>”HARRY YOU MISERABLE ATTENTION SEEKING ORPHAN RAT YOU MADE A MOCKERY OF THE GOBLET CEREMONY, MADE ME LOOK LIKE AN butthole TO THE OTHER SCHOOLS, GOT THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC CRAWLING UP MY butthole AND KEEP SUMMONING VOLDEMORT WITH YOUR VERY GOD DAMN EXISTENCE!!!” >”AND...” >”You got a Hufflepuff killed, you're back on the case, here's your wand back” >”Um, professor?” >”Sigh” >”And your OTHER wand”
What did he mean by this?
>Help, help! Cedric Diggory has been killed! Yes, Cedric Diggory, my main rival as Hogwarts Champion and object of Cho Chang's affection, has been killed in the maze! Voldemort did it! He's been gone for thirteen years, but he's back and he killed Cedric! Don't ask how, no one ask how! There were no witnesses, please do not look for any! The other two Champions in the maze were cursed with Imperio! Don't bother fetching your Veritaserum, professor Snape, I believe it's all been stolen. I am so upset right now. Has anyone seen Cho? Where do I get my prize money?
There weren't any witnesses aside from the death eaters who saw Snape killing dumbledore either... the teacher Harry hated and who stopped him from playing Quidditch is now suddenly a death eater? Something's not right...
>There were no witnesses,
This is what always irked me about the Triwizard Tournament
>First challenge: we get to watch people go mano-a-drago in an arena, cool >Second challenge: we get to... stare at a lake for an hour? >Third challenge: we get to... stare at a hedge for an entire evening?
>First challenge: we get to watch people go mano-a-drago in an arena, cool
Cool indeed >Second challenge: we get to... stare at a lake for an hour?
Beats attending lectures, I guess >Third challenge: we get to... stare at a hedge for an entire evening?
You can hear the band playing songs, and you can see an ominous wild twisting and turning the maze's walls if you are lucky enough to get a top row seat. It also beats attending lectures as well.
There's only three events in the whole school year as well, and two other schools come stay there for that year. Surely they could have more events, even if they are smaller ones, to make the whole thing actually a competition's and prove who the best wizards are.
>Harry Potter also just happens to be picked
"Lol can't do anything about I guess, we get two entries this year and you visitors can stick with your single one.
I know it's childrens and young adult series, but it is so badly written in places.
>"Lol can't do anything about I guess, we get two entries this year and you visitors can stick with your single one.
do you expect them to defy the mandate of heaven?
they should have had it so anyone can enter like the old days
and Harry doesnt enter
when his name is called, he suspects Ron entered his name but it was Crouch
3 competitors instead of 4
maybe one of the competitors dies before the competition starts and they have Krom be the replacement which is sketchy
It kills him after he hestitates to strangle Harry
I always wondered why this god cut from the movie. Peter Pettigrew is a fairly important protagonist and is pretty much directly responsible for a lot of peoples suffering and the entire series inciting incident and all he gets is a bonk on the head.
Not like his death was too dark for the movie, DH1 was edgy and depressing as shit.
Like, I just miss Cedric so bad, you know? Seems like just yesterday, I would come home to the library and he would like chuck flipendos at my head haha just wearing a potter stinks badge and throwing curses at me and like I miss that. I really need that right now.
Wish I could just close my eyes and like "Avada Kedavra!" Uhh I mean "Abra Kadabra!" And like he's back. If any dark wizard has him just like please, bring him back...
Like, I just miss Cedric so bad, you know? Seems like just yesterday, I would come home to the library and he would like chuck flipendos at my head haha just wearing a potter stinks badge and throwing curses at me and like I miss that. I really need that right now.
Wish I could just close my eyes and like "Avada Kedavra!" Uhh I mean "Abra Kadabra!" And like he's back. If any dark wizard has him just like please, bring him back...
I-I believe you, Mr Potter. After all, the Tri Wizard tournament is lethal, so there were bound to be some casualties, right?
My friends at the Ministry of Magic are very understanding people and Im sure they will believe your story- just like we all do here, when they come here to arres-I mean, ask you some questions. F-Five points to Griffindor for having such honest students.
There weren't any witnesses aside from the death eaters who saw Snape killing dumbledore either... the teacher Harry hated and who stopped him from playing Quidditch is now suddenly a death eater? Something's not right...
>Normal Hogwarts Student and the Year that Potter Kid Killed a Teacher >Normal Hogwarts Student and the Year that Potter Kid Let a Giant Snake Loose in the Castle >Normal Hogwarts Student and the Year that Potter Kid Got the Whole School Locked Down by Ghosts and then Freed the Felon They Were Guarding >Normal Hogwarts Student and the Year that Potter Kid Cheated to Get into the Triwizard Tournament and Killed His Main Rival >Normal Hogwarts Student and the Year that Potter Kid Started a Fight Club >Normal Hogwarts Student and the Year that Potter Kid Killed the Headmaster >Normal Hogwarts Student and the Year that Potter Kid Started an Actual War and Destroyed Half the Castle
It would suck to be an ambitious, effort putting, all classes attending Slitherin student and happen to be at Hogwarts the time Harry Potter was a student. Your career as a professional wizard would be over before it even begun.
>work hard all year to get lots of points for slytherin >potter and his friends get EXACTLY enough to beat us through random arbitrary last minute point awards by the headmaster
Fricking nepo babies
He could have borrowed/stolen a wand from a student prior to entering the maze, or bought a secondhand wand from knockturn alley.
A lot of ways for Harry to get passed priori incantatum.
TO BE FAIRER
the last spell Harry cast was expelliarmus, and accio... Not that he could have disarmed Cedric "cho fricker" diggory, summoned his wand, killed him with his own wand, then thrown it away... No, not Potter, not our previous Potter. Cheating them blind! And HE gets to be a triwizard champion!? What a sick joke!
that's literally the plot of the fifth book, morons. nobody believes him until voldemort straight up shows up at the ministry of magic in front of hundreds of wagies including fudge himself. the only reason harry wasn't arrested was dumbledor's protection and hero of the magic world status
I remember Phoenix often having whole sentences written out only in capitals LIKE WHAT I AM DOING HERE RIGHT NOW in order to convey that Harry's screaming at the top of his lungs like a maniac. There were like 10 different Harry freakouts in that book.
yeah he also had to publish an interview in luna's dad's journal because nobody believed him and I think mainstream newspapers were also calling him crazy
>"ELLO FARTHA!!" >"The Chinese Fireball oooooooooooo!" >Ralph Fiennes screaming and grunting >"HARRRYDIDAYAPUTYANAMEINDAGOBLETOFFIYAH!!?" >"Dis tent iz for champyungs, and friends" >The Christmas ball rock n roll band
What else?
>"ELLO FARTHA!!" >"The Chinese Fireball oooooooooooo!" >Ralph Fiennes screaming and grunting >"HARRRYDIDAYAPUTYANAMEINDAGOBLETOFFIYAH!!?" >"Dis tent iz for champyungs, and friends" >The Christmas ball rock n roll band
What else?
