Sword & Sorcery

What is the greatest sword and sorcery movie ever made Cinemaphile? Outside of Conan of course.

  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Ratatouille

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Fire & Ice. Poster is Franzetta kino too

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The guy with the dagger looks like he has huge tumors

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >WHY ISN'T HE A SOFT DOUGHY SOIBOI!!!??
        Because the appeal of the setting is guys like you died two minutes outside the womb.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        now i know where scavengers reign stole their art style from

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          they stole the art style from moebius.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        If you rotoscope everything, why not just make a movie?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Easier to draw a Castle than build it, this bitch is probably writhing on a cardboard box

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          don't have to worry about sets, locations, costumes, lighting

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous
          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Absolute kino

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Goddamn, that looks awful.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Teegra must have been an awakening for so many young boys.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Where's the one where she crawls into the log?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      > Our hero must save le sexo from hordes of brown monkey-men and this almost white satanic sorcerer with mommy issues.
      Based.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Apparently Frazetta didn't like the poster due to creative constraints by the studio and had a way cooler idea, probably had actual titties in it
      His granddaughter runs a company Frazetta Girls that sells prints and merch related to his paintings, like his absolutely BITCHING Lord of the Rings stuff

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >His granddaughter runs a company Frazetta Girls that sells prints and merch related to his paintings
        Damn, thank anon, this shit look really cool

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Is she going to be alright?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Frazetta Girls
        For all the garbage on this site, occasionally, I learn about something awesome. Thank you anon. If I had psychic powers, I would use them to learn your favorite kind of pizza and order delivery to your home.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Wow Jesus Christ, that Eowyn is divine. Beautiful face, israeliteellery, thighs, bunda...

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        His Granddaughter seems pretty cool.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Dernhelm's got a nice ass

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What a racist piece of shit poster

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You sound insecure. What "race" is it racist towards? Primordial fantasy cavemen?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Kill yourself you worthless tranny gutter-rat homosexual.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Conan is set in the Hyborian age, a mythical age of ancient civilizations that were destroyed in the great flood iirc, and most of the civilizations depicted in the stories are ancestors to and basically copies of later famous civilizations, like a not greece, a not egypt, a not kush(literally called Kush) etc.

      Conan was from an isolated land called Cimmeria that would eventually become Ireland and he's proto Irish. The land is isolated and full of violent tribes and crazy animals and stuff, most of the major civilizations rarely/never interact with Cimmerians so he's considered an oddity wherever he goes. He is kind of a barbarian but the whole point of the stories was that he wasn't dumb or inferior for coming from a savage place and living a savage life, he just had a very different lifestyle and way of thinking. He put on a tough guy front but he was actually very intelligent, well read, and philosophically minded, he even listened to poets and thinkers debate in his spare time for entertainment.

      At least thats what the original Robert E Howard stories were, once he died and other people got the rights Conan did just became a big retarded savage because they didn't understand the point of the originals.

      LOL this nigga can't draw feet!
      Why tho? it isn't that hard
      CAPTCHA: KYSYM
      come on, it was just a simple question

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yes he could, twerp. He was a classically trained painter who could draw the human figure (from all angles) in his sleep.

        He was famous for procrastinating though, and blasting through his commissions in the last night of the deadline. Which gave him that dynamic later style where he didn't sweat the peripheral details or over-work the piece.

        He wasn't some IMAGE pouch-guy idiot and he wasn't some dumb monkey who thinks value comes from autistic detailing of minor elements.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >and blasting through his commissions in the last night of the deadline
          Holy shit he's literally me

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I wish this had a sequel or just something in that general style

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Apparently Frazetta didn't like the poster due to creative constraints by the studio and had a way cooler idea, probably had actual titties in it
      His granddaughter runs a company Frazetta Girls that sells prints and merch related to his paintings, like his absolutely BITCHING Lord of the Rings stuff

      >Frazetta
      this ain't fantasy related but it's commercial fine art related and I had nowhere else to share it
      the dude that did all the Santa Claus artwork for Coca Cola did one final painting before retiring in the 70s, which was commissioned as a pin-up cover for the Christmas 1972 issue of Playboy
      he painted a nude playboy model wearing the Cola Santa's coat

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      > Our hero must save le sexo from hordes of brown monkey-men and this almost white satanic sorcerer with mommy issues.
      Based.

      This is definitely in the top 5.

      Most people miss that Nekron is Darkwulf's son by Julianna. Which is why he's the only person able to kill him. The blond kid is DW's adoptive son by archetype, who is able to mark Nekron in an unbalanced fight through a clever feint, thus proving his adoptive father-figure's faith and earning his high-born waifu's favor through his own bravery and cunning and also the stoic approval of a powerful old-school Mega-Chad.

      If you read or listen to any Robert E Howard stuff, it's almost entirely in the hands of witches and sorcerers to be the prime movers of plot. And witches are all about accruing power through bearing the children of powerful men, then claiming either their kingdoms or gaining control of their genetic legacy. Even the Conan movie has a cut scene where a witch attempts this on Conan and he throws her into a fire. Even Excalibur uses it with Morgana attempting to usurp Arthur's authority via Morded.

