>Strolls into small town, USA
>Kills the entire police force except the one cum bawd cop and black cop
>kills the mayor
>kills several foreign gang members
>strolls back out without anyone questioning it or detaining him.
Wtf?
>Strolls into small town, USA. >Kills the entire police force except the one cum slut cop and black cop
Average experience in the life of a gigachad.
This and broke a gigantic counterfeiting racket.
He basically killed all the people the Fed etc would have had to kill to keep it all hush hush.
that’s just the american dream, baby
the novels are pure schlock but they’re quintessentially american
in one he gets into a fight in the twin towers and is shot with a .38
his pectoral was so thick and beefy it stopped the bullet short of his heart
i can’t remember which novel in the series it was but i’ll never forget the pure moronation of it all
Remember when he killed that Mexican guy with a single punch to the chest?
>the one that ends with him clobbering two women to death because one of them pulled a knife on him
wait, you're bullshitting?
I just started reacher but he struck me as the "kills men, knocks out women" kind of vigilante, does he actually do this shit, god damn
Oh yeah, he's an equal rights equal fights kinda guy.
That is some awful writing. I’ve read better fanfic
Fanfic, you say?
this was considered good enough material to make adaptations out of
cormac mccarthy wannabe
never read these but sounds like based moron kino
That is exactly what it is, man.
how the frick did this get published? seriously, the publisher must have had at least a thousand manuscripts in their backlog that were better than this lmao
Because this is boomercore and they actually went out and paid for it. It's like the romance novels that wine aunts consume like crack
Old boomers don’t care about prose, they just want easy to digest drivel about big agents beating up commies
There's nothing wrong with that.
>t. Dane
So the prose is dogshit, but just to confirm; he's being hyperbolic, right?
There's no way the author wrote this unironically?
You mean do they actually nuke South Dakota?
No, not THAT extreme. Was just wondering if he unironically set a collateral limit of 800000.
Yeah no, that part is hyperbole.
They're pretty fun. Schlock for sure, but fun. I think I've read about half the series. Middle of the series are probably the best, but some of the later ones are pretty good too.
Fun, but actually readable schlock I should say. My pops keeps giving me Clive Cussler books when he's down with them and holy shit they are bad. If there's a co-author (who does the actual writing) they're not too terrible, but the solo Cussler books are unreadable to me. I can never make it more than a chapter in
Harry Turtledove is kino
yes
>I hear 'y'all' love Ronald Reagan around here, Reacher said twisting another redneck's unshaven head off. 'Well you should know he believed in the American Dream so much he gave amnesty to ten million immigrant hopefuls, he added before pissing on the burnt remains of the Confederate flag.
Eh, I wouldn't say shitlib. More like your standard "muh democrats are le real racists" boomer cuckservative. He still kills loads of minorities and fricks all their women, but it's true that there is a carboard cutout of a white supremacist for him to knock over ever so often. Probably the author hoping people don't get the wrong idea about his 6'5 blonde, blue eyed überman OC.
He's like a Bill Crystal or one of those other RINOs. Believes in the magic dirt theory of integration but fiscally conservative and pro American imperialism.
Pretty much.
>You are already dead
AHAHAHAHA
this is some anime bullshit right there lollololol
What a fricking wild ride hshhs
If it's cringe on animes, imagine how cringe it is to actually, unironically read it
>You are already dead
Not what he means by that. He literally just killed another woman (her mentor) but she's kinda hoping she'll get a pass for being hot. That's what the
>One like me?
line is about.
Holy shit, Jack "you better hope you reach her before I do" Reacher, everyone!
>He stared at me.
>He stared at me.
Written by a confirmed moron.
These are my boomer dads favorite books. No wonder I’m moronic
Jup. Reacher is peak witty character written by an absolute moron, but it's fun if you accept it for what it is.
