>Dracula was a homosexual
After a long time thinking about this line I’ve come to the conclusion that the director wanted to make fun of that (at the time) popular vampire films
See this movie is about macho werewolves
Vampire movies ? Those are for gays
The entire mythos is thinly-veiled gay metaphor but you COULD argue that it's about hetero seduction or just seduction or getting owned by evil in general but honestly it really only resonates with gays and gay hag writers like Anne Rice, hence Interview with a Vampire which is incredibly obviously gay. Glad the remake is happening that makes it explicit although Torque Noodle's posture hasn't improved much from Game of Thrones.
I thought they were thinly veiled israelite metaphors
>hate crosses >can only enter if you invite them in >drink blood (rabbis suck blood from penises) >from Eastern Europe >can't see reflection (not self aware) >satanic
the crawling eye gets overlooked because it's such an early episode (first nationally viewed) but it's great there's a beautiful female lead who looks like bjork
I love how there is stupid wolf sounds in the background of the whole fricking movie, and that the werewolf turns into like 5 different looking animals. Would frick this stupid b***h hard though
she has sex with paul and you see her butt and boobies . the full movie used to be on youtube but the dvd version has been taken down and now only the vhs version is up there and it sucks
Imagine going to bed every night to that woman and sucking on those breasts whenever you want.
>The high yella chick in Girl in Gold Boots is hotter than the sun. Incredibly sexy. She's in my top 10 MST3K chicks.
Oh damn yes. The mother from "Manos" is also top tier, but I hate that episode.
[...]
They're kind of extremes.
>They're kind of extremes.
That's kinda what I meant. They are usually not attractive, but when they are attractive, they are extremely attractive and few are between those two points.
I really wanted it to be Jesse Plemons but I think marrying out of his league wrecked him or typecasting did. He's not exactly exploding on to the screen with a psychotic twinkle in his eye the way Joe Don could.
Honestly didn't find this movie so bad. It's silly and stupid but it was actually kind of charming with how long quality it was, and the story wasn't way out moronic.
I think it was the Incredibly Strange Creatures who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Zombies with a dancer that they kept making gender jokes at. I still find it hilarious they thought she was man but I don't know if that would go today.
>Thanks for killing me and all my people. Enjoy our land
sounds exactly like the kind of passive-aggressive "muh white oppressors" quip they'd put in anything related to american indian tribes today.
I love all the goofy song and dance numbers. The "liturgical dance" from Mole People.. Teenage Strangler has become a new favorite for me recently too. >YIPE STRIPES
2 years ago
Anonymous
Mikey
Good for impersonations
2 years ago
Anonymous
>[hyper effete vamping] AND HE DIDN'T STEAL NO BIKE NEITHER
I didn't think they were being based. What you are saying is exactly how they meant it because they're typical midwestern centrist liberals with a guilty conscience. Still, you can't say shit like that today or you'll be accused of appropriating or making light of another culture's history or some nonsense.
I'm a typical midwestern centrist and we are not liberal nor do we feel guilty of anything. You might be thinking of the swedish-descent cuckolds in minnesota who gave up their cities to the somalians over the last two decades. The rest of us are descended from Germans and our ancestors had nothing to do with any of the issues that israelites try to make anglos feel guilty about in america.
That's not actually true, you just made that up out of thin air.
2 years ago
Anonymous
My statement is born out by DNA test results. People have a tendency to identify as German or whatever because it’s more interesting, but pretty much everyone has British ancestry as well, except for extremely new arrivals like the Poles.
2 years ago
Anonymous
My DNA results are literally 90% german, 6% french, and 4% welsh. ironically I don't even have a german last name, I have a french last name.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>4% welsh
SAVE ME Black personMAN
2 years ago
Anonymous
>People have a tendency to identify as German or whatever because it’s more interesting
White Americans have a tendency to identify as German because most of them are descended from Germans. They're the largest ethnic group in the US at just under 15%, with English at this point being under 8%.
I didn't think they were being based. What you are saying is exactly how they meant it because they're typical midwestern centrist liberals with a guilty conscience. Still, you can't say shit like that today or you'll be accused of appropriating or making light of another culture's history or some nonsense.
I'm a typical midwestern centrist and we are not liberal nor do we feel guilty of anything. You might be thinking of the swedish-descent cuckolds in minnesota who gave up their cities to the somalians over the last two decades. The rest of us are descended from Germans and our ancestors had nothing to do with any of the issues that israelites try to make anglos feel guilty about in america.
Yes, that's who I was thinking of. This type. Didn't mean to give offense.
Uh huh. Go be genocided somewhere else, fragile virgin.
the troonybot is broken
2 years ago
Anonymous
Which part of "go be genocided somewhere else, fragile virgin" are you having difficulty understanding?
2 years ago
Anonymous
Which part of kys mutilated homosexual are you missing?
2 years ago
Anonymous
>oh my god he pointed out my fragile virginity, h-he must be a trannie!
Pure NPC thinking.
I am more committed than you could possibly be to traditional ideals, because I have formed and tested my opinions myself and lived them, instead of just received marching orders from propaganda outlets and outrage farms like you.
You are a shivering, fragile kneejerk reactionary who just got physically angry at people on a comedy show making a joke 30 years ago about white people killing indians.
We are not the same.
2 years ago
Anonymous
[...]
the troonybot is broken
Get your homosexual asses out of my comfy mst3k thread
2 years ago
Anonymous
>I NEED MUH COMFY! >we should just let the trannies teach everyone the white race is evil
if you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem troonybot
Soultaker isn't a bad concept but if the chick who wrote it didn't insist on starring in it and directing it and it actually had a budget it might have been better.
