No one who's not a Redditor piece of shit thinks Indiana Jones and that fricking israelite homosexual Ford are any good. Brendan is pure European SOVL and the classic Faustian adventurer ubermensch with joie de vivre. Him CAUSTING the hot israeliteess was the cherry on top of this beautiful cake.
indiana jones is the most overrated series I've ever seen.
also the mummy is very very good but it is not perfect
This, unironically. Raiders of the lost ark puts me to sleep. The mummy is pure kino all the way through
No one who's not a Redditor piece of shit thinks Indiana Jones and that fricking israelite homosexual Ford are any good. Brendan is pure European SOVL and the classic Faustian adventurer ubermensch with joie de vivre. Him CAUSTING the hot israeliteess was the cherry on top of this beautiful cake.
No one who's not a Redditor piece of shit thinks Indiana Jones and that fricking israelite homosexual Ford are any good. Brendan is pure European SOVL and the classic Faustian adventurer ubermensch with joie de vivre. Him CAUSTING the hot israeliteess was the cherry on top of this beautiful cake.
How do I live a heroic life like Rick does? I’m still young and fit enough to go be a military officer, but the military is super lame; I can still go get a doctorate in anthropology, but there’s no jobs in the field. Should I start a farm or run marathons or write a book or something?
>likable cast with good chemistry >humor isn't quippy and the scary parts are actually scary >everyone is smoking hot
I maintain that the only reason the director's next movie Van Helsing failed despite having all the above ingredients is because the color palate is dour instead of bright and fun like the mummy
No he did what every director does, he did as much as he could practically and spent time making every set look good with color and light. Then he's given a blank check and does an all cgi horrible lighting dark as frick big budget cringe fest because he's clueless about what made his first movie good in the first place
How do I live a heroic life like Rick does? I’m still young and fit enough to go be a military officer, but the military is super lame; I can still go get a doctorate in anthropology, but there’s no jobs in the field. Should I start a farm or run marathons or write a book or something?
Rick slummed it in prisons and dive bars, to which Cinemaphile is definitely the online analog. I think he’d not be too elitist to ask for advice when feeling conflicted
Kinda sucks that you can no-longer join the Foreign Legion to forge a new identity, now they actually run a background check and wants to know who you are.
>live a heroic life
Like Rick does? You don't. It is pure fiction.
Become a paramedic. Or a fire fighter. Work a job that actually saves people's lives.
The military destroys people's lives. There are no honorable conflicts of good vs evil.
There's conflicts and interesting things going on all around the world constantly, your biggest hurdle is leaving your comfort zone. Learning other languages helps a lot too.
It wasn't just aging, it was fricking his body up doing stunts and then getting blacklisted by Hollywood because he wouldn't consent to getting molested and then getting divorced by his prostitute wife and getting a crippling alimony payment system inflicted on him.
Brendan...Brendan lived a hard life.
I was rewatching it a few days ago and it made made me think about how much better the world was back then. Think about it. Most areas outside of the west were not industrialised, over populated shitholes. Planes weren't widely available. Technology was limited. Empires still existed. The world was full of mystery, intrigue, and adventure. You could explore exotic lands and locales and boast about discovering old ruins from civilisations long lost civilisations. You would be treated with respect and reverence from locals. God, I was born in the wrong time. Pulpy adventure media is an escape for me.
>I wish I lived back in the 19th century so I could adventure and explore! >dies of cholera, dysentery or yellow fever >gets conscripted and dies like a b***h during the napoleon wars, wars of 1848, or the german unification wars
Born too late to explore the world and born too early to explore space.
Born just in time tho to watch the world go through its Weiner phase with degenerates, browns and gays.
Frick this gay ass earth.
Nothing matters anymore except the fight to bring the old world back.
wow why did it have to be snakes! they're just not all that. its ok. i respect what they were trying to do its just not for me and I don't understand the endless worship they receive. The disney world show is better than the trilogy
>be me >archeologist >people always ask where my fedora and whip are (I do actually own them and leaned into the stereotype eventually but I don't wear it outside just for friends) >always get compared to Indy or the Mummy >asked if I seen any cool shit >job is mostly sitting in an air conditioned tent, filling out paperwork and arguing/bribing local government for weeks and maybe a day of gently stroking some old abandoned rocks for an hour
>and no one can tell me otherwise.
