Clues for this week:
>This is Down Home Folk Horror Week on #TheLastDriveIn, with supernatural happenings in a redneck American small town as well as a redneck European village.
Show starts in about 20 minutes
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I'm guess one of them is gonna of them is probably The Blood on Satan's Claw
Globohomosexual in redneck cosplay weekly, hoorray
Probably the children of the corn remake and horror express
https://angelthump.com/rhino36
They just streamed horror express before the countdown.
its RIP
Frick, sorry. My eyes closed for a moment. Let's get Monster
Thanks for the link,bro.
I think there is a free streaming service that can provide some joe bob but I am at my mommies house and she is watching some hoarding crap.
Here is a second (you)
I noticed that shudder got the streaming rights to the remake, but I hope they don’t force him to air it because it’s fricking terrible
Exactly what I was thinking
I see there is a UHD version of Motel Hell making the rounds
I want to get The Burning uhd
What are our odds of not having a troon or a drag queen on tonight?
I wanted to get into this show but would like to avoid this. Where can I find archives without troonies/draggos?
No guests tonight
Watch the first marathon, and everything up through the first two seasons. Notice that in the first season he just straight up says that troons are men in dresses.
Monstervision
The first The Last Drive In marathon starts off with a super pozzed pro-troony bathroom rant, but other than that, the early seasons aren't bad. I think Joe Bob deserves to have nothing but articles about troony rapists and murderers sent to him constantly for that rant though.
>a super pozzed pro-troony bathroom rant
That rant is why troons went after him and why we have so many of the frickers on this show now. He literally refers to the fictional troon in his story as "Clem" and says, "Yeah, we all know that Clem likes to put on a dress, bless his heart..."
They went after him for the Taki mag shit that they discovered like three seasons in, because most of them were complete newbies to Joe Bob. He had a pretty good rant up there about how LGBTQAP+ alphabet shit was divisive bullshit. Surprisingly its still up.
https://www.takimag.com/article/i-knew-a-guy-who-was-lgbtqrstuvwxyz/
Taki is based. Bloom himself is like a 90's Democrat, he didn't know what he was walking into with this late millennial bullshit.
Takismag was fine before it began to suck the israelites off.
I used to read Jim Goad's stuff on there. Basically everything else, other than him and Joe Bob, I ignored.
Its pretty sad. He's a pretty pro-free speech guy, and he outright stated when the Taki Mag shit happened that he wrote there because it was one of the few free speech places online. The way that he kneels to these anti-free speech buttholes now is depressing. I guess he's just stopped fighting and wants to host movies and get his paycheck (which is probably meager, considering its Shudder).
its pathetic. shudder needs joe bob more than he needs them.
rue. I'd wager he makes more touring and through merch, but I could be wrong.
The How Rednecks Saved Hollywood show was great, other than a dumb rant or two unrelated to the topic that he did at my showing. I wish it was filmed, but apparently he discusses different movies in different cities.
>I'd wager he makes more touring and through merch, but I could be wrong.
Even showrunners (which is a step above being the talent) for comparatively successful networks make more off of merch and tours. Several of the people that made successful shows for [adult swim] openly talk about how the most profitable part of their time there was getting a foot in the door for the convention circuit.
Same for musicians, especially these days.
Normies gonna norm.
I think he legit just does it because he likes his fans. I think if he didn't he would just go around doing his one-man show, write some books/articles, and enjoy retirement.
He's getting old and he's surrounded by low IQs who've had their minds destroyed by the social media psy-op of the last ten years.
is that diana prince? don't ask me how i know that porn
We all know Darcy did porn
Yes
Dark Night of the Scarecrow is based but very slow and atmospheric for most of it. Solid summer movie tho
Oh shit Bone Tomahawk?
never mind I enjoy not listening and sucking like a tick, dark night of the scarecrow
With the way he was talking about Ticks and camping I was half expecting Ticks which he's done before or the giant Mosquito movie
when I tuned in I saw the shirt, the eagle broach and him talking about men's crotches so that's why I thought BT.
>Made for tv
>No nudity
I wanted breasts for my goddamn birthday damn it
Ticks aren't the only thing that suck here at the last drive in
>Village mental disabled
cant even say "village idiot", man they chopped the balls of this show so bad
He's not an idiot though, he's actually mentally disabled.
