By far. Like holy shit.
>dozens of plotholes
>Virgin births
>le take over the world plot
>people don't just kill the dinosaurs
>can't even nostalgia bait properly.
>uses black lady oc instead of someone like Billy or Tim
>disjointed plot that feels like tiny episodes of a series and not a movie
>dinos
kino
>dinos fighting
kino
>explosions
kino
>death by dino
kino
>real dinos hired
kino
midwits kill all joy
>we are gonna take over the world with evil Dino Bugs
It didn't have enough dinos or explosions, too much nostalgia bait and human drama and locusts. It was also poorly written. The movie isn't good if you only enjoy the moments they will clip and post onto YouTube in 5 months
>It didn't have enough dinos or explosions
Just saw it, there are dinos all over this movie you lying frick
There aren't. Not in any satisfying, meaningful, or cool ways. They are barely set dressing.
>there aren't dinosaurs!!!
>yes, there are
>yeah well... those don't count!
frick you and your goalposts
Cope cape shiter!!! You will never have wet Bryce Dallas Howard in your film.
I liked when it pimp slapped the deer
she was one of the best parts of the movie. I wish she was my wife
The locusts bros were the best part about the whole film, those little homies even broke out of their holocaust chamber and set the whole place on fire. I miss those little homies like you wouldnt believe
I like the part where they were resistant to industrial flame weapons and strong enough to shatter protective glass.
I set an entire ant colony on fire yesterday and saw them burn up instantly so I kinda shook my head when I saw them somehow fly off on fire
>too much nostalgia bait
The barbosol can and rand dilophosaurus out of nowhere because muh Nedry reference was too far for me.
I would really like to know just how Dodson got that fricking can back.
Nedry hit a random fricking tree in the middle of a hurricane, rolled down the side of a hill, got killed by the dilophosaurus, the can fell out of his coat and roll further down the hill before getting buried in mud on an island overrun my murder dinos.
How in the actual frick did anyone recover that can?
Didn't the Mexican lady find the can in the Xbox game and bring it back?
I wouldn't know, I've never owned any of the xbox consoles and the only JP game I've played was on the SNES I think.
I was wondering how he got the barbasol can back. I think it had been forgotten in the mud on Isla Nubla in JP1. It almost feel like JPIII had a better plot than this one.
That's not the same barbasol can and it serves no purpose other than a cheap reference to the original movie
>putting 6 before 4 unironically
It didn't have any of that. Obvious, desperate shill.
Are you a 10 year old?
Yes
It didn’t have any of that. The good guys survive anything and everything dinosaur that attacks them. They all have plot armor.
Also, the majority of the movie is a locusts.
Yeah. Those scenes where the character holds up their hands against the dinosaurs are so epic.
You didn't watch the movie
>Just accept the joy, goyim!
Based shit eater.
>>real dinos hired
>Midtwit
gaytwit Mediterranean Scum.
Based. Movie was crap but far more enjoyable than most of Marvel
Based, made the plebbitors seethe
More proof, as if it were needed, that midwit is a term used solely by brainlets trying to elevate themselves by implication
Holy fricking based. OP is BTFO once and for all. I also enjoyed my dinosaur kino.
I'm told maisie shows up a lot so it can't be that bad
She's jesus btw. She's a virgin birth and her genes cure cancer.
Absolutely based
dunno why Cinemaphile isn't all over this flick tbh, don't they know about maisie?
Cinemaphile has shit taste
Her character sucks.
I feel like she should have mostly lost her accent if she only had 2 americans to talk to for several years.
You'd be surprised. I'm American born, but I have a Welsh accent from my immigrant dad. Even when I didn't live with him or regularly talk to him, I had it.
Sucks my dick like a champ you mean
>needing the blood of christ to cure cancer
literally just stop eating processed food and do intermittent fasting.
As long as it doesn’t have any stupid gymnastics shit it’s already better than Jurassic park 2.
Seething
Guys, serious question: what did dinosaurs actually look like? And what’s with all the feathers they’ve been adding to Dinos lately.
Nobody really knows. But carnivores likely had feathers and looked more like birds of prey. They were a common relative to both birds and reptiles, but were not either of those things.
>likely
frick off
Dinosaurs don't exist. Everything in museums is fabricated.