Fricking ESL moron, anyone can TELL you otherwise, I bet you mean CONVINCE you otherwise. Why is this board so fricking moronic?
tourist trap shops take away from the experience for me. decaying third world shanties go well with the idea of exploring the ruins of a great ancient civilization
I don't really think those are pulp movies, anon... They're adventure movies. That said, if you like Sahara then you should also like Fool's Gold because it's Matthew's other treasure-hunting adventure movie.
>Seasoned adventurer and treasure hunter Dirk Pitt, a former Navy SEAL, sets out for the African desert with his wisecracking buddy Al in search of a confederate ironclad battleship rumored to have vanished long ago
Literally me.
I rewatched these movies recently and it never occurred to me how much of it is centered around guns and shooting. It practically a shoot em up movie with an adventure skin.
>that bit where he's whimpering and begging after they catch up to him again
It was fricking brutal, Hollywood wishes it had the balls it had in the 90s
This movie is a headache for anyone with at least basic knowledge about Egypt and has IQ over 70 - it require you to turn your brain off or you will roll your eyes and facepalmuntil your face turns red. >Thebes with Sphinx and Pyramids in the background despite 500 miles distance >Somehow Imhotep knows pharaoh Seti even if one is from old kingdom and the other is from new kingdom so there's 1000 years gap between them >they did Imhotep dirty and portrayed him as evil, despite being a good guy known for medical knowledge and being architect of the first step pyramid >Somehow there's Ankhesonamon who was Tutankhamun's wife-sister but no Tutankhamun in sight >Imhotep is cursed with plagues despite the fact plagus happened centuries after his era
And we are only 5 minutes in. You simply have to turn brain off or you will roll your eyes at every nonsense the script randomly throws at you. There's much more later but listing this would take too long. >somehow Imhotep knows israeli language even if he lived 1000 years before they even appeared in Egypt
If someone got that webm where Rick throws a chair, it's a great allegory to viewers experience, of course assuming viewers are not total idiots. >Rick = the script >Benni = the viewer >chair = any random nonsense lumped together
I have a basic knowledge about egypt and an iq that is over 70. You're just not smart enough to turn your brain off to enjoy the action adventure kino that is The Mummy. The characters are so fun and well written that you'd have to be some kind of pretentious, joyless homosexual to not enjoy it.
>You're just not smart enough to turn your brain off to enjoy
I stated this twice in my post. Repeated 2 times that you have to turn brain off. Otherwise, when you start thinking, it gets incredibly frustrating and ruins whole immersion.
sorry im an official member of the brendan defence force. i single handedly caused the unjustening
I remember being at a music festival and as everyone was walking to the arena we got 100s of people to start chanting IM HO TEP. IM HO TEP. IMHOTEP.
it was kino
I remember being at a music festival and as everyone was walking to the arena we got 100s of people to start chanting IM HO TEP. IM HO TEP. IMHOTEP.
it was kino
Who knew we were literally flush with kino, so much so that we could afford to hate on it for not being perfect. Now we live in a kino desert, and I fear we will never recover...
mogs the hell out of the boring ass Indiana Jones movies that everyone pretends are good
indiana jones is the most overrated series I've ever seen.
also the mummy is very very good but it is not perfect
This, unironically. Raiders of the lost ark puts me to sleep. The mummy is pure kino all the way through
>AH NEEDS MOAR CGI IN MAH GOYSLOP!!
No one who's not a Redditor piece of shit thinks Indiana Jones and that fricking israelite homosexual Ford are any good. Brendan is pure European SOVL and the classic Faustian adventurer ubermensch with joie de vivre. Him CAUSTING the hot israeliteess was the cherry on top of this beautiful cake.
>classic Faustian adventurer ubermensch with joie de vivre
easy zoomers easy
I didnt watch indiana jones until I was an adult because it looked uninteresting.
When I finally did, it was indeed, overrated gar-bitch
She was very pretty in this movie.
