>Kramer learns that mutants don't legally count as humans, and illegally registers as one in an attempt to avoid paying taxes on an inheritance
>Meanwhile, George accidentally makes a blood pact with Mephisto, ushering in a new era of darkness upon mankind and damning billions of souls to an eternity of pain
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 CRIME Shirt $21.68 |
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jery get ipad
>what's the deal with microtransactions?
Elaine winds up dating Peter Parker. She never figures out he's Spider-Man, and breaks up with him over dinner a few months later in an extremely awkward moment because "you're never around!".
Wasn't there an episode like this? I feel like there was an episode where she had a boyfriend who seemed sketch or some shit, she dumped him and then it turned out he was secretly rich or famous or a hero or something and she regretted it.
>Green Goblin kidnaps her and kills her anyway when Spider-Man does't show up.
Kramer suddenly finds out his over seas israeli pen pal is actually magneto
But why change it to marvel when it canonically takes place in DC universe
%3D
DC comics universe is more serious heroes coming to save you and then go home to their family or whatever, Marvel comics is more "and then some bullshit happened and Johnny missed his date and Peter laughed at him for it".
This. Jerry is a huge superman fan.
>You will never see Jerry's drawings of naked Lois Lane
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Because New York City, ya dummy
why would they be interacting with any major players?
kind of defeats the point
Jerry is dating a mutant, but he was distracted when she said what her power is. At this point it'd be awkward to ask, so he spend the rest of the episode trying to figure it out without directly asking.
She should be a telepath
Jerry dates another mutant who’s perfect but her mutant power is to talk to flies and this starts to creep him out even though it’s completely nonsensical.
George dates a mutant with a mon-combat related power and jokingly calls herself an X-man because she works for Xavier’s school as an accountant or something and this starts to bug George because he thought he was dating a REAL X-man before learning she isn’t actually a superhero, just X-men adjacent.
yeah all the time he's wondering, she's reading his thoughts
george manages to land a job at a small company which gets bought out by stark industries, so then he tells a woman he's interested in he works for Iron Man. Then the lie snowballs out of control and now he has to convince her he's Tony's new sidekick in order to stay together.
>George Constanza is....WAR MACHINE?!
>it's mild confrontation machine at most
George has an encounter with a woman who turns out to be a vampire. She seduces him into a secluded alleyway, and is about to drink his blood when she suddenly gets a mildly disgusted look on her face for seemingly no reason and leaves. George takes this as an insult, and spends weeks trying to track her down. He finally finds her and demands an explanation for why she stopped. She's about to explain, but then Blade pops up out of nowhere and kills her.
>tfw 2 ugly for vamp chicks
I seriously hope you guys don't do this.
This should really be a joke where George eats a lot of garlic for reason x or he carries some weirdo smelly talisman or whatever because plot and doesn’t get the woman is a vampire, so you get 1-2 instances where she fails to eat him because of the garlic/talisman drives her away and then she just gives up and ghosts him. Then George sees her again randomly but she pretends she doesn’t notice him and flees, which makes him to become obsessed with finding why, and then the ultimate punchline is he doesn’t notice that Blade kills her just after he’s finally found and confronted her because he gets distracted by something else, like a B-plot in the episode causes a commotion at the background, so looks away for a second and she’s already evaporated when he turns back and he thinks she ghosted him again. And George gets all the more angry because he can’t figure out why the woman keeps avoiding him. And then Elaine or someone makes a remark about the talisman/garlic smell and George is too dense and still doesn’t get that’s what it was the all time.
Actually the end joke should be that Elaine notices the garlic, says maybe the woman was a vampire, and George won’t accept it and says “I wish, I’m at the point where I would welcome a relationship where they just drain me of my blood”.
Jerry and the guy that plays kramer are homosexuals because they kissed in a episode. Nasty.
Jerry does a stand-up routine making fun of the Hulk, but then he sees someone who looks like Bruce Banner in the audience, and he spends the rest of the episode wondering if it was actually Bruce and being paranoid about the Hulk coming after him because of the jokes.
Elaine dated a Madrox dupe and later finds out he wasn’t the real one and talks about how she’s angry she got duped.
>So have you ever asked yourself what's the deal with Spider-Man?
>He doesn't have eight arms and legs and he's still in high school!