Depends. A lot of dinosaurs had scales of different shapes and sizes. pterasaurs had little fiber feathers. Some dinosaurs like different ceratopsians had fibers or actual quills. Dinosaurs like gallimimus and similar were literally birds. Big ostriches. Ornothomimus or whatever it's called is literally named for looking so much like an ostrich. Some therapods had feathers, some had scales. Some had both.
The t-rex family is very fluffy which is why there's such a big debate about feathers. We're pretty sure the babies had feathers and adults had super light scattered little fiber strands. Kind of like how an elephant can be fully bald but sometimes has little tiny hairs sprinkled around
>We're pretty sure the babies had feathers and adults had super light scattered little fiber strands
no. there is literally zero proof of this and no precedent for it in the history of life on earth/
There Is a pick that show how common Animals like rabbits, swans, zebras and hippos would had looked like if reconstructed by palentologists only by their fossils, resultinf in creepy daemonic things that look more like Chubacabras
Fossils dont take count of fat storage position and parts of the body that dosent survive fossilization. So the skeleton can only give us a partial idea
You can look at muscle and other attachment sites dude. Hippos would have been reconstructed fairly accurately with modern scans of tendon sites and such. No need for extreme speculation.
Why do the renditions squealing "le plotholes" never explain where these potholes are?
Whenever someone mentions anything about "plotholes" it's because they weren't paying attention when the movie explained it.
sorry, captain jack, people love dinosaurs more than planes
They definitely don't. Especially not after how stupid and poor Fallen Kingdom was. Jurassic Park/World is tired and stale franchise. It's over and could not have been less out of steam than Dominion. Nobody is enjoying this shit.
They clearly don't considering this flick is making less than Top Gun lmao
That ONE recruiting station thought "god damn, we can't get a single fricking dude to enlist and we gotta make numbers for the month. Let's hang around the movie theater and see if people wanna sign up." and midwit leftists think "AHHHHHH THEY WANT LIVE BABIES TO GROW UP TO BE DEAD SOLDIERS! JINGOISM!" When it's literally just Navy recruiters trying to do their job (which is one of the most stressful jobs in the military)
>t. US Marine veteran with friends on recruiting duty.
if i see them i'll buy them tickets to jurassic world, let them take the day off for serving our country
It's such a clusterfrick
>How did 30 max dinosaurs suddenly breed so much in a few years that they're around the entire world?
>Someone really hates the Rex, because not only is she a complete shade of her former self, but that's the third time in JP movies that a Rex gets its ass kicked. She simply has no presense anymore either.
>YOU WANNA SEE SOME FRICKIN DINOSAURS?? It's one unbelievable grand chase scene to the next. There's zero build up. Jurassic Park was so good because it had actualy build up
>You never believe any of the good guys are in danger.
>The chase scene on the bike is such a dogshit part of the movie. How many times did the Raptors almost hit Owen? 20 times? If not more.
>Too many memberberries callbacks to the first one. Member this? Member that?
>Black person communications guy is a super genius for no reason other than he's black
>British c**t's mom of course had to have such a super genius intellect that not even Wu could reach
>Sassy black guy has to say she's gay 5 seconds after escaping from a dinosaur because the guy she just met might die in the next encounter and then he wouldn't know
>An Allosaurus and Carnotaur are released on the black market and start killing people. It gives us the worst shot in the entire JP history: Bunch of dudes watching and cheering on 2 guys who are fighting in a pit, while 2 big carnivores are literally 10 feet behind them killing people.
>Owen has to put up his hand in every scene.
>Black scientist guy from previous movie somehow landed a job at the CIA and says he doesn't have the capabilities to work anywhere else if this fails. Buddy, if you got in the CIA, you can get in anywhere. He also has complete access to any files the CIA has. And finds a guy through a description Owen gives when he saw that dude from 500 feet away.
>The encounter with the Giga is such a dogshit scene with 0 tension. It moves incredible slow and his vision isn't even based on movement, he's just plain blind.
>Villain is such a cartoon guy and has absolutely 0 motives
>They gave Sattler the biggest role out of the 3 for no reason other than she's a woman. She also looks like Laura Derp instead of Dern. Botox fricked up her eyes.
>Henry Wu is suddenly a good guy now, while he's been the most interesting villain they had so far.
