear incredibly loud, ape-like bellowing coming from the trees where he had been looking. He see's one single tree swishing side to side as though it were being shaken by something. After listening to this two more times, he reaches to grab his camera, and suddenly hears so big that it sounded "like a freight train" rushing away through the woods, crashing and smashing through everything in its path. A fricking bear isn't going to do that, nor is a moose. What the frick did he encounter if not a bigfoot. An escaped Gorilla?
>A bear >A bear >A bear >Les Stroud, who has encountered bear numerous times and has never had trouble accurately identifying them before, encountered a hooping and hollering bear that he mistook for a bigfoot
You're the fricking conspiracy theorist here.
Where's the audio of the hopping and hollering? Where's even a single crumb or proof other than just blindly taking his word on what happened? Remember this happened while he was literally filming his show so he had ample mics, cameras, and batteries and his best evidence is him looking in the distance a couple times?
Blame the bigfoot. Les was filming his shelter building until he finished, so he turned his camera off because he had a limited amount of battery life out there and couldn't afford to run it when there was no reason. Bears don't bolt when you reach for a camera by the way.
Unironically, apes are never captured on trail cam. They always see the camera before the camera sees them. Apes will suddenly appear right in the lens of the cam if at all if they get close enough to investigate.
>Then, only when he turns the camera off since he was done filming the creation of his shelter, does he hear incredibly loud, ape-like bellowing coming from the trees
Ahh, another case of those omniscient sasquatches that somehow can just tell when there are cameras around.
You know what? Frick you guys. I like Les. I learned a lot about survival from watching Survivorman as a kid. The very first episode of Survivorman is still one of my favorites. It has this raw quality that was lost in the later seasons. That was my very first time seeing a firebow.
Whenever I'm out in the "wilderness" (like a national park or some creek bush or some shit) walking or hiking or whatever I always hear this in the back of my head.
>the Bigfoot thing was stupid
Did you even watch the show? Survivorman Bigfoot was actually good. He never goes all in on it. He just treats it as an impartial investigation. It's FUN. >the original run of Suvivorman was kino
Yes, it was.
Yeah he's gotten a bit weird in old age but OG survivorman was pure kino. Something so comfy about those series. You can see him starting to really struggle after a few days without food.
Think it's fair he's pissed off at idiots like Bear Grylls who turned it all into a meme while he's doing it on hard mode.
I doubt anyone would want to, you ever see the fan challenge episode? Les went out of his way to be as unhelpful as possible and let the guy needlessly suffer just to prove his point of how tough it is. Plus there is his social media where he gets mad if someone IDs him at a bar, or gets mad if he has to check his bags at the airport, or gets mad and calls out waitresses by name because they didn't stroke his ego enough. He seems like he might be a prick off camera.
>Les went out of his way to be as unhelpful as possible and let the guy needlessly suffer just to prove his point of how tough it is.
But that was the entire point of the episode. To show that it's not as easy as he makes it seem (because he is an expert, and the average person is not), to show the kind of struggles an inexperienced person would have, and to let the guy feel what an actual survival experience is like. It was still Survivorman, not "Backwoods Camping with Les Stroud." Yeah, he was harsh, but survival is ALWAYS harsh. >Plus there is his social media where he gets mad if someone IDs him at a bar, or gets mad if he has to check his bags at the airport, or gets mad and calls out waitresses by name because they didn't stroke his ego enough
Proofs?
another of him being pissy because other survival shows are more popular than his
5 months ago
Anonymous
Did you even read it? He's pissed because he was almost denied permission to shoot an episode, because the park rangers assumed he was some Bear Grylls type who just wanted to make a show that would give people "advice" that would actually get them killed.
I'd be pissed off too if I created a genre-defining actually educational TV show and then a bunch of adrenaline junkie homosexuals started making worse versions of it, which also give people terribly wrong impressions about surviving in the wilderness. And then to top it all off, those other shows get so popular that people start mistaking you, the originator of the genre and the one with the only legitimate show, for one of the homosexual copycats, making it difficult for you to do your job because now they don't want to work with you because they think you're a moronic, dangerous homosexual and not an expert.
5 months ago
Anonymous
Did you even read it? He's pissed because he was almost denied permission to shoot an episode, because the park rangers assumed he was some Bear Grylls type who just wanted to make a show that would give people "advice" that would actually get them killed.
I'd be pissed off too if I created a genre-defining actually educational TV show and then a bunch of adrenaline junkie homosexuals started making worse versions of it, which also give people terribly wrong impressions about surviving in the wilderness. And then to top it all off, those other shows get so popular that people start mistaking you, the originator of the genre and the one with the only legitimate show, for one of the homosexual copycats, making it difficult for you to do your job because now they don't want to work with you because they think you're a moronic, dangerous homosexual and not an expert.
I think Les is the fricking man and even though he’s ranting here it’s not cringe in any way. The one thing is why he linked up with Todd Standing. I’m perplexed there.
He could probably tone it down, do less days and bring a bit more kit but yeah, it's a real rough gig to do the full week with nothing when you in your 60's
I remember seeing the episode where he had his squatch encounter as a kid and always wondering why he seemed so twitch there. I don't know if it was actually a sasquatch but there was definatetly some big animal that was stalking him...and it made ape sounds apparently.
Given the whole business that went on of a ship sending a guard out to check on him during this does make one wonder if there are secret Bigfoot research grounds in parts of the pacific northwest.
>self proclaimed filmmaker >has never once had a camera pointing at the "weird" stuff he claims >duhhhh bigfoot is psychic and contacted me and I declined meeting them
I used to like Les but the criticism he got for teaming with Todd Standing clearly broke his ego entirely and he's been a sensitive b***h ever since
What's weird is the majority of people didn't take him seriously at all. Les even talked about in a directors commentary that when he pitched the bigfoot show the initial network exec told him he needed to work with someone other than Todd because he's a known liar with zero credibility and people don't like him. Les mocked that as how can any bigfoot researcher be considered credible and went to a different network entirely because he respects Todd because he actually goes out into the forest. That was pretty much the only reason Les gave for dying on the Todd Standing hill.
>he respects Todd because he actually goes out into the forest. That was pretty much the only reason Les gave for dying on the Todd Standing hill.
This.
Who funded Todd’s Bigfoot doc in the first place? He had like 50 pics and videos of Bigfoot and they all looked like different masks and actors, didn’t even try to make them look real. Was that before or after he hung out with Les?
So how did Les rationalize Todd after seeing the stupid documentary of his? Jeff Meldrum the one main guy who studies bigfoot was on Todd’s doc and only briefly appeared then didn’t want to return and was all around being rude to Todd whenever they were on screen together because Todd is such a grifter. Les…?
Paranormal moments are one in a quadrillion whether bigfoot UFOs or ghosts, you either experience it and spend your life chasing it in vain or like most people it never happens to you and you go on living 'knowing' that stuff is BS. The truth is our there and the odds you having a camera set up perfectly the exact fleeting moment it happens and not just standing frozen in a state of utter disbelief is astronomical. Les had his encounter way back then but like most people didn't act when he should have now he spends the rest of his life chasing it and believing psycho con men hoping it will help him in his chase but it won't.