      Before current year anti-natalism, everything was about bloodlines and legacy. It's framed as sexism etc, but unattached modern women have only re-enforced the archetype of the creepy sexual schemer attempting to lock down Chad's seed for the social buff it gives.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'm watching it right now it's really good anon, thanks. The animation is impressively good

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Just finished it, was really impressed. How did animation look so good back then but today it's not that great?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Rotoscoping, the same thing Bakshi did on the first LotR cartoon. Seeing animation move naturally like that can be very unnerving but has its own charm.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The entire time I was watching Fire & Ice I couldn't stop looking at Teegra's arse

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Somebody posting these webms is the sole reason I watched it. Pretty decent film on top of that too.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Imagine being the person who had to animate that. He'd probably only get 20 minutes work done on any single day.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      F&I is available on YouTube for free too. I think the link was posted in the last S&S thread, if anybody else got it from there.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I didn't get into fantasy until my 20s because of aesthetics like this. Why did everyone in the 70s/80s like these swimsuit bimbos and ripped men with horse faces? Honestly, this looks like 90% of furry porn, just buff animal-headed meat monsters buttfucking each other.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        > Zoomer wants women that look like 10 years old

        Many such cases

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yes. Except I'm not a zoomer.

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This looks like porn
    Also Excalibur
    /thread

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Just old video game ad art

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        booba

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        She's so hot bros

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It's another 80s Page 3 Girl, Maria Whittaker. Dunno who the guy is.

        >late 80s booba

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Pretty good game, Way of the Exploding Fist/International Karate but with swords. Introduced the decapitation "finishing move" before Mortal Combat. If you managed it a little goblin walked on and kicked the head and dragged the body off the screen.

        Linda Lusardi and Wolf from Gladiators. The 80s were mad.

        Maria Whittaker. Take it from a veteran pervert.
        Remarkably she is married to Rebel MC.

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Krull

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I LITERALLY attended the Hollywood red carpet premiere of The Avengers and thought "I'd rather be at home watching Krull". Yeah, I was pretty burned out on the grind by then.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        KRULL!

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    check out the hooters on that broad

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Maria Whittaker was God tier. Married a nog though

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >horror anthology tv show
    >scifi anthology tv show
    >animated anthology tv show
    >no sword & sorcery anthology tv show
    What the FUCK
    The genre is perfect for the format and with how big fantasy is right now you'd think studios would be all over it. It's fucking bullshit fuck hollywood stupid retards

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      S&S might be hard to do profitably in the 2020s film industry. Audiences wouldn't accept the dirt cheap special effects that the 80s movies were known for, but middle-budget fantasy movies from original or unknown IPs don't do so great these days. Also Hollywood would want to sanitize it; they are obsessed with making all fantasy family-friendly even in movies that desperately need a bit of edge. A S&S movie or show doesn't strictly need to have the same level of violence and nudity as Spartacus, but it does need to have the option to include that sort of content when it's appropriate for a particular movie.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        One of the defining features of S&S over high fantasy is how little 'fantasy' there is in it. You have wizards casting spells, but that's it. Otherwise it's all muscles and axes and blood. Remove the scenes with spellcasting and they can often pass for a standard mediaeval setting. This means there's very little need for special effects, and what is needed can be done with practical effects.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Nah, there almost always must be some kind of giant evil monster at the end, which was the weakest point of many of those movies back then - the tech just wasn't there yet.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            No, that role can just as easily be filled by a powerful warlock. It's been a LONG time but I don't remember Conan having any magical beasts at all, besides some ghosts.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >no sword & sorcery anthology tv show
      what was Xena? or Hercules? or the D&D cartoon?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        or the Conan cartoon

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          and Blackstar and Thundarr the Barbarian

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        or the Conan cartoon

        and Blackstar and Thundarr the Barbarian

        >what was Xena? or Hercules? or the D&D cartoon?
        Not an ANTHOLOGY you dumb fuck. Good shows, but OP was right. And all of you plebbit tier ass clowns rush to "muh whataboutism" without grasping the very basic premise of what was fucking said.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        D&D Cartoon was a high fantasy isekai not really sword & sorcery, they also ran a lot more than they fought.

        checked
        [...]
        Not painted by or designed by Howard. Thats just a bad interpretation to be honest, he's supposed to be very tan and disheveled
        [...]
        Thats more accurate.

        Honestly, even though absurd Schwarzenegger type builds weren't exactly common in fiction back then its pretty reasonable to imagine him that way, he's meant to be so ridiculous buff and broad that anyone can immediately tell even when hes wearing heavy clothing and people constantly feel fascinated or uneased around him like hes some sort of circus animal

        2011 Conan unironically is the better of the two official Conan movies.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Forgot pic related.

