The older I get the more convinced I am that this is the greatest film ever made
![]() Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
![]() |
![]() Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
The older I get the more convinced I am that this is the greatest film ever made
![]() Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
![]() |
![]() Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
Its my number 3.
Behind The Terminator and Phantasm.
>Phantasm
Get the frick outta here anon you're too based for this board.
are you talking about Phantasm(1979) ??
I have not watched this.
it's up there
I mean it's great but let's not go crazy, OP.
What do you think is better in the horror genre? Dog Soldiers? LMFAO
Slaughtered Vomit Dolls
Coven
Evil Dead II
>slaughtered vomit dolls
seeking out obscure films doesn't make you a film buff moron
>Coven
it is one step down from the majority of carpenter's works
>Evil Dead II
A half step down
Have you seen Slaughtered Vomit Dolls? It's the only horror film I've ever seen that scared me. The ramifications of its existence are fricking profound.
just from the name alone i can tell
1) it isnt scary
2) you're an autistic horror-seeker
3) you base your taste on old forum posts from defunct web pages from the early-mid 2000's
I'll go into some /x/-tier schizoshit real quick for you: It's the only film I've ever viewed that summoned literal demons. Do with that information whatever you will. You wouldn't be able to make it all the way through it because you think The Thing is a horror movie, and because you are a homosexual, so it's a moot point. Stay pleb, kiddo. It's safer. Heh.
man i miss being a virgin loser
I'm happily twice-divorced and 45 and telling you that you're a homosexual on Cinemaphile on a Saturday night because when I was your age, I didn't spend my Saturday nights on imageboards. lol. lmao.
yeah instead you spent your time on GrossoutHORROR.net talking to actual child molestors about obscure horror films that no one likes or gives a shit about
For pre-game, I was driving my black 1988 Honda Prelude and drinking Nitro cola and smoking shitty weed and Camel Wides to my girl's house, then pounding my skinny small-tittied goth girl on a slide at a school playground before driving to the industrial club and dropping excellent fricking acid and then putting my load into my skinny small-tittied goth girl in the bathroom. Ask your mother what life was like before you came along and ruined it. Kinda like that, but less fricking boring by five orders of magnitude.
and then everyone clapped
See, back in the early 90s, we used modems differently than you use your Soomer Rectangles. There was a barrier to entry: being able to get on-line was not something that every Black person homosexual pleb moron could do. Not only was it expensive, but it took more than pushing a button or swiping. And we harnessed this technology to - get this - arrange REAL LIFE ENCOUNTERS WITH OTHER HUMANS. Weird, right? Yeah. The people we talked to on-line were HUMANS and we KNEW THEM. And there were enough of us, a couple thousand in most cities, that there we all broke up into little tribes of real people, with BBSes RUN BY HUMANS and USED BY HUMANS in order to facilitate HUMAN INTERACTION. I was a punk-rocker type, but back then, punk-rockers and goth kids and hippies had a kind of loose confederation, so there was a bit of overlap. And so, yeah, as impossible as it is for you to understand, instead of spending my Saturday nights talking to 45-year-old stranger men on the internet, I was out living a very nice life with the people who I met on-line, instead. People like my cutie goth grrl. Cope.
>going on a diatribe to defend the fact that his taste is entirely hinged on what pedophiles on usenet groups and IRC were saying in the early 2000's.
I get it. you were groomed. You don't have to hold onto the pain any longer. I'm probably older than you you fat worthless homosexual. but please keep shitting the board up with your goth-girl-gf fanfiction
>IRC
It's cute how you try to sound like you know what you're talking about. Adorable, even. Again: I had a nice life. You're arguing with a boomer about The Thing on four channel. So...
>Anon can't let go of his first semi-serious girlfriend
It's time to let go bro.
