The Simpsons Atheists

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    What next? Are they going to go back and re-edit the episodes where Marge makes reference to her being a Christian, and kill off Reverend Lovejoy?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      No, they'll just never mention religion again except as a weird cult thing only crazy people do. The Simspons were never Christian, ever.

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    lisa has an abortion
    have no fears we got stories for years
    maggie becomes an enbie
    have no fears we got stories for years

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Will somebody please think of the children!?

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    does anyone actually go to church in 2022? I don't know a single person, not even remotely.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Blacks.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Everyone except me does where I live.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        insane

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        What's it like living a liberal shithole city full of diverse culture and crime?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Madrid is pretty good anon. Really diverse too. "Right wing" gov but they would be called "commies" by american standards lol

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            how are catalonians?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        why don't you?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >I don’t know anyone who voted for Nixon

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      The Catholic church near me livestreams their service. I was thinking about going so I checked out the livestream and it was mostly old people. Sadly they even had an in memoriam section for members who had passed away. Hopefully one day I can find a church that has nice looking girls

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        LDS Church

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          But their beliefs are unbearably moronic

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            And the one where you worship a pedo in a funny hat isn't?

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            birth rate is more important than beliefs

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            What's more plausible. Joseph Smith received some golden tablets with writings of ancient people to guide modern people back to God?

            Or, all of civilization is a progression of science and culture leading us out of the dark ages into the current peak of history where we finally understand the ultimate ethic of human rights and individuality.

            Trust me man, I did the grad school philosophy thing and the main lesson I learned is that all our beliefs are fricking insane and your best off believing your own experiences and cultural inheritance.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              >we finally understand the ultimate ethic of human rights and individuality
              Do we?

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Search Latin mass locator

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            beats a bunch of larping pedophilic literal barbarians

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        join a suburban evangelical megachurch

        lots of single women who want to get married, and their beliefs are usually really vanilla

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >evangelical
          Pass.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          They also expect you to take the religion seriously and not be a loser.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            They still frick. Problem is the 20’s something’s that aren’t married but are into that stuff are ugly.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I'm too scared I'll be judged.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        no that would be a courtroom.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I'm from the bible belt so many people I know go. But to be honest they're all the "holier than thou" boomer types that are complete buttholes in day to day life but still act like they're saints on Sunday. I was also best friends with the son of a black pastor of a church here, and boy did I learn about how fricked up that household was behind the scenes. I like the idea of church but I don't like the reality of it, I've only been a few times myself.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I had a couple of friends that started going in their mid 20s to try and meet "quality women" after blowing through roasties

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah a fell for that meme too

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I never really went to church growing up unless my grandma begged me to go. My parents are christians but they never went to church.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >My parents are christians but they never went to church.
        Yes, I'm a chef that's never picked up a knife or turned on an oven

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          you've clearly never read the bible if you think the structure and gold are a necessary part of worship

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      This is why they’re doing this, not because of silly /misc/ reasons. The real-life Simpsons family would have gone to church in the 1990’s, if only as a formality. The real-life Simpsons family today would not.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Only non-whites.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      blacks and women, so stupid people.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >mother is nonreligious and father is israelite
      >but as nonpracticing israelite as you can get
      >i never had a bar mitzvah or have even stepped foot inside a synagogue

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I do

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      There's two near me with large communities. I'd like to attend, they all seem to nice and happy but I just don't believe in that God or that I'll get anything from pretending to follow the scripture so don't go.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It wasn't until I was 16 before I even found out that Churches were a Christian thing and not just some weird American thing. THAT's how few people go to Church in my Western European country.

      People don't even go to churches for marriage, burials etc anymore. I don't know any Christians personally, never seen one IRL and I have to go back 5 generations before finding a religions person in my family tree (great-great-grandfather)

      We are also one of the richest countries with lowest crime rate, which might be related.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Holland or Switzerland? I'm french and I knew about churches since a young age
        t. atheist family

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      people that have stable families so no one you would ever be in contact with

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Why would I want an acritical view of some old traditions shaping my life? There is not even room for debate. Plus all the disadvantages of any big social gatherings.
      Dropped.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      This. I know a lot of people who gp to the mosque but not one who goes to church

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I tried recently but I just can’t. The priests do a shit job covering worthwhile topics in any meaningful way. Even as a Christian there’s no point.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Only some catholic churches and chad orthodox churches (and like 1-2 black churches) are worth going to. The rest are boring high school assembly tier of latte + bad guitar homosexual priest singing about shit he doesn’t understand tier.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I try to go to Mass when I can. I really should go tomorrow.