Bigfoot stuff is harmless fun, and if you're one of the redditors who gets completely apoplectic about how they're not actually real because Neil deGrasse Tyson and the other soiyence gods said so... Well, that just makes it more fun so cryptid chads will keep winning. I know there's a 90% chance you're the anon who made one of the recent Les vs Grylls threads which was full of your seething posts
I never understood why people like him sperg out so much if you even entertain the possibility that creatures like Sasquatch could actually exist. It's a weird lack of curiosity that seems antithetical to an actual scientific mind. There's enough smoke to the stories and sightings to seriously look for the fire.
>DNA >dermal ridges >bigfoot literally exists in fossils
Bigfoot is almsot certainly real. It would be more outlandish to me that it’s fake and the FBI is out there with scientifically crafted realistic Bigfoot feet and leaving weird DNA for people to find decades later. Something is out there.
Oh yeah, well I have one question for you then. Where's the poop? So me an animal, I'll show you some poop. Where's the Bigfoot poop? Checkmate cryptocryptid
What is your point, you’re saying bigfoots are spraying diarrhea all over the forest? They almost certainly bury their shit.
5 months ago
Anonymous
>they have to bury it or else my stupid idea makes no sense
You're starting from the conclusion and working backwards to justify it
5 months ago
Anonymous
No I’m basing it off the things you initially responded to that can’t be explained. I’m not fully convinced but I think it would be whackier that Bigfoot was fake this whole time.
Going off on a tangent I think the government knows about bigfoots which are actually just hominids and are intentionally keeping it quiet.
5 months ago
Anonymous
>the government knows about bigfoots which are actually just hominids and are intentionally keeping it quiet.
Why?
5 months ago
Anonymous
The amount of psyopping to get popular opinion to shift to “yeah I guess Blacks are people” is incredible, imagine a bigfoot up on a podium grunting and hooting while a translator states the bigfoot demand welfare or reservations or some shit.
5 months ago
Anonymous
They’d have to give them rights. Timber companies, suburban development, and really just the cancer of humanity slowly spreading to every part of the planet would be fricked. Easier to kill them than risk losing out on profit.
5 months ago
Anonymous
>I think the government knows about bigfoots which are actually just hominids and are intentionally keeping it quiet.
Bigfoot itself isn't the problem. The problem is that its existence implies an origin, and the origin is outside of our concept of reality. That's the secret. Not bigfoot.
>Hey this show is cool >DID YOU SEE THE CREATORS FACEBOOK POSTS DON'T YOU KNOW HIS POLITICAL OPINIONS YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HE SAID 30 YEARS LATER
why are internet spergs like this
Twice and then I lost it. I wear the bandana most often, I use the metal drinking bottle now and then, never listened to or even opened the cd, and the DVD was the Beyond Survival season.
I think I gotta go with the flint striker. Matches will run out or they can be ruined by getting wet, it won't. The neosporin is useless - by the time an infected wound starts to actually cause you problems, you'd probably already be dead anyway. That's really something you'd want for long-term survival, but you aren't surviving long-term if all you have is a bottle of neosporin.
Everything else would be extremely useful, but I choose the striker because there's no way I could manage a fire without it. If I can find some trash, like a pop can and some twine, I can make my own fishing line/hook.
For me it’s metal cup and flint striker but I might forgo the cup for neosporin idk.
I'm moronic, I thought it said one and only one, not two and only two. In that case, I go with the striker and the fishing line (or the hatchet, if the striker itself doesn't have a piece of metal to strike the flint with). One fish will provide me with more protein than the entire bag of beef jerky. I'm no great fisherman (though I'd like to be) but if I can find a plastic bottle and do the trick Les shows to use it as a reel, I might have a chance.
Realistically, survival tip from yours truly, you could make a rudimentary fishing hook from a decent piece of snapped branch, like a forked branch and just shave it down to make it sharp. For line, use thin strips of wood from a tree and tie it together. Crappy (sunfish) will bite at almost anything so you don’t necessarily even have to use bait, but you can always dig for worms. Soon as the crappy snaps at the bit of sharp wood just yank it out of the water. Typically, if you’re actually fishing with a real hook you’d set the hook by waiting a moment after you feel the initial bite of the fish then yank which lodges the hook in the fish’s mouth when you do it right and reel it in, but you’re gonna have a hard time doing that with wood but with crappy, they are always near shore where the sun hits the water. You can eyeball your catch rather than feeling it out like if you were casting and angling with a rod, soon as you see the bit of wood slip down the little guy’s throat just yank (but not toooo hard) and hopefully the wood will catch just enough and the fish biting down will be sufficient force for the fish to stay on the line while you pull it up out of the water onto the shore, then just stomp it or smack it or get ahold of it right away so it doesn’t flip back into the water.
For more survival fun, crappy will willingly and easily swim into fish traps. I have a fish trap that I use to catch crappy and use them as baitfish. Just drop the trap into the water with some bait, bread or whatever in it and then pull the trap out filled with crappy. I always had a manufactured metal basket but you could always just take the time to get some sticks together than are pliable enough to bend and tie them together using the same kind of wood strips you use to make the line to make a basket, then attach it to a line with some bait, drop the basket in and when you see fish enter pull it out.
Interesting, thanks for the tips.
I wish there were crappy where I live, they sound easy to catch. Since I started fishing earlier this summer all I've caught are brown bullheads. I ate one, it was... okay. I might have overseasoned it, but there was just something about the taste I didn't enjoy too much. Outside of that we mostly only have walleye, northern pike, channel cats and yellow perch unless you go up north (which I'd love to do some day, I really want to try Arctic Char because in the Survivorman episode where he catches them they look fricking delicious).
Where the frick do you live where there’s no crappy? I thought they’d be in literally any fresh body of water in the Americas. Besides, I’m only talking if you were stranded in the wilderness and were starving to maybe try for some crappy. You can always scout out the shoreline to see if there is any, if there are there’s gonna be a million of them before you invest time in weaving a basket or whatever. All that said I hate catching fricking crappy as a sport fish. I catch and release and I feel like it’s too easy catching crappy. You can eyeball a huge crappy swimming by the shore and just toss your line right in front of him and almost certainly he will bite. I don’t even bother. For me, it’s bass.
5 months ago
Anonymous
>Where the frick do you live where there’s no crappy
Manitoba, Canada. Apparently there ARE crappy here but they're only in certain waters, all of which are at least couple hours from me, and they're an introduced species or something.
We have thousands of lakes but barely any good fish, it seems. >All that said I hate catching fricking crappy as a sport fish. I catch and release and I feel like it’s too easy catching crappy. You can eyeball a huge crappy swimming by the shore and just toss your line right in front of him and almost certainly he will bite. I don’t even bother. For me, it’s bass.
I only release what's not big enough to justify eating (or what is too big for me to legally keep). To be honest, I wouldn't mind an easy fish; it would be nice to just catch something that I can take home and cook up if only for the morale boost.
