>that still only counts as one

>that still only counts as one
Why wasn't this considered marvel/reddit tier humor?

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  1. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    because it predates both of those concepts within mainstream media. it is a quip and part of what makes Towers and Return lesser films to Fellowship

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Fellowship had some quips. Remember
      >they have a cave troll
      ?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        That wasn't a quip

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          you might want to get yourself diagnosed anon. you might have autism.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Anyways, you need people of intelligence on this sort of... mission... quest... thing.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            there's a difference between humour (good or ill) from a lesser intelligent character, and quipping. jar jar was a full blown moron but didn't quip.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        they literally had a cave troll and Boromir was letting everyone know that because he recognized the sound, are you fricking moronic

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        The only quip that's somewhat out of place is "never toss a dwarf" when they're running away from a literal demon from hell

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Fellowship really is leagues above the other two.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Correct and correct. It's obvious Jackson poured all his creative ability into FOTR and was running on fumes after that. It's actually shocking to see on rewatch when you don't have to wait a year between movies.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        The other two are still very good movies, but Fellowship is just heads and shoulders above the other two

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >posts image from ROTK

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >It's obvious Jackson poured all his creative ability into FOTR and was running on fumes after that.
        you know all the movies were shot at the same right, like they were shooting return of the king stuff back in 1999. i'm all for dunkin on jackson but it should be beyond obvious that fellowship was the easiest film to make and hence why it's the best movie. it only concerns itself with one coherent story while the other films are a bit of a mess regarding pacing/juggling very thematically different storylines

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      We called it 'Whedonesque' back then. Similar to, but still distinct from, 'Buffyspeak'

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        My son called it Gilmore Girl-esque. I called it Howard Hawk-esque.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      because you never read the books.

  2. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    LORD OF THE QUIPS

  3. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Marvel quips undercut serious moments with throwaway joke likes and kill all tension and tone. That quip was used to punctuate an over the top absurd action moment not something actually serious.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >massive war to determine the fate of middle-earth
      >not serious
      lotrtards are now going into full COPE mode

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Legolas takes down an Olifant and its 20 riders on his own
        >Not over the top
        capeshit brainrot

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        You think soldiers are ultra serious at all times? MASH is based on the book by an actual Korean War vet. There's plenty of accounts joking to dehumanize the enemy.
        You make light or go crazy in some way.

  4. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    hackson really fricked gimli’s character in these movies

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Hackson was uncomfortable with making a straight fantasy epic and not winking at the camera. It's too bad because otherwise the movies are phenomenal. But there's always another scene of Gimli being a crude little midget to ruin things.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Aren't there any fan edits that cut all that bullshit out?

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          i saw a fanedit of the hobbit movies that cuts anything that isn't from the books, and honestly it wasn't bad. perfectly tolerable.
          apparently those movies are a disaster since the fanedit is just 5 hours.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            I would like to see the 2 hour fan edit, perfonally.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              This one is decent http://www.maple-films.com/downloads.html

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          I once downloaded a LOTR edit that rearranged scenes and cut off fluff to make it more faithful to the books. I think it was called The Red Book or something along those lines.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      hackson fricked every character, not to mention the story and themes. the movies were pure action schlock made for redditors to cream themselves when they fight a cave troll it whatever.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        You're a moron, Harry

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          My name isn't Harry, it's John.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        While I agree with you to an extent. There's no denying that Jackson had some fantastic moments in the movies. Plus Theoden seeing Eowyn at Pelennor was pretty kino character moment.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >fantasy story
        >serious
        it's meant to be pure schlock

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          and it is

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        The movies are literally better than the books
        there are so many awful chapters in the books that were cut out in the movies and rightly so. They bring nothing to the story.

        Reminder that the book (s) end with a war between Saruman and the hobbits.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Would you say that Tom Bombadil brings "nothing to the story"?

