This has never happened in real life

This has never happened in real life

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  1. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Maybe not to you, lil guy.

  2. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    if you havent fricked at least one girl the same night you met her, you're basically still a virgin

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I did, but it was so shit I still consider myself a virgin (we were both wasted)

  3. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Scrapple is a real thing, idiot

  4. 3 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      this is a common fantasy scenario, but in reality all servers want to clock the frick out and just get away from people they had to tolerate during the shift.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Not to mention how gross workshift pussy is

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          >workshift pussy
          >gross
          speak for yourself

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            >he likes the smell of day-old piss
            Everyone's got their thing, I guess.

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              if your girls pussy tastes like piss its on her

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      What kino is this?

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous
      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        anchorman

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      This was her big break in show business, never acted again. Her parents must be proud.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      The whole family got together to watch her on tv

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      This scene was so out of left field. Whose wiener did she suck to get this scene?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous
      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous
        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          god i love black women

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Was this scene really necessary

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Yes, shut up. We need more black on blackinese lesbo action

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          This is a scene of her cheating so naturally the light the scene dimly and pick a negress that looks exactly like her actual dyke accomplice in sin.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Damn they got some nice sets on them

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        At least 100% of those women are pornstars, right?

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Probably not. Pornstars make you take off your own clothes.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous
        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Imagine having a female doss

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Is he drunk? How does he not have whisky dick?

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        he's actually just mashing wet noodle dick inside her

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I would tenderly caress her mustache. Yes I'm very alone

      >[dog barks]

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      frick

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why can't I get a mid, slightly busted face, chubby mystery meat gf?
      I DESERVE THAT!

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        she's easily an 8 in todays galconomy, pal

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >writer’s barely disguised fantasy

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >that zoom-in on McNutty before the webm loops and he wakes up
      Perfection.
      Like a Groundhog Day porn parody. Slampig Day.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >(dog barking)
      YOU JUST KNOW

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      wtf is scrapple

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        second hand apple merch

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        I just looked it up:
        >Scrapple, also known by the Pennsylvania Dutch name Pannhaas, is traditionally a mush of pork scraps and trimmings combined with cornmeal and wheat flour, often buckwheat flour, and spices. The mush is formed into a semi-solid set loaf, and slices of the scrapple are then pan-fried before serving. Scraps of meat left over from butchering, not used or sold elsewhere, were made into scrapple to avoid waste.
        Fricking disgusting.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          I live in North Jersey and it is nonexistent, but in South Jersey it's everywhere. And yea it's not good.

  5. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >dirty bawds don't exist
    jej

  6. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    virginbros... we`ll never get free sex after eating eggs...

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Have you tried eating ALL the eggs?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      It’s only free if your time is worthless/ you immediately kick her out after

  7. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    It happens to main characters

  8. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >another repost of a repost of a repost
    Christ, this site has never been worse, and nobody cares

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      i think this reply is a repost

      What kino is this?

      the shield

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >the shield
        Not it isn't you homosexual. I already watch the shield and I don't remember that scene or those characters.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          watch it again

  9. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm filled with doubt, depression and constant suicidal thought, my humor is 99% self-deprecating, I think of myself as ugly and unlovable, and this has STILL happened to be at least three times.
    So the question is: Why has this never happened to YOU?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >t. Bo Burnham

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      waitress is never attractive at dennys 2 am

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        I wouldn't know, I've never been to Denny's.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        You say that because you never had to get it on.

  10. 3 months ago
    Anonymous
  11. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm tired of women. Can they stop existing in life and in movies? I'm just tired, friends. I swear, the fricking hurt and stress these beings have caused me have shaved off at least 5 years off of my lifespan.

  12. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Zoomers will never understand what it's like to have sex with a girl they didn't meet on a dating app or instagram.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      That actually makes me sad.

  13. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    she was a police groupie. she saw his gun. that's why her room is full of fireman shit.

  14. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Anything?

  15. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    looks really easy. why haven’t you done this yet, Cinemaphile?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      because I'm a coward

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I asked out my hairdresser a few weeks ago and got rejected. You're right, it is easy to do, and at least I know now.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      If we're being honest, she put 90% of the work into that interaction

  16. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    It happens all too often, OP. Every time I walk into a diner, weary from hunger, I try to order something, and it just smash cuts to me having sex with the person who was serving me. I haven't had a proper meal in years.

  17. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Reminds me of the first episode of the tv show Banshee when the just released from prison ex-con stops at a random bar for a beer. In one scene the cute bartender is checking him out and in the next scene they are fricking in the back of the bar on top of cases of liquor.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      those breasts look huge

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I didn't watch the show but I can't imagine many things get a girl wetter than saying "I just got out of prison"

  18. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    It only happens to chad

  19. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    This once actually did happen to me, I went to a restaurant, met a server, she paid for my meal and then we went out after and then fricked.

  20. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Are you an attractive cop in the throws of a depression?

  21. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    literally happened to me once

  22. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    nurses and women who work other night shift jobs are really easy to pick up if you're moderately good looking.
    I don't know what it is about the night shifts that makes them like that

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      There was this strip club I went to all the time after work to have some beers, look at breasts and sometimes get a private dance or whatever. A cute server worked there and it got the point she knew my name and was always serving me. One day I was there and asked her for another beer but she said she was about to clock out, but she would tell another server to attend me. I told her I had to go home too, then we met outside for a bit, chatted, found out she didn't live far from my place so I offered her a ride home. She asked if I still wanted another beer, I said yes, we went to my place and fricked all night long. We became fwb for a while but sort of broke it off after COVID happened, the strip club closed down and she had to move back to her hometown for a while.

  23. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    she looks like she fricks gypsies

  24. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    God I wish I wasn't ugly and taller than 176cm
    It's so fricking over I am so lonely but at this point it's impossible for me to find a gf let alone a one night stand
    life is so cruel to men

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