Fiennes screaming and grunting
"I CAN TOUCH IT... NOW!" and Harry howling his lungs out actually freaked me out when I saw it as a kid.
Now I always burst out laughing when Fiennes starts mooing like a cow
>Durmstrang sending out a breakdancer for their big introduction >Everyone inexplicably being super pissed at Harry when the egg makes a loud noise >KILL THE SPARE
>Durmstrang sending out a breakdancer for their big introduction >Everyone inexplicably being super pissed at Harry when the egg makes a loud noise >KILL THE SPARE
The fricking sighs the Beauxbatons students do during their introducrion. >HEEEEEEEEHHHHHH >HAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
Honestly, it made me choke up. I can't decide if it's "over the top" or too real for the movie.
>"ELLO FARTHA!!" >"The Chinese Fireball oooooooooooo!" >Ralph Fiennes screaming and grunting >"HARRRYDIDAYAPUTYANAMEINDAGOBLETOFFIYAH!!?" >"Dis tent iz for champyungs, and friends" >The Christmas ball rock n roll band
What else?
No, it was amazing acting and it's one of the few times in cinema where I believed a father's son had died. Dude really gave it his all. In the book you don't even see his full reaction iirc. Too bad it was for Harry Potter of all things with a character as bland as Cedric.
THAT'S MY BOY AHHHH MY BOY will someone for the love of god remove my boy from the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books were good though
"No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
The whole thing with sock was weird. You can not make Dobby do your laundry because you would be giving him freedom? Can you just sneak into the elf's room and give him piece of cloth with letter saying "from your master, enjoy :)" and he's now free and his master can do nothing about it?
it's just jkr being a dumb ass
like she said there are 1000 kids at hogwarts, but only put 5 boys and 5 girls in each year per house, which equals 280 kids
you can't pay too much attention to that stuff, she's not tolkien
>Look into the pensieve Harry, what do you see” >”I see visions, memories. All swirling about, nothing truly clear” >”Look closer, Mr. Potter, and you shall find the answers you seek” >As his small body bends over the side of the cauldron, he feels Dumbledore’s bony, decrepit hands wrap around his waist >Before he even has a moment to think, he feels his pants slide down to his ankles and his head shoved deep into the cauldron in quick succession >”Dumbledore stop! I can’t breath” cries a frantic Harry as he squirms, arms flailing about, legs stretching >”YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER THAN TO PRESENT ME WITH YOUR TIGHT PINK GOBLET OF FIRE, HARRY” Dumbledore screams calmly into Harry’s ears, the cold breath on Harry’s neck feeling like a kiss from a Dementor >As the wizened wizard feels his meat-wand twitch and prepare to cast a powerful love spell, Harry is forced to watch hours of memories of Dumbledore performing the same sick trick on dozens of students. The pensieve is Dumbledore’s most insidious possession. Not only does it allow Albus to trap their precious fertile young bodies, but replaying the memories of other students helps to lure them under Cumbledore’s lusty spell. A prison of body and mind, even more haunting than Azkaban and with twice as much buttsex
I'm just going to say it, the conflict between Harry and Voldemort should have been handled with Harry adapting muggle life into the wizarding one in the final two books. >Voldemort has control of the Wizard Government but knows frick all about muggles >Instead of flying away on a broom from the house that is a very obvious target, taking a taxi away would have been the smartest thing to do. >If Voldemort charmed his name so that anyone who says it can be tracked calls him Tom/Thomas/Tommy
The ideal way for Voldemort to lose would have been for Harry or a muggle friend he makes to pull an avatar on him. No half-assed wand lore, no "Epic" 3-page speech about the lore, and no half-assed anti-climatic duel from some stupid prophecy. Just a muggle who saw a man who needed to be stopped.
yeah i agree, it's weird that the "racism" against muggle born wizards is such a big thing in the series but muggles are still just window dressing to the story. would've been good to have at least one fish out of water muggle character play a role in the ending
Hell, even as an accident! Just have the Taxi driver suddenly have to tag along with the trio since they need a ride, and Harry is loaded enough to keep the guy as a chauffeur.
Wasn't there a bit of fluff about wizards seeing pistols as muggle wands? I guess Rowling wouldn't or couldn't think about wizards familiar with the normal world exploiting their knowledge. The only wizard who seems to have taken an interest in technology was Ron's dad.
>Guy in charge of knowing things about muggles knows nothing about muggles
So strange. Like a cultural anthropologist not knowing anything about societies outside of europe. You'd think they'd devote more resources to that considering they ostensibly live in fear of the cantspell masses
>Guy in charge of knowing things about muggles knows nothing about muggles
So strange. Like a cultural anthropologist not knowing anything about societies outside of europe. You'd think they'd devote more resources to that considering they ostensibly live in fear of the cantspell masses
>Fantastic Beasts shows wizards hanging out with humans in the 20s, maybe 30s >by the 90s they forgot everything
>Low info schooling system >No passing on of information >Schools don't teach natural sciences or math >90% of jobs are academia or government >Zero technological progress
What a fricking nightmare.
>I'm just going to say it, the conflict between Harry and Voldemort should have been handled with Harry adapting muggle life into the wizarding one in the final two books.
>Instead of flying away on a broom from the house that is a very obvious target, taking a taxi away would have been the smartest thing to do.
Your boy just hops on a plane to Benners for a barry big'un 17th birthday whike Voldy sits there seething
>Instead of flying away on a broom from the house that is a very obvious target, taking a taxi away would have been the smartest thing to do.
perhaps the dumbest thing I've heard on this board in ages. what makes your smooth brain think that death eaters wouldn't be able to destroy a fricking taxi?
Surprising to me this board is filled with guys who struggle to get gf's when every other fricker is making A-grade comedy based on harry potter which is almost as much of an aphrodisiac to the average woman as being handsome or rich. I guess the Dumbledore genocide jokes wouldn't go over very well though
Most anons would get mad pussy if they behaved IRL with even a tenth of the easy confidence they exhibit online. Unfortunately it's not an easy thing to translate into IRL confidence.
Did anyone else find it weird that the movies basically acted like Harry knew this goofy looking homie even though they technically had no interaction before? Like, they just treat it like he was actually building a relationship with him despite it being some dork in disguise the whole time
>puts contestants in an arena with a dragon trying to kill them >puts contestants in a lake with the goal of saving other students filled with mermaids trying to kill them >puts contestants in a maze that consumes the player
>Harry, don't leave my body in this place that will be swarming with wizard cops in minutes >Teleport it straight in front of my father and a crowd of all of our friends and peers >Just trust me Harry, his reaction's gonna be solid gold
What the frick was Cedric's problem?
I'm sure he didn't know the random spooky graveyard he was in but magic always seems pretty traceable in the harry potter, they would just know where he came back from.