Oh, she was nice enough, but I've had plenty of nice women in my life. But arguing about The Thing on Cinemaphile is a pretty BASED way to spend one's youth too. Much better than. Y'know. Having fun. With women. Or the boys. Or playing pinball. Or smoking shitty weed. Or shoplifting. Or going to concerts. Or playing in a band. Or drinking beer on the train tracks. Right????
i refuse to believe anyone shilling for slaughtered vomit dolls on Cinemaphile has led any kind of halfway decent life. you're a projecting Black person moron
When the FRICK did I "shill" for it, you brainlet? I mean fricking seriously. Are we discussing horror movies or are we discussing sci-fi puppetry? Fricking plebs. I swear to fricking god. I mean -- I shouldn't be surprised that you found The Thing terrifying, given your sheltered fricking NEET imageboard life of abject moronation and loneliness, but...
you type like a fricking zoomie anime addicted Black person brained moron homosexual
You’re a fricking Reddit edge lord moron
I quit using reddit before you were born. It was pretty good back in 2007-2009.
Reddit was never good Black person. I was in highschool in 2006 when people were talking about that rancid website but I was here posting instead. I've NEVER had an account there. Suck my fricking dick reddit gay
Also, you don't know what "projecting" means. Just sayin.
Oh christ reading the rest of this thread disregard my post, the last one.
You are just a delusional homosexual. I thought you were atleast getting laid off your shitty opinions. You are just a genuine hipster through and through.
gay.
You don't want to talk about films. You want to come into a thread and say things like
>This is my favorite.
>That is your favorite.
>I don't agree with your choice of favorites!
This has nothing to do with discussing films. You have been trained to see all of reality as a place for you to write an Amazon review. You can't help it. You were born into a prison. I don't blame you. I pity you. Suffice it to say, Slaughtered Vomit Dolls is, objectively, and here I mean literally objectively, a better horror film than The Thing. We could discuss why this is the case, but you are incapable of having that discussion. Sad.
actual Black person moron
You are correct in that we are incapable of having that conversation, I haven't seen your shit movie.
Do you want to explain the good points of Slaughtered Vomit Dolls? Really sell me on it as it's obvious neither of us have anything better to do tonight and I could torrent it in a second.
If the platonic form of a horror film is to fill the viewer with dread and to make them question the existence of evil, it is simply peerless. It is the most god-forsaken, vile piece of media I have ever experienced. It is not "scary" in the sense of "omg! jump scare!" It is "scary" in the sense that it will fill you with the knowledge that someone, somewhere, was capable of making the film. Other "horror" films are cliched approximations OF evil. Slaughtered Vomit Dolls IS evil. There is no abstraction. No separation between the viewer and the dread. The screen disappears, and one is simply filled WITH horror, as opposed to VIEWING horror. There is nothing in the world quite like it.
holy frick it's like the jimquisition is in the thread with us. you couldn't be more reddit if you tried
If you type it another dozen times, I'm sure eventually I'll start to give a frick. Keep going.
>tfw no one likes your shitty Black person-tier reddit movie
>tfw have to lie on Cinemaphile about having le GF to internet strangers
>tfw have to completely debase myself for internet goodboy points
>tfw addicted to responses from strangers and validation over the internet
If you aren't lying and you're actually in your 40s you should fricking have a nice day Black person
>can't differentiate reality from a shitty student film
yeah, you really should go back
(you)
No (You)
Genuinely thank you for giving me an actual response.
That sounds like complete and total bullshit used to justify a poorly made movie.
Are there themes/ideas in the movie beyond "look at this crazy disturbing shit done at an under 25k budget" or is it exactly what it sounds like a college horror film?
I've seen thousands of horror films, and I feel comfortable telling you to do whatever the frick you want. Continue to make judgements in total fricking ignorance. Watch it. Don't watch it. Get scared by The Thing. Call me a redditor. Call me a poseur, a hipster, all the words, just type all of them. I really don't give a frick. Just know: You're an ignorant fricking pleb who seems to sincerely believe that The Thing is a horror film, and nobody can ever take that level of homosexualry away from you.
holy frick my pussy is so wet ANON PLEASE FRICK ME NOW
Ive been waiting for a real man who knows what a real horror film is!
Cool since you weren't able to explain why the movie was worth watching your college horror "film" beyond vaguery I'll follow your advice.
gay.
>Other "horror" films are cliched approximations OF evil. Slaughtered Vomit Dolls IS evil. There is no abstraction.
you can't just go around HEHing people recklessly
Slaughtered Vomit Dolls was nearly unwatchable. Incredibly repetitive and aimless. I don’t know why he has so many fans. The little I saw of the sequel was just porn
I'm not a "fan" of his. I'm just saying it that I was frightened by it. If being "frightened by a movie" is the point of a "horror" movie, then it beats The Thing. It's also why The Blair Witch Project is a better "horror" movie than The Thing.