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            he's fricking boring and gay

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              that wasn't the question. did he bring "nothing to the story"?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        For all the flaws of Bakshi, certain moments, in execution, are what I prefer. They show a bit more restraint, i.e. when Gimli grieves at Moria, Frodo being speared by the troll, Boromir's last stand, etc. They all work but without the screaming or melodrama of the sad music blaring, the slow mo, etc.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Hackson was uncomfortable with making a straight fantasy epic and not winking at the camera. It's too bad because otherwise the movies are phenomenal. But there's always another scene of Gimli being a crude little midget to ruin things.

      hackson fricked every character, not to mention the story and themes. the movies were pure action schlock made for redditors to cream themselves when they fight a cave troll it whatever.

      >"hackson"
      this is a new one

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      This. He should have had more black people in the movies. Thankfully Amazon’s smash hit The Rings of Power is correcting Jackson’s mistakes.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Kind of. But I don't think him being a simp in the book would have worked.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      He and legolas turned into BFF in the first fricking book, i was just thinking "what the frick" after reading it. Why even change this much in the movies?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Some scenes plainly didn't make sense. Like when they're equipping themselves in Helm's deep before the battle and Gimli shows his oversized chain mail as a joke.
      As if anything the Rohirrim made could match the lowest-tier Dwarven-forged armor.

  5. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    it was and is, this board would be losing it's shit if Hackson released that garbage today

  6. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    because all hackson did was adapt a bunch of books that naturally lend themselves to being masterpiece films while removing the spiritual elements and sprinkling capeshit fight scenes and terrible quips in every 5 seconds, removing any depth that would alienate a moronic audience. he didn’t direct these films, WETA did. all the actual good shit comes from the crew around him. these films work despite jackson

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah we really need some wood spirit walking around whistling and singing about his stupid boots and hat

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Don’t you dare talk shit about our Tom

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Sounds like someone doesn't have cool boots or a sweet hat.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      jfl

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >sprinkling capeshit fight scenes
      Whatever this even means.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >why yes, medieval archers routinely surfed shields down flights of stairs and shot arrows into melee

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          So what you supposedly meant by "capeshit fight scenes" was "Legolas did a stunt"?

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >why yes, medieval archers routinely climbed up a ladder of arrows on an elephants legs, killed multiple guys and then slid down the trunk to land perfectly on his feet while giving the camera a smug look

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      I do get the feeling that the crew working on LOTR were all perfectionists and were going to make a great film regardless of who is directing.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Ah, so youre a christcuck upset the films werent a thinly veiled allegory for your fairy tail book

      Got it.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >60 IQ brown person starts screeching about hating christianity for no reason

  7. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Gimli and Legolas had nothing to do except be invincible and quip

  8. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because the goddamn film came out in 2003?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      That is a non-sequitur

  9. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because it's funny.

  10. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    It is. LOTR are reddit-tier movies

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Not everything good is reddit.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >lotr movies
        >good

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Cry harder b***h

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          lotr is unique in the way star wars was unique. it respresents a major step forward in seriousness and effort for fantasy films. much like star wars took sci-fi out of the small time and into big times and big budgets, lotr set the bar much higher for what a fantasy film should be. and a lot of things just went right. it's got a great score and a great cast and great creative talent.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            2001 did that for sci fi, not Star Wars, there’s a reason a bunch of big budget sci fi films all cropped up around the late 70s (Star Wars, Star Trek, close encounters), it’s because 2001 opened the door for them

  11. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Honestly legolas and gimli make these 7/10 films for me

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Legolas on a surfboard is the worst scene of the trilogy.
      The Hobbit movies are basically that scene on steroid all the time. Frick The Hobbit. The first one was bearable, but the rest were trash.

  12. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Quips aren't inherently bad. Marvel movies are ahit because they are constant quips and the quips are used to undercut all seriousness.

  13. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    You qualify for marvel-tier yourself with this Mr. Fantastic ahh reach

  14. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Wasn't even in the theatrical version, you're whining about bonus scenes you went out your way to watch kwab

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        the sentiment permeates the films

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          that shit with the bones was ridiculous though. all the hackson oc bits stand out and are terrible.