>He should be called Sticky Hands Boy!
>But then again, that's what you could call 90% of teenage boys
George starts dating a woman who works in the same legal office as Matt Murdock. When it's just him and Matt in the room, George picks his nose and thinks he sees Matt giving him a dirty look. He spends the rest of the episode trying to convince everyone that Matt is faking his blindness
Gotta love when OP just expects Cinemaphile to create an epic thread for him
well it worked
George would be the kind of guy that works at the shell company of a supervillain doing nothing but sit in an office all day.
>It was the best job I ever had Jerry.
Jerry as Mr Fantastic, George as The Thing, Kramer as the Human Torch and Elaine is the Invisible Woman. Newman can be Doctor Doom.
>Krammer finds an old Crimson Dynamo suit in an alley.
Kramer finds a job as a Hydra goon, but he thinks it’s some kind of a St. Patrick’s day parade gig because the costumes are all green. It’s all a big misunderstanding because he got the address wrong and later accidentally sends the Avengers to their HQ when he starts talking about the Red Skull to Newman while in a cab driven by Jake Lockey, saying how weird these new St. Paddy traditions are getting and not sure how cutting one’s head and growing more has to do with being Irish
Elaine gets a job as a personal assistant to renowned philanthropist and suspected crime boss Wilson Fisk. At first its a great job and he's real nice and she tells everyone how he's not a bad guy. George starts thinking how these suspected criminal employers all just need a fair shake and are victims of gossip mongering newspapers, so he gets a job at Oscorp. Unfortunately, Norman Osbourne is even crazier than Steinbrenner and George suffers. Elaine also has to quit her job because Fisk gets "too chummy" and tries to tag along outside of work, which upsets the group because only him and elaine can fit in the booth at Monk's and George, Jerry, and Kramer have to sit a table over and talk loudly to continue the conversation.
Kramer comes back from Bob Sachamano’s bachelor party and is utterly convinced he saw the Hulk in Las Vegas, the gang get annoyed because Bruce Banner has been dead for months
Joe Davola reemerges as Bullseye
>Elaine keeps being really racist to mutants in public and it makes Jerry embarrassed
>Jerry's ap't. Int. KRAMER rushes through the door.
><Kramer> Jerry! You're not gonna believe it!
><Jerry> I'm pretty sure I won't.
><Kramer> I got an invite to Krakoa!
><George> Krawhatnow?
><Kramer> It's a mutant island paradise! I can finally live with my peers in perfect harmony!
><Elaine> So it's like Utopia.
><Kramer> Elaine it's so much more than Utopia. Krakoa has everything you can ever dream of! Bars! Parties! Gladiatorial pits! Luxury toilets!
><Jerry> Kramer you're not a mutant.
><Kramer> That's the kind of anti-mutant slurs I won't tolerate anymore, Jerry! I've seen the light!
>KRAMER exits and slams the door. JERRY, ELAINE and GEORGE stand there silently for a moment.
><Jerry> I give it an hour until the Quiet Council throw him in the pit.
><George> You're on!
Lul
>Newman is somehow involved in Black Widow's backstory.
>Frank Constanza insults Doctor Doom at an official event because him being a supervillain made Frank's business idea of hoodies with protective face masks unprofitable, as they remind people of Doctor Doom
>George is convinced he's a mutant and that he should have a better life at the x-mansion. Turns out he is, but his mutant power is he stops being a mutant if he finds out he's a mutant.
>Elaine is sure Tony Stark was the guy she slept with after a college party 10 years ago.
More
George gets a symbiote. It goes great at first. But he gets too clingy/needy and the symbiote dumps him
>George goes to Our Lady of Saints Church on the night Spider-Man gets rid of the symbiote instead of Eddie Brock
"WE ARE GETTING UPSET!"
yes
>Kramer runs into Jerry's apartment, both out of breath and exited. When Jerry, George, and Elane ask what has him so hyper, Kramer explains that while dumpster diving he came across something amazing. He pulls out Spider-Man's costume and tells them they could sell it for millions. While Elaine and George are ecstatic about the prospect of money just falling into their laps, Jerry asks Kramer why the suit is black when Spider-Man's suit is clearly red and blue. Kramer asks him if he lives under a rock and tells him the webslinger changed his look, probably to stay hip with the teenagers. Elaine tells him to put it on so they could get a picture before they auction it off. As Kramer goes into the bathroom to change, Jerry can't help but think it's strange Spider-Man would just leave one if his costumes just laying around in an alley. George interrupts his doubts by telling him about all the stuff they could do with the money. Before long, the three start shooting off ideas, so entrenched in their fantasies that they don't notice Kramer laughing maniacally in the bathroom.