>Dinosaurs running around like that would never happen irl. Every single one of them would've been rounded up or killed.
>There's a plethora of cringe dialogue
>They paid an absurd amount of money (referenced multiple times) to catch the girl and baby raptor, but somehow she gets to be alone in a room with ZERO security and immediately escapes.
>That fricking scene with Ian doing his lecture and the camera showing only black people and asians listening, as the next bright generation.
>Where was the T-rex scene with the cinema in open air? Where was the 65 million years ago scene?
>They should've called this Locust World: Dominion, because the movie isn't about dinosaurs anymore but giant grashoppers.
>CIA team gets shredded to pieces because instead of shooting the dinosaurs they just stare at them.
>Ian isn't Ian anymore. Sam looked like he hated being there. He also contributed absolutely nothing to the movie. Not a single word of dinosaur advice. Not a single thought about the current situation out of him.
was the T-rex scene with the cinema in open air? Where was the 65 million years ago scene?
holy shit they actually cut those out?
Wasn't that scene with the rex at the drive in from the end of Fallen Kingdom anyway?
FK ends with the lion/Trex moronic shot.
Yeah not him but that disappointed me the most. I thought it would have a Disney Dinosaur 2000 tier opening
it's not part of the movie it's a youtube video
It's a short film
>That fricking scene with Ian doing his lecture and the camera showing only black people and asians listening, as the next bright generation.
That was hilarious to me. When they showed the closeups i was expecting at least one white person but no. Also the only white males where both really gay and onions looking. One guy was wearing earrings and the other was a fat gay in a gay outfit. Why do they hate us so much anons?
And it's still miles better than Fallen Kingdom and JP3. It felt like a sequel to a movie we didn't get to see, cuz yeah it makes no sense following up on FK. And it was a story that didn't need to be told but it wasn't offensive. Just a dinosaur popcorn flick. Stop having a heart attack over this shit you speedwatcher
Jp3 was a great film and miles better than this abortion. At least it had a coherent plot.
I'm just happy they shoved a black girl in for no reason. And as someone who won't be watching this I assume she's critical to the plot and a lesbian?
She is indeed a lesbian, she has a pinup girl painted on her plane and says she likes redheads. And somehow the only person who could get them to the secret villain la- I mean dinosaur preserve. So, you nailed it.
Eh, she's hot.
She's not that bad and she bizarrely meshes decently with Owen. Lesbian tho.
Saw it today. This movie is actually so bad that I can't think of a single thing to say about it. There are too many things wrong and just plain horribly executed and it's just not even worth the effort to think about or type out. The critics were right, it makes Fallen Kingdom seem a lot more fun and interesting by comparison which is insane.
The Good
>Therazinosaurus stalking Claire scene
>The return of the brapasaurus rex
>Some of Ian's quips were funny
>Pyroraptor looked cool
>Malta chase scene
>Guy on the scooter getting yeet'd
The Bad
>At times awful tier effects
>Dr. Grant just felt along for the ride and never really did anything
>The dinosaurs are basically just pokemon now
>Giganato should have been called jobbersaurus
>Owen grabbing a dilophosaurus by the neck and telling it to git
>Pyroraptor's entire screen time being in the trailer
>There was way too much time spent on the locust shit
>Holding your hand up stops you from being eaten by a dinosaur
>Laser pointer attack dinos return
>Dr. Wu redemption
>Maise single handedly almost destroying the world...again
>Malcolm going from giving speeches to congress about how dinosaurs are evil to working for the dinosaur makers
>Pretty much no named character death scenes
>the moronic idea of dinosaurs and animals living together in harmony
Sadly, if you cut out all of the shit with the original cast, you'd be left with a fairly entertaining action movie. The locust plot drags the entire thing down though.
The scenes with the original cast were the only good parts of this moronic waste of time. Should have cut all the shit with Owen, Claire, Blue, and the teenage girl.
All the original cast does is stumble around looking for oversized grasshoppers for 75% of the movie. Why did you enjoy that? At least the new casts stuff had dumb fun action.
>Dr. Wu redemption
>Bad
I'm glad my Black person hada happy ending
The guy is a piece of shit and they honestly ruined him by turning him into a regret plagued boomer. He was much better as an egomaniac who didn't care about morality.