>pull the tick out
>head and legs left in
oh god
you're one of those Mimic-sized ticks aren't you
>Dark Night of the Scarecrow
This has been on my watchlist for a while. Nice.
dark night of the scarecrow sucks even if its one of the better tv movies
I just looked up how Larry Drake (Durant/Bubba) here died:
>On March 17, 2016, Drake was found dead in his Los Angeles home at the age of 66. Drake's manager, Steven Siebert, reported that he had some health problems in the months before his death. It was later reported that Drake suffered from a rare form of blood cancer that caused his blood to thicken
Fug.
>the gnome backyard
now here's the child molester
>the gnomes approve of the sacrifice
I forgot the main antagonist was a fatass mailman and proves mailmen are evil
>I forgot the main antagonist was a fatass mailman and proves mailmen are evil
Charles Durning was a great character actor especially playing shitheads. I always remember him as the guy who tried to vore Kermit the Frog though.
>HE DID IT JUST LIKE YOU SAID OTIS. AS IF HE WERE A LARGE DOG WITH CANINE TEETH.
Hicks are really that dumb so it's believable.
>Remember the game we played the last time? The Crying Game?
Back in the 70s the post office was just like Judge Dredd in the South
It'd be nice if we could have a Last Drive In thread without homosexual /misc/ shit
No it wouldn't
I think it would be.
Unrealistic. There is no possibility that lady wouldn't have had a shotgun, at a minimum. That bro would have gotten a double dose of buckshot the moment he walked up to the door.
Guys I think we did an oopsie shooting ol' Bubba on the cross.
>that whoosh
Didn't know Lynch was in this as a cameo
is this live? O_o
No, but they pretend that it is. It's all pre-recorded.
We are and I know that these threads are at least seen by at least one person associated with the show.
>We are and I know that these threads are at least seen by at least one person associated with the show.
How do we know that?
Don't reply to the schizos
kek.
So, if this was a TV movie. Does it mean there won't be any gore or nudity?
>So, if this was a TV movie. Does it mean there won't be any gore or nudity?
Correct. It aired on CBS.
Well, shit. Here's hoping for the next film, I guess.
>We are
How do you know?
>megalomaniac post man
this
jingle all the way
men in black 2
Seinfeld
Wouldn't the mother be a witness?
Ah the winds of revenge are early this time of year
Has Frank Henenlotter been on this show? Severin is doing a 4K release of Bad Biology and it'd be fun to have him on and talk about it.
Yeah I think when they showed frankenhooker during a valentine's day special
Nice, I'll have to watch it.
>don't tell her anything
in the town that's having a fried chicken party over four dudes getting off with murder? great idea there dr. spock.
olly olly oxenfreeeee
twist: inside it's acclaimed comics author Grant Morrison some 30 years early to the MCR video shoot
Technically Jeepers Creepers is also a scarecrow horror film with a pedophile angle
I'm surprised he didn't mention Pumpkinhead.
yeah. And the Tobbaco Indian from Creepshow
How does the Tobacco Indian have a pedophile slant?
shit I forgot and thought we were back on just killer scarecrows. My bad.
We were. Pumpkinhead doesn't have a pedophile slant.
Its fine mate. But he really isn’t a “Scarecrow” so much as an inanimate object come to life as a killing monster. If we’re going by that metric we’d have to include the entire Killer Dolls series, Chucky, etc.
Hahahahahaha that's a good one
Joe Bob's looking tan and healthy tonight. No Darcy?
She seems to duck out during the movies more and more now.
CBS should remake this as a limited series with the entire cast of OG NCIS in these roles.
the frick is a boarding house?
its like an airbnb but you live there for a while
And rarely are they ever nice.
Apartments for alcoholics
it's like a play date but sadder
thank god he installed all those flood lights for his empty field
Try and pace yourselves for the next movie, guys. I'd rather not be the only one left in the thread during the second showing this week.
FINAL DESTINATION b***h
The bogged cheeks really give me a reverse boner.
Congrats on your new vegana ig?
I wonder what Darcy’s nips look like
Peruse her twitter for 5 seconds.
I shall peruse
>local house of alchys with meals
80s were a weird time
I think they still exist, though more rarely. They're called boarding houses. Basically a bed and breakfast, but can be rented long term, and usually has a bunch of frickers in it at once.