>Slaughtered Vomit Dolls
A 19-year-old runaway stripper and prostitute descends into a hellish pit of satanic nightmares and hallucinations.
Budget of 100k
I get that watching shitty student films and obessing over them makes you the coolest "adult" in the 20-22 year olds you are trying to bang. But you are talking to other guys born in the mid 80's here, we aren't going to frick you.
Is it still your favorite horror film?
I'm Gen Xoomer, thanks. But when did I say it was my favorite horror film?
>moving goalposts
you are 100% projecting tastes to seem obscure because you think it will get you pussy Black person
I'm sexed out, thanks. Too old for that. I spend my energies on bird photography, now. And that's still not what projecting means.
Coven? o_O
I admire his tenacity. What can I say?
Agreed. Even when he accomplishes only half of what he says, that's a lot more than most people.
Still same anon making fun of you. The director, editor, producer and writer changed his last name to Lucifer. And this is the homosexual you are trying to present as the GOAT of horror.
gay.
ED1 is better
You Black folk overrate the shit out of this movie I couldn’t even get a rise out of my gf with it. Pointless cheese-fest.
I could rattle off a hundred better horror kinos nerd. Orson Welles’ Macbeth is legitimately creepier ffs.
>I could list 100
>Names 1
>It's a drama
Jesus christ kid
That’s my entire fricking point moron, a Shakespearean drama from 1948 is scarier than this “horror” film despite overcompensating with a bunch of gore and a tryhard soundtrack.
>horror films need to be scary
shit take
Ironic considering when you take away the “scariness” The Thing tries to generate the movie has literally nothing going for it, no plot or themes of any substance, no real characters, no grand visuals. So I agree horror movies don’t need to be scary to be good (Frankenstein etc), something like The Thing does need to be scary because that’s all it’s going for.
And it shits the bed bro
OK, you got me, good bait. But seriously, KYS
Same, anon. I was born in the same month it came out too.
>t. almost 40
It's not even the best Carpenter film, I'm afraid.
John Carpenter had the best decade ever. It's fricking insane
Not even close.
That movie is hilarious.
Macready is the thing and it would hard to convince me otherwise.
Right before blowing up the whole base and dooming any survivors he says "the thing wants to blow up the base and doom the survivors"
Neither is the thing
They both freeze to death
The end
neither of them is
The older I get, the more I'm sick of hearing about it
Do you know anything about production getting yanked? I'm suspicious. That movie was going fill steam firing on all cylinders and I just think it had quite a bit more in it like in the tunnels and stuff. I always imagined that Kurt flipping off The Thing was really Carpenter flipping off the producers.
Great movie. I liked it. A little
over rated on here over the years tho. It had a great cast and action. I’d say it’s more sci-fi than horror.
Good movie but practical effects were so goofy in some places that it felt like a comedy.
>practical effects were so goofy in some places that it felt like a comedy.
you shut your filthy prostitute mouth
yeah.
Cold, snowy isolation with minimalistic soundtrack is shamefully underused as a modern horror theme.
Because there are no women in it.
Just chiming in to say I've shown my VHS copy of The Thing to 3 different chicks and have received a toothy blowjob each time. You don't have to pretend to like obscura when you're a chad
Why are horrorBlack folk more annoying than teenage fangirls?
We aren't more annoying than, we are the exact same fandom just aimed at a different age bracket and sex.
The people who genuinely care what's better Twilight or 50 Shades of Grey are the EXACT same people as who argues over Predator vs Alien. Neither side is getting laid and neither side should be getting....
It’s my favorite kino too. Mac is my favorite character in cinema too.
I really disliked this movie because I hated how impossible it was to beat the thing. I hate monster movies where it is completely hopeless from the outset to even survive, and I mentally checked out when A SMALL AMOUNT OF BLOOD WAS REVEALED TO BE SENTIENT AND COULD SPREAD LIKE THAT.
Is this a stupid reason to dislike it?
It's not stupid but it will make the whole movie fall flat for you, obviously.