This Island Earth, the movie they riff on for the MST3K feature film is not a bad movie. I think they were afraid of using a genuinely bad movie for their feature film.
Gor and Outlaw of Gor are films based on a reasonably well-respect series of books. They didn't have to be terrible.
Jack Frost is a beloved film among it's native audience.
Overdrawn at the Memory Bank had elements of The Matrix and other heady sci-fi concepts but it's just utterly incompetent as a movie production
Space Mutiny steals effects shots from Battlestar Galactica and has a reasonably serviceable plot but everything after that is just abysmal.
BONUS: Hobgoblins is a movie that's bad on purpose but they make fun of it anyway. I find this incredibly boring.
Not him, but sometimes if I'm at the bar and it's early and hasn't really wound up yet I'll pull out my phone for a quick scroll. not a career phoneposter though fyi
2 years ago
Anonymous
i tend to post from my room, no lights or pants on
After a few viewings I'm convinced pic related is actually kino
Also despite the shit it gets, the Final Sacrifice was basically a Canadian film students final film for his degree or something. It's actually pretty decent if that's the case.
>kino
It is. It's the one movie I discovered and watched on its own before even realizing it was an MST3K episode.
Eerily, when I was in college, there was an adult returning education student who looked a lot like Rowsdower, we worked together in the computer lab and fricked around with digicams and stuff.
I watched The Island in a movie theatre and was sitting there going "why the frick is all this so familiar". Did the screenwriter knowingly rip it off watching reruns?
To be fair there was a weird fad with cloning in sci-fi in the late 70's almost like the government was doing predictive programming on the population but the technology never actually materialized (or it did and never became public)
70s were full of movies like this. Onions Green, Logan's Run, Brave New World, all kinds of future-dystopian "weird heavily regulated social order that treats humans as less than people" warning films. No one listened.
Was the point to warn us and get us to stop it or was the point to condition us to subconsciously accept it by flaunting what they were about to do to us in our faces as thriller entertainment?
Zardoz too, kind of a different take on the theme but the same basic fears
Was the point to warn us and get us to stop it or was the point to condition us to subconsciously accept it by flaunting what they were about to do to us in our faces as thriller entertainment?
I get it anon, someone hurt you and you decided to be a huge flaming homosexual when you got up today, you've made your point. Are the ever-dwindling dopamine hits from erratic shitposting helping at all, or is the yawning cavernous void of knowing you've never actually made a post that mattered to anyone too great to span?
>The high yella chick in Girl in Gold Boots is hotter than the sun. Incredibly sexy. She's in my top 10 MST3K chicks.
Oh damn yes. The mother from "Manos" is also top tier, but I hate that episode.
>She's cute
She's gorgeous and also hot as frick. A true dime piece.
Germanic women are usually ugly but when they are attractive and hot, they are showstoppers.
It's funny how Manos and Plan 9 From Outer Space have always been considered the cult classic "worst movies ever made" but they aren't really the worst because they're shockingly awful or anything, they're both just incredibly bland and mediocre.
Mike's Torgo is amazing however and the best thing to come out of Manos, possibly exceeding the original in cultural relevance.
I have a personal grudge against Manos because of how much it's shilled. It's just a terrible movie and like you say, bland. It was painful for the show to riff on because of how much of a drudge it was. They have to watch all these movies multiple times. So, when they complained later on about how terrible it was the fans interpreted that to mean the episode must be good but it's not. It's just an ok episode of MST3K.
I completely agree. I get that it became a cult classic and they have throw back jokes, but it is SUCH a dogshit movie, that not even the riffs save it.
I remember you from the last thread. The movie sucked but the episode is still really good, not an episode I'd introduce people to the show with but funny enough it's more rewatchable than a lot of the shitty black and white movie episodes from the early seasons.
Joel yelling DO SOMETHING as the characters just awkwardly stand around is comedy gold.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>Father goes outside with a gun when the family dog barks >"Now to finally kill that damn dog"
>It's funny how Manos and Plan 9 From Outer Space have always been considered the cult classic "worst movies ever made" but they aren't really the worst because they're shockingly awful or anything, they're both just incredibly bland and mediocre.
Yeah, honestly I hated that episode of MST3K because the movie was just too bad and boring to be enjoyable. I liked the bits with the bots and the Mads but oh god... that movie was just torture. I will say that the skits were on point though.
In any case, the best episodes are the ones with great riffs and a goofy silly movie that is entertaining even if it is dumb and low budget.
Manos is a bore but I disagree about Plan 9. It's not my favorite bad movie or anything but it's got some really memorably goofy moments like the alien with his tantrum or the opening monologue from Criswell.
The girl isn't even super hot or anything, it's just that archetype of going on a road trip and meeting some country bumpkin girl in the sticks yearning for adventure and giving her the deep dick in her isolated farmstead gets me going
>The girl isn't even super hot or anything
that's what fascinates me about "mitchell" the love interest is drop-dead gorgeous but 20 years older than you'd expect her to be
Sissy whats-her-face in Space Mutiny is an odd one. You can't tell if she's old or young. She's supposed to be young and has a young woman's body but she acts like a grandma and has a grandma's face.
>Sissy whats-her-face in Space Mutiny is an odd one. You can't tell if she's old or young. She's supposed to be young and has a young woman's body but she acts like a grandma and has a grandma's face.
