South Park is scarily right

South Park is scarily right

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  1. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    family guy is better

  2. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    shiny silver breasts

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      DC already doing the engineer

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >implying she won't be flat with zero curves

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >thinking you're going to see breasts
      >in 2023

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        only if you live in shartmerimutt land like a backwards mutt

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Talking about a Disney movie
          >Anon's butthole hurts and he has to rant about americans with buzzwords he learned on /misc/

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >breasts
      >In a modern day Marvel movie
      They're put her in some dumpy potato sack outfit with the generic sci fi super hero movie look.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Holding hands

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      I doubt it, they're probably aware of how that can be sexualized and she will probably be wearing clothes or maybe even have a human form and only transform for like a minute of screen time

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      That might not be a bad thing. Noran was always kind of a buzz kill.

      nah, women's bodies have to be covered up by hollywood. she could look like a sculpture in a museum but that can't be allowed because males are thought criminals because evolution made our brains this way and it can't be allowed

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's funny how they believe in evolution but suddenly remember the nature bad nurture good when race and crime show up to party.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >shiny silver breasts
      As much as I would love to see a big ol pair of chrome bazongas, do you really fricking think disney would allow a femsurfer to actually have breasts?

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      South Park only piped up now that it's safe to talk about it after years of others calling out the problem.
      With that said, I'm with and

      Does anyone even care about the fantastic four?
      Like, who really cares as bout how they’ll butcher it. It’s not like they’ve had any good adaptations ever

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        They at least pointed out Black Panther wasn't very good at the time

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Implying she won’t be flat

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Best I can do is Silver Burkha. Nora Al'Arad will be from an enlightened space Mecca and a lesbian

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        She's gonna be called The Silver Sheet and just be a shapeless mylar blanket on a coat hanger they CG out

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          And anons will still make porn of her

          • 6 months ago
            Anonymous

            I mean, yeah

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      shiny balding alopecia sheboon head

  3. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Out a woman in it.
    And make her gay and lame.

  4. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Does anyone even care about the fantastic four?
    Like, who really cares as bout how they’ll butcher it. It’s not like they’ve had any good adaptations ever

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      People who actually read comics.

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        There are dozens of us! DOZENS!!

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      They will never do it well.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >does anyone care about FF?
      i don't. i care more about silver surfer

      here's the thing though: i seriously doubt that they're going to actually bring anything to silver surfer as a character. making silver surfer a chick doesn't affect whether it will be a good movie or not, which means they're already trying to make excuses to push idpol for clickbait

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      I care about Doom

  5. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    That might not be a bad thing. Noran was always kind of a buzz kill.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      I mean really, if they're going to do it with anyone it may as well be the surfer. Then you at least get a sexy sleek silver lady out of the movie. You're not likely to get much else at this rate.

  6. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why not just use Nova then?

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Dick Ryder is saved for something else

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        Not that Nova, Galactus' herald Nova. She's a broad.

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        Man and I thought Dick Grayson had it rough

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      I believe they are. This article is just misleading.
      It won’t be a female silver surfer but a female herald, which by character description is Frankie Raye Nova.

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        Let's assume they're not using the Surfer. That just asks the question though, why are you not using the surfer. The surfer is the most iconic of the heralds. You can expand on what that all means but that really takes a lot more time effort and focus than you can put into someone else's movie. And it's also stupid. Like okay we're just gonna have an alien black slime monster fight Spider-man but it's not venom guys honest. Oh wait here's a philosophically yet diametrically opposed mutant villain that's not magneto. Just lame.

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          >That just asks the question though, why are you not using the surfer.

          Because Surfer already has a movie and other cool heralds exist too, ya fricking moron.

          • 6 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Because Surfer already has a movie
            So doesn't everyone else in this whole goddamn cinematic universe
            >and other cool heralds exist too, ya fricking moron.
            And they're all third and fourth string that don't tie into some of the most ironic fantastic four books of all time. You're gonna sit there and tell me a movie would be better if they used fricking Terrax the Tamer? Not a chance.

            • 6 months ago
              Anonymous

              Terrax is for the inevitable Illuminati movie

            • 6 months ago
              Anonymous

              >And they're all third and fourth string

              WRONG

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          They’re doing a copycat
          villain thing like Ant-Man/Iron Man
          >Johnny vs Nova
          >Ben vs Terrax
          >Sue vs Fire-Lord
          >Reed can Air-Walker

          • 6 months ago
            Anonymous

            It’s Johnny vs Firelord
            Sue vs Air Walker
            Reed vs Stardust
            Ben vs Terrax

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        Let's assume they're not using the Surfer. That just asks the question though, why are you not using the surfer. The surfer is the most iconic of the heralds. You can expand on what that all means but that really takes a lot more time effort and focus than you can put into someone else's movie. And it's also stupid. Like okay we're just gonna have an alien black slime monster fight Spider-man but it's not venom guys honest. Oh wait here's a philosophically yet diametrically opposed mutant villain that's not magneto. Just lame.

