>So anon, how was your weekend?
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>So anon, how was your weekend?
>So anon, how was your weekend?
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>Bereft of an answer, they returned to their routine conversation. Jim's upper lip quirked with undisguised glee as he and Pam continued prodding the dying spider on their desk with scalding hot pins. They could have sworn in the excruciating agony of its final spasmodically twitching moments, that it emitted a pitiful screeching howl, however impossible that may be.
ummm...you forgot to use your inner voice
He's right behind me, isn't me?
It was great thanks. Happy monday guys!
You've all turned against me
Okay thanks, I was shitposting on /misc/ and Cinemaphile quite a bit and got tonnes of "you"s. Hey did you know what the Talmud has to say about us non-Jews?
Hi guys. When are you gonna admit you are in love with each other? Hurry up and date already.
It was good, I had a promotion and I fricked your wife. How about you?
>My Weekend? I took the kids to disney land.
Pretty good thanks. I gooned to some BNWO sissy hypno for almost 4 hours, setting a new record. I videoed the big finish if you'd like to see?
Was going to say something similar
>4 hours
Did you hurt yourself
Not long enough.
Ask your mom, Pam.
t. Michael
Wait Jim, haven't you finished yet the report I asked you? how long does it take you to do a simple report?
anyway, Pam, can I see you in my office, I need you to do some work on me
happy monday Jim!
>tell me you are American without telling me you are American
It's the esl that sells it
>haven't you finished yet the report
good morning sirs
I had a boss that looked and talked just like him and it makes me seethe. The writers really nailed the middle-manager black with a huge fricking chip on their shoulder stereotype, which is pretty based
Random as frick boiiiiii
>jim, did you shit in dwight chair again????
sex, lot of sex
>same old same old
why was there not a scene in the office where Jim got thrown off the roof headfirst into the pavement by roy?
Why didn't Dwight ever snap and even the score with these two
He mindbroke Jim in one of the Christmas episodes. Pam was defeated by life.
Was Charles ignoring Kelly and Angela because he was secretly tearing Pam’s butthole while gym watched? Maybe. Maybe that is why gym was so intimidated by Chuck. Good boy Gym.
Kelly is made for aggressive but loving anal play exclusively with white men and I'm tired of pretending that she's not.
The disgusting stench of diarrhoea
I got drunk as a skunk off Fireball Thursday though Saturday gooning like a mad man and spent Sunday recovering though I spent the night with alcohol shakes and had to hug a pillow, curl up in a fetal position, and listen to sleepy music. I came in today and had to start on a presentation but have realized someone had started on like 75% of it a year or 2 ago.
No matter how much I frick up, no matter how self centered and degenerate I am, no matter what: I can always get away with it. Being born tall, white, and attractive is all that matters. Adding muscle is just pissing in normal gay's faces at that point.
Check em.
You're dead in your early 50s if you keep drinking that way. Enjoy your short life, anon. Also, how old are you?
I wish this was true. My moron dad would have been dead almost 20 years ago
>My moron dad would have been dead almost 20 years ago
He's not drinking as much as you think then
>guy who's happy and content, owning the normalhomosexuals
>needs to let his anonymous friends know how cool he is
Oh wait you're telling yourself all of this to make yourself feel better. This is some gay therapy session dude, hire a counselor.
shut the frick up dude. I hope a semi truck blindsides you
Hit the nail on the head. good luck loser, you'll really need it.
I don’t need any fricking luck you asshat. I am literally a senior executive at my workplace
A senior exec still working on powerpoints that an intern began a year ago, right. Maybe at your next role, go for the job that pays well instead of just securing the inflated title. Lol!
I work weekends 🙂
>you know she's engaged, right Jim?
loudly
Based. Pam would be scared to be seen alone with him after that
Whenever people ask me shit like this I always just say alright. That's it.
jim was a bit of an butthole wasnt he
What's up Halpert, still queer?