The last two movies they made it very clear that Wu was a bad guy. He was working with whatever the evil group's name was to create the weaponized dinosaurs. In the new movie he created the locusts that the entire movie revolves around. But he felt bad about it at the end so all is forgiven and he doesn't get eaten by something.
Must had been wrote by a woman. They dint you can get away with litterall genocides, if you are VERY Sorry for it
>Didnt
*Think
No, it's wasted character death. The movie is too soft.
that dudes acting in Jurassic World was so fricking bad. His twink accent made it even goofier
It came out of nowhere, though. Why did he suddenly become so soft-hearted in the third film?
Not exactly related, but this video is pretty close to what you want.
Aren't dilophosaurus really fricking big irl?
Bigger than Jurassic Park/World depicts them, yes. Probably close to the size of an Allosaurus if not a little bit smaller.
The JP one was as tall as Nedry if i remember correctly. It wasn't small, so how exactly is Owen grabbing something that large by the neck and telling it to get?
I went in expecting to despise her, but she is the least of the movies problems. The only eye roll moment is they for some reason decide to have her mention she's a lesbian for absolutely no reason at all.
Yeah, I thought the same. Expected to hate her, but so much else is terrible and worse with the film that she actually ended up being ok. Pilot characters usually tend to be good at a baseline anyway though so they would have had to really try to make her suck.
Because they are better actors and better characters. Just seeing them together again is worth a thousand repetitive scenes of Owen running away from raptors on a motorcycle or the T-Rex fighting another predator of the week. The entire movie should have been rewritten and remade with a different plot and set pieces, none of the action scenes were exciting or interesting. And then just put Grant, Ellie Malcolm in them instead of Owen and Claire. Pretty simple. They actually progressed what little plot existed here and had better dialogue.
A frick doll maybe. She was surprisingly hot.
Give me Carboniferous Park.
based carboniferous chad
Science bros, give it to me straight, are the mosasaurus and whales really going to be friends?
Mosasaurus size was redonkulous. Humpback whales are 15m long, Mosasaurus 17m. It looked twice as long
They would probably eat whales, much like the Megalodon.
They shouldn’t.
But these movies are made by morons.
So the director will say that the whales and Mosasaurus will live in le harmony to justify the dinosaurs existing with man.
Same with the pterodactyl making friends with the birds and not eating.
Kinda sad that even Steve Alten is smarter than this.
The Blue whale is the biggest animal to have ever lived. The introduction of competition with a similar species will just eventually lead to a race of intelligent dolphinwhale people
JW Mosasaurus is literally the size of Godzilla
No, she's gonna try to eat them. Hopefully, the Mosa can't make babies asexually, so she will eventually die from natural causes. Preferably before she eliminates the last of the whales.
This was the weirdest scene in the movie. It's been showed off as a killing machine and now its making friends with food
It magically changes size between scenes, that isn't even the biggest it's been
Killer whales would murder the shit out of marine reptiles, even if the only motive was for seeing how a new species reacts to being tortured
The MCU and it's concequences have been a disaster for modern cinematography.
It's painful to watch a good franchise finishing with this horrible movie.
nah, this is better than Chris Pratt led Jurassic films. refreshing.
No it wasn't. It was fricking awful. And it was a Chris Pratt led one, so I don't know what you're on about.
He slid into my dms
Did they have a script about giant locusts and just slap the Jurassic World title on it? Felt that way for a lot of it.
Probably. That's often the case with a lot of bad movies. Instead of writing a story, they just co-opt some other story they have sitting around and slap some [iconic name brand CGI] on it and call it a day
>international criminal
>never faces charges
How lucky is that butthole? He as a completely minor forgettable role in the first film and here he is years later getting sequel roles?
He went from nerd to supervillain to depressed alcoholic
avg. incel character arc
Turning him into a villain then giving him a redemption arc was for this trilogy was really cool.
The redemption didn't make sense. It needed set up. Ever since JP Wu was shown progressively worse, until the last film where he literally was confirmed to be participating in weaponization/black market secrets stuff. The guy was corrupt and arrogant as hell. Him suddenly giving a shit that his ego is hurting other people didn't make sense. He never gave a shit before.
That’s why trilogies should never switch directors for the middle installment and should just have the same people making all three.