I've wanted to try catching bass but that's another case of "they're around, but only if I drive a couple hours." I've also tried fishing for trout at stocked ponds but had no luck aside from a couple babies. But maybe I'll have better luck (and be able to travel farther to better spots) next year.
5 months ago
Anonymous
The entire US east coast is bass city.
5 months ago
Anonymous
>not filling your limit of crappie, sunfish and bluegill in a day and having a big fish fry for your friends and family
ngmi
5 months ago
Anonymous
>fishing with a loicense
I've been illegally fishing and poaching for 20 years. Ever since I poached a big elk in Argentina from private property, I couldn't give up the thrill. Now, I make a point of exclusively poaching when I'm hunting. I poach so much that I know all the areas of South America with controlled game, and that's where I go to poach. I pick the breeding season, or egg-laying season if I'm poaching partridge, and I eat all the eggs I find raw on the spot. I share it with my german pointer, Poacher. Last week I poached 17 times, ran into law enforcement 8 times, shot cops 3 times and poached the purity of 2 female officers.
I was married once, but when our firstborn arrived, I was poaching. When she said her first words (it was "dad, poach!"), I wasn't around. I was poaching. When our second child was birthed, I was fishing for underweight bluefin, and took my father-in-law with me. I had subjugated him into the poaching ways. He has been my poaching partner since then, and even was a witness during the trial for the guard of our children (my case was that I was poaching, and that is much more important than children. I won). I intend to poach one type of illegal game per country before I'm dead.
Be aware. I might be coming to your country next, and you never know just what I might poach. I will never stop poaching. Some men cope, some men seethe, but I poach. I only wish crappy weren’t so common so catching them would be considered a poach.
5 months ago
Anonymous
I only poach eggs myself.
5 months ago
Anonymous
Nothing like a California condor egg over-easy on toast.
5 months ago
Anonymous
Nothing like a California condor egg over-easy on toast.
>t. cartoonishly bloodthirsty bad guy hunter from a disney movie
>he doesn’t scoop brownfish floating by with his landfill net made of soda can binders and eat them as a delicacy, extracting the nutrients from the corn within
Apu from the Simpson accent: “Never going to make it.”
I come across an injured sasquatch. treat his wounds with the Neosporin and become its friend.
It then leads me back to its camp with many other Squatches. I throw M&C on their movie player, and we watch it in the forest late at night, after the kino ends they lead me home the next day.
>COULD YOU SURVIVE?
How long we talking? If it's only 2 weeks, I'd take the Hatchet and the Matches. If it's longer, I'd take the Hatchet and the Flint Striker. Either way, it's the hatchet and a way to get a fire going.
Anybody know the video where the family is fricking around by a lake and all of the sudden this dark figure in the background climbs out of the lake and takes off running? Wanted to rec it to someone who was doing reviews of supposed squatch footage.
Yeah if you go on tubi one of the free squatch docs analyzes that footage. I think it’s the Unwonted Sasquatch or Sasquatch: Among Wildmen. If you want an actual analysis of bigfoot stuff not by psychos, Jeff Meldrum is your guy. If he’s in it, you can listen to what he says without grains of salt. He’s an anthropologist and weird shit to do with Bigfoot foot casts is what got him interested in the possibility of bigfoot because, just a quick QRD, a couple of bigfoot casts he analyzed had very specific deformations that humans can get that indicates a certain disease or injury, except it was on this 16” long print, and he could not explain it. I said in an earlier post, if that was faked it has to be some high budget government psyop or some shit to gaslight people into believing bigfoot, no hoaxer is going to be able to pull some insane shit like that off.
>Anybody know the video where the family is fricking around by a lake and all of the sudden this dark figure in the background climbs out of the lake and takes off running?
fricking what
>bobo
"it's feelin' awfully squatchy in here..." is his catchphrase. think a stoner who had half his brain removed. by far the most likable character very laid back feels that he has a spiritual connection with the bigfeet and can sense them. likes to do acid on go in alone for days out in the bush. breaks up fights >cliff
ACSTHUALLY SCIENCE IS INTERESTING yes-man to matt >matt moneymaker
one of the most notorious demented narcissistic maniacs in the history of squatching. a lightning rod. zapp brannigan meets richard dawkins. EXTRAORDINARILY DEFENSIVE talks like he's a god >ranae
antagonist of the show. the troll. the skeptic. needles matt constantly. her catchphrase is "look i'm not saying i know that bigfoot doesn't exist i just don't think we've found any evidence here". a bull dyke who will not back down. a steely-eyed realist
i'm sad for les. s1-3 of survivorman were great, much better than anything similar (at least compared to what else falls into this category on tv). his comeback with s4 was pretty good, but it all fell apart after that with him trying to live off the grid, his wife leaving him, and then he was trying to do the show with a friend, his son, and then bigfoot shit?
i'm more than willing to entertain the idea that something like bigfoot exists, but i don't want to see les doing it. go back to being a campy survival show, les, i liked that you didn't start out every episode by parachuting into it
i forget why she left but it was during the time he tried moving 'off the grid' even though he had solar and all kinds of shit. it was during s4 or afterwords and he never came back from it. last time i saw les on tv it was on pbs, he was picking berries for some cooking show. he deserves better
>'off the grid' even though he had solar and all kinds of shit
Living "off the grid" doesn't mean you don't have electricity and shit like that. It just means you get that electricity in a way that isn't connected to the electrical grid, such as solar panels.
i cant be assed to look it up but as i recall: he used the money from survivorman s1-3 to build himself a really nice 'off the grid' house, it was pretty much self sufficient, but his wife didn't like something about being that far off the grid or away from civilization, and it was the final straw in an already strained relationship.
Are you sure they're actually too poisonous? I've always heard rumors like "you shouldn't eat fish from so-and-so river because it's toxic." But most governments/wilderness management agencies will have some kind of document made specifically for fishermen which tells you the levels of contaminants like mercury in various watersheds. I've found that, at least here, the places people say you shouldn't fish in are actually mostly fine.
But yes it should be illegal to poison the environment. It wouldn't be antisemitic to ban it, but it would cost corporations a bit of money which would mean the CEO would get a lower bonus, and we cannot have that.
my home ec teacher brought in a tv to watch survivorman for his class
and sometimes he'd go on rants about technology and society which I later realized here were excerpts from Uncle Teds manifesto
it was my favorite class
Bigfoot is from another dimension. "aliens" are also from another dimension. Bigfoot and "aliens" both use telepathy aka mind speak. Dogman is another inter-dimensional entity. The truth about existence is so much stranger than the lie we've been sold that it hides itself. Fae, will-o-wisps, yokai, poltergeist, demonic activity, etc. All inter-dimensional phenomena.
Reminder that samsquatch is on the US gov’s list of shit to watch out for when training in the military doing field ops along with grizzlies, great whites, etc.