        They’re doing a copycat
        villain thing like Ant-Man/Iron Man
        >Johnny vs Nova
        >Ben vs Terrax
        >Sue vs Fire-Lord
        >Reed can Air-Walker

        stardust could be a really cool villain that's feminine. we can't have nice things

  7. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Sue is the lead
    >Ben cucks Reed
    >Norrin is a woman
    >Reed is played by a 60 year old
    Yeah the more I hear about this the worst it sounds

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Ben cucks Reed
      So they're making another Ultimate Fantastic Four movie?

  8. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    I remember when Cinemaphile was horny for Stardust. Those were heady times.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      I vaguely recall that. War of Kings?

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Imagine a Stardust the super wizard movie.

  9. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >how we you know it's she?
    >she's surfing on a ironing board

  10. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >anon posts shit with no source
    >Cinemaphile will believe it

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Will this clickbait enrage me?
      >If yes, I believe it

  11. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    where are the people who thought Disney wasnt gonna pull the same race and genderswap nonsense on F4 characters

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Someone already tried the raceswap thing so they know how that'd play.

  12. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Naked silver woman
    >Somehow bad
    I don't see what we lose in this, and you don't need to change much about the Surfer to make him into a woman anyway
    Except it's Disney and we know it's going to be garbage and it would still be garbage if it was a dude because the movie will probably be garbage from the ground up

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Even a naked woman in MCU would look like she's rolled in a rug.

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        Just the way I like em.

  13. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    They just saw the biggest failure they’ve ever seen off the backs of almost 3 years of consecutive failures. What will it take for them to learn their lessons?

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      only bankruptcy

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        Ideally projects like this are going through rewrites and we're just hearing about the old ideas but the people in charge of these companies didn't get their spot for being smart.

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        As if the israelites in Citadel and Blackrock are going to let such a useful cultural tool like Disney go. Even if Disney makes another 20 nuclear bombs the name still has power. The only way to stop them is for an economic depression to hit the world.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >this is what will make it fail
      you are a fricking moron

  14. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    grifters existed before south park

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah let's not just gloss over that time Doom was a dweeby computer geek.

  15. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    That's why Disney was so pissed off. Also Sue Storm will be the lead focus of the movie.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Sue being the lead isn't such a big deal if they do everything else right. Honestly she's the one character who would give them everything they say they want but also result in a movie everyone else would probably enjoy. They'll mess it up of course but Sue's a character people actually like.

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        >they’ll mess it up of course
        nah

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        She's also the most powerful member of the FF. She was well on her way to wiping the floor with the rest of them while under the mental influence of Psycho-Man and Hate-Monger. Her force fields have withstood blasts from Galactus and a Celestial.

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          Well that's part of what I mean. Sue is someone who can very much and very believably kick everyone's ass sideways but it's more than that. Her being strong doesn't actually have to come at the expense of everyone else. And it especially doesn't have to downplay Reed because even they decide to not make him a brawler that's fine so long as he can still do science stuff.

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        Sue is the worst part of the FF.
        >science autist who depending on the writer can have loose morals
        >charming and carefree young man with a sense of humor
        >gentle giant bruiser hiding his sorrow behind a boisterous personality
        >boring straight man (well, woman) team mother. Her only mildly memorable moments happen when she chimps out if someone or something threatens Franklin or Valeria
        You can replace her with H.E.R.B.I.E. and the only people who would be upset are powerlevelgays and coomers.

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          straight man (well, woman) team mother. Her only mildly memorable moments happen when she chimps out if someone or something threatens Franklin or Valeria
          Get ready for the press tour parroting by all the actors and directors saying "Fantastic Four was always male focused, with Sue shoved in the background. This movie is the first time a female marvel hero is the strong leader of a super hero team in her own right! Finally we get a strong empowered female super hero who is also a mother!

          • 6 months ago
            Anonymous

            That would be the sequel. This one is going to be about Sue building her Fantastic Bodycount.

          • 6 months ago
            Anonymous

            >I want to imagine things in my head to get angry
            You sound sad

  16. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    If it meant naked silver bald woman with rocking body i would be all for this.
    But I know it won't be.

  17. 6 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      W-WOKE!

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        moron.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      what the FRICK is her problem anyway?

  18. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    PUT A CHICK IN IT!
    MAKE HER GAY!
    MAKE HER LAME!

  19. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Honestly when was the last time you gave a shit about the Silver Surfer?

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Always

  20. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Rather than her body being made of a cool silver material it'll be that she's wearing a frumpy but shiny space suit with the usual sort of Marvel design elements. I'm calling it now.