Although I will admit that making weaponized dinosaurs is probably a totally different level from intentionally engineering a famine so that your boss can take over the world
Whatever happened to this bad boy?
Explained four movies ago, try to keep up
So the dinosaurs on Isla Sorna don't need it because there is plentiful basedbeans on the island. The herbivores eat the basedbeans and the predators eat the herbivores.
We're not on Island Sorna anymore. Haven't been since that dinosaur said Alan.
>Haven't been since that dinosaur said Alan.
JP3 was in sorna as well
This movie is so dumb and goofy I cant bring myself to hate it.
Its like a beatiful trainwreck. It goes back around again into being something truly special. Everything about it is contrived and pandering, especially the whole 'living with nature aspect of it', when its clear the 35% lf people who polled to kill the dinos would be more like 70% IRL with entire governments hunting them down and most of the species dying out from being too stupid to survive on their own.
I think you watch the original trilogy to see good to decent movies.
You watch this one while drunk to have a good laugh at it.
uhhhh kino department???
Was that Rexy or a different t rex
It should have been the spinosaurus instead of the therizinosaurus
True. Was hoping the Spino would join in to save Rexy and end the 20 year rivalry between Spinogays and T-Rexgays
Not even Worf has been worfed as hard as the rex. Even when she gets a 'win' it was only because of a might-as-well-be-blind herbivore.
>Giga homie saurus
Was the therazine really that fricking big or is that just movie shit
30 feet tall, only 20 inch claws though. Movie claws are like 4 feet.
Holy fricking shit
He's a big guy
>Claws don't break upon impact
>Claws don't break upon impact
This really triggered my autism. Was the gigaBlack folkaurus made of butter? Did the edwardscissorhand-rex have adamantium claws?
KEK looks so bad. Now Poor Therino has to wander around with a Giga on his claws..
No more snipping fiber :c
Aww, where's the lightning bolt?
I originally tried to screencap it but the frame before had more visibility so I posted that one but in hindsight people that didn't see the movie probably didn't even realize a fricking lightning bolt struck the earth behind them as both dinosaurs look up to roar.
>jurassic park
>shit
more news at 11
>people don't just kill the dinosaurs
Because Killing the Dinosaurs would get them an R rating.
Also these movies are basically PETA for Dinosaurs.
The new movies go out of their way to protect the heckin Dinosaurs no matter what.
Even when Dinosaurs kill people, the movies are not allowed to have the military blow them apart.
So the movie tries to force a “WE NEED TO LIVE IN HARMONY” message despite the fact these creatures would destroy the environment. Mosasaurus would drive whales and sharks to extinction. And thousands of birds and pets would be eaten. Not to mention the dinosaurs that, y’know, eat people.
>Not to mention the dinosaurs that, y’know, eat people.
This. Imagine you're a mother whose little 5 year old child got torn apart by a raptor and the government refuses to kill it because "We need to live in harmony with the dinosaurs :)" as if they're just a fricking foreign culture with strange customs and not violent dangerous animals that can and will kill and eat people.
ha ha, imagine that
good thing that never happens irl with violent refugees ha ha
The Malta/Black market shit kills the film dead.
What did the dinosaur scientist expect would happen when he engineered super locusts in the first place?
Dodson became a supervillain who wanted to take over the world, so he had Wu make bugs to literally eat all of America's crops.
It's so fricking dumb.
He gave off Bill Gates vibes
I couldn't tell if that was meant to be his genuine vibe or if he was larping to throw Grant and Elly off their game
I read that as "Dobson," lol.
This is starting to sound a lot like predictive programming.
>Ah shit, here we go again
Black lady was hot. Filtered
Only incels even notice shit like this nevermind get offended
The supposed antagonist was the most pathetic "villain" I've ever witnessed in a movie. No charisma, no character. Didn't even do anything when we learnt the Black betrayed him and destroyed everything he built. I honestly forgot he was the villain everytime he wasn't on screen
Thinking Jurassic Park is about the dinosaurs is like thinking Resident Evil is about the zombies
You can expect jurassic park to have dinosaurs and expect resident evil to have zombies.
You don't expect jurassic world to not have dinosaurs and have locusts instead
Best of the World trilogy, hands down.
Pretty good overall too. Nice to have all that closure, and now theres plenty of places to go next.