Holy frick this is crazy bad lol. I thought the shows dialogue was ass but it's definitely an improvement over this dogshit
As a person who didn't have a smart phone until 2016 and only then because my company paid for it and required it's use, I can attest that I have had similar conversations with people. Reacher is sarcastic and has disdain for stupid people. He plays along with the conversation to give him more opportunities to expose their ignorance. Is it simple and campy yes, but so are most people.
>if you’re flabbergasted that someone in 2024 doesn’t have a smartphone it must mean you’re stupid
post more
Sure. I had a boring ass job in '17 that required me to stay just attentive enough that I couldn't focus on any actual literature. Basically lived on boomer shlock at the time. I think I also got a couple of John Rain screenshots somewhere, which is basically Reacher but in Japanese.
Now I see why they casted Thad Castle.
No kidding. Half his lines would work just as well if not better in BMS.
The Chuck Rogers entries in the Mack Bolan series are everything Reacher tries to be and isn’t. They’re over the top but there’s an authenticity to them Reacher doesn’t have, and his Bolan has charm.
Unlike Child, Rogers can be funny on purpose. Yes Bolans are churned-out pulp adventures but you can tell he had a blast writing them and that makes all the difference.
>two mexicans
Weren't they Iranian or some kind of Middle Easterners? I remember two midget middle eastern assassins getting decimated by him.
>I put the gun to my temple
>He stared at me
>'Just kidding', I said
>Then I shot him through the center of the forehead.
>centre
does a non American write these?
Yeah they’re written by a gangly, chain smoking ex-BBC producer and have other conspicuous Britishisms, like characters saying “called” where an American would say “named.”
Americans say "A place named Banana Town" instead of "A place called Banana Town"? I thought both were in use over there.
t. ESL
For places it could go either way I guess, but Americans never say “he was called Charlie.”
Interesting, I googled around a bit and it seems that in AE, "called" and "named" are understood more literally. If you're called B, that implies this is just what people call you, not your actual name. You're named A, but people call you B.
You might hear something like “his name was Charles but they called him Charlie.” But “he was called Charlie” sounds distinctly British. To me anyway. And Reacher always says he was called so and so.
Best novel is the one where he discovers the small town is staying financially alive by getting paid to make customized snuff films.
People send the company shit like "here is a photo of my boss I fricking hate him. Here is 100,000 dollars can you find someone that looks like him and suffocate him to death with his own castrated dick and balls?"
That should have been season 2
Well shit, send Reacher too Innsmouth then! I'd love to see him action moron through a fishman town.
He'd punch Murlocs' heads off for 300 pages then swim down without SCUBA gear and blow up their underwater city with C4.
the author is a Brit mate.
honorary american
>in one he gets into a fight in the twin towers and is shot with a .38
>his pectoral was so thick and beefy it stopped the bullet short of his heart
is that why he hates 38 special?
Nah, he just thinks anything short of a bazooka is beneath him.
>you need to be a pro marksman within 11ft to kill someone with a .45
Jesus christ this is moronic.
>his pectoral was so thick and beefy it stopped the bullet short of his heart
>Wtf?
The white man marches on
2nd season was a bait and switch, led around by 2 women and a diverse team of quip morons
The second season is even worse in this respect. This show is completely detached from reality in every single way. Nothing they do in it essentially is possible. The law doesn't work like that, gun fights don't work like that, fist fights dont work like that, police don't work like that, the human fricking brain doesn't work like that with the ridiculous deduction bullshit. It's a complete power fantasy akin to an anime.
So you just have to suspend you disbelief if you want to enjoy it.
To be fair it goes both ways. The very first novel has random goons assassinating people with a single punch like they're Mike Tyson and Subzero rolled into one.
It was a colossal blow. Explo-sive. Her head snapped violently sideways and round and her legs gave way and she fell to the ground vertically like an empty suit of clothes slipping off a
hanger.
Chenko squatted down next to her. Waited a moment for the body to settle and then felt the neck for a pulse. There
wasn't one.
'You broke her neck, he said.
Vladimir nodded. 'It's about placement, he said. 'The main vector is mostly sideways, obviously, but you try for a little rotation, too. So it's not so much a break. It's more like a wrenching action. Like a hangman's noose'.