They both were.
She was still pretty hot in the Black Widow movie. She has good genes
It's a rare case of a remake that's better than the original.
>remake
le sigh
She didn't consent.
would it be considered problematic if it were produced this day?
Consent can be retroactively given or taken away at any time.
But she liked it, which means that it wasnt rape.
Chad can do things that us normies would be sent to prison for.
>HEY GUYS LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEE
>I FOUND A CURRENTYEAR FLAW!!!!
Sanctimonious little homosexual.
consent not necessary.
Rachel Weisz is a PERFECT mummy
She really has the peak female form.
Then why does her husband prowl around gay bars? Nobody believes his excuse of avoiding bar fights either.
That venezuelian chick outfit
It's one of those movies that I can watch endlessly if it's on tv
Rachel's eyebrows makes it not perfect. What was she thinking?
wanted to look like a 1930s gal
kino experience indeed
I remember watching it when I was a kid with the other family members
really love the mythical ancient egyptian, feels magical
Endlessly rewatchable, yes
I just wanna watch Brendon throw household objects at people for 2 hours, why is this too much for hollywood?
>likable cast with good chemistry
>humor isn't quippy and the scary parts are actually scary
>everyone is smoking hot
I maintain that the only reason the director's next movie Van Helsing failed despite having all the above ingredients is because the color palate is dour instead of bright and fun like the mummy
No he did what every director does, he did as much as he could practically and spent time making every set look good with color and light. Then he's given a blank check and does an all cgi horrible lighting dark as frick big budget cringe fest because he's clueless about what made his first movie good in the first place
The soundtrack sucked major balls in Van Helsing.
I enjoyed Van Helsing and wish it would’ve had a sequel.
Did you think anyone was going to disagree with you?
How do I live a heroic life like Rick does? I’m still young and fit enough to go be a military officer, but the military is super lame; I can still go get a doctorate in anthropology, but there’s no jobs in the field. Should I start a farm or run marathons or write a book or something?
Ask yourself if Rick would be asking a forum for inspiration
Rick slummed it in prisons and dive bars, to which Cinemaphile is definitely the online analog. I think he’d not be too elitist to ask for advice when feeling conflicted
You should've been born around the 1880s or so like he was.
Join the Foreign legion like he did.
This is good advice, but i still think you should first complete basic military training, or you wont last long there.
Kinda sucks that you can no-longer join the Foreign Legion to forge a new identity, now they actually run a background check and wants to know who you are.
Just join the French foreign legion or Wagner group.
Why do then when you can forge a new identity, be a cool merc and lead people to the lost city of Hamunaptra
>live a heroic life
Like Rick does? You don't. It is pure fiction.
Become a paramedic. Or a fire fighter. Work a job that actually saves people's lives.
The military destroys people's lives. There are no honorable conflicts of good vs evil.
Rick was a scumbag foreign legion merc.
There's conflicts and interesting things going on all around the world constantly, your biggest hurdle is leaving your comfort zone. Learning other languages helps a lot too.
выyчи pyccкий и пpиcoeдиниcь к Baгнepy
wtf
The world was cruel to him, give him a break.
Hollywood gay pedophiles tried to destroy his life and career. It's a miracle he's still alive
Mediterranean diet
StrongLifts 5x5
Death whitening
Minoxidil, micro needling
Biotin, Saw Palmetto, supplements
Vitamin D3/K/B/Zink/Iron
He'll be back to his old self within 3 months.
part of it was he suffered a major back injury
you can actually see him struggling with it in the third Mummy movie
Well, his sons look like greek gods.
>People can le age??
It wasn't just aging, it was fricking his body up doing stunts and then getting blacklisted by Hollywood because he wouldn't consent to getting molested and then getting divorced by his prostitute wife and getting a crippling alimony payment system inflicted on him.
Brendan...Brendan lived a hard life.
He fricked up his back for a REALLY shitty movie (that he had to agree to do to pay alimony)
Goddamn
Thought that was SOPHIE
If you were to dye his hair white, you'd have the perfect cast for Griffith.
People age.
It's a thing.
And it's coming for you, whether you like it or not zoomer.