She was 18 or 20 when the film was made and married Reb Brown.
according to wikipedia she was born in 1954. She would have been in her 30s. Not sure why she looked like she was 50 because she looked fine in other stuff she was in .
she was hot in Baltimore Bullet (1979)
I will once again never stop waxing nostalgic about that skit from the beginning of Time Chasers where Mike sits on Pearl's porch and chats while the bots act like rambunctious kids for attention. I miss that exact experience, of all the neighborhood adults taking their evening stroll and stopping on someone's porch to shoot the breeze while all the kids gather to watch one last fun TV show together in the living room before needing to be taken home and tucked in. It saddens me to know future generations will never experience this. No one has "neighbors" anymore, just "the people who live over there".
This is what I like Joel episodes for. I watch Mike episodes more actively, love all the high quality jokes and riffs. But for Joel episodes, I have fond memories of just putting on one of those awful kaiju or japanese space movies on a lazy weekend and just lying on the couch and zoning out, maybe even dozing off a bit and having all the sounds seep into my half consciousness.
HER VOICE IS ADORABLE STOP MAKING FUN OF IT REEEEE
and yeah it's impressive they they actually made sets and a unique environment for this weirdo movie and they're not just roaming around the woods or a water treatment plant
Jackfrost I think it was called? It was some old Russian film. I liked that one a lot. I also find Time Chasers to be a pretty charismatic film. Giant Spider Invasion is also a fun, silly little movie.
Do you remember the episode where they read a letter from a guy that moved to Britain and he mentions trying to show MST3K to Brits and they don’t get the appeal? In my experience, foreigners don’t like the show. Do any non-Americans enjoy it?
t. have lived outside the US for the past 14 years
Irish, love it. I don't always get every reference, given a number of them are dated to early 90s to 80s USA, but their style of jabs without trying too hard gets me just right.
How do I go about tackling this? The episodes are inherently 90+ minutes long and there's ten seasons of them. Sure I could pick like twenty that appear on "best of" lists but I know I'll miss out on gems that way.
Well for starters the show is fairly self referential so sometimes you need to have seen the previous episodes. Then season 8 host segments is a story arc so it's intended to be seen in exact chronological order. As I understand. I actually haven't ever watched the whole season to confirm nor do I recall anything in particular which was especially lost on me. If you're looking for some kind of actual system which is what Im gathering.
Yeah, you could pick and choose random episodes from seasons this site was pretty good because it showed the popular episodes people were watching giving you some ideas on what to choose
https://web.archive.org/web/20210115054135/http://www.club-mst3k.com/
Yeah, you could pick and choose random episodes from seasons this site was pretty good because it showed the popular episodes people were watching giving you some ideas on what to choose
https://web.archive.org/web/20210115054135/http://www.club-mst3k.com/
I picked random episodes the first time I tried the show. First one was Pod People which was hilarious, second was Robot Holocaust which was boring as shit. Definitely need more direction.
Literally just watch any episodes randomly. Bounce around, it doesn't matter. There's a slightly different tone between the earlier Joel episodes and the later Mike ones but it's all good. Honestly binging everything in sequential order until you've churned through the whole series would just kind of kill it, no need to turn it into a checklist.
Well for starters the show is fairly self referential so sometimes you need to have seen the previous episodes. Then season 8 host segments is a story arc so it's intended to be seen in exact chronological order. As I understand. I actually haven't ever watched the whole season to confirm nor do I recall anything in particular which was especially lost on me. If you're looking for some kind of actual system which is what Im gathering.
Those "continuous story" host segments are so inconsequential and usually revolve around separate jokes for each segment there's really no reason to get worrying about watching them in the correct order. However the movie riffs themselves do frequently call back riffs or odd lines from previous episodes. But the great thing about MST3K is you don't need to "get" everything to enjoy it. I've been watching this show for 30 years and I still occasionally end up suddenly noticing a joke I never go before. The rewatch value is insane.
Do you like new MST3K or do you feel Joel is just milking it for all it's worth?
I will never, ever, ever touch any of that "new" garbage. NOT interested, period.
The first season is kind of weak but after that it’s fine. Just look for ones with movies that look interesting
Earlier episodes have a lot of public domain movies so they fairly boring
>they had to watch these dogshit films three times each
The first to see if it was suitable for the show, a second time specifically to come up with the riffs and ideas, and a third time to film Joel/Mike and the puppets watching it and riffing. Imagine watching The Wild Wild World of Batwoman three times.
>The first to see if it was suitable for the show
Incidentally they didn't do this for the earliest seasons, they just put it on and improv'd, or watched the start of a film to see if it seemed riffable, til The Sidehackers gave them a nasty surprise when it suddenly had a graphic rape scene and a load of violent content that had to be cut for broadcasting it on TV. If I remember the episode has swathes missing from the film they have to explain while riffing. From then on they watched all films in their entirety before deciding whether to use them on the show.
I liked the vibe of this film
It’s just too boring .
They actually did an interview with the girl in this film (now an adult). She didn’t even remember the film until her son was in college and saw MST3K.
Wish they did little interviews with people from these movies after the episodes. I’m sure most of them realize how bad the movies were and got a laugh at it. Unless the riffs were really mean (calling Space Mutiny old or Mitchell fat)
Actually a bunch of years back they found the 16mm workprint of Manos. Until then they only had a poor quality recording of it from the 1970s, which is what they used for MST3K and for broadcasts of it for decades including public domain DVD releases. So they got to do a full restoration of the film.
Based. That's what makes MST3K magical, half of it is just in the delivery. I love when it's not even a joke, they're just making "goofy midwestern people noises" doncha know. Good day for it eh?
>FRED BURROUGHS!!!! >mike laughs and tells crow “okay that’s enough”
That part always makes me laugh.
Anyways Fred was the fat black guy from the half way home at the start of the film .
a wherewilf
a warwilf?
Warwilf?