The horror is that there are things greater than man and that the only "victory" we can gain over them is at our own expense. If that philosophy bothers you than you are completely vindicated in not liking the message of the movie
Yeah it's a pretty low iq reason to not like it tbh
Justifiable but still very dumb
I don't think that's a weird reason to check out per se, I've checked out of a few movies where someone had some busted advantage, and only didn't use it to win basically because the plot needed to happen.
But I didn't get that sense with the thing, as powerful as it is the protagonists always had a chance. The Norwegians already almost managed to wipe it out, its ability to masquerade as other creatures isn't perfect (it couldn't even fool a bunch of dogs), it can't cope with extreme temperatures, and the setting (Antarctica) is heavily disadvantageous to it.
>WAAAAAAAAAAAH WHY DON'T A BUNCH OF 30-SOMETHINGS LIKE MY SHITTY STUDENT FILM THAT I CONSTANTLY BRING UP ON DATES WHEN IM TRYING TO FRICK THE FUGLY DYKES AT MY LOCAL COMMUNITY COLLEGE
My idol.
There's like 10 different companies that have released HD versions of this movie. What version's the best?
>Other "horror" films are cliched approximations OF evil. Slaughtered Vomit Dolls IS evil. There is no abstraction.
This is the gayest shit i've read on Cinemaphile in a while.
I'm fully aware that your brain and testes are filled with microplastics and SSRIs, and that your concept of what film is is restricted by your diminished capacity thereby. I realize that this diminished capacity means that you literally cannot physically understand anything that hasn't been created by Hollywood for your consumption, and that the only thing that you are capable of doing is typing "based" or "cringe" or posting a png that reflects the confusing mish-mash of inner-states that you don't understand and are incapable of expressing in language. It's a shameful thing, but it's not your fault. I don't hate you. I feel sorry for you. Truly.
okay now you're just fully admitting i was right and that you're a giant gay who should go back
>it's not your fault. I don't hate you. I feel sorry for you. Truly.
There's no way this guy isn't grooming young 16 year old boys on discord LMFAO
Hey man if he gets access to the holes he wants more power to him. I just want him to admit he "likes" this shit because it gives him access to that bussy.
Why wait for the admission of a sin we both know has been committed? Why wait for the admission of the guilty when we've pinned them so correctly?
Because a shameful sin isn't nearly as much fun to talk about as a known sin. And since we are all a bunch of homosexual anons on a Saturday night I'd rather we be truthful.
Even the most Black personish moronic criminals will never admit their crime. If you wait for admission, you'll be waiting far beyond execution. homosexual moron brained Black person APES aren't capable of introspection. They can't admit they're wrong because in their minds that concept DOESN'T EXIST. Introspection is solely the realm of white men.
As a man whose name means man of Britain, when it was white?, I can't really disagree with you.
Also watch 1st 48hrs. PLENTY of Black folk admit to their crime after being pressed on it for more than a minute.
the atlanta episodes of first 48 are always god-tier
You've still got some growing to do. Come back when you realize Gremlins 2 is the greatest film ever made.
How much tight young college pussy does liking Gremlins 2 get me? How much PRETEND young college pussy does it get?
The ending sucks. The Thing transforms into a giant monstrosity and all he does is blow it up real quick
Yeah, frick you too
it's like finding something at the Goodwill that is old and was considered a modest effort at the time but now appears to be made by the gods
There are no women in this movie. What the frick?
The computer? Also wtf is going on in this thread?
Same. No frills.
It's legitimately overrated as frick. It's a good horror movie sure, it has good production, atmosphere, yada yada yada but it literally aspires to be nothing and is just a good flick like most of caprteners shit. Halloween is the only Carpenter film I'd consider to be truly great because it so wildly influenced all of pop-culture. They Live is also better for that reason, The Thing is ultimately shallow and a bit moronic in its writing
>pop culture influence impact lets me know if it's le good or le bad
have a nice day redditBlack person
I imagine we don't want to have a real conversation about what constitutes good art but if we do, your ironic point is correct.
What good does knowing what the best of any genre is if you are unable to talk about it with other people? Ergo a piece of art's "consumablity" is part of what makes something great.
So goyslop is the standard now? Black person
It absolutely is, yes. That statement can enrage you as a coinsure but it still remains true. If you the greatest piece of _____ can't be talked about by the majority it loses it's power. It's why things aimed at a 90-110 IQ make billions.