I was rewatching it a few days ago and it made made me think about how much better the world was back then. Think about it. Most areas outside of the west were not industrialised, over populated shitholes. Planes weren't widely available. Technology was limited. Empires still existed. The world was full of mystery, intrigue, and adventure. You could explore exotic lands and locales and boast about discovering old ruins from civilisations long lost civilisations. You would be treated with respect and reverence from locals. God, I was born in the wrong time. Pulpy adventure media is an escape for me.
>I wish I lived back in the 19th century so I could adventure and explore!
>dies of cholera, dysentery or yellow fever
>gets conscripted and dies like a b***h during the napoleon wars, wars of 1848, or the german unification wars
I would rather get cholera than be subjected to endless capeshit
>You will never die aboard an 18th century frigate
>gets conscripted and dies like a b***h during the napoleon wars, wars of 1848, or the german unification wars
God I wish that was me
What you just described is still far more fulfilling that the life of an average modern NPC
I guess. Modern life is still just a depressing slog though.
Choose: cholera or watching Marvel movies.
Born too late to explore the world and born too early to explore space.
Born just in time tho to watch the world go through its Weiner phase with degenerates, browns and gays.
Frick this gay ass earth.
Nothing matters anymore except the fight to bring the old world back.
Rewatched it a couple of months ago for the first time in a while, 5/10, half fun, half meh.
Begone vile trickster!
goodbye benis DDDD:
it's a sublime adventure film
I agree, one of my favorites
I got a blowjob in the theater during the hanging scene.
CG sucks on the Mummy and the action could be better. A masterpiece compared to the sequels though.
>Knight's Tale
>The Mummy
>Lucky Number Slevin
>Mean Girls
>Scary Movie
>Not Another Teen Movie
Legit my perfect comfy movies
No Pirates?
homosexual
>Ninth Gate
>Dave (a perfect 90s movie)
>Big Trouble in Little China
>Ghost in the Machine
>Three Amigos
>Knight's Tale
's Tale
Unironically agree 100%. First two Mummy movies achieve their goals of being the perfect family fun action movies.
Everyone hated the second but it's loved nowadays simply for not being a woke pos movie like all other modern films.
Zorro 2 ripped it off hard.
Zorro 2 was tragic. Mask of Zorro was so fricking good and grounded and serious for the most part and they turned the sequel into a campy mess
mummy returns is unwatchable garbage
wow why did it have to be snakes! they're just not all that. its ok. i respect what they were trying to do its just not for me and I don't understand the endless worship they receive. The disney world show is better than the trilogy
>be me
>archeologist
>people always ask where my fedora and whip are (I do actually own them and leaned into the stereotype eventually but I don't wear it outside just for friends)
>always get compared to Indy or the Mummy
>asked if I seen any cool shit
>job is mostly sitting in an air conditioned tent, filling out paperwork and arguing/bribing local government for weeks and maybe a day of gently stroking some old abandoned rocks for an hour
Learn to be cool and get into gun fights
>and no one can tell me otherwise.
Fricking ESL moron, anyone can TELL you otherwise, I bet you mean CONVINCE you otherwise. Why is this board so fricking moronic?
What an odd flex.
Are you okay bud? Go for a walk and clear your head or something
mummy 1 and 2 are pure, uncut, kino
It was a decent blend of action, adventure, comedy, and horror. Maybe even a perfect blend. It's just fun.
tfw ywn be in 2300 BC getting drunk on the limestone steps thinking about what the morons in 6642 will think of you
The present time is depressing
at least there's not a gift shop inside the great pyramid like there is in the notre dame, tower of london, etc...
yeh no being surrounded by run down third world shit is way worse than a gift shop
tourist trap shops take away from the experience for me. decaying third world shanties go well with the idea of exploring the ruins of a great ancient civilization
The mummy is a great example of an over produced movie
Rec me some pulp kinos.
I don't really think those are pulp movies, anon... They're adventure movies. That said, if you like Sahara then you should also like Fool's Gold because it's Matthew's other treasure-hunting adventure movie.