          >got exposed for having no idea what he's talking about
          Cope

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        that shit with the bones was ridiculous though. all the hackson oc bits stand out and are terrible.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Any scene with gimli gets a laugh out of me

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      There are kids in PG13 movies and they need stuff like this to soften things up. I think it’s funny too

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      I'm confused. Why is this funny to me, but I can't stand marvel humor which at times seems similar. What makes this scene different and not cringe?

  15. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    The six hundred pound meme lords of 4chins hadn't downloaded the opinion yet that all humor is LE BAD

  16. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >... I have seen it
    >If you want him.... COME AND CLAIM HIM
    >Right... Where are we going?
    >LOOKS LIKE MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS
    >In fact, it's better if you don't speak at all
    >I am no man!
    >It still only counts as one!
    >MY PRECIOUSSSSSS

    The trilogy was always full of reddit-tier quip schlock

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >WHAT ABOUT SECOND BREAKFAST?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        but second breakfast is a real thing i think in the books
        it's not really a quip it's worldbuilding and lore.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          I don’t think he knows about second breakfast, anon.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >cuts out so many other (important) parts of the books
          >keeps this (unnecessary) quip in for the proto-reddit humor
          k

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            How is that a "quip"? Explain.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              it is a meta witty remark. hackson put it in there to make humor out of the cultural difference between aragorn and pippin

              >quip
              Pippin is actually genuinely asking about second breakfast. The joke is he's acting like he's still in the Shire indulging Hobbits' love of food and doesn't know other places don't eat so many meals. There is no quip anywhere in the scene.

              it is meta and functions as a meta quip, a self-referential nod to the difference between character. it's a very hacky way to do that. it's like if chewbacca were to ask c3p0 for a comb or something

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                I think you're just writing words without meaning.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >"I don't understand what you're saying"
                no wonder you defend these mediocre movies

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >HUMOR?! IN MY LOTR?!!!! DISGUSTING
                Did you draw this picture anon?

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >quip
            Pippin is actually genuinely asking about second breakfast. The joke is he's acting like he's still in the Shire indulging Hobbits' love of food and doesn't know other places don't eat so many meals. There is no quip anywhere in the scene.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Even if it is a quip, it's done in a non serious scene with obvious pause in the action and tension. Merry and Pippin are funny, unserious people thrust into a serious situation. It makes complete sense that they would say something funny while the fellowship are just traveling along.

            Real shit quips are the kind at the start of rotj, where Poe quips to the enemy while being chased and about to be disintegrated by a star destroyer. Or when kylo appears for the first time in his suit, apparently about to single handedly kill everyone, and poe quips something along the lines of 'nice dress' instead of being afraid. Yes I hate nu wars..

            A 'marvel quip' is something that ruins the serious feeling and tension of a scene. Even OPs original example is debatable, because Legolas and Gimli are clearly never in danger against in the middle of a battlefield with just random low tier grunts on the other sides. Now if they quipped against the ring wraiths or something, that would be a real marvel quip.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      most of these lines are not remotely "quips"
      what the frick are you talking about?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Right... Where are we going?
      That's the only bad one, horrible selection you made when there's plenty of better shit tier quips to choose from.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        such as?

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >I think I'm getting the hang of this! *bang*

  17. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >executes surrendering troops
    >quips "Look, I washed for supper!"

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >[blasts surrendering nazis] I wonder what "Bitteh Bitteh means"

      ---Longest Day circa 1964

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Noooooo he killed the slavs.

  18. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >lotr is reddit
    I hate you frickers so much it is unreal.

  19. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    marvel and reddit did not invent quips or comic relief, you braindead zoomer

  20. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    It was, Hackson turning Gimli into comic relief is one of the worst parts about the films.

    The actor for Gimli is the only member of the fellowship who didn't get the matching tattoo. His stunt double did.

  21. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >reading Lord of the Rings
    >Legolas and Gimli actually count their kills in the books like it's a game
    >it wasnt added by Jackson
    >Σ(っ °Д °;)っ

  22. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because the people that call everything reddit weren't born yet.