          It's crazy how there was this huge fad for fantasy movies that came out of nowhere in 1982 and then just disappeared into the aether by 1985

          D&D and Tolkien explain that bit honestly.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >they also ran a lot more than they fought
          Just like 1E...

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            D&D is more Vancian than Sword & Sorcery solely and more high powered in terms of fantastical elements.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      S&S might be hard to do profitably in the 2020s film industry. Audiences wouldn't accept the dirt cheap special effects that the 80s movies were known for, but middle-budget fantasy movies from original or unknown IPs don't do so great these days. Also Hollywood would want to sanitize it; they are obsessed with making all fantasy family-friendly even in movies that desperately need a bit of edge. A S&S movie or show doesn't strictly need to have the same level of violence and nudity as Spartacus, but it does need to have the option to include that sort of content when it's appropriate for a particular movie.

      I strongly disagree, I think with a mix of animation/AI and shit, something akin to Xena with a strong visual style would really work.
      Think Sin City/Scanner Darkly/live action mix. Shouldn't be too hard to pull off with a good script/cast. Go heavy on the green-screen and don't try to make it "realistic".
      There's still the D&D series coming, but I don't hold much hope.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        S&S might be hard to do profitably in the 2020s film industry. Audiences wouldn't accept the dirt cheap special effects that the 80s movies were known for, but middle-budget fantasy movies from original or unknown IPs don't do so great these days. Also Hollywood would want to sanitize it; they are obsessed with making all fantasy family-friendly even in movies that desperately need a bit of edge. A S&S movie or show doesn't strictly need to have the same level of violence and nudity as Spartacus, but it does need to have the option to include that sort of content when it's appropriate for a particular movie.

        >horror anthology tv show
        >scifi anthology tv show
        >animated anthology tv show
        >no sword & sorcery anthology tv show
        What the FUCK
        The genre is perfect for the format and with how big fantasy is right now you'd think studios would be all over it. It's fucking bullshit fuck hollywood stupid retards

        I think it could be done quite well. S&S doesn't need as high a budget as the epic fantasy type movies and shows they make today since the adventures are smaller and can even be contained to one location. An anthology of 8 60-70 minute episodes would actually be pretty cool.

        >no sword & sorcery anthology tv show
        what was Xena? or Hercules? or the D&D cartoon?

        Not really what he's so eloquently talking about I think but still worth noting

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Not just sword and sorcery, midbudget adaptations of classic paperback fantasy.

      It's criminal we've never had a movie/tv version of Magic Kingdom for Sale - SOLD!

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      yeah I've wanted this forever, I remember when GoT dropped and I thought there was a chance cause I didn't know how unmagical it was, then there was the warcraft movie which was OK but obviously came too late to have a bunch of sequels, LotR isn't fantastical enough either

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Conan(obviously) > Excalibur > Beastmaster > POWER GAP > Dragonslayer > Ladyhawk > Krull > the rest

    Probably missing a few decent ones but a good portion of S&S are straight to VHS schlock which can still be fun.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Wanted to add

      Fire & Ice. Poster is Franzetta kino too

      Can't believe I forgot Fire & Ice. Also Clash of the Titans is top tier.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I’d swap Dragonslayer and Beastmaster

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Me too.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >ladyhawk > krull
      fuck off

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Ladyhawk
      Make way for the superior Rutger Hauer fantasy film.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That's not fantasy.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Ty bro

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >a good portion of S&S are straight to VHS schlock which can still be fun
      For me, that's The Warrior and the Sorceress. So many S&S just feel like Conan knock-offs that just want to be a little bit sexier or a little bit hammier. The Warrior and the Sorceress does its own thing completely, not necessarily for the better but enough that it feels fresh after my deep dive into the barrel of S&S. But it's also a movie that's hard to recommend because it's schlock.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Bit of trivia: the guy who wrote the first draft of the script is embarrassed to have his name attached to the movie because of how the director rewrote his script to be a beat for beat copy of Yojimbo. A Fistful of Dollars did the same thing and nobody cares, so I think he's overreacting, but it's disappointing that we didn't get the original script was supposedly much crazier.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I wish you didn't tell me this, because now I wish to see that too.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >The Warrior and the Sorceress
        I just watched it a few weeks ago and while I applaud the attempt at doing something different with the S&S genre, it simply fell flat. Carradine seemed bored out of his mind, and so was I. Having seen Deathstalker 2 just before it I was really expecting more.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Whoa there, toyboi. A power gap between those and Dragonslayer? Lad, Dragonslayer is the best movie after Conan. Sit your ass down.