>Seasoned adventurer and treasure hunter Dirk Pitt, a former Navy SEAL, sets out for the African desert with his wisecracking buddy Al in search of a confederate ironclad battleship rumored to have vanished long ago
Literally me.
The Shadow should be on there
>Sahara
Hell yeah
Check out this movie called Raiders of the Lost Ark, should be similar to those movies.
anyone here play the Broken Sword games? the classic adventurer genre of stories appeals to the white man's soul.
A perfect movie would have Sarah Gadon.
I rewatched these movies recently and it never occurred to me how much of it is centered around guns and shooting. It practically a shoot em up movie with an adventure skin.
>that dude who gets his eyes and tongue stolen by the Mummy
>that bit where he's whimpering and begging after they catch up to him again
It was fricking brutal, Hollywood wishes it had the balls it had in the 90s
MY EYES MY EYYYYYESSSS
then he gets sucked dry and turned into a husk.
>The Mummy 1 is peak adventure action kino
>The Mummy 2 adds in an annoying kid character
WHY
Boris Karloff did it better
This movie is a headache for anyone with at least basic knowledge about Egypt and has IQ over 70 - it require you to turn your brain off or you will roll your eyes and facepalmuntil your face turns red.
>Thebes with Sphinx and Pyramids in the background despite 500 miles distance
>Somehow Imhotep knows pharaoh Seti even if one is from old kingdom and the other is from new kingdom so there's 1000 years gap between them
>they did Imhotep dirty and portrayed him as evil, despite being a good guy known for medical knowledge and being architect of the first step pyramid
>Somehow there's Ankhesonamon who was Tutankhamun's wife-sister but no Tutankhamun in sight
>Imhotep is cursed with plagues despite the fact plagus happened centuries after his era
And we are only 5 minutes in. You simply have to turn brain off or you will roll your eyes at every nonsense the script randomly throws at you. There's much more later but listing this would take too long.
>somehow Imhotep knows israeli language even if he lived 1000 years before they even appeared in Egypt
If someone got that webm where Rick throws a chair, it's a great allegory to viewers experience, of course assuming viewers are not total idiots.
>Rick = the script
>Benni = the viewer
>chair = any random nonsense lumped together
I have a basic knowledge about egypt and an iq that is over 70. You're just not smart enough to turn your brain off to enjoy the action adventure kino that is The Mummy. The characters are so fun and well written that you'd have to be some kind of pretentious, joyless homosexual to not enjoy it.
>You're just not smart enough to turn your brain off to enjoy
I stated this twice in my post. Repeated 2 times that you have to turn brain off. Otherwise, when you start thinking, it gets incredibly frustrating and ruins whole immersion.
sorry im an official member of the brendan defence force. i single handedly caused the unjustening
kino
Have you ever tried not being not gay?
shut the frick up nerd
it's fine. It's loose inspirations made into a fun action horror movie.
What no sex does to a mf.
shut the frick up
based and correct. It's not even the best Mummy movie.
Remember Weiss got walled right after this movie and wanted to girl boss instead of damsel for the second movie.
Still not bad sequel tho
I remember being at a music festival and as everyone was walking to the arena we got 100s of people to start chanting IM HO TEP. IM HO TEP. IMHOTEP.
it was kino
That’s sounds pretty fun, anon. Damn, do I miss those days
I saw this at a drive-in. It was a triple feature. Notting Hill, Me, Myself & Irene and the Mummy. One of my first dates.
It did do a good job making ancient Egypt a magical setting
The CGI effects are absolutely awful.
meh, returns was better.
I used to think this when I was younger because I would self insert as the kid. It's also why I loved the cartoon.
To think we used to give the adventure genre for granted...
Who knew we were literally flush with kino, so much so that we could afford to hate on it for not being perfect. Now we live in a kino desert, and I fear we will never recover...
It is. It was a formative film of my childhood which I watched literally every weekend. Well, this and Zorro.
I always loved this intro
It would have been the perfect movie if Aziz was the one to defeat the mummy with Light.
>Action, horror, adventure, comedy, romance
Literally had it all. Perfect move just like LoTRs.
>normies actually believe this
it gets so much better than lotrmao
She was one of my first crushes