  23. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    it still lowkey bothers me we never saw the barrow wights

  24. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    this was a good PiB

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      How much of her reaction is acting?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        All of it

  25. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >MOOOM SCHIZO IS IN MY ROOM!
    >MOM GET THE FRICK OVER HERE, SCHIZO IS IN MY ROOM!
    >MOM!! SCHIZO! SCHIZO! SCHIZO!

  26. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    It was and everyone hated it. They had to force in comedic relief because studios think they have magic formulas that make moneys.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      its because its a shortcut to making characters likeable and insinuating bonding because everyone has quip moments among friends from irl they can relate to

  27. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >why wasn't this compared to things that didn't exist yet
    wow, that's a good question, anon.

  28. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because it was actually funny.

  29. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    self-awareness level = 0

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Marvel Marvel Marvel
      >Quip quip quip
      >Capeshit capeshit capeshit
      >Reddit reddit reddit

  30. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    I want that t-shirt ngl

  31. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    it was

    >they have a cave troll?

    legolas was peak capeslop in general

  32. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >There's only one Lord of the Rings ma'am, and he doesn't share his power
    My whole theater cheered

  33. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >ITT morons who don't understand why small doses of levity to keep people engaged exists in a 3 hour long movie
    Some of you are the most autistic homosexuals on the planet who know nothing about filmmaking. Like what the frick are you even doing here?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      They've never had sex or even engaged with a female in any capacity in life which is why they ended up here

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >trying to chadpost
        >in a thread about virgin fantasy movies
        come on man, no one here is in any way "cool"

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Some of you guys are ok. Maybe stay away from the Mines of Moria tomorrow

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          i'm trying my best here

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >epic movies made in eras where air conditioning and smart phones weren't even a thing used to be 3-4 hours long
      >people didn't go storming out of the theater because Ben Hur or Lieutenant Lawrence hadn't made a funny in awhile

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        I literally can't even tell what you're trying to say because you type like an infantile seething moron in greentext. Is it ironic? Post-ironic? Post-post-ironic? Who fricking cares at this point.

  34. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Gimli was the comic relief, the serious characters like Frodo and Aragorn and Gandalf were not making these kind of jokes. Thats the problem with modern action-adventure writing is that every character has to be quipping or be in silly situations at the drop of hat.

  35. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because Marvel's would have done it like this:

    >Battle of Minas tirith
    >Theoden sees dragon thing about to strike him
    >*Looks to the camera
    >"I knew I should have stayed home today"
    >Struck down by dragon

    >Teeth guy answers aragorns call at black gate
    >"So... Does working for Sauron not include a dental plan?"

    >Battle at the black gate
    >Armored troll approaches aragorn
    >aragorn taps a gondorian warrior beside him fighting a generic orc
    >"Hey, wanna switch dancing partners?"

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      None of these sound anything like any Marvel scene.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        You're wrong

        >>"I knew I should have stayed home today"
        Literally in the MCU already before bad shit happens

        >>"So... Does working for Sauron not include a dental plan?"
        Iron Man's used shit like that countless times during face offs

        >>"Hey, wanna switch dancing partners?"
        again, Iron Man does shit like that

        Fundmentally, the MCU is based on quips for the sake of quips
        Sometimes it does it as LOtR does, like Black Widow saying 'At long last is lasting a little long, boys" or when she's working a case and says 'this guy is giving me everything I need' and gives him a look that says 'you're a moron'

        Same with Quicksilver taunting Hawkeye but a lot of shit in the MCU is literally 'haha joke'

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Literally in the MCU already before bad shit happens
          Name them, and also when they look into the camera and address the audience.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >bro you gotta name them under these circumstances despite you never claiming they happened like this

            bro, are you ok bro? I don't respond to trolls, bro. I hope you understand, bro

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              So you're claiming you didn't write
              >*Looks to the camera

              Because Marvel's would have done it like this:

              >Battle of Minas tirith
              >Theoden sees dragon thing about to strike him
              >*Looks to the camera
              >"I knew I should have stayed home today"
              >Struck down by dragon

              >Teeth guy answers aragorns call at black gate
              >"So... Does working for Sauron not include a dental plan?"

