Controlling snakes doesn't really make you all that great in a world where people can summon giant golems to fight for them, let things explode with the flick of a wrist and brainwash people indefinitely with a single spell.
Yeah he had a particularly big snake at Hogwarts, but it didn't seem like he thought it to be so great as to take it with him on his conquering journeys. There is probably some potion that lets you talk to animals and some spell to make them do what you want too. Big wuff.
>kino bloodline that made him stronger than everyone else
Except for Harry who was descended from the ancient Peverel line and inherits three family artifacts that make him master of Death. Also bloodlines don't matter.
my gf dragged me to this, literally the worst thing I have ever watched on stage. a high school production of Fame is better. thank god we saw the shortened version otherwise i probs wouldve had to off myself
>incapable of feeling love >has sex with Bellatrix because
Voldemort didn't bang anyone when he was a literal chad at Hogwarts but settled for a mad hag?
?????
But the Chamber only opens for the Heir of Slytherin. Not a gay book or a gay book and also Harry Potter. Ginny and Ron must both be the heir of Tom Riddle because the chamber only ever opened in their presence.
Words cannot express how much I hate this bawd. Any time she's on screen I get physically ill. "Mummy have you seen the jumpah" shut the frick up you ugly b***h. I literally have to mute my TV and look away when she has her few kiss scenes with Harry or with the black guy, or else I'll throw up in my mouth. Such an irrelevant useless character. Harry should have ended up with Hermione or Luna, maybe both.
>Harry & Hermione barely get along in the books. Ron & her grow stronger for knowing each other & hang out all the time without Harry.
Rubbish. Harry and Hermione got on great. He just related to Ron more with him being a boy. As for Ron and Hermione the books forced them together from book five onwards(Forced as heck)
No they didn't. Harry fundamentally didn't understand Hermione, Ron did. Ron also wasn't a moron in the books like he was in the movies. He was always the one thinking ahead & offering insights. And he pays attention to Hermione. He quotes her a lot, & knows what has her attention. That's the reason she has the "take me right now" moment in the corridor when Ron mentions saving the House Elves, because he cares about what she cares about even when she herself forgot about it. It means the world to her to finally understand that Ron knows her & cares about her on that level. Harry doesn't even hardly have feelings, or understands much about other people. He is generically nice & isn't a dick, but he isn't very social. He spent his childhood shoved out of the way.
>Ron also wasn't a moron in the books
Dude he made Hermione cry far more than Malfoy ever could. Ron couldnt even hug her or let her win an argument. He blaimed her personally for having a cat while his rat was eaten.
In other words Harry was the lynch pin in their whole relationship.
>He blaimed her personally for having a cat while his rat was eaten
Bullshit, he never even had a rat. It was a cowardly pederast pretending to be a rat. You clearly never read the books or saw the movies or went to Islands of Adventure or purchased an exclusive wand from the New York Harry Potter store. I bet you only pretend to like it because you're a chud
7 months ago
Anonymous
>Bullshit, he never even had a rat. It was a cowardly pederast pretending to be a rat.
Which is still a rat you clown. Oh and Percy owned him before Ron, You'd know that if you had actually read the books.
7 months ago
Anonymous
If Harry's psychotic godfather hadn't exposed him, would Peter have stayed Ron's rat until the end of his natural life?
Would Voldemort have failed to return, since he didn't have Peter as a servant?
7 months ago
Anonymous
>If Harry's psychotic godfather hadn't exposed him, would Peter have stayed Ron's rat until the end of his natural life? >Would Voldemort have failed to return, since he didn't have Peter as a servant?
He would have stayed close to, Harry through Ron yeah.
Ron was trying, in an uneducated & immature way, to impress her & express that he liked her. Like pulling on pigtails. It's not until he gets some sense that he actually acts right. And yeah, if the boy the girl likes is mean to her she's gonna cry a lot more than the guy she fricking hates being mean to her.
It made sense that Ron and Hermione hooked up as teenagers, he was horny for her, she didn't have anyone else around besides Harry and both went through a lot of shit together. But them marrying is just bad writing on Rowling's part. All the teenage romances somehow ended in marriages.
It got even sillier with her later slapped-on canon. He becomes a store clerk in his brother's shop, while Hermione become the goddamn Prime Minister. If they actually married, they would be divorced after a year or two.