KEK
so Les Stroud and his friend immediately fall into a pit, and his friend is having a meltdown seeing what supplies they have and the dialogue goes like this >OH LOOKIE HERE THE SURVIVORMAN TV SHOW KIT ONLY $4.95 LET’S SEE WHAT’S IN THIS MOTHERFRICKER SHALL WE? >WELL YOU GOT COOKING UTENSILS. THOSE’LL COME IN HANDY IN THIS HOLE. >OH LOOK AT THAT, A RAPE WHISTLE! HELP SURVIVORMAN I’M GETTING RAPED! >THERMAL BLANKET, ONE THERMAL FRICKING BLANKET… >A BULLSHIT KNIFE… >PIECE OF PLASTIC NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS, SURVIVORMAN CREDIT CARD PLATINUM EDITION. >AND A FRICKING COMPASS. >YOU SHOULD HAVE PROBABLY PUT IN THE FINE PRINT THAT THIS KIT DOESN’T HELP YOU IF YOU FALL INTO A FRICKING CAVE. >YOU BETTER HOPE WE GET OUT OF HERE. >IF WE DON’T, YOU’RE GONNA BE DEAD. >WITH THESE FRICKING HANDS RIGHT HERE YOU’LL BE DEAD. >NOW I’M GONNA DIE OUT HERE. >FRICK YOU AND YOUR GODDAMN DOG.
kek wow what the actual frick
If you watch his directors commentaries he comes off as such a bitter old prick. Spends most of the time co planning about his editors, the networks, bear grylls, people ripping him off, not feeling like he gets the recognition he deserves, then Hawkes his shit for like 5 minutes. It's pathetic.
>it's ok to drink water from a puddle in the Amazon rainforest as long as it looks ok
I mean, if the choice is between definitely dying of dehydration or probably getting some intestinal parasites, you pick the parasites. At a certain point, bad water is still better than no water.
you at least boil it, idiot. that won't get rid of any nasty toxins that things have left behind but it will at least kill the parasites. shitting yourself to death is not fun.
Good luck starting a fire in the wettest place on planet earth
Pro tip: dig down until it’s dry and if need be use your own hair as kindling. Assuming you had a flint striker to light it.
>use your own hair as kindling.
That's interesting. Never had that one before. Will remember that tip.
>pro tip
>pro doesnt do this
>implying random posters on an online anime porn forum aren't leading experts in every field
Les Stroud is fricking bald.
I guess you always have pubes and armchair though. Either way, why not? Hair flares right up.
>it's ok to drink water from a puddle in the amazon rainforest as long as it looks ok and you know you'll be out in a week so you can take a pill to kill any Giardia the puddle might potentially give you. In the short term, preventing dehydration is more important than worrying about Giardia.
FTFY
he pretty much does that on youtube but with flowers and weeds now.
If you drank nasty ass water enough times wouldn't you just get used to it? I mean why would every animal be able to drink this water except for man?
>If you drank nasty ass water enough times wouldn't you just get used to it?
yeah, just look at Mexicans.
I'd rather not
I mean, you can drink it. It's not likely to kill you outright unless it's disgustingly stagnant or contaminated with something like toxic algae. But there's a reason most wild animals have parasites and most humans don't. Clean water is a big part of that.
You SHOULDN'T drink random untreated water if you have any other choice, but if it's come down to a choice of "either I drink this dirty water or I start to die of dehydration" then you should absolutely drink the water.
I think he mostly does podcasts and shit like that on YouTube now. His channel also has every Survivorman episode available to watch for free, as well as commentaries on them. I think he does livestreams sometimes too but I don't know if they are a regular thing - I caught part of one a while back where he was streaming a little concert/Q&A thing he was doing. He offhandedly mentioned something about doing a new Survivorman season if the network wanted to do it, but I'm not sure if he was just teasing or if that's really something that's in the works.
As this anon
mentions he also does a show on YouTube called "Wild Harvest" where he forages for wild edible plants (and sometimes animals) and then has a chef cook them up. It's kind of interesting watching a professional chef work with wild ingredients, and of course Les always shows the process of identifying and gathering the ingredients.
Wouldn't you just get more dehydrated because of the inevitable
diarrhea?
It's certainly possible, yeah. That's why you should be careful and avoid any water that looks, smells, or tastes particularly foul. Like everything in a survival scenario, it's a choice you have to weigh. Should you drink the water now, or should you hold out until you find some better water or until you can find a way to boil it (if you don't have a container this can be difficult, but there are ways to make it work)? Can you make it long enough without water to do either of those things? Are you sure you can find more water? And if you do, will that water be any better? It could very well be worse.
But one thing to keep in mind is that without water, you WILL die within a few days, and will likely end up too weak and debilitated to survive even before the dehydration kills you outright. With water, you MAY get diarrhea and become dehydrated from it. But one is a certainty, the other is a possibility.
This. The more I think about Les' approach to survival, the more correct it seems. I don't really watch too many others, but I have seen some Dave Canturbury and Canadian Prepper on youtube, and both of those guys do some weird shit sometimes that I think is incorrect. Both of them lean heavily into LARP territory, with Dave advocating only the biggest, most heavy duty, rugged, old school gear, and Canadian Prepper advocating carrying all kinds of tech and heavy shit that you simply don't need. In contrast, Les advocates minimalism above all else. You don't want to be carrying all this extra shit in a survival situation. You don't want ANY extra weight. You want to make things as easy as you possibly can for yourself, not harder. Les is totally fricking right about that. He's much more pragmatic than either of those other guys. He pointed out a fantastic saying that really illustrates this in one of his episodes, "If you don't need to walk, stand. If you don't need to stand, sit. If you don't need to be awake, sleep." That's brilliant and he's fricking right.
Yeah, exactly. I'd still die in the wilderness, but the knowledge I've gained from Survivorman would enable me to survive for at least a couple extra hours.
If I followed the example of morons like Bear Grylls I'd try scaling a fricking cliff or some shit and then just die. In any kind of survival situation you should NEVER take unnecessary risks.
Oh right, I forgot about that method. I think he used it on Survivorman at least once (but I think he used his hat to hold the water instead of a hole).
>(if you don't have a container this can be difficult
Schizo that has been preparing for the apocalypse here.
Just make a fire, put some stones in said fire, dig a hole, fill the hole with water (use your hands or find a big leaf or something), and then put the hot stones into the water. You should probably filter it with a cloth or some other way though.
Used to? Have you seen happened to people that got parasites from drinking water in the wild in foreign countries? People have lost limbs and almost died from drinking dirty water, others got paraplegic, it gets worse if it's not moving water like from a pool.
>This was made by a plasma rifle
Explain his encounter, homosexual OP. He was out in the Alaskan wilderness with nobody else around for miles. He starts feeling like he is being watched. This is actually caught on camera when he keeps glancing out towards the treelline but can't see anything. Then, only when he turns the camera off since he was done filming the creation of his shelter, does he hear incredibly loud, ape-like bellowing coming from the trees where he had been looking. He see's one single tree swishing side to side as though it were being shaken by something. After listening to this two more times, he reaches to grab his camera, and suddenly hears so big that it sounded "like a freight train" rushing away through the woods, crashing and smashing through everything in its path. A fricking bear isn't going to do that, nor is a moose. What the frick did he encounter if not a bigfoot. An escaped Gorilla?