              >Battle at the black gate
              >Armored troll approaches aragorn
              >aragorn taps a gondorian warrior beside him fighting a generic orc
              >"Hey, wanna switch dancing partners?"

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                we are done here. You will NOT be getting any more responses as you are CLEARLY trolling at this point, bro.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >I defended this guy's post and quoted it, but you'd better not try to point to the parts I didn't quote!
                Idiot

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                So are you claiming suddenly you were not quoting from that post?

                You're wrong

                >>"I knew I should have stayed home today"
                Literally in the MCU already before bad shit happens

                >>"So... Does working for Sauron not include a dental plan?"
                Iron Man's used shit like that countless times during face offs

                >>"Hey, wanna switch dancing partners?"
                again, Iron Man does shit like that

                Fundmentally, the MCU is based on quips for the sake of quips
                Sometimes it does it as LOtR does, like Black Widow saying 'At long last is lasting a little long, boys" or when she's working a case and says 'this guy is giving me everything I need' and gives him a look that says 'you're a moron'

                Same with Quicksilver taunting Hawkeye but a lot of shit in the MCU is literally 'haha joke'

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >millennial "humor"

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Arwyn enters scene
      >Aragon shouts "A WOOOOO GAH!"
      >his jaw drops open and tongue hangs out
      >pretends to roll his tongue back into his mouth
      >starts stomping his foot on the ground like an excited dog
      >picks up a chair and smashes it on his own head
      >sticks his fingers in his mouth and whistles
      >wipes the condensation off his glasses
      >sword and scabbard stick up like an erection
      >Aragon pants like a dog and howls
      >Arwyn says, "Dont ever call me doll." Forgetting that line was already removed by the sensitivity reader.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >"So... Does working for Sauron not include a dental plan?"

      I can literally hear this line being said. Nailed it

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      The first and third don't sound remotely like any Marvel film I've ever seen. The only one that sounds accurate is the second. I don't know what you're going on about with looking at the camera or tapping some guy on the shoulder.

  36. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because it wasn't a quip
    It was Gimli being serious yet making a joke towards his friend who started off as someone he didn't respect
    Legolas massively outskilled Gimli in that contest
    It's like Hawkeye and Captain American having the same contest and Captain America taking down a tank with his bike with ten people on it while Hawkeye is doing at best, teo people at a time and it's clearly 'hey that shi was good but frick you' as a joke

    It goes beyond a quip as it's not simply there 'for the sake of a laugh' but rather a commentary on how Gimli is seeing Legolas as an equal fully and they're both pushing each other to do better in battlexd

  37. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    theyre not namedropping corporate shill products while partcipating in forced, unnatural banter e.g. gimli isnt telling legolas to try the new ben and jerry's moria flavour with extra orc chunks included for that foul, meaty taste! funny! what about second breakfast at Denny's aragorn, son of Arby's! Haha!

  38. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    it was actually funny

  39. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because Marvlel would have added the joke in the middle of Théoden's big speech during the battle. Not as a big relief moment after the climax of the battle.

  40. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >fricking marvel breaking the fourth wall, hack shit

  41. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because they were actually good films that people will talk about forever as opposed to capeshit5: the good guys win again.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >they were actually good films
      take off your nostalgia goggles, anon

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Just rewatched them recently they still hold up. Take the wiener out of your mouth.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        You will never be a woman, have a nice day now

  42. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    These movies were really fun to watch as a kid especially for a lot of the design aspects, but as an adult they're kind of a drag to watch it has some cool scenes and bits and pieces here and there but I can't suffer through these movies for it to be worth it.

  43. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Thank you for doing the needful sirs!