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    At what point did Flanders stop acting as a foil to Home and just become a soapbox for the fedora tipping nu-writers to shit on religion

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I think around the time Maude died.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      People forget the entire point of Flanders in the beginning was to be the better Homer. Homer hated him out of jealousy, not because he was "annoying". His Christianity was a element of him being a squeaky clean family man, not the entire point of his character. That version of Flanders disappeared almost immediately.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        The golf episode was pretty based by showing Flanders getting angry and petty like Homer after having his considerable patience exhausted. I think that's sort of the peak of Flanders as a character with religion being irrelevant to the story.

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    What about sneed?

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    *GASP* Oh no! It's the Sneedocratic CHUCKDIDATES!

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Sneed and Chuck are Trump supporting chuds though

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        kek sorry but they’re not
        cute tho

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Sneed and Chuck haven't voted since 1980
        after their boy Carter lost they became disillusionment with politics

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Next arc: Marge and Homer make their relationship an open relationship. Marge's side bf of the week will be a guest celebrity everytime!

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Simpsons did it already. Homer and Marge both canonically have cuck fantasies.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous
        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          A daring synthesis

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Fricking yikes

        Is this what happens when people who grew up with Simpsons porn become writers?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        jarring.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >NOOOOO!!!!! WHY WOULD THEY DO A CHEAP VISUAL JOKE IN SEASON 33 OF MY BELOVED CARTOON SHOW

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >Stop noticing things, goy!
          What did anon mean by this?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      > Marge and Homer make their relationship an open relationship.
      They already did that. Marge fricked an athletic black guy and homer spent the entire episode failing to pick up women until he ended up fricking the black guy too

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        was he topping?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        There is no way that is a real episode

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        There is no way that is a real episode

        That was Family Guy.

        Simpsons had an episode like that but Homer received lots of female attention but he "used" them just for their food only to get dissatisfied and wanting Marge's food back. While marge missed cooking for someone that enjoyed the food.

        Why do I know these two factoids? I have no life and watch everything.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Idris Elba

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Formerly Christ's

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    They honestly should've aged the characters over time, now it's just fricking silly that everyone is still the same as season 1

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >everyone is still the same as season 1
      Wrong, Smithers isn't black anymore.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        And he's not burnsexual anymore, just a flaming homosexual.

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Does anyone here actually watch the Simpsons new episodes?
    I unironically don't know anyone who does

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I haven't watched the simpsons since the 90s.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        That's the thing. I know many people who watched the show years ago, but none of them watch the new episodes

        Literally no one does, its a tax write off.

        I'm starting to believe this

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Merchandise is 100% the only reason why it keeps going, everyone could stop watching it but the show would continue being made

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Literally no one does, its a tax write off.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >It's a tax write off
        Explain how this would work please.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      No, the ratings come from elderly people who have their TV on 24/7 and the third world

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >what more progressive than to erase religion
    And yet they won't even dare to touch Islam or Judaism

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Maybe if you Christcucks werent such spineless homosexuals things would be different.

      They dont go after Muslims and israelites because they will both respond with violence and financial frickery respectively. Christcucks will just take it up the ass and no nothing, as always.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        unlike you, right?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Christ did command them to turn the other (butt)cheek

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          uhh actually if you read your bible
          >Deuteronomy 20:16-18
          >16 However, in the cities of the nations the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance, do not leave alive anything that breathes. 17 Completely destroy[a] them—the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites—as the Lord your God has commanded you. 18 Otherwise, they will teach you to follow all the detestable things they do in worshiping their gods, and you will sin against the Lord your God.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            that's from the israelite bible, christ's contradictory teachings in the new testament take precedence over the teachings in the old testament

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            You should read any text according to context.
            When was it written?
            By whom?
            Who was the audience?
            Otherwise you risk becoming a fanatical mouth breather

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >BRO JUST ape out
        Yikes

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Yes, chimping out is a wonderful option.