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Linda Lusardi and Wolf from Gladiators. The 80s were mad.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's another 80s Page 3 Girl, Maria Whittaker. Dunno who the guy is.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Dunno who the guy is.
        Michael Van Wijk, aka Wolf from Gladiators.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >it's a Wolf gets a telling off from referee John Anderson episode
          KINOOOOO

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I didn't know Ronnie James Dio was on Gladiators.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >that buldge

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That's Richard Lewis, who invented the phrase "the x from hell"

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What is the historical inspiration for Conan? His style doesn't actually seem barbarian.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Everything. REH created the hyborian age as a mishmash of all sorts of ancient cultures so he could have varieties of every flavor of barbarian. Conan specifically is proto-Celt. The barbarian title refers to Howard's themes of barbarism vs civilization and doesn't mean Conan is supposed to be the now archetypical loincloth-wearing berserker all the time.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Conan is set in the Hyborian age, a mythical age of ancient civilizations that were destroyed in the great flood iirc, and most of the civilizations depicted in the stories are ancestors to and basically copies of later famous civilizations, like a not greece, a not egypt, a not kush(literally called Kush) etc.

      Conan was from an isolated land called Cimmeria that would eventually become Ireland and he's proto Irish. The land is isolated and full of violent tribes and crazy animals and stuff, most of the major civilizations rarely/never interact with Cimmerians so he's considered an oddity wherever he goes. He is kind of a barbarian but the whole point of the stories was that he wasn't dumb or inferior for coming from a savage place and living a savage life, he just had a very different lifestyle and way of thinking. He put on a tough guy front but he was actually very intelligent, well read, and philosophically minded, he even listened to poets and thinkers debate in his spare time for entertainment.

      At least thats what the original Robert E Howard stories were, once he died and other people got the rights Conan did just became a big retarded savage because they didn't understand the point of the originals.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        check'd

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        checked

        this is how Conan looked like in the 1940s

        Not painted by or designed by Howard. Thats just a bad interpretation to be honest, he's supposed to be very tan and disheveled

        this is 1934

        Thats more accurate.

        Honestly, even though absurd Schwarzenegger type builds weren't exactly common in fiction back then its pretty reasonable to imagine him that way, he's meant to be so ridiculous buff and broad that anyone can immediately tell even when hes wearing heavy clothing and people constantly feel fascinated or uneased around him like hes some sort of circus animal

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        quads of steel

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        cimmerians actually existed though somewhere in the north of caucasus mountains and have nothing to do with ireland. they were nomadic people.
        they raided southern caucasus a lot too.
        there is even georgian word for "hero" - გმირი (gmiri) which obviosuly comes from "cimmer".

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah, thats just where he got the word from though. He also mentions picts but they're weird native american tribal types, and theres a couple other situations like that. Cimmeria was definitely Ireland, it has irish traits, Conan is an irish name, and howard himself said so

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        > the QUADS of STEEL
        I kneel

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        such a kino setting

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What you wrote isn't really in Howard's books, though.
        Conan is more about primal savagery. He's a man that didn't grow up knowing the luxuries of living in a walled city and eating prepared meals. He was a man whose senses were prepared through years of saving his life from beasts in the dark every day, a life of danger and combat. I can't think of a single story right now where he ever needed to put on an 'act'. He was confrontational, coarse, easily-baited, easily seduced, and absolutely refused to step down from a fight. He was completely uncivilized, at odds with a world that was becoming civilized, and winning.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      this is how Conan looked like in the 1940s

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        this is 1934

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Basically everything from bronze age Egypt to Renaissance Italy but everybody has medieval technology and steel weapons and tools aside from the Picts that are like the plains indians.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Hyperborea/Thule

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >What is the historical inspiration for Conan?
      History. It's remarkable how much of the worldbuilding is actually just our real history, imagined one step further back in time. REH himself also established his setting this way, with essentially his first work just being a bland history book of how his ancient races turned into our familiar races over time, giving a seamless flow of history and culture that he can use to project retroactively.

      >doesn't actually seem barbarian.
      To REH, "barbarian" is just "uncivilized," as in "outside of civilization". So with the great marble cities of Aquillonia and gleaming Stygia being "civilization," then the mountainous tribes of cimmerians and nomadic hyrkanians are then barbaric, because they aren't members of a civilization. That doesn't make the unga-bunga rage machines of D&D barbarians, nor unwashed savages as the word is commonly used for. It is essentially the same way that historic China used the word "barbarian," which meant "anyone not part of China." Even as China acknowledged that Great Britain was a powerful nation with strong culture, their letters were to Britain's "Barbarian Queen." The term wasn't meant to be insult, just a status. That is similar to REH's use of the word.

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Is that fucking Wolf from British Gladiators?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Jet has just recently married another (older) woman.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Imagine getting powerbottomed by her

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Imagine getting powerbottomed by her

      I remember when she was the 'Gamesmistress' on Games World and wore leather dresses to give out cheats and tips. Good times.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        happy days indeed

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I miss when nerd shit was all coom bait male fantasy.

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Watched Conquest last night. Was ok. I liked the dream quality it had and the naked woman.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Looks like Simon in that poster

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        True

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      nice, it's the wall to wall beastmen fighting that gets me

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I love this movie but I don't think anyone on Cinemaphile feels the love for it that I do.

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Sorceress (1982) is pants-on-head retarded and has lots and lots of tiddies. Highly recommend.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Mentally linked twins. One masturbates while the other gets fucked miles away...

