She never got invited to private celebrity parties. I think it’s why she hasn’t moved past the iCarly career. She doesn’t attend parties where she can make connections with movie producers
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woah...she's never had alcohol, that's like...wild, man.
i've got something for her to smoke on if you comprehend the true meaning behind the words that i am typing.
I am afraid I am failing to decrypt what you seem to be insinuating, anonymous user.
He'll burn his wiener and ask her to smoke that out idk man I'm not a hacker
cut it out
i got my last girlfriend addicted to weed. i feel bad about it.
Pay for her rehab treatment
Didn't some anon frick her or party with her at a college party?
yeah that was me
yeah i was with him
I remember the first time I went to a USC party that Miranda Cosgrove was at.
It was at a frat house and I was hanging out and talking to people when this huge guy, probably around 6'5 came up to me and grabbed me by the shoulder and told me very sternly to "come with me, newblood". He led me down to the basement, and that's when I saw her.
She was completely naked, on her hands and knees, on top of a large blue tarp. A single bare lightbulb swung from the ceiling, and two massive football players were fricking her, one in the ass and one in the mouth. Her eyes were rolled into the back of her head, and she was covered in semen. The words "wienerGOBBLER" were scrawled on her forehead in permanent marker . The one fricking her in the mouth bust a nut down her throat, and she swallowed it all. She then started screaming "FUNNY POWDER, FUNNY POWDER" over and over at the top of her lungs. The guy that led me in handed me a ceramic plate covered in cocaine and instructed me to blow some in her face. I bent down in front of her and she coughed up a huge glob of cum onto the tarp and looked at me in the eyes, all while still being fricked in the ass. I grabbed a handful of cocaine and placing it in my palm, I blew it in her face. I had tears in my eyes and silently mouthed "but you were in iCarly". I stood up and another massive jock took my spot and started ramming her in the mouth. I then tried to leave but the guy who took me to the room told me "you have to stay until all the coke is gone lardlungs". I sobbed for the next 3 hours doing my duty until all the men were satisfied and she was passed out in a pool of jizz.
It was the worst night of my life.
I thought she was a good friend though
thank you for sharing anon, you are incredibly brave
this story seems fake. i've seen recent photos of her and there's no "wienerGOBBLER" written on her forehead.
my friend who studied at USC vouched for this story. Like not exactly this but Miranda was known around campus as a cokehead .
I frequently refer to younger dudes as newbloods.
How can you go through life never being buzzed or drunk even once and you aren't even a monk or nun or something. Why do it
it's totally possible, but then again, why would i rawdog life?
She probably has a super low tolerance for booze.
>How can you go through life never being buzzed or drunk even once and you aren't even a monk or nun or somethin
You sound like a fricking weak homosexual.
You sound like a friendless loser who didn't party in high school
>You sound like a friendless loser who didn't party in high school
Yeah, you have to drink to have friends and have some fun. Literally kys you fricking homosexual.
And you have NO friends haha
>And you have NO friends haha
You will die of liver disease like a weak homosexual with a fat wife. All over muh booze.
Oh right I forgot the only fun zoomers have is posting frogs on the internet
how many basedjacks you got saved on your phone right now? lol fricking homosexual go watch one piece
>herr derr you're a zoomer
I'm not, but you bleddit post like one.
Two more weeks, right homosexual? Go start another “kill all drinkers” thread, toughguy
The girl that played Britta on Community is also a teetotaler. Often times it's kids that grow up with an alcoholic in the family. They see that and never touch the stuff. It happens with children of smokers and kids with obese parents too. If you grow up around bad behavior, some people embrace it and some people avoid it all costs. But who knows what there reasons are.
>The girl that played Britta on Community is also a teetotaler.
She's also very pretty, over 30 and single with no kids. Something doesn't add up. I suspect mental illness.
She's married to the guy that created that piece of shit Bear show. They've been together for awhile, so she's been with him for his entire throw shit on the wall phase. Something finally stuck for him. Their relationship is one of the worst kept secrets among writers.
Britta visited our local diner and I was so fricking starstruck with her. I was a Brie fan but the way Britta acted around the diner the way she was so nice to everyone just made me fall for her. I dont' ucking believe you.
Oh she definitely had a couple sips of the ole Chateau Snyder.
That's why she was never Dan the Man's favourite.
this is neither admirable, or something to be scrutinized over. I don't care.
she's probably a really boring person.
>if you don't like my favorite drug, you're le boring
There's more to life, reddit npc.
She looks like my ex
Big British wiener is like crack to muttmericans, i'd believe it.
sip my nut c**t
I'm fricking KRANGED off Pabst right now homie
NNNNEEERRRDDD!!
oldgaybros, do any of you have the "ghost" pasta?
dam, so schneider didn't even have to get her drunk before getting a footjob? what a freak
>isn't walled
>isn't bogged
>has a great complexion
>"lmao dumb b***h don't even drink or smoke"
This. She is what most women should look like at her age. Instead they are all wrecked from years of drinking/weed/smoking/vaping and compensate with lip injections and other shit. And they're fat too.
Total Mormon Victory
>growing up Mormon
She was home schooled and pretty wholesome. She's probably one of the few good people in entertainment. She probably can't get any other roles because she won't frick everyone
>She probably can't get any other roles because she won't frick everyone
Conversely, Victoria Justice is fricking everyone and getting no work.
Miranda and VJ need to make a movie where they play pure trad wives
I honestly believe her. She's really dumb and sheltered.
What if we all chipped in for a yacht
im 37 and ive never been drunk or high
t. divorced failed normie with a job and own place
Uhhh yeah sure
>woman tells an obvious lie
cool?