>He put the flapjack on the ketchup
HANGIN' IS TOO GOOD FOR'EM
My couch discussed this and determined they were preserves.
I don't think so, dude... I think it was ketchup for the eggs, because some people like that.
Ole lady did say preserves, so up to viewer to figure to be either strawberry jelly or tomato ketchup.
Fair enough, I missed that. For a second I thought that this murderous pedophile was some kind of monster.
>the machine was on when they found him
>it ran out of gas
my guy a criminal mastermind you are not
Never expected to see a Wiz post on here.
>old radio dramas
I still listen to old Lovelines. I miss the days of "little girl voice" and "...caller, you're full of shit."
Why is she so obsessed with cringe wrestling
Horrorgays and wrestlegays have a lot of crossover.
>HOTNESS WAIT I WANNA BANG YOU AND SHOW YOU MY AWESOME RACECAR BED
Holy shit this guy directed Scissors. One of the most insane movies I've ever seen, they played it on TCM Underground.
I read when Philby dies a young Mr. Sneed can be seen in the background mulling over his feed.
>pigs
Aww shit
>Halloween party
>no one in the dust belt California town dresses up
The movie is set in the South
>"You don't drink."
>absolutely fricking does
>double dips his cup into the punch bowl
fricking mail men
What else has that fat guy been in? Swear I've seen him in either some Burt Reynolds movies or James Bond
>some Burt Reynolds movies
The Best Little prostitutehouse in Texas
>These war horror stories
What the frick
>3 Purple Hearts
christ
Soldiers get at least 4 now just for transitioning. Greatest generation were weak.
Well I checked out Diana Prince’s nipples and ngl I like em. They look very sensitive to being flicked.
2/2 Otis, way to go champ
I don't get what he was trying to cover up. She died of a heart attack. Their first thought isn't going to be, "The mailman scared her to death!"
Classic freakout in a murder mystery
Plot twist its that dog behind it all trying to smear Bubbas good name and kill his mother in revenge for saving the little girl.
Getting to shit on the mailman is just a bonus
WTF is this guy carrying? It's just a weird stick. I thought it was a prybar at first, but it's just a weird wooden stick with red tape on the end.
Beating stick
Looked like an axe handle without the axe part attached. Some people use em for essentially sticks or clubs
Yeah, my girlfriend thinks it is the handle for a mattock or pickaxe.
It's a hog stick. You smack a hog in the neck with it to tell it where to go.
This movie is frickin #kino bros
WE ABOUT TO GET SILO'D
>he can't swim up the grain
fricking small time
NOT THE OATS! FUUUUUUUCK NOT THE OATS
>american
>can't just eat a silo of corn
Unrealistic
Reminds me of that Tiny Tim movie
That movie was preddy good.
Damn Bubba didn't even get a last name
Ritter, it was on there. Bubba was at the bottom because it was his nickname.
I misread it and thought they buried his mother on top of him in the same plot
They do that in Jamaica.
Skeeter just needs some mailman tatty milk
>Skeeter wanna come back to my room and read some Playdudes?
Okay now Skeeter, you just climb down in this grave, nothing suspicious going on here...
Skeeter knows
Knew*
He gets back to the boarding house and the scarecrow is in his seat with a plate full of eggs, ketchup, pancakes and bacon
otis moment
The real monster was alcoholism
Hailee you stop appearing when I'm drunk and horny after murdering Skeeter! Goddamn it!
Is it Hailee or Marylee
Marylee
Marylee according to the subtitles.
Marylee
That's four Purple Hearts if you're keeping track at home
It was at this moment Maximum Overdrive happened
You frick with 1 Bubba you frick with all Bubbas
The Constructicons may be evil but they don't tolerate child rape in pumpkin patches
I actually have a loader like that. That's the hydraulic arm, not the transmission
If the demon kills the girl, it's a nice twist
Now go get that fricking Judge, Bubba.
>"Sheriff what do you think happened?"
>"Geez Rick, Otis here was so drunk he started the loader and started running. Runs into this here missing scarecrow, dies and then Marylee reported it. And there's that new scarecrow that hangs outside her window. And we best ignore that because it's probably devil shit."