>What the frick did he encounter
Alex Jones on pcp
Windego
He ate some forbidden berries
A bear
A bear
A bear
but you said bear 4 times?
>A bear
>A bear
>A bear
>Les Stroud, who has encountered bear numerous times and has never had trouble accurately identifying them before, encountered a hooping and hollering bear that he mistook for a bigfoot
You're the fricking conspiracy theorist here.
Where's the audio of the hopping and hollering? Where's even a single crumb or proof other than just blindly taking his word on what happened? Remember this happened while he was literally filming his show so he had ample mics, cameras, and batteries and his best evidence is him looking in the distance a couple times?
Funny how people always conveniently turn off the camera immediately before all the crazy stuff happens.
Blame the bigfoot. Les was filming his shelter building until he finished, so he turned his camera off because he had a limited amount of battery life out there and couldn't afford to run it when there was no reason. Bears don't bolt when you reach for a camera by the way.
>bigfoot knows what a camera is and specifically avoids being photographed or videotaped
Yes? You seem woefully uninformed about Sasquatch tendencies. You probably still think they're flesh and blood animals too.
Unironically, apes are never captured on trail cam. They always see the camera before the camera sees them. Apes will suddenly appear right in the lens of the cam if at all if they get close enough to investigate.
They hide from satellite, thermal, and camouflaged cameras as well. They're like reverse Instagram ninja.
Wtf is that pic? It looks spooky
Me watching Helena Bonham Carter masterbate.
sweet, when does the new RE5 drop?
>Then, only when he turns the camera off since he was done filming the creation of his shelter, does he hear incredibly loud, ape-like bellowing coming from the trees
Ahh, another case of those omniscient sasquatches that somehow can just tell when there are cameras around.
Pretty standard behavior for fae and fae-like spirits, yes.
Saw a moron on one of these shows try to point out to others a BF foot print in a gravel bed at the bottom of a running creek bed.
kek
Survivor man isn’t one of these shows but yeah
Divorce, alcohol, Canada, Trump and Bear Grylls broke him. He used to be the best. Most kino show in the early to mid 2000s
>Bear Gyrlls broke him
Terrible bait
You know what? Frick you guys. I like Les. I learned a lot about survival from watching Survivorman as a kid. The very first episode of Survivorman is still one of my favorites. It has this raw quality that was lost in the later seasons. That was my very first time seeing a firebow.
The music is kino
Whenever I'm out in the "wilderness" (like a national park or some creek bush or some shit) walking or hiking or whatever I always hear this in the back of my head.
Its funny knowing the chant thing at the start is just Les speaking into a can.
the Bigfoot thing was stupid but the original run of Suvivorman was kino
>the Bigfoot thing was stupid
Did you even watch the show? Survivorman Bigfoot was actually good. He never goes all in on it. He just treats it as an impartial investigation. It's FUN.
>the original run of Suvivorman was kino
Yes, it was.
Yeah he's gotten a bit weird in old age but OG survivorman was pure kino. Something so comfy about those series. You can see him starting to really struggle after a few days without food.
Think it's fair he's pissed off at idiots like Bear Grylls who turned it all into a meme while he's doing it on hard mode.
This is. When Wes took a sharp turn but I get the network was pushing for more
Survivorman was kino.
I don't know what the frick he's doing now but most people who live in the wilderness alone for long periods go crazy.
A survival vid with him and Outdoor Boys guy would be epic.
When will he return bros
He's old, dude. Could he really just come back and start doing what he used to?
He should've had a protégé
he tried that with his son but he got leukemia or something
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA what a weak loser
I doubt anyone would want to, you ever see the fan challenge episode? Les went out of his way to be as unhelpful as possible and let the guy needlessly suffer just to prove his point of how tough it is. Plus there is his social media where he gets mad if someone IDs him at a bar, or gets mad if he has to check his bags at the airport, or gets mad and calls out waitresses by name because they didn't stroke his ego enough. He seems like he might be a prick off camera.
>Les went out of his way to be as unhelpful as possible and let the guy needlessly suffer just to prove his point of how tough it is.
But that was the entire point of the episode. To show that it's not as easy as he makes it seem (because he is an expert, and the average person is not), to show the kind of struggles an inexperienced person would have, and to let the guy feel what an actual survival experience is like. It was still Survivorman, not "Backwoods Camping with Les Stroud." Yeah, he was harsh, but survival is ALWAYS harsh.
>Plus there is his social media where he gets mad if someone IDs him at a bar, or gets mad if he has to check his bags at the airport, or gets mad and calls out waitresses by name because they didn't stroke his ego enough
Proofs?
Maybe the waitress was just a c**t? You do know that c**ty waitresses exist and are quite common, right?
another of him being pissy because other survival shows are more popular than his
Did you even read it? He's pissed because he was almost denied permission to shoot an episode, because the park rangers assumed he was some Bear Grylls type who just wanted to make a show that would give people "advice" that would actually get them killed.
I'd be pissed off too if I created a genre-defining actually educational TV show and then a bunch of adrenaline junkie homosexuals started making worse versions of it, which also give people terribly wrong impressions about surviving in the wilderness. And then to top it all off, those other shows get so popular that people start mistaking you, the originator of the genre and the one with the only legitimate show, for one of the homosexual copycats, making it difficult for you to do your job because now they don't want to work with you because they think you're a moronic, dangerous homosexual and not an expert.
I think Les is the fricking man and even though he’s ranting here it’s not cringe in any way. The one thing is why he linked up with Todd Standing. I’m perplexed there.
>Les is a jerk
this post made me like Les more
He could probably tone it down, do less days and bring a bit more kit but yeah, it's a real rough gig to do the full week with nothing when you in your 60's
Les was kino bear Grylloids were all homosexuals in school too.
I remember seeing the episode where he had his squatch encounter as a kid and always wondering why he seemed so twitch there. I don't know if it was actually a sasquatch but there was definatetly some big animal that was stalking him...and it made ape sounds apparently.
Given the whole business that went on of a ship sending a guard out to check on him during this does make one wonder if there are secret Bigfoot research grounds in parts of the pacific northwest.
See that massive pile of shit, a Sasquatch did that.
>Sasquatch (probably) did that.
Unless there's so fat frick indian leaving huge turds on the side of the road.
Indian poop is splattery brown water with some chunks, not a giant steaming Sasquatch mound.
>See that pile of fallen trees, a Sasquatch did that.
this
but unironically
>self proclaimed filmmaker
>has never once had a camera pointing at the "weird" stuff he claims
>duhhhh bigfoot is psychic and contacted me and I declined meeting them
I used to like Les but the criticism he got for teaming with Todd Standing clearly broke his ego entirely and he's been a sensitive b***h ever since
Can we talk about Todd Standing? How did anyone take that weird moron seriously even for 2 seconds?