Ron was gifted & so was she. He would have gotten a respectable office job in the ministry, he'll if ANYONE went on to be the PM of magic England it would have been Ron, while Hermione would have become a teacher or some kind of magic sciententist forging new spells & theories. Hermione was shit with politics. They would have complimented each other incredibly well in their adult lives. He was grounded & charismatic, family focused. She was brilliant, skilled, & not held to conventional use of magic.
7 months ago
Anonymous
>respectable >office job in the ministry
Wizards don't deserve magic.
7 months ago
Anonymous
Britain doesn't. Stodgy fricks could suck the fun out of anything
7 months ago
Anonymous
>Ron was gifted
In what?
7 months ago
Anonymous
>In what?
Eating.
7 months ago
Anonymous
Strategy, wizarding lore, combat magic
7 months ago
Anonymous
[citation needed]
7 months ago
Anonymous
>Strategy,
Wizard chess. >wizarding lore
He grew up knowing of magic, hardly the same
>combat magic
Got beat by Hermione who was also taught by Harry(Both muggle raised).
7 months ago
Anonymous
>strategy
What, how? He plays chess?
>wizarding lore
He knows as much as any random wizard who didn't grow up in the muggle world. Hermione usually knows more than he does, despite being a mudblood.
>combat magic
How even. He was shittier than Harry and Hermione. And Harry knows like two spells.
>Harry should have ended up with Hermione or Luna, maybe both.
There's no such thing as divorce in the wizarding world. Harry knocked Ginny up at a college kegger and had to marry her. Obviously he could no longer publicly pursue Hermoine, and she chose Ron because he is callow and weak-willed, and because she would be close to harry. Harry and Hermoine kept a sexual affair going for years, and even ended up inviting Luna to their trysts, and she happily joined in.
>Harry should have ended up with Hermione
Oh gawd no. I wouldn't wish her on anyone
"No Harry it does NOT go in that hole!"
"You are doing it wrong Harry! Its pene-TRA-tion!"
"Ive read a book about this! The penis is inserted into the vegana!"
Haha if I was Voldemort and I was possessing Ginny's body I would make her be such a bawd lol. Like I would make her suck and frick all her friends. Especially Harry haha. Like as a prank. He'd never see it coming.
No like what if in the final confrontation Voldemort could go to Harry and say "remember that time Ginny was eagerly sucking your wiener and slurping up your delicious cum? Well that was me Harry Potter! I, Lord Voldermort, made you finish in my mouth." Haha like Harry would be so shook.
it's not gay, what part about it being a prank don't you get?
Harry would be so shook that Voldemort would probably win if he did that, haha.
7 months ago
Anonymous
Gay is gay. I don't care if you're pitching, catching or just playing with balls
7 months ago
Anonymous
You aren't getting it. Its ok for a few reasons. First its just a prank haha. And second Voldemort was in Ginny's body so it isn't even really that gay. Thirdly it would have helped win the war so that would make it worth it suck Harry's wiener a few times and maybe cuddle a bit.
7 months ago
Anonymous
But what if Ginny's stalker obsession for Harry transferred through the mental link between Voldemort and his Horcrux?
Teachers at hogwarts must be the biggest frickin failures in the world if you have the world at your fingertips with magic and by the end of school the only thing the kids can do is summon a spectral animal and shoot little force bullets as a literal army of evil is coming
Most wizards have no talent and just get taught what they need, to be useful worker drones. Just like regular school in real life.
Most of them even work for the government later.
>make such a big deal of Harry being able to speak Parseltongue >Ron just vaguely imitates some snake noises and opens the door to the Chamber of Secrets
Still hate this bullshit.
The Slytherins were really full of themselves for their minor bonus skill and didn't expect people could just immitate it easily. Take that Slytherchuds
No, however she is indeed a pureblood from one of the few remaining pureblood families
It was always suspicious how the poor and muggle-loving Weasleys managed to stay pure for so long, seemingly only bending their rules for the future minister of magic Hermione and the most famous wizard alive Harry
And?
the diary was the heir of slytherin you moron
Riddle was the heir. He used the book to mind control her into thinking she was
so dumblegay was lying and voldemort actually had a kino bloodline that made him stronger than everyone else.