  15. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I started taking finasteride as soon as I learned this dude played Eddington

  16. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Maria Whittaker is 18 years old on that cover. Nice pair of boobs.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Ah yes, the good old days of Page 3, when 16 year olds could get their tits out in a national newspaper.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        yes

  17. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >No Red Sonja

    You had one job, Cinemaphile

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah the old Red Sonja is a fun movie. Cheesy, some bad acting, whatever... but some pretty OK costumes, set designs, etc. Fun scenery. Swords and magic and shit. Good music honestly. Not "Conan" good but it's by Ennio Morricone.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >You had one job, Cinemaphile

  18. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I love her so much bros

  19. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The Head Hunter

  20. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    ZX Spectrum 128k+2

  21. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Maria Whitaker is an underrated pinup model.

  22. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I bet his boner lasted for weeks.

  23. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Beautiful movie.
      Ruined by theatrical overacting.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Ruined
        More like enhanced.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          To each their own.
          It takes me out of it, something I don't like when trying to enjoy a story.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Is it just me or this movie looks like it's AI generated?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yes, because excalibur is one of a bunch of those sort of "dark fantasy" films of the late 70s and 80s that the AI parses from. Especially the "dark souls as an 80s dark fantasy" generations. I did a deep dive on this because I wanted to watch what it was "taking inspiration" from

  24. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This is an old image, the list is much longer here. I gave up on the edits of the Hobbit. I hate watching it as three movies, but for some reason all the edits are in like 240p, so I caved and swapped it with 2160 versions of the three films even though I think they're bloated and awful and ruin what was a wonderful book.

    Every time this list is posted some *genius* goes
    >LOL he put Star Wars on there! hahaha STAR WARS! That's not fantasy homosexual!

    The Force is literally magic. They fight with energy swords made of light. It contains both swords and sorcery. Fantasy can contain futuristic technology, robots and space travel. Plenty of the good ones do.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      star wars is space fantasy so idk what theyre on about. theres no science in the series so it isn't science fiction

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Having two movies of the same franchise on the same list is pretty mid

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You really don't need to defend Star Wars being fantasy. Do yourself a favor and stop rushing to defend problems you've invented yourself. And if someone gives you shit, ignore them.

      Having two movies of the same franchise on the same list is pretty mid

      It's a Plex library so it's probably just sorted by genre.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >ghibli shit
      you can fuck off too

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      star wars is space fantasy so idk what theyre on about. theres no science in the series so it isn't science fiction

      Science fantasy and science fiction used to be considered the same thing.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It was called Speculative Fiction in those days.

  25. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Sure was nice when men could make nice things for a medium catering to men, without fat-ass xirs and ham planets being shoehorned in to poison the well by israelites in suits

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      did you see that new trailer for the movie with Eisenberg and Brody? it’s supposed to be like “incel white man falls prey to evil far right extremism group for white men,” and the whole first half of the trailer is just him expressing feelings and getting comradery, set to forboding music. It’s already saying how terrible it is before it even shows anything incriminating.
      any level of male comradery or support is automatically evil now. it makes me think of that buzzword, “centering” which is basically used to say it’s evil to have any focus or relatability given to white males. really creepy shit.

      ?si=M3p9EqFL5aaGh_81

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Imagine being such a loser homosexual that you can't even handle being alone and seek companionship with a bunch of other loser homosexuals. Men who can't handle being alone are women and women are useless. Truly pathetic and disgusting.

  26. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  27. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I miss hair like this

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        So floofy.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You gotta settle for plastered down black girl hair & like it

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Of all the hairstyles work by blacks that's the most retarded. Bring back Afros.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Those little plastered down curls at the front they use to cover their bald hairline is absolutely stupid.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              it's thoroughly disgusting

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                lel

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Who balds worse, white guys or black girls?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Black chicks do it to themselves by wearing tight ponytails/cornrows all the time. It's called 'traction alopecia'.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I don't

  28. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Thread Theme

  29. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Anyone collect these? Great art on them

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What are these

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Hyborian Gates. Packs are pretty cheap on eBay

  30. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I had never heard of Frazetta but recognized the art and now I'm going down a cool rabbit hole. hell yeah Thanks, Cinemaphile

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Ral Partha, Boris Vallejo. There's a glut of good classic artists in the style if you search

  31. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I long for a properly cast & directed Tower of the Elephant.

    Barbarians is a movie I don't see a lot of people mention, it stars two doofy body builder twins who save their mom from a harem, kill some monsters, & save the gypsies.

  32. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Not the greatest obviously, in fact it's pretty cheap and bad, but I find it pretty entertaining nonetheless.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I long for a properly cast & directed Tower of the Elephant.

      Barbarians is a movie I don't see a lot of people mention, it stars two doofy body builder twins who save their mom from a harem, kill some monsters, & save the gypsies.