>Why yes Snape me and the Minister of Magic have approved this >But Dumbledore, we're talking about kidnapping students and leaving them in the hands of mermaids were they could drown if any of the challengers fail >You dare question me filthy Slytherin >No sire >Good now sneak into the girls chambers without being seen and cast formaldehyde on miss Granger while she sleeps, then do the same for all the others
The students agreed to it beforehand, but even as a kid I thought it was stupid how everyone acted like Harry was being a moron for thinking they were in real danger. They were fricking locked up on the bottom of a lake and that egg outright stated that if you don't save them they'd be lost forever, what the frick was he supposed to think?
>everyone acted like Harry was being a moron for thinking they were in real danger.
I have never read the books, does this happen in the books? Cause in the movie as far as we the audience know those kids couldve died with the mermaids
No, but there was a bumbling nurse on the side there with some ointments, so it's fine. As long as someone doesn't get his head bitten off, but what are the chances.
Inferior actor to GOAT Richard Haris, but also had a weird coldness and distance about him that Dumbledore doesn't have in the early books. Although you could argue Gambons take on Dumbledore fit the grim tone of the later books better.
He was also probably drunk in half his scenes
I don't. I find his performance intensely hilarious especially in the fourth film where he is an angry bumbling schizo. Dumbledore is a shitty "character" and he gets even more moronic the more screentime you have of him, so I don't mind going all in on the ham.
if I remember correctly, a great bulk of that book was about what harry was thinking and experimenting, acting like a schizo, doubting himself about everything and obsessing over ching chong so it was easy to cut that shit for the movie
Yeah I mean I get the intention, seems like a neat trick, but shouldn't the horcruxes be like connected to some degree? Kinda like Harry and Voldemort.
In other words; shouldn't the locket have known Harry was himself a horcrux? So why in the seven hells would a piece of Voldemort's soul intentionally try and murder another piece?
I think since the prophecy implies Harry is the only one that can kill Voldy, killing Harry is more of a priority. Also, it seems like nobody really understood the Harry Horcrux thing except Dumbledore.
When Voldemort killed Lily, something something true love's protection, something something entwined souls, something something twin cores, something something priori incantatem, something something prophecy states one can't live with the other survives.
> true love stops the curse > harry is the only person to ever survive > literally no one in all of magic history has ever loved someone else before
virgin conception by psychic sith midichlorians made more sense than the love protection
>wizard parents always abandoned their children, especially infants, at the first sign of trouble like a lizard shedding it's tail
accepting wizards as powerfully stupid makes every part of magic society make way more sense
You have to be given the choice to be spared, that's the point. Voldemort or most other dark wizards don't usually ask their victims if they want to be killed or not, he just did it that time because Snape asked him not to kill her.
And it's not implied Lily was the only one to do it in history. Harry also does it at the end in the books.
9 months ago
Anonymous
There wasn't a choice. Voldemord would have killed both of them anyway.
9 months ago
Anonymous
He intended to, but Snape begged him not to kill her, so he decided to give her the chance to run away. When she refused, he just went "oh well, I tried" and killed her.
Right, and no one else in the history of ever has ever done that. Harry is The Boy Who Lived.
That's moronic. As if Harry was the first child to ever get protected by their mother from Voldemord or any other Dark Wizard.
I'm gonna give jk the benefit of the doubt on this one only because 99% of wizards in her universe are complete morons who don't actually know anything about magic. It probably happened plenty before but nobody knows or gives a shit.
Why didn't fake Moody just hand Harry literally any object transformed to a port key at any time in his office? Harry would have accepted it immediately without question. Why spend the entire year gambling on him winning the tournament?
Yeah my wife and I always bring this up when we watch goblet of fire. Makes no sense, moody could have just turned Harry’s toothbrush into a port key and boom the entire thing didn’t need to happen. It’s a pretty thin plot contrivance.
do you see this kid? he is the chosen one and we will entrust him to his uncle and aunt who hates him, he will have to return every summer to their home in the Muggle world instead of staying to train to become a better wizard with us, but don't panic bro, I asked the neighbor without magic power to check if everything is going well
Welcome back students to Hogwarts: the safest place in the world for witches and wizards. Rest assured that after last years scare over a gigantic snake that instantly kills you if you look at it, freely roaming the castle grounds, there is nothing here to fear. HOWEVER
Please be aware that a psychotic cultist who has sworn to kill a child is on the loose. You can sleep easy at night though, as demons that will extract your soul are everywhere around the castle grounds stretching their non existent legs. There’s nothing getting in or out of here…
If things do go awry, then I have entrusted a teenage girl with a time travelling device that could either fix literally any problem, or destroy the fabric of our universe. She needs it to attend multiple classes, you see.
Even if this year is not your best at Hogwarts, you can always look forward to the Triwizard Tournament next year, where we can watch senior witches and wizards perform extremely dangerous, life threatening tasks for our amusement
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll hand it over to a werewolf who may or may not kill you if you see him during a full moon
what i want to know is the spell or whatever to make a horcrux
jkr implied it was too fricked up to ever tell anyone
this is the same author who had the who ritual to bring voldemort back including chopping off body parts and grave robbing and a weird fetus monster thing
Pretty sure. It involves killing someone which in the HP universe splits your soul.
A spell to remove part of your soul.
And one final act. But that’s never revealed in the books.
I remember reading a theory it involves cannibalism.
i suspect her original idea was that the process involved killing babies specifically. i mean if i were a young mother writer, that would be the most evil thing i could imagine. so attempting to kill harry fulfilled the ritual to create a horcrux, but then harry's mom divine protection prevents him from dying, and the split soul goes into harry instead.
I love how the political diehards completely flipped their “opinions” on the series once Rowlings views were known. Leftists went from saying how it was a great piece of feminist media with great diversity to suddenly saying it was always bad, terribly written. Right wingers went from saying it was shit, full of plot holes and woke to suddenly heckin basederino.
She's a centrist leaning to the left but not a leftist. Hell she has shown support to people who want to abolish shit like abortion and she donated 1 million to an anti-independence Scotland campaign
Well, I was never part of either group but now I find her fiction abysmal after having read her books again recently. She got lucky that the PR for her books was this good and the movies also helped a lot as well.
not really you are just contrarian midwit. Her fiction is one of the best children books.
you are no different then grrm scrutinizing lotr for tax policies.
>loves a girl >gets bullied by a chad for being a weak omega and no other reason >girl he loves chooses chad that openly bullies him over him >girl dies protecting her and chad's kid >being such a massive cuck that you dedicate your life protecting chad's kid >chad's kid hates your guts >sacrifice yourself to protect chad's kid >nobody cares about it >chad's kid names his spawn to mock your further
Jesus Christ. Is there a bigger cuck in CINEMA history?
Pretty sure he bullied him because he was a weak homosexual that was tailing the girl he wanted to frick. even before he joined Hitler's camp for misguided youths
>88
Heil Hogan brother, but yeah, Snape really got the short end of the stick. Funnily enough his one-itis crippled him, that and he was miserably ugly and a miserable frick to be around
James bullied Snape for being a magical Hitler Youth member.