'Is your hand OK?'
'It will be tender tomorrow.'
-t has never punched someone
You could say that his actions are a bit of a Reach
well jack me off with a reacher round anon that was a good one
I've never even heard of this. It sound incredible.
This series is corny garbage for moronic boomers and incels who gaslight themselves into thinking it’s good because the protagonist is an over the top alpha white male.
Reacher operates on fricking cartoon logic and somehow manages to take itself seriously.
You got medical insurance?
Can someone explain to me why Reacher almost gonna killed in hand to hand combat with that lil homie with the buzz cut? That guy wasn’t even half Reacher’s height and his arms were twigs.
if only season 2 followed the same formula
I dubbed Reacher as:
>the adventures of gigachad
Why did they adapt the boring one about a military police doing 'procedural gone bad' in America? They should adapt Clancy's cold war kino with a suitably white cast
He's pretty much the spiritual successor of jack bauer, he also used to pull off crazy shit like that
I know what /k/ will say and likely how will Cinemaphile will reply, but maybe Cinemaphile can answer this: What are some operator/spy/detective action fiction like this that don't read like a dumbed-down american James Bond? As in a competent protagonist that doesn't feel like an unbeatable quasi-superhero knocking everyone out with one punch while unbothered by bullets. Preferably not boomercore and above whatever reading level the Reacher series is written for.
Never read them but the John le Carré books are always spoken of very highly
>John le Carré books
Only read Tinker Taylor Solider Spy and that's was less action and more old school espionage.
reminds me of Bond talking about techniques for controlling belligerent women in Goldfinger.
>Not possible, the two go hand in hand.
that's what I was afraid of and what I'd imagine Cinemaphile would tell me. Still holding out hope for some non-schlocky action.
>John Rain
have the first book, but never got past the first dozen pages. Might try again if there really is nothing better.
John le Carré is highly regarded even by actual spies who assumed he was basing his book on real mission they had personally been involved in.
What are the best CQC techniques for tackling Blacks?
I call this one the "I can't breathe".
Black fight back, brown get down, white good night.
>operator/spy/detective action fiction
>not boomercore and above whatever reading level
Not possible, the two go hand in hand.
>a competent protagonist that doesn't feel like an unbeatable quasi-superhero knocking everyone out with one punch while unbothered by bullets
That would be John Rain.
Read greentexts.
What would Jack Reacher have done in this situation?
Probably the same except he would've kicked the black gentlemen's asses. Don't forget that Reacher is also pretty autistic, just very strong and more knowledgeable about bad guys and their tactics.
If you're looking for film/television, the original Bourne trilogy was pretty solid. He's not an unbeatable superhero invulnerable to injury or anything, he's basically a less-shitty MKUltra-type guy who's just had all these skills and trivia drilled into him and then got fricked up on one of his first major assignments and goes AWOL. The later films also have some serious redpills on US rendition and assassination practices.
Burn Notice is a lot of fun if you enjoy camp. It's from that same era that produced Monk and Psyche. Spy gets burned by interagency politics and does A-Team style "helping the little guy" shenanigans while trying to investigate the people who burned him. Also it's got fricking Bruce Campbell at his Bruce Campbellest.
The first film will forever be ruined for me by the hotel room assassination scene where the guy's rifle empties and the foley artist just HAD to add multiple click click click sound effects at the same volume as the gunshots like a metronome set to max speed.
However it's saved by the farm scene with Clive Owen where Jason kills the sniper after a good cat and mouse hunt and realizes he's just killed what is essentially a copy of himself.
>Look at us. Look at what they make you give.
The sound effects in the whole trilogy are awful
No one tell OP about "Blue Moon" by Lee Child....he might plotz.
For me it's Repairman Jack, it's like Reacher but in a supernatural setting
Why does America keep insisting on these James Bond rip-offs? It's embarrassing.