      Based

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This movie is fucking stupid.
      The actors are shit.
      Story and continuity is retarded.
      The creature effects are laughable.
      I enjoyed it.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It's no Hawk the Slayer, but the great Jack Palance can't be everywhere.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Hawk the Slayer is not a great movie. It takes itself far too seriously, has a cliched story and a scenery-chewing villain. But I love it so much, the characters are typical D&D cutouts but likeable and it doesn't outstay its welcome. The 80s synth soundtrack and cheap effects are so endearing.
          Additionally an official comic-book sequel was published earlier this year so I'm very happy more people are getting exposed to it.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >but the great Jack Palance can't be everywhere.
          That's where Richard Lynch comes in (RIP)

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Two stupid roidheads fuck shit up
      Quintessential Cinemaphile kino

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The part where they are holding the dog creature's head and barking at each other had me laughing my ass off

  33. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I asked last time, I'll ask again.
    Any Swotd & Sorcery (or close enough) films where the main character is a wizard, as opposed to a sword/muscles guy?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      maybe you should stop being a nerd and start lifting.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      If they ever did a decent adaptation of A Wizard of Earthsea.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Dragonslayer.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >main character is a wizard
      >as opposed to a muscles guy
      just lift and do both you homosexual

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        this game has the most impressive music I've ever heard on the NES

        this is just the title screen

        give it 10 seconds

        ?si=S_TnTeHzOMhOmZAL

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          sounds like some sweet fantasy metal. for me, it's...

          ?si=bfYtSi5fU8emt6OL

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I'm old enough to remember those stupidly long passwords on that game

            Compile also made one of the most underrated SNES games that happens to have a good 90s dance/club type soundtrack as well

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >whole gaming state saved in a string of numbers and letters
              Couldn't do that these days.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      no they always have sex

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's a show, but Merlin (2008) centers on young Merlin.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Seriously

      Dragonslayer.

      Got it right. Dragonslayer is literally a wizard and NOT a muscle/sword guy. Try it, it's awesome with the GREATEST dragon design ever filmed.

      VERMITHRAX PEJORATIVE

    • 3 weeks ago
      Sage

      For some reason The Last Unicorn comes to mind. I thinks the sense of traveling a strange where anything can happen, and dealing with ancient monsters unknowable by man.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      One of my favorite S&S flick centers around a computer programmer who is kidnapped and challenged to a duel by a warlock who mistakes technology for sorcery. Not quite a wizard, but a tech wizard and he's not the buff barbarian archetype character.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Thanks!

  34. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The sorceress was camp kino.

  35. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    No love for Sinbad, or the Argonauts/Clash of the Titans? They shit all over "The Barbarians".

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That's all technically Sword & Sandals

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      MUCH love for those. Clash is one of my top 4k wants, the old blu ray looks like ass. I enjoy the older Harryhausen films too. But Barbarians exist for when I'm in the mood for fun cheese. Honestly, these threads get redundant because there just isn't enough Sword & Sandal flicks. I wish there had been more made in the 80's.

  36. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    No love for "spaghetti" swords and sorcery?

    Ironmaster, Throne of Fire, Gunan - King of the Barbarians (yes, really), Attila, The Ator trilogy, the list goes on.

    This is the reality of renting VHSs btw.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Asia of course has an even longer list of Sword and Sorcery flicks.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I know this translates as "the throne of flame" but it amused me that for a second I read it as "the flaming tranny."

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >No love for "spaghetti" swords and sorcery?
      No, not really. Most Italian films seem to be just money laundering schemes where most of the film's budget goes to cocaine. Some are decent to ok, but the majority are just boring slogs to sit through.

  37. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >still no Imaro movie
    You'd think a black African Conan would get a movie pronto

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Because it's set in not-africa and the societies are all tribal bronze agers. Not nearly woke enough, because there's no wakanda tech or white women to fawn over the capital B Black lead.

  38. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Personally i like Dragonheart the most. It´s a bit on the naive side but Sean Connery made for a great dragon. It was my personal favorite until LOTR came along. Chris Lambert 1999 Beowulf was neat too. Layla Roberts as Grendel´s mother just made me diamonds.

    I haven´t seen Ladyhawk nor The warrior and the sorcerer yet but i doubt those could top Legend or Excalibur anyways. I wish the genre had not died out...

  39. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    this part of the original Power Rangers movie

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Early boner material for sure.