Warwick
Werewick
PAUL YOU IS A WHARWILF
>Dracula was a homosexual
After a long time thinking about this line I’ve come to the conclusion that the director wanted to make fun of that (at the time) popular vampire films
See this movie is about macho werewolves
Vampire movies ? Those are for gays
They literally are thinly-veiled gay metaphors. Not even trying to hide it now. Greyworm finna get dat WORM.
Wasn't Dracula in the original novel a serial rapist or something?
The entire mythos is thinly-veiled gay metaphor but you COULD argue that it's about hetero seduction or just seduction or getting owned by evil in general but honestly it really only resonates with gays and gay hag writers like Anne Rice, hence Interview with a Vampire which is incredibly obviously gay. Glad the remake is happening that makes it explicit although Torque Noodle's posture hasn't improved much from Game of Thrones.
I thought they were thinly veiled israelite metaphors
>hate crosses
>can only enter if you invite them in
>drink blood (rabbis suck blood from penises)
>from Eastern Europe
>can't see reflection (not self aware)
>satanic
I JUST FOUND OUT DRACULA WAS A homosexual
Any other good MST3K episodes for the fall?
Samson vs the vampire women
Zombie nightmare
Night of the Bloodbeast
Off the top of my head. Anything s2 - s10 is going to be a fun watch. I prefer the Bealiou years (first Crow)
Also,
NO MATCHES FOR MIKEY
legend of boggy creek 2
squirm
touch of satan
The thing that couldn't die
the crawling eye gets overlooked because it's such an early episode (first nationally viewed) but it's great there's a beautiful female lead who looks like bjork
Has anon ever slept like a coyote, nose to anus?
I don't normally recommend the kaiju episodes of MST3K but this is kino
Worth it for the hello thank you scene alone. Gamera is kino
kek forgot about this one.
For me it's Prince of Space
>crank prostitute?
>What a powerful beam he must have!
>Thank you~
fricking kek
>prince of space
We like it very much.
HELLO AND THANK YOU!
I don't think I ever payed that close attention to this scene before, I just watched it and giggled like a moron
>Sonic adventure 2.webm
Dictator for life , Santa Claus
KNEW HIM?
HE WAS DELICIOUS!
I wonder if there's beer on the sun...
the frick was this guy's problem? Is Canada really that bad?
Dressing up like that and larping in the woods is about all there is to do in Canada.
Yeah but you might find a lost civilization
Watching this episode on a rainy Saturday morning is peak comfy
Are you me? Caught that when I was 8 years old on a Saturday morning
Canadian villain Garth Vader
He looks like a more handsome Jaws
Want me to sing you something off bone machine?
Oooooo
I love how there is stupid wolf sounds in the background of the whole fricking movie, and that the werewolf turns into like 5 different looking animals. Would frick this stupid b***h hard though
I know the unedited movie has the sex scene with her.
Tell me of this scene.
she has sex with paul and you see her butt and boobies . the full movie used to be on youtube but the dvd version has been taken down and now only the vhs version is up there and it sucks
AZ nudity has a clip and some screenshots. It's not a long scene. Typical only slightly risque sex scene with some nudity. Adrianna Miles.
She's cute. She and that realtor were damn hot. God, the legs on that realtor.
>She's cute
She's gorgeous and also hot as frick. A true dime piece.
Germanic women are usually ugly but when they are attractive and hot, they are showstoppers.
>Poll you is a warwulhf!
Yeah if I was zooming the camera into those I wouldn't care about a second take either
Imagine going to bed every night to that woman and sucking on those breasts whenever you want.
>They're kind of extremes.
That's kinda what I meant. They are usually not attractive, but when they are attractive, they are extremely attractive and few are between those two points.
She looks good nude
God her breasts were so dynamite in the pool hall scene
Me in the middle
Not just an impossibly great rack but a beautiful smile too
Lol I love when they wear the stupid costumes in the theater
I bet she had pretty feet when this film was made
You guys watch Joe Don Baker movies?
heh
ahaha the fricking tagline for this film
>werewolf
>nemesis
...Any other Adriana Miles kinos?
Bros seriously frick Satoris
oh rowsdower
Mitchell would seriously frick up Rowsdower.
who is the modern day Joe Don Baker?
I really wanted it to be Jesse Plemons but I think marrying out of his league wrecked him or typecasting did. He's not exactly exploding on to the screen with a psychotic twinkle in his eye the way Joe Don could.
>You better run!
>Or he'll steal your lunch
>You better hide!
>Your luuuunch
>You better run!
>'Cus he's got the runs
>Because he won't stop 'till he gets his man!
>Or your luuuuuuuuuuuunch
>Eat eat eat eat eat
>Munch munch munch munch munch
>Chew chew chew chew chew
>Pork chops, creme puffs, candy bars
>Pizzas, cheetos, malamars
>HE WON'T STOP TILL HE EATS IT ALL!
>Gimmie seconds baby, you gonna FINISH THAT?
based Joe Don poster
MITCHELL!
Can I have another meal?
>tfw mike and joe don once stayed at the same hotel and mike hid from him the entire time
I'm always amazed by the fact Final Justice was NOT directed by an italian man.
Probably some sissy Maltese "man"
Honestly didn't find this movie so bad. It's silly and stupid but it was actually kind of charming with how long quality it was, and the story wasn't way out moronic.
*how low quality
Our hero, a big stinky cheater
Rowsdower was just a drunk drifter ex-henchman. Mitchell, meanwhile, was a stone-cold hard ass with a badge.
>It's a sex film!
this seems like an actual hollywood movie. sure its not good but its better than most of the z-grade films they have on MST3k
Mitchell is probably a top 5 episode. If for nothing else the passing of the torch
>tfw DOING THINGS
YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME?