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Can't wait for Bart to become a troony.

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I miss Phil Hartman

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      based "I miss Phil Hartman" poster

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I was watching S3-6 on a binge last week, the man is LITERALLY the highlight of every episode he's in, even the episodes where he's got 30 seconds of screen time

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      me too

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >being anti-religion is being progressive

    lmao ok

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Is this real or is this another fake headline from the dude that's been making these "captain america is now an athiest" threads?

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    What a blessing for church

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    why are they referred to as progressives, when all of their goals are destructive?
    that's not progress

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    so when are they gonna make lisa trans

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It's going to be Bart because they've been trying to deconstruct his "America's Bad Boy" image for a lot longer than he actually had it.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        nah bart's too ingrained in the cultural zeitgeist had his own song etc, lisa is the irritating social activist of the family

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >had his own song etc
          How many modern Simpsons fans are aware of the Bartman?

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            bart has global catchphrases, he is their international mascot they're not going to make it bart. it's like disney making mickey mouse trans.
            although i hope they do the backlash will be hilarious

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              >global catchphrases
              Which he hasn’t said for 25 years or so.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                alright make him trans then and enjoy your plummeting merchandise sales

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                How much Simpsons merchandise is actually being bought these days? I haven’t seen a Simpsons t-shirt in years, although I don’t live around hispanics, so that may account for it.
                I don’t think they will make Bart trans, Imwas mainly pointing out that the Simpsons isn’t a major cultural force these days.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >I don’t think they will make Bart trans
                they won't make it lisa either tbh. it'll be skinner (or if they wanted accuracy, sideshow bob)

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                It will be Milhouse.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                i hope so, that would be hilarious

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Milhouse doesn't count

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Close, it will be his dad

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >they make milhouse trans
                >troony milhouse becomes a meme
                the prophecy shall be fufilled

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                troony Milhouse will never be a meme.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous
              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >despite your directions
                every time

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      nah bart's too ingrained in the cultural zeitgeist had his own song etc, lisa is the irritating social activist of the family

      They won't make Lisa or any of the main characters trans, that's a change they're not risking.

      Instead, it will be Lisa adopting they/them pronouns - mark my words. It will fit the character too: every single straight white girl who's up to her neck in woke shit goes by they pronouns these days, as it's the perfect zero-effort way to become queer and thus earn that coveted victim status these types worship.

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >and what more progressive than to erase religion?
    kek based tim

  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    They don’t even seem like Americans anymore idk how anyone could still be a fan of this show it’s like a test bed for leftist propaganda

  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Season 34
    How does it keep on going for so long? Surely the low ratings should have killed it by now

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Who cares about ratings when Fink will just bail them out of any dogshit?

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >No longer has a setting to lampoon religion with
    Secretly based? Now we see the end result of a godless show continued beyond unholy 34 season unlife.

  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    What's the viewing demographic for modern Simpsons? Is it mostly streaming or TV? I assume it's not boomers since they hated the show (?) Is it just aging gen x/millennials who keep watching one horribly unfunny episode a week even though it's completely different from how it was?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Spics, bro.

  25. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Sneed

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      seething newbie, lurk more

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Nah go spam your shit on another board, dumb pol homosexual.

  26. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    It’s…beautiful.

  27. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Nah go spam your shit on another board, dumb pol homosexual

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Cringe

  28. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    will they still go to Sneed's feed and seed?

  29. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    It was always a satanic show.
    The way they treat Flanders is a clear indication

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Flanders is literally Satan, though.

  30. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Oh no, the audience will no longer be treated to 13yo fedora tier dunks on Protestantism

    Good. They never had anything interesting or novel to say on the subject anyway.

  31. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Sneed

  32. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I mean, they were always likely apatheists.

  33. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Based
    Religion is a disease

    • 2 years ago
      trannies burn in hell
      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Why are christ- and hinducucks so suicidal when compared to chad muslims? Like Buddhism makes sense; half of its adherents are atheists in denial, but what drives street shitter polytheism and Judaism 2.0 adherents to commit suicide?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Muslims have a special loophole where you commit suicide by "accident" so that you get into heaven. This skews the statistics because the arabic nations following Hadith law have to officially declare it not a suicide but an accident even though it clearly is suicide.