  40. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  41. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  42. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    why did they stop making high fantasy movies?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Because feminism became more mainstream and masculinity was seen as evil.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No, that was Chuds. Chuds are evil (in a pathetic way), masculinity is fine.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Shut up homosexual tranny, no one was talking to you.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah, because Dungeons and Dragons, Everything Everywhere All at Once and Fantastic Beasts were all what? 20 years ago?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >what do you mean they don't make high fantasy anymore? what about one dogshit high fantasy film and these other two films that aren't even in that genre?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          All three of those are high fantasy tho. You don't need a guy in a fake beard and robes to be High Fantasy. You might be able to make an argument against EEAAO, but Harry Potter and D&D? And there's never a year with a whole pile of high fantasy flicks, however much you whine about how it's not like the past.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >High fantasy is set in an alternative, fictional ("secondary") world, rather than the "real" or "primary" world.[2] This secondary world is usually internally consistent, but its rules differ from those of the primary world. By contrast, low fantasy is characterized by being set on Earth, the primary or real world, or a rational and familiar fictional world with the inclusion of magical elements

            words mean things

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >Wiki tells me only Lord of the Rings is High Fantasy!
              Fuck off, Harry Potter has kids going to a school reached through a magical train, and and has children who can time-travel for shapechange as a matter of convenience. It's higher Fantasy than most of the shit listed in this thread.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I'm not sure if you're trolling or genuinely retarded

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I have zero doubts about your retardation however.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                definitions aren't what you want them to be you fucking retard.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Wikipedia is not the Word of God.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >The basic defining tenet of high fantasy is that a fantasy story is set in an alternative fictional world, typically with magical elements. High fantasy is sometimes called epic fantasy, and some of the hallmarks of this subset of the fantasy genre include a high page count, lots of characters, usually a quest, and, most importantly, an alternative or secondary world as opposed to the real or primary world. With high fantasy, there are usual global stakes involved—you know, good versus evil, saving the world, and all that.

                ok

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >and some of the hallmarks of this subset of the fantasy genre include a high page count
                I stopped reading there, we are discussing movies, and "page count" is a pant-on-head retarded definition of a genre.

                Is your Ma aware you are being a pedant on the computer again?

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                glad to see strawmanning is alive and well in 2023

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >we are discussing movies
                >but I don't get it, why call this type of film named giallos? it means yellow in Italian even though they are not just yellow
                you're just a fucking retarted homosexual

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >AUTISM has entered the chat
                Sperg harder, nuggie boy

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Fantastic Beasts
        wait what ? harry potter is sword and sorcery now ?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          He said "High Fantasy", not swords and sorcery.
          If you want to refine it down to that, add Northman and Dragonheart movies from the last few years.

          Sword and Sorcery was never a prolific genre, half the shit mentioned in this thread is low budget schlock. I could probably add another 20 from the last 10 years if I started listing schlock or low tier animation like Fire and Ice.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >harry potter
            >High Fantasy

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >plebbit tier shit films
        fuck off.

  43. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Deathstalker II

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Are the other 2 just as good?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Are the other 2 just as good?

      If I recall correctly, Deathstalker I was a somewhat serious fantasy film with nudity, whereas Deathstalker II was straight soft core porn with a self-aware tone that was borderline comedy

  44. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Compared to your posts, I look like Christopher Motherfucking Langan , mate.

  45. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    By your stupid definition, The Martian is High Fantasy and a movie full of Wizards fighting basilisks and giants is not.

  46. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      how is she so attractive

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        qt.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          On that day a young boy awakened to a fetish.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >this kid knew what he was doing when he volunteered to be the footstool

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            That is not a boy but a man in training.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I think my puberty began when I happened to see Golden Voyage of Sinbad on TV one day when I was flipping channels in the middle of the day, and she walked into the scene.

  47. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The Spine of Night (2021) is pretty kino

  48. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Greatest tits I have ever seen in my life. Damn, the 80s were peak female aesthetic. That floofy hair, tan, and hoop earrings. I bet they had to tape that dude's boner down so it didn't rip the loincloth off.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The 80s was the last great era of western civilisation. The last time where we looked towards the future and fought to improve ourselves, rather than wallow in self-loathing over past transgressions.

  49. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I remember loving this as a kid even though I always thought the shooting sword was weird as fuck.

    I haven't seen it ages but looking up pictures the aesthetics are still awesome.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      yo the triple sword

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Middle character red demon was Richard Moll who died in the past week. I watched this in his honor.

  50. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous
  51. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This any good?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I wouldn't be a man if I said I wouldnt sit down and watch this movie

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No, but its got plenty of rape and titties so if that sounds appealing you'll find it entertaining.

  52. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        We will never see new material like this again. It's sad.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Sadly. But pic is her 4 years ago!

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I still would.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Incredible genetics at work there.

              Maybe someone should do some fantasy pics with her? Maybe Conan-esque queen or witch?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Incredible genetics at work there.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            She could pull it of like the Mortal Kombat Sonja actress?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            She looks better than a lot of women in their early 30s.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              She looks better than most milf porn actress!

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            She could pull it of like the Mortal Kombat Sonja actress?

            She looks better than most milf porn actress!

            it would be like throwing a sausage down a train tunnel
            >still would though

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              How do you know that? My knowledge says nude model, no porn. This means mileage should be low.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous
  53. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    A Dog with a Pussy Tattooed on Its Forehead

  54. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The Barbarians

    It is a movie akin to two jocks playing D&D with their nerdy friend and going all-in

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I watched this a couple days ago. Surprisingly fun. Lots of focus on midriffs with that belly gem too.