Is that stud coming?
>ok stop, everyone go up a shirt size
>People say rack to me a lot
>biker dude knocks the pool cue over and they just keep rolling
Give Chubby Ramone a break, he's trying to sink a ball.
THE CHEEZBALL'S GOT NO FREAKIN CLASS
There's so much to love in Prince of Space but the heavily New York Italian-accented kids get me every time
HE'S GOT SOME STONES TA MESS WITH ME
WE LIKE IT VERY MUCH!
>Mike: Hey, it's the angel Sitting Bull
>Tom: Thanks for killing me and all my people. Enjoy our land
They could never get away with so many of the riffs today.
>They could never get away with so many of the riffs today.
>HELGEN IS MY BLACK FRIEND!
>> daddy I'm dating a Black
I think it was the Incredibly Strange Creatures who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Zombies with a dancer that they kept making gender jokes at. I still find it hilarious they thought she was man but I don't know if that would go today.
>Thanks for killing me and all my people. Enjoy our land
sounds exactly like the kind of passive-aggressive "muh white oppressors" quip they'd put in anything related to american indian tribes today.
Yeah, any of the gay jokes are way more likely not to make it compared to that
Shit let alone the 1000 Trans jokes in this one
Start at 10:50
I find the handsome lady dancer attractive and I'm not going to pretend I don't.
>little sizzler
lol this is a good episode haven't watched it in a bit has Rifftrax also stopped any risqué jokes to tame it down
Incredibly Strange Creatures is fricking hilarious. It's one of the criminally overlooked episodes.
>you get your Schick out of shape
I like it, too, but it doesn’t get mentioned very much.
I love all the goofy song and dance numbers. The "liturgical dance" from Mole People.. Teenage Strangler has become a new favorite for me recently too.
>YIPE STRIPES
Mikey
Good for impersonations
>[hyper effete vamping] AND HE DIDN'T STEAL NO BIKE NEITHER
>YOU DIRTY FILTHY PEEG!
This movie unironically taught me to not frick around with strange gypsy fortune tellers
Good. You’ll be prepared if you ever visit Europe.
I've rewatched many an episode but I don't think I saw this more than once. I'll watch it tonight.
I didn't think they were being based. What you are saying is exactly how they meant it because they're typical midwestern centrist liberals with a guilty conscience. Still, you can't say shit like that today or you'll be accused of appropriating or making light of another culture's history or some nonsense.
I'm a typical midwestern centrist and we are not liberal nor do we feel guilty of anything. You might be thinking of the swedish-descent cuckolds in minnesota who gave up their cities to the somalians over the last two decades. The rest of us are descended from Germans and our ancestors had nothing to do with any of the issues that israelites try to make anglos feel guilty about in america.
Yes, that's who I was thinking of. This type. Didn't mean to give offense.
>The rest of us are descended from Germans
No you aren’t. You have a German last name from on or two ancestors but the rest are British.
That's not actually true, you just made that up out of thin air.
My statement is born out by DNA test results. People have a tendency to identify as German or whatever because it’s more interesting, but pretty much everyone has British ancestry as well, except for extremely new arrivals like the Poles.
My DNA results are literally 90% german, 6% french, and 4% welsh. ironically I don't even have a german last name, I have a french last name.
>4% welsh
SAVE ME Black personMAN
>People have a tendency to identify as German or whatever because it’s more interesting
White Americans have a tendency to identify as German because most of them are descended from Germans. They're the largest ethnic group in the US at just under 15%, with English at this point being under 8%.
Self-identify.
You are the most fragile homosexuals ever born.
>i take everything online literally and perceive it to have serious social consequences
This is why you get bullied here, anon.
Uh huh, go be genocided somewhere else, fragile virgin.
the homosexual doth protest too much, methinks
the troonybot is broken
Which part of "go be genocided somewhere else, fragile virgin" are you having difficulty understanding?
Which part of kys mutilated homosexual are you missing?
>oh my god he pointed out my fragile virginity, h-he must be a trannie!
Pure NPC thinking.
I am more committed than you could possibly be to traditional ideals, because I have formed and tested my opinions myself and lived them, instead of just received marching orders from propaganda outlets and outrage farms like you.
You are a shivering, fragile kneejerk reactionary who just got physically angry at people on a comedy show making a joke 30 years ago about white people killing indians.
We are not the same.
Get your homosexual asses out of my comfy mst3k thread
>I NEED MUH COMFY!
>we should just let the trannies teach everyone the white race is evil
if you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem troonybot
redditroony moment
Uh huh. Go be genocided somewhere else, fragile virgin.
Her English is pretty well.
YURI WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?
WHERE OH WHERE WOLF
WHERE IS MY WERE-WOLF?
There's a LOT of Bruce Jenner jokes throughout the run of MST3K.
What were some movies that, with a better budget or direction, could've been actual kino?
For me, it's Parts. At least they got their due sticking it to Michael Bay 30 years later.
Soultaker isn't a bad concept but if the chick who wrote it didn't insist on starring in it and directing it and it actually had a budget it might have been better.
Robert Z'Dar. Lol
The first time I actually heard his voice was in this movie. Suffice to say it came as a bit of a surprise.
Your dead Nancy Carrigan
>What were some movies that, with a better budget or direction, could've been actual kino?
That one obviously. Space Mutiny is a cool premise.
This Island Earth, the movie they riff on for the MST3K feature film is not a bad movie. I think they were afraid of using a genuinely bad movie for their feature film.
Gor and Outlaw of Gor are films based on a reasonably well-respect series of books. They didn't have to be terrible.
Jack Frost is a beloved film among it's native audience.