I think George Jones almost died like that one time
>One TV movie from 40 years ago mogs all Shudder originals
Nobody watches Shudder originals outside of Joe Bob.
Joe Bob hides in the mobile home during the Shudder Original segments.
Can't blame him. He's too good for this lazy service.
I try sometimes, even the best ones aren't really great.
You can do a great movie with a simple premise (killer monster in woods vs campers) but 95% of shudders originals are just packed to the gills with bullshit
>alright 2 black females
>3 elderly men
>1 transsexual
>at least 2 of the above are gay
>the movie is subliminally talking about feminism effect on global warming and the elimination of rape
>monster, what monster the real monster is heterosexual men that want children
>the budget is $200 and unlimited cases of little Vienna sausages
I watched Inflluencer.
Summer of '84 was good, I wanted to pet the beard cheek hottie in influencer like a kitty. Revenge was good as well. I grabbed a 7 day trial for full moon to watch slimeball bowl a rama 2. The one about the rest room on shudder was good. Mad God is amazing if you like practical effects.
Girlfriend told me to watch The Mortuary Collection or whatever. Told me that there wasn’t anything in it that was going to piss me off. I am dubious.
Mortuary Collection isn't really a shudder original so it's actually not bad.
There's some good stuff on it. But, it's probably on Tubi, also. The only thing that's been worth paying for was The Last Drive-In. Maybe not so sure now from the last year of so of episodes, though.
ohhh i get it so bubba was the scarecrow the whole time
when you die, the genes that made you a moron aren't impacting your soul so you are free to possess shit and mastermind your own revenge. this is basic biology as ghosts don't have cells
Second week in a row asking about Casino.
>Darcy channeling her inner porn director
based
We were robbed of Joe Bob as Little John.
Weird because they went on to cast a unfunny literal nobody, who went on to do nothing, in that role.
Yeah, but I guess they really wanted a frickhuge guy. I get it, but surely there was another part for him...
As on the nose and predictable as that dumb movie was, they should have just cast a small guy as Little John. Hilarity ensues.
>Sneed joke
>HI, MY NAME IS CHUCK
>Farmer shoots him dead
haaaaaa
Damn, he was there to suck
Sneed married my daughter.
my name is sneed and i'm here to fee-ACK
Formerly Chuck
...a quicksand porn horror film?
Sure why not.
Speaking of shudder originals whatever happened to the Deadlands tv show? Waka was great
>Waka
Flocka?
Indeed
Beyond the Door III (1989)
Been in my watch list forever
Do I need to have seen Beyond the Door 1 and 2 to understand it?
Now I want to see Terror Train you butthole
Didn't they show it in a previous season?
ive just started watching these this year
Halloween Hoedown special
You got some catching up to do anon
Amc+ plus has the episodes shudder is missing. That's on there. It's good seeing people get into it. They do a Saturday night show on discord as well. It would be funny to close the pool it.
>we are in a folk horror era
Joe bob recognizing shit and mocking it
haha you agreed with darcy
not sure how your scoreboard works champ but if that means you get 75 seconds to goon to ben shapiro's sister make that time count champ we're all proud of you
it took me 20 years to realize joe bob was in Casino
He's in Face/Off too
They based his character on Bruce Campbell's character in Escape From L.A.
Oh happy day it's the Surgeon General of Beverly Hills
Holy frick I got to go through my closest and get my Beyond the Door III t-shirts and posters I had since I was a kid.
Grain silos are more lethal than quicksand, or as I've taken to calling it, the cuck of deathtraps.
My ancestors were enslaved on July 4th 1776
My one ancestor from that time, his entire 13 member family died in a house fire, and he was badly burned. He signed up in fought in the war, was in it the whole way (most people deserted or their contracts expired). After the war, he shot like 9 people who did nothing but piss him off, then he committed suicide with a pistol one night while smashed of his ass in a bar.
Seemed like an interesting guy.
>then he committed suicide with a pistol one night while smashed of his ass in a bar.
So how did you get here
He fricked some underage trollop cousin of his along the way
Oh. You're inbred.
Yeah, dummy, everyone is, just depends how far back you go.
Listerine was invented in 1879.
im criying
Joe Bob forgetting that politicians and debatebros have no problem telling bold face lies
Did Joe Bob piss his pants?