Voldemort was a mutt
Controlling snakes doesn't really make you all that great in a world where people can summon giant golems to fight for them, let things explode with the flick of a wrist and brainwash people indefinitely with a single spell.
Yeah he had a particularly big snake at Hogwarts, but it didn't seem like he thought it to be so great as to take it with him on his conquering journeys. There is probably some potion that lets you talk to animals and some spell to make them do what you want too. Big wuff.
>kino bloodline that made him stronger than everyone else
Except for Harry who was descended from the ancient Peverel line and inherits three family artifacts that make him master of Death. Also bloodlines don't matter.
Voldemort was evil because his mum was an ugly femcel who had to use date rape magic on his chad muggle dad.
But how can Ginny be Riddle's heir when he died an incel virgin? Is Molly or Arthur Weasley Voldemort's offspring? The books make no sense
>died an incel virgin
Bellatrix forced herself on him a few times
>he died an incel virgin?
Not canon. He made sex on Bellatrix and she had a daughter named Delphini whose all cool and punk rock.
my gf dragged me to this, literally the worst thing I have ever watched on stage. a high school production of Fame is better. thank god we saw the shortened version otherwise i probs wouldve had to off myself
>incapable of feeling love
>has sex with Bellatrix because
Voldemort didn't bang anyone when he was a literal chad at Hogwarts but settled for a mad hag?
?????
>Voldemort didn't bang anyone when he was a literal chad at Hogwarts but settled for a mad hag?
Voldemort died a virgin as he wasnt interested in sex; Which annoyed all the girls/woman who wanted him.
>Voldemort died a virgin
I hate to break it to you.
>I hate to break it to you.
The play doesnt count.
Isn't it being made into a movie which will make it canon?
>Isn't it being made into a movie which will make it canon?
Rowling never wrote it though, so doesnt matter if it does.
>The play doesnt count.
I wish I was still as innocent as you
It's a parallel to Merlin.
She got it from his used tissues.
Voldemort only jacked off to snakes of course.
who needs love to frick something?
the need for sex is a phisical need just like breathing and drinking water
>But how can Ginny be Riddle's heir
She isnt. Ginny wrote in a magic book that stole her life force and forced her to do shit.
But the Chamber only opens for the Heir of Slytherin. Not a gay book or a gay book and also Harry Potter. Ginny and Ron must both be the heir of Tom Riddle because the chamber only ever opened in their presence.
Lockpicking lawyer would take that Chamber entrance apart in one minute
It opens to parseltongues or however you spell it. Any snake speaker can get in
the frick is wrong with you, why would you give a shit aobut putting your dick in some slags wet hole when you have the universe to decode
>And nothing ever came from it again.
Voldemort is the heir of Slytherin.
So Slytherin are the bad guys?
>So Slytherin are the bad guys?
Most of them yeah.
>"Oh Harry, you've found me, here in the basement where I'm so damp and vulnerable..."
This explains a few things.
> PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP
Words cannot express how much I hate this bawd. Any time she's on screen I get physically ill. "Mummy have you seen the jumpah" shut the frick up you ugly b***h. I literally have to mute my TV and look away when she has her few kiss scenes with Harry or with the black guy, or else I'll throw up in my mouth. Such an irrelevant useless character. Harry should have ended up with Hermione or Luna, maybe both.
Harry & Hermione barely get along in the books. Ron & her grow stronger for knowing each other & hang out all the time without Harry.
>Harry & Hermione barely get along in the books. Ron & her grow stronger for knowing each other & hang out all the time without Harry.
Rubbish. Harry and Hermione got on great. He just related to Ron more with him being a boy. As for Ron and Hermione the books forced them together from book five onwards(Forced as heck)
No they didn't. Harry fundamentally didn't understand Hermione, Ron did. Ron also wasn't a moron in the books like he was in the movies. He was always the one thinking ahead & offering insights. And he pays attention to Hermione. He quotes her a lot, & knows what has her attention. That's the reason she has the "take me right now" moment in the corridor when Ron mentions saving the House Elves, because he cares about what she cares about even when she herself forgot about it. It means the world to her to finally understand that Ron knows her & cares about her on that level. Harry doesn't even hardly have feelings, or understands much about other people. He is generically nice & isn't a dick, but he isn't very social. He spent his childhood shoved out of the way.