Overdrawn at the Memory Bank had elements of The Matrix and other heady sci-fi concepts but it's just utterly incompetent as a movie production
Space Mutiny steals effects shots from Battlestar Galactica and has a reasonably serviceable plot but everything after that is just abysmal.
BONUS: Hobgoblins is a movie that's bad on purpose but they make fun of it anyway. I find this incredibly boring.
This island earth is endlessly rewatchable and usually the one I use to introduce people to the show. It's really hilarious the whole way through.
Another good example is The Magic Sword. I'm sure I could enjoy that movie even without the riffs
>You will never own an interocitor
This actually made me interrupt the conversation I was in laughing. Thank you man
You browse Cinemaphile whilst talking to people?
Not him, but sometimes if I'm at the bar and it's early and hasn't really wound up yet I'll pull out my phone for a quick scroll.
not a career phoneposter though fyi
i tend to post from my room, no lights or pants on
Well yes. I love this thread and am monitoring while drinking with buds in the garage
>Mad Max meets Knight Rider meets Nazi Germany
>starring Illia from Star Trek TMP and Donald Pleasance
Warrior of the Lost World could have been kino.
?t=635
>Megaweapon
F
After a few viewings I'm convinced pic related is actually kino
Also despite the shit it gets, the Final Sacrifice was basically a Canadian film students final film for his degree or something. It's actually pretty decent if that's the case.
>kino
It is. It's the one movie I discovered and watched on its own before even realizing it was an MST3K episode.
Eerily, when I was in college, there was an adult returning education student who looked a lot like Rowsdower, we worked together in the computer lab and fricked around with digicams and stuff.
I watched The Island in a movie theatre and was sitting there going "why the frick is all this so familiar". Did the screenwriter knowingly rip it off watching reruns?
You are now aware that the greatest living novelist Kazuo Ishiguro ripped this off for Never Let Me Go.
To be fair there was a weird fad with cloning in sci-fi in the late 70's almost like the government was doing predictive programming on the population but the technology never actually materialized (or it did and never became public)
70s were full of movies like this. Onions Green, Logan's Run, Brave New World, all kinds of future-dystopian "weird heavily regulated social order that treats humans as less than people" warning films. No one listened.
>Onions Green
oh for frick's sake
how many more decades is this idiocy going to continue
2022 jannies still seething
Was the point to warn us and get us to stop it or was the point to condition us to subconsciously accept it by flaunting what they were about to do to us in our faces as thriller entertainment?
>condition us to subconsciously accept it
Take meds.
*yawn*
You will never be a pharmacist.
better start filtering more people bud
What are you having a meltdown over now? Please tell me how words on the internet hurt you today.
take it easy there, bud. munch a xanax.
Zardoz too, kind of a different take on the theme but the same basic fears
Try a little harder
>basic fears
awww cry harder homosexual
I get it anon, someone hurt you and you decided to be a huge flaming homosexual when you got up today, you've made your point. Are the ever-dwindling dopamine hits from erratic shitposting helping at all, or is the yawning cavernous void of knowing you've never actually made a post that mattered to anyone too great to span?
Meds. Now.
Yes, he did they even tried to sue and probably lost. Didn't Family Guy have a gag about clonus in the first two seasons?
I'M BACK
inb4 muh pretty mind
The high yella chick in Girl in Gold Boots is hotter than the sun. Incredibly sexy. She's in my top 10 MST3K chicks.
>The high yella chick in Girl in Gold Boots is hotter than the sun. Incredibly sexy. She's in my top 10 MST3K chicks.
Oh damn yes. The mother from "Manos" is also top tier, but I hate that episode.
They're kind of extremes.
It's funny how Manos and Plan 9 From Outer Space have always been considered the cult classic "worst movies ever made" but they aren't really the worst because they're shockingly awful or anything, they're both just incredibly bland and mediocre.
Mike's Torgo is amazing however and the best thing to come out of Manos, possibly exceeding the original in cultural relevance.
I have a personal grudge against Manos because of how much it's shilled. It's just a terrible movie and like you say, bland. It was painful for the show to riff on because of how much of a drudge it was. They have to watch all these movies multiple times. So, when they complained later on about how terrible it was the fans interpreted that to mean the episode must be good but it's not. It's just an ok episode of MST3K.
I completely agree. I get that it became a cult classic and they have throw back jokes, but it is SUCH a dogshit movie, that not even the riffs save it.
I remember you from the last thread. The movie sucked but the episode is still really good, not an episode I'd introduce people to the show with but funny enough it's more rewatchable than a lot of the shitty black and white movie episodes from the early seasons.
Joel yelling DO SOMETHING as the characters just awkwardly stand around is comedy gold.
>Father goes outside with a gun when the family dog barks
>"Now to finally kill that damn dog"
>It's funny how Manos and Plan 9 From Outer Space have always been considered the cult classic "worst movies ever made" but they aren't really the worst because they're shockingly awful or anything, they're both just incredibly bland and mediocre.
Yeah, honestly I hated that episode of MST3K because the movie was just too bad and boring to be enjoyable. I liked the bits with the bots and the Mads but oh god... that movie was just torture. I will say that the skits were on point though.
In any case, the best episodes are the ones with great riffs and a goofy silly movie that is entertaining even if it is dumb and low budget.
Manos is a bore but I disagree about Plan 9. It's not my favorite bad movie or anything but it's got some really memorably goofy moments like the alien with his tantrum or the opening monologue from Criswell.
I liked the girl from teenagers from outer space
Is that Morticia Addams?
That's Dawn Bender.
Morticia Addams was played by Carolyn Jones
>that pose and suit
>YARE YARE, KONO ONNA
It's funny how much 1980s Japanese stylism was influenced by the 1960s US.