  44. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >b-grade tv-movie-tier acting
    >mediocre cringeworthy script
    >bad pacing
    >several questionable direction choices
    >disrespectful to the source material
    >outdated cgi
    i won't say they're shit, but they're certainly not great movies

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Having outdated CGI means when it was good at the time with a few exceptions means it can't be great
      Hello George. You want Jackson to release a "final cut?"

  45. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Fellowship is still the peak of cinema.

  46. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    My local theater is playing all three extended cuts this week on the XD screen. Pretty great to experience them in theatres again. Marvelous films that still absolutely hold up today, and honestly I can't name anything close to the quality of those films in modern cinema.
    Saw fellowship today, two towers tomorrow, and RotK wednesday.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Did you attend unaccompanied

  47. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    yeah they really didn't age well

  48. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    People DID b***h about the quips and shit like Legolas riding the shield, zoomer.

  49. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    archerygay here, we used to make fun of legolas' bow action, it wouldn't have hit a single target

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Magic arrows. Aiming and proper form is for b***h ass humans.

  50. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    LOTR did get some criticism from book fans over stupid quips like that

  51. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Other than using the Marvel/Reddit buzzwords it literally is.
    Another buzzword you can use is npc humor.
    Where something unnecessary and criminally unfunny is said and everyone around you laughs in unison like they had set up a meeting beforehand stating when everyone is supposed to laugh out loud in an otherwise silent theater.
    It bothers me way more than it should, but here we are.

  52. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >torch orc runs towards the bomb
    >Chariots of Fire starts playing

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Ashamed I knew this existed lmao

  53. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    THIS is lore accurate. If you think the Hackson version is superior, you are braindead.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      i thought the book described him as having a black void with two glowing eyes for a head

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        He had a crown, empty space but for his red eyes, then below that were his shoulders:

        >‘You cannot enter here,’ said Gandalf, and the huge shadow halted. ‘Go back to the abyss prepared for you! Go back! Fall into the nothingness that awaits you and your Master. Go!’

        >The Black Rider flung back his hood, and behold! he had a kingly crown; and yet upon no head visible was it set. The red fires shone between it and the mantled shoulders vast and dark. From a mouth unseen there came a deadly laughter.

        >‘Old fool!’ he said. ‘Old fool! This is my hour. Do you not know Death when you see it? Die now and curse in vain!’ And with that he lifted high his sword and flames ran down the blade.

        Also, the nazgul had physical bodies, they were just invisible.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      He sounds like Starscream in canon?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Out of the wreck rose the Black Rider, tall and threatening, towering above her. With a cry of hatred that stung the very ears like venom he let fall his mace.
        Yes

  54. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    how did saruman not know it was frodo who carried the ring? gandgay literally lamented "frodo" when saruman was telling him the ring bearer would be killed

  55. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because RotK came out at the start of the modern quip era of Hollywood, it was bearable and amusing then.

  56. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's actually funny.

    With that said, I do question what they did with Gimli's character in hindsight.

  57. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm convinced the TT/RotK hate these last couple years is entirely street shitters being paid by Amazon to shill their own series. I simply find it unbelievably that a white man would badmouth the LotR trilogy.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      They aren't bad films, but they are shit compared to the books. Every deviation is an abomination, and Hackson should be shot for not just sticking to the book.
      >Sauron as an eye
      >Mouth of Sauron as some hideous brute
      >Witch King defeating Gandalf
      >Gimli as comic relief
      >Invincible ghost army (they only scared people in the books)
      >oversized creatures (e.g. mumakil)
      >winged, giant, minotaur balrog (it was a shadow in man's form in the books, wreathed by fire)
      >Uruk-Hai incompetence (compare book Ugluk to Lurtz)
      >Hobbits as idiots
      >Boromir as the least of the Fellowship
      >Denethor as a lunatic
      >troll stabbing Frodo rather than an orc chief (a troll would have killed him despite Mithril)
      I could go on. Endless deviations, all shit, willingly made.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        IMO the worst is how Hackson ruined Faramir's character