What's weird is the majority of people didn't take him seriously at all. Les even talked about in a directors commentary that when he pitched the bigfoot show the initial network exec told him he needed to work with someone other than Todd because he's a known liar with zero credibility and people don't like him. Les mocked that as how can any bigfoot researcher be considered credible and went to a different network entirely because he respects Todd because he actually goes out into the forest. That was pretty much the only reason Les gave for dying on the Todd Standing hill.
>he respects Todd because he actually goes out into the forest. That was pretty much the only reason Les gave for dying on the Todd Standing hill.
This.
Who funded Todd’s Bigfoot doc in the first place? He had like 50 pics and videos of Bigfoot and they all looked like different masks and actors, didn’t even try to make them look real. Was that before or after he hung out with Les?
glowies probably
Before. Les uses some of Todd's footage in his bigfoot episodes.
So how did Les rationalize Todd after seeing the stupid documentary of his? Jeff Meldrum the one main guy who studies bigfoot was on Todd’s doc and only briefly appeared then didn’t want to return and was all around being rude to Todd whenever they were on screen together because Todd is such a grifter. Les…?
>me on the right
les stroud is doing bigfoot now?
i gotta see this
Just Google Survivorman Bigfoot, or go to his YouTube where he has all his shows uploaded. He did an entire season on trying to hunt him down
>les stroud is doing bigfoot now?
>i gotta see this
It's surprisingly entertaining. Don't listen to the memes.
>now?
It was made in 2012 or something.
Paranormal moments are one in a quadrillion whether bigfoot UFOs or ghosts, you either experience it and spend your life chasing it in vain or like most people it never happens to you and you go on living 'knowing' that stuff is BS. The truth is our there and the odds you having a camera set up perfectly the exact fleeting moment it happens and not just standing frozen in a state of utter disbelief is astronomical. Les had his encounter way back then but like most people didn't act when he should have now he spends the rest of his life chasing it and believing psycho con men hoping it will help him in his chase but it won't.
Bigfoot stuff is harmless fun, and if you're one of the redditors who gets completely apoplectic about how they're not actually real because Neil deGrasse Tyson and the other soiyence gods said so... Well, that just makes it more fun so cryptid chads will keep winning. I know there's a 90% chance you're the anon who made one of the recent Les vs Grylls threads which was full of your seething posts
I never understood why people like him sperg out so much if you even entertain the possibility that creatures like Sasquatch could actually exist. It's a weird lack of curiosity that seems antithetical to an actual scientific mind. There's enough smoke to the stories and sightings to seriously look for the fire.
>There's enough smoke to the stories and sightings to seriously look for the fire
No there isn't. Theres 0 smoke
You don't know the stories and you aren't willing to learn about them.
>DNA
>dermal ridges
>bigfoot literally exists in fossils
Bigfoot is almsot certainly real. It would be more outlandish to me that it’s fake and the FBI is out there with scientifically crafted realistic Bigfoot feet and leaving weird DNA for people to find decades later. Something is out there.
Oh yeah, well I have one question for you then. Where's the poop? So me an animal, I'll show you some poop. Where's the Bigfoot poop? Checkmate cryptocryptid
What is your point, you’re saying bigfoots are spraying diarrhea all over the forest? They almost certainly bury their shit.
>they have to bury it or else my stupid idea makes no sense
You're starting from the conclusion and working backwards to justify it
No I’m basing it off the things you initially responded to that can’t be explained. I’m not fully convinced but I think it would be whackier that Bigfoot was fake this whole time.
Going off on a tangent I think the government knows about bigfoots which are actually just hominids and are intentionally keeping it quiet.
>the government knows about bigfoots which are actually just hominids and are intentionally keeping it quiet.
Why?
The amount of psyopping to get popular opinion to shift to “yeah I guess Blacks are people” is incredible, imagine a bigfoot up on a podium grunting and hooting while a translator states the bigfoot demand welfare or reservations or some shit.
They’d have to give them rights. Timber companies, suburban development, and really just the cancer of humanity slowly spreading to every part of the planet would be fricked. Easier to kill them than risk losing out on profit.
>I think the government knows about bigfoots which are actually just hominids and are intentionally keeping it quiet.
Bigfoot itself isn't the problem. The problem is that its existence implies an origin, and the origin is outside of our concept of reality. That's the secret. Not bigfoot.
>No there isn't. Theres 0 smoke
https://invidious.privacydev.net/watch?v=VGfIIjN-P7o
https://invidious.privacydev.net/watch?v=blC6b5Mf408
Whatever you say, schizo.
>you're the anon who made...
false, i listen to Sasquatch Chronicles, ghost, alien, weird shit to fall asleep.
Can you prove that Sasquatch doesn't exist? No? Concession accepted.
>Hey this show is cool
>DID YOU SEE THE CREATORS FACEBOOK POSTS DON'T YOU KNOW HIS POLITICAL OPINIONS YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HE SAID 30 YEARS LATER
why are internet spergs like this
>OH N-
chuckled from just seeing the thumbnail
>we will never get a kino Bagans/Stroud crossover event
This egotistical pyshco actually fricked up his lungs and blinded himself hunting ghosts
The ghosts did it. He finally got the proof of the paranormal he was always looking for.
Where's the proof the heckin peer reviewed studies? HAS THIS BEEN SCRUTINIZED BY FACT CHECKERS?
Les is based. I once won a survivorman give away so that means I have the most credibility in this thread.
do you wear your survivorman shirt?
Twice and then I lost it. I wear the bandana most often, I use the metal drinking bottle now and then, never listened to or even opened the cd, and the DVD was the Beyond Survival season.
Nice, was the banana still yellow when it arrived?
Nice.
CHOOSE TWO and ONLY two, Cinemaphile. Could you survive?
I think I gotta go with the flint striker. Matches will run out or they can be ruined by getting wet, it won't. The neosporin is useless - by the time an infected wound starts to actually cause you problems, you'd probably already be dead anyway. That's really something you'd want for long-term survival, but you aren't surviving long-term if all you have is a bottle of neosporin.
Everything else would be extremely useful, but I choose the striker because there's no way I could manage a fire without it. If I can find some trash, like a pop can and some twine, I can make my own fishing line/hook.
For me it’s metal cup and flint striker but I might forgo the cup for neosporin idk.
I'm moronic, I thought it said one and only one, not two and only two. In that case, I go with the striker and the fishing line (or the hatchet, if the striker itself doesn't have a piece of metal to strike the flint with). One fish will provide me with more protein than the entire bag of beef jerky. I'm no great fisherman (though I'd like to be) but if I can find a plastic bottle and do the trick Les shows to use it as a reel, I might have a chance.