For me, it's the Touch of Satan.
The girl isn't even super hot or anything, it's just that archetype of going on a road trip and meeting some country bumpkin girl in the sticks yearning for adventure and giving her the deep dick in her isolated farmstead gets me going
coincidentally, another one where booba is shown
>The girl isn't even super hot or anything
that's what fascinates me about "mitchell" the love interest is drop-dead gorgeous but 20 years older than you'd expect her to be
IS THAT GRASS? LET'S GET YOUR COAT
Someone start a /mst3k/ classic general. That's what the world needs
Sissy whats-her-face in Space Mutiny is an odd one. You can't tell if she's old or young. She's supposed to be young and has a young woman's body but she acts like a grandma and has a grandma's face.
imagine being the extra in your underwear wrapped in saran wrap
Old. People used to take care of their bodies but did not yet have the surgeries and treatments we now have for faces.
>Sissy whats-her-face in Space Mutiny is an odd one. You can't tell if she's old or young. She's supposed to be young and has a young woman's body but she acts like a grandma and has a grandma's face.
She was 18 or 20 when the film was made and married Reb Brown.
according to wikipedia she was born in 1954. She would have been in her 30s. Not sure why she looked like she was 50 because she looked fine in other stuff she was in .
she was hot in Baltimore Bullet (1979)
She's younger than blast hardcheese (I think it was his wife)
They got married in real life.
Maybe it’s the hair or make up but she was early 30s in this
She looked like a hot 50’year old.
Didn't Joe Don Baker seethe about them mocking Mitchell? So they found another shitty Baker movie to riff and annoy him even more
"He thinks I'm a pallet!"
Whatever happened to the Cinemaphile streams where we would watch these
justin tv got bought by google because they were also twitch tv and then completely blasted into the deleted zone
Joel was the only good test subject, after him the magic fizzled.
That is the opposite of what happened.
Yes and no.
Trace and Mike together were the best episodes hands down.
Joel was always great and funny in his holsome paternal way to the bots
I will once again never stop waxing nostalgic about that skit from the beginning of Time Chasers where Mike sits on Pearl's porch and chats while the bots act like rambunctious kids for attention. I miss that exact experience, of all the neighborhood adults taking their evening stroll and stopping on someone's porch to shoot the breeze while all the kids gather to watch one last fun TV show together in the living room before needing to be taken home and tucked in. It saddens me to know future generations will never experience this. No one has "neighbors" anymore, just "the people who live over there".
>Hey Art
Yeah, but we're diverse now so it's fine.
?t=130
Part of the reason I find MST3K relaxing is that I remember watching it on Saturday mornings with my parents and my sister.
This is what I like Joel episodes for. I watch Mike episodes more actively, love all the high quality jokes and riffs. But for Joel episodes, I have fond memories of just putting on one of those awful kaiju or japanese space movies on a lazy weekend and just lying on the couch and zoning out, maybe even dozing off a bit and having all the sounds seep into my half consciousness.
You're welcome.
Wärwulf?
>Kathy Ireland: Why'd ya even go out with me in the first place?
>Mike: Because i'm turned-on by squeeze toys
Alien from L.A. is criminally underrated kino
?t=484
HER VOICE IS ADORABLE STOP MAKING FUN OF IT REEEEE
and yeah it's impressive they they actually made sets and a unique environment for this weirdo movie and they're not just roaming around the woods or a water treatment plant
You should watch Electric Boogaloo: the Cannon Pictures Story.
WATCH OUT FOR SNAKES
Why was there an oven in the living room?
STEMLO
Hmmm, power up the death ray.
MITCHELL
I swear if I click hide on this one off topic political bullshit post and half the thread disappears I'm going to be annoyed.
>It did
Of course.
>club-mst3k website is down
Did those jerks at shout factory finally get him? They really want me to buy their overpriced DVDs huh?
>KEEP TRADING THE TAPES
ha ha yeah right
Chaaaaarge!
What movies on the show did you actually enjoy on their own merits? Sword and the Dragon was genuinely good.
Jackfrost I think it was called? It was some old Russian film. I liked that one a lot. I also find Time Chasers to be a pretty charismatic film. Giant Spider Invasion is also a fun, silly little movie.
Moon Zero Two is groovy.
Sword and the Dragon (Ilya Muromets)
IMDB - According to Mosfilm, this production used 106,000 extras and 11,000 horses.
I wonder what The Band that Played California Lady is doing right now.
Acoustic Cafe with Rob Reinhart.
For me it's Puma Man. Worst capeshit film ever.
He flies like a moron!
He smells like an onion
When.. you want.. the flavor of bacon in a dip
I am Pleasance and I am funky
Pewma Man
I think you mean the Pumaman
He has the power to project major cities.
And I am an Onion.
DIE ANT, DIE!
Get the hell outta here!
LEAVE THE BRONX
>Vadinho: Jump!
>Puma Man: But I'll be killed!
>Crow: Jump. And then get killed.
It's the dumb, simple riffs that are the funniest to me.
Hungry or thoughtful? You decide.
>PUT IT ON
>(puts the belt on)
>HAHAHA no seriously you look great
>You are Puma Man
>But I don't want to be!
PUMA MAN!
The idea of Vadinho wandering around the city throwing people he thinks MIGHT be pumaman off of roofs is too much for my brain to handle.