Are you a woman? This is so fricking gay it has to have been typed out by woman hands
>Ron also wasn't a moron in the books
Dude he made Hermione cry far more than Malfoy ever could. Ron couldnt even hug her or let her win an argument. He blaimed her personally for having a cat while his rat was eaten.
In other words Harry was the lynch pin in their whole relationship.
>He blaimed her personally for having a cat while his rat was eaten
Bullshit, he never even had a rat. It was a cowardly pederast pretending to be a rat. You clearly never read the books or saw the movies or went to Islands of Adventure or purchased an exclusive wand from the New York Harry Potter store. I bet you only pretend to like it because you're a chud
>Bullshit, he never even had a rat. It was a cowardly pederast pretending to be a rat.
Which is still a rat you clown. Oh and Percy owned him before Ron, You'd know that if you had actually read the books.
If Harry's psychotic godfather hadn't exposed him, would Peter have stayed Ron's rat until the end of his natural life?
Would Voldemort have failed to return, since he didn't have Peter as a servant?
>If Harry's psychotic godfather hadn't exposed him, would Peter have stayed Ron's rat until the end of his natural life?
>Would Voldemort have failed to return, since he didn't have Peter as a servant?
He would have stayed close to, Harry through Ron yeah.
Ron was trying, in an uneducated & immature way, to impress her & express that he liked her. Like pulling on pigtails. It's not until he gets some sense that he actually acts right. And yeah, if the boy the girl likes is mean to her she's gonna cry a lot more than the guy she fricking hates being mean to her.
You dudes have never experienced young love
>He blaimed her personally for having a cat while his rat was eaten.
Seems rational.
It made sense that Ron and Hermione hooked up as teenagers, he was horny for her, she didn't have anyone else around besides Harry and both went through a lot of shit together. But them marrying is just bad writing on Rowling's part. All the teenage romances somehow ended in marriages.
It got even sillier with her later slapped-on canon. He becomes a store clerk in his brother's shop, while Hermione become the goddamn Prime Minister. If they actually married, they would be divorced after a year or two.
>nooo you can't just marry your teenage sweetheart! you have to bawd it up until you're 40 first!!
Ron was gifted & so was she. He would have gotten a respectable office job in the ministry, he'll if ANYONE went on to be the PM of magic England it would have been Ron, while Hermione would have become a teacher or some kind of magic sciententist forging new spells & theories. Hermione was shit with politics. They would have complimented each other incredibly well in their adult lives. He was grounded & charismatic, family focused. She was brilliant, skilled, & not held to conventional use of magic.
>respectable
>office job in the ministry
Wizards don't deserve magic.
Britain doesn't. Stodgy fricks could suck the fun out of anything
>Ron was gifted
In what?
>In what?
Eating.
Strategy, wizarding lore, combat magic
[citation needed]
>Strategy,
Wizard chess.
>wizarding lore
He grew up knowing of magic, hardly the same
>combat magic
Got beat by Hermione who was also taught by Harry(Both muggle raised).
>strategy
What, how? He plays chess?
>wizarding lore
He knows as much as any random wizard who didn't grow up in the muggle world. Hermione usually knows more than he does, despite being a mudblood.
>combat magic
How even. He was shittier than Harry and Hermione. And Harry knows like two spells.
>Ron also wasn't a moron in the books
kek. Okay, Ron
Women don't give a shit about any of these things, if you ever treat a woman this way she will not like you
Harry and Hermione get along great in the books. Better than Harry and Ron, who spend a significant amount of time seething at each other.
They want/need to frick each other, that's why they are so emotional. Harry is bland so he fits with anyone.
>who spend a significant amount of time seething at each other.
Apparently you dont date much do you?
>Harry should have ended up with Hermione or Luna, maybe both.
There's no such thing as divorce in the wizarding world. Harry knocked Ginny up at a college kegger and had to marry her. Obviously he could no longer publicly pursue Hermoine, and she chose Ron because he is callow and weak-willed, and because she would be close to harry. Harry and Hermoine kept a sexual affair going for years, and even ended up inviting Luna to their trysts, and she happily joined in.
Luna was built for Big Longbottom wiener, & its a shame they didn't hook up
>Harry should have ended up with Hermione
Oh gawd no. I wouldn't wish her on anyone
"No Harry it does NOT go in that hole!"
"You are doing it wrong Harry! Its pene-TRA-tion!"