>name gay
>bad opinion
Pottery
Did Klayton say his opinon about the movie yet? Huge JPgay youtuber that was hyping the movie for years?
His last upload was almost a month ago. I'm guessing he's going to be forced to be positive about it since his entire channel revolves around it. It'd be sort of dumb for him to shit all over it.
All the dumb Jurassic Park content creators are gonna say it's good cuz if they don't they'll starve to death
Speaking of Klayton, listening to this while building parks in JWE2 is incredibly comfy.
The franchise died with Richard Attenborough.
Glad I watched top gun instead. I am going to go watch top gun again.
seeing BDH in distress really turns me on
shit movie otherwise
I just wanted to see her vored so badly. With some nice internal stomach shots and muffled screaming. Shit would be so hot.
can someone explain to me if they really thought in the last movie that her releasing the dinosaurs was a good idea and people would agree? Any normal sane person would have told the idiot girl "no we are killing them frick you"
Trevorrow is just mentally ill and a bad writer. But dumb people watch his movies so he never self-reflects.
post link please. actually interested in this one.
My boomer dad and his friends were talking shit with me about this movie on the topic of Top Gun II.
They were making fun of how moronic it was that every movie has to get bigger and how dinosaurs taking over the world was stupid as frick. Laughed when I said the next movie would be dinosaurs in space
>moon base overrun by dinos
U laugh but I could see this happening at this point.
>They were making fun of how moronic it was that every movie has to get bigger and how dinosaurs taking over the world was stupid as frick
So they didn't watch the movie. That's not even remotely what it's about.
Please understand, I hate this movie, but I hate dipshits who pretend to know what they're talking about
>but he saw the movie!
Then he's just actually moronic and didn't have enough brain power to process the fricking grasshoppers
There was a bigger and badder dino, they just didnt know what to do with it and it got stabbed like a moron
Yeah none of us have seen it
It doesn't matter we were shooting shit. If they were talking trash about Dune or something kino I might correct but this is lowest common demoninator trash blockbuster whogiveashit?
>Dinosaurs in space
Better then israeliteplanes 2: More money for israel
It's strange that the Therizinosaurus makes up a decent chunk of the actual good parts of the film and that JW has another herbivore that isn't just pure friendly npc but at the same time, I feel like you could've replaced the scene of it in the forest chasing Claire with the Quetzalcoatlus chasing after her.
Those long claws must have been used for burrowing. Like Giant Ground Sloths.
I'd never heard of this thing before the movie. Wikipedia informs me of studies that indicate that sort of activity would cause the most stress and damage to the claws based on their structure and fragility, and that they were most likely used to grab and hook foliage.
Got to say that Professors dismissal of the ground digging theory for the use of the claws is pretty weak. What's to say the feathers would impede digging? plenty of birds today dig just find. Maybe they were high specialized feathers that allowed for efficient digging and removal of Dirt?
This movie was someone trying to cram two Michael Chrichton novels (Jurassic Park and Prey) together without Chrichton's autism and that automatically makes it a disjointed mess.
Then there's a constant mood whiplash from "we've destroyed the environment, we're fricked, and we're all gonna die" to "you can't sit back and you must do something!" Yet then the ending is "lol just coexist."
Maisie and her mother are the single worst thing added to the series. Worse than the hybrids. Fricking around with human cloning/human genetic engineering is like something you build up your final villain does. Maisie's mother committed the single greatest breach in bioethics in the series and yet she's hailed as a saint. Chrichton would have had an aneurysm.
The Dinosaur movie barely had Dinosaurs in them, and those who did appear felt like someone checking a box.
The movie has so many coincidences it could easily be a fatal drinking game. It might actually be the worst writing I've ever seen.
I'm not even going into the rest. This movie was the first I've ever sat in the audience and said "this is terrible" aloud. Even my nephew, probably this movie's target demographic, passed out about halfway through.
But, hey, some of the Dinos were cool. BDH is hot. The Black girl was surprisingly not annoying, but the black communications guy was a better great example of what that crowd complains about. Especially because he could have been Kelly and thus make the Malcolm connection.
I'm frustrated. Pic related was my immediate thought after. JP was my favorite series as a kid and now I'm just sad
The biggest tragedy of this movie will be that some Hollywood exec will blame the puppets/practicals in this movie for it's failings.