Couldn't Snape have beaten Harry's dad? Wasn't he a prodigy not only at potions but also making his own spells? Why didn't he cast sectumsempra right at James's crotch the moment he tried to bully him
James was essentially untouchable by favoritism in school and legal system. Also it was mostly 1v4 that prevented him doing much.
Remember why Lupin was allowed to graduate after he almost mauled Snape as a kid? Dumbledore made it very clear that dark wizards aren't welcome there.
Snape could have done all that nasty shit, but that would have made his own situation worse. He could've been great, but terminal case of one-itis ruined him.
>moving unpredictable stairs at great heights >pictures and ghosts that spy on you >deadly monsters in the nearby forest >monsters freely roaming inside the castle >local sport that with 50% certainty will get you heavily mauled >dangerous freaks take certain teacher position every year
Yeah, I would send my kids there.
>Dangers everywhere >Child doesn't learn basic shit like math or language but astronomy which is quacks even in the magical world
Something tells me JK never actually thought about the worldbuilding
Goddammit, I have yellow fever. Not in the sense of the korean bugposter moron and I've liked women of my own race before and even most recently, but pretty/hot east Asian girls have a certain effect on me
Kino. A little real danger is essential for a kids developing image of the world. Had a friend who grew up in Alaska and talked about how a couple different times during recess at school they'd gotten quickly rounded up by the adults and brought back inside because a bull moose or a griizzly was spotted in the woods nearby.
>a remake of harry potter
bro...
bro..................
just when I thought clown planet couldnt get more pagliaccio than this, I hear of a fricking "harry potter remake"
>3 semesters of insane shit happening to Harry >obviously people are after him >everyone sees Fred & George fail to get their names in the Goblet because they're too young >Harrys name ends up in the Goblet >nobody thinks "hmmmm this is probably the work of the same evil people who've been trying to kill him for the past 3 years" >instead its "YO FRICK YOU HARRY POTTER YOU LITTLE b***h WE ALL NOW SUDDENLY FRICKING HATE YOU" >even Dumbledore initially suspects it was Harry who put his own name in the Goblet
Weeeeeell, he's dead now. Lay off, will ya?
>”HARRY YOU MISERABLE ATTENTION SEEKING ORPHAN RAT YOU MADE A MOCKERY OF THE GOBLET CEREMONY, MADE ME LOOK LIKE AN butthole TO THE OTHER SCHOOLS, GOT THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC CRAWLING UP MY butthole AND KEEP SUMMONING VOLDEMORT WITH YOUR VERY GOD DAMN EXISTENCE!!!”
>”AND...”
>”You got a Hufflepuff killed, you're back on the case, here's your wand back”
>”Um, professor?”
>”Sigh”
>”And your OTHER wand”
What did he mean by this?
https://theangrypolicecaptain.net/
>THAT'S MY WIFE'S SON! THAT'S HER BOY!
kino
Lel
>loud, overmodulated voice is funny
Pathetic
>Help, help! Cedric Diggory has been killed! Yes, Cedric Diggory, my main rival as Hogwarts Champion and object of Cho Chang's affection, has been killed in the maze! Voldemort did it! He's been gone for thirteen years, but he's back and he killed Cedric! Don't ask how, no one ask how! There were no witnesses, please do not look for any! The other two Champions in the maze were cursed with Imperio! Don't bother fetching your Veritaserum, professor Snape, I believe it's all been stolen. I am so upset right now. Has anyone seen Cho? Where do I get my prize money?
Always cracks me up.
Robert has a huge skull, mirin
It's just that Radcliffe is a turbomanlet
There weren't any witnesses aside from the death eaters who saw Snape killing dumbledore either... the teacher Harry hated and who stopped him from playing Quidditch is now suddenly a death eater? Something's not right...
>There were no witnesses,
This is what always irked me about the Triwizard Tournament
>First challenge: we get to watch people go mano-a-drago in an arena, cool
>Second challenge: we get to... stare at a lake for an hour?
>Third challenge: we get to... stare at a hedge for an entire evening?
just like racing events
Yeah but at least there there's a camera on the drivers at all times.
Today, yeah. But I don't they had a big screen tv on location at a Formula 1 race 30 years ago.
JK Rowling can't write sports
JK Rowling can't write
>First challenge: we get to watch people go mano-a-drago in an arena, cool
Cool indeed
>Second challenge: we get to... stare at a lake for an hour?
Beats attending lectures, I guess
>Third challenge: we get to... stare at a hedge for an entire evening?
You can hear the band playing songs, and you can see an ominous wild twisting and turning the maze's walls if you are lucky enough to get a top row seat. It also beats attending lectures as well.
There's only three events in the whole school year as well, and two other schools come stay there for that year. Surely they could have more events, even if they are smaller ones, to make the whole thing actually a competition's and prove who the best wizards are.
>Harry Potter also just happens to be picked
"Lol can't do anything about I guess, we get two entries this year and you visitors can stick with your single one.
I know it's childrens and young adult series, but it is so badly written in places.
>"Lol can't do anything about I guess, we get two entries this year and you visitors can stick with your single one.
do you expect them to defy the mandate of heaven?
they should have had it so anyone can enter like the old days
and Harry doesnt enter
when his name is called, he suspects Ron entered his name but it was Crouch
3 competitors instead of 4
maybe one of the competitors dies before the competition starts and they have Krom be the replacement which is sketchy
JK Rowling is a hack writer who doesn't understand the appeal of a sports game or tournaments. That's always the answer.
Reminder that his killer only got a bump in the head and wasn’t even around during the final battle.
In the books he dies choked to death by the silver hand that Voldemort gave him.
It kills him after he hestitates to strangle Harry
I always wondered why this god cut from the movie. Peter Pettigrew is a fairly important protagonist and is pretty much directly responsible for a lot of peoples suffering and the entire series inciting incident and all he gets is a bonk on the head.
Not like his death was too dark for the movie, DH1 was edgy and depressing as shit.
Those shitty DH cut out all manner of small stuff like Ron punching Malfoy
He probably got killed by Voldemort off-screen after learning Harry went away with Luna, the goblin and Olivander.
Just now noticing that his name is Pet I Grew, because He was Ron's pet but grew into a human
Wait a second. I just realised that Chin Ching Cho Chang Chong is actually Chinese for rice farmer. JK is really amazing with her wordplay.
>irish character
>literally named Seamus O'Finnigan
>has a natural inclination to blowing shit up
>talks about turning water intorum
Yeah Cedric, i miss him so much, hope they find Voldemort soon
DARING SYNTHESIS
Huge lel
holy shit lel
Like, I just miss Cedric so bad, you know? Seems like just yesterday, I would come home to the library and he would like chuck flipendos at my head haha just wearing a potter stinks badge and throwing curses at me and like I miss that. I really need that right now.
Wish I could just close my eyes and like "Avada Kedavra!" Uhh I mean "Abra Kadabra!" And like he's back. If any dark wizard has him just like please, bring him back...