If you're not careful, xe's going to open up xer anime reaction png folder at you. Tread carefully.
I'll refrain from using ergo in the future. It does come off as pretentious douchbaggery.
Among Us and board games like Werewolf popped over to tell you to go frick yourself
In a post internet era pop culture relevance may as well be non existent as a concept
To claim something like They Live has had a bigger "cultural impact" than The Thing is totally disingenuous at best and downright extra chromosome tier at a first glance
You're just a fricking pseud seeking validations for you opinions under the guise of discussion. Just fricking post what you think and frick off or engage with people that engage with you stop fricking begging people to converse with you whilst your jerk off your own opinions
I'm gonna keep jacking off and talking with you about the value of pop art vs true art thank you very much.
whatever pseud
when one holds the other hostage it can only be the hostage keeper that shrieks with feminine vocabulary after being left in the cold by their superior captive. we are not in the decade that is conducive to your troony shrieking anymore.
Not really sure what you are trying to say here or where I became the troony in this conversation but w/e. I just like movies I'm able to talk to actual humans with as much as I love my Cambodian basket weaver forum friends. When I found out my co-worker had also seen Zat and we both laughed about how stupid it was was magical but I doubt that'll happen again in the real world.
The Thing is literally a nothing movie. Most of Carpenter movies are. They Live and Halloween are better however because They Live has greater social commentary and narrative through use of the medium and Halloween had great cultural impact. The Thing is literally a good horror movie, and the difference between a horror movie and a regular movie is that a horror movie sacrifices its greater story telling capability to scare the audience.
I don't see you talking about actual indie or artistic films, come back to me when you talk about Sátántangó, an 8 hour long movie about farming, instead of John Carpenter's hollywood blockbuster movie
I jacked off to salo and the holy mountain. Frick you Black person. The thing is a great film
The Thing has commentary on the human condition. Went over your head completely.
No it doesn't. Like wise how They Live isn't a movie with commentary on evil aliens invading, it has commentary on (jews) or (republicans) or (yuppies) depending on how you take to view the movie. The Thing doesn't have commentary on the human condition simply because it portrays how people behave in such a situation, the best commentary I've seen claimed is that it's representative of the aids epidemic but even that requires stretching and leaps to justify meaning to a movie ultimately without one
It doesn't attempt to tell any greater narrative or story. It works as a good horror movie but again, what's the point besides shallow entertainment? Pop-culture relevance isn't what makes something good but there's a reason why The Thing has stayed pretty niche and has inspired basically only video-games. Because The Thing does not have enough depth to stay in the public consciousness. It's basically a Marvel movie in terms of depth and is as disposable as one. They Live will always be relevant for the message and story it tells, Halloween will always be relevant for how it revolutionized a genre, The Thing stays niche because besides the flash and flair it has nothing more
The fear of death and the unknown is a core part of being human, not just shallow entertainment. The creature in the thing is practically unbeatable by humanity, and I would argue probably the most unsettling movie monster for that reason. If it or anything like it exists out there, we’re probably fricked. The difficulty of facing that plausible reality is what elevates The Thing beyond monster movie.
That's like saying Sasha Grey Gets Creampied.avi is not shallow entertainment because people having sex is a core part of being human. You can like porn (and/or The Thing) without trying to make the case that it's high art.
could you stop being israeli?
>The Thing doesn't have commentary because it doesn’t.
Great argument
The movie doesn't support any commentary or themes presented
got it 100% and said it better than I can
>The Thing
>shallow
>moronic
Equating pop culture prevalence with value borders on bait, but
> it literally aspires to be nothing
is your one real criticism. What did you mean by it?
Not him, but are there any themes in The Thing? Anything at all other than a bunch of bros fighting a baddie? It's all atmosphere, and that atmosphere never changes. It's the cinematic equivalent of the Windows XP Comfy Hillside Wallpaper.
The most blatant one would be fear of the other or of something we don't understand the motivation of. This is blatant due to the monster in the movie but extrapolated to other humans based on the other research team being met with hostility.
Paranoia on an individual level would be the 2nd most presented theme.