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Yes, because of his endless need for drama. Hackson cannot accept that there are stronger men than him in the world, and in fiction. The flawed assume everyone must be similarly flawed. Faramir was a better man than most. Hackson should have reigned in Serkis as well. Now that c**t has stolen the audiobook market from Inglis with his ridiculous overacted narration.
          Inglis:

          Serkis:

          >tfw I actually loved Eowyn's storyline in the movies
          Aside from the cringe "I am no man" pun it was great. She was scared as frick but still faced the Witch-King/went to war, showing the power and courage of humans in face of adversity. Her friendship with Merry was great and felt like a war-formed friendship. Loved all of it.
          She did a great deed by killing the Witch-King, but never came of as some Mary Sue.
          Frick the haters who can't get over Jackson's need for puns.

          >But no living man am I! You look upon a woman. Éowyn I am, Éomund’s daughter. You stand between me and my lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him.’

          Once again, better in the books.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >But no living man am I! You look upon a woman. Éowyn I am, Éomund’s daughter. You stand between me and my lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him.’
            Cringe to give speeches on the battlefield. The movie did it better.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              The Witch King spoke to her you moron. It was a few lines in response.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              >Cringe to give speeches on the battlefield. The movie did it better.
              Nah, it served a purpose in the books whereas in the movie it just feels like a gotcha. Merry is face down in the mud paralyzed by fear when Eowyn makes her declaration to fight to the death to protect those she loves, and how could he not do the same and still consider himself her friend. It moves Merry to action and underlines the overall message of the books. In the movie Merry just moves in and stabs him and she whips her helmet off while Warrant's Cherry Pie starts playing.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Eowyn's monolgue is like 6 seconds long. Just set the timer for 6 seconds right now and imagine Witch King standing there for all these 6 seconds all spooky and bloodthirsty and shit with his flaming sword and just looking at her and listening politely. It's moronic.

  58. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >tfw I actually loved Eowyn's storyline in the movies
    Aside from the cringe "I am no man" pun it was great. She was scared as frick but still faced the Witch-King/went to war, showing the power and courage of humans in face of adversity. Her friendship with Merry was great and felt like a war-formed friendship. Loved all of it.
    She did a great deed by killing the Witch-King, but never came of as some Mary Sue.
    Frick the haters who can't get over Jackson's need for puns.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >courage, merry
      >courage for our friends
      i don't think that line ever got to me before, but it had my crying like a baby a few days ago

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Aside from the cringe "I am no man" pun
      That isn't a pun.

  59. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    i don't remember Gimli being the comedic relief in the books

  60. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    marvel humour would be
    >aragorn sings at his coronation
    >camera pans over crown, single cough
    >"huh guess that was a better idea in my head"

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >*Legolas falls on hos ass from the oliphaunt after killing it*
      >"Huh. Someone got some Lembas bread?"

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      at a certain point I start wondering whether anyone here has actually ever seen an MCU film

  61. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    The death count game bothered me in the movies because in the Two Towers Legolas says he's killed 41 and then Gimli says 42. And if you don't know the books, you assume he's just salty and lying because he's proud and petty.
    In the book Gimli says 42 first and Legolas says something like "gosh! You beat me by one, but I don't care because I'm happy that you made it."
    I GUESS THAT WAS TOO GAY.

  62. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    It is. Hackson was the original capeshit producer and is the reason we are inundated with all the shit in the MCU and DC now

  63. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >take good character
    >turn him into comic relief quippy dwarf who also burps at inappropriate times
    SO
    HECKIN
    AWESOME

  64. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Watched RoTK for the first time in years the other day and was shocked at how poorly the CGI held up. It was utterly soulless. Look at the state of this when Frodo runs into Mt Doom

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      it is weird how poor some of the cgi is. there it looks like he's ice skating. it seems like some establishing shot they just forgot about till the last second. the end of two towers has a lot of that shit too, watch the bit when aragorn notices gandalf. there's a green screened aragorn where it look like viggo gained 50 lbs and then immediately cuts to the on set aragorn. i think they just had a habit of forgetting stuff, shooting it later and then hoping no one notices
      my favourite goof in lotr is at the end of towers, they shot a scene with the party arriving at isengard after the battle, only they couldn't get karl urban back. so they used his stunt double and they forgot to put his helmet on... so you just have some random guy riding next to theoden/aragorn/etc