"Ive read a book about this! The penis is inserted into the vegana!"
sounds hot
Either Ron or Harry she had to train both of them. Ron was a pureblood and probably didnt know what oral sex was, let alone her special spot.
Harry was a blank canvas(Which would have been far better since he had no actual bad habits)
How was a book able to make a hologram of Tom Riddle and also talk to harry and other things?
The book was chunk of his soul with special enchantments designed to reopen the chamber
Eyo she looking fine here
Did you even watch the movie?
>And nothing ever came from it again.
Lets just say that from this point she had a thing for "dark magic".
Who was the hairiest Hogwarts chick?
The indian/Paki girl
>Who was the hairiest Hogwarts chick?
In the books, Fleur and Ginny.
4. Minerva McGonagall
3. Moaning Myrtle
2. Winky the house-elf
1. Hermione Granger
I feel like McGonagall shaves and only has a cute landing strip.
She transforms into a cat a bit too often, so some traits rub off on her
Bellatrix
Pajeeta Sisters
Luna
Hermione
Ginny
Tonks
better story would be if we found out Ginny was still under Riddle's influence in the later books
Haha if I was Voldemort and I was possessing Ginny's body I would make her be such a bawd lol. Like I would make her suck and frick all her friends. Especially Harry haha. Like as a prank. He'd never see it coming.
Why do you want to suck dicks so bad dude? That's gay
No like what if in the final confrontation Voldemort could go to Harry and say "remember that time Ginny was eagerly sucking your wiener and slurping up your delicious cum? Well that was me Harry Potter! I, Lord Voldermort, made you finish in my mouth." Haha like Harry would be so shook.
Sounds gay bro
it's not gay, what part about it being a prank don't you get?
Harry would be so shook that Voldemort would probably win if he did that, haha.
Gay is gay. I don't care if you're pitching, catching or just playing with balls
You aren't getting it. Its ok for a few reasons. First its just a prank haha. And second Voldemort was in Ginny's body so it isn't even really that gay. Thirdly it would have helped win the war so that would make it worth it suck Harry's wiener a few times and maybe cuddle a bit.
But what if Ginny's stalker obsession for Harry transferred through the mental link between Voldemort and his Horcrux?
Harry married her to purify and continue the bloodline
that's the best reason to marry someone
imagine being a wizard girl but wearing shoes lmao
Good. If any shills are here please make Hermione a cute mulatta in the reboot. Anons here will say they don't want it but they do.
>muh necro bumps
Go back to whatever php forum you crawled out of
>implying anybody here even cares about harry potter for this to be a worthwhile place to shill in the first place
it's a woman's movie
Imagine her wispy ginger pubes. Like embers in the snowy valley of her thighs.
Teachers at hogwarts must be the biggest frickin failures in the world if you have the world at your fingertips with magic and by the end of school the only thing the kids can do is summon a spectral animal and shoot little force bullets as a literal army of evil is coming
Most wizards have no talent and just get taught what they need, to be useful worker drones. Just like regular school in real life.
Most of them even work for the government later.
>make such a big deal of Harry being able to speak Parseltongue
>Ron just vaguely imitates some snake noises and opens the door to the Chamber of Secrets
Still hate this bullshit.
>Harry learns he can talk to snakes
>never gets a pet snake
Bravo [/spoiler]jk[/spoiler]
The Slytherins were really full of themselves for their minor bonus skill and didn't expect people could just immitate it easily. Take that Slytherchuds
Where's the sexy AI Ginny art?
>Where's the sexy AI Ginny art?
Stop it Tom, stop.
Needs beautiful red body hair everywhere.
Not bad. Now post some AI Hermione?
>Mommy have you seen my jumper?
>Yes dear, it was on the cat
What did she mean by this?
cant believe feminist moron Joanne Kathleen Rowling damsel'd Ginny
No, however she is indeed a pureblood from one of the few remaining pureblood families
It was always suspicious how the poor and muggle-loving Weasleys managed to stay pure for so long, seemingly only bending their rules for the future minister of magic Hermione and the most famous wizard alive Harry
Nothing that came out after 2014 is canon, regardless of the franchise.
Actually current history doesn't count either. The world just ended.
Thats why Harry slithered in her pussy
>And nothing ever came from it again.
Harrybros, not like this