Realistically, survival tip from yours truly, you could make a rudimentary fishing hook from a decent piece of snapped branch, like a forked branch and just shave it down to make it sharp. For line, use thin strips of wood from a tree and tie it together. Crappy (sunfish) will bite at almost anything so you don’t necessarily even have to use bait, but you can always dig for worms. Soon as the crappy snaps at the bit of sharp wood just yank it out of the water. Typically, if you’re actually fishing with a real hook you’d set the hook by waiting a moment after you feel the initial bite of the fish then yank which lodges the hook in the fish’s mouth when you do it right and reel it in, but you’re gonna have a hard time doing that with wood but with crappy, they are always near shore where the sun hits the water. You can eyeball your catch rather than feeling it out like if you were casting and angling with a rod, soon as you see the bit of wood slip down the little guy’s throat just yank (but not toooo hard) and hopefully the wood will catch just enough and the fish biting down will be sufficient force for the fish to stay on the line while you pull it up out of the water onto the shore, then just stomp it or smack it or get ahold of it right away so it doesn’t flip back into the water.
For more survival fun, crappy will willingly and easily swim into fish traps. I have a fish trap that I use to catch crappy and use them as baitfish. Just drop the trap into the water with some bait, bread or whatever in it and then pull the trap out filled with crappy. I always had a manufactured metal basket but you could always just take the time to get some sticks together than are pliable enough to bend and tie them together using the same kind of wood strips you use to make the line to make a basket, then attach it to a line with some bait, drop the basket in and when you see fish enter pull it out.
t. I would catch crappy this way as a lad
I don't want to say I ate crappy.
Interesting, thanks for the tips.
I wish there were crappy where I live, they sound easy to catch. Since I started fishing earlier this summer all I've caught are brown bullheads. I ate one, it was... okay. I might have overseasoned it, but there was just something about the taste I didn't enjoy too much. Outside of that we mostly only have walleye, northern pike, channel cats and yellow perch unless you go up north (which I'd love to do some day, I really want to try Arctic Char because in the Survivorman episode where he catches them they look fricking delicious).
Where the frick do you live where there’s no crappy? I thought they’d be in literally any fresh body of water in the Americas. Besides, I’m only talking if you were stranded in the wilderness and were starving to maybe try for some crappy. You can always scout out the shoreline to see if there is any, if there are there’s gonna be a million of them before you invest time in weaving a basket or whatever. All that said I hate catching fricking crappy as a sport fish. I catch and release and I feel like it’s too easy catching crappy. You can eyeball a huge crappy swimming by the shore and just toss your line right in front of him and almost certainly he will bite. I don’t even bother. For me, it’s bass.
>Where the frick do you live where there’s no crappy
Manitoba, Canada. Apparently there ARE crappy here but they're only in certain waters, all of which are at least couple hours from me, and they're an introduced species or something.
We have thousands of lakes but barely any good fish, it seems.
>All that said I hate catching fricking crappy as a sport fish. I catch and release and I feel like it’s too easy catching crappy. You can eyeball a huge crappy swimming by the shore and just toss your line right in front of him and almost certainly he will bite. I don’t even bother. For me, it’s bass.
I only release what's not big enough to justify eating (or what is too big for me to legally keep). To be honest, I wouldn't mind an easy fish; it would be nice to just catch something that I can take home and cook up if only for the morale boost.
I've wanted to try catching bass but that's another case of "they're around, but only if I drive a couple hours." I've also tried fishing for trout at stocked ponds but had no luck aside from a couple babies. But maybe I'll have better luck (and be able to travel farther to better spots) next year.
The entire US east coast is bass city.
>not filling your limit of crappie, sunfish and bluegill in a day and having a big fish fry for your friends and family
ngmi
>fishing with a loicense
I've been illegally fishing and poaching for 20 years. Ever since I poached a big elk in Argentina from private property, I couldn't give up the thrill. Now, I make a point of exclusively poaching when I'm hunting. I poach so much that I know all the areas of South America with controlled game, and that's where I go to poach. I pick the breeding season, or egg-laying season if I'm poaching partridge, and I eat all the eggs I find raw on the spot. I share it with my german pointer, Poacher. Last week I poached 17 times, ran into law enforcement 8 times, shot cops 3 times and poached the purity of 2 female officers.
I was married once, but when our firstborn arrived, I was poaching. When she said her first words (it was "dad, poach!"), I wasn't around. I was poaching. When our second child was birthed, I was fishing for underweight bluefin, and took my father-in-law with me. I had subjugated him into the poaching ways. He has been my poaching partner since then, and even was a witness during the trial for the guard of our children (my case was that I was poaching, and that is much more important than children. I won). I intend to poach one type of illegal game per country before I'm dead.
Be aware. I might be coming to your country next, and you never know just what I might poach. I will never stop poaching. Some men cope, some men seethe, but I poach. I only wish crappy weren’t so common so catching them would be considered a poach.
I only poach eggs myself.
Nothing like a California condor egg over-easy on toast.
>t. cartoonishly bloodthirsty bad guy hunter from a disney movie
Are you Indian? Why would you eat poo caught in the river?
>he doesn’t scoop brownfish floating by with his landfill net made of soda can binders and eat them as a delicacy, extracting the nutrients from the corn within
Apu from the Simpson accent: “Never going to make it.”
crappy thread
Master and Commander on blue ray, and the Neosporin.
what are you going to do with it? stare directly into Russel Crowe's eyes while using the neosporin as lube to jerk off?
I come across an injured sasquatch. treat his wounds with the Neosporin and become its friend.
It then leads me back to its camp with many other Squatches. I throw M&C on their movie player, and we watch it in the forest late at night, after the kino ends they lead me home the next day.
plot twist: they only have a VCR
lmfao
yeah. I'd be homosexual not to
i'm a professional arm chair survivor.
hatchet and striker is what you should go for first. light and heat are the most important things you need before anything else
Hatchet and fishing line easily in most regions.
>t. Cinemaphile
>basket weaving forum
>chooses the goy line instead of crafting his own fishnet and picking a more useful option
>COULD YOU SURVIVE?
How long we talking? If it's only 2 weeks, I'd take the Hatchet and the Matches. If it's longer, I'd take the Hatchet and the Flint Striker. Either way, it's the hatchet and a way to get a fire going.
hatchet & ferro rod
neosporin and the jerky
i aint going hungry if im getting fricked
>hatchet
can craft other tools, fishing spears, shelter etc
>flint striker
saves you hours of fire prep so you can stay mobile
Hatchet and metal cup.
The fishing line is too situational.
jerky and some matches to cook it
>See that pile of fallen trees, a Sasquatch did that.
See that Sasquatch? That's your mum, that is.
Anybody know the video where the family is fricking around by a lake and all of the sudden this dark figure in the background climbs out of the lake and takes off running? Wanted to rec it to someone who was doing reviews of supposed squatch footage.
Yeah if you go on tubi one of the free squatch docs analyzes that footage. I think it’s the Unwonted Sasquatch or Sasquatch: Among Wildmen. If you want an actual analysis of bigfoot stuff not by psychos, Jeff Meldrum is your guy. If he’s in it, you can listen to what he says without grains of salt. He’s an anthropologist and weird shit to do with Bigfoot foot casts is what got him interested in the possibility of bigfoot because, just a quick QRD, a couple of bigfoot casts he analyzed had very specific deformations that humans can get that indicates a certain disease or injury, except it was on this 16” long print, and he could not explain it. I said in an earlier post, if that was faked it has to be some high budget government psyop or some shit to gaslight people into believing bigfoot, no hoaxer is going to be able to pull some insane shit like that off.