Because I will give them credit for that. I noticed a bunch of them.
How much of Bryce's ass is in the film?
Basically just the scene she crawls into the water.
Her breasts get top billing
OWDAD
>The only callback actually worth anything in the movie
The one bright spot in an evening of disappointment. Remember when this movie had leaks that actually sounded cool?
Jeremy jahns outed himself as pure chud in his review
They should've of just gone for the humans-dino
hybrid Idea that they had in the beginning.Those leaks were fricking wild.
Those look moronic and would ruin the series. If they wanted to do a human-dino hybrid, just make it a regular-looking dino with the intelligence of a human. That would make an interesting villain (although the dinosaurs now have Pokémon-level intelligence since FK anyway).
Does anyone take red dinowiener up the pussy and get filled with sloppy dinocum or not the only reason i even pay attention to these films is to see one of the dumb bawds get pinned and forcibly bred by a dinosaur i mean cum on
>3 movies can't even make something on par with JPIII
Yep, I think I'm getting vindicated.
The new dinosaurs look awful and the low effort cgi helps nothing.
I swear the car swerving off a cliff to avoid the stegosaurus was an old video I watched in a wrecked thread on /gif/.
What really matters is that the series is over and now BDH can get fat again like God intended for her.
I hope she never acts again. She needs to move full-time into directing, with an extra-wide director's chair built to hold her considerable ass.
Slid into my dms on twitter
I don't even know what can happen from here. Hollywood can't even rely on their moronic go to strategy of just remaking the original. Jurassic Park is an industry legend and a Criterion Collection masterpiece beloved by millions. They've fricked the franchise into oblivion with no workable out despite the goodwill they earned with Jurassic World.
I think this is actually the death of the franchise.
Not trying to meme or whatever, but what the frick do you guys want from these movies? The whole point of these movies is to see CG dinosaurs eat people. That's it. Nothing else. The plot, story, characters, acting, whatever else you think is important... does not matter.
Yes, the only good one is the first one. No shit, but you guys' expectations about a dinosaur movie in 2022 are way too fricking high given modern Hollywood.
>The whole point of these movies is to see CG dinosaurs eat people. That's it. Nothing else.
One character with a name gets eaten. Off screen.
Which is why I won't see it. To expect shit and then to be surprised when it is shit is fascinating to me.
Expecting shit and wanting dino rampages are not the same thing and are also not mutually exclusive.
You asked what I wanted, I told you, then you told me what people expected. Who fricking cares what people expected and whether it came true or not? It doesn't impact what I wanted.
I want something more than a subpar thrill ride with soulless action made with jaded intent and to not be patronized for believing that dinosaurs can exist in a good movie.
I want someone with an actual vision to take a long, hard look at Jurassic Park, TLW/JPIII to some extent, and the novels to really find out how to capture the essence of what works and put it on screen in a meaningful way that evokes the duality of both wonder and horror.
I want the same thing too, my man, but we're never getting that from a popcorn blockbuster now. I get having standards and wanting quality, but modern Hollywood is not capable of doing that.
Anyone that has this mindset should be murdered
Why? I don't have faith in Hollywood anymore and neither should you.
>why is it wrong to just give up and turn your brain off instead of wanting critical analysis of the human condition dressed up with big lizards eating people?
You're 100% right and that's the audience these studios are going for. That's why I don't watch their shit unless I pirate it.
Hopefully the next movie will be about dinosaurs escaping a theme park
>"Black Excellence" is reminded every 15 minutes
>Chris Pratt can wrangle Parasaurolophus by himself; why he was doing that, it wasn't specified
>Jeff Goldblum just plays himself and annoying as frick; wasn't even Ian Malcolm
>Heavy pandering to the first film...AGAIN
>Blue Raptors aren't a factor at all
>Dr. Wu gets a redemption
>Therinzosaurus is now THE FACE of the Jurassic Franchise
Fricking Cringe...
is now THE FACE of the Jurassic Franchise
This is based though.
better than D-Rex and spino
>uses black lady oc instead of someone like Billy or Tim
The viral marketing pre-FK perfectly tee'd up a return for Lex and/or Tim but they wasted an opportunity
JP1 and Lost World are the only canon films.