>Avada Kedavra!" Uhh I mean "Abra Kadabra!
How have I never noticed this before? JK Rowling is incredible hack
you are genuinely moronic, subhuman even
my fricking sides
Nice
WHO
jej
Bravo Rowling
I-I believe you, Mr Potter. After all, the Tri Wizard tournament is lethal, so there were bound to be some casualties, right?
My friends at the Ministry of Magic are very understanding people and Im sure they will believe your story- just like we all do here, when they come here to arres-I mean, ask you some questions. F-Five points to Griffindor for having such honest students.
>Normal Hogwarts Student and the Year that Potter Kid Killed a Teacher
>Normal Hogwarts Student and the Year that Potter Kid Let a Giant Snake Loose in the Castle
>Normal Hogwarts Student and the Year that Potter Kid Got the Whole School Locked Down by Ghosts and then Freed the Felon They Were Guarding
>Normal Hogwarts Student and the Year that Potter Kid Cheated to Get into the Triwizard Tournament and Killed His Main Rival
>Normal Hogwarts Student and the Year that Potter Kid Started a Fight Club
>Normal Hogwarts Student and the Year that Potter Kid Killed the Headmaster
>Normal Hogwarts Student and the Year that Potter Kid Started an Actual War and Destroyed Half the Castle
It would suck to be an ambitious, effort putting, all classes attending Slitherin student and happen to be at Hogwarts the time Harry Potter was a student. Your career as a professional wizard would be over before it even begun.
>work hard all year to get lots of points for slytherin
>potter and his friends get EXACTLY enough to beat us through random arbitrary last minute point awards by the headmaster
Fricking nepo babies
He wouldn't have to do that if you weren't such a c**t with your Slytherin bias, Snape.
Now I finally realized why Order of Phoenix hazing of Harry made sense. Umbridge was right.
TO BE FAIR, you can check spells history of people's wands so Harry is in the clear on this
He could have borrowed/stolen a wand from a student prior to entering the maze, or bought a secondhand wand from knockturn alley.
A lot of ways for Harry to get passed priori incantatum.
Now you're being silly. You can't have more than one wand.
TO BE FAIRER
the last spell Harry cast was expelliarmus, and accio... Not that he could have disarmed Cedric "cho fricker" diggory, summoned his wand, killed him with his own wand, then thrown it away... No, not Potter, not our previous Potter. Cheating them blind! And HE gets to be a triwizard champion!? What a sick joke!
Heh
howling
that's literally the plot of the fifth book, morons. nobody believes him until voldemort straight up shows up at the ministry of magic in front of hundreds of wagies including fudge himself. the only reason harry wasn't arrested was dumbledor's protection and hero of the magic world status
I remember Phoenix often having whole sentences written out only in capitals LIKE WHAT I AM DOING HERE RIGHT NOW in order to convey that Harry's screaming at the top of his lungs like a maniac. There were like 10 different Harry freakouts in that book.
>The Order of the Phoenix is now 20 years old
yeah he also had to publish an interview in luna's dad's journal because nobody believed him and I think mainstream newspapers were also calling him crazy
Barty Crouch!..........……………
………………
.......
israelite NIOR
Is it a hot take to think that guy did a good job? He sounded like his heart got ripped out in those lines.
It depends on how much of a contrarian you want to come off as, i also think he did an amazing job, you felt his pain
Yeah I think that as well. You really believe that it's a father who's just lost his son.
most memorable quotes from the series
>half of the lines from the first movie
>THATS MY BOY
>...Albus Severus Hermione Potter...
>most memorable quotes from the series
https://youtu.be/Qgr4dcsY-60?t=10
they made her so insufferable in the movies
this is the normies' choice for memorable quote
What an insufferable accent. How do people not just pummel every brit they see?
All I could hear too
https://vocaroo.com/nUt57wURU0C
>https://vocaroo.com/nUt57wURU0C
classic
DEH
>He was the greatest cuckold i've ever met
He forgot
>DEH
It fits the movie. Everyone is pretty over the top in Goblet.
It's very comfy, honestly. I love the worldbuilding in the movie, despite most fans seeming to really dislike the movie.
>"ELLO FARTHA!!"
>"The Chinese Fireball oooooooooooo!"
>Ralph Fiennes screaming and grunting
>"HARRRYDIDAYAPUTYANAMEINDAGOBLETOFFIYAH!!?"
>"Dis tent iz for champyungs, and friends"
>The Christmas ball rock n roll band
What else?
>GIVE ME THE BLOODY NAME
>BARTY CROUCH………
>…………
>…..
>…
>..
>junior
>mfw
>DONALD TRUMP
>....
>....
>....
>junior
>no black could be anywhere
fricking newbies
That's in reference to Prisoner you tryhard homosexual c**t. We're referring to how over the top Goblet is. c**t.
Brendan Gleeson.
Fiennes screaming and grunting
"I CAN TOUCH IT... NOW!" and Harry howling his lungs out actually freaked me out when I saw it as a kid.
Now I always burst out laughing when Fiennes starts mooing like a cow
someone made a gif of voldemort throwing masks back on the death eaters, just reversing the scene in th emovie. in 2020, it was hilarious
>Durmstrang sending out a breakdancer for their big introduction
>Everyone inexplicably being super pissed at Harry when the egg makes a loud noise
>KILL THE SPARE
The fricking sighs the Beauxbatons students do during their introducrion.
>HEEEEEEEEHHHHHH
>HAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
>no "DEH!"
different movie
thats from the fifth movie
unironically the best perfomance in the whole franchise, although Michael Gambon almost ruins the scene
Gambon was atrocious in Goblet
Its a believable performance until you remember his kid is a hufflepuff. Thats the house for losers with no ambition smarts or bravery.
It's also the house of loyalty. He was probably a good son.
Thats cope, gryffindoor is bravery, loyalty, and courage.
Gryffindor seems to be every fricking positive trait under the sun
Ravenclaw are brains and Huffpuff are just the lads who enjoy good footy
It impressed me when I watched it, kudos to the guy for delivering it in such a heartbroken way.
He played his part well; really sold his heart being ripped out. As a dad of two I’d be fricking wrecked in the character’s position.
Yeah. The dude had like 2 fricking lines in the movie and he acted better than most of the cast.
it was the only time in all the HP movies I actually shed a little bit of tear
ill admit i teared up a bit when dobby died. he's like a moronic loyal pet everyone likes
I loved it when Dobby died. But then again, he gives me the same uncanny valley feeling that macaques do and I enjoy seeing them die.
same
He stands out specifically because its great acting in a scene filled with terrible acting
Honestly, it made me choke up. I can't decide if it's "over the top" or too real for the movie.
good list, kek
I think he did a great job. I'd say it was maybe one of the best performances in the series. It's just that it's really easy to meme on
He did a fantastic job. Every time I watch it it gets to me. In all seriousness I have a hard time joking about this particular scene
It feels very real. If anything he was too subdued.