>Anybody know the video where the family is fricking around by a lake and all of the sudden this dark figure in the background climbs out of the lake and takes off running?
fricking what
Just what I said. It's suspiciously similar thematically to the Memorial day footage. I thought somebody here or on /x/ linked it once.
>bobo
"it's feelin' awfully squatchy in here..." is his catchphrase. think a stoner who had half his brain removed. by far the most likable character very laid back feels that he has a spiritual connection with the bigfeet and can sense them. likes to do acid on go in alone for days out in the bush. breaks up fights
>cliff
ACSTHUALLY SCIENCE IS INTERESTING yes-man to matt
>matt moneymaker
one of the most notorious demented narcissistic maniacs in the history of squatching. a lightning rod. zapp brannigan meets richard dawkins. EXTRAORDINARILY DEFENSIVE talks like he's a god
>ranae
antagonist of the show. the troll. the skeptic. needles matt constantly. her catchphrase is "look i'm not saying i know that bigfoot doesn't exist i just don't think we've found any evidence here". a bull dyke who will not back down. a steely-eyed realist
I always wanted to hatefrick the dyke.
i'm sad for les. s1-3 of survivorman were great, much better than anything similar (at least compared to what else falls into this category on tv). his comeback with s4 was pretty good, but it all fell apart after that with him trying to live off the grid, his wife leaving him, and then he was trying to do the show with a friend, his son, and then bigfoot shit?
i'm more than willing to entertain the idea that something like bigfoot exists, but i don't want to see les doing it. go back to being a campy survival show, les, i liked that you didn't start out every episode by parachuting into it
>his wife left him
The frick? He’s Les Stroud. Dumb prostitute.
i forget why she left but it was during the time he tried moving 'off the grid' even though he had solar and all kinds of shit. it was during s4 or afterwords and he never came back from it. last time i saw les on tv it was on pbs, he was picking berries for some cooking show. he deserves better
>'off the grid' even though he had solar and all kinds of shit
Living "off the grid" doesn't mean you don't have electricity and shit like that. It just means you get that electricity in a way that isn't connected to the electrical grid, such as solar panels.
i cant be assed to look it up but as i recall: he used the money from survivorman s1-3 to build himself a really nice 'off the grid' house, it was pretty much self sufficient, but his wife didn't like something about being that far off the grid or away from civilization, and it was the final straw in an already strained relationship.
I wanna try fishing but all my local water sources are too poisonous. Shouldn’t dumping poison into the water be illegal, or is that antisemitism…?
Are you sure they're actually too poisonous? I've always heard rumors like "you shouldn't eat fish from so-and-so river because it's toxic." But most governments/wilderness management agencies will have some kind of document made specifically for fishermen which tells you the levels of contaminants like mercury in various watersheds. I've found that, at least here, the places people say you shouldn't fish in are actually mostly fine.
But yes it should be illegal to poison the environment. It wouldn't be antisemitic to ban it, but it would cost corporations a bit of money which would mean the CEO would get a lower bonus, and we cannot have that.
Shit like this is everywhere especially in Florida where all the brackish “water” is 50% motor oil / 40% asbestos.
my home ec teacher brought in a tv to watch survivorman for his class
and sometimes he'd go on rants about technology and society which I later realized here were excerpts from Uncle Teds manifesto
it was my favorite class
Bigfoot is from another dimension. "aliens" are also from another dimension. Bigfoot and "aliens" both use telepathy aka mind speak. Dogman is another inter-dimensional entity. The truth about existence is so much stranger than the lie we've been sold that it hides itself. Fae, will-o-wisps, yokai, poltergeist, demonic activity, etc. All inter-dimensional phenomena.
can someone remake this meme without the bottom text
gotchu
Better.
Frick off George Snoory
>mogs your edgy 'survival' show
What’s the worst animal you could bump into in the wild? Any animal.
Anything with the ability to injure or kill me.
Reminder that samsquatch is on the US gov’s list of shit to watch out for when training in the military doing field ops along with grizzlies, great whites, etc.
What a dumb answer, a huge moose could shred you in twain but it probably wouldn’t and you could spook it off. Try that with a fricking tiger.
Probably one of those or an aggressive grizzly bear.
Mosquitos.
Coconuts
that cougars been doing some pull ups
A pull up for a cougar is breaking an elk’s back and dragging the body back to its lair.
Mountain lions are just autistic if Messi is anything to go by.
BFB. Big fricking bear.
An angry chimp.
One of Florida's herpes macaques.
>north american pavement ape
*blocks you’re path*
Did he deserve all this? He just wanted to pick berries and make kino.
This is what happens when you don't have a good agent and aren't smart enough to make decisions for yourself.
Wtf? Movie starts off with Les Stroud playing himself creeping in on his friend’s naked wife playing video games.
lmfao. Now I like survivorman even more.
KEK
so Les Stroud and his friend immediately fall into a pit, and his friend is having a meltdown seeing what supplies they have and the dialogue goes like this
>OH LOOKIE HERE THE SURVIVORMAN TV SHOW KIT ONLY $4.95 LET’S SEE WHAT’S IN THIS MOTHERFRICKER SHALL WE?
>WELL YOU GOT COOKING UTENSILS. THOSE’LL COME IN HANDY IN THIS HOLE.
>OH LOOK AT THAT, A RAPE WHISTLE! HELP SURVIVORMAN I’M GETTING RAPED!
>THERMAL BLANKET, ONE THERMAL FRICKING BLANKET…
>A BULLSHIT KNIFE…
>PIECE OF PLASTIC NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS, SURVIVORMAN CREDIT CARD PLATINUM EDITION.
>AND A FRICKING COMPASS.
>YOU SHOULD HAVE PROBABLY PUT IN THE FINE PRINT THAT THIS KIT DOESN’T HELP YOU IF YOU FALL INTO A FRICKING CAVE.
>YOU BETTER HOPE WE GET OUT OF HERE.
>IF WE DON’T, YOU’RE GONNA BE DEAD.
>WITH THESE FRICKING HANDS RIGHT HERE YOU’LL BE DEAD.
>NOW I’M GONNA DIE OUT HERE.
>FRICK YOU AND YOUR GODDAMN DOG.
kek wow what the actual frick
Did they do it ?
Okay Bear Grylls is a “phony” but isn’t he a navy SEAL killer ops guy or something?
He is a homosexual.
Are those survival shows like naked and afraid staged? Are those "survivalists" posers? Every single one I've seen acts like a moron.
Yeah, what about it?
>How dis make you feel, white boy?
If you watch his directors commentaries he comes off as such a bitter old prick. Spends most of the time co planning about his editors, the networks, bear grylls, people ripping him off, not feeling like he gets the recognition he deserves, then Hawkes his shit for like 5 minutes. It's pathetic.