>Pretty good, how was yours?
lost $600 bucks at the casino, got a frick ton of meth and snorted a bunch then got into an argument with my wife sunday morning and then we went and took the kids to a model train event at the local vfw(my son loves trains) and went to the park up the road afterwards
it was ok. i should have left the table sooner but it was early. i did REALLY good two saturdays ago, i made like $1400 in under 2 hours
i need to stop drinking
>slips their gay question
>bobs their gay quips
>left hook to their bodies (2 each)
>left hook to their heads (1)
>they drop
>dwight rips off his shirt and has a ref shirt on, comes over and starts counting
>1
>2
>3
>4,
>jim starts to get up
>dwight puts a foot on jim's back then pulls out a gun he looks at me
>I nod him
>he executes jim shooting him in the back of the head
>he ded
>pam screams
>with her mouth open I turn around quickly and blast my oreoes and milk diarrea in her mouth
>dwight smirks and says "based mlord"
i hate these 2 so much
Dwight is a bigger homosexual IRL than those two. You'd hate him.
Whoa. You ok there big guy? You sound like you got a bad case of the Mondays
Everyone, make sure to pick up Dwight's book lmao
https://www.amazon.com/Soul-Boom-Need-Spiritual-Revolution/dp/0306828278
>SoulPancake
>now this
What a homosexual. Peddling his faux-spiritualism.
he's a bahai'i
it's what they do
Taoist here. Can I get a qrd?
Is that some kind of universalist tripe?
>face me in combat, jim!!!!!! Yer pink bellied boy!!!!!
>i know what you want
drank about 24 of mild alcoholic bewerages in the span of 2 days whipe shitpostin on Cinemaphile
you?
This pile was not here Friday morning.
you good man?
Drinkin right now actually. About to call for dirt, I am filling in a pool today, I need 200 tons of fill. Pretty shitty two days ahead of me. Ah well. $$$$$
>Fantastic Jim. Me and the family went hiking then made a fantastic breakfast together. My daughter had piano lessons and my son had violin.
>Still hitting on engaged women, or is that during the work week?
>Hey Pam! Forgot to give you this for the quicky in the bathroom this morning.
*Flick quarter on desk*
>You'll get the other one when you learn how to swallow.
>Now if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting with Michael about my promotion. Jim, looking forward to running your performance review. Pam, wear something nice and revealing for tonight. Don't forget to work on that gag reflex.
Almost had it until the quarter flip
>jim, its over. You have to let me go
is he ok?
He's base jumping.
why is it always brown skinned people doing idiotic shit like this
The guy survived, just in case any newbies are wondering
Great! I went on a great date with my girlfriend on Saturday, caught up with an old friend of mine on Friday, and then on the Sunday I hit a new benching BR and then just made myself some good food and relaxed a bit at home, watched some King of the Hill with the guys, you know how it is haha.
What did you two do? Stay at home while Pam made you look at your art again and drink too much wine?
>TFW I could make Pam cry by telling her I actually make money with art unlike her failed career, but then they'd ask to see my pictures for proof and I'd have to show them the furry guro drawings I make so I just say
It was pretty good. Same old, can't complain.
None of your business b***h
>stare directly at the mug between them
>mutter a quick *yeah*
>pick up pace away from them
Don't fricking smirk at me, pretty boy.
Pretty boy? You asking me on a date? I, uh, wasn't aware you swung that way, anon. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I’m a bartender so I was actually at work all weekend, tomorrow is Saturday.
I hate to break this to you, anon, but tomorrow is Tuesday.
this shit was actually insane
i'd have been waiting back at the office with a machete if i heard about this happening
>HEY HALPERT
If The Office was made today, Pam would have gotten the ick from Jim acting like such a pussy whenever he got confronted like this.
It'd definitely be grounds to at least dump her on the spot if she didn't report it herself.
I watched Blade Runner on repeat
Kanye kino screen
what the frick is up with all the ESL posts in this thread?