I think it's great, but it drags on a bit too long towards the end with the screaming into the sky in a way that feels forced.
No, it was amazing acting and it's one of the few times in cinema where I believed a father's son had died. Dude really gave it his all. In the book you don't even see his full reaction iirc. Too bad it was for Harry Potter of all things with a character as bland as Cedric.
why the frick does everyone all of a sudden substitute 'opinion' with a 'hot take' ? speak like a human
It's genuinely good. But the whole MY WIFE'S SON meme ruined it for me and I can't stop laughing every time I see it.
THAT'S MY BOY AHHHH MY BOY will someone for the love of god remove my boy from the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books were good though
"No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
nah
>no Clifford
try again
dat bait
newbies get OUT
Atlas Shrugged is dog shit
Atlas Sucked
>Reading fiction
>Thinking you're better than anyone
Lmao
The stranger is overhyped dogshit. “Oh killing le Arab is le bad? Sacre bleu.” Such a contrived and pompous story like catcher in the rye.
the return of the king
Atöas shrugged made me puke
ELLO FATHAH
Can't believe everyone dickrides Heat Legend's Joker so hard when this guy did licking his lips for no reason first.
>LET ME FRICK MY BOY CUTE BUM ONE LAST TIME
what did he mean by this?
>attempts to kill a child right outside the grand wizards office
what did he mean by this?
The whole thing with sock was weird. You can not make Dobby do your laundry because you would be giving him freedom? Can you just sneak into the elf's room and give him piece of cloth with letter saying "from your master, enjoy :)" and he's now free and his master can do nothing about it?
it's just jkr being a dumb ass
like she said there are 1000 kids at hogwarts, but only put 5 boys and 5 girls in each year per house, which equals 280 kids
you can't pay too much attention to that stuff, she's not tolkien
And only like 10 teachers, holy macaroni she is moronic. Needed to have more than one teacher for the big mandatory subjects at least.
She's better than Tolkien
Harry just freed a slave, the grand wizard wanted him dead
He was going to kill Dobby, not Harry
He had to get it on. Simple as
>Look into the pensieve Harry, what do you see”
>”I see visions, memories. All swirling about, nothing truly clear”
>”Look closer, Mr. Potter, and you shall find the answers you seek”
>As his small body bends over the side of the cauldron, he feels Dumbledore’s bony, decrepit hands wrap around his waist
>Before he even has a moment to think, he feels his pants slide down to his ankles and his head shoved deep into the cauldron in quick succession
>”Dumbledore stop! I can’t breath” cries a frantic Harry as he squirms, arms flailing about, legs stretching
>”YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER THAN TO PRESENT ME WITH YOUR TIGHT PINK GOBLET OF FIRE, HARRY” Dumbledore screams calmly into Harry’s ears, the cold breath on Harry’s neck feeling like a kiss from a Dementor
>As the wizened wizard feels his meat-wand twitch and prepare to cast a powerful love spell, Harry is forced to watch hours of memories of Dumbledore performing the same sick trick on dozens of students. The pensieve is Dumbledore’s most insidious possession. Not only does it allow Albus to trap their precious fertile young bodies, but replaying the memories of other students helps to lure them under Cumbledore’s lusty spell. A prison of body and mind, even more haunting than Azkaban and with twice as much buttsex
pasta?
>TO PRESENT ME WITH YOUR TIGHT PINK GOBLET OF FIRE, HARRY
chamber of secrets would've worked better here imo
>even more haunting than Azkaban and with twice as much buttsex
holy kino, brother
I'm just going to say it, the conflict between Harry and Voldemort should have been handled with Harry adapting muggle life into the wizarding one in the final two books.
>Voldemort has control of the Wizard Government but knows frick all about muggles
>Instead of flying away on a broom from the house that is a very obvious target, taking a taxi away would have been the smartest thing to do.
>If Voldemort charmed his name so that anyone who says it can be tracked calls him Tom/Thomas/Tommy
The ideal way for Voldemort to lose would have been for Harry or a muggle friend he makes to pull an avatar on him. No half-assed wand lore, no "Epic" 3-page speech about the lore, and no half-assed anti-climatic duel from some stupid prophecy. Just a muggle who saw a man who needed to be stopped.
yeah i agree, it's weird that the "racism" against muggle born wizards is such a big thing in the series but muggles are still just window dressing to the story. would've been good to have at least one fish out of water muggle character play a role in the ending
Hell, even as an accident! Just have the Taxi driver suddenly have to tag along with the trio since they need a ride, and Harry is loaded enough to keep the guy as a chauffeur.
>voldemort gets mown down by a drunk driver at 2am on the way back from the pub. Driver flees the scene
>Harry finishes him off
Wasn't there a bit of fluff about wizards seeing pistols as muggle wands? I guess Rowling wouldn't or couldn't think about wizards familiar with the normal world exploiting their knowledge. The only wizard who seems to have taken an interest in technology was Ron's dad.
>Guy in charge of knowing things about muggles knows nothing about muggles
So strange. Like a cultural anthropologist not knowing anything about societies outside of europe. You'd think they'd devote more resources to that considering they ostensibly live in fear of the cantspell masses
that's why they were poor, he was awful at his job
>Fantastic Beasts shows wizards hanging out with humans in the 20s, maybe 30s
>by the 90s they forgot everything
>Low info schooling system
>No passing on of information
>Schools don't teach natural sciences or math
>90% of jobs are academia or government
>Zero technological progress
What a fricking nightmare.
>I'm just going to say it, the conflict between Harry and Voldemort should have been handled with Harry adapting muggle life into the wizarding one in the final two books.
>final battle all horcruxes destroyed
>good guys beaten
>bad guys gloating
>voldemort's head asplodes from 2000 yards away by sniper
I'd watch it.
>Instead of flying away on a broom from the house that is a very obvious target, taking a taxi away would have been the smartest thing to do.
Your boy just hops on a plane to Benners for a barry big'un 17th birthday whike Voldy sits there seething
>Instead of flying away on a broom from the house that is a very obvious target, taking a taxi away would have been the smartest thing to do.
perhaps the dumbest thing I've heard on this board in ages. what makes your smooth brain think that death eaters wouldn't be able to destroy a fricking taxi?
He just wears his invisibility cloak and gets in with the Dursleys, then gets out down the road. Easy as piss.
You're a moron writing all that.
10/10 bait
>Can a Magician kill a man by magic?
This thread is always full of femanons. Say hi to them.
Surprising to me this board is filled with guys who struggle to get gf's when every other fricker is making A-grade comedy based on harry potter which is almost as much of an aphrodisiac to the average woman as being handsome or rich. I guess the Dumbledore genocide jokes wouldn't go over very well though
Most anons would get mad pussy if they behaved IRL with even a tenth of the easy confidence they exhibit online. Unfortunately it's not an easy thing to translate into IRL confidence.