  55. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Feherlofia may or may not fall into Sword & Sorcery, it is worth at least one watch though

  56. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I made my family watch Beastmaster with me this week after I hadn't seen it in about 35 years.
    It certainly aged. Not as well as Conan, but better than many other Sword and Sorcery films.

  57. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Chariot of Carnage

  58. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    willow

  59. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Are any of the Conan games good? Any similar recommendations?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Any similar recommendations?
      Runescape

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Might and Magic 6 7 and 8 with the GrayFace patches.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      the MMO is supposedly good but it's an MMO so yeah. I played The Dark Axe and it was pretty faithful and in the spirit of true Conan. I enjoyed it. everything else is pretty garbage but I haven't really looked into the 2D Conan games.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Golden Axe. It even uses sounds from the Conan film.

  60. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If you're into mst3k, there is a rifftrax episode of The Sword and the Sorcerer on amazon prime rn. Its pretty funny.

  61. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's crazy how there was this huge fad for fantasy movies that came out of nowhere in 1982 and then just disappeared into the aether by 1985

  62. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What Sword and Sorcery movie has the girls in the lewdest costumes ever?
    Hard mode:
    >They have big tits and ass
    >They don't get naked but are wearing scantily dressed clothing the entire time

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The Warrior and the sorceress. It stars David Carradine and has features a woman with 4 tits.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Wasn't there some actress who actually had three tits and would be cast in movies as an alien or whatever just so they could show her three tits?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Sorceress
        I remember settling in to watch this expecting high action and it being just an excuse for the director to show tits.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          High titty bouncing action am I right?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Was that the one mentioned in the previous sword and sorcery thread here, with two main female characters being identical twins who go topless?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Yes, they do it a lot. It's great.

  63. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Didn't really enjoy this. The plot is barely there and moves incredibly slowly. The lack of dialogue throughout the entire film doesn't do it any favors as it attempts to be mysterious and brooding but really is just dull. Might've been enjoyable and interesting as a short film

  64. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >movie features a scene of the bad guy falling down a cliff
    >can't put my finger on why but the way he falls feels odd somehow
    >dedication in the credits
    >get a weird hunch and look him up
    >turns out the stuntman in that scene missed his airbags and died
    Huh.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      holy fuck that's pretty dank, did they keep the on screen death?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Obviously they don't show him hit the ground but yeah.

        Now that I look at it again it's pretty clear why I instantly felt like it wasn't a regular movie fall, what with the flailing limbs and all. Poor dude.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          > Bruh moment.

  65. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    80s Sword and Sorcery movies are the best because no matter how ludicrous the story the actors seem to be so committed to their role, which kinda elevates even the schlockiest film.

  66. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >2011 Conan unironically is the better of the two official Conan movies.
    not sure if baiting or cumguzzling drag queen

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      As far as representing the fictional aspects of Conan from the short stories its the better of the two, now go rope lol even the actor is more accurate to how Conan should look like.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous
        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          > “Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the israeliteeled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet.

          You don't know shit.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            The biggest tragedy is that Arnie didn't play Conan the King when he was old enough.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            and you dont know the touch of a woman

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            No one cares to participate in your non-White worship. Conan is White, afraid so.

  67. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    a young christian bale gets isekai'd

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      wait what
      never realised that's Christian Bale

  68. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Conan.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Never heard of it. Any good?

  69. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Beastmaster is pretty good.
    Master of the Universe (Dolf Lungren)
    Krull is excellent except for the Vigo the Magnificent character, but I think hating him makes you like everyone else more.
    Excalibur
    Highlander (does this count???)
    I'm watching the Gor series on Amazon Prime it's OK.
    John Carter of Mars (I think most people hate it, but it has some decent elements)

    Maybe even Dune and Flash Gordon have elements of sword and sorcery.

  70. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why does sword & sorcery work so well?

    Is it the exotic women?
    Is it the glistening muscles?
    Is it the malicious magic?
    Is it the grit and groundedness?
    Is it the sand and deserts?
    What is it?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Third and fourth for me. I hate superpowers and I like when the hero is mundane (if exceptional) and the magic is ritualistic and about prep/influence. Real sorcerers work more like Bond villains, summoning minions and sending them after you, making deals with unsavoury gods, etc.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's a primal male power fantasy. Which is why there's so little of it now. It's very problematic, you see, and is no longer appropriate for modern sensibilities. You may think I'm joking, but this here is exactly what I'm talking about:

      I didn't get into fantasy until my 20s because of aesthetics like this. Why did everyone in the 70s/80s like these swimsuit bimbos and ripped men with horse faces? Honestly, this looks like 90% of furry porn, just buff animal-headed meat monsters buttfucking each other.

      See now I don't really know what this dude's problem is, but apparently he does not want to feel powerful and obtain beautiful women. That is where we now are as a society. And if that's a roastie, well then there it is.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Babes, strong men, unicorns and dragons. Something for everyone!

  71. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  72. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Willow 1988 obv not a titty film but it think its worth a watch.

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