Okay, let's say you're right. That theme is not developed or explored to my satisfaction. The dog hook at the beginning sets the tone, and that tone does not change. There is a "fear of other" at the beginning, and very little development of the theme throughout; the only thing that is developed is the *form* of the "other." The same seems to be true for the paranoia. They address the themes at a surface-level-what is the monster, what does it look like, where is it, is it in this person or that person-but there is no real contending it outside of the appearance. Nobody is going to come away from viewing The Thing with a deeper understanding of Fear of The Other or Paranoia. It is not going to inform their future decisions. It will not change their personhood. It's a fun movie, but it's not particularly deep or artful, and its impact is constrained to it being a fun romp. Nothing more.
Absolutely true and really unarguable points made. I really enjoy the movie because it is a spectacular creature feature and the themes of it are just background to great monster design and enjoyable characters.
It was the Cold War. The paranoia in the thing leads to complete destruction of the base just like paranoia about Russia was leading towards mutually assured destruction. It is deeper than you make it out to be
>it needs an intellectual message to be good art
This is the type of midwit that Nietzsche destroys in Beyond Good and Evil, in the chapter “We Scholars”.
When did I intimate it needed an intellectual message? Please recall: the only argument I've made ITT is that Slaughtered Vomit Dolls is an objectively better horror film than The Thing.
>i never elucidated my exact critera for why x film is more t than y film!
>THEREFORE YOU LOST THE ARGUMENT
Go back
I have to say, it was quite a lightning in a bottle type situation. I believe Carpenter had a year long period to plan the movie, hence he had a very ample time to think of what goes on into the movie, including adding the detail on the mystery aspect of which of the characters got turned in the course of the movie. I don't think he got that chance anymore after that.
What clothing brands should i wear to look like this?
Tell just tell your mom you want to look like MacReady, she'll figure it out
It's a 4/10
There's an amazing movie inside every Carpenter film but I hate every single one
Amazing premises, concise scripts, but dogshit music and lacklustre performances
None of his horrors scare, none of his comedies make you laugh
Such a shame because I respect John a lot
>ennio marricone
>dogshit music
actually moronic Black person
It's Morricone butchered by Carpenter, but yeah I forgot and am wrong in the case of The Thing, (and the iconic Halloween theme), the best soundtrack of Carpenter's films. The music in The Thing is okay.
They Live on the other hand has mind numbing, soul destroying audio.
>They Live on the other hand has mind numbing, soul destroying audio.
you're actually just trolling at this point.
Not liking Carpenter's filmography might be the one single point on which I diverge from most of Cinemaphile on and people can't accept it.
I'm sorry. I'm not trolling. I just hate his films.
But as I said I respect him and wish he had a longer career even if he's not for me because many other people I like hold him in a high regard.
>longer career
he's outlasted almost every director in hollywood moron
well I wish he was at the top of the system for longer then
last film over a decade ago and there was a decade gap before that and since the early 90s he's only worked on B-Movie trash
from what I can tell even most Carpenter fanboys think he made his last not shit film in 1988 with They Live, maybe In The Mouth of Madness in 1994 depending on who you ask
man got shafted by Hollywood which I don't think is fair
I always liked Village of the Damned and don’t know why it got panned. One of Reeve’s best performances
>dogshit music
3/10 bait
The China movie was shit
>The China movie
It's shit like this that makes me glad that zoomers are removing their reproductive organs en masse.
Agreed
>this whole thread is two buttholes jerking each other off
>How will we make it?
>Maybe we shouldn’t
“To be or not to be?” One of the oldest philosophical questions known to man.
i was worried i'd come into this thread and it would be everyone saying why it sucks. Glad we can almost all agree it's kino
the effects are so cheesy it's ridiculous
Reminder that if you missed the first run around for The Thing in theaters for the 40th anniversary, they are doing it again.
https://www.fathomevents.com/events/The-Thing-40th-Anniversary
Apparently the first two dates were disasters:
https://www.ign.com/articles/the-thing-40th-anniversary-screening-turned-out-to-be-a-disaster
mine was fine and I'm too much of a moron to realize anything wrong with aspect ratios
They’re showing it for only one more day?
It makes media rats seethe.
>"reviews noted a lack of camaraderie and romance, which Arnold said reduced any interest beyond the special effects"
So porn addiction was a thing back then too huh