The The Eye Creatures
?t=4294
Do you remember the episode where they read a letter from a guy that moved to Britain and he mentions trying to show MST3K to Brits and they don’t get the appeal? In my experience, foreigners don’t like the show. Do any non-Americans enjoy it?
t. have lived outside the US for the past 14 years
Yeah I’m British and never found it funny. It’s just like Reddit humor for me
Irish, love it. I don't always get every reference, given a number of them are dated to early 90s to 80s USA, but their style of jabs without trying too hard gets me just right.
now you the worm face
A permanent addition to my vernacular over very many years is
>Oh look a new outlet fer muh rage
How do I go about tackling this? The episodes are inherently 90+ minutes long and there's ten seasons of them. Sure I could pick like twenty that appear on "best of" lists but I know I'll miss out on gems that way.
Well for starters the show is fairly self referential so sometimes you need to have seen the previous episodes. Then season 8 host segments is a story arc so it's intended to be seen in exact chronological order. As I understand. I actually haven't ever watched the whole season to confirm nor do I recall anything in particular which was especially lost on me. If you're looking for some kind of actual system which is what Im gathering.
Yeah, you could pick and choose random episodes from seasons this site was pretty good because it showed the popular episodes people were watching giving you some ideas on what to choose
https://web.archive.org/web/20210115054135/http://www.club-mst3k.com/
I picked random episodes the first time I tried the show. First one was Pod People which was hilarious, second was Robot Holocaust which was boring as shit. Definitely need more direction.
Literally just watch any episodes randomly. Bounce around, it doesn't matter. There's a slightly different tone between the earlier Joel episodes and the later Mike ones but it's all good. Honestly binging everything in sequential order until you've churned through the whole series would just kind of kill it, no need to turn it into a checklist.
Those "continuous story" host segments are so inconsequential and usually revolve around separate jokes for each segment there's really no reason to get worrying about watching them in the correct order. However the movie riffs themselves do frequently call back riffs or odd lines from previous episodes. But the great thing about MST3K is you don't need to "get" everything to enjoy it. I've been watching this show for 30 years and I still occasionally end up suddenly noticing a joke I never go before. The rewatch value is insane.
I will never, ever, ever touch any of that "new" garbage. NOT interested, period.
The ten years between Mitchell and finale justice Joe Don Baker got really fat
MITCHELL
Do you like new MST3K or do you feel Joel is just milking it for all it's worth?
Total milkjob, also I think he's pissed Rifftrax was more popular
I liked the new episodes well enough . The occasional girl host isn’t as bad as I assumed
The two mads are the worst part
Apparently they recently brought back Joel and Mary Jo permanently.
No, especially with the nerd bait casting with Felicia Day and wife killer comedian.
Old MST knew how to lightly pander to their virginal nerd audience while also occasionally dunking on them.
this homie really named
>Zap
>Rowsdower
>a real Canadian hero
Wonder why the director was so mad about MST3k goofing on his film. At least hobgoblin guy thought it was funny
HE WAS DELICIOUS!
MCCLOUD?
PACKERS WON THE SUPER BOWL WOOO!
PACKERS YEAH WOOOOO
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBAAAAALL
>Now yer gettin' horny, great.
The first season is kind of weak but after that it’s fine. Just look for ones with movies that look interesting
Earlier episodes have a lot of public domain movies so they fairly boring
>considered the worst film they have ever seen
Too bad they didn’t riff it.
They just meant offensive because of the underage nudity etc.
If you just take the skinny dipping scene out the movie would have been good for riffing though the general theme of child brides is pretty offensive
Why does she look like 48?
CROOOOOOOW
>I'm different!
>Steve Tyler!
>AAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWH
>they had to watch these dogshit films three times each
The first to see if it was suitable for the show, a second time specifically to come up with the riffs and ideas, and a third time to film Joel/Mike and the puppets watching it and riffing. Imagine watching The Wild Wild World of Batwoman three times.
>The first to see if it was suitable for the show
Incidentally they didn't do this for the earliest seasons, they just put it on and improv'd, or watched the start of a film to see if it seemed riffable, til The Sidehackers gave them a nasty surprise when it suddenly had a graphic rape scene and a load of violent content that had to be cut for broadcasting it on TV. If I remember the episode has swathes missing from the film they have to explain while riffing. From then on they watched all films in their entirety before deciding whether to use them on the show.
This thread is missing something. Could use more >beans
>corn
>chicken
>carrots
>.......onions
Pancakes
PAUL IS NOT PAUL ANYMORE
DO SOMETHING
I liked the vibe of this film
It’s just too boring .
They actually did an interview with the girl in this film (now an adult). She didn’t even remember the film until her son was in college and saw MST3K.
Wish they did little interviews with people from these movies after the episodes. I’m sure most of them realize how bad the movies were and got a laugh at it. Unless the riffs were really mean (calling Space Mutiny old or Mitchell fat)
Marlins Shop of Mystical Wonders is the funniest shit ever and possibly the best ep. God damn Netflix for taking down the old eps.
Tubi's got a lot of them
Someone should start doing some AI upscaling of MST3K episodes. We need Manos in 4K
not sure if we do
Actually a bunch of years back they found the 16mm workprint of Manos. Until then they only had a poor quality recording of it from the 1970s, which is what they used for MST3K and for broadcasts of it for decades including public domain DVD releases. So they got to do a full restoration of the film.
Just tending the incubator, mommy.
>cultural reference
>don't get it
>still laugh
Based. That's what makes MST3K magical, half of it is just in the delivery. I love when it's not even a joke, they're just making "goofy midwestern people noises" doncha know. Good day for it eh?
Well by their batting average, it was probably a funny reference
>asian character appears in movie
>"Ancient chinese secret, HUH?"
>FRED BURROUGHS!!!!
>mike laughs and tells crow “okay that’s enough”
That part always makes me laugh.
Anyways Fred was the fat black guy from the half way home at the start of the film .