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        i like in the helm's deep battle when the characters are riding out of the fortress and there's a copypasted cgi legolas hacking at nothing and the uruks are flying off the causeway simply from touching the horses. the cgi is so bad, it has aged like absolute milk

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Hackson never read any history about a cavalry charge. His horses act like bulldozers it's really cringe

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            there are more than mere physical material forces at play in LOTR universe

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      this is only one of a handful of times that stick out for me. most of it still looks great.

  65. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    A lot of the original LotR movies was already Marvel-Reddit-tier, tbh. They did enough right - visually in particular, and staying somewhat true to the source material - to deserve acclaim. But all the stupidity that made the Hobbit movies so unwatchable was already there in the LotR trilogy.

  66. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    you ever tossed a dwarf off a bridge?

  67. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    lotr wishes it could be as good as marvel movies

  68. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Do you morons really think Marvel or LoTR inventned quips? Comic relief has been around forever.
    It's only when ALL the characters quip that it becomes an issue, as opposed to 1 or 2.

  69. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    When I was 14 I loved that shit, but yes now it seems rather in poor taste for Legolas and Gimli to be making sport/a game out of a battle that will cost so many men/elf lives .

  70. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    LOTR has started that trend.

    It also did it infinitely better than modern capeshit movies, because the funny interjections don't happen in every scene, they're never used to undermine an emotionally charged moment and they're always in character. Subtlety is a lost art in Hollywood.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      > they're never used to undermine an emotionally charged moment and they're always in character
      > Shall I describe it to you, or would you like me to find you a box
      Everybody there believes they will die before dawn and the elf cracks a height joke. Out of character and undermines the tension.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        They're trying to pep themselves up before a battle that will likely be their last, it's exactly what soldiers do on a battlefield. See

        You think soldiers are ultra serious at all times? MASH is based on the book by an actual Korean War vet. There's plenty of accounts joking to dehumanize the enemy.
        You make light or go crazy in some way.

        It's also a good time for a joke, a tense but untimately rather unemotional scene. If someone was dying, crying or confessing their love, a joke would ruin the impact, but they've gone through all of that stuff in the previous, serious scenes, so Legolas's manlet quip ruins nothing.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        The whole dynamic between Legolas and Gimli is based on natural animosity between their races. They started with insults, which later on turned into lighthearted jokes. How is poking fun at each other based on race trait out of character for any of them? Also people tend to crack jokes all the time in tense moments.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Out of character for an elf to make a comment at such a time. If it's so common and appropriate, why does every other character around them look like they are staring death in the face instead of laughing and joking? It doesnt work right, it reinforces that Gimli and Legolas are superhero tier characters that have nothing to fear so they can treat the situation as laughable and destroys the tension.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            People cracking jokes in the face of certain death is not unusual. We even have a term for it, gallows humor.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_comedy#Gallows_speeches
              >At his public execution, the murderer William Palmer is said to have looked at the trapdoor on the gallows and asked the hangman, "Are you sure it's safe?"

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Classic Marvel.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Soviet pilots in World War II joked that the true meaning of the type designation of the LaGG-3 was "Лaкиpoвaнный Гapaнтиpoвaнный Гpoб" (romanized: Lakirovannyy Garantirovannyy Grob), "varnished guaranteed coffin".
                kek

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >I want the main characters to be the background characters!

  71. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because it's awesome. Full stop. I wo t go full book mode but the Legolas/Gimli bromans is great and endearing and earned.

    Also, as always, OP is a homosexual.

    Also sage.

  72. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    All the humor In the books came from witty dialogue, which would be lost on the popcorn eating masses. So they replaced it with quips to people could laugh.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >which would be lost on the popcorn eating masses.
      are you pretending lotr is high literature?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >are you pretending lotr is high literature?
        High compared to what?

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