Elaine would 100% be a mutie hater
>Seinfeld: You don't like mutants? What'd they ever do to you?
>Elaine: There's just something about them, freaks me out
>Seinfeld: I thought you liked that Angel! You're always waving to him when he goes by. *Mock waves* Yoohoo!
>Elaine: Well... yeah. In a mysterious taboo kinda way.
>Seinfeld: A fantasy.
>Elaine: Yes! A fantasy! Thats what it is! But I wouldn't date him real life, it'd be like... like...
>Seinfeld: Like...?
>Elaine: Like dating a pigeon.
>Seinfeld: A PIGEON?
>Elaine: I dont even like it when a guy has a hair back, let alone FEATHERS.
>Seinfeld: Well, you're something else.
>Elaine: I know.
>Seinfeld: The X-men do great work.
>Elaine: I know, I know. We're all very impressed.
>George: Guys! Guys! You'll never guess what happened today!
>*Bursts in flat, he's now red and has a big horn on his head. Jerry gestures to him and Elaine puts her head in her hands. Freeze frame, laugh track, theme*
>*Fade to Jerry at club*
>Seinfeld: Mutants huh? You know what I don't get about mutants? That Angel. He's got those big wings but he still rides in the Blackbird! What, did he miss the airplane food? Too much leg room up in the sky? Years of evolution leaping us forward to a new dawn... but I really need one of those little hot towels. *mimes dabbing his head* Lemme tell ya, a may be a mutie... but I sweat like a New Yorker.
>BADA BA BA DUM DUM TSH
>Kramer: Jerry, I don't think you're taking this seriously enough!
>Seinfeld: Ohh, whats to take serious. So a few more guys run around in tiights. This is New York, I see Hulk three times a month on the subway.
>George: Yeah I ran into that Spider-man at H&H, swiped the last cream cheese before I could get it
>*George shakes head angrily, laugh track*
>Kramer: My pal, Bob Sacramento, you know what he says?
>Seinfeld: I'm sure you'll tell me
>Kramer: He says mutants are going to replace people like you and me. In ten years? *pop!* We'll all be gone Jerry.
>Seinfeld: Can you go now?
>*Laugh track*
>George: Mutants? Pfft. It's not fair. You see them on TV complaining they "lost the genetic lottery". Well so did I! I'm bald. I'm stocky. I try to run one block and I get conniptions.
>Seinfeld: It's true Ive seen it.
>George: Where's my mansion? Where's my space jet? I guess if you're not shooting lasers out your eyes IT DOESNT COUNT
>*Elaine enters*
>Elaine: Hey guys
>Kramer: What's that in your hair?
>Elaine: N-nothing.
>Kramer: No there's something *starts grabbing at her hair*
>Elaine: Stop it Kramer its nothing!
>*Kramer pulls out a long white thing*
>Kramer: A feather?
>*Elaine looks ashamed, Kramer tries throwing away the feather but its stuck to his fingers, long laugh track*
>Seinfeld: *Smugly* To me my X-men.
>*Laugh track, freeze frame
DUM DA DUM DUM DUM
>*Jerry at club*
>Seinfeld: Spider-man, Spider-man, does whatever a spider can... Spiders cant do that much can they?
>*Laugh track*
>Seinfeld: He really must have pulled the short straw on naming day, because he cant have picked that himself. "Yes, I can climb walls, swing webs... and I throw up stomach acid to digest all my meals" If you could pick your own Superhero name, you'd pick something a bit more impressive right? Like... "Amazing at sex man*
>*Louder laugh track, someone woos*
>Amazing at sex man, Amazing at sex man, does... whatever someone amazing at sex does.
DA DA DADA
very good
These are spot on kek
Someone use ai to voice these ones
In the Days of Future Past future they send Costanza's mind back in time but he just relives the Summer of George and forgets to warn anyone about Senator Kelly's assassination.