  34. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Why are liberals so toxic and destructive?

  35. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    You don't need to go to church to be a Christian. And the Simpsons aren't Christian, if they ever were, even when they went to church.

  36. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    convert to Islam when?

  37. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >it's a "Cinemaphile falls for a fake/outdated simpsons article" episode

  38. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    tfw Jason Voorhees/friday the 13th died as a IP before the simpsons

  39. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Season 34
    Just stop already

  40. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I havent watched the simpsons in 15 years

  41. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >rating fall below 1m viewers for the first time last season
    >respond by cutting more content and character attributes
    Just let it die already.

  42. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I don't know a single person who still watches this show after 2008, who the frick is keeping it alive? South americans?

  43. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Article from Dec 2021
    >They've clearly been to church in episodes since then
    >Cinemaphile didn't even check.
    >They don't for a moment realize they were being lied to and it got exposed by the passage of time.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      why check for proof when i can just fly into a rage

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Right wingers are snowflakes, more news at 7

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >headline says they'll stop going to church in season 34
      >season 34 hasn't aired yet
      maybe you should fricking check you dumbass

  44. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Please for the love of the God they no longer believe in, Kill this fricking show already!

  45. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Vintage Simpsons
    >have them go to church regularly as a vehicle for lampooning religion in an organic way
    Zombie Simpsons
    >make a big statement about being atheist, oblivious to why the show did it in the first place
    It's microcosm of why the show has become so atrociously bad.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Or rather current Simpsons is just the natural conclusion of the ideas implicit in vintage simpsons

  46. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >atheism
    >progressive
    lul

  47. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    holy shit who cares?

  48. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    It took 30 seasons but Homer finally won

  49. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    It's sad how I know it fake from the sub headline saying erasing religion is good as these articles wouldn't say anything to offend Islam.

  50. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Creepy and sad.

  51. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    To be fair that's been outdated for over 20 years

  52. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Isn't that like the opposite of progressive? I guess it would be too offensive to have then convert to Islam or something.

  53. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Dear Simpsons writers,
    Deuteronomy 23:1.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      who married their father's wife?

  54. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I don't think zombies are supposed to be in churches anyway

  55. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Good.
    Frick your cults you insane incels.

  56. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    doesn't Homer say "phony-baloney god" in the Simpsons movie?

  57. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >season 34
    You do realize by making a big deal out of this you're playing into Disney's hands, right? It's all outrage marketing. Go ahead and post this thread a hundred more times for epic (you)s because nobody's watching this dead show to check anyway.

  58. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    In 34 seasons they haven't attacked Judaism or Islam once, but have several anti-Christian episodes.

    Why is this?

  59. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >and what more progressive than to erase religion?
    so people can't practice religion and keep it to themselves? no, all religion must be erased, although I have a strong feeling that the writer of the article would have an issue with erasing judaism and islam

  60. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I haven't watched the Simpsons since 2008. Have they shown Lisa's bare ass yet? They've shown Bart's bare ass a hundred times.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Based nonce

  61. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Homer no! The angry skyman gonna be mad at you!

  62. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Don’t tell me any of you guys actually fell for this

  63. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Trans Bart

  64. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >It's over
    WTF they are still going?
    How even watches this anymore?

  65. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    people always say to me
    'why do I never seeing you at the church."
    I say to them
    'why do i never see you at the feed and seed"

  66. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Next up is pregnant Smithers not even kidding

  67. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Homer shouting in church made me absolutely shit myself with lols as a kid

  68. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I love the Simpsons because it's like a running documentation of the fall and decline of American culture and civilisation, watchable in real time and documented for all eternity

  69. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >season 34
    jesus can a main cast member die already

  70. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >stealing!
    >haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church
    >captain what's his name?

  71. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Homer has literally met numerous denominations Gods, there have been ghosts. how can they not believe in a higher power or the afterlife?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      The Simpsons has no continuity at all, except when there is. You know what I mean.

  72. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Do people who call themselves "progressive" not understand they are indistinguishable from an aggressive invading religious cult? It's all happened before throughout history.

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