>not a spy
>despises luxury and all things sophisticated
>heterosexual
>solves most problems with overwhelming physical strength
>doesn't take orders from anyone
How is he even remotely close to James Bond, you absolute moron?
>mindbroken American says nonsense about James Bond to make his no-name character seem better
James Bond is to spy/action heroes what Superman is to superheroes.
And Superman isn't the only superhero dummy.
But he's the biggest one and the gold standard. James Bond is the quintessential action/pulp/adventure hero. The gold standard. He has an entire fricking genre of film and fiction that he created.
>James Bond is to spy/action heroes what Superman is to superheroes.
Agreed. morons know nothing else so they have to try and relate everything to him.
Supplanted by more interesting characters?
No. That entire manga/anime is a love letter to James Bond.
>written by an irishman
How would James Bond have handled this
situation?
He'd let himself get captured so he could find their secret lair.
But then he'd be knocked out and they'd take his organs.
He's gotten out of tougher situations.
Yeah, because the bad guys wanted information and he needed to be conscious for that.
>JB wakes up in a tub of ice
>"Ha, nice try but I'll never talk!"
>notices he's alone in a motel bathroom
>notices surgery scars on his abdomen
>notices a note that says "Call an ambulance!" stuck to his chest
>now the British government has to murk some poor civilian to get him a replacement kidney / lung / liver / spleen / balls
Pretry good point actually. Why DON'T they ever cut his dick and balls off while he's out? Do you have any idea how intimidating that would be as an opening move? Like he wakes up and the BEST CASE scenario is he somehow escapes, but remains crippled for life. Would put a real dent in that famous bravado of his.
God, Daniel Craig's James Bond movies were so shit. I watched GoldenEye to rid myself of the taste of that horrible last movie he did and to watch some REAL Bond.
Yeah, I'm sure everyone would love to watch a movie about their witty self insert getting tortured to death for 2 hours. Great idea, anon.
made me chuckle
I do rather like the juxtaposition of Daniel Craigs Bond being all smart and sarcastic having been captured before someone hacks off his nuts and dick with a turkey carver and drops it next to his head
>Sorry Mr Bond, you were saying?
>D-don't worry a-about it
>pukes from sheer pain
>I-I'm sure your g-girlfriend will k-kiss it better
>He barely saves the day, but leaves the audience with a worrying cliffhanger.
>sequel opens with Q presenting him with several top of the line gigawieners to choose from
>Hey this one's almost as nice as the original. ;^)
>whole theater cheers
Sounds incredibly israeli, anon
>You expect me to talk?
>No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die!
>Which is why I went through this whole spiel instead of just quickly slitting your throat when I had the chance.
i only like the reacher stories where he is still in the army. unfortunately it's only 2 or 3 books if i remember correctly. also sometimes you notice the writer is a fricking boomer. the story with the former military operator and osama bin laden was weird.
>is that the usb stick with the picture of the special forces guy and bin laden on it?
>no the usb stick is too small for that picture
what the frick.
>no the usb stick is too small to stored either a rolled up or folded photograph in it
>now if we're talking about the JPEG image compression standard, that's another story
Absolutely what Reacher would say
>Mack Bolan still not posted
i'm disappointed Cinemaphile
question
if he'd frick black women, would he be called bleacher?
>tells one story about getting touched up by a gay photographer in his early years modelling and spends the rest of the year shitting on the people who watch his show as penance.
Embarrassing tbh.
This is just a middle aged man mid life crisis show
True, but that's part of the fun!
How is it fun when the main character is a total badass from the start? No character growth or development he just walks through all the people he’s trying to kill. It’s cliche and boring, it’s like The Punisher.
It's fun because it's popular fiction; that's why. Like Doc Savage. One doesn't reach for Reacher to learn of his weaknesses. Plenty of Oscar bait for that.
The show handles this with the ninja effect, in the first episode Reacher can 1v5 a fight and snap squatamalans in half and halfway through he's getting his ass kicked by a dude with noodle arms who can hold his own because he's the bad guy's son.
Its entertaining to watch strong white men kill people