>only 2 breasts
its over
no shot those were Joe Bob's overwrought novel length Drive-In totals and they need to swap out whoever did
That's what happens when the battery needs replaced.
My crush kept asking me to do an accent the last time we talked. I understand Joe Bob's pain.
I tried to do an accent before but all I can do is say "Cor Blimey, Guv" like Yangus from DQ8.
She wanted me to do a Southern accent. Which I probably can do, but it was embarrassing.
>Now to use my shitty tarot card from Etsy
>ASSONbreasts
>womb tattoo
anime?
>Stop trying to look at my breasts, mom!
>MOM I'M JUST HAVING AN OPEN SHOWER GOD WHAT THE HELL I'M NOT STUCK IN THE DRYER
Pretty good decapitated head
>MOM I TOLD YOU IF YOU WANTED TO LOOK AT MY SATANIC breasts YOU HAD TO PAY YOU FRICKING SLAV
Imagine gatekeeping a Joe Bob thread. You people are the absolute worst.
what u on about
dude wasn't even a cab driver, he just had a yellow car
I still can't separate Bo Svenson from
>I AM PROFESSOR RAPISTSATAN. CAN YOU SAY DOVER-DONG? IT MEANS HELLO DONG.
Kind of an unrealistic premise right from the getgo here. I refuse to believe any american has ever once visited serbia.
What about the ones from Hostel?
Darcy's not giving us much tonight. I mean, she doesn't give us much most weeks. Maybe I should stop.
She's not as fricked up as during sharknado
She was actually fricked up during that one, I don't know WTF was going on. I'm surprised that they put her on camera.
They are doing a pretty damn good job at making her ghoul ass look pretty hot though.
She's always hot.
All she does now is b***h when Joe Bob talks for more than 5 seconds. Can't even get good cosplays out of her now.
Least bogged 44 year old woman in Hollywood.
>virgin birthmark
on the nose but lawl
That is the lankiest midget I've ever seen
Boring flick so far.
This movie has everything nu-Cinemaphile loves: Muslims, Midgets and Mulattos.
I could go for some hotsoup
Old Witch looks like she knows how to party
did I say hotsoup or lsd it is always so hard to translate in serbia
I miss my meemaw's parasite soup.
OH NO, SMOKESTACKS
Who let Kubrick on the set?
Shieeeeeeet
that one guy's just like
>nah, burning's better than what you're going to go through
The witch's house isn't even on fire. Go back and have some hotsoup, relax
Darcy's not a girder expert jfc Joe bob
Joe Bob has good improv skills still. He can turn Darcy's cringe replies in to a segue.
Hey bud....this shit is scripted. Ok? He's good at segueing to her replies because....the same writer writes her replies and his segues.
>bud
This is pure conversation and I won't accept otherwise.
And that writer doesn't get credit. He sits here listening to you frickers.
A blonde guy with a broken ankle and a blonde girl without in Serbia? They're going into porn.
HERE FLUTE BOY SERBIAN TRADITION
>Last week was underwater shit
>This week is redneck and eastern european
What are they trying tell us?
Jet Neptune on the flute
what was the first movie? I was busy lifting weights and jacking off to totally straight, non-troony porn.
Problem Child 2: Reloaded
Trannies go Eastern Europe.
It was Totally Straight Porn 2: Trannies Go Home
such is life in serbia
Why not just climb onto the front of the train rather than be crushed by it?
It would be disrespectful to the train
nevermind i get to see terror train too
No more bosco sticks.
Oh come on darcy, you're in your late 50s, lets not pretend you don't remember all these famous economy cars of your mid 20s.
She’s 44… but I am 38 and I know what a Pinto is and what a Gremlin is. Pintos we’re still the butt of jokes well into my teens.
Darcy replies to Joe Bob like Cinemaphileedditors have been tonight.
You guys up for another movie if we make another thread?
I am
This thread's been full of bot-tier posters tonight. Not sure that's wise.
The first movie was good. I've not been posting much as I have been sitting with my wife watching.
Yeah sure. What do you want to watch? I've been wanting to watch Night of the creeps.
What movies did he do?
We really went from Night of the Scarekino to Beyond the Boring III
Wait, the part we just watched wasn’t the slow part? FRICK