  21. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Tim Story version is the most accurate its gonna get
    grim

  22. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Favorite hero is silver surfer.
    >Read his collection in middle school a lot.
    >They are going to rape an' gape his character right before my eyes.
    Will this torment ever end?

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      i feel for you but try being a beast fan

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Silver Surfer doesn’t have much character as a herald. All of his fricking character comes AFTER he gets fired from his job.

  23. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Too bad none of us van make big screen movies. One way to fix the market is flood it. Put out 10 movies a month that have an all female cast, just completely destroy the novelty of having a woman character in a movie.

  24. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    I don't give a frick as long as its not Norrin and it's one of the other 2 female heralds. at some point moviemakers gotta at least read comics/wikis

  25. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Lol you dumbasses think it will be a sexy supermodel
    It's gonna be Silver Surfer: Lizzo version

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      damn it. i like Lizzo too. she's fun. why you do dis?

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Liking lizzo.
        >Ever.

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        She's the current go-to fat ugly person

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        Lol you dumbasses think it will be a sexy supermodel
        It's gonna be Silver Surfer: Lizzo version

        She's the current go-to fat ugly person

        Lizzo is cancelled forever for sexually abusing and fat shaming her obese backup dancers. Her fanbase has completely turned on her and she's currently being sued in a civil suit by her former employees.

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          Well not Lizzo specifically. Just a diverse beautiful body type
          Maybe that wheelchair creature from Loki s2 and Good Omens

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          >fat shaming her obese backup dancers
          How the turntables...

  26. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Silver Surfer is a character whose ethnicity or gender doesn’t matter but if course leave it to Cinemaphile to start throwing tantrums immediately.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Women bad.

  27. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >thing is happening for years on end
    >South Park points it out
    >DUDE SOUTH PARK CALLED IT

  28. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    I still hold onto the fact that the Silver Surfer cartoon is legitimately great. If just had more animation maybe it would be considered an all-time classic. Because comparing it to its contemporaries I can't really think of too many flaws that would be unique to it.

  29. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >OP on Cinemaphile is reportedly a woman.
    >Nobody has independently verified it.

  30. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Excellent, we need more silver b***hes. I hope she has a fat ass and visible nipples.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      You homies seem to think the MCU is an anime.
      Frick are these posts coming from, did you just wake up from a 5 year coma?

  31. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    South Park only started calling out this shit 4 years later when it became "acceptable"
    Nobody cares now, capeshit is already getting replaced by videogame and anime adaptations

  32. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Now I know that they're making bad Fantastic Four movies on purpose. They just don't want this IP to succeed.

  33. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    It should be aunt May

  34. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Don't sit in front of Hajime Sorayama in the movie theatre. Trust me.

    Also thank god, no more manass in movies.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      She's going to wear a frumpy capeshit suit with bezeling and greebling designed to eradicate aesthetic.

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        But then she won't be the SILVER surfer. Unless they age her up to like age 80 or something.

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          They'll vaguely shade the suit to be metallic, with no shiny bits on any of the sexual parts.

  35. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Remember when chuds wanted Kevin to replace KK at Lucasfilm?

  36. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why the frick is it so hard for them to make a good FF movie? Why do they keep making these moronic changes for no reason?

  37. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    The worst part is that you know gays will add some they/they/xer/xit or some other shit as well.

    When this shit eventually bombs the director or some homosexual female/trans actor will rant about the fans being white supremacists, racists, misogynists or some other shit like that.

    Really it feels scary to think that no media is safe from those song of b***hes, wish they would all die and we had a restart in general media.

  38. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    This would make me so happy if we didn't live in a world where she's going to look like a man, androgynous thing, or outright ogre

  39. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Hyperbole aside, not joking, I think they're intentionally sowing doubt and upset about the Fantastic Four movie, at this point. There have been too many news stories and "leaks" lately for me to not think they're in some way doing it themselves, or purposefully leaving it be instead of shutting it down. Maybe they are just that stupid and think these tidbits will hype people (Pascal casting et. al. supports that), but at this point I think it's aiming for outrage. It's made more people think about the FF movie this far out with no official announcement, trailer, or material, and it's so to-the-letter-stupid they're either testing the waters or intentionally making it sound bad so that if it comes out and is mediocre, people will go "Yeah, but look how much worse it was going to be! Based!"

    If this is all true, we all saw it coming and there's no real news about this, so there's no use getting upset at this point. If it's fake, or they're intentionally putting this out, then you're just playing into their hands. Just ignore it and let it die.

  40. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    The X-Men casting is going to be so fricked

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Honestly, the x-men should be diverse enough from the outset that you should be able to keep everyone faithful just by picking the right characters.

  41. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >hot naked silver woman
    finally, a gender bend I can get behind

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      You KNOW that's not what's going to happen

  42. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Aunt May confirmed.

  43. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    What's with these hopefuls that the character will be in any way sexy? Did a bunch of people come out of a Covid coma or something?

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