>buhbeh behbeh
Did anyone else find it weird that the movies basically acted like Harry knew this goofy looking homie even though they technically had no interaction before? Like, they just treat it like he was actually building a relationship with him despite it being some dork in disguise the whole time
>puts contestants in an arena with a dragon trying to kill them
>puts contestants in a lake with the goal of saving other students filled with mermaids trying to kill them
>puts contestants in a maze that consumes the player
>act surprised when one of them dies
In the book the mermaids knew about the tournament and were in on it. The dragon and the maze were really dangerous I guess
Deh!
IT'S DEEEEEH
zozzle
there it is!!
Deh! it is!
WHOOP DEH IT IS
WHOOP DEH IT IS
>Harry, don't leave my body in this place that will be swarming with wizard cops in minutes
>Teleport it straight in front of my father and a crowd of all of our friends and peers
>Just trust me Harry, his reaction's gonna be solid gold
What the frick was Cedric's problem?
Did Harry know which graveyard it was? The whole point of the portkey was to get him away from Hogwarts.
I'm sure he didn't know the random spooky graveyard he was in but magic always seems pretty traceable in the harry potter, they would just know where he came back from.
Why didn't they just fly the eagles to Voldemort?
name of movie?
Consequences of the cup.
Chalice of hotness
goblins on fire
Percy Jackson and the Hot Cuppa
Bri ish Lads 4: Propa Death Footy Innit
Harry Potter and the Carnival of Carnage
harry pothead and the sorceror's stoned
>Why yes Snape me and the Minister of Magic have approved this
>But Dumbledore, we're talking about kidnapping students and leaving them in the hands of mermaids were they could drown if any of the challengers fail
>You dare question me filthy Slytherin
>No sire
>Good now sneak into the girls chambers without being seen and cast formaldehyde on miss Granger while she sleeps, then do the same for all the others
The students agreed to it beforehand, but even as a kid I thought it was stupid how everyone acted like Harry was being a moron for thinking they were in real danger. They were fricking locked up on the bottom of a lake and that egg outright stated that if you don't save them they'd be lost forever, what the frick was he supposed to think?
>everyone acted like Harry was being a moron for thinking they were in real danger.
I have never read the books, does this happen in the books? Cause in the movie as far as we the audience know those kids couldve died with the mermaids
Yeah, in the books it's explicitly said they were never in any real danger and it was just for show. Dumbledore is buds with the mermaids.
What about the massive fire breathing dragon that would melt you alive? Was Dumbledore friends with him too?
No, but there was a bumbling nurse on the side there with some ointments, so it's fine. As long as someone doesn't get his head bitten off, but what are the chances.
Why people hate Michael Gambon so much? I think he was alright for the most part in the franchise
Because his predecessor nailed it. You can’t follow that and expect much praise
Inferior actor to GOAT Richard Haris, but also had a weird coldness and distance about him that Dumbledore doesn't have in the early books. Although you could argue Gambons take on Dumbledore fit the grim tone of the later books better.
He was also probably drunk in half his scenes
Gambon was great and I'm tired of pretending he wasn't
Fair point. I have a hard time imagining Harris telling Snape he's been feeding up Harry like a lamb for slaughter
He was a dick
Because he just did an impression of his old headmaster instead of playing Dumbledore
I don't. I find his performance intensely hilarious especially in the fourth film where he is an angry bumbling schizo. Dumbledore is a shitty "character" and he gets even more moronic the more screentime you have of him, so I don't mind going all in on the ham.
?t=139
>THAT'S MY WIFE'S SON
>The Chinese Fireball OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
>the chinky fireswat oooohohohoo
alright Dave?
FEET OFF THE TABLE
I think Harry Potter sucks
>Order of the Phoenix is the longest book
>Is also the second shortest movie
What the frick were they thinking?
The books are shit
if I remember correctly, a great bulk of that book was about what harry was thinking and experimenting, acting like a schizo, doubting himself about everything and obsessing over ching chong so it was easy to cut that shit for the movie
Why the frick was Harry a horcrux?
yo mama
Speaking of which; why did the locket try and get Ron to kill Harry? That shit don't make any sense.
They all had their little defense mechanisms. The ring made you die, the diary possessed you... Then JK got bored with the rest.
Yeah I mean I get the intention, seems like a neat trick, but shouldn't the horcruxes be like connected to some degree? Kinda like Harry and Voldemort.
In other words; shouldn't the locket have known Harry was himself a horcrux? So why in the seven hells would a piece of Voldemort's soul intentionally try and murder another piece?
I think since the prophecy implies Harry is the only one that can kill Voldy, killing Harry is more of a priority. Also, it seems like nobody really understood the Harry Horcrux thing except Dumbledore.
When Voldemort killed Lily, something something true love's protection, something something entwined souls, something something twin cores, something something priori incantatem, something something prophecy states one can't live with the other survives.
> true love stops the curse
> harry is the only person to ever survive
> literally no one in all of magic history has ever loved someone else before
virgin conception by psychic sith midichlorians made more sense than the love protection
Yeah, it always shattered my disbelief.
Its not just love, its sacrificing yourself for someone. Voldy told her to step aside and he would let her live and she stayed.
Right, and no one else in the history of ever has ever done that. Harry is The Boy Who Lived.
>wizard parents always abandoned their children, especially infants, at the first sign of trouble like a lizard shedding it's tail
accepting wizards as powerfully stupid makes every part of magic society make way more sense
That's moronic. As if Harry was the first child to ever get protected by their mother from Voldemord or any other Dark Wizard.
You have to be given the choice to be spared, that's the point. Voldemort or most other dark wizards don't usually ask their victims if they want to be killed or not, he just did it that time because Snape asked him not to kill her.
And it's not implied Lily was the only one to do it in history. Harry also does it at the end in the books.
There wasn't a choice. Voldemord would have killed both of them anyway.
He intended to, but Snape begged him not to kill her, so he decided to give her the chance to run away. When she refused, he just went "oh well, I tried" and killed her.
I'm gonna give jk the benefit of the doubt on this one only because 99% of wizards in her universe are complete morons who don't actually know anything about magic. It probably happened plenty before but nobody knows or gives a shit.
his mum was a prostitute and she got cruxed by voldy's Big Wizard wiener
Why didn't fake Moody just hand Harry literally any object transformed to a port key at any time in his office? Harry would have accepted it immediately without question. Why spend the entire year gambling on him winning the tournament?
I would assume that portkeys don't work inside the castle for security reasons
>Have portal in your story
>Nah too sci-fi
>It's actually a... uh... port... key. Yeah, portkey
Yeah my wife and I always bring this up when we watch goblet of fire. Makes no sense, moody could have just turned Harry’s toothbrush into a port key and boom the entire thing didn’t need to happen. It’s a pretty thin plot contrivance.
to provide a cover for his whereabouts
do you see this kid? he is the chosen one and we will entrust him to his uncle and aunt who hates him, he will have to return every summer to their home in the Muggle world instead of staying to train to become a better wizard with us, but don't panic bro, I asked the neighbor without magic power to check if everything is going well
He has to return to his family or his mum's protection spell will stop working and the death eaters can gank him.