Thank God for Prehistoric Planet, glad duminion is not the only major dino media this year.
I didn't watch it and I'm not going to.
Are the dinos having virgin births? That was part of the original book (frog dna). If it's anything else, then this is more garbage than I expected.
Blue does, because of monitor lizard DNA.
Also humans do, because frick you it's okay to play god if you're a woman.
Yikes.
I should clarify, I haven't seen any of the movies except the original, but I've only seen it when changing channels during ad breaks
Remember Malcoms "God creates dinosaur, God kills dinosaur' thing from the original and then Sadler chimes in with 'Woman inherits the Earth'?
back in the day I thought it was a humorous takedown of Malcom attributing Gods hand in the inevitable failure of the park.
Now it's a serious continuation.
>jurassic movies were SJW'd from the start
>chuds seething
1 > 4 > 2 > 6 > 3 > 5
This is pretty close to accurate but honestly I'd probably put 6 higher.
Actually
1>2>3>4>5>6
Correct.
correct
Jurassic World is fricking goyslop.
>mfw watch JW right after JP
>physically and intellectually realize how inferior JW is
>its not just 5/10 vs 10/10
>its like watching beavis and butthead right after psycho
1>2>3>6>4>5
1>2>3>4>5>6
5>1>2>6>4>3
JP 1 = JP 2* > CC S1-3 > JW D > JP TG > JP 3 > JW > CC S4 > B@BR > JW FK
* I rank the first two as equals, because both of them are equally enjoyable to me, & hold a very special place in my heart. All ratings based on personal enjoyment & preference, not whether it's technically good.
procreate
Are there dino/human hybrids in this movie like they originally planned in a sequel to the first JW movie? Probably the only thing that would get me interested enough to watch this.
>Only incels even notice shit like this nevermind get offended
that’s maybe the weakest jak i’ve ever seen
>>uses black lady oc
SHE WAS ACTUALLY ATTRACTIVE THO!
Good film, the best of the World movies and a huge improvement over the dreadful Fallen Kingdom.
>This is the worst JP film
yes yes it is
I liked it
Cute!
I haven't seen Fallen Kingdom or this movie. Has Malcolm's daughter had any part in these movies? If you wanted a black woman with dino experience...
>kekaroo! Grant has no children! Waku Waku
Nice wishful thinking. After 14 years of absence the series returned and with it a new small dino renaissance
What country you're from if parthenogenesis is such a mystery for you?
Chris Pratt is a terrible leading man
Why would anybody care about the top characters when they've only been in the terrible movies?
>dinosaurs
The original onions.
>people don't just kill the dinosaurs
Governments would light them the frick up instantly they'd become a treat. You wouldn't need much more than rifles and maybe some HMG's in the case of the big bad ones.
>Oh no a T-rex
>Hahaha, M2 goes Ka-CHUNK-CHUNK-CHUNK
Government are laughably incompetent. Just look at how many invasive species there are in Florida alone. And then you have the whole mega corporations, which are undoubtedly in the pockets of politicians, trying to recapture their multi million dollar assets.
Some frickoos would be out there shooting them though for sure if they were that common to see.
Its a bit harder wiping out a whole population of small and elusive invasive animals than it is flying around in a helicopter and knocking over a handful of animals the size of a small building though
the underwater one, the mosasaur, I could see that one being an international mess and not getting killed easily. Everything else? It is kind of ridiculous. An elephant is never on the loose for years. Maybe some of the flying ones inhabit some ecosystem, not NY or w.e. that was so absurd. It was like a childrens book. Hell in Lost World they caught that T-rex that night.
The japanese would have it served on a plate within a day
How the frick did they frick up his neck that fricking bad?
>black lady OC
wtf from watching the trailers I thought she was gonna be Malcolm's daughter from Jurassic Park 2. Kind of a missed opportunity there if they really needed a black actress to check a diversity box.
>JP
wait it's Japanese?
Eh, it was "okay". CG and some of the practical effects looked pretty good, the nostalgiabaiting wasn´t as dumb as I expected and there were some decent action scenes. Overall, a kinda dumb, but enjoyable movie.
However, the first Jurassic Park movie really hit the hardest. To this day I think it´s the most original with the most believable plot and thickest atmosphere