That's moronic, it's a spell made with love and his aunt,uncle and cousin don't love him
Also why don't Voldmort just kill them then ?
why are Cinemaphile hp threads always good
Welcome back students to Hogwarts: the safest place in the world for witches and wizards. Rest assured that after last years scare over a gigantic snake that instantly kills you if you look at it, freely roaming the castle grounds, there is nothing here to fear. HOWEVER
Please be aware that a psychotic cultist who has sworn to kill a child is on the loose. You can sleep easy at night though, as demons that will extract your soul are everywhere around the castle grounds stretching their non existent legs. There’s nothing getting in or out of here…
If things do go awry, then I have entrusted a teenage girl with a time travelling device that could either fix literally any problem, or destroy the fabric of our universe. She needs it to attend multiple classes, you see.
Even if this year is not your best at Hogwarts, you can always look forward to the Triwizard Tournament next year, where we can watch senior witches and wizards perform extremely dangerous, life threatening tasks for our amusement
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll hand it over to a werewolf who may or may not kill you if you see him during a full moon
>stretching their non existent legs
He said calmly
So pure of heart.... So based... So protective...
WE KNEEL
>stretching their non existent legs
I love this meme
That scene hurt
The Chinese Fireball
OOOOOOOOOoooooouuuu
what i want to know is the spell or whatever to make a horcrux
jkr implied it was too fricked up to ever tell anyone
this is the same author who had the who ritual to bring voldemort back including chopping off body parts and grave robbing and a weird fetus monster thing
Pretty sure. It involves killing someone which in the HP universe splits your soul.
A spell to remove part of your soul.
And one final act. But that’s never revealed in the books.
I remember reading a theory it involves cannibalism.
I'm pretty sure it's nothing special. Most likely just magic torture and/or killing
i suspect her original idea was that the process involved killing babies specifically. i mean if i were a young mother writer, that would be the most evil thing i could imagine. so attempting to kill harry fulfilled the ritual to create a horcrux, but then harry's mom divine protection prevents him from dying, and the split soul goes into harry instead.
I love how the political diehards completely flipped their “opinions” on the series once Rowlings views were known. Leftists went from saying how it was a great piece of feminist media with great diversity to suddenly saying it was always bad, terribly written. Right wingers went from saying it was shit, full of plot holes and woke to suddenly heckin basederino.
You are wildly misinformed, Rowling is a leftist but shes a TERF.
She's a centrist leaning to the left but not a leftist. Hell she has shown support to people who want to abolish shit like abortion and she donated 1 million to an anti-independence Scotland campaign
Well, I was never part of either group but now I find her fiction abysmal after having read her books again recently. She got lucky that the PR for her books was this good and the movies also helped a lot as well.
not really you are just contrarian midwit. Her fiction is one of the best children books.
you are no different then grrm scrutinizing lotr for tax policies.
>loves a girl
>gets bullied by a chad for being a weak omega and no other reason
>girl he loves chooses chad that openly bullies him over him
>girl dies protecting her and chad's kid
>being such a massive cuck that you dedicate your life protecting chad's kid
>chad's kid hates your guts
>sacrifice yourself to protect chad's kid
>nobody cares about it
>chad's kid names his spawn to mock your further
Jesus Christ. Is there a bigger cuck in CINEMA history?
James bullied Snape for being a magical Hitler Youth member.
Pretty sure he bullied him because he was a weak homosexual that was tailing the girl he wanted to frick. even before he joined Hitler's camp for misguided youths
Nope, James and Sirius started to bully Snape long before he ever got involved with the Death Eater-lite group.
>88
Heil Hogan brother, but yeah, Snape really got the short end of the stick. Funnily enough his one-itis crippled him, that and he was miserably ugly and a miserable frick to be around
Couldn't Snape have beaten Harry's dad? Wasn't he a prodigy not only at potions but also making his own spells? Why didn't he cast sectumsempra right at James's crotch the moment he tried to bully him
James was essentially untouchable by favoritism in school and legal system. Also it was mostly 1v4 that prevented him doing much.
Remember why Lupin was allowed to graduate after he almost mauled Snape as a kid? Dumbledore made it very clear that dark wizards aren't welcome there.
Snape could have done all that nasty shit, but that would have made his own situation worse. He could've been great, but terminal case of one-itis ruined him.
>moving unpredictable stairs at great heights
>pictures and ghosts that spy on you
>deadly monsters in the nearby forest
>monsters freely roaming inside the castle
>local sport that with 50% certainty will get you heavily mauled
>dangerous freaks take certain teacher position every year
Yeah, I would send my kids there.
>Dangers everywhere
>Child doesn't learn basic shit like math or language but astronomy which is quacks even in the magical world
Something tells me JK never actually thought about the worldbuilding
Standard high-school experience. You're not a poof are you?
It looks like she was describing my school.
Goddammit, I have yellow fever. Not in the sense of the korean bugposter moron and I've liked women of my own race before and even most recently, but pretty/hot east Asian girls have a certain effect on me
Kino. A little real danger is essential for a kids developing image of the world. Had a friend who grew up in Alaska and talked about how a couple different times during recess at school they'd gotten quickly rounded up by the adults and brought back inside because a bull moose or a griizzly was spotted in the woods nearby.
>notices son is dead
>starts rambling loudly about some shitty Adam Sandler movie
extremely disrespectful
Cedric Diggory’s dad looked disgusting!
>THERE HE IS! THE WIZARD OF NAPLES, THE SORCERER OF BRACIOLA
Luna should have won
>we'll never have these quirky odd-looking-but-cute White gals in movies anymore
>it's all sassy sheboons now
it's so over bros
i dont even bother watching modern tv shows or movies, frick it all
also arent they making a remake of harry potter or some shit? i bet luna is gonna be horrible and unlikeable in that
>a remake of harry potter
bro...
bro..................
just when I thought clown planet couldnt get more pagliaccio than this, I hear of a fricking "harry potter remake"
i will never not be mad
BEST girl
Robert Pattinson played Sarah Gadon's husband once
>Boy who lived has come to die.
>AVADA KADAVRA!
HELLO MUDDAH
HELLO FADDAH
HERE I AM AT CAMP GRANADA
KINO
>3 semesters of insane shit happening to Harry
>obviously people are after him
>everyone sees Fred & George fail to get their names in the Goblet because they're too young
>Harrys name ends up in the Goblet
>nobody thinks "hmmmm this is probably the work of the same evil people who've been trying to kill him for the past 3 years"
>instead its "YO FRICK YOU HARRY POTTER YOU LITTLE b***h WE ALL NOW SUDDENLY FRICKING HATE YOU"
>even Dumbledore initially suspects it was Harry who put his own name in the Goblet
the whole franchise falls apart once you start thinking about it
no it does not troony
>Why yes please come and teach the children at my school Mr. Werewolf McWerewolfenstein
Pansy Parkinson best girl.